#Solas isn't just a Blorbo it's THE BLORBO

[arcandoria]

if anything bad happens to dread doggo I'll kill everyone in the room and then myself

[tiredassmage]

veilguard thoughts!

rook + solas parallels edition

spoilery ofc because my head's not full of cotton balls today and i haven't stopped chewing on it all since i finished the game! so! this is a little endgame heavy; you've been warned for what's below the cut <3

the final first playthrough counter has come in just over 67 hours and i am all but physically holding myself back from launching right into another one with another rook because i had a blast. i'll concede it was a bit heavy on the exposition in the first several hours, but what followed has certainly won my heart, and i think the game is visually beautiful.

but i'm not even looking to do a full review here, but i think one of the most fascinating things this game did was set up rook and solas. so, two parts of preface then: one, i was a little determined to love this game and hoped it would at least perform decent. that's my spite about it, lol, but that's not the point, so we're not here about that. two, one of my admitted concerns when they had first announced this game having its own protagonist was... that i wasn't sure there was another person to finish solas's story other than the inquisitor, and this isn't a solavellan thing for me, though my beloved canon inquisitor is a lavellan. solas's friendship wasn't the biggest hitch in inquisition for me, but it was important to my inquisitor. he wanted to prove his friend wrong.

i don't believe hallaren had a plan at the time for how to achieve that. he wasn't sure it was actually possible to convince solas the dalish were not as lost a cause as he seemed to believe, but he had to try.

and when i started veilguard, i wouldn't say i'd have anticipated the parallels of solas and rook, nor how well they ended up working for me. i admit: they got me. i didn't see that twist coming. and the hindsight of losing varric from the beginning makes a lot hurt (i say that as a compliment). i think it's easy enough to explain why i didn't see it, why (my, at least) rook didn't puzzle it out, but i also readily admit i'm historically bad at seeing these kinds of things, so you're free to be amused on your own time, lol.

anyway. regret. not becoming what you hate, what you claim to fight against. not being beholden to what you were or what you've lost. the game hits these beats several times, and i think its a real beautiful repeating thing they've done if you hammer all the companion's stories with the main deal, and i did the memories of the dread wolf as well. rook and the inquisitor have a conversation about it that about touches on all of it way more eloquently than i could summarize.

and, of course, part of the reveal is solas did dabble with blood magic on the matter of varric's death, did set rook up for the level of regret and grief they must settle with to trap them in the fade - a prison fit for gods, a prison fit for a god's regrets.

and this is where i transition into blorbo-specific thoughts. because i think part of what fascinates and delights me so much about the rook and solas, potentially two sides of the same coin deal is how tyr's relationship with solas starts and then develops.

tyr does not trust solas from the outset. which i think is where a very interesting presentation of similar (at their roots) choices begins, as varric says: in a bar, as all good stories. one of the first story notifications we get is how rook chooses to handle the bar owner: charm your way out, or a more direct approach, and we're told varric takes note of this.

varric's own plan is an appeal to solas's nature. to talk his way out. as is varric's way.

normally, i'd call tyr the kind of character (having played with him as an oc in various medias for oh... going on 2 years, is it? maybe 3? time's fake, different post) to also prefer talking his way out. but he doesn't believe solas will listen. so he rebukes varric's plan of just waltzing up and charming him with his babygirl eyes.

then at d'meta's crossing, he spares the mayor. not because he doesn't hear the concern that the greedy bastard will fall to said greed again, and not out of an entirely conscious mandate for live with the consequences of your actions, but... in hindsight with other choices, i'd argue it's... from at least a little of that kind of place.

he tries and fails to reason with the first warden. several times. in the heat of weisshaupt, and with the recent conversation with solas about whatever it takes on his mind, he ends up decking the man. the stakes are too high for risking the first warden staying on his high horse again if another attempt at reason fails, is the driver of the decision.

