#Someone find me a non-homophobic translator lol

[h0bg0blin-meat]

I'm gonna translate my KSA book to Assamese (my mother tongue) so that the elderly, the Boomers and the Gen Xers I know can read that shit and blow their heads off when they find out it's a romantic journey of two boys HAHA.

They better buckle the fuck up.

[woogurl]

(hi, it’s me again pretending as if i didn’t go on an unannounced hiatus).

yes, i’m back...for now. i’m not sure for how long. as i’m too busy these days, but i wanted to specifically make this post because it’s been bothering me for a while now. someone mentioned this in the woosan tag as well, but it’s...

non-atiny’s(and some anti-shipping atiny) who constantly feel the need to expose woosan as some cleverly put together ship that was carefully manufactured by the company. i’ve seen so many titles on youtube and posts on twitter saying how:

“woosan is obvious fanservice” and “woosan; a prime example of queerbating in kpop” 

i’ve never seen a ship be so criticized for being ‘out there’ and ‘in your face’. i’ve made a post on fanservice before but this post will mainly be focused on why i think it’s completely unfair, dishonest, homophobic, and antagonistic to view their relationship as manufactured and fake. and before you go, ‘i’m sure they’re good friends but all that other stuff is clearly done by the company.’ and don’t get me wrong, bc kq is very much aware of the ships and do try to profit off of fanservice...like every other company. but the clearest indicator of this not being MOSTLY all fanservice is something i’ve mentioned many times before.

1. the rest of the ships in ateez not being anywhere near the intimacy and skinship as woosan.

2. body language. 

3. the members THEMSELVES explaining their dynamics.

4. kq not FORCING ships.

ever since predebut and debut there’s ALWAYS been three main ships in ateez. seongjoong, yungi, and ofc woosan. 

as you could see, woosan was definitely thee most popular ship. however, i do believe their popularity grew over time because during the early era i’m sure seongjoong dominated, even on fanfic sites they dominate the amount of fanfics written about them. however, woosan’s clear comfort and intimacy with each other made them more popular among atiny’s and even non atiny’s they even had some taekookers saying their ship was realer and that’s saying something xD. 

something people really, no i mean REALLY need to understand is...doing fanservice does not invalidate an entire relationship. 

there are plenty of celeb couples who enjoy publicly dating and showing affection. 

then comes the argument of well, “if they were real they wouldn’t be so obvious about it.”

this statement bothers me because, people who believe that showing too much skinship is fanservice but then they’ll turn around and say at the same time it’s just culture???

it’s fair to see them doing their fake love dance routine and going THAT’S FANSERVICE. but looking at those moments and going ‘nah, their entire friendship gotta be fanservice.’ is delusional to me, as u like to call us shippers. 

even if you do not ship them romantically, it’s odd to me that people see two same-sex idols expressing comfortability, intimacy and skinship together and feel like if they’re too open about it or if it looks too gay then it’s....fake? even tho fans love to say it’s just apart of their culture. but if it gets too gay, then it’s fanservice. 

i can’t. xD

just because they’re completely comfortable with being intimate doesn’t mean they’re being forced to act that way...it literally just means they ARE that way. 

i constantly put emphasis on being comfortable with skinship and intimacy bc, to me that’s just not something the company can force. body language is a reaction from your true emotions and your inner most thoughts. IT IS THE FOUNDATION TO FIGURING OUT WHAT A PERSON TRULY FEELS INSIDE AS THEIR EMOTIONS WILL ALWAYS TRANSLATE THROUGH THEIR BODY. if u are uncomfortable it will be revealed through body language. and i know a ton of seongjoong shippers are gonna hate me for this, but they are a prime example of this. trust me i’m not here to start a ship war, i am purely just using them as an example of discomfort in body language. 

body language is something a company cannot control.

seongjoong show definite signs of being uncomfortable with intimacy, heck shippers use that one moment seonghwa expressed sadness bc hj hugged the other members and not him as a shipping moment lol. but even when they do hug it looks uncomfortable. my guess is bc hj is not good at expressing his feelings and isn’t a touchy person. and even tho seonghwa is comfortable with skinship, it’s understandable that it can become uncomfortable for him bc of the things i mentioned before as well as the power dynamics and age difference between them.

and here i am going to be stoned bc, i have more to say about seongjoong(don’t kill me). 

bc something the company also can’t control is what OR who the members hang out with OUTSIDE of group activities. so that’s why i’m also mentioning that i also don’t think seongjoong is as close as shippers think they are as...seonghwa mostly hangs out with woosan. and it is almost always mentioned how often woosan hang out together off camera. even early on. woosan hung out so much that it literally came to a point where yeosang felt like his bestfriend was taken from him. 

can we mention again how happy that makes san? and let’s not forget the moment woo said seonghwa was into him, but san was like. ‘you’re into me tho’ and they BOTH tried to gloss over that.

wooyoung: wHaT dO u mEaN? 

lol. people love to say how much san’s whipped for woo, but woo’s probably even more whipped. 

here’s more evidence of woosan enjoying each others company off camera. https://woogurl.tumblr.com/post/614348590729625600/nobody-wooyoung-san-and-i-bass-boosted#notes. 

we can even talk about a more recent moment. the ateez debate about mint chocolate. dunno what’s with these kpop idols debating about mint choco ‘cause bts did it too. lol. anyway, they ended up talking about the group dynamics. and how woosan again are always together. 

i-i’m sorry, but does moment remind y’all of a past moment? LMFAO. seonghwa’s feeling yeosang’s pain. 

seonghwa’s just like woosan says they’re tired of each other but can’t detach themselves. and here’s more evidence that the company isn’t forcing them. for those who thinks kq has some masterplan when it comes to promoting ships.

when they talk about their dynamics, jongho says he feels left out but hj exposes him and says, ‘we’ve tried to pair him with someone but he(jongho) just doesn’t do it’

so this just solidifies my statement from earlier, if the members don’t wanna promote a ship. they ain’t gonna do it. we got one or two vlives from twoho and das it. lmfao. don’t get me wrong. i’m sure jongho get along well with yunho as well as the other members, but promoting any of the other ships in ateez like woosan isn’t gonna work well. ‘cause the rest of the members don’t have the same dynamics. woosan are comfortable with skinship and being intimate with each other and the other members just are not.

another piece of evidence is the members tired reaction whenever woosan is mentioned. lmfao. 

this was so dramatic omg. but the members reactions are very telling of woosan’s relationship off screen. if woosan was just fanservice i do not believe the members would react the way they do, maybe share some knowing glances at each other like. ‘pfft, they think woosan’s real’ but their reactions are always big or very indicative of something bigger happening behind the scenes. lol. 

i’m not gonna go into too much details, bc the members reactions to woosan are an entirely different post(i got so many posts to make. xD).

Lastly Wooyoung’s Tatto. I know right? He’s very committed to fanservice guys. 

Amicus ad Aras is something that woosan made to signify their friendship, and the fact woo got a tattoo on his body of it means a lot. not to mention woo himself taking initiative to find something that represented their relationship. 

i feel like i need to reiterate that the meaning of this tattoo was to define his relationship to san specifically so it applies to san specifically. woo has many MANY friends AS WELL as bestfriends yet he got a tattoo that can only be truly applied to san and no one else. 

u can continue saying theyy’re just good friends doing fanservice, but it’s obv that woo has many good friends. so the next question u gotta answer is what separates san from the others.

[gringolet]

INTRO TO ARTHURIANA MASTERPOST

under the cut for absurd length

HOW TO GET STARTED WITH ARTHURIANA

The Arthuriana fandom is very broad and there's no one piece of media, which can be confusing for people just getting into it! There’s no right way to engage with arthuriana, and no minimum level of knowledge or reading you need to attain to qualify. 

The basis of the Arthurian Legend is a body of hundreds of texts written across the medieval and early Renaissance period in dozens of languages and cultural traditions. Which can seem pretty overwhelming, but there are a lot of modern vernacular translations-- you absolutely don’t have to learn old French or anything. I’ll go more in depth on where to get started with texts further down.

You also don’t have to read texts at all. As I said, there is no minimum basis-- if you prefer to engage with modern adaptations, or want to engage with medieval arthuriana outside of reading texts, that's also cool! 

