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#Stan the tour guide
lanitadaily · 8 days
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Lana Del Rey spotted out with (TW) Jeremy Dufrene
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mayamarvil · 2 years
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i want kim kardashian levels of fame bruce wayne. like everyone in america know bruce wayne and thinks he's just a rich asshole, but the people of gotham adore bruce wayne, like they riot on the streets if anyone says anything bad about bruce wayne.
Detective Comics (1937-) #27
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starkeysprincess · 2 months
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meeting college roommate!rafe when you move into your friend, Barry’s apartment, only to meet his roommate, Rafe, whom you recognize from a one-night stand
warnings: mention of one night stand, flashback in italics & indented, “first time” meeting rafe
a/n: this is supposed to be more of them "meeting" for the first time hence why i left it open + in case anyone wanted more to this
m.list ✧︎ other au/concepts ✧︎ taglist
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His large, calloused hands gripped your hips, guiding your movements while his face is buried in the crook of your neck, “Yeah, that’s it…doing so good f’me” he muttered against your skin, his lips leaving a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses in his wake. He pulls away from your neck, silent groans escaping his mouth as he takes in the sight of your pleasure-ridden face, “god…you’re so fuckin’ beautiful when you come”.
When you woke up the next morning, you were met with a vacant spot in your bed and you couldn’t tell if you were more disappointed that he left without saying anything or the fact that you’d never see him again.
It’s been weeks and although it was nothing more than a meaningless one-night stand, you haven’t been able to stop thinking about that night. But, you had more important things to worry about, such as trying to figure out your living situation due to being screwed over by your apartment leasing manager.
You could say that it’s been a very stressful few weeks, you even posted it on your close friend’s story, hoping that someone you knew needed a roommate. Thankfully, your friend, Barry, swiped on your story, telling you that he and his roommate were looking for another roommate and even asked if you wanted to come over to check the apartment out before you made a decision.
As soon as you got to his apartment, he showed you around. You were immediately in love with the apartment and after the tour, he asked if you needed time to think about your answer. Even though you didn’t know who his mysterious roommate was, you needed a roof over your head and you knew you could afford the rent. But what ultimately made you say yes was that you’ve known Barry for as long as you could remember and knew you could trust him.
All Barry told you about his roommate was he had girls over often and that you “may want to invest in some earplugs”. 
“Speaking of… when am I going to meet my other roommate?” you question. Before Barry can answer, you hear the lock turning on the front door, “I’d say now” Barry chuckles, “C’mon, I gotta introduce the two of you”.
“Hey, pretty boy! Got someone I need you to meet, she’s our new roommate!” Barry shouted as the two of you walked into the living area.  You could hear his roommate hanging up his keys, groaning, “Jesus, man, I’m comin’ just give me a sec”.
Your ears perk at the familiar voice but you shrug it off as you hear his footsteps approaching the two of you. “Don’t mind his grumpy ass, the little shit is always grumpy” Barry nudged you.
“Come talk to me when you start wakin’ up early every day for work” Rafe scoffs. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever” Barry snorted, “Hurry up, man. I don’t have all day”.
“Holy shit” the two of you muttered as soon as Rafe entered the living room, your breath hitches in your throat as he froze in his spot.
“Rafe, meet my friend, who’s officially our new roommate” Barry introduced, barely paying attention to how you and Rafe are gawking at each other.
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tagging: @oceandriveab @babygorewhore @xxbimbobunnyxx @nemesyaaa @rafecameronsmistress @drudyslut @sleepyjuice @annoyingassleo @rylie-m @hallecarey1 @heartsforvin @sturnioloshacker @rafescurtainbangz @rafesthroatbaby @starkeyisthelastname @kisses4angel @hyperfixationgirl @emilysuperswag @starkeysheart @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @fae-of-prey @amandabbbbb @rafecameroninterlude @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @spid6y @chimindity @starkeysbebe @spacexdrago @honeybunniesoobin @juniebugg @zyafics
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svt-luna · 1 month
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୨⎯ LUNA-VERSE MASTERLIST ⎯୧
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hello, lovlies ♡ welcome to my main masterlist! ~ this will be your guide to navigate through my different works throughout the ❝luna-verse❞ which are all complied on their own little respective masterlist.
✧.* 💌 requests are always open! message me or just sent them anonymously if you desire or you can comment on one of my posts.
ೃ���➷ message or comment on one of my post if you want to be added to my taglist and please be patient if you want to be added in. thank you and happy reading!!
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MEET LUNA ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
╰ KPROFILE || LUNA’S FILES || VISUALS || FACTS || MORE FACTS || THE ERAS
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RELATIONSHIPS
╰ VOCAL TEAM || HIP HOP TEAM || PERFORMANCE TEAM || GROUP SHIPS || SVT THINGS || OTHER RELATIONSHIPS
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SOCIAL MEDIA
╰ INSTAGRAM || STAN TWITTER || LIVES || INTERVIEWS || NEWS ARTICLES || YOUTUBE COMPILATIONS
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SHOWS
╰ GOING SEVENTEEN || SVT RECORD || IN THE SOOP 1 || IN THE SOOP 2 || GAME CATERERS || NANA TOUR || FAN REACTIONS
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OTHERS
╰ WRITINGS || SCENARIOS || HEADCANNONS
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Taglist: @yeoberryx @minminghao @angie-x3 @jennwonwoo @k13endall @heeseungthel0ml @chisskaa @megumi2020 @yoonzzziino @lllucere @smh-anon @yveclipse @randomworker @bunnystrm @iamawkwardandshy @gratefulbunny1 @bmo-bri @syren-ash @megseungmin @multiplums @unlikelysublimekryptonite @night-storm7 @cookiearmy @seokqt @btskzfav
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stanpinesdykewife · 14 days
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Speed dating is. The BEST fic I’ve ever read. I’m being so serious. And this is coming from a chronic fic-reader
I SCREAMED!!! this is insane and so so crazy to me!! thank you! i really really appreciate it!!!
i'm aware speed dating is near the top of the tag since it's kind of new so here are some other stan/reader fics i really really like (sunshine is my fave rn but otherwise in no particular order) under the cut!!
Sunshine by dipppyfresh (100,706 words, incomplete)
Your brother has gone missing, and the last place he was heard from is a town called Gravity Falls. You're going to find out what happened. You've been looking for an escape, and a certain family- specifically, a certain man- might help you do just that.
Sailor Stories by DesertWitch33 (8,770 words, complete)
As a tour guide in a small harbor town, you always promised yourself you wouldn't fall in love with the sailors that came in and out of the place- you know better than that. But when Stan Pines and his brother show up to investigate one of your favorite legends, your resolve is tested... and of course, there is the actual problem of being captured by ghost pirates on Halloween...
Natural Attraction by consult_the_potato (69,443 words, incomplete)
Making your way to your college lab-partner's newest research location, you're excited at the prospects of a fresh beginning in a new town. The house is quaint, the woods are deep and mysterious, and Stanford Pines is the same goofball you remember him being. Even with the addition of another research partner (a hick, as surprised as you may be), the duo in the cabin make for a great pair of roommates.
Ford's boisterous brother, on the other hand, is someone you think you'd rather keep at arm's length.
Must See: Mystery Shack by guilty_pleasures_abound (6,534 words, complete)
You're a travel writer, putting together an article of the pacific northwest's weirdest, most tourist-trap stops on the map. When you entered the Mystery Shack as part of your trip, you could have never anticipated just how up-close-and-personal you would end up getting with its colorful proprietor.
Stood Up by DesertWitch33 (8,695 words, complete)
Online dating is the worst, especially when you get stood up for a first date at the county fair. Luckily, a man named Stan saves the day.
Sweetcheeks by lady_brontide (12,548 words, complete)
Babysitting for Stan puts you in some weird situations. As a salesman, Stan Pines can turn any odd little mishap to his advantage, and he's turning a mortifying situation you found yourself in to an offer worth considering.
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ohmyeyesmyeyes · 1 year
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what happened in switzerland?
mick schumacher x singer!f!reader
fc: gracie abrams bc i have no self control
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britishvogue posted...
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liked by ynofficial, alexachung and 231,926 others
britishvogue: Singer y/n l/n recently attended a music festival in Australia after her break from social media and the public eye. In an interview conducted by a fan, she explained how she was excited to see what the future has in store and is looking forward to releasing new music after an inspiring trip to Switzerland this Winter.
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fan1: FINALLY MOTHER HAS RETURNED
fan2: get this woman a grammy immediately
fan3: pls she's so cute 😭
fan4: at this point i genuinely think i'm in love with her
fan5: this is amazing and all but i'm wondering why switzerland?
fan6: switzerland is actually very beautiful so it makes sense that she was inspired when she visited
fan7: fr like switzerland in the winter???? cold but GORGEOUS
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liked by alyahcs, alexachung and 791,193 others
ynofficial: i feel like it'd be weird to ignore the fact that i kind of went offline for about a year and a half (and i only just found out that virtually nobody had seen me either) so i'm letting you guys know that i'm alive, well, happy, and writing again - and i'm so excited to announce that a new single, 'happy endings', will be released at midnight tonight!
also, have some (2) pictures from the last 18 months, photographed in my new happy place 🥰
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fan8: YOU LOOK SO HAPPY IM SO EXCITED
fan9: happy endings will either destroy my mental health or leave me a sobbing mess on the bathroom floor (wrong, it'll do both)
fan10: switzerland is officially on my bucket list of countries to visit
ynofficial: good girl👍👍👍👍
fan10: imdead 🧎🧎
fan11: i'm 🫶 so 🫶 proud 🫶 of 🫶 you 🫶
ynofficial: STOP YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH
georgerussell63: looking forward to hearing it!
liked by ynofficial
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mickschumacher has posted to their story...
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liked by mclaren, lissiemackintosh and 360,184 others
mercedesamgf1: it's official: the boys are all in their 'happy endings' eras! 🥳
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fan12: came for the driving update, left knowing we can stan the merc boys
fan13: AS THEY BLOODY WELL SHOULD BE
fan14: idk bout you but mick is cheesing a little too hard at that question 😏
fan15: i thought that too, but he probably just has a little crush, bless his soul 🥰
fan16: i wasn't convinced but after i saw lewis likes her music, i listened to her recent single and omg it's actually incredible
fan17: is this the same y/n that mick posted about the other day?
fan18: yes!
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liked by ynofficial, phildunster and 483,188 others
mercedesamgf1: familiar faces in the garage. fabioquatararo, tomholland2013 and ynofficial are attending the race on behalf of us (by popular demand 😉)
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fan19: i hope the drivers begged them to invite ynofficial 😞
mercedesamgf1: who says they didn't? 🤔
fan20: I BET IT WAS MICK
fan21: GIVE ME A TOM AND Y/N INTERACTION I'M BEGGING YOU
fan22: tom??? fabio is a literal motogp wc 😭
fan23: scraping for crumbs of y/n rn GIVE US EVERYTHING YOU HAVE
mercedesamgf1: 🫡
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liked by estebanocon, connor_swindells and 519,312 others
ynofficial: thank you mercedesamgf1, this weekend has been INSANE!!! also, a massive shout out to mickschumacher for being the best tour guide 😁
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fan24: ok panic over *mops up forehead* 😌
fan25: aw i was kinda hoping they were dating, they'd be cute together 🥲
fan26: this^
fan27: the way they both looked like they were having fun 😊
fan28: PLS HIS FACE IT'S TOO CUTE AHHSDJF
fan29: omg she did a hot lap BABE WHO WAS THE DRIVER
ynofficial: mickshumacher!
fan30: oh. my. god.
mercedesamgf1: content coming soon 😉
fan31: i'm dying someone send helllllpppppp
fan32: why am i fighting the urge to squeal after that merc comment
fan33: no bc same that emoji defo implies something
mickshumacher: had an awesome time with you this weekend ☺️
liked by ynofficial
fan34: shooting his shot
fan35: yk what, i'd probably do the same
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liked by landonorris, stephbohrer and 591,374 others
mickschumacher: austria 😁
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fan36: hmm yeah they're probably dating let's be honest
fan37: but he was only her tour guide and it's kind of natural that he'd get photos of her, esp considering she was invited as a merc guest?
fan38: true but when has mick ever done that before?
fan37: i'm just saying, the last thing we want to do is assume things bc there's a perfectly reasonable excuse as to why they've been spending time together
fan39: FUCKING BROAD SHOULDERS 🫠🫠
fan40: i just know y/n took that 😭
fan41: kay but all those photos are just so cute
fan42: right???
callum_ilott: 🤨
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liked by danielricciardo, kaitlyndever and 691,320 others
ynofficial: my new album 'STAYING AT SEB'S' is out next week and i'm so excited for you all to finally hear it!