i'd chewed for a while on how that would seem to make tyr's commitment to "talking things through" indicated by that first choice in the bar inconsistent. it all seems justifiable at the time, and he didn't get to the place with the first warden he was out of intentional malice, but he still wound up there.

much of that is natural by the circumstances he was presented. by making calls with the information and under the conditions that were present at the time, as anyone, not just rook, would have to do under such circumstances, if they traded places. sure, some of it is also by solas's engineering of his conversations with rook. by setting them up to be a leader asked to make those hard calls. maybe even for arguably goading them a bit into a situation where whatever it takes was their only feasible option. which neve has a great comment on:

this is, i think, most directly about varric's death, but also, personally, i have to say is applicable for solas's intervention during blood of arlathan.

so, back to blorbo for a moment. tyr begins from a place that mistrusts solas's motives. the I'm quoting you here, "lies, treachery, and rebellion" kind of mistrust. and then, as things progress, as the team unveils more about solas's past in the crossroads and through the murals, it circles back to what I think motivated much of his comment to varric that talking with solas wouldn't work: that even if solas has any regret for what's happened, he's too stubborn to concede, too trapped by the mistakes of that past to ever admit fault, to hear himself sound like the 'gods' he claims to despise. tyr continues to take solas's advice into consideration the whole time, true, because it's... hard to discount the only potentially close to the problem kind of advice and knowledge they don't... exactly otherwise have themselves. he's not sure what the other shoe dropping in that equation is going to look like, but he's more convinced it'll happen than he is entirely happy with the situation.

the murals create... a hunch. or develop it. that rather than just being too prideful about the harm he'll cause by tearing down the veil, that solas is trapped in this plan by his regrets and guilt for actions of the past. at that point, tyr... has a better understanding about how they got to this point, but it kind of only solidifies his reservations that solas might actually be reasoned with.

the one moment this is changed, then, is during blood of arlathan. because frankly i think that was one of the worst experiences tyr has in the entire game. elgar'nan's influence in their minds, and an incident where they're trapped with no conceivable way out and potentially facing down an archdemon again, not so long after weisshaupt that the losses have stopped aching.

whatever his reasons or motivations and whatever else happens, solas saves their lives. tyr can't find a way around that one, and he's not even certain he wants to. because it's one of the definitive moments where he didn't have a plan, and he was terrified the tables had finally turned against them, and they'd fail.

it's not... trust. but tyr's also spent all this time working with his team on this concept that change shouldn't exactly be beyond anyone if there's a little effort put in. and whatever his own feelings are, varric wanted to believe in his old friend, and so does the inquisitor - both people he respects greatly, and he's constantly calculating their desire for a better outcome into the rubix cube that is trying to figure out how to stop the gods.

the problem then, is that solas all but instantly takes advantage of this... lapse. this faint relaxation of tyr's guard against his manipulations. that whole little incident with the fade after ghilan'nain's fall is all but immediately after, and its a betrayal nearly thrice or so over in rapid succession: that varric's been dead this whole time, that solas has manipulated him and how he feels responsibility for the team and the regrets that arise out of having to make hard choices, especially in times like these, and then on the other side of the fade, that solas has gone to minrathous, solas is playing "hero" about it all in tyr's and the shadow dragons' backyard. and to add salt to the wound, in minrathous, it's been blood magic all along.

and, y'know. solas says sorry, says he won't tear down the veil by his own hand, but hands rook the weapon to do it for him. sets them up again. so maybe that's more like... four or five times, depending on your count and categorization of it all.

and rook has a choice about all of this to make, a certain level of peace they have to make with it all to even get out of the fade. and how much to follow varric's advice about don't become what you hate - what you were fighting all along, or trapped by what you lost.

here's tyr's opinion that solas has more than likely been beyond reason because he's too far gone on his own path to even see that he's done exactly that: that he talks like elgar'nan's control, he's just dressing it up in a different way. that he's trapped by what he's lost and sacrificed and admitting that will be too much.

