#SquareBill

[squarebill]

@detective-luca-montoya

I'm going to regret this...

What do you want for it?

--------------–--------------

AHAHAHA! FUNNY! I WAS JUST DISCUSSING WITH YOUR CREATOR THAT SAME QUESTION! DID YOU KNOW YOUR EXISTENCE WAS SPAWNED OUT OF SOMEBODY'S SIDEBLOG? DON'T THINK ABOUT IT TOO HARD, GUMSHOE!

ALSO MAYBE STAY AWAY FROM MILK, MILK SUBSTITUTES, AND MILK BY-PRODUCTS FOR A WHILE. THEY'RE MELTING YOUR BONES VIA A SLOW-ACTING NECROSIS BECAUSE YOU SAW A DEMONIC BOOK IN YOUR FRIDGE AND COULDN'T RESIST TAKING A QUICK PEEK BETWEEN THE PAGES LIKE SOME KIND OF DEGENERATE BOOK PERVERT!

ANYWAY, THIS UNICORN HAIR IS SUPER RARE AND SUPER VALUABLE! I'M GOING TO NEED SOMETHING OF GREAT VALUE OF YOURS IN EXCHANGE. OH, I KNOW!

{SNAPS FINGERS}

YOU KNOW THAT COLD CASE YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON? THE ONE THAT NO ONE ELSE IS WORKING ON BECAUSE IT WAS BACK DURING A TIME WHEN FORENSICS WASN'T A THING AND COP INCOMPETENCY WAS AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH? THE ONE THAT MOTIVATES YOU AS A DETECTIVE AND KEEPS YOU UP AT A NIGHT? YOU KNOW. MORE THAN USUAL.

THE COLD CASE THAT COULD JUST BE ANOTHER GRISLY MURDER AT THE HANDS OF A DERANGED, LOW-IQ PSYCHOTIC WHO HAS SOMEHOW MANAGED TO CONVINCE THE NEIGHBORHOOD HE'S A NICE GUY BECAUSE HE OWNS HIS OWN BUSINESS AND PARTICIPATED IN A BAKESALE ONE TIME OR COULD BE MORE SUPERNATURAL THAN IT APPEARS BECAUSE OF ALL THOSE CODED MESSAGES AND WHAT WAS THAT WEIRD NOTE ABOUT THE AUTOPSY AND HOW DID THE CAR GET THERE OF ALL PLACES AND THE PHONE CALL WELL AFTER THE ALLEGED TIME OF DEATH. I KNOW THE ANSWER, BY THE WAY.

EVERY DETECTIVE HAS THAT ONE COLD CASE THAT STARTED IT ALL. I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO YOUR NIGHTMARES. YOU'VE GOT FILES, A MURDER BOARD, EVIDENCE YOU AND ONLY YOU HAVE COLLECTED. YOU'VE WORKED A SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF YOUR LIFE ON THIS CASE.

I WANT THE MOTHERLODE, GUMSHOE. ALL OF YOUR NOTES, THE MURDER BOARD, EVIDENCE - DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FORUM POST INQUIRIES I'LL BE TAKING THOSE, TOO.

THEN, I'LL GIVE YOU THIS UNICORN HAIR AND WHAT THE HECK, I'LL THROW IN THIS BOOKMARK, TOO.

DO WE HAVE A DEAL?

[annoyangle]

This is going without saying, but have you considered maybe stretching square Bill until he's a rectangle and then drawing a money symbol on him so he's finally worth something in life instead of just trying to pawn off a lot of junk to people for money he probably doesn't use?

[BILL JUST LAUGHING]

[dreamsofalife]

💌 NOT THAT I NEED YOUR ADVICE! I'D JUST THINK IT'D BE HILARIOUS FOR YOU TO GIVE LOVE ADVICE TO A TRILLION PLUS YEARS OLD ELDRITCH ENTITY OF PURE ENERGY WHO HAS BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST AS LONG AS YOU HAVE BEEN ALIVE! AHAHAHA! BUT SERIOUSLY, SHYSTER, LAY IT ON ME!

"I guess the best thing I can say to you is that love is a force of nature; you can prune it, cultivate it, try to keep it sustained or try to kill it, but it does what it wants and pops up wherever it so chooses. It does require work and sacrifice, but trying to control the way your heart lands is like trying to make it rain in the desert; it'll end up getting you bit in the ass by something.