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fan43: seb's? as in seb vettel's farm?
fan44: just how did you draw that conclusion????
fan43: bc she could be dating mick and seb owns a farm in switzerland and i'm pretty sure she knows daniel ricciardo through her manager who knows seb vettel. it's far-fetched but it's not impossible
fan45: if this is right...🤯
fan46: OMG I'M SO EXCITED I JUST SHIT MYSELF IN COSTCO
fan47: i'm gonna listen to this because i'm a massive fan of baby goats
ynofficial: omg i love that for you
fan48: is it a happy album or soul-crushingly depressing
ynofficial: 🤷
fan49: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN GIRLIE 💀
charles_leclerc: no bc i'm so excited
fan50: charles lmao
ynofficial: 🫶
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liked by ynofficial, sebastianvettel and 691,186 others
mickshumacher: happy two years, sweetheart 💗 there's never been a day i haven't been in complete awe of your existence; i love and appreciate you everyday
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fan51: oh. em. acca. gee.
fan52: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
fan53: I SHIP IT. I SHIP IT SO HARD
fan54: babe calm down, they've sailed already
fan55: i'm crying pls the way she looks at him HAS ME BLUSHING
georgerussell63: congrats to the happy couple!
estebanocon: about time our dts gossip session came to light 🤣
danielricciardo: fucking finally 😁
lewishamilton: 💜
fan56: the support from the drivers is melting meeeee
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liked by mercedesamgf1, laurawoodsy and 712,001 others
ynofficial: happy 2 years to my favourite person, the love of my life, the most adorable human being ever created, and my best friend. it's been a blast so far and i'm loving every second of it 🥰
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fan57: can i ask if mick is the inspiration for 'happy endings'?
ynofficial: he's actually the inspiration for the whole album
fan58: he's so golden retriever
sebastianvettel: i can confirm this is true
danielricciardo: hello??? seb??? look at my texts
fan59: ok he's hot
fan60: THE MOTORBIKE AND THE ARMS 😭🥵
fan61: she's out here creating thirst traps of her bf
fan62: honestly if he looked like mick, i think i would too
fan63: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY 'STAYING AT SEB'S'??????
ynofficial: SEB VETTEL
charles_leclerc: 😲
estebanocon: 😲
lewishamilton: 😲
danielricciardo: 😲
landonorris: 😲
ynofficial: kay wtf
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judesmoonbeauty · 2 months
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Roger Barel - My Thoughts So Far...
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Hiii everybody! I just wanted to drop a review/my thoughts on Roger’s route so far, this all about chapters 1-5. I’m anticipating a lot exciting events after his CE is completed, so I’m trying not to delve into my resources too much, which means I'm reading only 1 chapter a day. I think after every five chapters or so, I will write my thoughts about it. Spoilers will be included, they won’t be super detailed, but they are there below the cut.
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Okay so in short: I LOVE his route so far, it’s been great. I laughed pretty much in every chapter so far about something or another. Of course, this is just the beginning and I fully anticipate angst, heartache and drama. I CRAVE it. I haven’t really spoilers about his route, except for one and it’s pretty major, so I’m going to leave that out for now and circle back to it when I read it for myself.
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Roger’s Kate So Far:
I LOVE her. I mean I LOVE Kate anyway, but she feels very real to me in the outset.
She is very dead set on NOT falling in love. All she wants to do is survive Crown and get out of there, and it’s nice to see that sense of urgency from her. Not to say that she doesn’t have that desire in the other routes, because she does, but I feel like she really stresses that point in the first five chapters. And understandably so, I mean she’s living in a castle filled with men who kill for a living, and it’s emphasized how she hasn’t laughed/smiled once since coming to the castle, or has barely eaten anything. So, seeing her undergo that stress (poor kid), is refreshing in a way because I feel like in other routes Cybird just glosses over the toll that would take on someone.
She’s a drinker (HELL YEAH). She’s gotten wasted twice so far in the first five chapters. The morning after’s were quite adorable (at least I think so.)
She wants to get stronger and become a fighter because she wants to ensure her survival, so we see her taking self-defense lessons with Roger and Ellis, in order to better herself. And I don’t about you, but I STAN A QUEEN WHO CAN FIGHT. So, I’m excited and I can’t wait to see more from our precious Kate.....
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Roger So Far:
So…….I never expected a part of Roger’s route to tackle the fact that he doesn’t believe in love. I don’t know why??? But when I learned that we were going that route, I was happy with it. It’ll be interesting to see how his mind and heart is becomes convinced that love is more than just a bunch of neuro-chemicals and physiological reactions. He is brutally upfront about his lifestyle choices and beliefs - I appreciate that. For example, he’s just like when I get the urge to fuck, I fuck. Of course, he has stipulations to that - both parties mutually consent that they fuck only one time (with Kate being the exception to rule for an entire month as long as she keeps quiet to the others about it).
To be honest, I didn’t like this rule because I feel like it hit too close to home with Jin’s rule with women he get’s physically involved with. (FOR THE RECORD: I’m not comparing the two guys. I’m just saying it reminded me of it.)
Moving on, I just wheezed for a good moment when he compared Kate to his family’s corgi - Ale. Like he’s not saying it to be mean or derogatory, just the way describes her getting worked up, depressed, digging her own grave, etc. It was cute and hilarious. Loved it and I LOVE ALE!
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Roger’s Relationships With Others:
Nica: Chapter 1 had me in tears when Roger interrupted Nica’s hitting on Kate. His face was priceless and then to be stuck with Victor as a tour guide. Cherry on the top. Gold star for Roger. C’mere Nica, I’ll comfort you…..
Ellis: He drinks with Roger along with Jude, and he helps Roger with Kate’s self-defense training. I’m sure they’re going to be more involved. I expect it because in Ellis’ Blind Love route, Roger says that he betrayed Ellis’ cursed predecessor and that’s a reason why he’s like a big brother to Ellis. He also wants Ellis as his assistant as he feels that he’s too good for Jude, which I think most of us knew beforehand.
Alfons: Well…..we know how “well” they get along. I was dying in chapter 4 - I think it was - when Kate, Roger and Al are on a mission. They’ve determined recreational drugs are being used, so they’re going to go break it up, and that’s when Al & Roger get into this squabble outside the room they’re supposed to being busting into about whether or not it’s okay to use the drugs or not. Al of course, doesn’t see the big deal with it since he is a firm believer in escaping reality, and Roger basically tells him that when a person runs from reality instead of facing it that it just leaves them more empty - Al is just over it and is like you make me want to vomit in his dead pan face. Poor Kate is like ‘we can’t be doing this right now’. Proper school boy frenemies these two are.
Jude: He’s been featured a lot and that’s because his route should be dropping next (fingers crossed), but he is also a Roger drinking buddy and in the Past Records event, Jude & Roger agree to be drinking buddies in hell together…..if there is alcohol in the after life. Of course, he sees Roger quite a bit for injuries he gets, and when Jude asks why Roger is even bothering with Kate, Roger basically tells him that she is trying to survive, and it’s appealing to him. “A small dream, a goal….even small things to survive somehow. Isn’t it the same for you, Jude?” Jude lore??? More on that later in a Jude dissection I’m writing.
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Notable Things So Far:
Roger treats the Crown members in exchange for their blood samples. We learn this in chapter 5 when he treats Jude.
Roger’s father doesn’t have a problem coming to the castle to have his son dog sit. I thought this was interesting. It doesn’t seem that he fears the cursed on the whole, and I’m sure that’s due to his knowing Roger is cursed. That’s nice. He seems like a supportive father (I HOPE I’m not wrong.)
Roger create’s a Robin Growth Chart - this is to help her become strong and survive, but also to teach Roger that romantic love is something that is true - not just a biological concept. He’s already noticed a change in his HR (heart rate), when Kate is around, so I wonder how long it’ll take for him to fall.
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Favorite Scenes So Far:
Nica losing Kate to Roger.
Ring wondering if Kate and Roger are together - OMG I WANTED TO GOBBLE HIM UP!
Jude’s reaction to Ale jumping into his arm. So DAMN cute!!! Okay, so I am a cat person, but I’ve been dog sitting for one of my BFFs for the past two weeks (I love her), and I was reading this scene as her poodle was curled up next to (like she literally is on top of me every chance she gets), and Jude said: “…..Whaddya doin’, don’t jump on me, it’s hot.” Then he starting grumbling to Kate and Roger about holding onto Ale better, and asks if they were abandoning their duties while Kate’s like: “Oh, ….Jude please hold it more gently.” LMAO. Just picturing him holding this doggo awkwardly was the funniest shit ever, and adorable and we have the same doggo energy. Love them, but don’t jump on me please.
The self defense class with Roger & Ellis - I’m not sure if many of you know, but currently Ellis is my #2. I ADORE him. He is twisted and precious and I love him, and I get just as excited when I see him on the screen as I do Jude. Him sparring Roger just squeezes my heart so much.
Any scene with Roger and Al. Love it.
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K, I should go translate or do something more useful........
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unculturedmamoswine · 7 months
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Fiddauthor Recs
Ya want a Fiddauthor rec list??? You got it. This is just some fiddauthor I have in my bookmarks, in no particular order. I’m not adding warnings, so pay attention to the tags and such. If a fic is a WIP, I’ll let you know. And please DO add your own recs in comments or reblogs, especially if you know of fics that aren’t on AO3!
 If you read these fics, please consider leaving kudos and comments for the authors!
We’re Still Here by hellmandraws
Not fic, but a fan comic starting with college fiddauthor and going all the way through post-series. So great and really worth a read!
rumination: a guided tour by gesso (1.9k words)
Author’s summary: For all the words, expressions, languages he knows; for all the intelligence, experience -- sometimes it's just easier to show, rather than tell. And maybe that means using the mindscape to just pull up very specific memories in a certain order. Because Stanford Pines would much rather take the most convoluted route possible, especially if that means he can avoid plainly talking about his emotions (past and present). [Unlike the other drabbles in this series, this is not complete, and cuts off kind of abruptly at the end of the draft I have]
This fic is sooo worth a read. Technically a WIP, but don’t let that dissuade you.
Somnus Idigus by Abyssalzones (2k words)
Author’s summary: It's hard to sleep, still, nearly a full year after Bill's defeat. Ford manages to be coaxed to bed by kind words and gentle hands, and wonders just what he did to deserve this kind of understanding. (AKA: Ford has nightmares, keeps trying to put off sleep, Fiddleford manages to lovingly wrangle him to bed.)
