#Somehow the noses were the most difficult part I forgot how to draw dog noses for a second

[polarades]

Anxiety

Fanart of @canisalbus' characters! I love these two a lot, I hope I did them justice!

[homoose]

Enter With Abandon: Part I

Summary: Reader accidentally orders three meal kit boxes. Spencer takes one off her hands.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: none

Word count: 1.4k

a/n: I just love a good meet cute, you guys. This is part one of four. ☺️

———

She had come to terms with the fact that she was a terrible cook. She’d grown up just above the poverty line, with parents who worked long hours on odd schedules. That meant that she and her brother had gotten by on a lot of PB&J, hot dogs, and TV dinners. They certainly didn’t learn how to prepare and cook meals. So when she became an adult, with a real job and an actual salary and without a college dining hall at her disposal, she began ordering a lot of takeout.

It didn’t take long for her bank account to remind her that delivery four days a week was above her pay grade. As a compromise, she’d ordered a HelloFresh box. It was still kind of expensive, but it was a far cry from what she’d been spending on Postmates. She tried a Blue Apron box, and those were a little too advanced for her skill set, but she kept the account open just to look. HomeChef quickly became her favorite service— the meals were ridiculously easy and tasted pretty good once they were doctored up with various spices.

She had just started to level up into mediocre cooking territory when she came home to not one, not two, but three meal kit boxes in the mailroom. She frantically pulled up the apps to see that she had somehow missed the day to skip the box for the HelloFresh and BlueApron boxes that week. She now had nine meals to cook in the next seven days (five when accounting for produce freshness).

She hauled the boxes upstairs to her apartment and pulled up the app to check what meals she had even ordered. The BlueApron recipes were thankfully not too difficult, and she opened the box and unpacked the ingredients into the fridge. She did the same with the HelloFresh box, actually excited to try out a mahi mahi recipe that she probably wouldn’t have been adventurous enough to pick on her own. The recipes in the HomeChef box were fine other than a cavatappi recipe she wasn’t too thrilled about, but she ultimately decided that there was no way she’d be able to cook everything from all three boxes without something going bad.

Which is how she ended up in front of apartment 23, huffing out a breath. Apartments 20 and 21 had been… less than friendly. She’d never actually seen anyone enter or exit this apartment, so she wasn’t even sure anyone lived there. Still, she knocked three times and waited, box in hand.

There was some shuffling, footsteps, and the click of the deadbolt. She opened her mouth to start her spiel, but the sound died in her throat at the man in front of her.

Her neighbor stood in his doorway, all fluffy curls and glasses and stubble, and she forgot why she was even standing there. He was wearing a navy cardigan that looked incredibly soft, a white collared shirt underneath, the top two buttons undone, and heather grey slacks on his long legs. On his feet were mismatched socks— one bright green and the other rainbow striped.

“Can I help you?” he asked, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and drawing her out of her ogling.

“Oh— I, um.” She held up the box. “I’m your neighbor, um, unit 22. I—I do these um, meal kit boxes and I— well, I’m signed up for three different plans, and you have to remember to go into each individual app and skip the week if you don’t want a box delivered, and I thought I did that, but apparently I didn’t, and so now I have three meal kits and that’s way more than I need because I’m only one person so—”

She paused to suck in a breath. The very corners of his lips twitched into the start of a smile and she about spontaneously combusted. He waited for her to continue, one very cute eyebrow raised at her rambling. She gave herself a mental thrashing and a get it together before continuing.

“So. I’m trying to give away this box, because I don’t want the food to go to waste. However, as it turns out, people are not keen on taking food from a stranger, even when it’s in a sealed package from a reputable meal kit service.” She shrugged. “That said, um, do you want this box? Of food. For you.”

He huffed out a laugh. “I— I don’t know if I’m the best candidate for the box.” He bared his teeth sheepishly. “I’m not a very good cook.”

“Oh! Well, this is the easiest kit, actually. Like, they even pre-cook the pasta so all you have to do is add it in, which I think is kind of ridiculous because who can’t boil noodles? But you know, it’s good if you like, work long hours or whatever.”

He considered her for a moment. “Okay, I’ll take it.”

