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yandere-society · 5 years

Note

I'm hoping that the request is still open. Can I please please request a reaction from yandere rap line where the OC finally explained why she can't accept their feelings was because she believed that she doesn't deserve to be loved then the rap line found out that the reason why the OC was thinking that way was because that's what her family and friends keep on saying about her so they can use the OC for financial gain. Thank you so much

Your Love is Not Enough

Word Count: 4.5K

A/N: I wanted to try and write longer. The ending is alright I guess. I was inspired by class differences in Gatsby.

Trigger warnings: yandere-themes, domestic abuse, manipulation, slight sexual tension, profanity, graphic language, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, slut-shaming, threats. Please do not read if you are sensitive to these topics.

“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. ‘Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,’ he told me, ‘just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.’”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

It was typical, overhearing conversations on the city streets as you commuted. The annoying voices of kids and teens would push you to the edge. They never knew how lucky they were. It was days like these that you wished you could slap some sense into these kids. Their constant bothering and nagging of their parents for these material things. It was also inconsequential in the end.

While they complained about their clothing, you never were able to afford the trends. You never needed them, but you couldn’t help the feeling of being worth less than someone just because of what you wore. It was a repetitive pattern: you would watch as their eyes drifted up and down as if they were judging what you had on. It ticked you off as you clenched your fists. The annoying voice broke into your thoughts again.

“My phone broke! What do you mean you can’t get me a new one?”

It was as if fate was stopping you from flying that kid down the street. Your phone vibrated in your pocket, signaling a phone call. Taking out your outdated phone that you never needed to replace, you looked at the caller ID. Your eyes grew wide as you quickly accepted it and put it to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi, darling,” The smooth voice of your mother reached your ears, the velvety consistency of her voice that brought a warm feeling throughout your body. “Are you busy right now?”

“Uh, I am. Going to do class today.” You mumbled in an apologetic tone, walking across the street.

“I see.” A long and awkward silence was shared before she spoke again. “Your father is in the hospital. You know why. Just… If you have time, please give us a visit.”

“I understand… Bye.” You hung up, bringing your phone down as you hung your head down at the sidewalk.

Your notorious father… A huge hatred hung in your heart towards him and everyone knew it. He was the sole reason why your life had been so difficult. Drinking and wasting his days away, he dragged you and your mother down with him. In terrible debt, you struggled to support yourself at the most crucial point in your life, watching as your father spent the last of his paycheck on another case of beer. Instead of the notebooks you were supposed to store information in, the backpack which was supposed to hang on your back, or the folders to hold all your papers, you watched the last of the money selfishly spent on himself.

It was because of him that you refused and denied everything he was. His whole existence was an embarrassment to you. You studied grueling hours, always seen at the back of the library, your nose stuck in a book. The part-time job in which you worked for more than eight hours took pity on you, observing the way you saved your money to get that extra hour of tutoring. Your notebooks, filled to the brim with information as you desperately needed to ace the college entrance exam.

It finally paid off that fateful day as you got the letter of your acceptance, accepting to pay almost ¾ths of your tuition. You won. You forgot about your father, leaving his footprints and making your own path. The light was there at the end of the tunnel. Now you ran full speed ahead, hoping to forget everything of your past.

With a push of the door, you entered the campus library, walking to the special spot in the back. The rich architecture and wood that was delicately sculpted of the shelves brought about a calm and classy atmosphere. Your feet dragged on the soft carpeting, your eyes looking for the three blobs of hair in the corner. With a turn of the corner, three heads shot up as they saw your figure approach, two of them giving waves.

“Good morning, y/n.”

“Hi y/n!”

“…”

You smiled at the three men as they all gave you a gaze, each in their different way. Hoseok sat at the far left, his smile wide and eyes glittering as he looked up at you. He held a large textbook in his hand, a frame of glasses cutely adorning his face as they were on the verge of slipping off his face. His bubbly and exciting personality made it so that he got tasks done and quickly. He took charge regardless of situations and circumstances. While everyone was awkward and didn’t know what to do, Hoseok would propose something that everyone would try to follow. He started and initiated something, which made the difference. The existence of Jung Hoseok embodied “down to Earth”. He could get along with anyone. It didn’t matter. You were bound to end up liking him.