Sooo sweet! The exact kind of post-canon snuggly Fiddauthor fic I need in this world!
Intricate Rituals by HazelnutofFortune (1.5k words)
Author’s summary: “Fiddleford,” Ford says. He hates asking for help. 
“Mmm?” Fiddleford asks, looking up, scalpel still raised. 
“ Um, could you show me how to get at that big clump next to the Aorta?” How humiliating. Why did he even ask. Except-
“Well, sure,” Fiddleford sets down the heart and takes Ford’s a little gingerly. My heart is in his hands, Ford thinks. Fuck. 
Extremely cute! A WIP! College Fiddauthor and Ford is soooo smitten.
Jersey Boy by Fordtato (110k words)
Author’s summary: Ford does not want to be at Backupsmore University. He should be in California, at West Coast Tech, showing the world that he's more than a freakish waste of space from Jersey; showing the world that he's more than the scrawny, brainy half of a dynamic duo. He's angry, sure, and he's sure-as-fuck tired of being just one-of-two-Stans.
But who isn't angry right now? The world is in turmoil, they're sending our boys to Vietnam and if it wasn't for this stupid school, Ford would have probably been sucked into the draft himself.
But then he meets Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, and everything is different now.
A slowburny fic that really digs into the historical side of college Fiddauthor. It doesn’t shrink away from the tougher, uglier stuff that being a poor, gay, Jewish college student in the seventies would mean for someone. Features an angry, confused Ford who is having a Hard Time. Also has a whole host of interesting OCs! Also a WIP. This fic takes a turn or two that I really didn’t expect and I’m very excited to see where it goes, as the author is on record saying that they WILL finish it.
if you love me, come clean by Athgalla (105k words)
Author’s summary: This is pretty much just a collection of various moments and possible events throughout Fiddleford and Stanford's relationship that I felt like exploring, starting with their first proper meeting in college on to post-Weirdmageddon events.
Without further ado, on to the tragically star-crossed nerds!
iylmcc spans Ford and Fidds’s first meeting through post-series. It’s so interesting, and so sweet, and has so many wonderful details! Just a great take on their relationship that you deserve to read, dear reader. Treat yourself!
Maybe It’s Not Too Late by GinAndShatteredDreams (main fic is 82k words, whole series is 110k)
Author’s summary of the main fic: Overall: A post-weirdmageddon asexual Fiddauthor fic in which revelations occur, a confession goes awry, some unfinished business reemerges in the form of a raging pterodactyl, and chaos ensues. (vaguely romantic - hugs/hand holding/cuddling/comfort, no kisses - just adding that so I don't disappoint anyone who's hoping for it - or maybe for the sake of people (like me) who sometimes like to read something without ;))
(Edit - No romantic kisses. There's a forehead kiss between family members at one point.)
*It would probably be good to mention that most of this was written before the journal came out and even after, I tried to keep true to the ideas formed before reading it with one exception that is noted later.
So as you can tell, I linked you the whole series. A both super angsty and very sweet fic with wonderful asexual post-series Fiddauthor! I’ve never read anything quite like it, totally check it out.
Romance is Overrated and Living Confusing by 3HobbitsInATrenchcoat (25k words)
Author’s summary: Stanford and Fiddleford started out as college roommates and over the years grew into something more than friends but just to the side of what others would consider a "normal relationship." But honestly, is it really anyone's business what they are as long as they care deeply for each other?
Scenes from Stanford's life as he tries to figure out where he fits in a world built for romance and traditional family dynamics.
This fic is restricted– you need an AO3 account to read it. Also, it’s part of a series, but the other fic is Stan-centric so it’s not a part of this rec list. Aaaand also it’s a WIP. Okay, with that out of the way, this is another Ace!Fiddauthor fic, which you know I’m all about! This fic is more about college and research-aged Fiddauthor, and it’s as delightfully fraught as you could hope. The author also does a cool thing regarding Fiddleford’s time in Oregon, while still keeping it canon-compliant. My hat is off to them.
To Struggle For Dreams And To Hunger For More by Voidfish (8k words)
Author’s summary: “Am I gay?” Ford reads the quiz out loud, before clicking to begin. To his frustration, most of the questions are simply asking him if he has had sex with men (he hasn’t), if he wants to (he isn’t quite sure), or if he ever will (the jury is still out). Nothing defines attraction, no one clarifies if the burn in his stomach is love or gastrointestinal issues, and nothing leaves him feeling any better on the subject.
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Stanford Pines has never loved a woman but, he realizes with a painful jolt, he can’t say with certainty he’s never loved a man.
Aaaaaa I love this fic. I love it sooo much. Post-series and Ford is trying to figure out his sexuality and his feelings for Fidds. Plus a scene where he comes out to Stan! Just a delight.
And Shifty Makes Three by Sarelle (13k words)
Author’s summary: Ford Pines and Fiddleford McGucket deal with the ups and downs of relationships and parenthood in 1970s Oregon. A task not much aided by the fact they have to keep secret the true identity of their shapeshifting alien grub son, from friends, family and the Feds.
Based on WDW's Shiftyverse, can be read as a standalone.
I fucking LOVE this fic!! Aaaaa the little details about Ford and Fidds and their relationship! Their alien son!! This fic is so up my alley it’s bonkers.
queer clan in the middle of the woods by toosolidcuuj (series is 23k words)
Author’s summary of the series: *to the tune of "our house" by madness* queer clan in the middle of the woods, queer clan in the middle of the
Canon-divergent AU in which Stan and Ford make up, adopt an alien, and gradually amass an extended queer family.
This is ALSO a Shifty-adopting fic! With Fiddauthor! This one also has Stan, and focuses a lot on Stan and Ford fixing up their fraternal relationship in addition to the Fiddauthory bits. I haven’t reread it in a hot second but I remember it being very fun but also taking Shifty’s trauma quite seriously, which I thought was interesting and cool to read.
(There's a) Half moon rising in southeastern skies by orphan_account (17k words)
Author’s summary: A series of memories, all compiled in convenient cinema-reel format. It’s all here, folks, the good, the bad, the sexy, the emotionally distressing. Next to nothing left out.
Sad that this fic was orphaned– I love it. It’s in second person, and I’m all about that! Fiddleford looking back at his fractured memories post-series and also reconnecting with Ford. Absolutely wonderful characterization. Author, if you’re out there, I love this fic!! I hope you are happy with it in your heart!!
Syncing Phases by toosolidcuuj (5k words)
Author’s summary: Stan has gone his whole life never imagining he had a twin, let alone an android twin who can shoot cannons out his hands, makes money appear out of thin air, and has a close relationship with a werewolf named Fiddleford McGucket. Even more surprisingly, FORD needs Stan's help erasing a world-ending computer virus. But BILL has allies in many places, leaving the Stans uncertain who they can trust.
WIP. This fic is SUCH a fun and interesting concept!! Only child!Stan, Werewolf!Fidds, Robot!Ford??? Yes, please! A totally unique fic that is so fun to read!
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spectralscathath · 5 days
Text
Tour Guide to the Unexplained- A Gravity Falls Fanfiction
Chapter 1: Pines vs Gnomes
Stan and Ford didn't expect much when getting shipped up to Gravity Falls to stay with estranged family. Not gnomes, not a town full of secrets, and definitely not the Mystery Shack and their lying uncle who runs it. But with Ford's smarts and Stan's punching, there's no mystery they can't solve.
Ao3 Link
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Stan didn't know what he expected of the old guy Shermie called their Grunkle Dipper, but it wasn't what they got. Ford closed the door to their new attic bedroom as Stan stood in the middle of the room, looking between the two beds. Not bunk beds. Nothing like home. 
The silence was thick, so Stan broke it with a laugh. "What a load a' hokey, whaddaya think, Sixer?"
He expected Ford to start laughing and making fun of all those stupid 'exhibits' in the tourist trap their grunkle called the Mystery Shack. Fake cursed stuff, fake monsters, and fake ghosts. Fake and fake and fake.
Ford wasn't laughing. He stomped past Stan and threw his backpack and duffel bag at one of the beds, immediately claiming the left side of the room for himself. 
Stan picked anxiously at the edge of his wrist brace, unsure what to do with himself as he stood in the middle of the room. "Sixer?"
" What , Stan?" Ford snapped, already climbing onto his bed and emptying out his stuff with less care than usual.
"Is this 'cuz I called it hokey? I know you like this stuff, Ford, but that's all definitely fake down there-"
"I hate it." Ford growled out, gripping his typewriter as he pulled it out of his backpack. Dad was never able to pawn it, so it became last year's birthday present. 
"You hate it?" 
"Yes! There's actual real anomalies and stuff out there- we saw the Jersey Devil for cryin' out loud- and he's making a big stupid joke outta it!" Ford's face went red with anger, six-fingered hands shaking. "Outta freaks!"
Stan got the jolt that he needed to move, scrambling up onto Ford's bed with him and shoving his shoulder against his twin's. "Kay then, let's go kick his butt about it."
"Stan!" Ford instantly looked stricken. "We can't do that!"
"Why not?" Stan punched his fist into his palm and winced at the twinge of pain in his bones. "He's made you feel bad so he gets the left hook. Them's the rules."
"He's an adult."
"Adult, schmadult-" Stan waved off. "Screw that-"
"And mom said you can't punch anyone for another week until you get the brace off."
"Then I'll kick him! Ka-pow!" Stan kicked his feet out in demonstration of his awesome fighting moves and Ford snorted, giving him a small shove. 
"He's twice your size, knucklehead."
"So we'll team up," Stan shoved him back. "Kings of New Jersey, right?"
"Kings of New Jersey," Ford repeated, already looking less mad. Sad. Smad. "We still can't fight an adult though."
"Sure we can! I'll trip him and you jump on his head when he's down-"
"Stanley," Ford rolled his eyes, but he was smiling, so that was a plus. That was Stan's job. They only ever had each other, and they only ever would, because neither of them would ever have any friends, but that didn't matter, and this was why. Things were always better when you had a twin to have your back. 
"Okay, okay. But he can't make us work here. He's got that cashier and that handyman guy, and he has to run tours, so we can just run off in the woods. It'll be fun, let's find Bigfoot."
"Do you think he'd be out here?" Ford's eyes lit up and he scrambled for his notepad and pencil, already scribbling a vague map of the area from his recollection of the trip from the bus stop, probably. Ford's brain was so cool, he had to be the smartest person in the history of ever. 
"Sure, it's forest-y." That was his thing, right?
"Then let's find Bigfoot." Ford grinned and hopped off the bed, flicking the collar of his jacket up like he was an adventurer. A real one, not the fake kind Grunkle Dipper dressed up as. 
"Bigfoot!" Stan jumped off and threw his fists in the air. "Let's go!"
"C'mon, Stanley, you gotta wear a jacket."
"Nah, sleeves are for nerds."
"Hey!" Ford punched his arm, grinning bright. "Don't call me a nerd, goober."
"Don't call me a goober, nerd!"Stan punched him back and ran out the door, past their grunkle's bedroom with its big 'no kids allowed' sign, and down the stairs, taking a big jump over the last two, nearly crashing into Dipper at the bottom.
"Whoa-" Dipper darted back, holding something behind his back. He was still dressed like some Indiana Jones rip-off, like he should be diving into old cities for gold but here he was, running a tourist trap. "You're in a rush, what's going on?"
"We're Bigfoot hunting!" Stan blurted out.
"Can it, Stan!" Ford ran down to join him and slapped a hand over his mouth. "We're gonna go exploring- EW, STANLEY!" He ripped his hand away as Stan finished licking his hand. 