My best advice to you is just go with the flow and let it be."

[pine-dexter]

"I'm sorry, did he say brother in law?"

[angelsandemons]

HEY, AN ANGEL! BEEN A COUPLE OF DECADES SINCE I'VE BEEN TO A HEAVEN DIMENSION! NICE DIGS! DID YOU KNOW I'M TECHNICALLY A LICENSED DREAM ANGEL? WHAT A STORY EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE I ATE A HELL DIMENSION AND NOW I HAVE THE ELDRITCH EQUIVALENT OF HEARTBURN THAT A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF EVERY TYPE OF ANTACID IN EXISTENCE WON'T GET RID OF! OW! BUT ENOUGH ABOUT ME. LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU. YOU SEEM LIKE A VERY DISCERNING, POTENTIAL CUSTOMER! YOU KNOW, I HAVE A LOT OF PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT. ALL KINDS OF MAGICAL SHIELDINGS, LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACTS WITH ANCIENT GUARDIANS OF OLD, YADDA YADDA YADDA. AND I MIGHT BE ABLE TO SELL IT YOU ON THE CHEAP! WHADDYA SAY, PAL?

"......" There was so much to unpack in what this creature just said, Sera wasn't even sure where to start. For a moment, she waffled between calling security and hearing the bizarre thing out.

"I....appreciate? The offer but...I don't even know what you're specifically offering. I don't even know who you are."

[misc-muses]

ADVICE? STANLEY, STANLEY, STANLEY. I'M NOT GOING TO BE CHARGING YOU FOR ADVICE, TOUGH GUY. I'M GOING TO BE CHARGING YOU FOR EQUIPMENT. EQUIPMENT THAT LEADS YOU, YES YOU, STRAIGHT TO THE HOT ALIEN BABES. THEY'RE OUT THERE WAITING FOR A GUY LIKE YOU TO SWEEP THEM OFF THEIR FEET OR TENTACLES! WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING CHARM IF YOU'RE NOT USING IT TO ITS FULL POTENTIAL? ALSO, WATCH IT. FORDSY HAS PLENTY OF OTHER ATTRACTIVE ATTRIBUTES. ANYWAY, DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE YOUR PHRASING. LAST TWO PEOPLE ON EARTH, HUH? HOW ABOUT WE TAKE A TRIP? WE CAN START ON ZEPHLON-9 IN THE MORDROMEBADA SYSTEM.

Unprompted asks //

"What part of pass are you not understandin'?"

Sure, he hadn't been exactly crawling in babes, despite his self-proclaimed charm, but he's smart enough to know that whatever Bill Cipher considers normal is definitely the opposite.

Also? Ew. "How about this? I pay you to never say that about my brother again, an' you go search for hot babes in the Bottomless Pit."

[piinetrees]

MASON! MY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE GREAT NEPHEW-IN-LAW! BUDDY! PAL! WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU SLEPT? I GOT A WEIGHTED BLANKET WITH YOUR NAME ON IT - LITERALLY! IT HAS THE CONSTELLATION, TOO! AND THIS COULD BE YOURS FOR THE LOW PRICE OF... YOUR JOURNAL!!! WHAT A DEAL!

          Alternate universe great-what-and-what? There is a lot to unpack here! Dipper doesn’t even know where to start! Was the milk he had with his cereal this morning expired? And why did he use THAT name?  

          “ You’re… you’re square… ”

[squarebill]

HEY THERE, BLOOD LETTER! WANNA BUY A GUN?!

Hmmm 😐

[squarebill]

@detective-luca-montoya

HMMMMmmmmmMMMMM. LET ME TAKE A LOOK AROUND.

GOT ANYTHING THAT'S HANDCRAFTED? FAMILY HEIRLOOMS? CHILDHOOD TOYS YOU'VE KEPT?

[annoyangle]

THAT MOUSE DOESN'T OWN ME LIKE HE OWNS YOU.