In terms of modern adaptations there is a wealth of choices, which I am very much not an expert in lol, so I’m afraid I can’t give much in the way of reccs. Books I have heard good things about are, Exiled from Camelot, Idylls of the Queen, The Buried Giant, the Squire's Tale series, and Gawain by Gwen Rowley (warning that this one is apparently erotica? Good for him). I trust @princesslibs  for modern book reccomendations. and if you speak French Kaamelott is purportedly a very good tv show. Frankly no modern adaptation will ever be better than Spamalot to me, but that's just my personal take. 

If you are curious about engaging with texts but (understandably) don’t want to read a ton of dense medieval literature, one really cool resource is Norris J Lacy's New Arthurian Encyclopedia, which you can pick up at most used bookstores for under ten bucks. It’s a very thorough easy to look through reference of characters stories and texts. I know a lot of people like the Nightbringer wiki, though I personally am wary of it because it basically never cites sources. It’s a good quick reference though and a lot of people like it, I’d just take it with a grain of salt. Sparknotes also has a lot of summaries of the major texts like Le Morte D’Arthur and the romances of Chrétien De Troyes. You are not a fake fan for doing this I promise. And of course you’re always welcome to send me an ask <3 

Finally, getting started with texts. Quick glossary of terms:

--Verse Romance

    A verse (poem) story which can vary a great deal in length. These deal with the adventures of individual knights, usually Gawain, and tend to have a great deal of magical elements and the stereotypical monster slaying, questing, damosel rescuing knight adventures.

--Prose Novel or Romance

    A non poetic narrative, more like a modern novel, more likely to deal with the fall of Arthur, sword in the stone, Mordred, fall of Camelot sort of affair. They are usually quite long. Most famous of these are Le Morte D’Arthur and the French Vulgate, but there are a slew of late medieval Prose novels floating around. Eluding Rey.

--Pseudohistory

    I’m gonna b real these are boring I think. These are, as the name suggests, written as accurate depictions of history.  They very much are not, but they claim to be. Most famous of these is Jeffrey of Monmouth, Mr Jeff Mouth himself, and his History of the Kings of Britain, which I haven’t read because it bores me. You can if you want. It’s in Latin. Whatever. These tend to be some of the earliest texts, and include the “lives of saints” stories. Life of Gildas is the only funny one.

--Ballads

    These are only arguably texts, as most of them were written after the time of the “canon” being composed. But I like them. These are songs telling stories, recorded by people like Francis Child and Thomas Percy. They are very short and fun and include stories like The Boy and the Mantle, Kempion, and King Arthur and the King of Cornwall.

--Lai

    A specific type of French verse poem, usually quite short. The most famous collection of lais are those of Marie le France, including things like Bisclavret and Lanval. 

--Traditions

    Since Arthuriana was written all over, there are different literary traditions across time and space. The French tradition is one of the most famous, including works like the vulgate, Chretien and a lot of verse romances. The English tradition is one of the most influential on modern adaptations, including the Morte D’Arthur and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. There are also Welsh, German, Dutch, Hebrew, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Tagalog, Greek, Belarussian, Scottish, Irish, Breton, and probably even more. There’s a lot. It’s very cool and sexy.

A note that there is also a big tradition of Victorian revival Arthuriana. I wrote a starter guide to that here, it’s all very fun and like, aesthetic. 

Alright, now, which texts do you start with?

If you’re a little intimidated by long texts or medieval lit, starting with short verse romances in modern translation is a great place to start. These include Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, which is very good and gay and well known, Lancelot and the Hart With The White Foot, which is very good and gay and underappreciated, or Lanval, which is homophobic but funny. 

If you want to start with what is considered the oldest King Arthur Story, Culwch and Olwen is short and fun!

If you want to read about the grail quest, you can start where it started with Story of the Grail or Percival, then the four continuations, Essenbachs Parzival, the vulgate version of the Grail quest which you can buy paperback for like 5 bucks (I can also scan my copy for you just shoot me an ask <3)

If you want to read about the fall of camelot, I have the Vulgate death of Arthur section scanned here. There’s also the Alliterative and Stanzaic mortes, which are in middle English. I have scanned Simon Armitage's Alliterative Morte translation here. I’m working on my own translation of the Stanzaic but it’s not done lol. If you want the first third or so DM me lol. King Artus is very short and readable and it’s a Jewish text which is really cool.

If you want to read about Lancelot, Chrétien de Troyes Lancelot is his first text. He also has a whole long vulgate section, the first part is scanned here by val <3, and there's Lanzelet,  Sebile is in it so it’s probably very good. He’s also basically the main character of Le Morte D’Arthur which I might as well talk about here uhm. It’s long and fun in places and boring in others but it does have like the version most modern adaptations take from and tells the whole story of Arthur and Camelot from beginning to end. The Keith Baines version scanned by val is the most readable but it is an abridgement I believe. people who like le morte usually read this version so its probably the best choice lol

If you want to read about Gawain, good news! He’s in basically everything. Even texts that aren’t supposed to be about Gawain are doomed to become The Gawain Show Featuring The Protagonist Of This Text As A Sidekick. Which is so funny of him. The Roman Van Walewein is very funny and long and Gawain™. I also recommend, L’atre Perilous, Diu Krone, Sir Gawain and the Turk, and I could go on but for brevity's sake let's start there. 

If you want to read about Tristan, go shoot an ask to Valentine @lanzelet on tumblr because Tristan scares me. 

Thank you to rey @gawain-in-green for helping me find links and put this together! They are also a super great resource for stuff and very cool and nice <3 They have a tag on their blog for full text resources so deffo look at that if you want more scans and links, and an info tag and tons of cool shit that is way better organized than my blog lol

Okay finishing this off, if you want content warnings for any texts, feel free to shoot an ask! I know medieval lit can be A Lot and there aren’t a lot of good warning systems, so if I’ve read it or know someone who has I can give you warnings if you want to read something but are understandably wary . <3

In terms of tagging, Arthuriana and Arthurian Legend are the main ones on tumblr. Arthurian Mythology is also used but tbh shouldn’t be. On Ao3, we’re trying to get our own Arthurian Literature tag but <3 its a whole thing. Anyway the tag is Arthurian Mythology, but I’ll b real, it’s kind of flooded with stuff that doesn’t really belong there, because even though it’s a fandom tag other people unknowingly tag stuff as Arthurian Mythology when it’s like, a knight au. Which is not their fault bc it’s confusing but, ah, alas. ANyhow, feel free to drop in my inbox anytime with questions, suggestions, reccs, etc!

Okay godspeed!! Have fun reading, watching, browsing, etc! 

[momdomsenpai]

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐈

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 (sfw)

⊹ I am a talk, talk, talker, and I shitpost frequently! This blog is for me to write and post whatever I want. You can block some of my shitpost tags, but I would just unfollow if you don’t like bloggers who, well, blog.

⊹ I may change the theme every two seconds! That’s just how it goes, lol. My apologies, but I get bored of things easily, and I get tired of looking at the same thing over and over again.

⊹ I like to reblog art and things I find funny. These are all tagged, but I enjoy sharing my interests and likes; including music and misc things that having nothing to do with anime, mayhaps. I get humored by things easily…so…yeah.

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 (nsfw)

⊹ I am a very dom leaning switch, I usually write dom reader content, but sometimes…I get creative. And a little too horny.

⊹ There will be a good amount of dark content on here. These dark themes may include incest/stepcest, non-con/dubcon, yandere, etc. Yes I tag all of these thoroughly and correctly, but if you do not particularly enjoy these topics, and need to block for your own safety — or peace of mind? — you are more than welcome to block me. No offense taken! I used to be heavily triggered by these topics in the past due to personal experience, so do what you must.

⊹ I am gender-non confirming, however my reader will always either a.) have a vagina, or b.) be a hermaphrodite (someone with both a dick and vagina). I don’t write solely male reader (reader with only a dick), because I do not see myself this way.

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

You must be at least 18 years of age to follow or interact with this blog.

Do not mention my blogs/works on any other social platform. Even my sfw fictitious works.

Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked, please respect my boundaries and do not interact if you fit this criteria.