Dipper stared at them before shrugging. "Yeah, I was the same at your age. Just don't go too far, alright? Oh- and hang up these signs, while you're out there." He pulled out a hammer and signs from behind his back and tossed them down. 
"What?" Stanley stuck out his tongue even as he caught the hammer, Ford fumbling the signs as they clattered on the carpet. Heh, and mom thought Stan needed to wear glasses more. Lame. "But we're exploring."
"Explorers have to mark their trail, don't they?" Dipper grinned and struck a pose, tipping his hat. "As this town's resident monster hunter, paranormal investigator, and Tour Guide to the Unexplained-" if Ford didn't hate it, Stan woulda applauded the showmanship- "I'd know."
Ford bent down to pick up the signs, grumbling under his breath. Dipper didn't hear, but Stan did. 'Faker' was accurate. 
Stan spoke over him to prevent either from getting in trouble. "We'll hang up the dumb signs."
"Yep." Dipper patted them both on the head as he walked by. Stanley tried to scrub his hair clean of the touch. What was that for? "Don't get too disappointed if you don't see Bigfoot today, alright? Gravity Falls is a pretty sleepy town. Be back by dinner!"
"We will!" Stan only lied a little, following Ford out through the gift shop, past Carla reading a music magazine behind the register, past Boyish Dan lifting boxes out of Dipper's beat-up old pick-up truck, the faded blue paint chipped and dented, and past the attached shed where Waddles Jr. took pictures with tourists.
Ford stopped at the edge of the trees, the signs gathered in his arms before he handed them to Stanley. "We'll show him. Let's find that Bigfoot."
"Yeah! Let's show this place how we do things in Jersey!"
#
Gnome bites really hurt. Were they venomous? Surely not, but maybe he should test their wounds for toxins? Even if there wasn't venom, there could be bacteria! Who knew what gnomes ate- and Ford bet they didn't even brush their teeth. "What if we get some magic gnome disease?"
"Uh- soup, I guess?" Stanley carried most of Ford's weight as they limped out of the woods, covered in twigs and dirt and a lot of scratches. "Mom always makes soup when we get sick."
"Yeah. Soup is a primitive but effective cure for ailments." But it wouldn't be Mom's soup out here. "Where did you even get that switchblade?" And how did Ford not know about it? Tying a knife to a possum was one thing when they were nine- but Stanley had a switchblade and Ford didn't know about it.
"Nicked it when we were packing." Stanley shrugged as if that wasn't the scariest thing Ford had heard and they just stumbled on gnomes making abduction plans. Didn't Stanley remember getting grounded for a whole summer? 
"But, Dad'll be so mad-" 
 "Dad won't notice." Right, with the renovations. With all the asbestos and lead paint the city was making him get rid of, a single switchblade might not be missed. He could see Stanley's logic, but he still wasn't sure. And it didn't answer his real question anyway.
"So… why did you take it?" 
"I dunno- in case of mountain lions? Or bears? Maybe there's wolves out here!" Stan grinned, a gap in his teeth. "And definitely for scaring gnomes. Did you see that guy's face?"
"Yeah," Ford laughed because it seemed like the right response, still uneasy. "I'm glad they didn't chase us too far. I wish we could have caught one though, just to show Dipper."
"Let's go do that tomorrow. They look pretty small, and pretty stupid, so you should figure out a trap easy." Stan gave him a friendly squeeze. They didn't hug so much anymore, Ford missed it. All part of growing up though, that's what this trip was about. Toughening up and becoming real men, dad said. Learning how to pull their weight instead of letting other people carry it. Speaking of-
"I think I can walk now." Ford pulled away and tested his foot. Still hurt a bit, but felt better. "Thanks, Stan."
"Hey, that's what I'm for, Poindexter," Stan grinned and reached into the back of his jeans. "And look! We didn't lose Grunkle Dipper's hammer either!"
"Yeah, and we found this too." Ford smiled and reached into his jacket, pulling out the diary they'd found. It was definitely a girl's diary, neon purple and covered in sparkles and puffy stickers that were peeling off and a painted-on shooting star that trailed rainbows. The big number 3 inside the star was what really held his attention. Were there other diaries? The writer's name was missing, and the pages stopped halfway through, and the scratch-and-sniff stickers on each page had lost their sniff, and the entries grew increasingly paranoid. He wondered where the writer was now. Were they the ones who left all those scratches on every tree around the Shack?
There were so many questions. He had to know more.
"Do you think that diary's right about 'Gravity Falls having a secret hidden dark side'?" Stan did a pitch perfect impression of Ford, spinning the hammer his hand and nearly dropping it on his sneakers.
"It was right about gnomes in the forest," Ford shrugged, flipping through. Some of the illustrations were wacky and cartoony, some were more realistic, some had googly eyes glued on, and all of them were the coolest things he'd ever seen. He liked the stickers too, some of them were cute, but he couldn't admit that. Stickers and cute things were for girls. 
"Are you gonna show Grunkle Dipper?" 
Ford hesitated, an inexplicable feeling of being watched settling right between his shoulders. He turned around, looking at the forest behind them and didn't see anything. 
Waddles Jr. oinked loudly from his pen, making Ford jump and Stanley laugh at him. Stupid pig. Why did Grunkle Dipper even have a pig? It was so big too, he thought pigs were supposed to be smaller.
No. He didn't want to tell Grunkle Dipper. Dipper wouldn't understand, he'd just use it to make more fake anomalies. He wouldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe Ford. He might even laugh at him for carrying around such a girly-looking book.
Ford put the diary back into his jacket and looked at Stan. "I don't want to tell him."
"Cool, super twin secret." Stan agreed immediately, holding up his braced hand. "High six?"
"High six," Ford smiled and gently tapped his palm against Stanley's, careful not to aggravate his healing wrist. Stan said it was a boxer's fracture, and he complained about it hurting after a boxing lesson, so it had to be. Stan was a good liar, way better than Ford ever could be, but after the Jersey Devil incident, he'd agreed to never lie to Ford again. 
The bell jingled as they entered the Mystery Shack, closed for the day and devoid of suckers for their Grunkle to swindle, Carla the cashier and Boyish Dan the handyman already gone home for the day. Just them and their Grunkle, the conman.
"Wow. What happened? You two look like you got in a fight with a- a wolverine? Or something?" Dipper stood up from where he sat behind the counter, his hat hanging over the register. Ford hadn't noticed the little tree pin on the hat's band before. 
"You should see the other guy." Stan slapped the hammer on the counter, following Ford towards the house section of the place. Ford didn't want to talk to their Grunkle, he just wanted to check his gnome bites and read the diary until his eyes fell out. 
"Uh- hey!" Dipper called after him, and they both stopped. Dad made sure they had manners, after all. Dipper cleared his throat, tapping his pen against his chin. "Listen- I know this was last minute, but I want you two to have a good summer. Tell you what: you can both pick something from the gift shop as a welcome present, on the house."
"Really?" Did he think he could bribe them into liking him?
"What's the catch?" Stan asked, instantly suspicious. Dad would never allow that. The only way he ever gave stock to them was as a birthday gift if he hadn't been able to sell it and didn't think anyone would ever buy it. They didn't get very many birthday gifts from him. Ford's typewriter had been the first in two years. 
"No take-backsies?" Dipper chewed the top of the pen- gross- and shrugged. "No swaps, how about it?"
"Deal!" Stan nodded and dove into the aisles, Ford following behind at a sedate pace. Just one thing? But there was so much choice, so much stuff that was weird for a gift shop to have. He could see socks, bookmarks, mystery gift bags, survival kits, all sorts of gemstones and crystals, weird runestones, keychains, power tools, snow globes, Waddles Jr. bobbleheads, question mark headbands, bottles of formaldehyde, fake cyclops skulls, baseball hats, postcards, toys, t-shirts, salt and pepper shakers, jars of fake body parts…
He stopped in front of the grappling hook box and stared at what was in the next basket, 'world's strongest magnets!!' emblazoned on the packaging. Seeing the two next to each other was like a localised lightning strike of inspiration, his brain sparking with an idea, a need to create. Not the grappling hook- too unsafe- but the general shape…
"Can I have these magnets?" He grabbed them and held them up to show Dipper. 
"That's a good choice," Dipper leaned over the counter to see. "Just don't aim them at your fillings and you should be fine."
"We don't have fillings." They were still losing all their milk teeth, after all. Dad said they wouldn't need to waste money on dentists until they had teeth worth losing. It was factually incorrect, but their father was not a man to argue with.
"Then you're good to go." Dipper smiled at him as Stan ran out from the aisles. "Whatcha got there, Stan?"
"Smoke bomb kit!" Stan yelled excitedly.
"Not like- brass knuckles?" Ford blinked in confusion. There were probably some for sale in this place. Stan was good at punching. 
"I'm gonna make smoke bombs!"
"Have fun with those." Dipper popped on his hat. "I'm gonna feed Waddles Jr., be ready for dinner in ten."
There was a moment where Ford wanted to tell him everything, that the gnomes were just outside the treeline, that they got into a big fight with a whole colony of them after Stan fell into their cave and saw them practicing their human disguise, that they got away with just a few bites and scratches. 
Ford wanted to tell Dipper that the supernatural was real, the anomalies he sold to tourists as a hoax were real , but all he had to go on were some bitemarks and the diary of a mad artist. 
And Dipper would probably just blame squirrels for the bitemarks. Just like everyone else always blamed clumsiness for everything else. 
No. Ford couldn't trust Grunkle Dipper, who only Shermie spoke fondly of and no one else in the family had seen or talked about in years. Grunkle Dipper wasn't someone he could trust. No one was.
Except Stan. 
Ford tucked his magnets next to the diary and ran upstairs to join his twin, head spinning with a million questions and a deep, burning surety that he could find the answers himself.
#
Dipper waited for all the lights to go out before he slipped out of the Mystery Shack, a denim jacket thrown over his pajamas as his boots crunched on the dirt, vanishing into the woods under the full moon. 
He hopped down into the gnome caverns, the moss springy under his feet. "Hey, you gnomes! I wanna talk to whoever's in charge!"
Gnomes popped out of every crevice- he nodded once in respect at Schmebulock, who nodded back- and one of them pushed through the gathering crowd until he stood on a rock that put him just at Dipper's knee height. 
"Well- since the old queen got eaten by a badger and we're looking for a new one, I'm currently the one giving orders." He flicked his suspenders with a smile that Dipper wanted to punt. "Name's Jeff. And you're-?"
Dipper lifted his bangs in answer, watching the gnome horde start chattering nervously amongst themselves. Yeah. He wasn't thrilled about his reputation with the secret side of Gravity Falls either. Still- it could be useful. 
"There were two human kids today." Dipper dropped his hair and crossed his arms, cutting in before Jeff could start talking more. "I want everyone in the forest to know not to hurt them. They're my nephews."
"Well- they caused some trouble in our territory, so you see, we had to-"
"No. Don't care, not interested." Dipper reached into his jacket and pulled out his flashlight, brandishing it like a weapon at Jeff, the crystal attached set to 'shrink'.
"Now hold on-"
"Tell everyone in the forest: no one messes with the Pines twins. Or else I start showing real attractions again." Which would tank his profits unless he picked very carefully, and would be more trouble than it was worth, but the forest didn't need to know that.
"No- no, we're all fine and dandy with how things are!" Jeff laughed nervously, waving his hands. "Alright, gnomes! You heard this guy, no one kills the new kids! Someone go tell the manotaurs!"
"You do that." Dipper started walking towards the exit, throwing out one more suggestion for the road. "And don't kidnap anyone this summer, alright? It's seriously messed up when you do that."
