#Some collages I made out of others fanart because it is comforting to me but need to get rid of for more storage space my phone

[varianwinchester]

[shioaoi]

Today is finale day for Nancy Drew.

I've attempted to keep myself busy, not let the sadness envelope me at the loss of somthing so precious to me. But at some point you have to stop moving, so I thought I would be sappy here on main cos so many other fans are, and reading everyone's experiences has shown me that I'm not the only person this show has touched so deeply.

I was rather late finding this show. Here in the UK, we don't have the CW network, though to be honest I don't watch a lot of cable anyways. It was simply by chance that a gifset was reblogged onto my dash, one of the morning-after scenes from 3x13. The softness of Nancy and Ace in that scene melted my asexual heart, and then I read the tags and saw it was from a show called Nancy Drew.

The Nancy Drew games were some of my earliest experiences with video games, my aunt for my Birthday and Christmas would buy me games from a site called Big Fish and install them onto my PC, and one of the ones she brought was a Nancy Drew game. Visual Novels, Point and Clicks, and Mystery Games are still a core part of my tastes as a gamer, even as I branched out into more modern, AAA games and the growing indie market.

So I downloaded the show, and watched it while running raids on an MMO - and I was instantly in love. It's difficult for me to find the mental capacity to consume media - particularly anything new - but the story telling, mystery and characters kept me hooked and guessing every episode, and by the time I had finished watching it, I was inspired in a way I had never been before.

At the time, I was working a corporate admin job, one I had been working ever since I had turned 18. I was a collage dropout with no grades, complex mental health issues, and PTSD from abuse, which caused me to lose a good few many years of my life just trying to stablisie. This show came into my life when I was starting to find a footing, and wanted to do more after all those years lost.

I began writing, creating narratives for characters I long had ideas for; fanfics that made me connect with fans; and fanart I used as opportunities to push myself out of my comfort zone of drawing.

It made me realise that I was discontent with where I was, and that what I wanted to do was create. I left my job to pursue art. Things didn't go according to plan, but the show was there for me throughout it and I kept writing and drawing even when I was in recovering from almost dying thanks to pancreatitis - 7 fics in 7 days is something I will forever be proud of but will never repeat.

And then I made the decision to apply to Uni, despite my disabilities and having no grades. I applied with a portfolio that featured the fanart and fanvids I made for this show, and I got accepted - now I will be going to learn how to make games, with the aim to make ones like the Nancy Drew games that got me into gaming as a kid.

I found a fandom that I wanted to engage with, even when I was bad at doing so.

I made my own merch because I was sad there was nothing official.

And now, even with this show ending, I will keep going forward with the spark this show ignited within me - and maybe I'll get to tell my own tale with this crew someday, you never know.

Thank you to the cast and crew, and to the fans, for quite literally changing my life

[vanisketches]

2020 Fanworks Highlights

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Tagged by: @dragonidpyrus12​ TYSM <3

Tagging: @kuriboh-i-choose-you​ & Anyone who still hasn’t done this! Just say I tagged you! :)

Here’s a summary I did in the past~

1. The 4th blue-eyes white dragon

This is my post with the largest number of notes on it! I honestly didn’t expect it’d blow up this way, it came out very late into 2020 but damn it quickly became one of my favorite pieces I’ve produced. I feel like it was a nice way, to close such a shitty year man. I should definetely invest and consider doing more collages, like this in the future. It was also a nice little way to revisit pixel-art, which I hadn’t done since 2018!

2. Artober 2020 Day 5: Decay

Day 6′s entry may have garnered a lot more attention, than this one. But IDK man, I still like this one a lot more. Looking back on this piece, I feel like I could have added more details to it- but at the same time. I had so much fun inking and just, going so out of my usual stuff for this one.

3. 6 fanarts challenge

This is a special piece for me, because it was around this time I was starting to recover the confidence on my work after I went through a long time without drawing due to many things last year. It felt nice drawing some of my favorite characters, like this.