Do not interact if you are racist, homophobic, xenophobic, transphobic, or fit any of the categories under these umbrella terms. Not only will you not like it here, but nobody wants you here, either.

Please do not ask me to follow you…it is very awkward…

If you have been blocked/soft blocked, you are either a minor, ageless blog, or I do not want you in my space. I am entitled to surround myself with the people and energy I prefer, if you do not fit into that, I apologize, but this blog is mine — plainly.

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

I don’t take requests. I take thirsts, and if I feel so obliged, I will expand upon them. Requests are hard for me, and sometimes even stunt my creative growth in the long run. I would prefer not to feel like a failure every time I cannot come up with a good plot for a request. Too much pressure…*shivers*

Do not plagiarize, repost, or translate any of my works, please. This is my only account, unless announced otherwise in the further future.

All of my characters are aged up, if you have an issue with that, kindly remove yourself from the premises. Do not leave an ask, because I honestly, and sincerely do not care <3

[annetteblog]

Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?  

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone. 

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??” 

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance. 

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly. 

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

                                       /as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet. 

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed. 

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.   

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

                                                    Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience. 

P.S.  And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian.  i like it better and what will u do haha

[kailedger]

for all the YOI fanfic author, p.2

Oh wow, let me tell you, I really didn't expect the previous post on Russian culture to blow up ahaha (Here’s the link to it, in case you’re wondering: https://kailedger.tumblr.com/post/621351027189350400/for-all-the-yoi-fanfic-authors) But since it did, I decided to make a part two, sort of? It's not gonna be about mistakes in fanfiction, but more about things English-speaking authors don't mention simply because they don't know they exist.

I’ll give you the general info and then maybe throw some thoughts about how specific YOI characters would relate to that info in my personal opinion.

HOLIDAYS. We have a lot of those TBH, but I'll mention the most important ones - the ones for which we have official days off. I mean, yeah, you can find a list of those in Wikipedia, if you want, but it doesn't actually tell you the reality of things. I've already mentioned the New Year in the previous post, so let’s skip it.

23rd of February is the Defender of the Fatherland Day. It's actually for those who served in the army, but the tradition is to congratulate everyone who's male. Must have something to do with the fact that on 8th of March we have an International Women's Day, when we congratulate everyone who's female. Doesn't really make sense to me, since, you know, there are women in the army too. And a lot of men haven't served a day in their life, what the hell do I have to thank them for? (Here's an example: my dad used to be in the navy, submarine's captain actually, and every year when I congratulate him, he says something along the lines of "Why? There was no war conflict when I served". That's him being humble, but still, the point is there).

ANYWAY! We're not very big on celebrations of these two holidays, most of the time you just give a call to your respective male/female friends and relatives, give flowers to the ladies and just... enjoy your day off?

 Next one is the May holidays. Those are usually on the 1-3 of May, the official name (as Wiki states) is "The Day of Spring and Labour". Honestly, no one uses it lol We just say "the first May holidays" (since we also have the second, that's how much we don't wanna work in May; kinda ironic the holiday is called "the day of labour").

You don't congratulate anyone on this day, usually you just have a couple of days off. If we're lucky, the weather would be nice and then people go to the countryside to have a (oh my god, this is gonna be a mouthful) SHASHLYKI. We'll get back to this thing, and you know why? Since if you want someone to embrace the real Russian culture, you would make them go to shashlyki, trust me.

 The second May holiday is the Victory Day, and it's kinda... controversial in a way. It is a big celebration for the victory in World War II. Soviet Union suffered a lot during the war with the Nazi Germany, St. Petersburg was under the siege for more than TWO YEARS. And this holiday is both somber and happy since thanks to our ancestors we survived this hell and are now able to live in peace. The celebration is pretty big on official levels - there are military parades everywhere, concerts, people thank the war veterans (there are precious few of them left by now). When I was still in school, they made us visit those parades every year. Guess what? I've never been to a single parade since I graduated. It's not that I don't value the heroism of people who fought in WWII, it's that I think our government uses this holiday to brag how great we are (or, rather, THEY are), 'cause they haven't done anything worth of praise since 1945, which is... depressing, when you think of it. The ridiculous thing is the parade was canceled this year due to coronavirus, but GUESS WHAT? They've used BILLIONS OF DOLLARS to still have it on 24th of June. While the rate of people getting sick is still abnormally high. All because on the 1st of July we're having a vote on the constitution amendments and our government needs an extra boost in patriotism from our people (should I mention some of the amendments are homophobic? Yeah, it sucks).

Well... that was a rant completely offtopic lol. But, you know, this is the opinion of the most people below the age of 35. Also a huge problem here in Russia. Anyway, as I was saying. Used to be a really great holiday where we thanked the veterans and were reminded of the price they paid. Now it's just a sad excuse for the government to waste money sigh

So, a day off. Some fireworks, a hell lot of traffic problems due to parades. Not much else, if you're from the younger generation.

 Same thing goes to the 12th of June. Officially a "Russia Day", but since up until the point I graduated from the uni I had summer holidays, I barely even acknowledged the holiday, cause I didn't have to study/work anyway. So like... I lived my whole life here in Russia, and I have no idea why we celebrate this holiday on the 12th of June. I can google it right now, but that kind of would contradict my point here lol.

The last one is on the 3-4 of November. I think it's called something like "Unity Day", but, again, no idea why. Most of the time we just call it "the November holidays" or even "fall holidays". Honestly, most of the time we just care about the days off, especially if the holiday is supposed to be "patriotic". (When I put it like this, we kinda sound like assholes. Probably cause we are lol).

Birthdays mainly depend on the specific person. I used to love my birthdays and it was a big holiday for me when I was a kid, but then I turned 18 and it kinda lost its charm. You still celebrate it, especially if the date is something like 30, 35, 40, 45 and so on. But it gets less and less exciting over the years. I gather my friends at home and just have drinks, my fiance goes to a bar on his birthday. Not very... celebratory, ya know?

So. YOI characters. ALL OF THEM would definitely celebrate New Year. They would probably send some congratulations on 23rd of February and 8th of March. It you think of the Russian rinkmates as friends, they can go the countryside together on the first May holidays, but not actually do anything on the Victory Day (Yakov may attend the parade since he’s from the older generation). Nothing specific to do on 12th of June or November holidays, most likely the rink would be closed, so, like, just a day off.

  And now to the important stuff. SHASHLYKI. Oh my god guys, I’m so excited, cause this is one of those things that is AWESOME in Russian culture. And also makes most of the foreigners really confused. But it has some similarities with the American barbeque gatherings, I think.

First of all, many of us live in big cities (like I live in St. Petersburg for example), but we still have countryside houses. Sometimes it’s where our grandparents live, sometimes we buy it specifically. The thing is – we usually go to these places we call “dacha” to have some rest from the noise of the big city and enjoy the fresh air. Usually dachas have gardens, my mom is crazy about all this greenery stuff (I personally don’t see what’s the big deal with taking care of the plants, but I was told it comes with age ;D).

And to enjoy the experience even more we have shashlyki. It’s usually grilled meat (chicken, pork, whichever you prefer) and vegetables, but the process is what makes it really fun. Most families have their own recipes for marinated meat, you prepare it beforehand. Then, on the day, you make some snacks (salted pickles and fresh vegetables come to my mind immediately; pickles are like a must-have, it’s almost an obligatory food since it goes really well with vodka lol). While some of the people sit around the table, have drinks and catch up, there’s usually one person responsible for grilling meat. And this process is very important – it’s gotta be cooked on the brazier with actual flame (or, more like, coals). You put pieces of meat on a metallic skewer and then grill it (I think there’s the word “kebab”, but we usually use it to describe an entirely different meal, so, shashlyk it is). And let me tell you – having a freshly grilled shashlyk with some vegetables and a drink like wine (or vodka if you’re into it) is the best feeling in the world.