Stepping out of the gnome cavern had him drawing his jacket tighter and doing up a few buttons to ward off the feeling of being watched. He could hear the faint rustling behind him of a hundred gnomes rushing off in every direction, the wind catching in the pine needles, and it sounded like an echo, laughter in the back of his head. 
He left the trees and returned to the Shack, past Waddles Jr., and into the gift shop. The boys were- well, a setback, but one he could work around. He just had to keep them alive for the summer and send them home in one piece. Why did he even agree to this? Didn't matter, he did, just had to work with it now.
The vending machine slid open with a hiss. Just one small setback. Mabel would understand. She just had to wait a little longer.
He wasn't going to let the rest of the family ruin things.
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belle--ofthebrawl · 10 months
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I am so invested in your posts about Mountain and his pack of moms.
Does Mountain turn into a big kit whenever he visits them? Like a college kid who goes back home to his family during holidays.
- @ghouletteanon
(I did exactly two Google searches and these are the names for the previous drummers I found. I went with Terra over Gamma for obvious elemental reasons. I think there's three total? My inbox and DMs are open to any and all earth ghoul stans who know more than I do.)
Nothing terrible under the cut except the horror of knowing your parental figures have sex.
He knows Pebble's aware as soon as he sets foot into the deeper woods. The trees and mycelium networks are her eyes and ears, leaves rustling with wind-carried words to wherever she is. Not a single twig in this forest snaps without her knowing about it, which would give anyone else an incredible headache but Pebble seems to like it just fine.
And sure enough, he doesn't get but a yard or so before she appears. Sitting on an ancient log like she's been there the whole time waiting for him to pass by, even though he knew he'd been alone just moments ago.
She's all criss-crossed up from her arms to her legs, still as a statue as she watches him approach with his picnic basket. He doesn't say anything; he knows this routine well enough by now. Pebble can get odd, when left to her own devices for too long. The others are usually good at bringing her back to herself though.
Food helps too. Not the food she can scavenge from the forest like berries and mushrooms and prey animals eaten raw. Food that's been altered, baked, cooked. He lifts the cloth of the picnic basket and lets the warm smell of fresh bread waft out. Her nostrils flair and she stands up, quick as a wink. With one quick nod, she's off; darting through the undergrowth like a fox. It's on him to keep up, but he knows she'll come back for him if he lays behind too far. She'll get impatient but she'll always come back.
The path is different every time he visits. Some trick of Terra's to keep strangers out if they aren't guided in but he doesn't mind. He knows how much they value privacy and the time it takes to get to the destination is never too long. The undergrowth thins out, the trees grow further and further apart until they're in Ivy's garden with Ivy herself bending over to tug up a bundle of root vegetables. Pebble licks her fingertips as she walks over, delivering a loud and resounding smack to Ivy's rear end that Mountain glances away to avoid seeing barely in the nick of time.
"Pebble!" Ivy shouts, shooting up straight and cuffing the small menace in return. "Just once, a hello would be nice to hear instead of-"
"Hello." Mountain calls, walking between the rows to her with a wave. She turns around again and her happiness is so infectious that nearby plants immediately start flowering in response. Pebble takes the opportunity to dart into the little home that's been carved into the earth, set into the base of gentle slope covered in soft green grass.
"Mountain!" She cries, dropping her harvest into the dirt and leaping over the plants to catch him up in a bear hug. "Oh, I was just thinking about you! Terra was saying you were all back from tour, so of course we've been expecting you but honestly not so soon and-"
"Let that boy breathe." Comes a deeper voice from the doorway of the little home. Mountain straightens up automatically, brushing a few fly aways out of her face as Terra easily lopes over with her cane. She stops a few feet away, looks over him with a critical eye and he's acutely aware of every wrinkle and stain in his clothes, the way his right boot's come untied and how the flannel he has on now was definitely hers once upon a time.
"Suppose we'll have to take you as you are then." Terra says, a telling twinkle in her eye though her face remains firm. "What'd you bring us this time?"
"Harvest bread." He says, finally handing over the picnic basket. "Gooseberry and raspberry jam. Two kinds of cheese. Wine and whiskey and weed."
"Good stuff." Ivy says in approval.
"We'll see." Terra says. Then, "Pebble, don't you dare."
Pebble slinks out from behind Terra, hands raised in innocence even as her tail whips back. It's caught just in time by Terra's own tail, wrangled into submission as Mountain pretends to be thoroughly engrossed by his feet. He's not a prude, far from it but it just feels awkward to watch the ones who helped him with his first moments Topside be...like that.
"Welcome back." Terra says fondly after Pebble yanks her tail away and stomps off to set the table. Ivy picks up her vegetables again and goes to put her gardening tools away. "Tell us where you've been this whole time."
"All over." Mountain begins. And, like he always does, hits his head on the doorframe on the way in.
Some things never change.
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hwaightme · 2 years
Text
Your fan, San (part 1)
(part 2) (your fan ml)
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💬 pairing: san x interpreter!reader 💬 genre: romance, fluff, mutual pining 💬 summary: a bulletpoint-style wordstream of what it would be like if san was stanning you 💬 wordcount: 5.3k 💬 warnings/tags: language, simping, hopeless romantic, linguistics, interpreter/translator reader, duo bird terrors, ateez wingman alliance, concerts, public speaking, job stress, slow burn, falling in love hard and fast 💬 taglist: @acciocriativity, @senpai-of-doom, @layzfeelit @jcngh0-hq @black--awsum @honey-lemon-goose @i-luvsang @jackinmyarea💬 a/n: Hello there <3 we all know the standard languages, but how will Choi San, our next Fan in the series, go about learning the language of love? Let's find out! Thank you so much for your love and support, biggest hugs and stay tuned <3<3<3
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ATINY were overwhelmingly supportive when San spoke a foreign language.
But he disliked it.
Because it meant that you had to stop.
And San loved nothing more than to see you gaze at him, fully focused, professional, and practically reading his mind as you translated his words at record speed.
Well you did that for every single member of ATEEZ, but that was besides the point. His focus was always on you.
You reminded him of a river. Gentle in your appearance and demeanour. At the same time, you possessed a unique turbulence, you could stand strong and proud, a fire in your eyes - the embodiment of passion as you spoke.
But exclusively if you felt the moment called for it. You were always transforming. Fluid. You were an ever-changing season. An unstoppable current. San wholly believed you had the power to see right through people because of how well you captured their sentiment.
San had always valued communication, and wanted to be on the same page as anyone he talked to. But unfortunately, that meant spending long hours hunched over books and staring at a demonic green owl on his phone.
In the early days of his career, that had been enough, but as the fanbase grew larger and more international, the pressure he had begun to feel when it came to simply talking and delivering a message was unprecedented.
He was not able to joke around, not able to say exactly what he wanted, and more often than not gave up and said something easier. But the passion was still there. Very much alive. So, San kept at it. Trying not to make Duo sad.
Of course, he was well aware that no matter how hard he tried, he and the rest of the members would not be able to become perfectly fluent by the next promotions and world tour, so having an interpreter on board was a must. This was so that they could focus on connecting with the audience on a much deeper level, so they would not be hindered either by vocabulary or by worry (even if they could explain themselves well).
Hence why it had not come as a surprise that the selection process for an interpreter, according to some staff San was friendly with, had been immensely difficult. So much so that apparently, a high percentage had quit before even making it close to the final rounds, and then those in the last selection stage had to risk facing humiliation, the test being interpreting at a live, high stress event.
And then, with only a few days before ATEEZ were meant to depart to Japan, they had received the news that an interpreter had been picked out. Prior to the concerts, you had barely interacted - only a couple of waves here and there. San noticed that you were on the quieter side, an avid reader, and had a habit of making notes on your phone.
He had initially assumed you were always texting someone, but after curiosity got the better of him and he had decided to at least become acquaintances, he was shown the insanity that was literary Japanese, reviews of honorifics and formal speech, colloquial phrases and translation of slang. You had even gone so far as to create your own guide for finding local analogies to different mythological or popular media references.
That was strike one.
Every single concert you were adaptive, and attentive to ATEEZ. You had even begun to check in on them prior to know what emotional landscape they wanted to deliver. You knew the setlist off by heart, had memorised the pauses between songs and when the members were to have live interactions with the audience that would require your participation.
When in your role, your demeanour changed entirely. Your voice was level, pronunciation like that of a native, and well measured out. San swore even he had begun learning Japanese passively simply because it was so easy to understand you.
Then, after the concerts were done, you did not take any compliments, merely smiling them off, instead being proud of everyone around you. You thanked the sound engineers, the technical staff, the security... anyone who you had the chance to thank, you did. It was a given that you congratulated ATEEZ after their performances, commending them for their hard work. When San had attempted to return the praises, he was met with that same bashful grin, and you explaining that you were merely extending their hearts out to the audience.
That was strike two.
And finally, there was the last concert. Sold out, with tens of thousands of ATINY, there to spend this amazing time together with the idols. And then, to deliver a surprise gift in the form of an animated video created by a group of dedicated fans who had painstakingly adapted submissions into the style of an animated film. It was a story of how important ATEEZ were to the fans, how they were heroes, how they deserved infinite amounts of love.
Each of the nation's prefectures had been represented, and at the end there was a 'handover' to the rest of the world, sending appreciation to other ATINY who will be meeting ATEEZ next. The majority of the group was tearing up, and while delivering their speeches, struggled to control their emotions. Each phrase was a cry from the soul, and San was not sure how it was possible to translate something like this.
And yet, you did. In that mellifluous voice, now holding a tinge of melancholy, you patiently collaborated with each member, listening to them pour themselves out, and pouring yourself out eightfold. Those who were able to understand Korean had already been misty-eyed, but as you included the others, the atmosphere changed completely.
It was a total unity. That complete understanding. The communication that San was always seeking. It did not matter how many people there were in a given place. What mattered, was that you were the key to reaching them all. So, on a whim, instead of letting Hongjoong do the honours like he normally would, he overtook the leader in announcing you. In thanking you for your hard work and for being the link between them and ATINY. Please applaud L/N Y/N, master interpreter.
That was strike three.
San was ready to risk it all, became the president of your growing fan club, and hearing your voice stopped being a want. It became a need.
--
To this day you were confused as to how your life had unfolded. To an extent, it was like you were put on standby and then watched someone who looked just like you go and do cool things with your life.
You had joined KQ Entertainment on a contractual basis to support ATEEZ in the Japan leg of their tour, and technically, were supposed to part ways as soon as it was over. But as luck (or someone else's unfortunate series of events) would have it, due to the incredibly short time between schedules, unexpected illnesses and conflicts, you were offered to join the group in the US as well.
It was an easy decision for you.
Firstly, because you had gotten close enough with the members, since your job was to deliver not only the words, but also their emotional weight.
Secondly, bold of anyone to assume that you had other job offers lying around when most companies had hiring freezes and could not care less for your work experience and skills.
But no one needed to know about that second part.
Instead, you simply agreed, and as such, signed yourself up to way more than you had ever expected.
And what was that exactly? Your own strange version of fame in the form of ATINY calling you the ATEEZ Megaphone, the Voice of Reason, 8 Makes 1 Voice, Miss Worldwide (which officially imprinted the rapper Pitbull into your head), ATEEZmind... among many, many others.
You had become a kind of staple to ATEEZ performances abroad, with fans cheering when you made appearances for the interludes between songs. And the couple of times that you had been asked to be on standby for fan signs, there had been some ATINY who came up to you, as though you were the ninth member of ATEEZ, just to thank you for being there for the fans, for making the connection so much more special, and for working so hard to make ATEEZ global.
