#Sorry idc if this is cringe or too self-indulgent <3< /div>
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rosethreeart · 1 year ago
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Lions, Mice, and Apples
Summery: She would not let fear get the best of her. She had a green-eyed little apple to protect and love. She would not let her fears or new and old wounds get the best of her.
Word Count: 1061
Statetalia fic about Abigail dealing with being a mom for the very first time and the fears and insecurities that came with it :)
Abigail didn’t know what to do. She was all alone, with no one left for her to turn to. Her bosses feared for her and her safety ( or was it the shame they feared?), making her swear not to speak a word of it to anyone, especially other nations. Not that she could entirely blame them. She had just gained independence, and whilst various nations were eager to show their support for her, they were still, well, nations. Eager and power hungry beings who have a tendency to follow orders without hesitancy or care for the damages they may cause. Always looking for a one up in the world or a way to play a sneaky little trick to gain an upper hand. 
Her father always seemed like a precautionary man, but thinking about it now, might have just been a tad possessive. Teaching her to fear and not to trust others, humans especially. Dangerous creatures they are, more so than the wolves that stalk the forests. 
Her father would always say:  If you have to choose between fleeing into a forest or cowering in a village, choose the forest.
 So that’s what she did…
…Metaphorically of course. She was all but too terrified to leave the safety and comfort of the one thing she ever truly knew: her home.
Her home that she loved so dearly. The one where her father would sing her old lullabies and mutter comforting words to her in the night when she was scared or sickly. The one where she spent hours playing carefree in the yard, her father joining her or watching from the porch. The one where she learned to read and write and grow. The one where she all too soon had to learn to raise herself. The one she had to flee for a few years out of fear of her father’s rage from the actions of his people, who longed to be her people. 
Her father, who turned from this kind caring man, to one of anger and hate. Whose eyes turned from a gentle, glistening green, to cold, venomous and calculating. The man who no longer wished to welcome her with open arms but instead a musket with an intent to kill. The one who went from no harm shall ever come to you as long as I’m here to the one actively hunting her down.
 Her father always told her not to be a meek little mouse but a lion. She never really understood what he meant until she had her own game of cat and mouse with him. 
Yet even still, after all of that she could never bring herself to hate him. Even a year after the signing of The Treaty of Paris in 1793, she still revered him and craved his approval and attention. She still loved him dearly, although many others couldn't understand why. A part of her doesn’t understand why either, but another part refuses to question it. Yet even still she couldn’t bring herself to tell her father of this new...predicament that she has found herself in. Whether or not it was the actions and still healing wounds from the war, or the knowing disapproval, or the fear that he might try to control her again that made her hesitate, she didn’t know. Nor did she care. All she knew was that he was not to be trusted, her daughterly affections be damned. 
Who else did she have left? 
Certainly not her loyalist brother. She loves him dearly but is aware that telling him would be all too much of a risk. Potentially she could tell France or Prussia, they did help her after all. However, she knew that they only really helped her out of spite for her father. She had grown rather close to the Prussian, who seemed to act more like a fatherly/brotherly figure to her. That seed of fear her father had planted in her consciousness many many moons ago was still there, always in the back of her mind, now stronger than ever, preventing her from doing so it seems. 
You can’t trust other nations, not even your father now.
She wanted to cry. She was terrified and alone.
Well…not really alone.
She had no clue how it happened.
 She just knew that it did. 
Her congressmen joked and hailed her as the new Virgin Mother Mary. She laughed along with them at the time, but that didn’t stop the anxiety from crawling up her throat (or was that morning sickness?) and fear of the implication that this may not be the last time this occurs. She handled it as well as any fairly young woman with nobody but herself to lean on could. She held her chin up high and braved through the months; just as her father always taught her to do when she was scared. . 
She herself never truly had a chance to be much of a child, especially by nation standards. How was she to raise one? Would she do a good job? Would it be human? Would it die like one?  Would she grow to resent her child like how her father resented her? She could not say, nor could she (or wanted to) speculate. 
But now as wailing subsided and grumpy little eyes opened, she couldn’t help but feel all those insecurities and doubts and fears flood back into her. 
Bright green eyes met teary blues. 