So you’re enjoying the fresh air, really tasty meal, have some drinks with family or/and friends. A pretty common thing (not for everyone, but I personally love it) is having someone play the guitar and sing songs around the campfire. The songs we sing are usually either stupid or old, and you would never just casually listen to those on your own, but when the time comes and you sit with the guitar, somehow EVERYONE knows the lyrics. The point is to have fun, not make a concert out of it :)

I actually think that Victor and the rest of the gang would at least try to give Yuuri (and other non-Russians, who knows) this kind of experience. I also headcanon someone (Otabek or maybe Victor himself) knowing how to play the guitar. But I wouldn’t trust Victor with the grilling, honestly, it requires a lot of attention, and… well… you all know what Victor is like ;D

  And since we’re on the topic of music, let’s discuss it. Me and a dear friend of mine @clarie-foster, who also happens to be both Russian and a YOI fan, had a lot of headcanons on this.

What you need to know, is when it comes to music, here in Russia we’re pretty flexible. The popular music is the one you can here everywhere, it’s on European and American charts, like, I dunno, Beyonce, Ed Sheeran, Gaga etc. There’s Russian pop-music and, honestly, it sucks lol. Most of the time I listen to it cause it’s dumb and catchy. There are some good artists, of course, I can throw you a couple of name bands like “Ночные Снайперы”, “Сплин”, “Би-2”, but the songs are in Russian, and although the lyrics are pretty damn good, they’re kinda hard to understand if you don’t know the language (I mean, just reading the translation won’t give you the whole experience). And those bands are… depressing? In a way? Not that the songs are extremely dark or something, but you kind of listen to those in a melancholic mood. Me and one of my best friends used to go out on the balcony in summer, sit wrapped in a blanket and listen to those songs. Great experience, if a little sad.

BUT. There’s the old pop-music. We have some of those artists, who were really popular when my parents were young and somehow still popular these days. Their music is honestly average – the tunes might be catchy, the lyrics are mediocre at best, but… when you have a little bit to drink, you get in that mood, where you start singing those old pop-songs. And it’s not like listening to ABBA or, I don’t know, A-ha, since those are classic and still good these days. Russian pop-songs SUCK, they’re horrible, but somehow that is the best kind of music when you’re drunk.

I personally think Victor is one of those people who would totally jam to the old Russian pop. It’s funny, since most of it is from female singers (There’s literally a song from a Russian singer Irina Allegrova called “Go crazy, wild empress”, no kidding). I just can picture him so clearly being drunk and singing those old songs with abandon lol.

Mila would probably join him while laughing hysterically. Georgi too, since he’s a drama queen. And Yuri would make all kinds of disgusted faces.

 Two facts which I have never seen being mentioned in fanfiction, which is really weird. So Victor lives in St. Petersburg, as we all saw from those last scenes in the anime (in the background you can see actual places from St. P like our sports stadium). And St. Petersburg is mostly known for two things: bridges and white nights.

WHITE NIGHTS OH MY GOD. I don’t want to go to deep into the details since I don’t really understand the nature of this thing (something to do with sun not really going down? I dunno), but in summer, especially in June and July it basically doesn’t get dark in St. Petersburg. I mean, the sun does go down, you can see the sunset and everything, but the sky stays like… white-grey, almost as though it’s midday, just cloudy. Like we’re in the middle of white nights right now, and the darkest hour is around 1 am, but even then it doesn’t really get dark at all. A lot of people from other cities and countries get confused by it, like, there was this time when Stephen Colbert was a guest on a Russian talk-show and he had a hilarious convo with the host. It was something like this: “So I’ve been in St. Petersburg for one day. It has lasted for 46 hours. Please tell me if the sun will ever go down, ‘cause I’m going crazy”.

For us common people white nights can get really annoying, if your curtains are not black-out, you can have a hard time falling asleep (since, you know, it’s too freaking bright outside). But it’s actually really great for late-night walks and is considered really romantic.

And, speaking of romantic, the bridges! What’s so special about those, you’d think. So St. Petersburg is built on the river Neva – it’s like really big, has a lot of tributaries and distributaries and flows through the whole city. Hence why we have tons of bridges.

And those bridges are drawing bridges, meaning they are separated in the middle by a special mechanism and are being lifted in the air so that the trade ships can pass underneath them. The most impressive one is the Palace Bridge – it’s one of the main sightseeing spots in the city. For most tourists it’s obligatory to visit St. Petersburg and see the drawing of the Palace Bridge. It happens at night, around the time of 1 am or 2 am. It’s really pretty, cause there are lights everywhere, you can see the ships passing by and the view of this huge structure being lifted in the air is really magnificent. Combine it with the white nights and you’ll have one of the most romantic dates you can have here in Russia.

(On the more realistic and depressing note: despite the drawing of the bridges being really beautiful, it’s SUCH a pain in the ass for the regular people. Like, because of the drawing you can’t really get from one side of the city to another. For example, I live in the northern part and if for some reason I couldn’t get to it from the center of the city before the drawing of the bridges, I’m stuck till like 4 or 5 am. Subway only opens at 6 am, and although we have a couple of bridges which never draw, those are on the outskirts of the city, so taking an uber and driving there would cost you a lot of money and also would take like and extra hour or so. Thankfully, the drawing of the bridges lasts only from April to October-November, while the ship navigation on the Neva river is possible).

Last, but not least, SOCIAL MEDIA.

So, like, Instagram is pretty popular in Russia and so is Twitter. But what people rarely mention is our own social media site – Vkontakte (www.vk.com, if you’re interested). It started to become popular in like… 2008, I think? Basically it used to be and knock-off from Facebook, even the color scheme is the same. It became more and more popular over the years, since Facebook was never really a thing in Russia (like, I had a profile there, but I’ve never used it). Now it’s like… if you don’t have a VK profile, it’s super weird lol. I communicate with most of my friends through it, since it has a lot of really cool features: chats, group chats, communities, music, videos and photos. It’s gotten so big that VK even hosts its own music festival each year with a lot of popular Russian artists.

Victor is a social butterfly, so he would definitely have a VK profile. So would Mila, Yuri and Georgi, I personally think most of their communication would be through it. Maybe they would even force Yuuri to create a profile, but he’s not really into social media much, so he wouldn’t really use it.

 I think that’s it for now. Like I said, if you have any questions, feel free to ask, I would be happy to answer! ;)

[diminuel]

Reading List: April

I missed archiving fics I read in March, but I’m back for April. Some of the fics I might have read in March. I’m still not very good at keeping track of what I read when! But the important part is that you get some fics to read! ;D

I’ve added the archive warnings in the brackets in case there were any, but didn’t include the tags. So make sure to read them.

Enjoy! ♥

bring it on home by xylodemon (2.4k)

"She ─" Sam grimaces again. "She likes tea, right?"

Dean hesitates. He pictures their old kitchen in Lawrence ─ the floral wallpaper, the walnut cabinets, the pots and pans hanging on hooks. Sheer, white curtains had hung in the windows, and Mary had left them open because she'd liked plenty of sunlight. It had smelled like coffee in the mornings. Dean had always lined his army men up on the table before eating his Cheerios.

"I don't know," he admits. "She ─ maybe."

Soft and gentle, but also slightly melancholy coda fic for 12x02

The One: Supernatural Edition by motorbike_on_the_avenue (73k)

The One is America's #1 dating show!

Twenty contestants will spend six weeks competing in tasks, to show the American public they should be picked to marry the suitor. Over the six weeks, they'll be voted down till just The One remains...

Dean Winchester is this year's suitor. A 34 year old firefighter from Kansas he isn't entirely sure why he applied to a dating show where he has to get married at the end.

Especially since he'll never have met (or seen) anything about his future lawfully wedded whatever.

But just who will be voted The One?

This is such an enjoyable fic! Dean and Cas don’t even meet each other until the very end, but the premise is so captivating and I constantly was nervous and rooting for my faves *lol*

Kitchen Overhaul by Powerfulweak (Explicit, 20k)

For Dean Winchester, his family’s bakery is his life, even if business is tanking. When his brother volunteers them for the reality show “Kitchen Overhaul”, Dean is less than enthusiastic with changing anything about his beloved bakery. He is even less enthusiastic to deal with the infamously icy host, Chef Castiel Novak.

Just like the previous fic on the list, this fic also has a TV show format as the premise of its story, but it’s more in the background. I loved this a lot! I got frustrated because of Dean, then because of Cas, but it’s all very rewarding!