and here's tyr's inescapable bitterness of having been betrayed, of having spent so long trying to be careful with the god of trickery only to have danced right to his tune the whole time. a fiery emotional response for a threat to his home, to minrathous that he's tried very hard to protect and leave a smidgen better than he found it in this whole fight.

by circumstance... and by a little of solas's own design then, rook and solas confront the same trouble of what sacrifice being a leader demands. what cost is too high? how much is too much?

i had the pieces at that point for the ending with mythal, but now i had tyr bitter and a bit more resentful about solas - in a kind of pain about betrayal that was still asking why? about it rather than worried about if regret was present or meaningful. which is where this came from in my head akdfnas;dfnsadf

you're both thinking it. and the endings directly focus on whether or not solas succeeds in tearing down the veil, but the thematic part of it, to me, was... do rook and solas recognize where they might be held back? does tyr act on the pain and resentment of betrayal and swing blindly at solas as repayment? or is it bigger than both of them? is it about posing the question to solas about regret? how much is it like what drove solas to this point to act on that resentment? is it just retaliation? or did either of them learn anything from that prison in the fade?

and that's what makes the parallel, and it's what sets them apart.

and that's how, still, in the end, i have tyr who is willing to choose trying to reason one last time. for the sake of the advice of an old friend. for the people that brought them this far, the ones who chose to believe against the odds. and maybe, even, a little bit for himself. a choice against letting regret and resentment rule.

for the sake of it and because i couldn't get this game out of my head, i checked out the other endings, just to see, and i... think i like sticking with convincing him the best for both of them.

the trick with the dagger swap i think is the only other fitting course of action tyr might've taken from that point, and i think some of its elements reflect similar beats here about... learning from the past, if you will.

the accusation of likeness to the gods is still there. the banter about wits. i am a fool who finally met his match. one might argue that's for underestimating rook, which... fair enough, but i think... it also falls in line with solas's regrets, the appeal to be made to his nature, the... want, in the end, to be proven wrong. to find a 'better' way, as once he suggested to the inquisitor, and as mythal's release from debt and rook and the inquisitor's forgiveness, if you will, finally allows.

and that is... very satisfying to have said between them, when it's been on tyr's mind the whole time. and... they can both be proven wrong this way: for tyr, that solas wasn't beyond listening, and for solas, that there was another way.

for both of them that they could move on from what these trials have made of them, what they have done, and what they endured.

and man... man that was good. and so, so satisfying. it worked, veilguard. you sold me on these two as parallels to each other.

and that's just... one of many things in this game that gave me a lot of emotions, but this has already been. a helluva ramble, so if you've made it this far, congratulations and i salute you, lol.

i'm sure i'll do it all over again and have even more thoughts about even more rooks to throw around and chew on with this and what it'll reflect about each of them and that's. MMM. that's delicious. i loved this game. if my brain and time cooperates, i'm sure i'll have more thoughts and maybe even some writings for it in the future, we'll see where the blorbos take me. xD

[thessalian]

Thess vs Lack of Accessibility

Is it petty to just be, like, really really sad right now?

I came to Tumblr because of the Dragon Age fandom. I hadn't been in a fandom in so long, not after the first one, which ... look, getting into a fandom while having a nervous breakdown is a bad thing, okay? Especially when that fandom has named you a BNF for some reason and the responses end up going from "nagging daily to finish a fic" to "long essays shitting on everything you ever wrote" and you're a people-pleaser by nature. Just ... that on top of everything else is ... not recommended. You have no idea how phobic I was of the very idea of fandom. I literally flinch when the media in question comes up (though I have some very good friends because of that fandom and I would not be without them; just ... I will avoid that particular piece of media the same way I do anything overly zealously Christian and conversations about politics with my mother, and for the same reason - my sanity).