Did you cry a bit in your hotel room after that had happened? Yes - what could one say? You were very sentimental, and this kind of softness just did it for you. Also you had made a small plushie, a big-eyed, adorable kitten that an ATINY in the US had given to you, a permanent travel companion.
--
At the very start of your time at KQ, your insecurities had been running high, and you would spend sleepless nights reviewing just what you had translated, convincing yourself that you could have done a better job, writing ceaselessly on receipts, envelopes, in notebooks and in notes on your phone the myriad of alternatives your could conjure only after the event.
You had never thought that after completing your higher education in linguistics you would end up being a moderately high profile interpreter. At best, you had laid out a peaceful, uneventful life as a translator in some publishing house, spending your days in front of a computer and stacks of dictionaries. You imagined yourself to be a theorist, a silent practitioner of the craft rather than an attention-demanding performer.
That was how you had been throughout your early years. Reading. Writing. Speaking when necessary, afraid of saying the wrong thing. It was a vicious cycle. You dedicated yourself to classics, finding tranquility and reassurance in complexity and archaic passages (a stark contrast to the slang and inside jokes that you were now having to process at high speeds).
It was only in later years of university that you started breaking out of your shell, after you and a couple of your peers had been scouted to aid in an international conference. You had agreed since it would be a glorious add-on to your CV, but did not expect for it to take you as far as it had done.
If you had to use an analogy for how you felt, it would be like a surfer who just kept on living through fluke after fluke. The waves that you were being hit with were more and more menacing, approaching tsunami heights, but you were still standing, amazed that you had not been swept under.
Maybe no one was going to stop you, or talk to you on the street, ever, but the sheer thought was enough to throw you through a loop. You were not there to be a persona, nor a star. You were there because you loved languages, for goodness' sake, and had been selected to use that love in a way that helped those who actually wanted to be and were stars to connect with their fans.
Interestingly, from the beginning of your journey, you had found reassurance and comfort in one of the unlikeliest people. And really, it had been him who had ended up making a lot of things in your life just fall into place.
San.
Aside from Hongjoong, who, being the captain, was constantly interacting with all staff even outside of the immediate circle, San had been the first to take an interest in what you were doing, and why you were loitering around the corridors backstage, eyes glued to your phone.
You had at first assumed that he was going to scold you, having seen a couple of live shows where he was more than displeased about fellow members not paying their full attentions thanks (or no thanks) to the mobile phones in their hands.
But the look of genuine curiosity in his eyes quickly cleared up your concerns, and when he had begun to ask questions... you had gone on a roll. Conclusion: if someone were to ask you about linguistics, they better prepare themselves for a TEDx Talk because you were not going to serve them any less.
Although you had tried to convince yourself all throughout your higher education and work life that you did not need validation, the passionate encouragement that San had given you that day was a big driving force for you to try even harder for the Japan concerts. And even to you, your own biggest critic, the change had been noticeable. And nothing short of exhilarating.
By the last concert in the country, you were excited to step on the side of the stage. You wanted to speak to ATINY, you wanted to share the beautiful words ATEEZ were sending their way, with them. It was your duty and your desire. And it is a commonly known fact that a job that is loved, is a job that turns into fun.
It was that exact concert that had become your 'break'. Right at the end, when everyone was saying their goodbyes, San decided to give you a special mention, to which the lighting team had responded by, quite literally, putting the spotlight on you.
Over thirty thousand people in the arena, and even more online, now knew who the woman behind the voice was. They knew who was, effectively, dubbing their favourite K-Pop group.
The shoutout had been entirely unexpected, sure, and it had made your confidence crumble a little as you struggled to find the right words to both thank San and translate what was happening. It felt like two conflicting signals were entering your brain at the same time.
But at the same time, it made you feel real. It made you feel like you really had been speaking. And that you had been heard. The beauty and the curse about language, was that it was a tool to connect. Even in written form. It's perception and appreciation could only be achieved if there was a person to do it. And in spoken form, seeing the nods, hearing the sighs, any reactions from another, that was the way you knew you had done your job.
So instead of cowering away, like you would have done only a couple of years ago, you stepped into the light, in front of the audience. You thanked them from the bottom of your heart, bowing, and then, turned to do the same to ATEEZ, with perfect grace, and honest appreciation. The photographs of you had rapidly made rounds around the internet, and the hashtag #thankyouYN had climbed up in trending on Twitter for a short while.
It was odd to think that you felt at home in the environment that you had been afraid of, and that people praised you for what you had been insecure about all your life. At the same time, you did not want to be a star, and even when ATINY sent you messages, or cheered for you, you kindly tried to switch the attention back to ATEEZ. You were there because you loved languages, and had been selected to use that love in a way that helped connect the real shining, talented and hard-working stars with the loyal, brilliant and kind fans.
If your short progression from a nervous new hire to a fully-fledged interpreter with a tour under your belt were to be simplified, one could say that San had been a catalyst for your opening up. Thus, he might have been the reason why you had been made a permanent member of staff.
it was only so far that luck could carry you, and without having the skill and dedication to your name, KQ had the power to dismiss you with a click of a finger. There were undoubtedly thousands of talented interpreters out there, who would have dropped everything to go to the US and beyond. But KQ had settled for you. And you wanted to do your best to do everything in your power to make ATEEZ perfectly international.
And just like that, a whirlwind of a world tour had passed, and you, plushie in hand, and heavy luggage rolling behind you, were on your way home to an apartment that probably forgot that it even had an owner (who - shocker - still had to pay rent even when continents away). You were told that you were to have a 'bit of a break' since the group was to firstly rest, and secondly focus on local promotions for the next couple of months.
What did that mean for you? It was time to become a social recluse and freelance some translations. Another side benefit that had come from your increase in popularity was that you had come to get more commissions both through your independent channels, and through company requests.
It was easy enough to plough through the standard documents that publishing houses sent you, the only difficulty being if say, you had been translating from Korean to Japanese for hours on end, and then your next project asked you to translate English to Spanish, you would need a moment to rewire a bit. But at the same time that was the fun bit - keeping up fluency to a top-level professional standard in as many languages as you could.
What was a little less easy, but had grown to be your guilty pleasure, was the private commissions you received. Of course, you had your set of rules, limitations, restrictions - whatever one wanted to call it, but undoubtedly, the individual was more creative than the corporation. You had received requests to translate long paragraphs of breakup texts, fan fiction - though you did have to put an end to that era since you had begun to receive... interesting ATEEZ content, love poems, dark poems, essays... if it was written, you had probably received it at least once.
Since starting this little side adventure, you had been quite selective, as this was still a portfolio of your work, and you needed to keep a good image. So you were no stranger to dismissing orders if they did not sit right with you.
This was exactly what you were doing, early morning upon your return. The sun was streaming into your bedroom as you were sat at your desk, clicking and typing away response after response, deletion after deletion... until one particular request had caught your eye.
It had been sent at an odd time of night, but who were you to judge - you had not even slept yet. The writing felt familiar, friendly, open. The greeting and explanation were all respectful, and they had even commented on some of the work you had previously done.
They were also honest about how they had discovered you - they were a dedicated ATINY, and a big reader, so when they found out who the skilled Korean to Japanese interpreter for ATEEZ was, they really wanted to get to know your work better. And after doing so, felt it only right to request your services.
You were flattered, and after looking through the file they had sent - which turned out to be an excerpt from a very recently published Korean book that had not been translated to any language yet, you agreed to help. With a smile on your face, you sent back an email accepting the order, adding a reminder of expected timescales and fees.
--
"OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS IT IS HAPPENING IT IS HAPPENING IT IS HAPPENING SHE RESPONDED AND SHE ACCEPTED AAAAAAH"
San yelled at the top of his voice, nearly approaching Wooyoung's witch laugh register. Seonghwa, who had made the mistake of sitting right next to him rapidly covered his ears and winced as the action did not help - the man took him by the shoulder and started shaking him excitedly, while rereading the standard business email from you as though it was a Nobel laureate's magnum opus.
With the hoots of support from the rest of the members, they were sure to have scared off any form of wilderness and other visitors in the vicinity - since they had a few days off, on a whim they decided to get out of the dorms and enjoy nature by going on a camping trip.
Though this action seemed to result only in higher phone use than usual, particularly from San, who had reached his breaking point when it came to you.
It was obvious from the start that he was not indifferent towards you. From the quick glances in your direction, to the efforts that he had made in secret to try and improve both his English and Japanese (to the point of changing language settings on his devices and getting some novels and textbooks in the respective languages), he was always paying attention to what you were doing.
During concerts, when he knew you were out there on the stage, ready and in place before a talking segment, he would perform with even more vigour, sending the cameras his most alluring glances. He knew you would be looking at the screens, and he wanted you to focus on him.
And then there was his new role as president of the interpreter fan club. This was an inside joke floating around the fandom, becoming more popular when during a concert in the US, he had decided to jokingly test you by saying pickup lines he had learned in different languages. Everyone had taken it to be 'classic San being playful', but his intention was to just shamelessly flirt with you.
But he was the one who had ended up being flustered as you translated all that he said without your eyes leaving him a single time, a hint of a smirk on your face. It was almost like you were saying it all right back to him. Only him. He hoped that were the case.
If he were to be any more obvious, Hongjoong personally would make a public service announcement about San being all up in his feelings for you. He had busted through the wall of being just a fan like a monster truck, and was already a few months deep in the infatuation phase.
"Who's the simp now, huh?" Hongjoong could not resist taking a jab at the younger member, out of respect for the nerve cells he had lost.
The only downside was that San was not even denying it, nor fighting against the label. Instead he just kept on showing those near him the fact that he had an email from you, and in the future he would have a translation, done just for him, by you. And what fun was it if the person you were trying to roast had no verbal ammo at the ready?
"At least it's not bath water he is buying..." Seonghwa whispered, still unable to fully recover from the shake-up and massaging his now sore shoulder.
"We couldn't find it, that's next on the list." Wooyoung picked up on the retort. He approached San and patted him on the back, "Isn't that right?"
"Oh fuck off... but for real this is so cool. She is going to be doing what she loves, and doing it for me~" in a sing-song voice, he recounted, again, the battle plan that he and the rest of ATEEZ had conjured.
"See? I told you it would be a good idea." Yunho commented proudly, while climbing out of his tent. Mingi followed suit, though he did not get out fully, instead choosing to sit right at the entrance and applaud himself from there:
"And look at me go with that perfect book choice."
It had been a very spontaneous decision to pick it, but he did not have to market it as such. Since he was the one to actually go into book stores at least sometimes, the members trusted him well enough to go with what he proposed.
"Well executed, lads. Mission successful, we are levelling up." Wooyoung clapped his hands and gave a quick salute, while San was still in his own reality.
A rare silence fell upon the group. But, just as they were about to move on, with some of the members being on 'response-crafting duty', Yeosang, after much pondering, stated:
"Senpai is finally noticing you after like... a year," which finally snapped San out of his enchantment.
"HEY it's only been like... nine months... and a bit... that isn't a year!" he tried to sound convincing, but it just came out as desperate. At least he stopped himself from saying the exact number of weeks and days since he had first met you.
"Yeah, yeah, keep saying that."
"This is exactly why we are doing operation 'Love Language'." to come to the smitten one's defense, Yunho piped in, now having managed to wedge himself between San and Seonghwa, the latter mouthing him a 'thank you' with a pained smile.
"I thought it was because we are sick and tired of his shit?" Jongho asked monotonously, head perched on his hand while he had at the far end of the picnic table ATEEZ had expropriated.