Peak Homosexual by K_K_TiBal (3.7k)

You know that thing that happens where you hear something really homophobic in public so you gay it up as much as you can? This is that story.

Cute, pretend relationship fic! ♥

Neighborly Behavior by Annie D (scaramouche) (1.8k)

Cas and Dean at a neighborhood potluck, in an AU where they're both kinda assholes.

It’s hilarious and always good for a re-read!

Dean's Table by through_shadows_falling (4.9k)

On Castiel’s first day waiting tables at the Roadhouse Diner, his co-worker tells him to save a spot for Dean, a young veteran with a cane who sits in the same corner booth every day. Dean doesn’t talk, but Castiel’s charm soon works its magic until Dean reveals that he’s there to reconnect with his brother after a painful falling out. Castiel hopes Dean will succeed, even as Castiel's roommate, Sam, visits the diner one morning.

Lovely story about Cas easing Dean out of his lonely shell. And it also includes a happy reunion.

The Glen by Annie D (scaramouche) (3.2k, Explicit)

Dean's run out of excuses to not claim Cas, so he finally does. Better late than never, right?

This is actually set after a previous story, which focuses on Sam and Kevin. It might be slightly confusing without the previous part but I think still an interesting read, especially with the following part!

The Shop on the Corner by CasCase (18.6k, Mature)

Two years ago Castiel left behind his job and his past to fulfill his dream of opening a neighborhood bookshop. Now, his shop is popular and he’s finding himself fitting in with his new community. He’s perfectly happy with his quiet life among the books.

Perhaps the only thing that could make it absolutely perfect would be the attentions of Dean-the-Delivery-Guy. But, of course that means Castiel will have to work beyond his own insecurities to find a way to see the gorgeous man more than once a week.

Maybe he should stick to the books after all.

This was fun and lovely and even though there’s a bit of angst and pining involved, Dean’s gentle patience were lovely!

In Someone Else's Life by blue_morning (4.5k)

Cas never believed in love at first sight, but when he accidentally crashes a wedding trying to keep his brother out of trouble, it happens to him. Happy ending, right? Yeah, except that the man he falls for just happens to be the groom.

Light-hearted misunderstandings (mostly Gabriel’s fault) and an absolutely hilarious ending!

The Return Policy by aileenrose (12.9k, Explicit)

"Most of his visitors are academics. They come from universities all over the nation, sometimes beyond. Others write books. The man in the Reading Room today is neither. He’s a tall, irritated man with a federal badge."

The federal agent's partner is usually the one who does the research. And even though Cas doesn't think this man is a real federal agent, he's happy to help where he can.

A great read, close to canon, with lovely atmosphere!

Do You Need a Stepdad? by supernatural9917 (1.8k)

When Claire Novak tweets a picture of her dad cooking, she didn't expect to go viral, or for everyone to be quite so hot for her dad.

Based on a photo prompt: Teenager Claire posts a snarky tweet about her single dad Cas, and gets this response. She says ‘LOL no he’s gay’ so Dean tweets to ask if she needs a stepdad!

It might be short but it’s incredibly delightful! 

How to Keep Time by aileenrose (6.6k, Mature)

Dean's just beginning to learn that some times are more precious than others.

Very touching fic, featuring homeless Cas making beautiful things and Dean having to (re) learn what’s truly valuable.

The Neighboring Perspective by aileenrose (12.7k, Mature)

Dean's newly single, in a new house, and a brand-new father to boot.

Dean's also got this weird thing where some stranger is leaving baby clothes on his porch at night.

A very lovely fic with Cas breaking my heart with his softness and his sadness...! ;w;

Best You Ever Ate by darkforetold (1.7k, Explicit)

Cas sucks—under a table at Ma's Diner.

A PWP! :D

For Science by shiphitsthefan (6.1k, Explicit)

“Think of it like an experiment," says Dean. "You’re testing a hypothesis as to whether or not a desirable response can be achieved through the stimulation of the anus via the application of a willing volunteer’s muscular hydrostat.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Are you actually trying to use the scientific method to talk me into letting you lick my asshole?”

It might sound like a cracky PWP, but it’s not! It features ace!Cas and Dean figuring out their sexual relationship. It’s sweet and funny~

Remarkable by shiphitsthefan (3.7k)

It’s only Castiel’s first day as a teacher at All City Elementary in Sioux Falls, and he’s already been warned by four teachers, the guidance counselor, the principal, and the librarian to watch out for Ben Braeden’s father. Unluckily for Castiel, Dean turns out to be just as “helpful” as everyone’s said, bringing in stacks of literature and just as many ideas for how Mr. Milton can encourage his students to be more socially conscious. Castiel dismisses him every time with hardly a second thought.

When Ben brings in his Patriot Day essay assignment, Mr. Milton can't help but change his mind.

I love how passionate and insistent Dean is about social issues. And the way the other teachers speak about Dean makes me sad, but at least Cas makes an effort and the whole fic is very sweet and uplifting!

Made Manifest by schmerzerling

Wherein Castiel defied God for Dean before Dean even knew his name.

I was craving trans!Dean fic and this was recommended to me. It’s really good, focusing on Dean up until Cas pulls him out of hell and recongizes Dean for who he is. Dean, not Deanna.

Low Battery Blues by destielonfire (4k)

Wherein a dead phone battery ruins an otherwise perfectly good and well-intended joke and causes Cas to think Dean broke up with him.

Misunderstanding with a happy ending!

Parent's Weekend by Piper_Halliwell1979 (1.7k)

Claire needs a "dad" to come meet one of her professors during Parent's Weekend at college. She can't get hold of Cas so Dean steps up to help her out. Turns out Claire wouldn't mind if she had two dads.

Dean and Cas both pretend to be Claire’s dads!

This Is Gonna Have Consequences, Kid by omgbubblesomg (Explicit, 3.6k)

Modern AU. Dean is looking for someone to spend the night and Cas is working the streets

PWP with sex worker Cas, featuring younger!Cas and older!Dean.

The Ritual by HazelDomain (Explicit, 9.6k // non-con cw)

The Winchesters were used to being outnumbered. They weren’t too worried about taking on humans, numerous though they may be. It was the ritual’s mystery guest that concerned them. 

Their intel wasn’t good. They knew the cultists needed the participation of some incredibly powerful being in order to complete the summoning. “Powerful” and “being” were both very loosely translated, as was “participation.”

I was on a hurt!Cas kick and this story has plenty of it. Cas was abducted by a cult and then found by the Winchesters once it’s been mostly completed. See the archive warnings (graphic violence and rape) and further tags!

Finding Courage by DarkHeartInTheSky (26.3k)

By allowing Lucifer to use him as a vessel, Castiel helped eliminate the Darkness and saved the World. But it may have been at the cost of Sam and Dean's friendship. Deciding he has nothing to live for without that, Castiel plans to end his life on his terms and be at peace---if only a certain ghost of an archangel would leave him alone. Meanwhile, Dean needs to learn to use his words.

A Supernatural "It"s A Wonderful Life" AU

More hurt Cas. Dean reacts very negatively once Cas is free of his possession, sending him away. As a consequence Cas tries to commit suicide and is given the chance to either die or return to life once more. It takes a while to convince him that he hasn’t lost everything. It’s sad but it has a good ending.

Specimen Two Eighty Five by HazelDomain (Explicit, 8k // non-con cw)

Prompt: Cas gets taken prisoner by the MOL or some other people. They lump angels in with all the other supernatural creatures, and believe they’re little better than animals. They keep Cas restrained and burn or tattoo warding on him. They talk about him like he can’t understand them. They strip him, examine him, make him manifest his wings. He can’t escape, and every day brings new mistreatment and misery.

Hurt!Cas and tortured Cas seems to be the theme of my reading at the end of April. What I particularly like about this is the non-linear narration!

Womb Kindred by Annie D (scaramouche) (Explicit, 33k)

It was probably too much to hope for that Castiel's once-betrothed, Dean of Winchester, never found out that they had a child together.

