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reidandweep · 4 years

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Dinosaurs and Sharks

Spencer Reid x Reader (female)

A/N- Im going to be doing a couple of imagines on some subjects that I relate to specifically. This is the first one, so I hope you enjoy. Also I made up a lot of the American stuff. So sorry if it isn’t accurate as I am from Britain.

Word Count- 4567 words

Warning- Fluff, Angst, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks.

‘Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.’ - Arthur Somers Roche.

Everyone remembers their first. First kiss. First love. First heartbreak. First time they watched their favourite film or read their favourite book. One first is always clearer than the rest. Every detail so vivid in a person’s mind. For Y/N, it was her first panic attack.

She remembered the feeling of not being able to breath as her lungs constricted around nothing. The gasping for air as her hands began to shake. She was alone and did not know what was happening. Y/N thought she was dying. That this is what death felt like. It took her approximately 38 minutes to calm down her breathing; her face a canvas of dried tears and her hands aching from their clenched position.

As life continued, Y/N found that these moments would happen often. Anything could trigger a panic attack. She had them over miniscule things like using the wrong coloured pen for her notes. But also, over dramatic events in her life, like being employed at the BAU.

It had always been her aspiration to work for the FBI. Y/N would not let anything get in her way of achieving what she had worked so hard for. Choosing not to disclose information about her anxiety to the team, Y/N had successfully kept her anxiety under control at work. Stepping out when she felt overwhelmed, doing her set routine to help slow down her breathing and her heart rate. No anxiety or panic attacks had occurred at work. Until one late Thursday evening, whilst trying to solve a case, it seemed like there was no way out of the oncoming wave that was about to crash over her.

YN sat at her desk, re-reading over the case for what felt like the hundredth time. They had been in Atlanta, Georgia for three days with no luck. Two more lives had been lost, and if they didn’t work fast enough, another would soon be too.

Y/N was alone in the office in which the team had been situated into for the time being. She had volunteered to look over the victimology once more as Rossi and JJ spoke to the families of the two newest victims, and Emily and Morgan went to the second crime scene as Hotch and Spencer surveyed the third.

Cracking her back as she stretched from her crouched position, Y/N looked at the clock on the wall. The team would be back soon, and she could not see anything new. She had to keep looking. As she delved deeper and deeper into the words before her, her eyes glanced between the pages of the file and the clock, Y/N felt the creeping tension in her chest.

“I haven’t got the time for this.”

Y/N banged her fist on the desk as her chest got increasingly tighter. Looking down at her fist, she saw that it was shaking.

As her other hand moved to her chest, Y/N stood up from her chair and paced across the room.

“Not now. Anytime but now!”

Y/N tried to take deep breathes to ease the panic that she felt. She couldn’t help but to glance at the clock. She couldn’t risk the team seeing her like this. Grabbing the file, Y/N dashed out of the room, looking for somewhere where she could calm herself down.

Seeing an open door ahead, Y/N looked inside the room to survey its contents. Noticing no one inside, she quickly shut the door behind her, dropping the file on the table as she continued to pace the room.

“Breathe, Y/N. Breathe.”

She tried. Y/N tried so hard to regulate her breathes but her chest continued to rise and fall at an increasing rate.

The feeling was overwhelming. She hated that she could never control it. No matter how much she tried. The exercises never worked. Her therapist’s advice was useless. She would have to stay in the room until she calmed down; however long it took.

Sliding down against the wall, Y/N threaded her shaking hands through her hair, pulling on the strands as tears flooded from her eyes. Her cries were quiet, but to her they sounded so loud that they echoed in her mind.

As the team walked back into the precinct, they discussed the evidence in which they found from each scene and interview conducted.

“Both parents of the most recent victims state that their daughters did not know each other. They were all from different areas and attended separate universities.”

Emily nodded at Rossi as they continued to walk towards their allocated room.

“The crime scenes both showed signs of a struggle and personal items were missing from both the bedrooms. This time it was a pompom and a baton.”

The team took in Hotch’s words. Emily walked to the door; hand situated over the door handle.

“Were the girls on any cheerleading teams?”

JJ shook her head at Morgan’s question.

“Well let’s just hope that Y/N’s found something that we’ve missed.”

As the door opened, the team looked in confusion to see Y/N nowhere in sight.

“Maybe she went to get a drink. We were gone for a while.”

The team headed into the room, situating themselves across the threshold as they continued to discuss the new evidence. Spencer lingered at the door.

Something felt off. Spencer noticed that Y/N file was nowhere in sight and that her phone was left on the table. She was never without her phone.

“Guys, I’ll be back in a second. I’m just going to go to the bathroom.”

The team all acknowledged Spencer’s words in their own way; too engrossed in the case to notice Spencer’s perplexed look.

Spencer walked down the hall as he thought of where Y/N could be. As he turned the corner, Spencer immediately noticed the picture on the floor; in the middle of the empty hallway. Walking towards the picture, Spencer crouched down to survey its contents. He recognised it as a piece from the victimology report.

Looking down the corridor, he saw multiple more pictures on the ground. Spencer continued to follow their path, picking them up as he passed each one. He soon came to an end when no more pictures were strewn on the carpet.

Beginning to worry, Spencer wondered where Y/N could be. Just as he was about to head back to tell the team, a muffled sound could be heard.

Spencer stared at the door in front of him. It was labelled ‘Interrogation Room 4’. Spencer knew that no one had been brought in for interrogation so far, therefore, the room should be vacant.

Carefully, Spencer moved his hand to grasp the door handle. Opening the door, Spencer quietly walked inside. As he shut the door behind him, Spencer instantly recognised Y/N on the other side of the glass.

His heart broke at the sight of her. Unable to stand by for even a second, Spencer opened the door adjoining the hidden area to the interrogation room.

Y/N jumped from the sound of the opening door. Looking in the direction of the noise, her breathing elevated as she saw who had opened it.

She could not bear for anyone to see her in this way. The team had seen her as anything but strong. She had never cried on a case. Or thrown up or fainted at the sights they had seen. She was able to control the overwhelming feeling that enveloped her until she was alone.

“Y/N…”

“S-Spen-ce, ple-a-ase le-le-leave.”

Y/N struggled to speak as she gasped for air. Her throat dried from her cries and her face wet from the constant tears.

For a miniscule of a second, Spencer contemplates doing as she asked; until he truly looks at her. He had noticed signs of Y/N being anxious in the past, but he had written it down as nerves from being new to the team. He would have never guessed anxiety disorder or panic attacks due to her confidence and lack of breakdowns on the field. They had all cried or walked away from bodies during their first few months; even Hotch had. All except Y/N. Spencer moved to stand in front of Y/N. Crouching down, he reached for her hands in her hair.

Y/N couldn’t help the confusion that showed on her face as she allowed Spencer to grab her hands from her hair and hold them in his own grasp. Spencer hated touching hands. He hated germs. In her short time at the BAU, her hands had never touched his once.

Spencer locked his gaze with Y/N as he began to speak.

“Y/N, is It okay if I help?”

Y/N slowly nodded her head at his question. He had already seen her hyperventilating. She may as well take his help.

Spencer stroked the back of her hands with his thumbs.

“First, can you look at five things in the room and describe them for me?”

Y/N’s hand shook in Spencer’s as her eyes darted around the room as she tried to focus on five objects. There weren’t enough things in the room. Spencer noticed her increasing distress.

Squeezing her hands, Spencer pulled her focus back to him.

“it’s alright. Let’s try this instead. Describe five things about me. Anything you want.”

Y/N’s eyes travelled across Spencer. First, she locked onto his hair.

“Your hair is short-er-er than it was la-las-st week. You’ve had it cut. I Li-ik-ike it.”

Spencer blushed at her compliment; nodding his head at her to continue.

Y/N could already feel her breathing relax. Her hands still shaking as the sweat on her brow and neck continued to cool her burning skin.

“You’re wearing your favour-our-rite tie. You always wear it on days th-th-at you want to be better. You’ve worn it twice since we’ve be-ee-en here.”

Spencer was shocked at how observant she was with him. Of course, she was observant, she was a profiler, but he never thought it would be in his direction.

“You have one purple sock with dinosaurs on and one blue sock with sharks on. Purples my favourite colour and sharks are my favourite animal too, how weird.”

Spencer noticed that Y/N know longer stumbled over her words, her breathing was evening out and she even smiled when she looked at his socks.

“My favourite colour is purple too. I prefer Saurapods specifically in reference to dinosaurs. Sauropods evolved to walk on four legs and typically grew to enormous sizes. They were herbivores and consisted of dinosaurs such as…”

“Brontosaurus, Brachiosaurus, and Diplodocus.”

Spencer was finding out more and more about Y/N in this single moment than he had in her whole time with the team so far. He determined it down to her walls being lowered due to her panic attack.

“Yeah. That’s exactly what I was going to say.”

Y/N couldn’t help a smile grow on her face from the look that Spencer was giving her. Her hands began to shake less as she held his gaze. Unconsciously, matching her breathes to his deeper ones. She was calming down without even realising.

“Two more things.”

Y/N licked her lips; ridding the dryness as she scanned Spencer to describe another detail.

Spencer tried to ignore the gesture, but he could now feel his own hands begin to sweat in her grasp. He shook his head. He was helping her. He had to focus.

“You look like you can play piano. You have the hands for it. They’re large and smooth. A lot bigger than my little hands.”

Spencer chuckled at her words.

“I actually don’t play piano. I wanted to join the band in high school, but I was already picked on for being so young, I didn’t want them to have something else to use against me.”

Y/N squeezed Spencer’s hand.

“I wasn’t in band, but I was the school mascot throughout high school. I got teased relentlessly for it because of what our mascot was.”

“What was it?”

“A pig.”

Spencer looked at Y/N perplexed. Y/N rolled her eyes at his obliviousness. “The boys on the football team would often make fun of my weight. It crippled me for some years, especially because I had to travel with the cheerleaders, who were a lot skinnier than me. I had to be there at all their competitions to show school spirit. Our school would even give me things to help amp up the crowd.”

Spencer grasped Y/N’s hands tighter.

“Like pomspoms?

“Yeah, and megaphones. When the band played, they gave me a baton to twirl and throw in the air.”

Y/N saw the look on Spencer’s face. She knew instantly why he looked so shocked.

“We found items missing from the two newest victims’ rooms. One was a pompom and the other a baton?”

“Did the baton have a specific symbol on the stick?”

Spencer nodded his head.

“The parent’s said it was blue and white with a manatee on the bottom.”

Y/N rushed to her feet pulling Spencer up with her. Dragging him out the door, Spencer ran to keep in toe with Y/N as she explained to him her thoughts.

The team looked on stunned as Y/N and Spencer came bursting through the door; their hands interlocked, and Y/N’s face adorned with tracks of dried tears.

Before they could question what was going on, Y/N began to talk.

“All three of the victims were mascots for their university teams.”

Morgan shook his head.

“The parent’s said that none of their children were part of the cheer team.”

Y/N began to wave her arms as she spoke, unaware of her hand still grasped in Spencer’s as it moved alongside her own as she spoke.

“Being a mascot does not connect you solely to the cheerleading squad. You represent all teams at the school; basketball, baseball, soccer, football etc. Every year, the mascots go with the teams to their state events. It’s like a sports decathlon kind of event where each universities sports team face other universities. Even the mascots compete against one another’s.”

Hotch looked at Y/N inquisitively.

“And how do we know our victims attended this event?”

Y/N looked towards Spencer to answer.

Spencer cleared his throat as he was aware of the flickering gazes between Y/N and Spencer’s interlocked hands and Y/N tear stained face.

“The items taken from the girls’ bedrooms are all ritual items for the Spirit Games. It’s a superstition that if these items are not in the holder’s possession during the games, that they cannot win. Y/N recognised the logo on the baton. The manatee belongs to the State College of Florida. They have been an exception into the games, even though they didn’t qualify the past few years. That was the stick taken out of Alison Cable’s room. Alison attended University of Colorado; whose mascot is Milo the Lynx. Alison would only have the baton with her team mascot on; unless she took another teams.”

Rossi faced Y/N.

“What are the other items that are need for the ritual?”

“So, there’s the baton for band, pompom for cheer, captains arm band for soccer, mouthguard from the quarterback for football, and sweatband from point guard for basketball. If one is taken, then it’s considered bad luck for all the teams of that university.”

JJ turned towards Hotch.

“The pompom that Melissa Druid’s mother described was dark blue. Melissa attended the University of Georgia. Their colour is red.”

Prentiss agreed.

Hotch looked at Y/N.

“Are you positive about this?”

Y/N began to doubt herself. Worrying that she might have overthought it all. Her breathing picked up once again until Spencer squeezed her hand. With his empty hand, he pointed at his hair, then fiddled with his tie, then pulled up his trouser leg to show his unmatched socks. He was helping Y/N stay grounded.

Y/N looked at Spencer in wonder; all she could think at that moment was how special Spencer Reid truly was. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath in and out, calming herself down.

As she opened her eyes, she locked them onto Hotch’s.

“Without a shadow of a doubt.”

Hotch nodded his head in approval.

“Morgan and Prentiss, I need you to go back to the first victims’ home. Re-assess the room and ask if either a mouth guard, sweatband, or arm band has gone missing. Question the parents about the Spirit Games. Rossi and JJ, I need you to look into the alumni on the board of the Spirit Games. Get Garcia to do checks on all potential members who had gone to the State College of Florida; correlate it to our profile. Reid, you’re coming with me. We’re going to the State College of Florida. Y/N may I have a brief word?”

Y/N looked towards Spencer. She knew that Hotch would want to speak to her. There was no way he would ignore her bursting into the room, not only holding onto Spencer for dear life, but also looking as dishevelled as she did.

Letting go of Spencer’s hand, she turned to follow Hotch out of the door. As they stood in the hallway, Y/N couldn’t stay quiet with the anxiety pushing her thoughts out of her mouth.

“Hotch, I know it doesn’t look the best, but I promise that Spencer and I were not fraternising.”

She couldn’t handle the blank stare that Hotch aimed towards her, so she continued to talk.

“When I got the position on the team, I made sure my anxiety was under control. I went to therapy. I learnt techniques and I took steps away when I felt overwhelmed. I made sure not to overwork myself. It was going fine. But this case made it feel like we were getting nowhere. I didn’t want you all coming back to find out I had found nothing new. I began to get anxious and I fled the room before you came in. Spencer found me in one of the interrogation rooms. He helped calm me down from my panic attack. I promise you, that’s all that happened. I will keep it under control.”

Hotch waited for Y/N to finish talking, allowing her to take some breathes.

“We all have things we want to keep to ourselves from the team. Privacy is hard to have in this line of work. I didn’t tell anyone about Hailey and I separating until months after. But something like anxiety needs to be told. We can help you Y/N, you’ve seen that yourself today.”

Y/N nodded her head.

“Coping with anxiety and panic attacks do not make you inept to be a part of this team. Each one of us deal with something that make us believe that were a hinderance. But it’s not and it will never be. So, I know it’s hard, but stop worrying about how the team view you. Your part of the family now and if that means having to take a step away or flagging someone over to help calm a panic attack then by all means do it. But I can say that it seems like the best person helped you today.”

Y/N blushed at Hotch’s words, noticing the ghost of a smile on the man’s face.

“Now go to the room and take a rest. When you feel up to it, join Rossi and JJ with contacting Penelope when looking into the alumni and Spirit Games board. You’ve been a massive help so far, don’t think otherwise.”

Hotch squeezed Y/N’s shoulder as he walked past her to re-enter the room.

She watched as each member filed out to go to their assigned task. Her eyes caught Spencer’s as he left the room. Just as he began to walk towards her, Hotch called Spencer over; insisting that they left straight away.

Y/N mouthed bye to Spencer as he waved back. Their gaze not breaking until he walked out of the precinct.