"That too! But-"
"And that if he goes any harder on stage he'll turn into Magic Mike?" Yeosang took Jongho's side in a split second, them exchanging a knowing look of comrades in misery.
"Careful, ATINY might ask for that."
The captain attempted to get the discussion back on at least some kind of track, while being well aware that this group had a special talent in de-railing. And his comment did not help a single bit, instead provoking Wooyoung.
"They already do, ever been online?"
"I have, and it's either cursed conspiracy theories about our lore or thirst edits." Hongjoong pinched the bridge of his nose, getting flashbacks to an impossibly long Twitter thread that he spent half an hour of his life on, just to confirm that at this point, him and CEO Kim Gyu Uk were alone in big-braining the universe.
"I bet you watch demon line edits Joongie-" Wooyoung winked at him, and sent some finger guns.
"Right this is OFF TOPIC!" the captain attempted to rein the kids in, albeit half-heartedly.
"There's a topic?" Yeosang leaned over to Jongho and asked him, not expecting a response, since it was obviously 'no'.
"Yeah, and it is that Y/N and San are going to be in closer contact now." Wooyoung addressed the group, stretching his hands out, every bit a narrator on stage.
"But isn't it more like: Y/N being in contact with San who is parading as an ATINY with an interesting taste in books?" Mingi raised an eyebrow and questioned.
"Tom-ay-to tom-ah-to, whatever. At least they're going to be talking more personally."
"And not in front of my fuckin' salad," the maknae asserted, "I am seriously surprised she has not caught on that you are trying to pull moves all this time."
"Maybe... just maybe... I have a sneaking suspicion... that it could be the million-person audience that does it. Really sets a romantic, and intimate mood." Seonghwa added, words dripping with irony.
"Well, you guys, there isn't much that I can really do about that, can I? This is what our jobs and lifestyles are."
With an exasperated sigh, San shut off his phone and slumped down on the bench, just nearly missing Yunho. He cupped his head in his hands, and gazed off, wistfully, into the distance. As of late, when he was not practicing or performing, he would be be daydreaming, just like this.
"Maybe you could just forget that and... ask her out?" Hongjoong verbally knocked San back into the ring,
"SAYS WHO? My man, do you want me to remind you of a couple of things?"
"Yeah, please do, and I will remind you of your shamelessness and the death wish you apparently still have."
"Gents, gents! We still have a 'thank you' email to write, we need at least one brain cell for that."
Yunho's call for action ended up being the most effective of all, as the group gathered around San, and commenced shouting over one another in an attempt to write a single coherent line acknowledging that the information has been received, and that they will be paying half the fee shortly.
Why had the call been effective? Because San managed to do the impossible. He managed to drive his fellow members up the wall with his pining to the point where they could not take it anymore, and made it their mission to save San.
It was Y/N this, Y/N that. All. The. Time.
"Y/N taught me some English slang the other day, do you want to hear?"
"Did you know that Y/N co-translated this bestseller?"
"Have you heard her speaking in French? I am out here only knowing 'Paris Baguette' and she is like a native - while saying that she barely knows it."
"Did you see how she looked at me after that performance? Told you it was a good idea for me to change the outfit up!"
"Wait I'll be back in five minutes I want to say hi to Y/N!"
Even Wooyoung minimised his teasing, simply because the man was totally gone. There had been a phase for about a month where his affection towards you maybe was within the realm of reasonable, and 'light' enough for the rest of ATEEZ to poke fun at him.
But San being San, that changed fast. The more chances he got to speak with you, the more he got to find out what you liked, the more certain he became that 'you were the one', you were 'talent and skill itself' and you were the dream alive.
At the same time, San being San, he was not verbal about his feelings. Not even a bit. In his mind, that was over-stepping, and was off limits. So he did everything else 'over the top' instead.
The peak of it had of course been the 'putting you on a (well-deserved) pedestal' in front of ATINY. That had been a cry of a man who fell hard and fast in love, and that same night, ATEEZ had hosted a UN-level meeting around how to proceed. Hongjoong had already been aware that you were going to be extended a permanent offer, so timelines did not matter much - except for the remnants of the members' sanity.
Wooyoung ended up interrupting the proceedings with his screech of "IT IS OKAY TO FALL IN LOVE", and as such, the action was let go, only to see it become a much adored trend in the fandom. The members thought that this would mean major progress. But no. No, you had to be the oblivious one.
Had to be the one so dedicated to her job that you interpreted San's signals as general friendliness and support. You respected him, yes. You most definitely were grateful to him, and out of all ATEEZ members you spoke to him the most. But to none of them was it ENOUGH.
Even when he had made you to interpret his flirtations (as prompted by Wooyoung), you took it just as 'a regular day with ATEEZ', whilst making him nearly go into cardiac arrest.
That was when the plan came about. To strike through literature. Through language. To express love through the pages of a book, in the hopes of translating that to real feeling. It was convoluted, and had no real outcome except trusting chance, and fate, but San was enough of a hopeless romantic to agree to it in a heartbeat.
Because what was the fun in confessing over text, right? He had your number, you messaged one another before, but again, 'what if he ruined something by messaging the wrong thing'? Besides, he could not think of an excuse to text you outside of work without feeling like he was being too pushy.
Thus, operation 'Love Language' became everyone's problem, and everyone's daily dose of drama.
Except for you, without a clue, having brewed some tea, sat down like L from Death Note on your chair, and got to work.
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capricornlevi · 6 months
Text
bokuto x reader // sfw, gratuitous fluff, established relationship // wc 1.6k
planning birthdays is just one of bo's many talents <3
an: this is a little birthday present for my favourite bo stan in the entire world @brainrot329 ! she is a ray of sunshine and one of the best people i know and it is an honour to write a bo fic dedicated to this wonderful human !!!
you had never figured bokuto for much of a chef. you've been together for four years, lived together for two, and so you feel you know him pretty well by now -- the man has multitudes of talents, but preparing food is not one of them.
he has no trouble with eating, obviously, since pretty much every team barbeque ends with him being physically dragged away by a teammate or long-suffering coach, begging for someone else to be allowed their pick of the steaks.
but his appreciation for food does not extend to cooking or baking, shopping for ingredients or meal planning. his lack of culinary proficiency is not from any form of uselessness or incompetence -- he's good at pretty much anything he turns his hand to, plus the msby nutrition team supplies most of his meals anyway -- he just doesn't have much of an interest. which is more than fair; nobody can be expected to be good at everything.
but this is also why you find it to be very shocking that today, your birthday, he has offered to prepare you a four-course meal to mark the special occasion.
he had informed you of his plan this morning over pancakes at your favourite diner while you were mid-sip of coffee. as you smiled and expressed gratitude, you had to put in a copious amount of effort to prevent your jaw from dropping open and accidentally spitting coffee everywhere.
again, it's not that he's incapable of achieving this task. he’d likely be very capable should he puts his mind to it, but it's just ... this is his first time cooking. you don't attempt the tour de france before learning how to ride a bike, and you can't imagine that a four-course meal (with accompanying wines, he informs you) is the easiest introduction to the culinary arts.
but he seems certain, and the last thing you want to do is discourage this newfound enthusiasm.
the rest of the day was spent out with friends and family as bo headed home to get everything ready. he didn't give many hints as to what the rest of the evening would entail, but he did say that he knew you'd love it.
(and you will; regardless of the final product, you can see how much effort he's put in. you just hope you won't arrive home to the scent of singed hair and an eyebrow-less bokuto standing forlorn in the kitchen.)
when your college friends took you out for cocktails in the early hours of the evening, you stuck to just two margaritas so as not to take away from the rest of the night. they dropped you back home with gifts in hand and plans to meet up again next week to get your nails done – a strange suggestion since you haven’t gone to the salon as a group in years, but you wave it off. 
now, standing at your doorstep, you take a deep breath before twisting the handle and letting yourself in.
the place smells ... nice. really nice. it's a medley of scents from multiple dishes but they all come together to paint a very positive picture; hints of citrus, the buttery aroma of your favourite pasta sauce, something sweet you vaguely recognise as being your grandmother's french vanilla cake recipe.
suddenly overcome with a sense of awe and burning anticipation, you make a beeline for the kitchen.
you find everything in it to be clean, perfectly presented, except for bokuto himself. he stands by the countertop, spatula in hand, covered with a light dusting of flour and with a scorch mark on his light-blue shirt.
"never promised it'd go completely without a hitch, did i?" he grins, expression as close to bashful as you've seen it. setting down the utensils and dusting himself off with a kitchen towel, he closes the distance to take your hand, guiding you to your seat at the table. with a professional flourish he pours you a glass of sparkling wine, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head once you've sat down.
"you enjoy that while i go change," he mumbles against your hair, "and i’ll also make sure I'm not still smouldering."
you laugh as he walks away, heart swelling in your chest as you survey the space around you.
he's bought a bouquet of your favourite flowers from that little old florist who lives three doors down from your apartment, the one whose displays you always admire when you head out to work in the mornings. he has your favourite album playing on vinyl, the low reverberations of the music filling the candle-lit kitchen.
distantly, you wonder if bo's fire incident came from the cooking or the decoration.
but before you have much time to consider, he's arrived back in the kitchen with a fresh shirt and almost-tamed hair, paired with that signature bo smile that lights up all of his features.
"ready for course number one?" he exclaims, clapping his hands together as he heads over to the counter space. once you voice your assent he produces two dishes as if from nowhere, heading over to the table and setting yours down in front of you.
you find yourself looking down at a perfectly presented salad, crisp leaves and a citrus dressing that reminds you exactly of the one you had --
"on our first date!" you burst out before even taking a bite. "this is the salad from that bistro by college!"
the bistro where he had taken you after finally mustering up the courage to ask, waiting until after you both had graduated to make his move. you're still not sure why he was so anxious since your class had no qualms about intra-departmental fraternisation, but you're just glad he went for it eventually.
he nods, clearly relieved you picked up on the connection.
the salad is wonderful, a light and refreshing starter for the evening, and you inform him as much.
your response clearly encourages him. he gets up again to start heating the next dish, pouring you a glass of wine beforehand for you to nurse while he gets things ready.
this time, he presents you with a bowl of soup. the same type of soup ...
"that you made for me that time i got the flu!" he informs you this time, voice achingly fond as he watches for your reaction. "and no word of a lie -- it cured me."
his earnestness draws another laugh from you, the soothing smell of herbs and vegetables bringing you back to that afternoon.
you had never seen bo so sick before and you haven't seen it since. with the combination of his healthy approach to life and sheer stubbornness to remain top of his game, he ends up avoiding most illnesses, and so when he called his coach to inform him he wouldn't be making 8am practice, you knew things were serious.
he ran a temperature, cheeks flushing an adorable shade of pink that you would have appreciated more were he not suffering, and had started shivering by noon.
"you need to keep your strength up," you had whispered softly to him, setting a glass of water down at his bedside and perching yourself on the edge, watching as he slowly started eating the soup. it was difficult with a sore throat but he managed to polish the whole thing off.
that soup was the only thing he could stomach for forty-eight hours, eating it for every meal until his shivering subsided and his muscles stopped aching.
it's one of the few dishes he knew how to prepare before tonight, since he insists on making it with you whenever either one of you starts to show any signs of impending sniffles.
once the soup has been finished and cleared away, the third course is presented with another glass of wine and near-giddy smile from bo. just as you had guessed from the hallway, he serves up your favourite pasta dish, the recipe having been scribbled down on a napkin after the chef from the aforementioned first-date bistro was kind enough to let you have it. 
bo managed to replicate it perfectly, albeit not without slightly singeing the accompanying garlic bread (explaining the scorch mark on his shirt).
as you take your first bite, you realise that he was right earlier when he promised that you'd love this.
it wasn't that the food was michelin quality (though it was undoubtedly delicious, especially for a first-timer) -- it was the thought that went into every dish, every ingredient, every element. the effort that went into telling a story with each course.
you've never felt as loved as you do in this moment.
that is, until he brings out dessert in the form of your grandmother's french vanilla cake. it’s been frosted to the best of bokuto's ability, with 'happy birthday my love!' edged in pink font and surrounded by flickering candles.
there's also a design under the words. a little shape, something you can't see without squinting.
he carries it over to you proudly, though with a slight tremble in his hands you can't quite understand ...
after blowing out the candles, you lean in to examine the cake closer.
it takes a few seconds for it to land, to determine what bo attempted to draw in icing format, but once it hits you ...