She was so shocked that he hadn’t closed the door in her bumbling face that her mouth dropped open. “You will?”

“Yeah, you convinced me. Do you wanna…?” He held his hands out and she nodded.

“Yeah, of course, sorry.” She handed him the box. “Thank you so much for taking it off my hands,” she said, dusting imaginary particles off of them. “My conscience feels a lot lighter knowing I won’t be contributing to our nation's issue with food waste. Like, did you know that the average person throws away 219 pounds of food per year, and that most of that food gets sent to landfills where it decays and produces nitrogen pollution, which causes algae blooms and dead zones?”

He pressed his lips together. “I actually did know that.”

“Oh. Well. Good.” She crossed her arms. “It—It’s good that you know that, because, you know, maybe you’ll be more mindful of your own food waste.” Her eyes went wide and she held out an apologetic hand. “Not that I’m saying that you’re not mindful or anything. I just—it’s—it can be good to know things.” It can be good to know things?!

“It certainly can be good to know things.” His lips were turned up in the sweetest smile, golden eyes crinkling at the corners, and she didn’t even care if he thought she was a complete idiot, because she just wanted him to smile at her like that for the rest of eternity.

“Absolutely. Knowing things is… awesome.” She wished the floor beneath her would open up and drop her straight into hell. “Okay. Well, bye.” She turned and took two steps, then did a 180 just as he was closing the door. “Oh, just— you might wanna add more spices than they write in the recipes. I think they write them with the intention of being kind of bland to appeal to a wider audience, but you know, they can end up being kind of… well, bland.”

He smiled again and she couldn’t stop staring. “Thanks for the heads up.”

“You’re welcome. Okay. Well, really bye this time.” She turned and walked as calmly as she could back to her apartment. When she heard the click of his deadbolt she dropped her head into her hand in complete and utter mortification at the sheer lack of chill she’d just exhibited. “What in the actual fuck is wrong with you?”

…

It quickly became obvious why she hadn’t known if anyone lived there— because he was hardly ever home. She listened a little more purposefully to the footsteps on the stairs and the noises through the wall. She wondered if maybe he worked odd hours or had a significant other whose apartment he stayed at.

She was busy enough with work and cooking the other six meals that she had almost forgotten about the humiliating encounter with the man from apartment 23. By the following Friday, she was so tired from the week that she didn’t even glance at his mailbox like she’d been doing all week, S. Reid scrawled across the label. She dragged herself up the stairs and across the landing, fishing her keys out of her bag.

She stopped in front of her door to see a small glass container sitting on her doormat. She looked up and down the hallway before bending to pick it up. There was a paper note taped to the top, written in the same chicken scratch from the mailbox. She saved the note, opting to pop open the lid on the pyrex to find four perfectly baked scones with some sort of citrus glaze. She balanced the dish in one hand and shuffled the note open with the other.

I’m not a great cook, but I’m a pretty good baker. Thanks for the box.

Spencer, Unit 23

P.S. You were right about the spices.

———

Permanent tags: @andiebeaword @averyhotchner @saspencereid @pinkdiamond1016 @shadyladyperfection

[sun-summoning]

the adventures of the alien hunter gura-san and the space sadist (lol)

-

i. break up

sougo told her they shouldn’t split up, but kagura was insistent. you stay on the ship, she ordered, donning her cloak and grabbing her new and improved umbrella. 

had it not been for the toxic gas this particular planet exuded, sougo would have been hunting down their bounty with her. but his human lungs cannot handle it, their fairly sophisticated ship had informed them, and so sougo was confined to the pilot’s chair with a walkie-talkie to keep him company.

sougo brings the device to his face. “i’m bored, china girl.”

there’s a moment before he hears static and the sound of kagura panting. he frowns, realizing she must be running. 

“oi, china girl, you dead?”

he sure hopes she isn’t. he can make it off this planet on his own if he needs to, but the reality is that beyond the bounties they’ve been hunting to build their space travel funds, kagura’s brother was kindly supplying them with most of their weapons and other goods, all courtesy of his new harusame. and if kagura died, sougo would no longer have access to all the cool bazookas the now slightly less barbaric crime syndicate had to offer him. 

that and her dad might kill him.

sighing, sougo presses down on the walkie-talkie once again. “china girl--”

“i’m not dead, you stupid sadist!” she finally replies. “but i will be!”