I adore this fic and the last chapter was recently posted. So it’s on my to re-read list! It’s got a very interesting setting and there’s constant tension between all the characters. Cas has been hurt in the past and while he is fierce in guarding Claire, there’s a sad resignation about him. And about Dean as well. They’re pretty much walking on eggshells around each other all the time and then they get flung into troubles which readjusts their relationship. While it has a good ending, it’s clear that it’s not a perfect happy ever after. 

Pining Sickness; Or, Murder With One Stone by athaclena, iraeim (Explicit, 57.8k)

New York, 1895. The rigid customs of the old century are beginning to fall away, allowing access to the professions for more people than just Omega men and Alpha women. Dean Winchester, the city’s first Alpha male Detective, uncovers evidence that a mysterious new illness killing mated couples might have its origins is the criminal rather than the medical.

Castiel Novak is a respectable Omega doctor who has started to see patients dying cruelly of something he cannot cure or even effectively treat. Approached by the Detective to once again give his medical expertise, he is eager to work towards finding a cause and, he hopes, a cure for the unfortunate sufferers. But both men harbour a secret attraction towards the other, and the quest for the truth will stretch their relationship beyond its limits.

A historical murder mystery set against a backdrop of a non-traditional Omegaverse.

I absolutely adored this fic! It’s got a historical setting and a very interesting world building which, as the summary advertises, features a non-traditional distribution of roles, with omega men at the top of society. The case itself is interesting and you just get a massive dose of pining between Dean and Cas, but it’s a quiet, resigned kind of pining, that really pulls at your heart.

Take On Me by Powerfulweak (Explicit, 46.4k)

Alpha Dean Winchester figured the closest he’d get to the apple pie life and fatherhood was a one-shot, “wham-bam-thank-you-mam” trip to a sperm bank. That is, until he comes face-to-face with the omega carrying his pup on a fateful trip to the grocery store. When the the omega runs off without a word, though, Dean learns the situation is far more complicated than he expected. Can an anonymous sperm donation and the favor of a lifetime help two complete strangers find everything their life was missing?

A fic with an unusual premise that just promises a “it’s complicated” kind of situation! There’s plenty of very intriguing angst, but there is a fluffy happy ending!

Marry Him by ProLazy (2.9k)

Jimmy is sick and asks Castiel to do him a favour. This results in Dean mistaking Cas for Jimmy and explaining that he wants to marry Cas.

A cute sort of mistaken identity fic!

Left Behind by Aini_NuFire (6.6k)

Sam and Dean saved Lucifer from Amara. They just assumed that meant they’d saved Cas too…

(Author needs to vent some angst, but there’s still a happy ending)

That last part of the summary pretty much describes this fic. It’s a gen fic, addressing the fact that Cas often gets forgotten or left behind, especially in this whole Lucifer and Chuck fiasco. ;w;

Captured by bobertsmallismydad (6.2k)

On a day when he is taking a break from Heaven Castiel is captured by the order of the Royal Court aka King "Dickbag" John Winchester. He is forced into servitude as a . . . nanny?

This has a very interesting premise! An enslaved angel having to work as a nanny? Great! Castiel is captured by king John (a douchebag) and tasked to watch over Dean, which he does, over the years. Until Dean himself becomes king.

Choice and Precious Vessels by justabrain (11.2k)

In a world where angels wear collars to suppress their powers and are subservient to humans, a young Castiel finds himself serving a family with two young boys, Sam and Dean. He soon befriends the older of the two, yet all good things must come to an end.

Another gen, Cas whump one. It’s a sad story in which angels are slaves and even though Castiel’s situation improved when he is being bought by the Winchester family, Cas still isn’t treated with dignity. And while the story promises a happy ending and it does have a happy ending, my soul wasn’t quite soothed. ;w; All the damage had been done and nobody makes reparations for it. But despite the sadness I do think it’s a great read!

the worst week of dean's life by jhoom (1.7k)

Dean’s son is driving him crazy.

Super cute, poor Dean is so frustrated because he can’t get his son to call him dada.

Moonlit Sky by hollyblue2 (1.1k)

They'd been busy on their actual anniversary, so Dean decides to make it up to Castiel.

A soft and fluffy story, good for the heart!

Dean's Carol by BurningTea (17.9k)

Dean has learned that a hunter can't have close friends or loved ones, not without being ready to lose them, so he decides it's safer for Cas not to be around.

Can the traditional visits from three ghosts change his mind?

Dean has to learn an important lesson! I love how it takes the story of the christmas carol and putting it into a canon compliant universe, where Dean is aware of what’s happening because he knows the story.

[tumblunni]

Aaa im so full of poke hype and lovv! <3

I feel like maybe doodling my kid self, for some reason?? Like embrace the nostalg and also show some love to that awkward lil kid who didnt really know who they were yet. Its interesting how much i've changed over the years!

Hell i might even draw personas of myself dressed as all the protags from all the different generations? But they'd be mostly the same for like the first 20 years, just me getting real tall and fat lol. I had almost floor length hair for SO LONG it felt really freeing to chop it all off and i never went back! I think i kept it cos it was loke.. Camoflage? The only 'girly' thing i had so i could pretend to myself that i was straight and cis. Plus a literal shield cos i could be 90% hair and just one eye poking out XD So yeah it'd be funny looking at me over time, its just this girly-looking kid getting increasingly more macho outfits and increasingly more girly hair and increasingly more socially anxious, until within the space of 18-25 i suddenly have this giant self discovery freedom explosion and change completely! Its funny how if anything i look less masculine now? Like im way more comfortable with the fact that i'm someone in between genders, and its not a binary of having to be something i'm not just to escape some other thing i'm not. Its also kinda funny how these gender roles felt so restrictive when i was crammed into one of them, yet dressing with both at once seems just as freeing as having neither. Tho still no matter how i dress i always get misgendered one way or another since non-binary acceptance is still far from the norm. But still im so much more me than i've ever been before, and its great to look back so i can realize how far i've come!

So lol maybe i'll just draw old kid me playing "her" first pokemon game, and leave out the next decade and a half of the same thing but taller. And i could just draw current me in a few different attempts at a pokemon outfit? Like when i did my sprite edits i just did me in my usual outfit i wear IRL, now im thinking maybe i shoulda designed a wish fullfillment ideal gym leader costume or something? Tho im too lazy to start the sprite edit project all over again with this new design lol. Oh and maybe also draw my pokemon go outfit? I dont wear it all the time but i had a fun lil look i wore the other day that i ended up laughing at cos i accidentalky wore all blue even tho i picked Team Valor! Now i wanna wear it all the time lol. Oo and maybe cosplay as my fave characters? If i cant afford to do it IRL i can at least draw it!

So yeh in summary somehow i feel really confident in my identity today and i wanna draw pics of me. Mild ego time!!! Or rather just wishing i could fly back in time and motivate my kid self by showing them that they woukd actually have the freedom to be themself some day. I dont even really think of it as "I used to be a girl" but just that i was always feeling this way and didnt know the words for it, or that other people felt the same way and it wasnt an 'abomination against god'. And for some reason playing a gane with selectable genders really helped me let out some of my feelings during that confused childhood of absolute repression. "I just pick a random gender each time cos it doesnt really matter right? Doesnt everyone just pick the one with the outfit they'd rather wear?" I absolutely knew that was a lame excuse and none of these other kids actually felt that way, but at least it kept people from suspecting i had queer reasons for my queer actions. In a time where i didnt even know what queer meant except that it was Somehow Bad. Gah, this is why sex education needs to be inclusive! Even when i was old enough to learn about straight sex i apparantly wasnt old enough to learn about gay and trans people! Let alone asexuality lol... Man it was a whole nother mess to be dealing with an anomolous lack of sexual attraction at the same time as i was repressing something everyone told me was 'inherantly too dirty for teenagers to know about'. For so long i was just told that crossdressing was 'a sick fetish men have for wearing women's underwear' not just.. A woman is a woman and is telling you she's a woman and you wont listen to her. And for some reason they always obsessed with MTF trans folk in these sensationalist hate sermons, i guess because 'a man who gets off on dressing like a woman' just sounds like the more disgusting version when youre a sexist homophobic transphobic piece of shit throwing your bigotry at children. And at the same time also aphobic and telling me i need surgery on my genitals if i dont want sex. Mannnn kids those days.. i really hope kids these days have it better! I hope everyone who dealt with that shit managed to find love and support eventually, even if its still a damn crime they had it denied to them during their most important childhood years. The whole concept of 'an innocent carefree childhood' is so unknown to me, its ironic people claim they want to keep "lgbt politics" away from children in order to preserve that innocent childhood...