Which is how the man who sat in the middle ended up a part of this peculiar friend group. Yoongi, his head laid on the table as his arms propped it up, was the quiet one. Preferring to show his personality through equations and math, he was the one who silently observed everyone. His more expressive personality came up as he set fires on the countertops of the lab tables in the laboratory, watching as everyone panicked. He would always laugh at their scared expressions, standing with a proud smirk on his face.

“The tabletops are fireproof, you idiots.”

His dry humor was a huge breath of fresh air. He was “actual” comedy. There was never a doubt in your mind that he was judging everyone as if he was secretly planning world domination. He never denied it when you jokingly asked.

Namjoon sat on the far right, a notebook on the table and pencil in hand as his eyes drifted up towards you. His calm demeanor always set him as the mediator of the group. His love for biology connected the sentimental literature major Hoseok and the explosive chemistry major Yoongi.

It wasn’t difficult to bond with them. As they were already connected with each other, you quickly fit in. You were all bonded together with the love of learning. Before you had interrupted them, Hoseok was reading a physics textbook aloud, Yoongi translated it and broke it down as Namjoon wrote the easy to understand ideas in the notebook. You took a seat next to their assembly line of learning, watching with curiosity as Hoseok excitedly read the textbook. His excitedness made it seem like he was reading out of a children’s book.

Yoongi muttered and translated the complicated ideas softly to Namjoon. His voice was so quiet that Namjoon had to stop and ask him to speak louder. This definitely occurred more than once.

“Huh? What did you say? Can you repeat that?”

“I SAID-!”

“SHH! You’re in a library, yoon~” Hoseok chirped.

Your soft laughter would break them away from their little quarrel, a blush adoring Yoongi and Namjoon’s cheeks as they quickly went back to work. Hoseok would look up and watch in admiration as you laughed, your hand covering your mouth. From an outsider’s perspective, it would look as if a group of friends was goofing off, but to the four of you, you all loved each other.

It had not been long when you had realized you had fallen for these three boys. As you struggled with these feelings, you went to them, somewhat embarrassed, but more scared. Love was something you rarely experienced in your life. As you tried to hold back the tears of scars you didn’t want to reopen, they all embraced you, happy that you had come to them first.

The three of them had formed a pack, discussing ways to seduce you while also preventing any foreign intervention. They didn’t need to deal with someone who was just as smitten as them. Their toleration for each other blossomed into young love, as Hoseok charmed both men. They learned how to love the little quirks and charms of each other, believing that they were irreplaceable.

When you came to them, confessing your feelings, they all cried together. Hoseok had embarrassingly taken your first kiss out of elation, awkwardly crushing his lips onto yours. Yoongi ripped him off, not being to take the clumsiness of his affection. Namjoon stood in the back, awkwardly fiddling his fingers in embarrassment as his glasses slid lower on his face. He would cringe whenever he remembered the way his face heated up as he brought his lips onto yours, before ripping himself away. The sensation and the intense beat of his heart screamed out to him, saying how this was all he wanted. Yet, he felt a rush of insecurity at the thought of you ever leaving him. Leaving them.

As Hoseok ended on the last section of the chapter, he gently closed the top of the book flat on the table, a smile never leaving his lips. There was a calm silence that graced your group, but your smile faltered. The three pair of eyes observed your every expression, watching as they saw worry flicker in your eyes. On cue, Namjoon spoke up, his arm extending as he pushed your hair behind your ear.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“My father… He’s in the hospital right now.” You left out a sigh of annoyance which didn’t go unnoticed. “I’ll probably visit him after classes.” The boys hummed while Hoseok playfully tried to harmonize with the rest of their voices.

“Do you want us to come with you?” Namjoon asked, clasping his hands over his lap as he crossed his legs underneath the table. “We wouldn’t mind.” The two other boys nodded, agreeing with Namjoon’s statement.

“Yeah, I would appreciate that. I’ll text you the location later. Have to go now!”

You lifted yourself up from your seat as you gave each boy a small wave, off to your awaiting marketing class. As you disappeared off into the distance, their gazes grew dark.

“Do you think it’s a good idea to pay him a visit again?”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Hospitals. There was nothing great about being inside a hospital. It was sad, lonely, and filled with so many people with at least one thing in common. They were all hurt. Each patient had a story, one that you would be better off not knowing. The smell and the lighting all gave off an eerie vibe. There was nothing similar to home in a hospital. To you, it was no different from confinement. This was a place full of sad souls. And your father was no different.