Heading back into the room, Y/N notice Rossi and JJ in discussion.

“Hey guys, is it alright if I take a quick nap? It’ll only be 10 minutes at most.”

Rossi and JJ smiled towards Y/N. The team having been debriefed slightly by Hotch about what had occurred. She didn’t mind. Like Hotch said, they were family and they were there to help.

Rossi opened his arms as he beckoned Y/N into his embrace. She followed his orders and wrapped her arms around her superior. She smiled as JJ rubbed her arms and leaned her head on hers in comfort.

“Take all the time you need Sleeping Beauty; we will be right here.”

Y/N chuckled at Rossi’s nickname for her.

Releasing herself from the hold, she thanked her two friends as she laid down on the sofa. Shifting to become comfortable, her eyes instantly rolled shut from the fatigue of the emotions that had flooded from her body in the past 45 minutes. It didn’t take long until she was deep in the world of sleep.

Rustling and conversation could be heard as Y/N slipped back into conscious. Her eyes still heavy as she refused to open them for a little longer. She could hear the voices of the team around her.

“Is everything packed and ready to go?”

“Looks like it, just got to wake Sleeping Beauty up and we can head to the jet. What don’t you give her true loves kiss, Prince Charming?”

“Actually, Prince Charming is in affiliation to the story of Cinderella. You mean to refer to Prince Philip from the Disney production. In Sleeping Beauty’s original story, the “hero” is a king who meets a beautiful sleeping princess and decides to rape and impregnate her while she’s sleeping. So, I think I will just awaken her as one usually would.”

Y/N couldn’t help but giggle at Spencer’s rebuttal to Morgan.

“Well, it doesn’t seem like you need to Pretty Boy, because Sleeping Beauty is awake.”

Y/N opened her eyes as she rubbed them excessively to clear her vision. She saw Spencer sat on the edge of the couch, his satchel at his feet. Looking around the room, she noticed all the team’s stuff packed; her bag and coat neatly laid on the table. The only people in the room was her, Spencer and Morgan.

“How long was I asleep for?”

“4 hours, 2 minutes, and 36 seconds from when JJ text us that you had fallen asleep.”

Y/N groaned at the clarification that she had slept so long. By the lucks of the packed-up items, the team had found the unsub.

“I can’t believe I slept through everything. Someone should have awoken me.”

Derek chuckled as he threw his back over his shoulder, grabbing the last two boxes in the room.

“We were going to but Prince Phillip over here went into a ramble about the importance of sleep in relation to dealing with anxiety and stress. Just following the doctor’s orders. Even Hotch was afraid to go against his wishes. We’re leaving in five, so I’ll meet you both downstairs.”

Derek left the room, leaving Y/N and Spencer sitting in baited silence.

Neither knew what to say. They had crossed over into a territory of friendship that neither were expecting. Feelings that weren’t apparent before was now clear to themselves. Y/N had always found Spencer fascinating. Spencer was usually weary of new team members, but he had warmed to Y/N very quickly. He wouldn’t have touched her hands if he hadn’t.

“We better not leave them waiting any longer, or else they’ll think I’ve fallen to sleep again.”

Spencer chuckled at Y/N, following her actions as she grabbed her bag. He walked to the door, waiting for her as she put on her coat. Holding the door open, Spencer gestured for Y/N to leave first, the woman thanking him as he turned off the light behind her.

Luckily, the police station was close to the hanger. As Y/N and Spencer joined the team outside, it took them not even 10 minutes to arrive by car.

As the team boarded the jet, idle conversation flowed between the group. Talks of weekend plans and food that would be ordered when people arrived home.

Y/N stood from her seat by Emily and across from Spencer and Morgan.

“No one look at my cards. I’m going to make a coffee, does anyone want one?”

There was a chorus of no from the group as she walked to make her drink.

Pouring the liquid into her cup, Y/N’s chest suddenly felt tight. Her hands beginning to shake; spilling the hot liquid on her hand. Hissing at the pain, she went into the bathroom to put her hand under cold water. As the pain. In her hand subsided, the one in her chest rose again. She could feel another panic attack happening. The only thought she had was to get to Spencer.

Opening the bathroom door, she felt relief as she noticed that Spencer now sat alone on the sofa, flickering through some paperwork that they would more than likely complete once they got back to Quantico.

Not even thinking, Y/N headed straight for Spencer, startling him as she plopped down beside him.

Y/N took deep breathes, once again matching them with Spencer’s.

Spencer glanced at Y/N as he recognised what she was doing. Not wanting to cause a scene with the team which could elevate Y/N’s anxiety Spencer nonchalantly linked his left hand with Y/N’s right one. Repeating the actions, he had done so in the interrogation room.

“What’s your favourite dinosaur?”

Y/N looked over at Spencer as he asked the question. She watched as he put down the file; giving her his undivided attention. Her eye’s flashed down to his socks as she relayed his question in her head.

“My favourite dinosaur is the Apatosaurus. But my favourite prehistoric creature is the Carcharocles Megalodon.”

Spencer couldn’t help but beam at Y/N’s answer.

“Did you know that even though megalodons and dinosaurs are both extinct, they never coexisted. The dinosaurs died out about 66 million years ago. Megalodons came later. The oldest megalodon fossils are from the Miocene Epoch, which began 23 million years ago.”

Y/N felt the pain in her chest ease as she turned to face Spencer, her hands unconsciously moving to fiddle with the one in his grasp. Spencer tried to keep the colour of his cheeks down as he felt her play with his fingers.

“It makes sense.”

Spencer looked at her in confusion.

“Why?”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh as she answered.

“Because Megalodons would have ruled during the dinosaur’s existence. The minute they go near the water, bam, Megalodon has its dinner.”

Falling deeper into their conversation, Y/N and Spencer were blissfully unaware of the attention from the team they were receiving.

“They seem to be enjoying each other’s company.”

The team chuckled at JJ’s remark.

“Look closely folks because we’re going to be telling this story at their wedding one day.”

The team looked on, watching as the two profilers interacted.

They may not have known Y/N long, but they had all known Spencer long enough to know that what they were seeing was the beginning of something incredibly special.

‘There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.’- Sarah Dessen.

A/N- I will be looking into other subjects in my next imagines so I hope you enjoy. The way I’ve portrayed anxiety and panic attacks is how I have experienced them in ways. I haven’t gone into depths how truly bad I have dealt with them because I’m writing it for the character. So I understand please understand if it doesn’t reflect how you may deal or know someone who deals with anxiety and panic attacks experience it. X

Tagged list- @danielleslegacy

#spencer reid imagines #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #Matthew Gray Gubler #matthew gray gubler imagine #matthew gray gubler imagines #matthew gray gubler x reader #criminal minds imagine #Criminal Minds #criminal minds x reader

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elejahfanfic · 4 years

Text

The Vampire Files/5

Fanfiction

Part 5

AU story with tvd/to characters, but also with many others from different fandoms like Nick Amaro _Law&Order svu, that I am borrowing here. And Joel Goran from Saving Hope etc.

Main pairing_ Nick Amaro and Elena Gilbert

Nick and Elena are FBI Agents investigating supernatural activities and homocide caused vampires and demons.

Expect witches, demons, vampires. Inspired by X-files, Twin Peaks, and many other shows

✺◟(❛‿❛)◞✺

tag_ @miguelsbrat

thanks so much for reading xoxo

♡♤◇♧

“Right- I’m gonna go” Nick took his coat from the chair.

“No- we still didn’t finish discussing the latest,” Elena said shooting a very significant look at her partner, “plus Jenna is making her special lasagne and you got to try it.”

Nick wavered for a second, and then put the coat back on the chair, and sat down at the table.

Elena turned to Joel, now asking him to follow her to the small entrance hall.

“I’m sorry, but we got to work on the case.” Elena said to the surgeon.

“Yeah, I see” Joel said. “I should have called.”

“Yeah, you should have” Elena nodded a little, biting a nervous gulp back.

“Ok” Joel inhaled, twisting his lips. “I’m not going to keep you - I just - wanted to tell you that the other night was amazing and it made me realize that I fucked up and - I won’t give up”

“Joel” Elena started, but he now stopped her before she could continue, pulling her into a deep, long kiss.

In the living room, Nick couldn’t help but overhear them. Unexpected feelings rushed through him, causing his heart to strangely pump with jealousy. Where was this coming from? He barely knew Elena. And these feelings welling up inside him were something he now tried to shrug off.

Sometimes, someone comes into your life, so unexpectedly, takes your heart by surprise, and changes your life forever.

Camille’s words shot out of nowhere. Yes, he cared about her and that was it. There was nothing more.

He now tossed his phone on the table.

“Amaro, everything all right?” Elena said as she walked back in the living room.

“Yes, why?”

“I hope you are not angry that I kind of invited you to stay for dinner. I just -”

“Hey - what are partners for - “

“Yeah - this was so childish of me - it’s just - things are complicated between me and Joel and - “

“You don’t have to explaind.It’s all good. I would have grabbed some food on the way home from the diner. But home cooked is always better.”

“It is. Ok - a beer?” Elena offered and then remembered that there was none. “Ice-cream?”

“Well, actually, I will have some ice-cream.” Nick then said.

“Chocolate chip fudge mint? Or plain chocolate?”

“Plain chocolate, thank you.”

As she served him the ice-cream, they went on discussing the case, which was scrapped after Jenna returned from a shopping spree. She was more than pleased that Nick stayed for dinner.

Darkness was consuming Elena, and Jenna wanted so badly to get her out of it, although she knew that that could never be. But, at least, she could balance it with some normalcy, and that night the trio enjoyed some time out form the world, sharing stories of their childhood, laughing and joking.

***

Days passed by and the investigation about Elena's attack led to yet another dead end. Stefan and Valerie still didn’t let themselves be defeated. There was more to dig and so they continued digging, which led them to Lorenzo St. John, an eighty year old man, in the heart of New York.

In Whitmore

"She wore a very ancient cut of the Lapis lazuli. The one that counteract the wiles of the spirits of darkness and procure the aid and favor of the spirits of light and wisdom." Bonnie said to her fellow forensic science professor, Damon Somer.

"So, she is not just an FBI Agent?!" Damon said.

"I don't know. According to the myth, only a demon huntress wore one"

"So, you think she killed the vampire?" Damon asked.

"I went back to the woods and there was no trace of it. So, if she is the huntress- then- huh, I couldn't save Lexi-" Bonnie's eyes watered.

"Stop beating yourself up. You did your best. You have no magic anymore. There is nothing you could have done"-Damon tried to comfort her.

"You know that others will come"- Bonnie then said.

Damon just sighed.

"I have class- so, see you later?!"- Damon said waving goodbye to his friend.

Bonnie went back to her work. But her mind remained restless.

***** In Washington, D.C., the following day

Elena walked into the office. Nick was already there, finishing some paperwork.

Without any particular hello, Elena asked for the file on Lexi Branson.

"How did it go upstairs?" he referred to her meeting with the Field director passing the file to her.

"The usual. I kinda managed to convince him that all is interconnected and he kinda agreed we work with Stefan- Agent Salvatore and Agent Tulle"

"Kinda?" Nick looked at her accentuating the word.

"We still don't have the green light, but - we will get it. Till then it's just shuffling intel" Elena explained.

"No green light, no shuffling!" Nick said firmly.

Elena narrowed his eyes at him. Being so by the book made her blood start to simmer slightly. She had to live with many loopholes, otherwise she would not have survived in the world of demons and darkness. And yet he was there to balance things out, as the director put it out to her.

She sat down at her desk and went through the file.

"Didn't we close this case?"

"She was not just any kind of random kill," Elena said,"she moved to Mystic Falls from Portland. And look at the tattoo on the neck"

Nick walked over to her and she gave him the picture.

"Ankh-Egyptian sign - life!" Nick remarked.

"I don't think it's a random tattoo. Witches wore it."

"Where are you going with this?"

"Trying to make a connection between all the desiccated women. They all had a tattoo on the neck" Elena said.

"But they were not Egyptian?!"

"No. But each of the women had some connection with the occult."

"Serial killing -desiccating in different States for an occult purpose?!" Nick concluded.

"Something tells me that this not the end" Elena put her thought out to him.

"You still believe it is connected to the attempt on your life?"

"It could be. And then it could not" Elena said closing the file.

An e-mail alert on the computer swayed her from the topic.

"One thing is for sure -there is no rest for the wicked" she said as she read a report that had just come in.

Nick opened the e-mail himself on his computer and read,"Desiccated woman, age 22, found near New Orleans, Bayou, with bite markings on her wrists"

"Now do you believe me?" Elena said tilting her head poignantly.

"Believe? All this is not a coincidence? Yeah. There is a network of serial killers on the loose." NIkc said picking up the phone scheduling the next flight to New Orleans.

He glanced at Elena. Her face went grim. It looked like it lost all the life in her. She browsed rapidly through her files.

"Want to share?"

"No. Just checking stuff on New Orleans- sending you mail on your phone, so we are n'sync," she said,"when is our flight?"

"5:40 p.m." Nick said.

"Right. We have time to meet Bonnie Bennett"

"The forensic from Withmore?"

"Yes. I called her"

"Her report was very thorough," Nick said,"but I guess this is about the talisman she wore?!"

"Exactly. I did some digging. It is worn by a Wicca Society, well, a very ancient Wicca Council - five covens of very powerful witches put their chosen witch to protect the source of all magic"

"This is all about someone messing with the source of all magic?!"

"Bingo! You are really good! I am impressed."

"You are not serious?!" Nick looked at her slightly gone out.

"I'm deadly serious!" Elena cocked an surprised eyebrow at her partner.

Elena knew that his rational brain was not yet willing to accept that there was this whole other world out there that divided this world with the other by a thin veil that people like her encounter all of their lives.

Her phone buzzed and she now read Jenna's message.

"E's adoptive mother is a Dumas werewolf"

**** In the courthouse

Caroline put her phone down not happy with the intel she got about a case. Klaus approached her reading from her sour face that there was trouble.

"They found McKenzie dead. Drowned in his bathtub"- Caroline informed him.

"Not surprised" Klaus said.

"Montgomery is going to walk!! Ugh!" Caroline was fuming as the case was going to collapse without their key witness.

"Come on, we both need a large bourbon. I'm buying" Klaus invited the feisty assistant D.A.

"I am a Martini girl" Caroline said.

"Three olives?" Klaus said.

"Yeah- how do you know?" Caroline was amazed that he knew that particularity.

"Last Christmas you sent the drink back cuz the waitress forgot the three olives!"

"Well, she didn't do her job of listening to me when she took the order" Caroline fought her corner.

"You being particular is one of your strong points. You run the office way better than I do at times.” he complimented her.

"One day I plan to take it over" Caroline said without flinching.

"And so very ambitious!"

"What you see is what you get" Caroline said as they got out of the courthouse.

For quite a while he loved everything about her but kept it to himself.

***

At the same time in the park, near Elena’s favourite diner, Elena and Nick met up with Bonnie. Elena showed Bonnie two photos of a shaman and a woman, who carried the same protective amulet as she did.

"Have you ever met them before?" Elena asked straight forward waiting for Bonnie's reaction.Bonnie didn't hide the fact that she knew them.

"That's Rayna Cruz and Xander Drummond," Bonnie said,"we were at college together. They are now in CSI NY"

"What do you know about the Council of Five?" Elena continued to quizz her.

All Bonnie's suspicions about Elena were now confirmed as her look was telling her that she was not going to accept partial truths, indicating to her that she was part of the same darkness that had been enveloping them from birth.

"It's something like a Dead Poets Society" Bonnie replied.

"Right. Seize the day thing," Elena said, "don't believe you"

"That's what it was. A college thing. We loved the movie so much, so we made out this group- and we still meet once a year. We are something like a sorority/fraternity but different"

"Can I become a member or is it a closed off thing?" Elena then asked.