Oh, he looked so much like his grandfather…
A light dusting of straw blond hair on his head. A stern, yet somehow also joyous expression seemed to be his default. Much like the one her father has.
As close as apples may be to trees, she knew right then and there something would be different. She knew that she had no fear when it came to turning into her father. Unlike him she would never stop loving this little one currently resting in her arms. 
She would make sure of it. 
However apples still tend to fall close. 
The proof was right in front of her. 
And so she decided to give him a name. One, to her, that would mean bravery, kindness, and an unwavering refusal to back down. One that reminded her of affection and wanderlust and hope. One that she knew she would always revere. 
She would name him Arthur. 
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disgustingtoast · 4 years ago
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my shitty, shitty minho fic that took ages [tmr minho]
I'm sick of rereading this so here is 3.5k words of shitty, self indulgent writing. The confession could have 100% been more heartfelt but I'm sick of looking this in my google docs. There is most definitely a ton of mistakes but idc <3
this isn't really enemies to lover but the whole dynamic minho and the reader have kinda wrote itself lmao
HERE YOU MFS- @agathallalongs @blanknamed
You were fine with the way you woke up. Hell, you preferred it over some snot-nosed kid coming in and waking you up. And as it turns out, having the same schedule for a little under a year makes for a great internal clock, the habit of getting up in time for your daily run already having been instilled in you for months. So when you’re pulled from the peaceful lulls of sleep because of the feeling of being flipped upside down and landing face-first into the dirt floor of the Glade, you were rightfully peeved.
“Rise and shine shank.”
Minho. Of course it was Minho.
“I’m gonna throw you off the Cliff the minute we’re far enough into the Maze.” Sitting up, you try to rub off the dirt that got on your face when you face planted, scowling at the stains that litter the front of your shirt. “This was a new shirt too.”
“Were you thinking of going running with me or do you plan on sitting in the dirt all day?” Despite him being out of sight you can practically see the smug look he’s wearing. “Hey, maybe you can convince Winston to let you get in the pig pen so you can take a nice mud bath.”
Groaning, you finally stand up and turn around to face him. He’s standing with his arms crossed, holding a paper bag which you presumed had your lunch in it on the other side of your hammock, your very, very twisted hammock.
“Why the hell did you wake me up? I get up fine on my own.”
He shrugs in response, “I just felt like it.”
“You just felt like waking me up or you just felt like getting the world record for ‘biggest pain in the ass’?”
“A bit of both, and seeing your face when you spat out that dirt made you so much more attractive.”
Heat crawls up your neck in embarrassment, “Slim it.” Furrowing your eyebrows in frustration, you gesture in front of you to the tangled mess that hangs between you, “Also you’re gonna fix that.”
“No. It’s your bed.”
“You’re the one who flipped me over! Fix it.”
He stares at you for a second before turning on his heel and jogging off. While he turns to leave you barely catch the way his lips quirk into a smirk. As you watch his retreating figure you can feel your fingers twitch, the urge to strangle him suddenly overwhelming.
“Hey! Get back here shuck-face!” As quickly as you can, you slip your shoes on, not bothering to tie them and pull the leather harness over your head. After one last disapproving glance at your pathetic hammock you’re off, racing after Minho in an effort not to let him get too far ahead. If he beat you to the Doors you’d never hear the end of it.
By the time you catch up with him you’re out of breath. Everytime you would get closer than a few feet behind him he’d run a little faster keeping you at a good few paces behind him, succeeding at prolonging your ever-growing exasperation.
Eventually though he lets you catch up until you’re running side by side, a few meters away from the Walls. “This prison wouldn’t be half as bad if the Creators had put anyone else in here other than you. Preferably someone cuter, without such a punchable face.” You don’t have to look at him to imagine the offended look on his face, one of his most punchable expressions actually.
“I am by far the most attractive guy here. The rest of these shanks look like klunk in cargo shorts.”
“Yeah no. You don’t even break the top 21 on my list.” Once you reach the wall, you lean against it, waiting for the doors to open. When you look at Minho he quirks an eyebrow.
“You have a list?” He pauses for a moment, “Wait there’s only 22 gladers. You included yourself on your own list?”
“Good job! I wasn’t sure if you knew how to count.”
“Slim it. So who’re the top 3?”