“oh. well that’s a shame.”

“shut up and turn on the ship’s cannons!”

“hm?”

“the cannons! i need help, yes?!”

doing so would require him to move to the other chair, so sougo slouches in the one he’s in and tries making the sound of static. “what was that, china girl?” he repeats the noise. “you’re breaking up...ajfhjhdgsa...i can’t hear you...”

he hears kagura screaming and snickers under his breath.

“you useless idiot!” the walkie-talkie booms. “i should have left you in your jail cell to rot!”

sougo flinches at that. much to his surprise, she doesn’t often bring up the fact that she saved him from having to cut himself open at the behest of the new government a few months ago.

feeling guilty, he starts the ships engine to do as she requested. the front lights turn on, revealing the sight of kagura running towards the ship with a massive lizard-like monster chasing after her. 

“huh.” he blinks. “well shit.”

kagura yells curses at him, but they come from outside rather than the walkie-talkie. the monster seems to focus on the ship now rather than her, so sougo grins and shoots, resulting in an explosion of guts. 

realizing he forgot to dial down the power of the cannon, sougo cringes. 

“you idiot!” kagura yells from outside. 

sougo stands and looks out the front, finding kagura standing in the front of the lights and covered in a nasty green goo that he can only assume was the monster’s blood, with chunks of its innards sliding off of her too. she begins screaming insults and so sougo points the cannon in her direction.

-

ii. cohabitation

their ship has one bed, which is fine because there’s rarely ever a time when they can both be asleep during travel. even when the ship is on autopilot, it’s only prudent that at least one of them be at the controls. but sometimes they find themselves at rest stop planets, wanting to sleep properly before taking on a more difficult mission because their funds are running low. this leads to them having to share.

first sougo laid down, patiently explaining to kagura that pets either slept at their master’s feet or on the floor. after that, she pulled him by the ankle and threw him into a wall. when he’d slumped down to the ground, she told him he could stay there. after another hour of bickering, they finally agreed to share. there was, after all, space for both of them and their egos included.

“oi, stop hogging the blanket,” sougo mutters. he pulls it away from her, effectively taking the entire thing. when she screeches in frustration, sougo rolls over to wrap himself in it entirely.

“i’m cold!”

“then get another blanket.” 

he knows for a fact there’s at least another one among their supplies, he just refuses to be the one to get it. 

naturally, kagura feels the same way, meaning the two of them will probably spend this night chilly and uncomfortable because they’re both too petty to let the other win. 

he feels her find the edge of his blanket burrito before she pulls it. he rolls over, freeing enough of it that she can get under the blanket as well. it fits well enough over the both of them, sougo can admit, but--

“your skin is touching my skin,” she whines. “it’s gross, yes?”

“you’re gross.”

“no, you’re gross.”

“no, really, you’re gross.” sougo sniffs loudly for show. he turns his head and ends up with her hair in his face considering their proximity. “you still smell like that slime monster from the slime planet.” this isn’t true, of course. she actually smells like shampoo, but sougo isn’t about to tell her that.

kagura pinches him from under the blanket. “well you still smell like that the garbage disposal you fell into when we were on the dog planet!” that particular job had been about a month ago. also, he didn’t fall into it. rather, she’d pushed him in.

they insult each other for a good ten minutes, referencing the various planets they’ve visited in their search to restore sadaharu and build the funds required for that, reminding sougo of just how long they’ve been at this partnership. 

soon they’re both fairly tuckered out and kagura’s head is lolling onto his shoulder. he doesn’t push her away, although he does blow at the locks of hair that are tickling his nose. she mumbles something of a goodnight in combination with a sleep-addled insult, and sougo does the same.