"If you wish," Bonnie replied,"we do a mean barbicue"

"Where are you meeting this year?" Elena continued with the inqusition.

"Whitmore" Bonnie said.

"Great. Count us in"- Elena finished.

Nick, who was letting her quiz Bonnie without interruptions now looked at Elena with wtf expression on his face.

"Thanks for coming all the way out to D.C. - but I really needed you to identify these two officers." Elena said getting up, “Thank you for coming.”

As they left the diner, and got into the car to head to the airport, Nick could not keep his discontent to himself.

"I guess you and Kenner often played off each other in bizarre situations as these, but, seriously wtf was that about?"

"Stefan and - Salvatore and Tulle" Elena corrected herself,” found out that the Council of Five is connected to a case - Francesca Guerrera involving Kai Parker."

"Kai Parker, who disappeared in 2011," Nick said,"which has never been solved"

"No." Elena said, and was cut off as they were interrupted by an important phone call.

“It’s Benson.” Nick said and took the call.

Elena's mind swayed to the Parker case. Although she and Jackson were not directly involved in it, she was consulted about certain artefacts they found in Kai's apartment.

Flashback

"The Parkers are members of a very powerful witch coven. Gemini" Jackson said.

"But there was no proof of it anywhere. Those artefacts proved only that he was into voodoo, bringing stuff over from Haiti, but there was no proof of practice" Elena said.

"You and I both know it was planted there, to sway them from the real truth"

"That they killed their own son and disposed of him in a way that I don't even want to think about?!" Elena concluded.

"Well, you know that anything is possible. The myths about demonic covens says they don't stop at nothing"

"Double negation!" Elena joked a little.

"Gilbert?" Nick repeated twice to get her attention as it was obvious she was somewhere far away in her thoughts.

"What?" Elena muttered turning to the Agent.

"You switched off," he said."Right. I was just trying to connect certain missing dots."

"Resulting in?" he teased a bit."That I actually need a triple shot of moccacino and a tub of ice-cream. My brain is not really functioning"

"Well, we are soon going to be in the Big Easy so I can imagine you will stuff yourself with sweet potatoe pie!"

"I am actually looking forward to beignets!" Elena gave him a there you have it look.They got out of the car and proceeded to the departure lounge.

***

In New Orleans

Marcel sat down with Aya, a witch asking him to lay his left hand out ready to cut in the palm.

"The nightmares will go away, you promise?" he asked for assurance.

"With this you will be rid of your past"- Aya reassured him-"there will only be future from now on. So, once again, are you sure you want to do it?"

Marcel hesitated for a moment, but then agreed-

"Yes, I want it gone. Forever"

Aya cut into Marcel's hand and as the blood dripped into a bowl with other ingredients already prepared the witch chanted an old spell making all the memories of the past erase from his mind. The strange spell had a very powerful effect on Marcel, making him drowsy, which gave the witch a moment to collect some of his blood in a separate bowl.

There'll be no rest for the wicked There's no song for the choir There's no hope for the weary If you let them win without a fight I let my good one down I let my true love die I had his heart but I broke it every time

_to be continued

#nick amaro #elena gilbert #fanfiction #crossover au #fanfiction tvd au #alternative universe #nicklena #joel goran

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joiesomer · 5 years

Text

Now or Never | Rainling

Who: Somer Rainault ( @joiesomer ) & Jeff Sterling ( @xjefferxx )

Where: an off-campus pool party; the dance studios; Schuester 107, Somer’s room

When: 10 Jul 2019

Notes/Triggers: nsfw

Somer raked his fingers back through his hair before pushing the gate open. He knew a couple of the people who were going to be here from sharing classes with them, and he wasn't sure if he ought to go hang with basically strangers, but Jeff had said 'pretty please' -- and Somer was discovering that he was very susceptible to Jeff's pleading hazel eyes. Anyway it was a pool party, and he did love to be in the water. So he walked into the enclosed patio area and waved at everybody, looking as casually as possible for Jeff.

His heart thumped when he finally caught sight of the blond, having a casual conversation and tossing his hair out of his eyes. Somer felt his mouth dry up -- Jeff was shirtless already, in just swim shorts, and the memory of the other day came back quite strongly. Jeff's hands on him. A drink. He needed a drink. He made a beeline for the coolers, and found a bottle of dry cider, cracking it and draining half the contents immediately.

Jeff was invited to a pool party with some friends. He felt that it was kind of important to invite Somer. More then just wanting him there, he wanted to interact with him with people around. He had been there some time before he saw Somer come in. Jeff smiled to him but saw him run to the drinks, so he just turned away. He knew this was going to be different for them but he hoped it would be okay in the end.

Maybe it was true alcohol made you brave. Somer didn't know. He carried his bottle over to where Jeff was, slipping up beside him and waiting to be noticed. "Have you claimed a chair?" he whispered to Jeff in a lull in the conversation.

Jeff smiled, turning to him and wrapping his arm around Somer's waist. "No, I haven't but you want us to find one?" He nudged and kissed his cheek. Fuck caring who saw right now. He introduced him to the girl he was talking to before, smiling as he still held him some.

Somer leaned in to Jeff's hold without thinking about it, though he had to step away to hold out his hand to the girl. She was cute, he thought, but Jeff was cuter. Then he realised what he was thinking and buried his face in his cider bottle again. What was happening to him? "I'm gonna go find a chair to leave my shoes and shirt on, okay?" he said to Jeff, looking up at him.

Jeff nodded, letting him go. He watched him as he walked away. Though he wanted to follow, he knew this all had to be a bit slower with others around, though he knew seeing him shirtless was going to drive him a little nuts.

An hour later, Somer had been through three bottles of cider, hurled himself into the pool with a wild yell, wrestled underwater with Jeff and at least two other guys, and was now the bottom half of one team of chicken. He didn't even remember the name of the girl on his shoulders, but it didn't matter. He was having far too much fun. He tossed his hair out of his eyes, and that made him wobble at just the wrong time, and he and the girl went over in a laughing breathless heap into the water.

When they came back up to the whoops and hollers of the winning team, Somer slicked his hair out of his face to find the girl wrapping her arms around his neck, her legs around his hips, and gluing her lips to his. He tried to backpedal, arms going around her totally by instinct so she wouldn't fall, and tripped over his own feet underwater, going under again with a splash.

Jeff hadn't seen Somer like this; he seemed really relaxed but then again, he had been drinking. It was something, playing in the pool and just having a good time. Maybe this would be okay, maybe they would work together in the end if he was able to let go this much. They had been close and semi-cuddly with others around, though Jeff knew it was all the alcohol in the end.

Jeff had just gotten out of the pool, going for a soda when he heard whooping. He turned to see what it was and stopped dead in his tracks. There in the pool was Somer, kissing a girl. Not just that, he was holding her and going under the water with her as well. He didn't say anything, just grabbed his shirt and bag, walking out as he fought back tears of anger and pain.

Somer managed to disentangle himself from the girl, pushing her away, and came up just in time to see Jeff snatch up his shirt. The way the dancer was moving, Somer could tell instantly something was wrong. Shit. The girl tried to wind herself around him again, and absently he shifted aside, diving under the water and pushing as fast as he could for the edge. "Jeff!" he called, but over the sound of the party he was pretty sure the blond didn't hear him. Somer heaved himself out, streaming, trying to catch his balance. "/Jeff/!"

Jeff was gone, he was out the front door and running. He didn't stop until he reached his safe place, stepping in and sliding against the wall. He curled up to cry. He had put himself out there so much, he had told Somer how he felt and maybe he was asking too much of Somer to think that he'd want to just figure them out, that he wouldn't reach out for someone else. Turning the music up, he let it flow through his body and blood, trying to get his mind off the pain that was ripping him down.

The redhead spat swearwords like watermelon seeds, utterly ignoring every other person in favour of the knot that had tied itself in his gut and started sinking. He could picture, with despair, exactly what Jeff thought he'd seen, and after their time together the other day ... well. His eyes were hot, but he couldn't afford to cry right now. He had to be able to see, so he could find Jeff.

He didn't have any clear memories of leaving the party, only of stumbling up the steps to the AXi house and banging on the door. "Jeff!" he yelled, stepped back and looking at the window to the dancer's room. "Jeff, please! Please talk to me!" His voice cracked on the last word.

Jeff was deep in his head as the music ran through. He was moving to it, ignoring the world and everything that was around him. He didn't care who saw him, he just had to release, even as tears fell from his eyes.

Tyler finally stuck his head out of the window, looking bleary-eyed and tousled. "The fuck you want, Rainault?" he shouted. "Some of us are tryin' to sleep!"

"Where's Jeff?!" Somer yelled back, fists clenching at his sides. He knew he must look a sight, shirt sticking to his chest, hair dripping, but he didn't care. He /had/ to find Jeff. Every minute seemed to pulse in his chest. He'd seen the shattering in the lines of Jeff's body, a kind of breakage that words wouldn't hold.

"Party," Tyler shouted back down. "With you, idiot!"

"He ran away," Somer said, voice catching again.

Tyler shrugged, leaning back. "Then he's at the studio." He slammed the window shut, and Somer just stood there, blinking.

By now Jeff wasn't really crying anymore. The music was taking him over and he had to just give in. His dance, though, for anyone that saw, they could see the pain he felt with each move. He knew he had to work out the jumps yet, but right now he was just on point and letting all his body choose the movements.

This time Somer made only one stop. He allowed himself to take the time to stop by his room and grab his notebook, the private one he never shared with anyone else. There was something in there Jeff needed to see. Then he ran, head down and legs pumping, toward the Fine Arts building, blindly pushing his way down the stairs, and nearly collided with the door of the dance studio he knew Jeff favoured.

Fear shocked through him then. What if Jeff refused to speak to him, refused to let him explain? What if he'd screwed up this thing, this glorious thing that was the best thing to ever happen to him, and he couldn't ever recover it? His hand shook on the handle. But if he didn't at least try, he'd regret it forever. Carefully Somer turned the handle, clutching his notebook to his chest, and stopped dead in the doorway.

Jeff was dancing.

Somer thought he had seen Jeff shattering at the pool. He knew better now. Every motion, every turn and step and leap whimpered heartbreak. The tears Somer had been holding back broke loose.

Jeff had just finished a leap and spin when he saw Somer standing there. Stopping, his eyes read of the pain, the hurt and the anger, all of what his lips weren't saying. Stopping the music, he stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, looking away. Somer was crying? In Jeff's mind, Somer didn't get to cry. He didn't put himself out there with how he felt only to have Jeff kiss someone else, no. He wouldn't look at him, just stood and waited, wondering if he'd even say anything.

He didn't step into the room. It would have been an invasion. This was Jeff's space. Somer smeared at the tearstreaks on his face and looked at Jeff. "I'm sorry," he said, voice breaking for the third time. "I didn't -- she just grabbed me. I didn't know she was going to k-kiss me. Please, Jeff, you have to believe me."

Jeff bit his lip, tears falling. "You didn't push her away ... you didn't even try to push her away. You held her!" His voice got louder as he shook his head. "It's fine though, it's cool, you told me you didn't know for sure what you were and you were confused so now I'm sure you know and it's fine." He sighed heavily. "I put myself out there you know, I put myself out there for you. I told you over and over again I don't do this, I don't go on dates, I don't do feelings like this with anyone because of this, because I'm so damn scared that I'll get hurt. Then I met you and I guess I was too stupid to think that maybe you wouldn't hurt me that you wouldn't go kiss someone else." Jeff ran his fingers through his hair. "I put myself out there for you ... and now I feel like my heart is ripped out and shattered."

Somer was crushed. "I was falling," he objected, voice choked. "I was falling, and she grabbed me, her legs were all wrapped around me, and I thought she was falling too." He hugged his notebook to his chest, head drooping. "You're my first kiss. My first everything, honestly." Somer closed his eyes, swallowing a sob. "I didn't mean to. I didn't want to be kissing her. I want to be kissing you."

His head shot up as Somer said the last words to him. "Don't lie to me Somer. Don't lie to me," his words an intense whisper as he shook where he stood. "I've never lied to you so don't lie to me. I saw you in the pool ... I know what I saw."

The redhead flinched back. "Don't," he choked. "Don't, don't say that, please. I'm not lying. I'm not, I -- ask them! I came right after you. I didn't know she was going to do that, I didn't want her to, I don't -- " Somer ran out of words. He clutched the notebook, then shoved it at Jeff. "Here. The last one. I made it for you, after ... after. I made it for you. It's yours."

He had wanted to share that poem with Jeff and see how Jeff reacted. But that obviously wasn't going to be an option now. He held out the little brown notebook, waiting for the dancer to take it, ready to flee immediately.

Jeff was about to push past him and leave. He couldn't trust his words now, not really. When the book was thrust at him, he gave him the chance and read it.

He couldn't watch Jeff read it. That was a piece of his heart on paper, and if this was the end he couldn't bear to see Jeff toss his heart aside. Somer turned aside, burying his face in his hands. He wanted to curl up and die, but his legs were shaking too much to let him take more than a few steps.

Once he was finished, Jeff tossed the journal over to his things and called out for Somer. When the other boy returned, he took a deep breath. "Say it," he whispered. "Tell me what you're trying to say in that poem please," his words going soft and high pitched. His heart was still breaking but if Somer really meant it then he had to say it.

The slap of the notebook hitting the floor made Somer jerk, fresh tears coming to his eyes. But then Jeff called out to him, and he turned back, slowly. Their date flashed back into his head. The text he'd written to Hunter. "As you wish," Somer said, voice cracking in the middle. He stood in the doorway, a tear sliding down his cheek, and looked up at Jeff. "I want this. I want you. I." He had to stop for a moment, throat too choked to continue, and shook his head sharply. "I can't say it any better than those words. Those are the best words. Please."

Jeff stepped closer, putting his hand out to Somer. He didn't say anything, just hoped he'd take his hand.

Somer's breathing shook. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "God, I'm so sorry." He stumbled a few steps toward Jeff, grabbing his hand, holding on for dear life.

Jeff pulled him in close, wrapping his arms around Somer and just holding him. He held him tight as if he was trying to put them both back together. Jeff's head came to rest on Somer's shoulder, tears slipping from his eyes as he just stood there holding him and hoping Somer would do the same for him.

It took half a second for Somer to wrap his arms around Jeff's waist and bury his face in the dancer's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he sobbed again.

Jeff shook his head, moving his head back to lay his forehead against Somer's. "Stop saying that and show me. Show me ... " he whispered, his eyes still shut, wondering how Somer was going to show him.

Somer wailed, "I don't know how! I don't know how to do any of this!" He opened his eyes, glittering with tears, to look at Jeff.

Jeff looked at him. "Kiss me, gingerbread, you crazy beautiful boy ... " he whispered to him. "Just fucking kiss me like you love me."

The redhead gulped, then disentangled them enough that he could reach up to push Jeff's hair out of those hazel eyes. His fingertips trailed along Jeff's cheek, cupping it, before he pushed up on his toes to seal his mouth to Jeff's.

Jeff leaned into his touch; oh, how he loved Somer's touch on his skin. Kissing him back, Jeff scooped down and picked Somer up off the ground to make it easier as they kissed. He wasn't about to pull away, wanting, no, needing to feel this after all the pain he had just felt.

Somer barely noticed as Jeff picked him up, only settling his arms around the dancer's shoulders and wrapping his legs around his hips. It was the same way the girl had held on to him, but this was different. Worlds different. He kissed Jeff the way he'd been dreaming about, the way he'd been holding back from since their first kiss. Kissed him like Jeff was water and Somer had been in a desert. "I'm sorry," he whispered into that kiss. "I was afraid of losing you, and I almost did to something that wasn't even my fault, and I don't ever want to do that again."