4. You’ll become the next pharaoh

This is another personal favorite of mine, simply because I always wanted to do something that involved my drawings in combination WITH collages. In college I used to do those all the time, in fact- I kinda of became known for them within my classmates. So I’ve been meaning to try this, in a long time. I don’t think this is my best work, in fact- I feel like the 4th bewd is a lot better than this one BY MILES in comparison. But y’know, this was my first time & I got to do something with some personal HCs/thoughts I had involving priest Seto.

Runner-ups:

5. AoE 2 cavalry

It’s 2020, and I’m suddenly invested in a game that was made in the late 90′s. This is another personal favorite of mine, not because of skills & other reasons. Rather, AoE 2 is very nostalgic to me, it was my childhood and it brought me back some comforting personal memories. Now this is what I call a personal project. This was also my very first time working with watercolors, so there was that.

6. Rivalshippingweek 2020 Day 3: Game night

This was WACKY to work on, I hONESTLY I didn’t expect I’d be doing something like this in the middle of a shipping art event. I want to make more stuff like this in the future.

7. Gym leader Morty

This piece was meant to be posted on my birthday, in order to celebrate the fact my favorite character from pokemon had been just released onto masters. This was also my last pokemon related piece, before I took my massive break from the franchise due to feeling burned out from it.

8. Yami!Seto AU

This is how I enter a new fandom. What’s up fuckers. I had recently met & began talking to @obsessedwithyugioh​, and MAN what a way to get into this fandom. I’m so happy people seemed to have liked this AU’s idea. And I’m especially happy, I had the fortune of meeting & befriending Mew. On top of having such a blast while discussing this story (nothing like doing a whole ass overhaul of the OG serie).

[lbibliophile-mcu]

Star Spangled Bingo 2020 masterpost

The @star-spangled-bingo​ for 2020 is complete! 

I was hoping to get a blackout, but a combination of being side-tracked by ATLA fandom and misreading the closing date made me just miss it - I’ll just have to ssav those ideas for the next round!. But I’m still impressed by the number of Cap fills I managed (although none Sam-centric this time).

Fill details and links are below the cut (all fills are gen/teen).

Sleeping Bucky Prompt: Rescue Mission Fill type: moodboard and drabble  Characters: Steve Rogers / Bucky Barnes  Tags: fairytale au, cryofreeze, amnesia  Summary: They say that true love’s kiss can break a curse. But love is too vast and complex an emotion to be encompassed by a single kiss.

Armed and Ready (Winter Soldier braid]  Prompt: Losing Control of Powers Fill type: fancraft and drabble Characters: Bucky Barnes Tags: tablet weaving, Bucky Barnes’ metal arm, Infinity War Summary: He looks at the open case; at the dark limb with its bright tracery. He should have known this was coming. He had known. 

Conduction Prompt: Cuddling Fill type: fanfic (970 words) Characters:  Bucky Barnes & Tony Stark Tags: touch-starved, Bucky Barnes needs a hug Summary: Conduction n, the transfer of heat energy via contact. It is a small thing that makes him notice. A simple clap on the shoulder, emphasis for whatever point he is making. But when he moves to take his hand away, Bucky follows, just for a moment, prolonging the contact.

Wounds Unhealing Prompt: Home Alone Fill type: poem (440 words) Characters: Steve Rogers Tags: canonical character death, grief/mourning, Steve Rogers has PTSD, Endgame Summary:  They say time heals all wounds. But how can he heal when every memory tears away the slow-forming scab?

How Many Times? Prompt: “Where’s the fight?” Fill type: moodboard and poem (160 words) Characters: Steve Rogers Tags: grief/mourning, Steve Rogers has PTSD, Captain America as a role, suicidal ideation - potential interpretation Summary: When Steve agreed to become Captain America, he pledged his life in service to his country. And he gave his life, crashing a plane full of bombs into icy water. But then he wakes. He wakes, and they ask for Captain America once more. Again and again... He never thought about what it might mean that his contract had no end date.