The elevator ride was uncomfortable. It’s poorly dimmed lights tried its best to brighten up the small container, but there was no point. The old woman in a wheelchair was planted next to you as you subconsciously stepped away from her. You wanted to leave, but there was still a force that somewhat held onto you, telling you that it was the right thing to do. How you hated this soft part of yourself.

With a loud ding, the elevator stopped at your destination. The fourteenth floor, high above and peering over the city. Your sneakers squeezed on the smooth floor, walking over to the sign that was hung on the wall. You went left, towards room 13-4. You dragged your sweaty palm on the side of your pants, realizing just how nervous you were.

You didn’t pay your parents visits anymore. You don’t even know what compelled you to come here besides doing the right thing as their child. People would have told you that you shouldn’t go to see them. But even so, you couldn’t help but hold onto the naive belief that your father wasn’t always like that. Vague memories flooded in your mind as you stood in front of the door, unable to turn the handle. You reminisced about the memories of your early childhood and the small happiness that they gave you before everything came crashing down.

With great intensity, you pushed the door, stepping in and looking over at your mother who sat next to your father’s bed. Your mother looked up first, her lips curling up as she met your eyes.

“Hi,” you breathed out, suddenly out of breath. “How is he?”

“He’s just suffering from alcohol poisoning.” She replied, tapping his arm and shaking him awake. “Honey, y/n came to visit.”

The pet name made you internally cringe, the snap of bad memories of drunken fights that flashed instantly through your mind. Your eyes darted to your father, who lay in the hospital bed. His cheekbones were more apparent than before and his arms were skinnier, lacking the muscle that used to be there. A small smile graced the corner of your lips at the revelation that this man could no longer hit or pull you down anymore. As you stood by his bedside, you felt powerful, your eyes looking down and boring into his skull as he was forced to lay there.

A small knock broke you from your thoughts as you looked back, three men poking their heads in as they shuffled in. They all hung their heads low, ducking as if they were intruding on some secret plan. You had to stifle your laugh because they looked absolutely ridiculous.

“Oh mom, these guys are three of my friends in college.” You directed your hands towards them as they bowed politely, biting their lips from correcting you and admitting that they were dating you. Your father had awakened slowly, rubbing his eyes as he looked from your mother to the trio in the back. He held back from cursing out, “Who the fuck are these clowns?”

“Hello,” Namjoon started as he gave a polite full 90-degree bow. “I’m Kim Namjoon. It’s nice to meet you.” He nudged the rest of the two boys to go.

“Hi! I’m Jung Hoseok! Nice to meet ya~” He smiled wide, bowing, with his hair flicking up as he brought his head back.

“Hello… I’m Min Yoongi.” He murmured, bowing like the rest.

You father stared at the three men, grunting and turning onto his side. He laid expressionless as he looked straight into your eyes.

“Are you a slut now?”

Your mouth fell agape in pure disbelief. You couldn’t even find the words to describe your shock and the pure disgustingness of his comment. As you sputtered, the eyes of Namjoon and Yoongi turned dark while Hoseok no longer held a smile on his face, but instead completely blank.

“I came to see you and this is how you treat me?” You shouted, trying to keep your composure even though you felt the urge to slam the door shut and leave.

“Well, are you?”

“No!” You yelled, getting more furious by the second. You turned to the boys, your eyes pleading for them to step out of the room. They nodded, Hoseok staring straight into your mother’s eyes before heading out.

“What are their future careers?” Your father yawned, leaning his head into the soft pillow.

“Teachers for their respective subjects.” You leaned on the white stone of the hospital walls, taking deep breaths to dissolve your anger.

“Teachers?” He repeated in disgust. “They won’t make enough money, they’re teachers.”

You just had about enough of this. Your father had crossed the line, pushing each and every one of your buttons.

“And what would you know? You barely make any money in general, sitting on your drunk ass every day.” You grit your teeth, turning your heel towards the door.

“So what? You can’t be with three people anyways.” His voice stopped you before you could grab ahold of the handle. “You’re dating them right? Anyways, we don’t think they’re good for you.”

You snickered, glaring at him from the door.

“Just watch me.”

Your feet carried you as you sped down the hallway, lost in thought.