Jeff held him up; he was as light as a feather in his arms. They were kissing as they were always meant to kiss, like the world around them was black and white, only they were in color. When Somer spoke, Jeff tugged his lip. "Don't go kissing other people anymore ... accident or not." Jeff fully broke the kiss. "I can't ... I can't take it. I've put my all out there with you and I can't lose you, not now or ever. " He put their foreheads together again.

The writer choked on a watery giggle. "It's been two weeks," he murmured. "I feel like I'm falling really fast, okay?" He kissed Jeff again, because the words weren't coming.

"Two weeks or not, I know I'm falling in love with you ... whales," Jeff replied, kissing him again and setting him on his feet. Pulling from the kiss, he waited, wanting and telling Somer with his eyes, he was still on the hook and asking what was next.

"Whales?" Somer repeated, starting to grin, then started to laugh until he couldn't breathe. He had to hold on to Jeff to keep his balance. "Blondie, oh, oh my god," he whooped at last, breathless from the swing between emotions. Picking up Jeff's hand, he turned it over and kissed the palm. "I'm shaking inside," he said, softly. "Like jello. Like a ten on the richter scale earthquake."

He kissed each fingertip, then each knuckle, then twined his fingers into Jeff's. "I have something else I want to share with you. Back at my room. Okay?"

Jeff was surprised when he laughed but it didn't upset him, no, it made him smile. He loved Somer's laugh, holding him to keep him from falling over. "Yeah, well that explains why you're trying to fall over on me." Gripping his hand a little tighter. With his fingers kissed, Jeff nodded. He was still unsure about Somer's feelings, he had yet to just say it, but he was willing to at least give him the night.

"I need you to go back to your room and change clothes, okay?" Somer said. He squeezed Jeff's hand. "Something comfortable. Something you feel good in. Maybe wash the chlorine out of your hair. Then I want you to come to my room. Bring whatever you need for the morning." He felt that knot in his gut again, waiting for Jeff to refuse, but he plunged on anyway. Now or never.

"I want you to stay the night with me. In my bed. I want to go to sleep with you holding me, and wake up with me holding you. Please?"

Jeff heard him talking, just listening as he looked to their fingers. "Okay," he whispered, dropping Somer's hand and grabbing his notebook. Jeff handed it back to him, before heading to his room. He took a long time, showering, changing, and, really, debating on even leaving the frat. Jeff sat on his bed, so scared for this all to just turn on him, he cried tears in silence for a bit. Finally, with contacts out, he put his glasses on and made his way to Somer's room. Jeff wore oversized clothes that fully covered him as if he was trying to hide. His arm wrapped his middle, trying to hold himself together. He knocked, waiting and using his free hand to wipe at his tears.

Somer had meant for Jeff to keep the notebook. A symbol of trust. With the writing in there, Jeff could destroy him far more than Benji had done. He'd tell him that, later, Somer decided, running back to his room. He rushed through a shower, then set up his keyboard, hands shaking. Then all he could do was wait as the hour grew later, heart in his throat, jumping at every sound. He was almost convinced Jeff wasn't coming after all.

He tripped over the legs of the keyboard stand on the way to the door, and his chest seized at the way Jeff looked. Grabbing both hands, Somer pulled Jeff inside and kicked the door shut, not caring if it slammed. The other people on the hall had been slamming doors all week. Let them suck it. He had to save this relationship.

He led the blond to his desk chair, then picked up the little notebook again. "I meant you to keep this," Somer said, heart pounding. "It's. It's like your dance. And I'm ... trusting you with it. If you w-want to hurt me, this is all you need." He put it in Jeff's hand, then walked over to the keyboard.

Jeff went when he was pulled and sat on the chair. Taking the notebook, he just nodded. At Somer walking away, he let out a noise, a whine as he didn't want him to walk away. He wanted him there by him. Whatever the keyboard was for, it would have to wait. Right now, Jeff was more in need of his physical touch then he could form words for.

The redhead's head snapped up at the sound. "No?" he asked.

Jeff felt the tears pile in his eyes as he reached out for Somer. He wanted to hear it, he did but he wanted him more right now.

"Jeff ... " Somer breathed, heart aching. He went over, taking the blond's hand, and bending down just enough to kiss him. This was a gentle kiss, much softer than the kisses in the dance studio. "Blondie, please don't cry," Somer begged. "I'm here. I'm right here, I want you to be here, I don't know what else to say to you."

Jeff didn't kiss back, but he did pull Somer into his lap and hugged his waist as he started to cry. Tears streamed down his cheek as he just held the redhead in his arms. This. This was what he wanted, to hold Somer, for Somer to touch him and hold him too. To hear him say it finally, say what he knew the boy had put in poems and song. "Please Somer, don't write, don't sing it, just say it, please," he said through tears.

"What more do you want me to say?" he begged. "I said I want you, I want to be with you. What else?"

Jeff shook his head, he had asked him over and over again tonight. He didn't know how else to ask or beg or plead with him to say it. Say what Jeff had had the courage to say to him in the beginning, that he wanted him, that he liked him, what he liked. He needed Somer to just word vomit to him.

Somer closed his eyes, heart breaking. "Jeff, please," he whispered. "I ... do you even know what you've done to me? Every time you even look at me, I can't see anyone else. You were my first kiss, and now all I want is for you to be my only kiss. I don't even know how it happened, how you got ahold of my heart and just ran off with it -- maybe it's your smile. Or the way your hair falls over your face -- I don't know!" His voice rose in intensity.

"I've never been in love before. I don't know if that's what this is, but I know when you left that party all I could think of was following you. You make me feel like I'm flying, and oh god I'm terrified I'm going to fall and I think maybe I already have, fallen for you. God, I don't know, but you look at me, you touch me and I'm just lost." Somer buried his face in Jeff's shoulder. "I don't even have anything else to give you because you already have all of it. My heart, my body, my soul, I think I'd walk through fire for you and I don't even know how that happened!" The redhead gasped in a breath, trembling, eyes wide but blind with tears.

There it was. Jeff felt the weight on him suddenly lift, the tears dry in his eyes. He felt like he could breathe now, his arms wrapping Somer's waist a little tighter. He nuzzled at him, trying to get him to look at him and when he did, Jeff put his forehead to Somer's and just looked into his eyes. "Thank you. Thank you for telling me, I know you said you wanted me here but I needed to know how much, I needed to know how you felt from your lips." The words were shared in a whisper. "I don't want to let you go. Could I hold you while you play or something?"

The redhead shook his head, shaking like a leaf in Jeff's arms. "I can't play now. I can't. It would -- " He lifted a hand to where Jeff could see it, see how it was trembling.

Jeff took his hand, kissing his fingers and then his cheek. "Maybe we should just lay down ... you did say I could hold you and you hold me. I'd really like to hold you." His words were still so soft, as if he spoke any louder everything would shatter.

"I'm not even sure I can move," Somer confessed. "Jeff, blondie, there is a reason I write those things and this is why."

"Because saying them makes you shake?" Jeff asked, holding his hand in his own.

"Because it's exhausting. Really emotionally exhausting."

Jeff chuckled softly. "Yeah, it really is." Caressing his cheek. "I could carry you, if you're okay with it." He offered the idea, because right now, he just kind of wanted to lay with him.

Somer nodded, looping his arms around Jeff's neck. "You could maybe take off your shirt too," he whispered.

"Only if you do too," Jeff replied, standing and moving them to the bed. He laid with his back against the wall, pulling his shirt off and slipping under the blanket to wait for Somer to join him there.

"I -- I picked this one so you could take it off me," Somer confessed. He waited a moment to steady his breathing, then rucked the covers down and stretched himself out next to Jeff. One hand came up to balance himself against that bare chest and another shudder rippled through the redhead.

Jeff nodded, then took Somer's shirt off him. Laying on his back, he felt Somer's shiver and touch to his body. Reaching up, he caressed his cheek. "Come here," he whispered, pulling him down so they could kiss once more.

"As you wish," Somer smiled into the kiss. He shifted until he was partly on top of Jeff, feeling the way the other boy's warmth and touch eased the trembling away.

Jeff kissed back, fingers weaving into Somer's hair. He couldn't feel or focus on anything else but how it felt to be shirtless and kissing as they were. Pulling back for a moment, Jeff whispered, "Does this mean you're my boyfriend?" He giggled, kissing Somer's chin.

"Nngh, stop that," Somer said, swatting at Jeff. "I think so," and saying that gave him a thrill. "Now stop kissing my chin, what the hell. There are better places to kiss me."

Jeff kissed his chin again, just to bug him before licking his cheek. "Like that? Is that better?" He laughed, actually kissing him now and tugging on his bottom lip.

Somer poked at Jeff's side, threatening to tickle him, but quickly got lost in the deep kiss. When they came up for air he'd forgotten about it. "Lie still," he said instead, sliding down to embark on a kiss exploration of Jeff's torso.

Jeff was glad he had shut him up and kept the other boy from tickling him. Being told to stay still, Jeff's brow raised then he watched Somer sink a little on him. "What are you doing?"

"Learning you," Somer murmured, his mouth against a freckle. He looked up. "Should I stop?" A flicker of fear showed in his eyes.

Jeff gasped, then shook his head. "No no, just stay above the belt for tonight." His breath shivered as it was a bit of an overload already with the hormones pumping through him.

Somer slid back up, looking at Jeff. "Oh. Okay, I can do something else."

"Wait ... you wanted to go there?" Jeff blushed once more. He had been through bjs and handjobs but no one ever wanted to touch him like that. "I've never had ... no one ... no one ever really wants me like that ... "

The redhead looked at Jeff, biting his lip. "I mean," he started, "every single time you kiss my fingers, my whole body lights up. When you ... did what you did the other day ... Jeff, I /want/ you." He swallowed. "When you say no, I stop. And I, I, I don't know what's going to happen. But I want you."

Jeff's eyes got huge for a moment. "Somer, do you want to touch me like I did you ... I know words are hard but I'm scared I'm going to misunderstand and I don't want to misunderstand you. I want you too, a lot."

"I, I, maybe?" Somer squeaked. "I'm sort of trying to nerve myself up to it?" He looked down, then back up, also flushing. "I just kind of want to touch and be touched everywhere?"

Jeff sat up on his elbows, they both were flushed and that said something. "Do you have a bath or only a shower?" he asked suddenly, having an idea that would allow both and let them be a bit more relaxed together.

Somer blinked at him, a little confused. "It's a tub ... I mean, between these two singles, it's a pretty nice tub, honestly ... "

"Then you want to touch and be touched ... so let's take a bath together, wash off the tears and everything together." Jeff sat up fully and took his sweats off to leave him in his boxers, his hand out for Somer to take. "Come on, gingerbread."

Somer shifted around so Jeff had space to move in, but kept staring at him. After a minute he said, "But you didn't want me to see you naked the other day."

"Yeah, I know ... and you weren't sure you were gay; things are different now. I want this and you but slowly so to me this is slow but still fills what we're both wanting. Now I'm getting cold and you're drooling, are you coming or am I bathing by myself?" He wiggled his brow in a teasing manner.

The redhead clapped a hand to his mouth. "I am not!" he squawked. But then he caught the eyebrow waggle, and he thought maybe he could be. A little. He scrambled off the bed, pushing off his lounging pants and lunging for the bathroom door.

Jeff giggled, "You so are and it's really cute." Running, he stopped to turn the water on and chuckled as Somer stepped in. Sitting on the counter, Jeff beckoned him closer with one finger. "Come here, boyfriend," he said, licking his lips.

Somer's eyes went very dark. He went over and locked the other door, firmly, then crossed to stand between Jeff's knees. "God, you're so gorgeous," he breathed involuntarily. His hands rested lightly on Jeff's thighs. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

Jeff licked his lips, looking Somer up and down. "Well your boxers tell me a lot." His arms came up to wrap around Somer's neck, fingers playing with the short hairs on the back of his neck. "You are the gorgeous one though, don't fool yourself."

The redhead turned brilliantly red. The counter did nothing for their difference in heights, leaving him looking up into Jeff's face, helpless under that touch.

Jeff smiled, kissing his chin and sliding off the counter. He turned the water to the tub off and turned away from him. Slipping his boxers off, jeff slipped into the tub and set a washcloth over his cock. "Come on in and join me. It's warm."

Somer felt his ears buzz with a rush of blood. Swallowing hard, he pushed his own boxers off and stepped into the bath, hiding behind his hands. "W-where do you want me?"

Jeff scooted forward, pointing behind him. "Right there, I wanna lay against you if that's alright." His eyes ran over Somer's body. He wanted to comment about how he'd seen it all but he knew if he hid then it was only fair to let Somer hide as well.

Somer stepped around him carefully, then lowered himself into the water and stretched his legs out. He helped Jeff lay back against him, the hot water forcing him to relax some. Letting out a slow breath, he rested his cheek on his ... his boyfriend's pale hair.

Jeff leaned back, shifting so his head would rest against Somer's shoulder. He looked up to him, his hand finding Somer's and bringing it to rest on Jeff's stomach as he shivered. "I trust you, so if you want to touch then you can ... "

Somer closed his eyes, breathing slowly. A shiver shook his body. "This is kinda backwards, you know," he murmured. "With you being so much taller than me." He turned his face into Jeff's hair, blindly drifting his fingertips over the blond's abs. He could feel some muscle definition, not a lot, and some marks on the skin.

Jeff hummed, biting his lip, his body was already reacting to Somer's touch. "I know but I need it this way, to feel you around me." His words wobbled as his body shivered from how the touch felt to him. "Next time, you can be little spoon." Jeff nuzzled his neck to hide some.

A terrible thought abruptly occurred to Somer. "Jeff," he whispered. "Did someone hurt you? Physically?" He laid his hand palm down, feeling the way the water smoothed over Jeff's skin, and drew it up, painting a wet line along his breastbone.

Jeff shook his head. "No, just ... I lost someone I cared about when I was young, so I find it hard to trust anyone anymore and when I did do physical things with people they didn't care to give it back, they just wanted it and I was okay with it, until I wasn't ... "

Somer wrapped his other arm around Jeff's shoulders, hugging him close. "I'm sorry," he whispered into that bright hair. "People shouldn't be used like that. I don't want to use you like that." He trailed his free hand up and down Jeff's torso, just lightly touching, not even paying attention to where his hand was wandering. He found a rougher patch under his fingertips and realised after a second it was a nipple.

Jeff put his hands over Somer's arm. "I know but I did do it to myself. There are some things about me I need to tell you, I need you to know about me." His breath jumped as his nipple was touchd, Jeff letting out a soft moan as he blushed. "Somer, I have bipolar."

Somer's hands stilled for a moment, before he hugged even tighter. "I wondered." The redhead shifted to where he could look at Jeff in the eyes. "I have depression," he offered.

Jeff looked back at him, smiling as he touched his cheek. "I kind of guessed so. I guess we're more meant for each other then we knew ... earlier when I couldn't talk, it was because of the bipolar, I can shut down, when I know, I know it's going to be hard but I need things like this. You holding me or letting me hold you, I need physical touch." He sighed softly. "What can I do to help you when you're down?"

"Be here," Somer said softly. "Just ... be here. Don't let me be alone with my thoughts." He ran his hands up and down Jeff's upper arms. "Can you sit up a little? It's hard to kiss you like this."

Jeff nodded, then sat up some and turned a bit. "Is that better?" he chuckled, making a kissy face at him to make his boyfriend smile.

Their legs were all tangled together now, bits of them sticking out of the water, but Somer didn't really care. He put his fingertips under Jeff's chin, smiling a particular quiet and warm smile that made his eyes shine, then leaned in and kissed his boyfriend slowly.

Jeff gladly took the kiss, pressing into him more. They were probably getting water on the floor but he didn't care right then. He just cared about kissing Somer, feeling that sweet and caring love that was in their kisses.

He spent a long time kissing Jeff like that, soft and slow and gentle, learning about the ways that their lips meeting could make his whole body tingle. "Jeff," he sighed finally, incredibly turned on and totally unwilling to do anything about it. Somer realised his hands were in the blond hair, cradling Jeff's face. "Sorry," he said ruefully.