-

iii. future

since they’re in space and since they need a place to restock on supplies, they decide to visit kondo and his new wife on whatever gorilla planet she came from. he’ll be going back to earth shortly as per the agreement their governments set up, but if sougo ever wanted to see kondo, now would be the time. 

sougo doesn’t know why kondo willingly went into this political marriage, but he suspects doing so is the reason the shinsengumi were able to disband rather than all be put to death. aside from himself, of course. thinking about all the times he nearly blew up katsura, sougo figures he had it coming. 

before they leave the planet, kondo places a heavy hand on sougo’s shoulder and tells him that he’s glad he’s safe now. sougo is about to argue that being around a monster like kagura is hardly safe, but kondo soon pulls him into his arms for a hug. sougo doesn’t really care for this sort of contact, but with kondo it’s different. managing to relax, sougo returns the embrace. 

“i’m so happy you two are together,” kondo whispers brokenly. when he pulls back, there are actual tears in his eyes.

sougo frowns. “ah, kondo-san, i don’t think you understand.”

“hush, sougo. i’ve always known how you felt about the china girl.”

"what.”

“toshi and i used to flail whenever you two had a moment.”

“what.”

“okay, fine. i would flail and toshi would tell me to stop. but that’s neither here, nor there!”

“kondo-san--”

“oi, sadist!” his completely platonic alien hunting partner calls. he grunts when she punches his arm in greeting before she turns to kondo. “gorilla, please thank the lady gorilla for all the bananas she gave us!” kagura gives kondo a quick hug before going off to load their supplies on the ship. 

sougo watches her go, and when he turns back to kondo, he is now actually full on crying.

“kondo-san--”

kondo draws him back into his tight embrace, audibly sobbing and wiping his wet face on sougo’s jacket.

“i’m just so happy!” kondo says. “i wish you two all the best on your future together!” 

sougo bites his lip as his eye twitches, not having the heart to tell kondo that this future doesn’t exist. 

but then they leave the gorillas, working seamlessly on their ship to get to the next planet with dragon’s veins for them to investigate. sougo checks the weapons to make sure they’re all working properly while kagura flies the ship because she’s actually really good at it. he sits in the co-pilot’s seat when he’s done, and she glances at him briefly, smiling so softly that he can’t help but grin back.

looking out at the stars, sougo allows himself to consider that a future by her side wouldn’t be so bad. or, at the very least, the next few years for now. 

-

iv. bad pick up line

kagura is not above letting random people flirt with her and offer to buy her a drink or a snack just to get free stuff. they offer pathetic pick up lines and compliments and kagura giggles and grins like she’s watched her dear anego do in the past. and then when she has what she wants, she runs away from her benefactors by stating she has a boyfriend and pointing his way.

he suspects he isn’t actually supposed to hear that last part considering it isn’t true and she’d probably scoff at him if he brought it up. soon she sits in front of him, sipping on a drink that she didn’t pay for, and then tries convincing him to buy her another one.

this time she actually pisses someone off. he’s an alien that sougo’s seen before, looking more or less like a walking hyena. he stomps over to where they’re sitting, seething over being scammed -- which, to be fair, sougo can’t blame him for -- and has the audacity to think this is somehow sougo’s fault.

“you the boyfriend?” the hyena asks with a sneer. he glares at kagura. “you better put a leash on your girl.”

“trust me, i’ve tried,” sougo solemnly explains. “she doesn’t like it though.”

kagura kicks him under the table. “oi!”

the hyena isn’t amused. he smacks the drink out of kagura’s hand, resulting in the glass shattering on the floor and creating a sticky mess. the rest of the pub goes silent and all eyes fall on them.

they can leave, sougo considers, but kagura just ordered their food and they’re pretty damn hungry. he can tell this hyena fucker to just piss off, but words aren’t really all that fun. 

so sougo opts for his favourite option, smiling at kagura’s drink ticket of an idiot and standing up. the movement in itself is enough to have the other man take a step back. sougo assumes he didn’t expect him to actually consider fighting.

with the entire crowd of space traders and hunters and criminals alike watching, sougo is certain that if they start a fight, an all out brawl will overcome this bar. 

“you better watch your back,” the hyena threatens. 