I’ve overcome so many obstacles in my life to get where I am today. Does he really think his opinion is going to change that? If I cared so much about his opinion, I would’ve ended up just like him. Taking my anger on others for my own faults. Struggling to get my daily dose of alcohol. No better than a failure.

When you turned the corner, you ran into the three boys near the elevator. They gave you a concerned look, but you just brushed it off, giving them a reassuring smile and thumbs-up.

On the other hand, your mother just sat there in the hospital room, looking at the ground. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she dreaded what was to come. She couldn’t speak up even though she knew. Their gaze was sharp, something that made an impression the first time she had seen them. She squeezed her eyes shut. You definitely had jumped to a conclusion. You had no idea what those boys were behind those masks. She gasped at the realization of her actions. She just let her daughter run into the palm of crazed maniacs.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

The dark of the night was perfect for three men looking to fulfill their deepest and darkest desires of you. The boys had you cornered in the comfort of their shared home, a space where they shared the rent together. You sat on the bed, your back hitting the headboard as Hoseok and Yoongi sat on each side. Their close proximity was excruciating close, causing your face to flush red. You remembered it was barely past the first month since you had started dating them, yet you trusted them entirely.

“Is this why you were so hesitant at first?” Hoseok whispered in your ear, his voice sending tingles down your arms, making your hands like putty.

“Poor baby, she’s been through a lot.” Yoongi spoke from the other side of your ear, his hand brushing up your leg.

Namjoon stood in front of you, his fingers running through your lower lip as he glanced up from your mouth to your eyes. “Care to share his name?”

“Guys… It’s really fine now. You don’t need t-”

With a harsh yank, Namjoon tilted your head up as he connected a deep kiss with your lips. He dove straight into the cavern of your mouth as you pushed him out of reflex and shock.

“I won’t ask again, y/n.” His voice was low as separated from your lips with a ‘pop’. His dark gaze sent a shudder down your spine. You eventually gave in, telling them what they wanted. At first, it was difficult for you to open up to the boys about your problems, afraid it might drive them away. But over time, you realized that they were more than happy to know more about you. They loved it when you were honest with them, sharing your raw feelings were the highlight of their days. It took months for you to share about your not so glamour household. But now, they finally got the names and the address.

“That was really pressuring…” You groaned, your face still red with embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, y/n.” Hoseok cooed, bringing his hands up to cup your cheeks. He nudged your foreheads together as he laughed with you. His smile was contagious as you couldn’t help but smile with him.

It’s a shame he really wasn’t.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

“Did you find it?” Namjoon’s voice reached his lover’s as he himself typed away on his keyboard.

“Yup got it right here,” Hoseok responded, his face serious and his eyes fixed on his computer.

The arrest record of your father, as well as the warrant, flashed on the screen. Yoongi looked over with such disgust, it could’ve killed.

“I’m going to kill that fucker, I swear I’m going to-”

“Yoongi, breathe.” Hoseok snapped, his gaze never leaving his screen as he scrolled through his computer. Yoongi murmured things under his breath, remembering the tricks his partners had taught him on anger management. It was a “turn-off”, they had told him, something that made people not want to befriend them. Namjoon and Hoseok would snap at him, reminding Yoongi how important their image was. It mattered even if they weren’t in public. Bad habits tended to display in times of immense pressure, something they didn’t need.

“Okay, we’re going to pay them a lovely visit. How does that sound?” Namjoon spoke up, the three boys crowding around his office desk in their small living space. With a loud slam of the top of Yoongi’s laptop, he pushed it off to the side, collecting his bag and coat.

“Let’s go,” Yoongi called from the door, slipping into his sneakers. Hoseok followed, his serious gaze never leaving his face. Namjoon threw on a trench coat, collecting his things and locking the door.

The sun was setting as the boys made it to the neighborhood where you previously resided in. Yoongi adjusted his bucket hat and the black surgical mask that hung around his ears. Namjoon slipped on his shades and beanie, preferring to shove his hands in his pockets. Hoseok opted for a white mask, his hair blowing in the open wind. The three moved quickly, splitting up as they rapidly approached your street.

On a three-way call, Namjoon delivered quick instructions as the boys roamed around. Namjoon pressed his phone closer to his ear as he heard the ruffle of a coat and deep breaths.