Anyway, point is that the Dragon Age fandom gave me back my love of and, more importantly, trust in fandoms. Sure, there's some toxic bullshit, but it isn't like that. Y'all have been so wonderful, and between how awesome the fandom is and how DA: O itself really helped me cope during a particularly dark time, for all I flag up its flaws, I'm always going to have a soft spot in my heart for this franchise.

So of course it makes me happy that everyone's finding something to love about Veilguard and spreading it all over Tumblr. Picking their blorbos and squeeing about Assan and all of that, and it's everywhere. And on one level, I'd love to join in. I'd like to start thinking about what my Rook would be like - which of my internal presets would I send after Solas first? What faction would a Molly be a part of? A Jessie? A Jallira?

...Just ... why, when I probably won't even be able to play it?

One of the reviews had the reviewer literally screw up a livestream by getting knocked over a cliff because her reflexes weren't up to it, and highlighted just how much you need those reflexes and that dodge to actually get through the game. And she couldn't manage. And she's not, as far as I'm aware, fucking disabled. I, on the other hand, am. And it doesn't sound like easy mode and accessibility options are going to get me out of "you have to constantly dodge-roll or experience Death By Cliff".

For most things, I can budget my spoons appropriately. If I want to go to a convention - a big one like MCM or a small one like Dragonmeet - I can plan my life accordingly. But that's a one-off. So is "I'm going to bake things", or "I'm going to make soup", or "I'm going to Borough Market". I can have rest breaks after these things. I can plan them for good days. Most of the time, I can cope with this. I hate it, but I can cope.

But ... I mean, how do you do that kind of thing for a video game that runs so many hours? Too many breaks and you lose the momentum - far too many abandoned playthroughs of BG3 have taught me that. Waiting for good days could have me waiting a week or more before I'm up to even touching it again. If it's not a bad pain day, it could still be a day where I'm having spasms, and believe me, I don't touch anything that requires precision when I'm having spasms ... but sometimes I don't know until I'm trying to do a thing, so I could end up dodge-rolling myself off a cliff if I go to the spasm place.

Thankfully, I'm not the sort of person who turns around and resents the people who are looking so forward to it when I can only sit here and dither over what I'm going to do about this whole mess. I'm glad people are enjoying the anticipation. Just seeing it makes me sad, and I don't want to block the tags because a) I still have some tiny shred of hope and b) that's too many tags.

I resent the fuck out of EA and Bioware, though. I get that they couldn't necessarily go back to DA:O's real-time-with-pause tactical structuring, but moving us to something that's ... probably closer to Kingdoms of Amalur than anything Souls-like but there's still an element of that latter ... anyway, it's a giant fuck-you to the disabled. I've had one of those before. I got chosen for the closed beta of Secret World: Legends when Funcom was making its changes to The Secret World. I was not alone in flagging up that everything from the reticle targeting to the particle effects to the random-roulette light-up stuff all over the UI was a massive trigger for vertigo and migraines. And we all got the same response: "This is what we're doing and we're not changing it; sucks to be you". And it really wasn't that much more polite than my paraphrase, either. (Which is another problem with Veilguard for me, because even that first gameplay trailer full of prologue gave me a migraine that lasted for like two days; part of it was the particle effects, part of it was the glowy redesigns of all the demons, but mostly it was the dodge-rolling making the camera bounce around like a fucking squash ball.)

I resent EA and Bioware for jumping so entirely on the ARPG train that even the best their accessibility options can do don't help. I also resent them for not giving us a fucking demo. I know that AAA games don't do that anymore, for some reason, but how the fuck am I supposed to know whether or not I can play it if I don't have a demo? Steam gives a two-hour return window, and adding the time taken in character creation plus the prologue, that doesn't give that much time to really get a feel for whether or not it's playable, especially not when it depends on the kind of day I'm having.

There are a lot of reasons I hate being disabled. I think most of them boil down to "the people who make accessibility a fucking nightmare". That thing about Borough Market, for example, where I'd have to take a fairly roundabout route to even get there because the most direct route is via a train station that has raised platforms and no elevators, and those stairs were a nightmare even before the cane. And of course, video games. Far too many video games. Including, it seems, the franchise that really got me back into video games in the first place, and one of the first things that really gave me joy after fleeing the abusive ex.