“that sounds like a lot of work,” sougo replies. he grins as his hand falls to the sword at his hip. “so why don’t i just dispose of you now?”

the hyena’s eyes widen at the prospect of a fight, but sougo only gets to savour that sight for a brief moment because soon he’s falling to the ground. where his head was, sougo sees the end of kagura’s purple umbrella. she laughs at her handiwork and her cackles only grow louder when the rest of the hyena’s gang charge at them to fight.

sougo sighs to cover up the fact that he’s actually having a lot of fun. 

“tch, china girl, you’re so annoying.”

-

v. time skip

after two years, the bedroom part of their ship has gone from “sleeping quarters” to “kagura’s closet, but like with a bed.” he doesn’t know how she’s gathered so much stuff, but she’s quick to point out that he’s not any better. 

dragging him to their weapons locker that’s actually a weapon’s room, kagura gestures to the well-organized walls of blades, guns, bazookas, and more. 

sougo frowns. “this isn’t the same thing.”

“this used to be where we kept supplies!”

“these are supplies.”

“they’re just toys and you know it!”

sougo pouts because it wasn’t his fault that kamui had a habit of gracing him with a second of whatever new weapon he had so that the two of them could test them on each other. sougo grins at one particular space sword fondly, remembering how he’d almost cut kamui’s head off with it. 

“and you have a lot of clothes too, yes?” kagura points to a box in the corner labelled as explosives but that they both know are actually full of gear he’s gathered and held on to. after years of living in a uniform, he might’ve gone a bit crazy over all the things the rest of the galaxy had to offer. she removes the top and pulls out the black coat he’d gotten from a shop on rakuyou. 

“like why do you have this jacket?”

“well, first of all, it’s not a jacket,” he points out. “it’s a duster. it’s like a jacket, only it’s longer, thicker, and far more badass.”

“it’s dumb, yes?”

sougo glares at her and stomps back to the bedroom. there he pulls out a cloak of hers that’s riddled with holes and patches and holes with patches only half sewn on. the ends are tattered and frankly, this thing wouldn’t even make a good rag.

“you have three other cloaks, not including all the other similar things you’ve acquired over the past two years.” he gestures to where they all hang. “and yet you wear this piece of shit.”

“because it’s my comfy cloak!”

“and the others?”

“the beige one is for camouflage, the white one is my formal one, and the black one is for when i need to look extra badass!” she yanks her comfy cloak out of his grip, and because he holds it tightly and it’s also so painfully thin at this point, it rips in half. 

kagura screams in anguish, blaming him for this tragedy, and promptly stomping away. he feels smug for a moment, but then hears her rummaging around the weapons room. eyes wide with panic, sougo chases after her.

-

vi. kiss

sougo feels like an intruder when she cries over sadaharu in front of him. her arms are around sadaharu’s neck as she sobs, tears falling from her eyes and snot dripping down her nose. she rubs her face again sadaharu’s fur and he licks her in return. kagura laughs and despite the way her lip trembles over her newly restored dog, she smiles brightly and promises sadaharu she’ll never let him go. 

“thank you,” she breathes. kagura straightens and faces him, while sadaharu settles at their side. “you helped me find a way to save sadaharu and now he’s--” 

a glance to where sadaharu sits has her sniffing again. sougo wants to make fun of her or play it cool because her openly emotional self is making him anxious. he swallows thickly, trying to find an insult, but finds himself rendered silent by the gratitude in her eyes.

“thank you, sougo,” she repeats.

hearing her use his name throws him off even more. she’s said in the past, of course, although it was usually paired with an insult. now she uses it to emphasize her genuine feelings. 

she laughs when sadaharu comes up to him, nudging sougo for a petting. sougo’s always been fond of the yorozuya dog, usually playing with him or sneaking him a treat when his owner’s weren’t looking. but now in front of kagura -- who, after two years of travelling together, no longer tries biting his head off for coming close to her dog -- sougo grins at sadaharu and touches his face. sadaharu leans into his touch and then licks his hand. 

kagura makes a noise of amusement and then sadaharu comes closer to sougo. he suspects the dog is going to try eating his head like he often does with people, so sougo dips his head lower. sadaharu just pushes him forward though, resulting in sougo bumping into kagura and his lips falling over hers.

she squeaks in surprise as sougo sucks in a breath, realizing what just happened.

he draws away, ready to mutter an apology, but kagura’s hands are on his arms. she looks at him with bright eyes and a flush on her cheeks and then she starts to giggle because this is all just so painfully cliche. 