Jeff enjoyed the way they were kissing, even making a sound when Somer pulled away. "What? What are you sorry for?" A confused look covered his face as he nuzzled Somer's cheek a bit more. "You didn't do anything to be sorry for ... "

"I was supposed to be touching you," Somer muttered, flushing.

"You are touching me, you're holding me, kissing me, to me that's touching." Jeff nuzzled his cheek still. "I don't care what happens, just as long as I'm with you right now in this moment."

Jeff's nose brushed that spot under Somer's ear, and he shivered hard with a moan. "What happens if I do that to you?" He gently turned Jeff's face away, so he could get to that spot on him, and dropped a tiny kiss there. Then he nuzzled Jeff's ear and took the lobe between his teeth.

Jeff gasped, his body instantly reacting as he moaned. "Things, lots of things," he moaned to him, letting his eyes roll back some as he licked over his lips. His grip tightened on Somer's arm.

It felt like Jeff's reaction shocked into him, and Somer moaned in turn. "Yeah?" he breathed. "Good things?" He bit just a little bit harder, then trailed an open-mouthed kiss down to the corner of Jeff's jaw. "'s doing good things to /me/."

Jeff nodded. "Yeah, good things ... tease." He whimpered, feeling his body react even more. At this rate, he was going to pull Somer from the bath for some other fun in the bed. "Such a tease...oh my god, Somer."

"Not." Somer shifted, a bit, and Jeff's body rubbed up against him. He moaned again, pushing the blond's head back with his thumb so he could get to his throat. The skin there begged to be kissed.

"So am." His head being moved, he mouthed the words now as Somer kissed new spots on his skin. He was gone at this point, his cock hard and he could feel Somer's as well now. "Hmm baby, maybe we should go back to your room ... "

Somer had to move again to keep going down along Jeff's neck, down toward his collarbone. "Yeah, okay," he managed, unwilling to let his mouth move away from that soft skin too much.

Jeff had to pull away, getting out and wrapping a towel around himself, though it was difficult. "Come on, hoover." He knew he had marks on his skin that would be there for days to come. He pulled the plug and handed Somer a towel, kissing him hard to keep them both surged up on the feeling. His hand in Somer's, he ran them back to the boy's dorm. Kissing once more, Jeff laid back with Somer slightly over him. "Do you remember where you were?" He giggled.

The way Jeff kissed him made Somer want to melt. From feeling like he was in control, exploring his boyfriend, he felt like he could just submit while Jeff did whatever he wanted. His eyes were blown dark, only a thin ring of green showing. "I think you blew it out of my head," he said. "Let me just ... " He got Jeff to sit up a little, putting a pillow behind his head, then leaned over him on one elbow and started to trail kisses from the corner of his mouth back. "Here?" he breathed into Jeff's ear. "Was I here?"

Jeff lifted up as Somer asked him to, then got back where he was. He smiled, nodding. "Yep there ... right there." He pulled the blanket over himself some, as he didn't know if Somer noticed or knew what was going on with Jeff as his skin was kissed more and more. His neck was even more his weak spot then he knew until now.

Somer found a spot under the line of the blond's jaw, and touched the tip of his tongue to it, then kissed there. "Maybe I was here." He trailed a series of open-mouthed kisses down the column of Jeff's throat to his collarbone, then nibbled there gently.

Jeff was biting his lip now, trying not to give into the feeling that Somer had found all his weaknesses in his neck. It was just so much pleasure to him and most guys only kissed him, used him and tossed him. To have someone want to get him going was still so new. He whispered under his breath how good it felt, eyes rolling back some.

It was a little surprising to discover just how much he liked having Jeff helplessly moaning under him. Curiously, Somer let his hands wander over the dancer's torso, finding missed water droplets and making little doodles with them. "So perfect," he whispered, kissing the hollow of Jeff's shoulder.

Jeff shook his head; he couldn't take it much more. So catching Somer in a kiss, he rolled his boyfriend on his back. "So are you, now my turn." Already knowing where to kiss to leave him squirming. His lips pressing on his neck then the spot where his shoulder met his neck, Jeff sucked with the purpose of leaving a mark.

"Ack!" Somer sprawled under Jeff now, gasping and whimpering. As soon as Jeff showed the slightest sign of control the redhead was lost. His breathing hitched, and his hands on Jeff's sides clenched. "I th-thought ~ nnn ~ "

Jeff pulled back, nuzzling his nose past Somer's as he smiled down to him. "You thought what?" he asked, still pressing soft kisses against his cheek, jaw and neck. He knew he was teasing him but Somer had just spent a half an hour doing the same to him.

"You said ~ ah god ~ people didn't give physical things to you ~ christ Jeff ~ so I was trying ..." Somer whimpered under the onslaught of kisses, hands slipping down to Jeff's bare hips.

Jeff moved to lay his forehead on Somer's. Now he understood, so rolling some, he had them lay on their sides facing each other. "I like touching you too, so maybe we can do it together?" Gently he touched his cheek then slid his hand down to lace with Somer's.

Somer was starting to get the idea that Jeff thought he had something to hide, but the plan to pursue that got lost in the feel of Jeff's hand in his. "Just tell me what you want."

He chewed his lip then let out a long and wavering sigh. "I want you to touch me, but can we do it like this? I wanna be able to curl into you and kiss you easier." He put Somer's hand on his hip.

The redhead thought about that for a second. "But how will I nibble on your ear and make you make those nice noises?" he asked, rubbing his thumb against Jeff's skin. He reached out his other hand to tuck it under his boyfriend's neck, scooting closer until they were almost touching.

"Use the other one?" he smiled, moving into him more. Feeling his hand on his neck, Jeff shivered softly; how could his touch do so much for him? Yet Jeff felt like his touch was pure intoxication.

Somer tipped his head just a little bit, enough to catch at Jeff's mouth. He went back to those soft, slow kisses, nipping at the blond's lip and lightly brushing their tongues together. He needed to catch those sounds again, to know that he was doing this to Jeff.

Jeff was happy to kiss him again, his hand in Somer's hair as he did. The kisses were slow but they earned a moan from him with each passing moment. They were learning each other and it was kind of fun to find new things they both enjoyed in each other.

The fine hair rose on Somer's skin when Jeff sounded like that. He pulled himself even closer to Jeff, jolting when their hips met. Just the blanket lay between their bare bodies now, and Somer slipped his arm up Jeff's back to pull him ever closer.

Jeff broke from the kiss the moment their hips met, his body reacting and pressing against Somer for more. "Fuck that felt good," he whispered with a light laugh, pressing back into the kiss and finding himself moving closer still.

Somer blinked at him for a second, mouth damp and breathing hard. He gave a breathless nod, fingertips scraping down Jeff's back, and bit his boyfriend's lip rather hard.

Jeff moaned, this time his hips pressed forward more and didn't move back. His hand came to rest on Somer's lower back and he rolled their hips more and more, not letting him pull away. He could feel how his cock was responding, sending jolts of pleasure through him.

"Ah, god," Somer gasped, his head falling back. "Jeff, god, Jeff, please." Nothing had ever felt as good as this, except maybe Jeff's hand on him. His hand fisted against the dancer's back, tense with desire.

Jeff bit at his own lip, still moving with Somer. "Baby can I touch you, please." Having an idea. With the permission, he grabbed them both in hand and started to stroke, the blanket moved out of the way. Jeff letting out small moans as he felt his cock against Somer's.

Somer cried out, raggedly. Their arms and elbows were tangled awkwardly, but he couldn't find enough mind to care. "So good," he moaned, lower lip clenched between his teeth. One hand found a lock of Jeff's hair and closed on it. Just the sensation of a foreign cock against his own had him reeling.

Jeff was so far gone in how they were together, he was lost in the pleasure. Feeling Somer's hand in his hair, he leaned up to kiss him, tugging his lip out as he did. Jeff was close already, his legs shaking as he got closer and closer. He couldn't hold out, moaning into the kiss as he shot around his hand. It had been a long time coming.

The way Jeff kissed him, feeling Jeff climax -- Somer followed him right over that edge, his cry of bliss muffled in his boyfriend's kiss. He saw stars for a minute, clinging to the blond and gasping. "God," Somer groaned.

Jeff chuckled softly, kissing him again. "Yeah, you could say that." His eyes closed as he tried to catch his breath. He felt like he had run a marathon but still felt the tingles of their touches as well. Letting them go, he laughed. "We need to shower and a new blanket."

Somer huffed a laugh. "We need whole new sheets, are you kidding? Also, um." He bit his lip, green eyes flicking down to Jeff's chest. "Is that what they call make-up sex?"

Jeff shrugged. "I don't think so, maybe but then again, normally that's having like full sex. We just got off with each other ... " He blushed. "I really don't know," he giggled, curling up to Somer and kissing his cheek.

Somer tipped his head back, encouraging Jeff to kiss down his throat. "If it's all the same to you, let's skip the fight beforehand next time."

"I don't like fighting with you, so I'm good with that. I do like hearing you moan though, a lot." Jeff kissed his throat. "Come on, we should shower ... it's getting late and I'm getting sleepy, baby."

Obediently, the redhead moaned softly, shivering a bit. "I thought you didn't want me to see you naked?" he asked hazily.

Jeff shook his head, "Don't care anymore, I mean, I do but I've seen you twice, I don't think it's fair if I keep hiding, just be nice okay?" he stated, as he kissed him once more.

"Stop derailing me," Somer scolded when Jeff let him up that time. "I can't think when you're kissing me. Or touching me. Or existing, honestly." He rolled over and sat up on his elbows, pointedly keeping his eyes on Jeff's face. "If we get in the shower together, I don't think getting clean is going to happen." His face was red, but he forged on. "S-so maybe it might be better if you go first."

Jeff giggled, nodding then. "Okay no more kisses and I'll even stop breathing." Jeff held a breath in with puffed up cheeks. He smiled, nodding then about they should take them alone. Slowly letting the breath out, he kissed Somer's nose. "Okay, you first then."

When Jeff held his breath with that silly face, Somer flopped back laughing. "You dork," he said fondly. "Complete dork." He tumbled over sideways out of the bed, shaking his head a bit, and grinned at Jeff. "If I'm first, that means you have to remake the bed?"

"I'm your dork though." Jeff kissed him quick. "Yes, I'll do that, just tell me where the sheets and things are." He stood up as well and stretched a bit, his full body finally exposed to Somer.

"Yes," Somer said softly. "My dork." And wasn't that strange. He pulled out a new stack of sheets for Jeff, then purposefully took a step back and looked at his boyfriend from head to toe. Slowly, trying to get Jeff to blush. "I don't know what you think you were hiding," he said bluntly after a moment.

Jeff smiled, blushing a bit. "Just ... I'm not small and I thought it could freak you out. I didn't want to freak you out." He pouted, taking the sheets and stripping the others off. "I'm guessing you're okay with it then?

Somer draped a towel over his arm, grabbing a clean pair of boxers, then turned back to Jeff. He grabbed the blond's arm, making him stop. "Jeff. I'm used to people being bigger than me. You're, what, half a foot taller than I am?" Somer shrugged, blushing. "Wh-when we get to a point where it might be a thing, then I'll deal with it."

Jeff looked to him. "Okay," he said, kissing his cheek then swatting his ass softly. "Go get clean so I can get clean so we can snuggle and sleep." With that, he was back to making the bed, humming softly under his breath as he worked.

Hearing his boyfriend hum made Somer want to sing. He was usually pretty shy about letting people see and hear him play or sing, but he had been planning to sing for Jeff, so maybe after they showered? He hurried through, mostly just rinsing off.

When Jeff was done, he had a towel around his waist and his discarded boxers in his hand. He still hummed some, a song stuck in his head that brought a smile to his lips. Somer brought the biggest smile though.

Somer was sitting at his keyboard, an open button-down thrown over his shoulders and his fingers moving softly over the keys. He was singing half under his breath, head tossed back and eyes closed. His red hair was finger-combed sideways in an unconscious imitation of Jeff's usual style.

Jeff hadn't taken long in the shower, getting out and putting his boxers back on. He came to lean against Somer's door, seeing him behind the keyboard, he didn't speak, just stood and listened. He was trying to make out the words he was singing so softly.

He fumbled a word, and made a face, scoffing at himself. Lifting his fingers from the keys, Somer hung his head forward, shaking it and running his fingers through his hair, then started over. ~\o You're the light, you're the night, you're the color of my blood ~\o

Jeff bit his lip the moment Somer started to sing. He knew the song, he had heard it before but it coming from Somer's lips was new and how it made his heart skip beats. He covered his mouth to keep from making a sound as Somer continued to sing.

Somer thought about Jeff, picturing that laughing smile behind his closed eyes. Picturing the way Jeff moved when the music swallowed him up. Picturing the way they looked together with a quirk of his lips. ~\o Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire ... ~\o The lyrics suddenly seemed to mean so much more, and he threw his voice up into the next lines with more feeling.

Jeff was still in awe as he sang. Was this what he was trying to sing earlier? Either way, it was so much and felt so good to hear, even if Somer couldn't say it, he could really sing it.

The redhead had sung love songs before. He would sing anything he could make fit his voice -- but he'd thought of Jeff when learning the chords for this one a week ago, and it was Jeff he was imagining singing it for now. He'd wanted to, before, but the blond had needed to be touched, and now Somer wasn't sure he could find the courage again. But right now, he thought, Jeff was in the shower. Nobody was paying attention to him, and he poured his whole soul into the last verse and chorus.

Jeff felt the tears run down his cheeks. He had put his all into the end of it, making Jeff feel it down to his bones. He knew Somer didn't know he was there so he tried to stay quiet, but with the last notes, a choke slipped past his lips. "Sorry, I just, I finished and heard you singing and ... that song was amazing, Somer." He smiled.

His head whipped around, unbalancing himself, and he had to scramble to keep from falling over and taking the keyboard down with him. His heart hammered and his face was on fire. "I thought, I thought you were in the shower," Somer stammered.

"I was ... but when I came out ... " Jeff blushed, then walked over to him. He helped Somer to stand, caressing his cheek. "Sorry if you didn't want me to hear it, just it really was beautiful, like you are beautiful."

Somer just stared at Jeff, his heart still beating hard and his breath coming short. "I -- no, I did, I just ... wasn't. Expecting it to be now." He leaned his forehead against Jeff's chest.

Jeff wrapped him more in a hug, kissing his cheek. "Sorry, next time you play it I'll act like it's the first time, though I think every time you play it I'm going to cry," he whispered to him. "You ready to go to bed? I'm very tired."

"Don't cry," Somer protested, starting to walk their hug backward to the clean bed. "I'm not that good. Don't cry."

"Good tears, happy tears." Jeff movied with him, laying down on the bed now, his arms tight around Somer's waist, their legs tangling some. Jeff let out a long yawn, his eyes showing the tiredness as well.

Apparently Somer wasn't going to get to take his shirt off before sleeping. He decided he didn't care, snuggling down with his back to Jeff's chest. Stretching out, he clicked off the fairy lights and turned on his night sounds. "Mine," he murmured.

Jeff's hand slipped under Somer's shirt, resting on his stomach. "Hmm? Hmm mine," he whispered back, pulling him close as he yawned again. Soon his breath was evening out and he was drifting off, his grip never lost.

#c:jeff #para: jeff.#para: 7.10 now or never #;para

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xjefferxx · 5 years

Text

After Party || Rainling & Austin

Who: Jeff, @joiesomer and @psitsaustin

Where: Jeff’s room, AXi House

When: 7/18, late night

What: jeff gets in trouble for his lack of eating.

Jeff walked back to the house his hand still in Somer's as they made their way into his room. They were alone for now. He kicked off his shoes. His clothes still in his hand from swimming. He sat on the bed, scooting back and looking to Somer. "Come sit with me, please."