Fri on the Wall Prompt: Friday Fill type: Drabble sequence (600 word) Characters:  Friday, Bucky Barnes / Tony Stark Tags: mutual pining, supportive Friday, 5+1 things, dialogue-only Summary: Friday watches her idiot, pining boys. Or, five times Friday tried to support their relationship, and one time she decided to take more drastic measures.

Ice Bound - pt 1 Prompt: Soulmate AU Fill type: fanfic (620 words) Characters:  Steve Rogers / Bucky Barnes Tags: assumed character death, soulmate AU, cryofreeze, CA:TFA Summary: Steve and Bucky are Bonded. From the day they first meet they are inseparable – best friends and brothers – hardly a day goes past without the other’s company. People say they are lucky, finding each other so young, so close, never having to search and wonder; they say that it is a sign of the strength of their bond. They will need that strength

Workout Prompt: “I need a new set of lungs” Fill type: moodboard Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Tags: animal AU, dog!Steve Rogers and dog!Bucky Barnes, human!Tony Stark Summary: If there were such a thing as supersoldiers in dog form, Bucky and Steve would be it. Tony loves them, but their energy will be the death of him someday.  

Trauma Bingo Prompt: PTSD Fill type: fanfic (1120 words) Characters:  Bucky Barnes & Avengers Team Tags: PTSD, therapy, crack, many traumatic topics touched on briefly and non-graphically - full list in AO3 tags Summary:  SHIELD remembers that trauma therapy exists, and their sights are set on the Avengers. Aka. How many issues can you fit in one team, and can you also get them all in the same person. Succeeding at trauma bingo is not actually winning…

Decorating Bucky’s Arm Prompt: Avengers Tower Fill type: moodboard/graphic Characters:  Bucky Barnes & Avengers Team Tags: Bucky Barnes’ metal arm, Avengers family, joke gifts Summary: “I’m noticing a trend with these gifts…”

Captain America braid Prompt: Free Space Fill type: fancraft Characters:  na Tags: tablet weaving, Captain America’s shield Summary: na

Visions of Xmas Past, Present, Future Prompt: Time Travel Fill type: moodboard and drabble Characters:  Bucky Barnes / Sam Wilson Tags: A Christmas Carol remix, blood, future relationship Summary: Christmas Eve in his shity little apartment in in Bucharest, a recovering Bucky Barnes is granted a gift: a reminder of how far he has come, and how much more he still has to gain.

Subject SS2 Prompt: Crying Themself to Sleep Fill type: fanfic (540 words) Characters: Steve Rogers Tags: Hydra, imprisonment, implied torture, implied medical experimentation, supersoldier serum, hurt no comfort Summary: Hydra has finally managed to achieve something they have been dreaming of since WWII: the capture of Captain America. But what to do with him? The science division calls dibs. After all, there's only so much you can learn from a historical sample size of one.

Cleaning up the Evidence Prompt: Giving the Kids a Bath Fill type: moodboard and drabble Characters:  Bucky Barnes / Tony Stark, Steve Rogers Tags: deaged!Steve Rogers, fluff, dialogue-only Summary: Tony discovers the unexpected pitfalls of an artistic toddler

Hunters and Haunted Prompt: Chance Encounter Fill type: moodboard (and pre-published drabble) Characters:  Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanoff Tags: nightmares, blood, guns Summary: Not all monsters can be fought with guns and steel. But a friend to guard your back is always invaluable.

Preventative Measures Prompt: Losing a sense Fill type: moodboard/graphic Characters:  Bucky Barnes Tags: self-mutilation, ear trauma, blood, Winter Soldier trigger words, CA:CW Summary:  ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones...’ but words turn me into a mindless killing machine. So Bucky takes matters into his own hands.

Heat-sensitive SHIELDRA Mug - Buy Now! Prompt: Mistaken Identity Fill type: graphic Characters:  na Tags: Hydra, crack, merchandise Summary: Do you want to show off your loyalty to your organisation? Frustrated that undercover operation cramps your style? Worry no more!