Fuck my life entirely.

[icescrabblerjerky]

Aaaand first playthrough finished. Very much enjoyed it, very attached to my Rook and already have some fic ideas (and the need for fanart). There were definitely major flaws but honestly, no more than in any of the other games of the franchise, and the flaws that were there were things that didn't bother me so much. More spoilery thoughts under the cut:

It felt a little like they were trying to answer every single question that previous games have raised and they did answer them... with basically the same answer. Dialogue felt rushed and cut off sometimes but no more than it does in DA2, some quests were more same-y than I would have liked but definitely no more than they were in Inquisition.

I saw some thoughts on the lack of fantasy racism and commentary on slavery and look, I get it, when the first three games of the franchise have been rife with it it feels weird for it just to have been magically solved but I actually felt relieved at the lack of it, possibly considering when I was playing it, although I also played as a human which isn't something I normally would do.

I haven't been spoiled on all the decisions and whether there were some things I could avoid. Major spoilers for endgame now I'm gonna do a few spaces in case you clicked through thinking they wouldn't be any major ones. I'm not gonna name names but if you really don't want to know about endgame stuff stop here.

The companion death hit very hard, but the fact that you could get them to Hero of the Veilguard SO QUICKLY in game makes me think you can't just swap them out when the time comes, which colours my romance choices for subsequent games. Endgame felt very much like Mass Effect 2 but I wasn't as traumatised by it because I knew I had everyone at max affection and it's telescoped WHO you should choose for what mission pretty clearly (which I don't think it was in ME2, although I was a baby Bioware player then so maybe I was just bad at it). I assume if you choose wrong in those end battles you CAN lose people, but as I said, it seems pretty straight forward who is best for what job.

I deffo saw the big twist coming a MILE off but I didn't mind, I really like that kind of thing.

Solas... well. I'm glad he stayed an asshole to the very end. Or very close to the very end in my case. I'm sure the Solavellan crowd are gonna be happy about it.

I romanced Emmrich and it was SO FUCKING SWEET. Him and my Rook are going to raise Manfred together and be happy ever after.

In any case, there will definitely be fic, and I'm inspired to finish up my Inquisition one so I can get all my blorbos to the points they need to be in Veilguard.

[selkiesoup]

It's a bit strange to see people coming for Erika Ishii for having the same instinctual, light-hearted reaction to Solas's very nuanced character as many of us also did??

That he's a sad, grieving man on an awful mission?? That I've seen called anything from "awful man, bastard man" (a la how you call a cat a bastard cat in the most loving way) to sad wolf blorbo to furry over the years?

And then in the same breath saying they've "ruined Bellara" before the game's even released? Erika isn't Bellara's VA? They're Rook.

I just-???

[stillness138]

As a companion post, i also redid my least favourite Gwent card art into a top 20, though i daresay a lot of the technical complaints are universal. I'll try not to be too mean.

Also under the cut.

My (but i am objectively correct) top 20 least favourite Gwent card arts:

They can't all be precious...

There's a certain amount of "why is she naked" or "why is she dead" or "why is she dead and naked" kinda art, but then Karol Bem rolled up and somehow made the card pool so much worse. At least Whoreson Jr. is technically impressive.

20: Ciaran aep Easnillen by Bryan Sola ...however i'm still allowed to not like it when my blorbos suffer on their card arts. Bryan is a great artist and i'm sure he didn't mean malice, unfortunately this is Ciaran's most memorable (read: literally only) scene. This is mostly personal bias.

19: Milva by Bartłomiej Gaweł To be nice! I like the tiled floor, that's a nice level of detail. I like her practical outfit in the spirit of the old minigame art, too. Heck, even the tragic irony of the scene wouldn't be so bad - she clearly shot before getting shot... If only this wasn't Milva's only card art for years and if she wasn't a well-explored book character with plenty of scenes to choose from. It could've been way worse too i guess.