"I'll get your sheets wet," Somer objected. Most of his skin was dry, but his hair and his swim short were still damp.

Jeff pointed to the dresser. "I have clothes in there that you can wear....but I just got it wet too. I should change huh?" Standing again, Jeff stripped the bed and remade it, only stopping once then changing into his sweats. "All dry now." Sitting back on his bed once more.

"My clothes are dry -- " Somer started to point out, only then Jeff was stripping the bed, and remaking it, and perforce he had to help. "Will you /please/ sit down and stop using up energy?" he begged finally. "One hot dog and some M&Ms are not enough if you haven't eaten since Monday."

Jeff stopped and was sitting on the bed. "Just want to hold you, please." He asked of him. "Okay, okay, I'll sit here." Putting his hands up to him, showing he surrendered.

"Sometimes I think if you thought you could get away with it you would never actually let me go," Somer teased. "Hold on a second." He turned his back -- foolishly, because Jeff had already seen him naked lots of times by now -- skinned out of his swim shorts, and pulled his jeans and tshirt back on. "Okay." He climbed up onto the bed.

"You're not wrong." Jeff replied. Seeing his back side, jeff tilted his head and checked him out from behind. He smiled once Somer was there on the bed and patted his lap. "Sit here please. You won't let me lift you and I would like to hold you."

With a sigh, but a smile, Somer straddled Jeff, shaking his head. "You're damn right I won't let you hold me. What on earth possessed you -- how could you not have eaten since Monday? Don't you get hungry?"

Jeff held his hips, leaning up for a kiss but waiting for Somer to close the space. "No, i don't. Thats the problem. I'm never really hungry and I drink so much that my stomach stays full a lot or I eat a lot of lollipops...Its been a problem since I was about 13..."

Somer bonked his forehead gently to Jeff's. "And then you lied to me about it. 'I'm fine,' while I can /feel/ you shaking like a leaf. Good grief you can be such an idiot."

"I was also shaking because I was upset...and I always think I'm fine." Jeff looking up to him, with a soft smile. "You remember when I said that Hunter would be mad at me for not eating? Its because he knows, so does Sebastian. I'm sorry I lied to you."

Somer closed his green eyes, frowning slightly. "When was that ... ?" he mused, then frowned harder. "You know everyone here," he said, opening his eyes again. "You're /friends/ with everyone here."

"Sebastian found out the first time it happened...I was on stage performing...Same for Hunter. He was at one of my dance competitions with Sebastian." Jeff explained. "Yeah, I guess. It happens when you've been around for a year or so."

"I'm the same year as you," Somer pointed out. "And I don't have nearly the kind of friends you do." He tried to push that worry -- he was sure it was unfounded -- from his mind. "You said you drink a lot. So we'll just get you protein drinks or something."

Jeff nodded to him, "Okay. I can do protein drinks." Still looking up to him, Jeff licked his lips. "May I have kisses now until Austin comes?"

Somer thought about it, flicking his eyes to the side. "What happened to the rest of those M&Ms? You can have one kiss for every M&M you eat."

"I ate them while you got the hotdog...they're all gone." Jeff pointed out, handing him the empty wrapper that was in his wet jeans.

"Damn, outsmarted again," the redhead said mildly. He kissed the blond's forehead. "There you go."

Jeff frowned, "Somer.....real kisses, lip kisses, neck kisses....boyfriend kisses." He whined and tickled his sides a bit.

Somer grinned at him. "You kiss me on the forehead all the time," he pointed out. "And I don't actually like it that much, to be honest. It makes me feel very short and like a child." He leaned to the side and kissed Jeff's cheek.

Jeff made a face then sighed some. "okay no more forehead kisses, now kisssseeessss." he whined more.

The redhead giggled at his boyfriend's tone. He kissed Jeff's other cheek, then the end of his nose, then the corner of his mouth.

Jeff whined still, whimpering at the teasing kisses. "Somer Rainault, will you please kiss me on the lips already."

"I don't know," Somer said thoughtfully. "I'm still kinda annoyed with you." He licked his lips, narrowing his eyes. "But I guess you did eat that hot dog." He leaned in and slowly kissed Jeff, hands sliding up to cup his face. After a moment the kiss went deep and dirty.

Jeff was glad to get the kiss, smiling and even giggling for Somer. "I am really sorry i upset you..I didn't know it would hurt you so much."

Austin soon arrived at the AXi house with the container of eclairs in hand and knocked at the front door. Of course, ever the impatient one, he also sent a quick text once he managed to maneuver his phone out. 'You guys got a minute to open the door?'

With another quick kiss Somer slid off Jeff's lap. "You. Stay," he said, pointing a finger at the floor. "I'm going to go let Austin in." He went as fast as he could. "Is he normally this obstinate about episodes like this?" the redhead asked Austin.

Jeff sighed, nodding. He watched Somer leave then slipped down on the bed. He was a bit tired from it all but he knew he couldn't sleep just yet. His eyes closed though, just trying to relax and keep the food down as he felt over full right then.

Austin stepped inside the house then gave a reluctant nod. "Yeah, pretty much. It's probably for the best to get the information straight out of Jeff's mouth, so I'm just going to take a step back from the discussion and put these eclairs in the fridge. Unless you want them now."

Somer considered them. "Have you got any cookies or anything? I really want to get something more than just M&Ms and a hot dog into him."

Austin drummed his fingers against the container for a moment before he answered, "I do have more cookies, but they're all back at Schuester. I can run back there real quick and grab them."

"No," the redhead decided. "I'll get something delivered." He waved toward the kitchen, then went back up to Jeff. "Hey," he said quietly, perching on the edge of the bed.

The Culinary Arts major nodded and disappeared in order to place the eclairs in the fridge then soon made up to Jeff's room. "Knock knock," Austin greeted.

Jeff stirred from his lull, looking to Somer. He slowly moved to sit up, giving them both a small smile. Sorry, was kind of tired so I wanted to just lay for a moment and my stomach hurts a bit." Rubbing it softly.

Somer raised an eyebrow. "I bet you're tired," he said dryly. "What with not having eaten since Monday, and the way you react to it you probably never eat enough. I bet you fall out all the time." He folded his arms. "Still mad, by the way."

Jeff nodded, "I know, I'm sorry...I dont know if i can eat more right now..I can try though. " just hoping they'd both understand.

Austin slowly entered the room as he listened lightly shook his head, more at himself than either Jeff or Somer. "You should be a spy, tiny dancer," he quipped. "In all seriousness though, we should talk about this as soon as possible, but let tonight be a night of rest and brainstorming. Those in favor?"

Somer sighed, letting his arms relax. "I know. I get it. I'm just worried. What time is it even? What if we put on a movie, something nice we all like, and in an hour you can eat some popcorn or something."

Jeff nodded, pointing to his shelf. "I have them over there, you guys can choose one." He knew though he'd be falling asleep within moments of it starting. Jeff scooted over, patting the spot for Somer to sit, with a pout and reaching out for him.

Austin headed over to the shelf and selected a few movies then placed them on the bed in a row. "See anything you like here? I know this isn't the most helpful thing to say, but I don't really have a preference. We can narrow them down to comedies though. Something lighthearted."

"How about Thor 3? Or Guardians of the Galaxy," Somer suggested. "Those are pretty light-hearted." He hitched himself up on the bed better, arranging himself and Jeff so that the blond was cuddled in the curve of his body.

"I dont' care, I have Thor 3 though, it might be in the player already." Curving and curling up to Somer, his head in the crook of Somer's neck as his eyes closed some. He just wanted to sleep now that he was warm and his belly was overly full.

Austin gave a nod of agreement as he put the movies back up on the shelf then went to turn on the TV as well as the DVD player. He took a seat on an empty bed as the movie started up and had to resist the urge to pull a Goldilocks, just make himself at home. "Hey, if the owner of this bed comes back and you guys are still awake, please wake me up."

Somer hooked his arm around Jeff's middle, relaxing. "You could come over here," he said softly. "I don't mind ... I mean, I've never been in a cuddle pile. It might be nice. Then you wouldn't have to leave if Ryder comes back."

Jeff hummed some, curling still. "Yeah doughboy come cuddle with me and Gingerbread." Kissing Somer's neck softly. "Also, would you please turn the lights off and plug in the fairy lights?"

That made Austin arch an eyebrow ever so slightly at the duo, but he hopped off the bed and did as he was asked to do with the lights. "Alright, but fair warning. I like to make a grand entrance," he joked before he flopped down on Jeff's bed in an unceremonious fashion.

The redhead started to laugh. "If that's grand, what do you do when you want to make a subtle entrance? Also, have you noticed, for someone who doesn't eat a lot, he sure uses a lot of food-based nicknames?"

Jeff was far gone, already starting to sleep on Somer's shoulder there. His breathing even, soft snores coming from his lips.

Austin chuckled as he responded, "You don't want to see the subtle entrance. Then that is an interesting contrast. Suppose the jury is still out on why that's the case or if it's just Jeff being Jeff."

Somer peered down at the blond mop. "I think he's asleep already," he murmured. He sighed, cradling Jeff closer. "Does he do this often? Neglect himself? Because I don't like it at all."

The smile fell from Austin's face at the question before he answered, "As fair as I know, it's just this particular thing. But even best friends keep some secrets from each other. I sure as hell haven't told him about the miscellaneous anxiety attacks I've had when he wasn't around. You're not alone in not being a fan though, that's for sure."

Somer pressed his lips together. "You know, when I was planning a picnic for us, I wasn't really thinking about it like this -- I thought he liked to eat. He's always been trying to feed me. I guess I just didn't pay attention to the fact that he wasn't eating." He looked at Austin in the dim light. "Now I really need your help. What kind of food does he /like/?"

"Yet another reason he should be a spy or a magician at the very least," Austin commented before he pushed himself up so he wouldn't block the screen, yet would be able to face Somer easily. "Burgers, fries, oatmeal, french toast, literally any and all berries, ravioli, and pizza. But those are just the ones I remember off the top of my head."

"Only the berries are any good for a picnic," Somer said, making a face. "French fries might be okay, but they just aren't going with what I'm thinking." Looking back down at Jeff's sleeping form, he sighed again. "I'm stuck between trying to give him what he likes best, and fulfilling my own vision of this. I don't want to be selfish."

Austin gave a reassuring glance as he listened before he rolled over so that he stared up at the ceiling while he listened to Somer. "Picnics don't always have to be fancy little things. Once again, there's beauty in simplicity," he commented. "Tell you what. How about you and I hang out the next time we're both free and we can plan this meal together? Then there's nothing wrong with being a tad selfish. Just don't go overboard slash mad with power."

"Are you always this helpful?" Somer asked sourly. "I've been putting it off all week, so I'm just going to ... let it happen. This weekend. All I want from you now is a dozen of his favourite cookies and then you out of the way."

That earned Somer yet another raised eyebrow as Austin pushed himself up once again. "Okay, I can do that easily. But I'm sorry if I did or said anything wrong," he responded. "And I apologize once again if this is a stupid question, but do you want me to leave now or just leave the picnic to you?"

"Sorry," the redhead said. "Sorry ... I'm just still all scrambled from tonight, and I just ... I don't know. Just ... stay. I don't want to be the kind of boyfriend who splits Jeff up from his friends."

"It's fine," Austin replied as he settled back down. "But you're a cool guy Somer and I can tell you care about him just as much as he cares about you. Hell, it wouldn't be a reach at all to say that you two just 'gel' really well together."

The writer just sighed again, resting his chin against Jeff and watching the movie without really seeing it. "Do you know if there's any popcorn in this place?" he asked a while later.

"There might be some in the kitchen. I'll go have a look." With that, Austin slipped off the bed with a two fingered salute of a temporary farewell and headed for the kitchen. Not much later, he popped his head back in as he quietly answered, "There's some microwaveable popcorn."

Slowly Somer eased himself out from under and behind Jeff. Feet hanging off the edge of the bed, he paused the movie and replied, "Can you make it? I want him to eat just a bit more tonight. I figure if I feed it to him, he won't fight me so much."

Jeff gasped, his head moving as if he was going to wake when Somer moved out from under him. But he nestled into his pillow, drifting again.

Austin gave a nod of agreement as he added, "Can do and will do. Be right back." He disappeared one more time in order to make the popcorn then poured it into two bowls. A few minutes later, the dark haired male reentered the room and questioned, "Hope you guys are cool with sharing a bowl?"

Somer accepted one bowl, squirming up behind Jeff again. "Hey, Jeff," he murmured. "Wake up a bit for me." He brushed at the pale hair, stroking it out of his boyfriend's face.

Jeff frowned, snuggling up to Somer again. He didn't stir fully, but still leaned into his touch a bit. He could smell the popcorn now, making him slowly open his eyes.

Austin sat back down on the bed with a light smile on his face thanks to the nonsense on screen, but his attention soon bounced back to his friends. "Welcome back tiny dancer," he greeted.

Somer put a piece of popcorn in his own mouth. "I always like popcorn with movies," he commented. "Maybe it's a cultural thing, but it just seems right." He ate another piece, then held one out where Jeff could see it. "Here."

Jeff slowly moved to sit up, nodding to Austin. When he saw the popcorn, Jeff took it and put it in his mouth, chewing slowly. He still curled up to Somer though, this time taking some popcorn for himself and munching it.

Austin nodded in both greeting along with agreement. "I can understand that. It probably is a cultural thing, but for a good reason. It's a classic to the say very least." His attention started to drift back to the movie until something else popped up. "You want to know another awesome movie snack or at least in my opinion? Reese's."

"Cups or pieces?" Somer inquired, pushing the bowl a bit closer to Jeff. He threw a smug smirk in Austin's direction, with a quick flick of his head to the eating dancer.

"The cups are better." Jeff mumbled, taking another handful then wiping his hand off. "Can't eat more, stomach hurts." Curling up a bit more, with a yawn. He wanted to go back to sleep some but at the same time, he liked having his best friend and boyfriend there with him.

Austin gave a thumbs up as he ate his popcorn then weighed in, "Cups get my vote. Although pieces are good in a pinch." He yawned ever so slightly which was followed by a shake of his head. "Don't let anybody tell you that yawning isn't contagious. Because it is, big time."

Jeff had eaten about half the bowl. Somer figured that was good enough, since that was probably a quarter of the bag. "Y'all can eat the cups, and I will have a fat sack of Reese's Pieces," he said, eating another piece of popcorn. He snuggled himself down against Jeff's face, eyelids feeling heavy. "Somebody turn off the movie," he mumbled.

Jeff nuzzled Somer, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you." he whispered, his eyes closing as he tangled himself with Somer more.

The movie was soon turned off by Austin then he carefully took the other bowl as he stood up. "I'll be right back, just going to put these in a bag real quick for later eating. Do you guys want me to tuck you in or do you have that handled?"

"Nnnn." Somer was gone. Everything was too much effort. He breathed out, one arm going around Jeff's hips, let his eyes fall closed, and tried to turn off his mind.

Jeff was fast asleep even before Austin spoke. Everything about this night had wore him out and down. He was ready to sleep the night away, warm and fully full for the first time in a very long time.

Austin returned just moments later and aimed to tuck his friends in with a soft smile on his face. "Good night guys," he whispered as he started to head out of the room in order to make the journey back to Schuester.

#paustin #psomer

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joiesomer · 5 years

Text

Who: Somer and Jeff ( @xjefferxx )

Where: a lake beach, then Somer’s room

When: 24 July 2019

Notes/Triggers: a picnic date

Somer put the container with the mini cheesecakes in the top of the basket Austin had acquired for him, then closed the lid. He checked his backpack for the third time -- beach towels, mini speakers, dry shorts and shirt. He had on the little swim shorts Jeff liked so much. Everything was ready, except for the presence of one boyfriend.