You pause for a moment pretending to mull it over. “Well, Gally’s got that whole tall and brooding thing going. And Nick, well I like a man who can take charge-”
“Yeah, yeah okay I get it.” He waves his hand in the air rather indignantly, dismissing what you said. After a minute of silence. the grating sound of rock being dragged against rock echoes through the Glade as the Doors finally start to open. As he tightens the straps of his harness, Minho glances down at the ground and pauses for a moment before he snickers, “You better tie your shoes if you don’t want to trip and ruin your pretty face. Might knock you down a few pegs on that list of yours.”
~
It had been hours since you’d left the Glade, running the familiar course of the Maze. The only entertainment being watching the way the back of Minho’s neck turns a lovely shade of red every time you make a particularly irritating comment.
“Hey it’s getting late. We should go back to the Glade.”
Minho shakes his head in disbelief. “It’s not that late. We still have plenty of time to get back.”
“But I finally convinced Fry to make bacon and there's no way that they’ll be any left unless we get there early.” You draw out the last syllable in a whine, knowing exactly how to get under his skin.
He pivots, still continuing to run just now facing backwards. “Is Frypans bacon really more important than finding a way out of this hell hole?”
“Yes!”
“...Fine-” His sigh of annoyance is cut off abruptly as he trips, falling backwards and landing with a loud huff as the air is knocked out of his lungs.
“Shit, Minho!” You kneel beside him as he lays still, “Are you okay?!” Your voice seems to ricochet off the walls.
It takes a moment before he groans, his eyes still closed. “Why are you so shucking loud?”
“Sorry. Are you okay?” Quieting your tone, you hover over him.
He finally opens his eyes, “M’ fine. I just tripped.” Pushing himself up, he tries to stand but the minute he puts pressure on his ankle he gasps in pain, stumbling into you as you stand to catch him.
“Shit. Okay, you just need to sit down.” You lead him over to the wall, letting him support himself against it before he slides down to sit. When he stretches his legs out in front of him you take to kneeling again, this time next to his feet. Rolling back the bottom of his pant leg you check to see how bad his ankle is and judging by the wincing and the gritting of his teeth you’re betting on not good.
It’s only been a minute but you feel your heart drop at the way it’s already swollen and starting to bruise. You frown as you press your finger against it lightly, snapping your hand back as Minho recoils, growling in pain.
“Don’t touch it!”
“Fine. Good luck finding someone else in here that’ll help you. I’m sure the Grievers would be happy to assist.”
“It just hurts asshole, no need to get snappy.”
“Yeah, yeah just stop your whining you big baby.”
He cringes as you begin to prod his ankle again and sets his head back to rest against the wall.
“Well I’d say it’s just a fracture, it doesn't look too messed up- Minho?” He doesn’t respond. “Hey! Minho!” You reach in front of his face and snap your fingers, “C’mon I need you to wake up!”
He moans as he opens his eyes, well squints his eyes. He can barely keep them open half way, “Why is it so bright in here?”
Furrowing your eyebrows you glance up, it really isn’t that bright, gray clouds float across the majority of the sky and cover most of the sun. Looking back at his face, you can’t stop the nauseating feeling of fear that gnaws in your stomach. “Here, move your head off the wall, I need to check something.”
The dark stain on the wall where he was resting against is enough evidence but some irrational, hopeful part of you checks anyways, reaching around him and pressing your fingers to the back of his head. When you bring your hand back, your fingers are covered in blood.
“Damn it.” You try your hardest to push down the anxiety thundering in your stomach as you grab Minho’s arm and wrap it around your shoulder. Now is not the time to panic. “We need to get you back to the Glade.”
~
You’re not surprised he’s heavy, almost a year of running almost everyday tends to build up a lot of muscle however that doesn't make it any easier for you to carry him. You had to have been stumbling around for hours before you had to fully set him down to catch your breath.
“You really need to lay off Fry’s cooking. I’m telling him that you’re going on a diet the minute we get back.”
You only get silence in response, prompting you to look over and make sure he hadn’t passed out again. His eyes were open but his mind seemed to be elsewhere, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes focusing on something on the wall across from the one you were leaning against. You raise your hand and rest it against his shoulder, “Minho?”
“You need to leave me behind.”
The nauseous feeling returns, “What? No way I’m leaving you here to be Griever food.”