“this happened in a shoujo i read,” she tells him. 

he doesn’t notice the way his own hands settle on his hips. “and it happened in ladies four.” 

“oh, i remember that episode.” kagura nods but his eyes stay trained on her lips. “i think they kissed again after the accidental kiss, yes?”

“are you angling for another one?”

she looks over his shoulder at sadaharu, who barks before shoving sougo once again. 

-

vii. jealousy

as a fugitive, returning to edo is hardly as easy for him as it is for kagura. she often sits in the back with sadaharu, hugging him and talking to him about all the things they’ll do together when they get back to kabukicho. she’s so happy, so wholly and undeniably happy, that sougo feels guilty for resenting her for it. 

after two years of being an alien hunting duo while investigating how to restore sadaharu, sougo can admit that he actually quite likes this life. but, he suspects, a large part of that proably has to do with the fact that he does this with her. 

naturally, she picks up on his darkening mood, something she’s been able to do well before they began their galaxy-wide adventures.

“you’ll stay with us, yes?” she asks slowly. she focuses on the ship’s controls before taking a deep breath and turning her chair to face him. when he doesn’t do the same, she kicks his chair to turn it too. “sadist?��

“hm?”

“you’ll come with sadaharu and me back home, yes?”

sougo isn’t unused to the idea of being a fugitive. he spent plenty of time roaming the country with the shinsengumi to rally up forces and take down nobunobu’s corrupt government. back then, all he wanted was to go back to edo. all he wanted was to take naps in the park, shoot rockets at his superior officer, cause obscene amounts of property damage with the local alien girl. 

but now he doesn’t know what he wants and he finds himself jealous of her for being so sure about what will happen next. 

“we’ll see.”

his response makes her frown. “i won’t let zura execute you,” she promises. “i’m still leader, so he has to listen to what i say, yes?”

sougo shakes his head though, because katsura is no longer the head of an unofficial terrorist faction simply humouring a young girl. but if a moron like him could roam around edo for so long and evade being captured, sougo thinks he could probably do the same.

“i guess you’re right.”

“it’s been a long time since we were back,” she says, turning her chair. sougo faces the front and on a screen using ridiculous amounts of magnification, he sees the blue and green of earth. “i’m excited to go back.”

“me too,” he admits. 

kagura grins at him and after a moment, he realizes he’s grinning too. she looks so cute with way her eyes glitter with excitement, with the stress of saving sadaharu finally off her shoulders. he leans forward, meaning to kiss her one more time, when he hears the telltale ring of their universal phone. 

sougo says he’ll go get it, and when he sees the message that a new job is available, he grins. 

“it’s the alien hunters guild,” he tells her as he settles back in his chair.

“oh?” kagura concentrates on flying as they maneuver through an asteroid belt. “what’s the job?”

“a herd of behemoths on the planet oukoku,” sougo reads. his eyes widen when he sees the reward. “good money, too.”

“how come?”

“i have a feeling the job is being requested by the royal family.” sougo skims through some reading on behemoths and oukoku and comes to the conclusion that this herd is a result of the time some of the co-king’s “pets” escaped into the wilderness the previous year. sougo shows kagura a picture of what a fully grown behemoth looks like in comparison to a human and they both grow excited by the challenge. “want to take it?”

her hands tighten over the ship’s controls as she considers the job. it would probably take them at least a couple of weeks, and oukoku was at least two days travel from earth. she bites her lip, contemplating the people she left behind there and the life she has now.

“that is a lot of money...”

sougo snorts. “enough to buy you a cloak in every possible colour.”

“and to buy you a dozen new bazookas.”

behind them, sadaharu yips. he’s not generally allowed in the control area due to his size, but he squeezes his face into the gap between their chairs and licks sougo and then licks kagura. he barks, excited, and kagura grins at sougo over sadaharu’s head.

“i guess we can fit in one more adventure before returning to earth, yes?”