"is that a ring?"
your heart pounds in your chest, each word leaving your lips in a flurry as you try to gauge whether or not your exhilaration is merited.
and in lieu of an answer, bo sets the cake on the table before getting down on one knee, producing a velvet-bound ring box from the pocket of his new shirt.
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billford-dump · 8 months
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Stranger Avatar Stan Thoughts
It starts with his first new identity, not long after he was kicked out. He… enjoyed being someone else. He was no longer Stanley Pines, high school dropout, moron who ruined his genius brother's science fair project, the useless kid, the spare. Now he's Stan Pinington, a man who has just barely started existing, who is old enough to hold a proper job, who has never fucked up so badly he got kicked out, who is confident and smart and is going to make millions.
It doesn't turn out like that, of course. He gets fired from his new job after a week, barely earns enough to pay for food and gas. He keeps going, keeps trying, because at least this was better than being Stanley. Eventually he broke one too many laws and was forced to leave Jersey, but that's okay because now he was Leland Oakley, a new face with new opportunities.
And on and on, he became person after person after person. Never caught, never recognized when he didn't want to be.
Then came the day he had to become Stanford Pines. He's not sure how anyone actually believed he was his brother, the hands alone were a dead giveaway, not to mention the sudden lack of nerdiness. But still, he settled into his new role, molded it to fit him better, and eventually "Stanford Pines, the reclusive scientist" became "Stan Pines, the owner of the Murder Hut (later renamed the Mystery Shack)".
---
Stan doesn't even know he's an avatar. He's not a full one, never actually crossed the boundary between human and Not, still stuck between them. There was usually enough fear around to keep him from getting hungry, and the way that he could go weeks without eating if he had to was something he wasn't about to question. The only time he got seriously hungry was after Ford fell through the portal and he spent weeks (it was months, he survived for MONTHS on what little half-rotten food Ford had in his house) before he was so hungry he was forced to go into town.
He felt so much better, once he gave that first tour. He tells himself it's because now he has money, and money always makes him feel better. The townsfolk won't make eye contact with him, but something keeps a few of them coming back.
The Mystery Shack is the way he feeds himself, although he isn't aware of it. That mild fear of the tourists is enough, and at the height of tourist season he doesn't even have to sleep, he can work all night and feel fresh and ready to go in the morning. The off-season is another story, he'll fall asleep and wake up days later, telling himself he just forgot to mark the calendar.
(He knows there's something very, very wrong with him. But if it helps him get his brother back sooner, he will embrace that wrongness completely.)
---
He never closes down his wax museum. See, rather than them just being cursed wax figures, a few months after he stole them they stopped being constrained by their curse and started being animate all the time. And THEY were aware that Stan was nearly an avatar, and they enjoyed hanging out in his house, so they put in the effort to scare the shit out of people to feed him. Like paying rent. When the wax museum stopped pulling in money they got moved to the main area instead of locked up.
That, plus he can supplement his diet with human food.
Occasionally though, when all of that isn't enough, he'll feel… odd. He'll lead tourists through rooms he doesn't remember having and the tourists' expressions will change from that gullible interest he's so used to into fear, then terror, but they just follow him until the end of the tour and then leave immediately without buying anything. (They watch, as the old man acting as their tour guide looks less and less human, leads them past hanging, empty skin and people who aren't people, leads them past puppets and mannequins and people they Do Not Recognize, and the moment they're outside again they flee in terror and never even set foot in Oregon again.)
---
Then came the day he was finally, finally able to bring his brother back…. His brother, who barely recognized him, who treated him like a stranger when he first saw him, who seemed wary and on guard and kept protectively placing himself between Stan and the kids.
(Avatar Ford post here.)
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corporatefrog · 1 year
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꒦‧₊ ꒷ team stan comforting you when you're stressed out [headcannons]✧.*
✧.* tags: mentions of drugs, college au ✧.* Characters: kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, stan marsh, butters stotch a/n: honestly, it helps me to work through my problems when i have a little fictional world to escape into so this request was a nice therapeutic writing with finals coming up
masterlist
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Stan
Empathetic king right here
He probably won’t approach you because he doesn’t know if you want to talk about it or if you want your space
But if you ask him to talk he’d definitely listen
Very good listener!!
If it’s a person causing the emotional stress, stan is not having it
This is the guy who sat in his bedroom with a bunch of calves for DAYS, you know he’s going to be up in arms if someone else is causing you to be distressed 
Definitely the type to suggest different things to take your mind off whatever’s stressing you out
Playing video games and ordering pizza!! Best way to destress!! 
You could probably talk him into getting some of randy’s weed ngl (strike)
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Kyle
He’s the type to give advice to whatever is troubling you
He doesn’t like to see his friends stressed and he wants to help!!
Helps you take a step back from the situation and see it more objectively
It doesn’t erase the stress but it gives good steps to approach it in a different way
Que brainstorming session to create a plan of attack for whatever’s bugging you
First day of being sad, talk to stan and eat pizza
Second day of being sad, talk to kyle and make a game plan
Dynamic duo of being stressed
Even if you don’t make an attack plan, he’s definitely a “let’s talk this through” type of person to at least find where the spiraling thoughts are occurring
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Kenny
Reaches out to you first because he notices you being stressed
He’s really observant even if he doesn’t act on it often
All you need sometimes is a good hug
And a ton of weed and bad adam sandler movies (strike)
The type to try and make you laugh when he notices you’re feeling down
If you want to talk, he’ll listen but he’ll try and cheer you up regardless
You guys would go to starks pond or something and throw rocks in the water
A change of setting can do wonders!!
He definitely knows the best places in south park to chill without anyone bugging you
Que the south park hideout tour with your guide, kenny
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Butters
He knows how important it is to have someone to listen
He’ll listen to you vent even if he has no idea what you’re talking about
“And they said WHAT?! That’s ridiculous!”
Getting ice cream and sitting on the deck for hours just complaining about everything
He somehow puts a positive spin on every situation no matter how bad
You always leave feeling lighter than before
Another hugger
Always giving a good hug before you guys part ways
He’ll send you funny videos after you’re both home and text you that you can talk to him whenever you need
Checks in if he hasn’t talked to you for a few days to see how you’re doing
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feministsouthpark · 1 month
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South Park Filler Guide - Season 26
Link for Seasons  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25
S26E1 Cupid Ye is FILLER
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I don't buy the relevancy. Kyle is now best friends with Tolkien and Stan is jealous, even though for the past season we had Stan and Tolkien bond and even in this season they will continue to be a duo. This really seems like a filler. S26E2 The Worldwide Privacy Tour is FILLER
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I really like the part when the prince and his wife move into Liane's old house, as they make use of the house being empty for the duration of the Hot Dog home story arc, but as they move out by the next time the house will be used, the impact is nonexistent. S26E3 Japanese Toiler is FILLER
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How I would have liked if the shooting turned out to be a season-long mystery of who shot Randy, I was looking at the characters of the crowd for way too long guessing, before I realized everything is pointless in this one. Well, not the real world message, but the in-universe events. S26E4 Deep Learning is CANON
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The easiest type of episode to recognize as canon is a relationship centered one. We get our confirmation that Stan's attempts - from S20E7 The Very First Gentlemen Oh, Jeez - to change and win Wendy over worked out. Bebe/Clyde are together as well, as are Herbert/Rick. S26E5 DikinBaus Hot Dogs is CANON
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While this is the end of the Hot Dog era, it ends in a way, that counts as loss for Eric, still feeding into the idea of how easily he can lose everything and end up being homeless. S26E6 Spring Break is CANON
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For Herbert is falling back into his old ways of campaigning, and depending on what happens in real life, this could have a ton of unwanted consequences... S26E7 Joining the Panderverse is FILLER
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It's mostly parallel universe stuff, while Randy fixes an oven. S26E8 (Not Suitable For Children) is CANON
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Roger Donovan finds a new partner by the name of Janice, and it seems like she's here to stay. Snow Day is FILLER
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Yeah, no... This is the latest season anyway, but I don't believe Mr. Hankey would ever return on the show, end of story. If he does, and thus this video game becomes canon, I will change this post to include that. S26E9 The End of Obesity is FILLER
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I have a feeling, that the "never mention Eric's weight again" idea will be forgotten like the numerous times Eric promised not to rip on jewish people anymore.
SPOILER-FREE RUNDOWN
S26E1 Cupid Ye is FILLER S26E2 The Worldwide Privacy Tour is FILLER S26E3 Japanese Toiler is FILLER S26E4 Deep Learning is CANON S26E5 DikinBaus Hot Dogs is CANON S26E6 Spring Break is CANON S26E7 Joining the Panderverse is FILLER S26E8 (Not Suitable For Children) is CANON S26E9 The End of Obesity is FILLER
CANON counter:
S1: 9 out of 13   S2: 3 out of 18   S3: 6 out of 18   S4: 10 out of 17   S5: 8 out of 14   S6: 11 out of 17  S7: 6 out of 15  S8: 4 out of 14  S9: 8 out of 14  S10: 4 out of 14  S11: 4 out of 14  S12: 8 out of 14  S13: 3 out of 14  S14: 7 out of 14  S15: 6 out of 14  S16: 2 out of 14  S17: 4 out of 10 + a highly lore based game  S18: 8 out of 10  S19: 9 out of 10  S20: 10 out of 10 S21: 7 out of 10 + a highly lore based game + 2 DLCs S22: 9 out of 10 S23: 8 out of 10 S24: 4 out of 4 S25: 5 out of 8 S26: 4 out of 9
Overall: 167 out of 329 Personal Note: I'm almost certain we'll have another special that I'll add to this season and I'm almost certain it'll be election-based and therefor canon. When it happens, I'll be back to edit this post. This one is basically just me predicting the future, but to be fair, they are pretty safe bets.
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wolfsbanesparks · 1 year
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Hear me out.
Gravity Falls. The Mystery Twins. But they're Billy Batson and Mary Bromfield. I had more coherent thoughts but I'm suddenly busy, so I drop this here
I would love this!
Gravity Falls is one of my favorite cartoons and dropping Billy and Mary into that world would be so easy. They love solving mysteries and dealing with the paranormal/supernatural!
Magic and monsters and weird scientific inventions are par for the course for both of them. They probably be equally obsessed with the secret magical journals and helping out random magical beings. Tawky Tawny would definitely be there, probably as a walking talking bipedal tiger in a suit who works in the museum (as tour guide like in canon).
You could have Uncle Dudley in the role of Grunkle Stan, just a bit more chipper and goofy. He still can run a tourist trap scam (he was a con artist when he was first introduced. He wasn't even their uncle he just pretended to be for money and clout but they all cared about each other anyways)
And you can mix and match Gravity Falls and Fawcett City weirdness for a lot of fun wacky adventures!
I really enjoy this idea! If you have time I would love to hear your more coherent thoughts!
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