His face twists in frustration as he turns to look at you. “We’ll both be killed if you don’t get the hell out!”
“We still have time! I can carry you the rest of the way just fine.” Grabbing his wrist you pull his arm across your shoulders, tightening your grip when you feel him try to tug his arm back. “We’re going.” You wrap your arm around his waist to support him as you force him to stand.
He tries to pull away, “Why are you being so shucking stubborn! I can barely walk! There’s no way you’ll make it time before the Doors close.”
“Well that’s tough for me I guess.” You begin to walk forward, trying to adjust the way his body weight rested against you.
He begins to say your name but you interrupt him, “No! I’m not leaving you and that’s final.” Cursing the slight waver in your voice you continue to look ahead, choosing to ignore the frustrated look on his face.
It doesn’t take long for exhaustion to set in, Minho seeming to weigh even more every ten minutes. As you drag your feet across the uneven floor, the toe of your shoe catches on a crack, sending you both stumbling forward for what seems like the fiftieth time. The only difference is that this time you aren’t able to catch yourself, fatigue catching up with you and sending both you and Minho careening forward.
Stabbing pain shoots through your legs as you fall to your knees, the sound of Minho groaning in pain causes waves of guilt to wash over you. The sudden realization of just how dire your situation seems to suffocate you.
This was all your fault, if you hadn’t been so annoying Minho never would have tripped. If you were strong enough you would have been able to carry him all the way. Why weren’t you strong enough?
The soft call of your name shakes you out of your stupor, it’s followed by a hand pressed against the side of your face. It’s only when his thumb swipes against your cheek that you realize you’re crying.
“I’m sorry.” You shift slightly until you’re sitting down, knees pulled up to your chest. He follows and sits next you with his legs stretched out, hissing as he accidentally drags his ankle across the ground. “This is my fault.” Staring at the exposed part of his ankle, your stomach swirls at the dark purple bruising.
When he notices you staring he’s quick to pull his pant leg down, “This isn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have been running backwards.” He watches you for a second, contemplating, before he speaks again, “You can still leave now and make it.”
“I’m not talking about this again.”
“Why not-”
“I just can’t leave you behind okay! It would kill me knowing that I got us into this mess and I couldn’t get both of us out alive.”
“So you’re just going to kill yourself because you would feel bad if you didn’t?” At his harsh words you whip your head to look at him, surprised to find him angry, his nose flaring and teeth gritting.
“Why are you getting so mad?! And you know it’s more than that! I’m not leaving you here, you can yell all you want but it’s not going to change anything.”
He throws his hands up in the air in indignation, “Why?! Why do you have to be so stubborn!” His tone is harsh and he practically spits his words at you.
A flurry of emotions lodges in your throat and a burning, hot anger ignites in the deepest pits of your stomach. Your lips are moving faster than your brain can process, “Because I love you, you idiot! I can’t just leave you behind because you're the reason I haven’t jumped the shucking Cliff yet!” Your heart is beating impossible fast and for a split second you wonder if it’s going to beat right out of your chest. You watch as Minho’s face morphs into an expression of shock and before you can identify the emotion swirling in his eyes you swear you can hear someone's footsteps.
You scramble to your feet, straining your ears in hopes that you weren’t imagining it. In the distance you hear the rushed strides of someone running in your direction and you swear you feel your heart skip a beat. It was far too late for another runner to be out in the Maze.
“Hey!” Cupping your hands around your mouth you hope they hear you. You hear Minho grunt and the sound of him dragging against the stone wall as he stands.
His voice rings through Maze as he calls out.
After a moment of tense silence you hear the quick foot falls of another runner getting closer before you spot his familiar blond hair turning the corner.
“Ben! Oh my god!”
He comes to a stop in front of you, his expression worried, “What are you guys still doing here? The Doors are closing soon!”
“Minho got hurt and I wasn’t able to carry him all the way back. Why are you out so late?”
“I figured I’d stay out later than usual. Had a bad feeling.” He glances over your shoulder to look at Minho. “We need to get going if we want to make it in time.”
Nodding your head, you turn around and make your way over to where Minho is leaning against the wall. You can feel his eyes on you, pleading for you to look at him but you’re adamant at avoiding eye contact. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Ben glancing back and forth between you, no doubt feeling the tension.