Jeff wanted to look nice and be dressed for their date as well. He wore his swim trunks with a nice button-up over it. Having a bag as well of clean and dry clothes over his shoulder, he made his way to meet up with Somer. Seeing him, Jeff waved and semi-jogged over to him. "Hey there, baby."

"There you are," Somer smiled. He admired Jeff's outfit for a moment, and gave him a quick kiss. "I thought you might have gotten lost." He spoke lightly to hide the anxiety in his gut, and led them both out to the car. Rolling the windows down, he held Jeff's hand the whole drive, and kissed it before he got out to unload.

Jeff rolled his eyes, smiling to Somer as he kissed him back. "Nah, I'd follow you anywhere." Once they were in the car, he was thankful to hold Somer's hand. It was nice to have that connection as they went along. Parked at the beach, Jeff stepped out and stretched some. "It's so pretty," he whispered into the wind.

On a Wednesday evening the beach wasn't that crowded, which made Somer happy. He still wasn't that keen on people watching him with Jeff. But he cast a fond smile at his tall boyfriend's back and started to spread out the big blanket, wrestling with the wind. A particularly strong gust blew it back in his face and he stumbled back, laughing.

Jeff heard him laughing and turned to see his boyfriend caught up in a blanket. He laughed as well, helping untangle him and set the blanket on the sand. Once it was in place, he dropped his shoes in one corner and his bag in the other. "Ta-da," he laughed. "You went full out huh?"

The redhead pinned down the other two corners and began to unpack the picnic basket. "I mean, you were pretty thoughtful with the date you took me on, so I'm just trying to match you." He handed Jeff a container of sugared strawberries. "I already wanted to plan a picnic for you before ... that thing anyway."

Jeff came to sit by Somer, taking the container. He smiled a bit, leaving over and kissing his boyfriend's cheek. "Well I love it," he whispered to him. "You've been planning this for some time? Baby..." He shook his head, tears in his eyes some. He couldn't believe he did all of this for him.

Somer blushed, occupying his hands with unpacking more. More fruit, cheese cut up in cubes, pepperonis and salamis, crackers, Jeff's favourite peanut-butter stuffed pretzels, the mini cheesecakes ... food spread across the blanket, and then the writer pushed the basket aside. "So, um. Yeah," he said lamely, spreading his hands. "For you."

Jeff looked at it all then pulled Somer closer to him. He wanted to hold him close as he ate. "You're all me too." Jeff grabbed some cheese and opened the container as he kissed Somer's cheek and started to eat, offering cubes to him as well.

The redhead accepted a bite of cheese, then stretched himself out on the blanket with his head in Jeff's lap. He squirmed a bit to get the sand to make hollows for him, then sighed blissfully.

Jeff wasn't sure about the squirming but he understood after a moment, doing it as well. It was nice, sitting there and eating, cuddling the whole time as he stole kisses from his lover. "You want to pack this back up some and go swim a bit?"

"Did you eat enough?" the redhead checked. He sat up, brushing crumbs off his chest, to give Jeff a steady look. Any answer would be fine, but he needed an answer.

"I did, yeah. I mean, I'll eat more later," Jeff replied. "I just kind of want to get up and move some before I do. Let what I did eat settle in my stomach better."

Somer peeled his shirt off over his head and dropped it on the blanket. "Okay." Lunging for Jeff then, he pinned the blond down with a grin and started unbuttoning his shirt. "You wore this to tease me," he said, laughing.

Jeff yelped and laughed as Somer jumped on him. He chuckled though when the boy started to undress him. "Well that's possible, or it's just because I like this shirt a lot and I do have a lot of button-ups," he teased, stealing a kiss from his lips.

"Suspicious," Somer mumbled. He pushed the shirt off Jeff's shoulders, then took the time for a more thorough kiss.

Jeff hummed, kissing him back and rolling Somer over to have him flat on his back on the blanket. Pulling from the kiss, Jeff smirked. "Race you to the water." Jumping up, he took off running with a laugh, not daring to look back.

One day, Somer thought, Jeff was going to roll him over like that and realise just how much power he had over the writer when he did that. But not today, apparently. He scrambled to his feet, struggling out of his jeans, and abandoned them at the edge of the blanket in his dash for the water's edge.

Jeff had beaten him, smiling as he splashed water at Somer then pulled him close. "You need to work on your running, mister gingerbread." His hands came to rest on Somer's ass. "I love this suit on you."

"I'm a swimmer!" Somer objected, laughing. "Running isn't my thing -- /and/ you're half a foot taller than me!" He wrapped his arms around Jeff, then lifted his feet off the bottom. "You love everything on me," he said, blushing a bit at how forward that sounded.

"I do, I love everything about you." Jeff picked him up and started to wade into the water. "So you say you're a swimmer huh?" he said, smirking. "So if I dropped you into the waves right now," faking dropping him, "you'd be okay?"

The redhead gave Jeff a dry, amused look. "If you can still stand in it, I'm not worried," he assured his boyfriend. "Dork."

Jeff grinned and knelt down some. He let them float a bit then stood back up. "Your dork," he said, nuzzling his cheek and licking it as well.

Somer used the buoyancy of the water to get him closer to Jeff's height and pulled him down for a kiss. "Yes," he breathed. "Mine. Even though sometimes I look at other people, you're the one my eyes feel at home on."

Jeff held him, smiling and shaking his head. "So you find other guys attractive huh? Who would that be?" His brows raised, wondering who it might be that made his love turn his head somewhat.

Uncomfortably, Somer shrugged. "Lots of people. It's not just guys, you know." Why had he said that? It had been supposed to be flattery of Jeff, not the start of an awkward discussion.

"Well I'd love to know who but I won't make you tell me, promise." Jeff kissed him softly. "You're the only one for me too, you're my home and my future."

Somer reached up and brushed his fingers through Jeff's pale hair, looking at him. "That /is/ a little fast," he said softly.

Jeff shrugged. "Fast is all in the eye of those whom are living it. I know how I feel and I promised you once I wouldn't lie to you so I'm not."

His heart beat fast, and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He could feel his face turning red, and anxiety made a knot at the pit of his stomach. "I," Somer started, then gently pushed away from Jeff. "I just need a second." Lifting his feet, he dropped under the surface of the water.

Jeff nodded, moving back to give him room for his moment. He didn't go far from him, just floated away from him.

The non-sound of water filled Somer's ears, but it couldn't wash out Jeff's words. 'Future'. How was he supposed to carry that? He liked Jeff. A lot, really. Enough to call it love, at least. But a forever love? The idea of that made him want to run, or throw up, or something; it sent spikes of fear down his spine. He opened his eyes, under the water, and hot tears washed away.

Jeff sighed some. Of course he fucked up, but he didn't think Somer would say it back. He wasn't talking forever love, he was just talking about how he saw this lasting for some time. Jeff had to let the thoughts go though. He couldn't freak out.

Somer looked up through the water at the wavering view of the first person who had ever thought he was worth something and done something about that thought. The idea of giving that up, after so much and so little time, also scared him; he wanted to wrap his arms around Jeff and never let go -- and how was that different from what he'd just been told?

Jeff knew Somer had been down there some time but he didn't question it. He was a swimmer and knew his own limits. Plus he was sure he would only make it worse if he touched him. Why did this keep happening? Why did Somer always just pull away when Jeff was just honest with him? He didn't get it fully.

Getting his feet under him, Somer burst up from the water, throwing his head back to get the wet hair out of his eyes. He sucked in a deep breath, then looked around for Jeff. Reaching out a hand, he wiped the water from his face with the other.

Jeff looked to him and then to the water. "You need to stop doing that," he said. "You said you love me and you want to be with me but the moment I'm honest you run away, do you have any idea how much that hurts and sucks, Somer? This is supposed to be a date and now I'm trying not to cry because all I was was honest and you ran away again." Jeff shook his head. "If you really do love me then stop running every time something scares you. I didn't think you'd say it back but running, hiding ... it hurts okay? So no more of it."

Somer nodded. "You're right. You're right, and I'm sorry. I'm just," he searched for words, "very, very new to all this. It's not a good excuse. There is no good excuse. I'm ... trying not to let whatever I'm thinking just spill at you, because some of those thoughts aren't very good." He reached out and took Jeff's hand, holding it tight. "I love you," Somer said clearly. "I love you, but I don't love me, and I get tangled in that when you're honest with me. I get confused about why you would want to be with me. Why you care, and then I get in my head, and I choose to go away for a minute so that doesn't just all spill out of my mouth."

"Somer you should know by now that I know that about you, that I know how you think and what you think when I say those things but you won't let me even have a chance to help you with it," Jeff replied and pulled him close. "I know you're second guessing why you, why I love you and why I'm with you all the time. I know that about you but that isn't a reason to run. If anything, it's a reason to stay and let me help you through your thoughts, together."

"I'm not yet used to that," the redhead admitted. "It's hard to break the habit of a decade, Jeff. I'm trying, I swear I'm trying." He laid his head against Jeff's shoulder, then turned to kiss the hollow there. "It's like you with the eating," he mumbled. "I have to practise. Please, please be patient with me while I practise."

"But I'm getting help with my practice," Jeff replied. "You need to let me help okay? Let me help you as you're helping me." Jeff shuddered from the kiss to his skin. "I can be patient but no more running off or going under the water, just talk to me."

"I'm trying," Somer repeated. He felt the shiver, and smiled slightly. Deliberately, he kissed that spot again, this time flickering his tongue out to lick it briefly. "I love you," he whispered again. "Tell me why you love me."

Jeff hummed, holding back a moan. "I love you too," he whispered. "Because you make the sun shine brighter in my life. You make my heart beat faster and slower all at once. Because you are the first boy I kissed and I never wanted to stop, I see my future when I look into your eyes and it's bright and wonderful."

Somer rested his forehead against Jeff's shoulder for a moment, absorbing that, trying to find a place to put it inside himself where it would overwrite the dark thoughts that came to him in the night. "What do you mean I'm the first boy you kissed? You kiss way better than that."

"I said you're the first boy I kissed and never wanted to stop. I've kissed others but it was just kissing. With you, it was never just kissing," Jeff replied to him, lifting his chin to make Somer look at him. "With you it was fireworks and elephants."

That made more sense. Somer just looked into Jeff's dark eyes for a long moment, nodding slowly. Then he pulled the blond head down to his and kissed him hard.

Jeff looked back then kissed him back. He held his cheek, scooping down to pick him up. Holding him, Jeff started out of the water and back towards their things.

Somer wrapped his legs around Jeff's hips, then whispered, "Jeffery Sterling, this is a public beach, what are you planning?"

"To carry you back to the blanket, hold you, kiss you and eat. If I want more, that's for back in your room." Jeff smiled, sitting on a towel on the blanket and grabbing the basket as he sat with Somer between his legs.

The writer flopped over in feigned exaggerated relief. "I was worried you were going to ravish me right here," he teased. He opened the mini cheesecakes and held them out to Jeff, stealing one for himself.

"Nah, I like to kiss you in public, a little touching but nothing big, promise." Jeff took the bite; he hummed softly. "So good, did you make those yourself? Or did Austin help you make them?"

"Austin made them," Somer admitted. "He helped me a lot figuring out how to put this together, the food at least." He smeared cheesecake bits on his fingers, then licked them off slowly, watching Jeff the whole time.

Jeff grinned. "Hmm well he is a good baker and I do love his cooking ... I like it on you too." He grabbed his hand and licked Somer's last finger, eyes locked on Somer's. "What do you think about heading back to school now?"

A queer, pleasant tightness filled Somer's middle as Jeff sucked on his finger, and he gasped a shaky breath. "Y-yeah," he stammered. "That's a good idea, yeah." He swallowed hard, then blurted, "How the hell do you do that to me so /fast/?"

"Hmm don't know, maybe you're just that horny for me?" Jeff kissed his neck softly again. "Hmm well, you did say you were jeffsexual after all." Sitting back, Jeff hugged his middle more and lightly touched his stomach.

Somer shivered, eyes darkening. "We're not going to make it anywhere if you keep doing that, because I won't be able to move." He had to lean away from Jeff in order to start putting things back in the basket. After he put about half the containers back in the basket, he stole another bit of cheesecake, then twisted to kiss Jeff again.

Jeff kissed him back, smiling and holding his head as to make sure they didn't fall over. "Hmm you taste sweet. Maybe we should stay for the sunset." Still holding him, Jeff pressed light kisses to his lips over and over again, then licked his cheek.

"Stop that," Somer laughed, pushing at his boyfriend. "Stop licking me!" He reached down to run his fingertips up Jeff's sides, tickling him, and swiped a kiss at the side of his mouth. "If we're staying til sunset," he murmured, eyes dancing, "it's going to be another hour and a half. Can you wait that long?"

Jeff laughed, even giggled lightly. "No tickling, nono." He grabbed Somer's hand and nodded. "Yeah I can wait, I want to hold you as the sun goes down and kissing you in the moment. Plus then you can wear my sweatshirt and look all cute."

The redhead raised his eyebrows, pretending to be surprised. "I thought you thought I was already cute. I have to wear your clothes now?" He finished packing the food back in the basket, leaving out the strawberries and sticking one into his mouth.

"I think you're cute all the time, yes, but you are a new kind of adorable in my oversized clothes. I've said it before, I love that you're smaller then me." Jeff kissed his cheek and ate one of the strawberries as well.

"It's like you think I'm some kind of stuffed toy," Somer laughed. He stood up and stretched, eyes closed and hands up to the sky, then looked down at Jeff. "If we're waiting for sunset, instead of going home where you can do what you want to me, I'm going to go back in the water for a while." He didn't wait for an answer, darting off across the sand and doing a smooth, shallow dive into the lake.

Jeff watched his stretch and smiled. "You're so much more then a stuffed animal," he whispered. Watching Somer go off into the water, Jeff pulled his knees in close and just watched him from the blanket. This was a part of Jeff that didn't come out much, the side that just liked to watch others in their element.

It was nice to be in water that wasn't highly chlorinated, where he didn't have laps to do, and where the shouts and whistles didn't echo off the ceiling. Yes, the beach had people on it, but the wide water of the lake absorbed those sounds. Somer floated to the surface of the water, letting himself drift a bit with limbs dangling down into the coolth. He could feel the sun against his bare skin, making a nice contrast. For what felt like a long time he just lay there, not thinking, just being in that space between.

Then he finally rolled himself over and struck out for shore, pulling himself through the water. He felt better. Less tangled, less caught up in himself and in surface emotions. He hadn't realised how much he needed that kind of space between until after he'd been in it. Dropping below the surface, he coasted up until the beach was almost too shallow, then rose out of the lake and shook his head, spraying water everywhere.

Jeff smiled, just watching as Somer played and floated in the water. He didn't mind just watching him. Seeing him come closer though, Jeff got up and met him at the shore, even giggling when he shook his hair out some. "Walk with me?" He held his hand out to Somer's. "My favorite thing to do on a beach is just walk along the shore some."

Wordlessly, Somer took Jeff's hand, smiling at the way the lowering sunlight made a golden cap out of his hair. They turned to walk along the shore, into the quickening breeze. He felt peaceful, closed in a safe, shimmering bubble, and he tried to capture that as a memory. "I don't ever want to forget this."

"I don't think we can," Jeff replied, swinging their hands as they walked. He loved how the sun seemed to be more warm the hot at this hour of the day, and seeing the way the light lit up Somer's hair and gave it a new kind of red shine. Jeff kissed his shoulder "One freckle down," he teased.

"Only four thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine left." Somer grinned, bumping his shoulder into Jeff's. He linked their fingers together, smile softening to something fond and soft and unabashedly happy.

Jeff laughed with a shake of his head. "I like that I know how many more to come. All those all over body kisses." He kissed the back of Somer's hand, with a tiny lick and a laugh on his lips. "I love that smile of yours."

