#Sorry for accidentally getting so mad i do poetry analysis but well coho has that effect on me i guess
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I had to rage annotate the edgy slam poetry
#Listen my poetry skills are rusty like most pf my writing analysis skills but like this sucks right?#Like i know almost rhymes are a thing but this shit does not seem intentional so its just kind of nothing and its not like its doing almost#Rhymes to unseat the reader or like idk not to go game of thrones mode but subvert the readers expectations#And its slam poetry so it doesnt need to but still theyre there#And theres the alliteration of sounds for one line and thats it!!!!!!! You arent doing anything fun or interesting with it!!!!#Also how do puddles fly and sheets wither like puddles are known for being...on the ground and sheets are like?????? Girl living things#Wither not sheets like say wrinkled but oh sorry i forgot thats not edgy enough mr puts guts berserks backstory in my slam poetry#Also like i know the sheets are red because ooohh blood colored thats spooky but that doesnt add anything that doesnt make an 'immaculate#Room' less immaculate it just makes it red#Also the break there is the page transition since im reading a digital copy but it might as well be in the texts for how poorly this all#Connects#Like why are you talking about rooms and death and being like oh i cant breathe like??? Even with death youre not describing smell shit#Youre only describing the visuals !!!#The rest of it is just so edgy it turns into pudding for how little substance it has!!!!!!!#Also sorry the it controls line still makes no sense to me like position is the noun right beforehand so its the antecedent or whatever the#Word is but it makes no sense like yeah i guess it does like the position/environment youre in controls your reactions to it but idk its#Just clunky and edgy and stupid#colleen hoover#Hater hours#Sorry for accidentally getting so mad i do poetry analysis but well coho has that effect on me i guess
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