Aaaaanyway im rambling lol! In summary pokemon was one of my only coping methods during that childhood and the only small way i could pretend someone accepted me. Even if it was just by whispering no when the professor said 'are you a boy or a girl' and being happy at the little genderless mons like magnemite or the legendaries. I dont think i would have ever realized it was actually POSSIBLE and had words for the complex dysphoria i was feeling, if i hadnt played this dumb lil series of games.

Anyway thats probably also why i never had any attatchment to gen 1 despite being born right as the first wave of pokemania was coming out. The memories i have of those times are complex. Im just excited to revisit kanto as a new and happy person and maybe make new memories! I already barely remembered actual Yellow compared to FRLG, it was kind of a trip to play it on virtual console and remember all the tiny bits of sexist writing that games used to have during that era. It was like 'whoa i never noticed this was wrong as a kid, this finally explains why it made me uncomfortable!' Also the gameplay was glitchy and the plot nonexistant and the translation rudimentary and limited. And the mons weren't very good and i prefer pretty much every other generation and especially Garbodor and Vanillite, dammit!

Ok im going offtopic again

So yeah like i said im happy that Let's Go has managed to make me hype even thougj i didnt enjoy kanto the first time around! And its good how much it represents my journey out of that shitty childhood so now i can revisit it and pretend this is my first time and None Of That Happened, Thanks

So anyway bunni draws past self. And gets emotional. And rambles for hours in a dumb post.

Ok bye

[thebachelordiaries]

A Colognoisseur With A Fishy Scent: ‘The Bachelorette’ Ep. 4 Recap

This episode recap is coming at you at the absolute last minute because I have been spending all my free time today listening to Kanye West’s song “All Mine.” As the lyrics go:

Time is extremely valuable. 

And I prefer to waste it.

It truly speaks to me. Also the part about “all that ass hanging out the bottom.” I feel seen. (JK)

Anyway, we started off this episode at an unfinished rose ceremony. Here’s what happened:

David got the biggest pity rose in Bachelorette history. He looked terrible. Someone should have put a bag over his head.

Nick, aka bae, aka the guy cosplaying Draco Malfoy, wore a tracksuit to the rose ceremony. He said this is his way of “putting it out on the line” to show Becca who he really is. If wearing a tracksuit is his way of being emotionally vulnerable, then same. It’s like that gif of spiderman unzipping his suit to only reveal another spiderman suit underneath. Is Nick a scorpio? I must know.

Banjo guy Ryan got sent home. I’m not sure why he was so hyped up on ATFR when he got literally zero camera time. It’s like ABC catfished us. 

Man bun Mike was also sent home. It was only a matter of time, but he tweeted some exceptionally good tea after he was eliminated. It may have been the highlight of my week:

The guys, who have been cooped up in the Bachelor Mansion for the past few weeks, learn they are going to Salt Lake City, Utah, to instead be cooped up in a hotel. Same shit, different view.

1-On-1 With Garret

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: repeating movie quotes is not a personality trait.

When you look past Garret’s Chris Farley impression, there’s not much to him. He talks like a 15-year-old and has no inflection in his voice. Where is the substance?

Garret and Becca go bobsledding with two Olympians. I tried my best to capture Garret’s reaction to learning he was going bobsledding with a lesbian couple, especially after his Instagram scandal. He had a pretty normal reaction...for a closeted homophobic person.

We found out on this date that Garret was married for two months before he got a divorce. The way (re: lack of emotion) he described his divorce makes it hard for me to believe he was “verbally and emotionally” abused. I would love to know the other side of the story and then form my own truth.

I think once Becca gets past the fact that Garret is similar to her dad because “they both like the outdoors,” she will realize there’s not much going up there. Hopefully that happens sooner rather than later.

Becca loves sitting like this.

One time I briefly “talked to” a guy who I think liked me more than he should because qualities about me reminded him of his deceased father. It was flattering, but I knew most of his infatuation was “in his head.” Plus, he was a really nice guy and I was too busy being obsessed with an asshole who didn’t care about me. LOL. Oh, to be 22 again....

What I’m trying to say here is, Becca doesn’t like Garret. She likes the idea of him.

Lumberjack Group Date

Ah, there’s nothing I hate more than hyper-masculine activities. 

The guys threw around logs and chopped wood to prove to Becca who has the biggest package. So who won the pissing contest? Apparently John, the app developer guy. Go figure.

In other news, apparently Blake lives in the mountains and eats bugs? Is it weird that I find that hot?

This date proved that bug man Blake and Andrew Keegan impersonator Jason clearly have the strongest connections with Becca. 

Becca said Andrew Keegan impersonator Jason is a really good kisser. 

I refuse to believe that Becca has anything in common with Colton besides the fact that she wants to make out with his face.

Can we talk about Colton real quick? The guy has no idea how to dress himself, has shady motives and said he’s “one of the good guys.” Have you ever met an actual good guy who calls himself a good guy? Me neither. Colton, to top if off, doesn’t think Jordan is here “for the right reasons,” which is hysterical because Colton thought Tia was going to be The Bachelorette and tried to get to know her beforehand, but I digress. This golden boy was bothered by the fact that Jordan was wearing golden underwear that Becca gave him. First of all, it would be rude to not wear a gift from Becca. Secondly, Colton tried to shame Jordan by telling him he’s classless and calling him a “pussy” (or maybe a fa***ot since it was bleeped out) in the same sentence. Jordan quickly picked up on this irony.

“You just called me a ***** and you’re talking about respect?” -Jordan

Ding, ding. We have a winner.

Jordan- 1

Colton- 0

We learned Jean Blanc is a shady individual. Talking as if he’s reciting a script, he gifted Becca a perfume and admitted that he’s falling in love with her. When Becca admits she isn’t feeling the same and thinks he should go home, Jean Blanc tries to take back the perfume and says he isn’t falling in love with her and just said that because he thought that’s what she wanted to hear.

Jean Blanc has officially been canceled.

Fuck that guy.

Understandably upset, Becca cancels the rest of the group date and doesn’t give out a rose.

1-on-1 With WIlls

“Hi my name is Wills and I’m the most adorable human on the planet” -a rough translation of what Wills said in this interview upon learning he has a 1-on-1 date.

Wills is such a genuine person. You can tell he is an ACTUAL good guy and that he really cares about Becca. Plus, he does have a non-traditional style but doesn’t dress like a three-year-old dressing himself for the first time. Take notes, Colton.

While I think Becca appreciates these qualities about Wills, I don’t think he’s the one for her. I do hope, however, that he can somehow make it to the final four. (My final four predictions are: Jason, Blake, Wills and Colton)

After they go four-wheeling up a mountain, Wills has a serious talk with Becca about his last relationship. When Wills told Becca his ex asked for a “hall pass.” I audibly yelled. 

Becca’s reaction: “Why?”

Wills: Exactly

Ugh, these two are just genuine and pure souls and I love them both even though they don’t belong together. Also, I don’t like watching them kiss.

Here’s Becca doing her leg thing again.

Rose Ceremony

I am currently mourning the fact that Nick, aka bae, aka the guy cosplaying Draco Malfoy, was sent home. His beautiful face shall be missed.

Another beauty, Christon, was sent home. The guy literally has a twinkle in his eye at all times. It’s like he’s a Disney prince.

I’m going to end this recap with one Jordanism:

“I”m like a sponge. You can squeeze me and get everything out of me, but you’ll never know unless you try.”

Gosh, I love Jordan. He may be my favorite Bachelorette contestant of all time. I still think Chad will forever be the best villain and most complex character, but his entire presence is too negative for me to enjoy fully. Plus, Jordan responds to my Instagram DMs. He appreciates his fans, and I appreciate that.