“Namjoon. I found one.” In a flash, Hoseok cut off the line before Namjoon could yell anything. He sighed in frustration, instructing Yoongi to meet him at Boulevard Street. Yoongi jogged to Namjoon, looking around for Hoseok.

“Where’d he go?”

Namjoon groaned. “He found one. I bet he’s playing around.”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

“Why aren’t you such a doll~” Hoseok cooed sarcastically, taking excruciatingly slow steps towards his prey. “Why are you so scared of me? I haven’t even done anything yet, darling.” The woman looked behind her, nothing but a dark and closed off alley that she was only slowly backing into.

“I’m hoping you had enough fun of cat and mouse? I gave you a fair shot to escape, but you’re the one that cornered yourself here. Can’t you see? This is your fault. You deserve this.”

The fear that radiated off the poor woman sent a pleasurable shock down his spine. Hoseok licked his lips in anticipation feeling on the verge of exploding. He couldn’t contain his excitement in him anymore. He needed a release. NOW

“Oh Mrs. Y/L/N, seeing you so scared and weak is truly enjoyable. I think I can understand why you can’t do anything for your daughter. You’re too weak.” He watched as her expression changed in humiliation, her whole body shaking in fear. Hoseok grabbed onto the collar of her shirt, his eyes staring into hers.

“You’re pathetic.”

Hoseok let go of his grip, watching as her legs gave out onto the dirty ground. He turned his heel without looking back as he left the alley. His feet carried him as he called Namjoon back on his phone. Within seconds, he picked up.

“Did you have your fun?” Namjoon’s voice came in, perfectly annoyed.

“I did~” Hoseok cheered, a smile returning back to his lips. “How about you?”

“Yeah, we saw him. Taught him a lesson. Yoongi surprisingly held himself back more than usual.”

Hoseok hummed into his phone, increasing the pace of his strides. “I thought I was going to have to interfere if things got too violent, but all he did was spit some nasty threats at him. Even I got chills.”

Hoseok heard Namjoon chuckle out of his receiver. Music to his ears. “See you soon, Joon.” Hoseok murmured into his phone. “I miss hyung already.”

“Aish, you always get soft after your outbursts.” Hoseok’s eyes looked over at the street sign, looking at Boulevard Street. He walked across the street, his phone still pressed next to his ear. “Well anyways, you’ll need to calm him down, he’s pretty worked up.”

When Namjoon and Yoongi appeared in the far distance, Hoseok ended the call, running up to meet them halfway. Hoseok bent down, swooping up Yoongi into his arms. Giggling, Hoseok squeezed the older, feeling his body slack in his arms.

“Did you have fun?” Yoongi mumbled into his chest, his arms coming up to push himself off. Yoongi was brought back onto the ground as Hoseok turned around and bent down again. Yoongi jumped onto his back as Hoseok hoisted him up until the older sat on his shoulders. Namjoon followed behind, watching as his two partners displayed blatant affection with each other.

“Mhm. How about you?”

A low chuckle fell from Yoongi’s lips. “He was absolutely terrified. I don’t think he’ll ever touch her again.”

The three of them let out each of their own smirks before arriving at the bus stop. Hoseok let Yoongi down as they both stared at Namjoon, making him feel awkward and out of place.

“W-what?” He asked, their stares making him feel self-conscious. It was a subconscious reflex as Namjoon folded his arms in front of his chest.

“Don’t you feel left out sometimes?” Hoseok asked, cocking his head to the side. Yoongi nodded in agreement as he stared at the younger.

“No, I’m alright, guys. I don’t really like that sort of affection…” He trailed off, refusing to meet eye contact. A thought came into his brain and before he knew it, he blurted it out.

“What do we do if we meet y/n’s parents for the ‘first time’?”

Hoseok just grinned.

“Do you think she’s going to believe us or her abusive parents?”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

The boys laid with you after your exhausting meeting with your parents, your limbs intertwining with each other in the bed. Namjoon laid directly behind you as Yoongi laid in front of you with Hoseok hugging him from behind. Your breaths were even with the boys as you all experienced a tranquil bliss. It overcame all of your bodies, your stress slowly fading away for the time being.

You couldn’t imagine being somewhere without them. They were your life, precious little angels that would always support you. You dedicated yourself to them and soon or later you would have the courage to tell them for once.