{Holds up a finger, pauses}

ACTUALLY, THOSE LAWYERS ARE PRETTY COURT-HAPPY. MAYBE I SHOULD PAINT MYSELF PURPLE AND CHANGE MY NAME TO 811L CEDARS... THEN AGAIN, I'D HAVE TO CHANGE MY FAMILY'S NAMES, TOO, MOVE DIMENSIONS, FALL BEHIND ON MY TAXES...

{Rolls eye}

ALL RIGHT! FINE! THE SOAP'S ALREADY SCRUBBED MOST OF THE ORIGINAL MESSAGE, ANYWAY! LOOK. I EVEN ADDED PARENTAL CONTROL FEATURES!

OH YEAH BECAUSE KEEPING UP WITH THE TAXES IS ABSOLUTELY VITAL FOR US BILLS.

[EYE ROLLING BACK SO HARD] SHEESH IF THIS IS WHAT """"MARRIED LIFE""""" DOES TO US, I'M STAYING SINGLE FOREVER!!

[misc-muses]

YOU'RE TWINS. OF COURSE YOU'RE DEVILISHLY HANDSOME, BUT THE BABES AREN'T BITING, ARE THEY, STANLEY? YOU NEED TO CAST A WIDER NET. CONSIDER HOT ALIEN BABES. I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT IF YOU'RE WILLING TO MAKE A DEAL. I'LL EVEN GIVE YOU THE FAMILY DISCOUNT. I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT TECHNICALLY MY BROTHER-IN-LAW BUT YOU'RE STILL A VERSION OF HIM. IT SHOULD COUNT. I'LL PLEAD THE 5th AND A HALF BILLION POINT 3.

Unprompted asks //

"I wouldn't go to you for datin' advice if we were the last two people on Earth. Pass."

Just going to ignore that first part, by the way.

"Sure, we share the same face but I got somethin' Sixer doesn't, an' that's charm."

[lostinyourfacade]

//Steven bomb

@squarebill

Thanks for reading the rules!

[squarebill]

PROMO + RULES

IF YOU'RE READING THIS, CHANCES ARE GOOD YOU'RE BUYING WHAT I'M SELLING! I'VE MANIFESTED MYSELF ON THIS HELL DUMPSTER SITE WITH EXCELLENT AND EXPLOITABLE CONTENT IN THE FORM OF A MOSTLY HARMLESS INDIE RP BLOG WITH AN ASK RP FOCUS!

I'M A SQUARE VERSION OF THE EXTRA DIMENSIONAL ENTITY KNOWN AS BILL CIPHER FROM THE GRAVITY FALLS FANDOM, BUT I'LL SELL THE GOODS TO ANYONE, AND I DO MEAN ANYONE FOR THE RIGHT PRICE!

NOW, I'M GOING TO LET THE PUPPET PAL TALK, SO LISTEN UP! HA! SHE THINKS SHE RUNS THE JOINT!

//Mun is 36 years old. Rules? Don't be a jerk (OOC), don't cause drama (OOC), try to use good grammar and spelling, IC does not equal OOC (Bill is a jerk; don't take it personally OOC), 18+ preferred, don't be surprised by the Billford but also don't expect him to romance your Ford (he's got one already).

Buy that thing you like! Consume consume consume!

[annoyangle]

have you considered taking square bill and folding him into different origami shapes?

COULD HELP- I COULD FOLD HIM IN HALF INTO A PROPER TRIANGLE SHAPE LIKE THE REST OF US! HAHAHA

[dimensionbled]

ooc: do u like doubles?

Absolutely!! My other fave Bill portrayals include @somniocarce, @squarebill, and @fyramids!

[tacklenet]

🔁 @handcraftedlureco → Tried something a little different on a couple SquareGils. I've been seeing a lot of gold looking bluegills around and decided to paint a couple with more gold. These aren't on the website so if you want one send me a message. Follow us on Instagram for updates. #handcraftedlureco #madeinmichigan #woodbaits #woodcrankbait #squarebill #bluegillcrankbait #bluegill #bumpingstumps #goldengill #gold #largemouthbass #crankbait #crankbaitfishing #custompaintedlures #bigbaitsbigfish #bigcrankbaits #swimbaitculture #swimbaitfreaks #swimbaituniverse #swimbaitunderground http://dlvr.it/Sv3V1n https://tackle.net https://www.facebook.com/274553482079786/posts/259089700292831