[tumblunni]

Man its so weird to think back and see how many signs there were that I was transgender long before I realized it. I was SO fucking oblivious, I had no clue that being nonbinary was even an option, all I knew was 'well I don't wanna be the opposite gender but I don't wanna be the one I was assigned at birth'. (Except obviously I didn't even know the correct words to describe it) And like... I bought into A LOT of horrible transphobic bullshit, cos I was raised with a biased view of what being transgender even is. 'Trans-sexual people are turned on by wearing women's clothes'. Ugh. And I was completely disgusted by it, since I'm a sex repulsed asexual and everything about foreplay or whatever disgusts me. My parents and pop culture and stuff all treated it like trans people were the equivelant of someone into BDSM wearing nipple clamps out in public or something. 'Well in theory I have nothing against them having that kink, but why do they have to show it in public?' Being trans was ALWAYS only shown as 'oo kinky I like to crossdress in the bedroom', as if it was a fucking sexuality, as if there was NO OTHER REASON why someone would wanna wear the 'wrong' clothes and use the 'wrong' pronouns. I felt viscerally disgusted at myself whenever I didn't want to wear my birth gender's cliche outfits, I denied absolutely everything cos I didn't want people to think I was a pervert. I didn't even know it was POSSIBLE to be transgender and asexual, or even that being transgender wasn't the same as being gay! I said SO MUCH fucking horrible transphobic and homophobic stuff as a kid, just parroting what I was told, and overcompensating for hating myself by making it clear I hated everyone remotely similar to me. While being in huge denial that they were similar to me! And I'm gonna carry these regrets forever and always worry that I stopped someone else from feeling comfortable about theirself and just... GAHH! And I did all the same too about parroting stereotypes of 'crazy people' and 'r*tards' before I learned that this big ol stereotype about autism was bullshit and real autistic people look EXACTLY LIKE MYSELF It just makes me think a lot about how many other people out there might be trans and not have the ability to find out because they've been buried so utterly in this false, bigoted image of what a trans person actually is. Tho also I hate the dumb stereotype that 'all homophobes are secretly gay', like seriously wtf why u wanna escape all responsibility for your actions and say the only problem is gay people systemically oppressing THEMSELVES... ANYWAY I went off on a sad train of thought there but back to the point! I'm just remembering this one part of a school trip that was like one of my most treasured memories for no logical reason until I realised I was trans. I met a new classmate and he mistook me for the opposite gender, and I was like 'HOLY SHIT WHY AM I HAPPY' until someone else 'corrected' him. I mean.. I knew I wasn't that gender either, but it felt like a weight off my shoulders to at least be misgendered the opposite way for once. I felt inexplicably happy that I was looking ambiguous enough to even be in question! And this was when I was like 11, I had no clue what word to even assign to these feelings... And I mean, it was SO DUMB that I never noticed these signs! This is what internalized transphobia does to you! Like 'hey there's probably no reason at all why I always play as a different gender ever time I buy a pokemon game, and get this self hatey feeling in my gut when both options have very stereotypically gendered costumes'. And 'wow there sure is no reason why I got inexplicably attached to this genderless character and can't stop thinking about ways to prove they aren't real'. Seriously all that debate about 'quina is really a girl/boy' with weird evidence in stat builds and equip items and stuff! I got REALLY into that transphobic bullshit cos it was something that shook up my perception of the world and I felt like if not being either gender was ACTUALLY AN OPTION then id have to address painful things about myself. If I knew I could be that, I couldn't keep lying to myself. So I went in aggressive denial mode and missed this chance to come out of the closet at like 9 years old and save myself a damn lot of trouble! And then I just went through the same bullshit at 14 with Chrona from Soul Eater, and could not explain why on earth I was so upset that the English dub assigned them a random gender instead of translating it properly... And OH MAN how fucking dysphoric I was about puberty even before I knew that dysphoria was a thing! It was like 'hey look you're growing up!' 'NO IM NOT DEAR GOD NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN'. And that led to this stupid thing of me just saying 'well I have the mental age of a seven year old LOL' to excuse whenever I acted 'weird'. My forum avatar and stuff was a doodle of myself in chibi form, etc. (Even literally wearing chest binding... I only knee at the time that it was 'a martial arts thing' tho.) Like, I'd got all these messages that not wanting sex was 'childish' and not wanting my body to change was obviously 'immature', and when I was undiagnosed with mental illness and trying yo make up excuses for how I TOTALKY didn't have a mental illness, all I could say was 'ha ha I'm totally uhh... Doing it on purpose? Cos I'm so... Quirky?' I got obsessed with overacting as a class clown, cos I mean you can also excuse cross dressing as a thing that 'the comic relief character' does... And OH MAN, like my big Special Interest throughout all of high school was Norse myth, more specifically Loki. I was FASCINATED with the idea of a shape shifter who could be either gender, and was completely unashamed about it. And, of course, I used to play it off as 'ha ha isn't it so funny he turned into a girl', when I seriously did not have any clue WHY it was funny, I just thought I had to say it. It HAD to be the reason I was so sympathetic yo this character, right? Because he's A FUNNY JOKE?? And man then I got so obsessed with researching non gendered English pronouns from the 18th century and championing how they should totally come back into modern language and EVEN THEN I was in denial! It took until I played Magical Diary to realise 'well fuck I'm trans'. It took a game outright saying that these genderless pronouns arent just 'to be inclusive of both genders' but can be used for A THIRD GENDER, A GENDERLESS GENDER, A BOTH AND/OR NEITHER GENDER!! A game saying that this gender does exist in human beings, and EVEN THEN I took ages to be sure that it was really real and not just a fantasy thing that the game made up. I mean, quina was totally only genderless cos they're a magical creature, right? (Completely ignoring the fact that the other two members of that magical creature town are both male...) And just.... AAAAAAA I feel like I'm the human personification of that 'no Patrick, put it on the lid' meme No, you're trans. No, TRANS. Trans, bunni! TRANS!! This is what societal prejudices do to people. Even LGBTQ people usually grow up within homophobic, transphobic society, absorbing all the same messages. It destroys our ability to be okay with being ourselves... Its so fucking sad that this happened to me, and it hurts even more to think of all the times I said insensitive offensive stuff to other LGBTQ people back when I thought I was cis and straight... Gahhhh... ALSO, it makes me extra sad that Summon Night: Swordcraft Story 2 never got released in Europe. There's a character there called Arno who's NB and very out about it, and the English translators didn't make a mess of it, or anything. People actually call Arno 'they', and literally their catchphrase is 'Are you a boy or a girl?' 'I'm just a child of the wind~' Like seriously NO ambiguity, character actually getting to dish out sick burns when being misgendered, absolutely NO room for the ol 'well they just don't MENTION a gender, it doesn't mean they were intended to be nonbinary' excuse. Arno outright stating 'I am not a boy, and I an not a girl'. And your protagonist respecting it! Arno is still my absolute fave best handled nonbinary character in all of games. And the summon night series is very inclusive with a lot of gay romance options! Its a shame tho that the only other game with a nonbinary character was never dubbed even in america. But apparently the protags of previous games get a cameo in the upcoming Summon Night 6 which finally will be released in Europe! I just hope they handle Corlal's pronouns respectfully, considering how they managed to do it so well a decade ago with Arno. But then again the Swordcraft Story series is a spinoff so the main games might have different translators? Anyway, let me hug my tiny enby dragon child! Also I'm sad the cellphone app trading card game never got dubbed either, cos Corlal got some cute cards for the valentine's day event. All three dragon kids just got adorable scenes making platonic family chocolate for their siblings cos they're too young to really participate. And they thankfully got super cute totally non-lolicon maid and butler outfits like SERIOUSLY THANK GOD FOR THAT! Just cute ten year olds playing dressup like normal kids. Corlal got two cards for that one! Them being nonbinary continues to be 100% canon, they got a version with both a dress and a tuxedo. AND ITS SO FUCKING CUTE MY GOD ...man I'm sorry this just went off topic into how great that series is But anyway! If I've ever said anything that offends you, please message me about it! I'm still unlearning a lot of internalized prejudice. Also if you want a quality nonbinary werewolf in a cool side scrolling GBA jrpg, look for Arno! Im on mobile rite now so I can't send links n stuff, but as soon as I finish moving my PC desk to the other room I shall spam you all with my obscure fandom's!!!