It’s a shame they didn’t know of your decision yet. They already planned another visit. Very soon.

-nomnomsik

#yandere bts #yandere rapline #yandere hoseok #yandere yoongi #yandere namjoon #yandere jhope #yandere suga #yandere rm #bts x reader #rapline x reader #hoseok x reader #suga x reader #yoongi x reader #namjoon x reader #rm x reader

1K notes · View notes

throwing-summers-at-the-walls · 4 years

Note

Hello half valid anon here (i like my nickname 😂). I got through all your fics and they were all great. Right now im just reading a lot of poi fanfics and watch fanvids cause i can't accept that the series is over 😂 --- i know what you mean about fics affecting you negatively. I had this with 13rw (the Show and some fics) everything was so dark and hopeless that i had to stop watching it. I also love to seek out fics where someone is hurt so i can feel my pain through the characters (1)

But i try to read only fics with lots of comfort so it kinda feels like i get comforted as well (dont know if that makes sense). If it makes you uncomfortable or if its unhealthy for you to write about this i completely understand and i dont mean to come of as pushing you to write. I just hope whatever you do will be the right decision for you! As for you feeling suicidal im sorry to hear that. Let me know if there is ever anything i can do to help! I wish i could say sth more comforting but Im not super good with words :( i just hope you have people in your life that support you! 💛

maybe root will grow on you too? Or maybe you can skip her scenes and enjoy John, Harold and most importanly Bear! 😂 Yeah Shaw definately looks really good. She is a bit like Reese minus the caring. At first it seems she doesnt care about anything at all but thats not exactly the Case. There was an episode with Shaw and a little girl (3x5) and i really loved it (have you seen that one?).

I really think Shaw would grow on you (especially since in the beginning she does a lot with John) but then again a lot of her later scenes include Root so im not sure. Yes i love that there were never any romantic undertones with her and John!!

yeah the core four were great. I was so sad when Carter died! :(

i guess everyone sees chemistry different, i think Shoot and Rinch post have great chemistry ☺️

as for John being good with people: YES!! he is always so compassionate and such a great listener as well. I especially like him with children. John and the baby were so cute or John with the boy who offered to pay for him. John + Kids was always a great combination and i wished we would have seen it more often. Also regarding children we did we never got to see a John Taylor scene after Carters death? I needed that!

yes John the badass is also amazing! His character has so many different sides and i love him so much!!

i think Grace Harold was really cute but i dont really see a future for them, i mean he lied to her for so long! but then again they really loved each other so idk maybe they work it out. Im also not into John/Harold/Grace but like you said good for the people who like the ship :)

John and Zoe were great! i wish Zoe would have appeared more often!

I have so many things to say about John and the boring therapist but i think i better not say them :D i wish i could just erase their relationship from my mind!

of course he didnt die! i didnt see a dead body so i refuse to believe he is dead! i also just wanted them to be happy. what kind of an ending is it to let the main character die? i refuse to accept this! -- thank you for the rec i will check it out :) while i do like fluff i mostly read h/c (with the focus on the comfort) cause i just want John to get his much needed comfort :D -- i have no idea where season 1 is supposed to be boring. but idc the people can live with their wrong opinions :D

(today: tumblr user nourann3 discovers the option to indent text after almost 5 years on tumblr...)

Hiii !! It is a very valid nickname 😂 That's nice !! Hmu if you want more recs ! Lol same honestly, I can't believe it's been 4 years since the show ended ! I can give you a link to my poi/Rinch fanvids playlist if you're interested 👀

Oh boi 13rw is so cursed, can't believe I watched all of the 1st season 😬 I remember being afraid of the suicide scene making me uncomfortable but it was so cringe, unrealistic and just bad that I wasn't even that uncomfortable, I cringed when she cut her arms but that's it.

Yeah big mood I project a lot on comfort fics as well. For suicide fics, I think it also depends on how the fics adress the subject. It's something that is complicated to write. If I read a suicide fic with no recovery I'm gonna project but feel like shit. But with recovery, I can project into the recovery as well so it's better ! I read a really good ace attorney fic showing Miles recovering after a suicide attempt, it was thoughtful and didn't fall into the pitfalls of magical super fast recovery/love heals everything, and some lines stuck with me, it was really good and comforting. But yeah if it's just a suicide/suicide attempt then I don't think it's good for me (but sometimes I still read it bc I'm a Dumb Bitch).