Having someone else there to help made carrying Minho infinitely easier and the three of you stumbled through the doors just as they began to groan, closing behind you.
“What took you so bloody long?” The familiar accent of Newt floats across the Glade but you’re too exhausted to even look in his direction. It isn’t until he’s standing right in front of you that you tear your eyes from Ben and Minho as they make their way to the Med-Jack hut.
“Minho fractured his ankle and got a concussion.” Your hands clench in anger as you speak, “If it hadn’t been for Ben we wouldn’t have made it out.”
“Aren’t you going to go check on him?” Newt frowns at you.
The thought of being in the same room with Minho after you practically dumped your heart out on him made your stomach churn. “No, I think- I think I’m just going to let him rest for now.”
Newt opens his mouth to comment, no doubt going to point out that you never left Minho’s side but you’re quick to interrupt him. “I’m exhausted. I’m going to go shower and get some rest.” You force a smile and begin to walk in the direction of the showers before he’s able to speak.
It seems to take ages to get to the bathrooms. Fatigue makes your limbs feel sluggish and the adrenaline of being in the Maze ebbs away, leaving aching muscles in its wake. You can’t seem to shake the thoughts of Minho as you scrub yourself clean. He probably wanted nothing to do with you and your big fat mouth. If you’d only bitten your tongue for another minute you wouldn’t have this looming air of regret suffocating you.
The regret seems to pull tighter against your throat when you notice your hammock, still twisted from this morning. Tears gather at your waterline, threatening to spill over. The view in front of you is distorted and watery and your fingers fumble with the twisted strings before you give up, whining in frustration.
You pause for a moment before turning in the direction of the Med-Jack hut, your heart desperately yearning to see him. Before you have time to think, you’re wiping your teary eyes with the back of your hand and practically jogging to the little run down shack, ignoring the throbbing pain in your legs.
Hesitating at the door you take a deep breath, steadying yourself before you’re pushing against it. The room is silent, both Clint and Jeff having left and gone to bed. Scanning the room you notice a bed in the corner, Minho sleeping peacefully under it’s covers. His face slack as he rests, his forehead covered by a thin, white bandage that stretches around his head. As you silently pull up a chair to his bedside you study him, it isn’t often you get to see his face when it isn’t creased with stress or in any expression other than a smirk.
Smiling softly. you reach up and pull his blanket up a little higher until it covers his shoulders, the night had a cold edge to it despite it being well into summer. After sitting there for a few minutes your eyelids begin to get heavy, like something was weighing them down. For a moment the idea of walking back to your hammock crosses your mind but you immediately dismiss it, just thinking about getting up is exhausting. You cross your arms on the side of his bed and rest your head against them. It doesn’t take long before the comfort of sleep consumes you.
Garbled words and the feeling of something brushing against your face is what wakes you this time. Opening your eyes, the first thing you notice are Minho’s pretty brown ones staring back at you, the next thing you notice are the hushed snickers from behind you. Shooting up straight you feel the warm rush of embarrassment flood your cheeks.
“It was about time you woke up!” Clint pipes up, “Lover boy here hasn’t stopped staring at you since we came in here to check on him.”
This time, pink begins to tint Minho’s cheeks and creep up his neck, “Slim it! Get outta here would ya?”
“Okay! We’re going!” You turn around just in time to see Clint pushing Jeff out the door and throwing you a wink before shutting the door.
The awkwardness is palpable as you stare down at your lap. The bed creaks as Minho shifts to sit up against the headboard, the sound seeming incredibly loud in the silence. Mustering up your courage you finally speak.
“I’m sor-”
“I love you too!’
Your head shoots up as he interrupts you, eyes wide as you take in his expression that mirrors your own.
“What?”
His body language tells you that he had most definitely not meant to say that, his mouth moving up and down as he tries to figure out what to say.
Your heart catches in your throat as you process his words, “You love me?”
At the slow nod of his head, a beaming smile splits your face, and before you can stop yourself you're pulling him into a crushing hug. Caught off guard, he stiffens for a moment as you wrap your arms around him but as soon as you let out a shaky breath against his neck he winds his arms around you.
“Is this okay?”
At your hushed tone he pulls you tighter against him, “This is more than okay.”
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