Somer closed his eyes, imagining Jeff kissing every single freckle, and bit his lip. "I kinda have the impression you love everything about me," he said somewhat breathlessly. "Which is a bit strange, to be honest, since I know how far from perfect I am."

"I do love all the things about you," Jeff replied. "You may not be perfect but you're perfect for me. I see your flaws and they go with mine. You and I fit together and there isn't much more to say than that. At least in my eyes."

Flushing, Somer bumped his boyfriend with his shoulder again. "Flatterer," he accused. "Anybody would think you wanted something out of me."

"I do, I want your heart to be all mine." Jeff pulled him in close, arms sliding around Somer's waist to hold him close for the moment. "You are all mine and I love that more than anything. I think it's time we facetime our siblings and introduced ourselves to them."

The redhead leaned his head against the blond's chest for a moment, listening to his heartbeat. Then he looked up into his face, with the hair falling into Jeff's dark eyes the way it always did. "I don't know where I'd be right now if you hadn't kissed me that night," he said softly, hands running up and down Jeff's biceps.

Jeff shook his head. "I don't know where I'd be if you didn't post that public. I never thought you would find someone like me to be attractive. I'm just not the boy most boys crush on. But then you did what you did and I knew, I just knew I had to kiss you, to let you feel like what it was like for someone to want that with you."

Somer's cheeks burned with embarrassment. "Not all the results of that were good," he muttered, ducking his head. "Are you trying to say that the only reason you kissed me was because I admitted you were attractive?"

"Well no, I would have kissed you or at least tried if I knew you liked boys ... but it is the reason it happened so fast. We happened so fast. I like to believe that everyone is meant to be with someone," Jeff replied and lifted his chin. "I like to think that you and I were meant to be."

"There's some people who would want to argue with you about that," Somer observed. "About everyone being meant to be with someone. Hunter, for one. Can you imagine?"

"Hunter can be bitter about things, when he thinks he's losing people, but he does get over it in time," Jeff replied. "Now about talking to Winter and my siblings ... you want to do it? I think I should at least get his approval ... and stories about you." He winked.

Somer moaned theatrically, turning his steps to head back in the direction they came from. "Oh nooooo. You're going to /ask/ him to embarrass me?"

Jeff followed him after him, wrapping his arms around Somer's waist from behind and kissing his cheek. "Well yes, I mean, I want to know about cute littler Somer and what he used to get up to."

"Reading, mostly. Lil Somer spent a lot of time with his nose in a book."

"Well I still know there are fun stories in there too." Jeff kissed his hair and then waddled all the way back to the blanket. "Sun is almost down, you getting cold at all?"

Shaking his head, Somer pushed his sandals off the blanket corner with his toes. "Not with you all wrapped around me like that, no. You radiate a lot of warmth."

Jeff sat down with Somer there between his legs, chuckling some. "So are you saying you want me to leave you alone and not hold you then?"

Somer pulled his sandals on, straightening out his shirt. "No. I'm just saying it's very hard to be cold with you around." He cast a smile over his shoulder at the blond, then rolled over onto his knees and cupped Jeff's face. "I believe you were saying something about heading home a bit ago," he breathed, then kissed him.

Jeff smiled. "I did but then I realized I want to hold you, kiss you and watch the sunset. Nothing more, just want all the cute and simple things. Is that okay?" He kissed him back. He knew Somer had a sex drive but tonight, Jeff just wanted to be with him with their clothes on.

The redhead poked out his lower lip, making big green eyes at Jeff, then sighed and laughed. "Okay, okay, I can take a hint. But," he shook a finger at Jeff, "I'm not responsible if you hit one of those buttons, okay?"

Jeff kissed his stuck-out lip. "You are so horny for me, I like it but I mean, I like the idea of just being us together." Putting his hands up as if to surrender, he laughed some. "I will do my best not to push them but you gotta work on some self-control too," he pointed out, licking the tip of Somer's nose.

"I have to do nothing of the sort!" he said, pretending to be outraged. Somer scrambled off the blanket and flipped the end up over Jeff's head, laughing.

"Baby, you're hornier then a rabbit sometimes," Jeff remarked, then was covered in the blanket. Pushing it down, he shook his head at Somer. "You are just asking for it, you know that? Just asking for me to punish you."

"Pffff. Like you even could." Somer grinned at Jeff and pulled his shirt on. "You would never even."

Jeff stood, crossing his arms over his chest. "You want to bet. Because you will lose and I will spank that cute little ass of yours."

The redhead just shook his head, smiling slightly, a challenging glint in his eye. He picked up the blanket and snapped it out, just missing Jeff, and started to fold it.

Jeff stepped back. Oh, he was going to get it when they got back. He was going to get it bad but Jeff just smiled, helping him clean up some and then pointed behind Somer. "Look, it's pink ... that's a good thing, means it will be a good night."

Somer chuckled. "I think it means there's a lot of dust in the atmosphere, actually, but it is really beautiful." He hugged the blanket to himself, looking out at the fading red, pink, and violet.

"Oh ... I just grew up on that saying about sailors and sunset and sunrise." Jeff shrugged, looking at Somer as he was. He still was in awe that someone so amazing would want to be with him through all the fighting and the fear, that here he was, in love with his gingerbread.

Somer reached up and put the blanket on Jeff's head. "Heh, yeah, I know that saying." He picked up his backpack, finding his keys, then the picnic basket. "Ready to go, or are you putting your shirt back on?"

Jeff shook his head, holding the blanket. "Yeah." He put it back on but left it open with a wink to Somer. Now he was just doing it to get his boyfriend going, to tease him in the ways he knew he could.

The redhead bit his lip hard, quashing his impulse to jump on his boyfriend and kiss him until they were both silly with it. His eyes glittered as he looked Jeff up and down, gaze hot, before he turned on his heel and led them back to the car. "You're incorrigible," he murmured, loading the basket.

"Oh am I?" Jeff snuck up behind him and whispered in his ear. "I'm not the one losing it over his boyfriend's chest showing, thinking about his hands on my body while he kisses my neck, sucking little hickies as well. How it feels to have him touch me and make me moan ..." His words curled off his tongue in a teasing manner, just wanting to see if Somer would react.

Somer had to hang on to the door, one hand on the back of the seat, fingers curling, when Jeff started whispering in his ear. His breath came faster, and he felt that tension in his middle again. All the fine hair on his body stood up. "God, Jeff," he breathed, swaying.

Jeff purred, licking the shell of Somer's ear. "You're thinking about it now, aren't you? You can feel my hands as they snake along your body, touching every inch of your skin, kissing the places I know you love to have kissed and then the press of my hips to your ass as I slowly stroke your cock." The k on the word popped from his lips, Jeff stepping away. "Well shall we?"

"Y-yes," Somer whimpered. His knees tried to give way. Jeff was barely even touching him, and his ears were flaming. He had to struggle to get his breath back when he felt the heat of his boyfriend moving away, and there was no possible way to surreptitiously adjust himself, either. "I th-thought you wanted cute and simple things?" he stammered.

"I do." Jeff slipped into the car and sitting in the passenger seat. "But you said I was incorrigible, when really, it's you baby and I do love that about you."

"You realise that doesn't make any sense, right?" Somer asked, sliding through the evening traffic easily. "It's not my fault you're the hottest thing I've ever laid eyes on, /and/ you're clever and caring, /and/ you have a voice that could get a rise out of a rock."

Jeff snorted some, shaking his head. "A rise out of a rock? I doubt it and you've never heard me sing even." He smiled to him, bringing his hand up to kiss the back of it. "You don't look too close in the mirror then if you think I'm that hot, you are radiantly hot."

At the stop sign leading into Joie's campus, Somer stared at Jeff. "You sing, too?" He facepalmed. "I don't even begin to measure up to you, I'm so outclassed."

"I'm not that good so don't read into it so much. I'm just okay," Jeff pointed out and smiled. "You're not, you measure out to be greater then I ever could be."

The redhead stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry. "Anyway you know how I feel about mirrors and how I look." He parked neatly, pleased that there was an empty space near to Schuester. "... are you coming in?"

"I do but that doesn't mean you're not good looking." Jeff smiled, shrugging to him. He wanted to but he didn't know after all that teasing and still saying he just wanted kisses and cuddles that Somer would want him to. "Do you want me to come in?"

Somer slung his backpack over his shoulder, looking at Jeff in the streetlights. "I always want you to come in."

"Then I will come in." Jeff grabbed his bag as well, swinging it over his shoulder. "You know tomorrow, my hair is going to be extra blonde just because we went to the beach." He smiled, taking Somer's free hand as they walked in, Jeff having grabbed the blanket.

"I don't see how, it's practically white already." Somer reached way up and fluffed it before punching in the code for the dorm. He flicked his keys around one-handed to get to his room key and shouldered the door open.

"Yeah yeah." Jeff pushed his hand away. Once they were in and then in Somer's room, jeff kissed his neck as he stripped down once more. "I'm going to shower and get the sand out if tha'ts okay."

"Yeah, I'm gonna go dump the leftovers in the kitchen for everybody else." Somer watched Jeff out of the corner of his eye, trying not to get wound up again. Except how was he supposed to do that if his boyfriend insisted on kissing his neck /and/ taking off his clothes?

"Umm nono, those are still ours and I'd like to eat more, please." Jeff pouted. "I'm trying to eat more like a bird so here and there, not a lot at once and I know I need a little more." He kissed Somer's cheek. "Just save them here for me please." Jeff ran off then to get into the shower.

Somer blinked after him. "I guess I'm putting it in my mini-fridge then ... ?" He just hoped there was enough space in there. Toeing off his sandals, he ran a hand through his own hair to get some of the dried sand and salt out, and took the time while Jeff was in the shower to strip out of his own damp swim shorts and rub the sand off his body. Then he pulled on some loose lounging pants and curled up in the papasan chair to wait.

Jeff came back moments later in only his towel. He hadn't thought of what that could do to Somer. "Sorry forgot my sweats in here." Grabbing them from the bag, he slipped them on under his towel then tossed it in the hamper as he shook out his hair. "All clean ... nice pants, they look good on you."

The redhead glanced up as Jeff emerged, then ended up staring, a flush slowly creeping up his cheeks. "I just want to point out," he said slowly, voice a little high, "that you are not making this whole behaving thing easy for me. It's like some kind of test."

Jeff sat on his bed, beckoning Somer to come closer before he spoke. Taking his boyfriend's hands, he brought Somer down to straddle his lap. "I'm not testing you, I might be teasing some but not testing you. Sometimes the things that turn you on, I'm still learning and I want this to be more than sex. I want to have these moments too in your room and mine where we just do this, talk and cuddle and kiss ... "

"I think I might have mentioned before," Somer said, putting his arms around his boyfriend's neck, "that you just kissing me at all is exciting. And you insist on kissing my neck." He smiled at Jeff. "In fact, pretty much everything you like to do turns me on, so I think we're just stuck as soon as you touch me."

"Hmm well I'm sorry but I like kissing you," Jeff replied, kissing him softly. "I think we have to work on your control then because a kiss is something I can't get enough of with you."

Somer leaned in, resting his forehead against Jeff's. "I can't get enough of /you/," he whispered. "And when I have you this close, and the door's locked, I just. Want everything to do with you."

"I want it too but I want it slow." Jeff looked into his eyes. "Somer, I'm still scared to let you touch me and I need time for that and I just really want to focus on this, on us as us without sexual things in the mix. But trust me I want to give in, I'm just trying not to."

The redhead pulled back, leaning out against Jeff's hold to look at him. "... you're scared to let me touch you?" He bit his lip, looking suddenly very worried. "I -- I'm sorry, Jeff ... "

Jeff sighed. "It's not you, it's the past and how no one really wanted to. So I get scared at the idea and I like to look into eyes more than have you do the things I do with you but I'm working on it. I am, just gotta be patient with me please," he said, nuzzling his cheek.

"Jeff," Somer murmured. "Blondie. Oh, blondie, what have they done to you? How could /anyone/ not want to touch you?" He pushed the blond hair gently out of Jeff's eyes, searching his face. "Listen. When I say I can't get enough of you, it's everything about you. It's the way you smile, and that little toss of your head you do to get your hair out of your eyes, and how long your legs are, and how sincere you are most of the time. It's the way you try to be devoted to about six people all at the same time, and how your heart shows when you dance. It's not just the way you make me feel physically.

"I really like that," Somer admitted. "It's new, and exciting, and I like it a lot. But when I say everything about you is a turn on, I really mean that. I really am Jeff-sexual. This Jeff, this particular one right here, holding me in his lap."

Jeff could feel the tears pricking his eyes as Somer spoke. He smiled, though; how could he not? Hearing all that had his heart racing and his smile becoming bigger and bigger. Sucking his lip, he leaned into Somer's forehead. "Thank you, Somer. Thank you for saying all that and for meaning it."

The redhead touched the tip of his finger to the place where Jeff was biting on his lip. "Don't do that," he whispered. "I want to do that. Later, when you want me to do that to you. Don't cry, though."

"It's happy tears," Jeff replied, sucking his lip some more. "You can bite it if you want, I can control myself, plus I like your rough kisses." He closed his eyes and just rested close to Somer.

Somer laughed softly. "Isn't the point here that you like everything about me?" He stroked Jeff's hair, kissing it lightly. "Why don't we lie down, and you can be the little spoon? I'll just turn on the fairy lights and the night sounds, even though it's not that late, and I'll try to be good."

"Because I like you being my little spoon but given what I did ... why don't we just lay down and face each other. Still want to kiss you while I cuddle you," Jeff pointed out and moved to lay down as he waited for Somer to come back to the bed.

"I want to hold you. I want to wrap you up and make you feel safe and wanted," Somer said. "Like you've done for me."

"You can still hold me while I kiss you ... please." Jeff pouted. "Then I'll be the little spoon for you."

Somer pointed out gently, "If you kiss me, I'm going to want more." Then he sighed with a slight smile, kissed Jeff's pouty lip, and gave in. "Okay." He climbed in the bed, stretching out beside Jeff.

Jeff wrapped his arms around Somer's neck. "Just little kisses, promise." Pressing light and loving kisses to Somer's lips. "Just need some kisses before we go to sleep."

Another soft laugh. "Blondie, I'm not going to sleep. It's way too early for me, I won't be able to fall asleep for hours. You can sleep," he said between kisses. It was hard to resist the urge to kiss Jeff more slowly, more deeply, to chase that mouth and drink from it until he'd had enough.

"Is like 10 ... when do you fall asleep?" Jeff asked as he brushed his fingers through Somer's hair and kissed him again. He knew they both wanted more for the kisses but they couldn't go there right now. They needed to behave.

"Try closer to nine. And I usually don't fall asleep til around one." Somer gently ran his fingertips along Jeff's cheek. "You can sleep, though, I don't mind. I'm just going to read."

Jeff yawned. "Fine I'm a sleepy head." Rolling over, Jeff curled back into Somer and let his eyes drift shut.

Somer pulled another pillow behind his head and picked up his copy of the Divine Comedy, determined to get through another few pages before he slept. It was nice to have Jeff's warmth tucked up against him, and he put an arm up to let his hand rest on his boyfriend's head. A bit later, when Jeff started to snore, Somer gave him a fond smile and nudged him.

Jeff felt Somer moving some but he didn't stir. Even as Somer nudged him, he laid there for a moment then rolled over to cuddle up to Somer more, his legs tangling into his boyfriend's as he nuzzled his chest.

The redhead muffled a laugh, but at least Jeff had stopped snoring. Somer snuggled closer, sliding down a bit, and laid his book down to just look at his boyfriend. How had this happened? It was so unexpected, the way Jeff had slid into his life and taken over all the empty chunks. He was going to try to be more open to his boyfriend, but he was definitely scared. How long would he get to hold on to this before it was ripped away?

#c:jeff #para: jeff.#para: 7.24 picnic date #;para

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