BUCK-E’s Problem Prompt: No-One Believes Them Fill type: fanart and drabble Characters:  Bucky Barnes & Tony Stark Tags: DUM-E’s Drawings, Bucky Barnes’ metal arm, cats, mechanical repairs Summary: Hanging out in TON-E’s workshop, DUM-E collects the best stories. BUCK-E is not amused.

A Dead Man’s Face Prompt: “I thought you were smaller.” Fill type: fanfic (530 words) Characters:  Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Tags: Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, partial amnesia, brainwashing, CA:TWS Summary: The Winter Soldier knows that he was once called Bucky Barnes, and had a childhood friend called Steve Rogers. The Winter Soldier knows that Captain America is his enemy and the enemy of everything Hydra stands for. The Winter Soldier now knows that Captain America is the type of man - monster - who would use the face of Bucky’s dead friend as a weapon against him. But he will not falter; he has a mission.

Collage Prompt: Mental Illness Fill type: fanfic (400 words) Characters:  Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Tags: PTSD, therapy, self-identity, Steve Rogers has issues, Bucky Barnes has issues but is dealing with them Summary: “You really think you don’t have anything you need to talk about? Because my therapist doesn’t just help with the Winter Soldier shit, y’know. I’m learning how to be a person again, and that means dealing with everything that makes me who I am. “In your case, there’s Captain-America-who-fights-aliens, Captain-Rogers-who-fights-Nazis, Steve-from-the-40s-who-fights-bullies, and Stevie-who-became-a-big-buff-supersoldier-to-hopefully-win-some-of-said-fights. And that’s just the obvious. No wonder you’re a mess.”

[artbykla]

Temple Rising

September 2019 (2017)

Mixed media, collage

My first collage piece for Syzygy's Jungle Show. I hinted in the previews that this piece had a bit of a story behind it. Well here is a summary: this piece sat in my closet for two years before I could finish.

I began this piece over two years ago, deciding I wanted to add collage to my already-very-many mediums I throw onto paper. I tried out many techniques to get the main image together. The sky is watercolor, the moon marker (using an image of the moon for reference), the water a mixture of watercolor, marker, and gel pen. For the mountain, I painted with an earthy tea for base staining, then built up with watercolor and colored pencil. I then used marker pens to stipple a texture. For the foliage, I arranged some soft leaves around the page, placed a paper towel over the piece, and then tapped the page with a hammer! This left a leaf impression on the page in bright green pigment (try it out! Your page will also smell really nice). I'd also done a lot of test sketches for these new techniques, which I'll post at a later date. Needless to say, I put a lot of work into this piece.

And then I couldn't add the collage. I had gathered several leaves and petals that seemed to fit the style, arranged in various ways, hemmed and hawed at the arrangement, then would leave in place on my desk for days, weeks. Sometimes moving a leaf or two. Never committing glue to paper. For some reason collage felt daunting in a way I haven’t felt since straying away from anime fanart in high school. (This is not a knock on fanart - I still enjoy making fanart, and it’s a great way to study and build your skills!) It was that first step outside of the comfort zone, and I was very scared I’d ruin this piece I felt happy with.

Eventually, I was moving apartments, and had to do something. But I wasn’t ready to finish the piece. My dried petals and leaves went into a shoebox, the art paper in a portfolio, to emerge whenever I felt I could return to the piece.

Between then, I did two other pieces that used collage a little less ambitiously than this piece tackled: Fractured Worlds and Born for a January 2019 Cosmos show (again hosted by Syzygy). Born especially helped me because I used flower petals there and learned how to attach without breaking the fragile dried plant matter. Both were good practice and built up my confidence to try again. Once Syzygy announced “Jungle” as the theme  for their fall art show, well, Temple Rising made sense. I opened up the old shoebox, and this time, everything clicked.

If this wall of text says anything to you, it’s that you can always return to old in-progress work if you feel stuck at the moment. And you can turn to other projects as you build the skills to return. For me, I’m excited to make work that begins to step into three dimensions, and where this will one day lead!

[varianwinchester]

[varianwinchester]

[varianwinchester]

[varianwinchester]