Dw you didn't come off as pushing 💜 I'll see how I feel about continuing it or not. I have to figure out if writing about suicide is positive or negative for me 🤔 I mean I'm not portraying John's suicidal crisis as a positive thing, and he reaches out to Harold, and considers he might get better so I don't think it's bad for me ? Another problem is that I have a tendency to drop my wips to write a new shiny idea I get, and then I never finish anything gkgkffjfjf I dropped the suicide fic for the body horror fic which I dropped for the time loop fic, and there's also the hanahaki fic I started last year but I haven't touched in months, plus a bunch of random shit floating around OneDrive lmao someone stop me

What helps the most is venting, just getting that shit out is helping y'know. I appreciate your support ♥️ at least it's not as bad as it used to be

I doubt Root will grow on me, catch me watching her scenes at 1.5 speed lmao, also yes you bet I'll enjoy watching them !!

Yes I remember that ep ! Iirc the little girl tells Shaw she has feelings but the volume is lower than in other people or smth along those lines ?

I hope she'll grow on me bc she seems cool. I remember I was a bit afraid of her just becoming a sort of hollow copy of John, like "look we added another badass to the show". Seems to be more than that though ! Also I'm curious about their mayhem twins dynamic. But yeah if she has a lot of scenes with Root idk how much it'll annoy me

I feel like I wouldn't be able to get the Shoot chemistry bc I'm too biased against Root lol

Ikr the crossing hurt me so much. But thinking about it takes me back to my careese days and my first fics lol. I feel like the death of one of the core four + the abandonment of the library really alienated me from the show (did I already say that before ?). And here I'm gonna shamelessly derail from Carter to the library bc boiii do I have a lot of feelings about the library !! And you're here, talking about poi, so you're the perfect subject to throw these feelings at. This post really says what I feel about it (I'll put the link at the end as well if you wanna read it after you're done with this l o n g reply). It was in a way its own character and its forced abandonment/destruction really hit me (fucked me up when they broke that glass board). It says something that it's one of the few things I remember from S3 along with Carter's death and 4C. I loved it a lot, it was a cornerstone of the show. It was a safe place, a home for Harold and John (and Bear !). I love when they're together in there, I love this cracked glass board, this yellow stained glass in the windows !!! (at least I assume it's stained glass ?), these lights, Bear's cushion, the whole cozy/safe/isolated feelings, just absolutely everything. And yeah later they have the subway, idk when it's introduced I don't remember if it's early enough for me to have watched it. And maybe it's nice, I can't judge rn. But it's like trying to give me a new MC after a MCD, make him as nice as you want I'll be clutching the previous MC until I die. Gkfkfkff I went overboard and off topic but I just love the library ok

Ikr I love how he's badass but also gentle and understanding and nice to people ! I love him !!! Yeah wolf and cub is really good, also I love when John smiles to Darren at the end !! I use this moment as my pfp bc I love it so much. He's just so cute ! I wish he smiled more (did we ever hear him laugh in the entirety of the show ?). Baby blue is so great, Harold and him are such a married couple in this ep ! Yeah same more content with John and children would have been nice.

I never thought about how much we needed a John Taylor scene but yes !! We were robbed :((((

Speaking of John being a cool badass. Here's a badass John vid rec it's super good

youtube

Yeah they were cute in the past. I think it's good he went back to her bc it gives closure to both of them. But I don't see their relationship working again. She grieved, probably started to move on after all these years and knowing he lied all this time probably won't make her want to go back with him. I've never been in love so what do I know lol, but were I her I probably wouldn't want to go back with him and I'd just be happy knowing he's alive after all.

Same I need more Zoe (also she's hot)

Lmao let's just forget about that weird relationship shall we

Aren't we all the same, firmly believing he's alive and happy out there ! It was foreshadowed since the first ep and it made sense but do I care ? No, fuck that shit John is very much alive

You're welcome ! John needs all the comfort and the love !!! I think I have a preference for fluff bc he gets hurt enough in the show lol

Indeed they can, veryyy far away from us

Sry if this is shit I have like half a functioning braincell today

The post abt home bases I mentioned

#half valid anon #look you have your own tag #person of interest #tw suicide #i thought I was done but then i got feelings abt the library

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