18: Chapter of Wizards by Maciej Łaszkiewicz Listen. Maciej is a cool artist with a very distinct, also quite "classical painting" style. I like a lot of his pieces from the last card sets. But. Whose idea was to solve the question of representing a historically changing organization with a statue of its founders? Furthermore, who thought people are gonna be blown away by the in-game avatar this inevitably spawned? :D It's just funny more than anything. I guess I can appreciate the Lord of the Rings reference.

17: Mammuna, also by Maciej Łaszkiewicz This one is unfortunately not that funny. I'm not sure i can explain it; it's a Monsters card, offputting things are the name of the game. This is one of the artworks that definitely, or probably, fall under completely personal reactions, or at least i never heard loud complaints about it the same way say Coup de Grâce is widely considered one of the best Nilfgaard card arts. Maybe i don't like how the character design seems a bit random, maybe i'm tired of the tired witch=hooked nose trope, maybe it's the color scheme and weirdly unpleasant looking textures. I guess it's just very much not for me.

16: Selfeater by Alicja Użarowska Similar case as previously. I don't even mind a lot of gross art - the infamous Parasite (the parallels now that bg3 is out lol) isn't on this list - and the Monsters faction is there to go crazy with this type of stuff. And yet, i can't stand this little abomination, and neither can most of the Gwent playerbase. It's not even the toe-in-mouth that really makes it bad, at least for me it's the texture and stretching of its skin. It simultaneously looks like it's melting and about to tear apart. Just an overall no thanks.

15: Miner by Christof Grobelski Christof is my new, excuse the zoomer language, pogchamp, because i think he is severely underrated given the crazy impressive lengths he went into with card art like Vivaldi Bank and even Phooca, and Miner isn't really bad. Unfortunately, fear of depths.

14: Doppler by Bartłomiej Gaweł Bartłomiej loves himself some dirt and mud and wet beast wednesday, and i can appreciate that. But this one isn't it. The palette, the scene. This, beside Dudu's card art, is the only way dopplers are represented in the game, and that's a shame. Leave the poor soul alone :(.

13: Brehen by Oleksandr Kozachenko I'm sorry to say, this is the weakest Way of the Witcher art. I appreciate it's the one scene everyone knows Brehen for, but why must he look like the village lowlife parents tell you not to talk to? I mean, not that Brehen could be trusted with kids. He's despicable, but that doesn't need to be communicated by making him look unappealing. On the other hand, wouldn't his personality have more impact if he was comparatively good looking? Or maybe i'm a shallow bitch who'd rather some eye candy... To give some credit to the character design though, the fact the lady is wearing the opposite of revealing clothes is a welcome refreshment. And i quite like the shading on her clothes too.

12: War Chariot by Grafit Studio There are a couple of more fairytale-like, bright and whimsical card arts, and there are arts with smoother, almost glossy textures, neither is really my issue with this. What rubs me the wrong way is the scene itself. It comes off as showing the elves as something grotesque, the butt of a joke, and, sure, this is a Northern Realms card, but it still feels... unserious in the wrong way. Admittedly i am biased.

11: Toad Prince by Marek Madej It's again a matter of personal taste in the Monsters faction, because in essence, everything i don't like about it can really be justified by having the red faction sticker. But he still looks like a formless mass of vaguely green snot to me. And his comparably thin little arms look like he's wearing long sleeves that also got covered in green snot. Which, admittedly, was the case for the whole sewer in Hearts of Stone, so who am i to complain. It's far from the worst, maybe it shouldn't be this high on the list, at least this piece mostly fades into obscurity and Marek is an actually skilled artist. I'm saying this because Bem's time draws near.

10: Vilgefortz by Nemanja Stankovic Full personal bias. Technically very much fine between the different textures, little drama in the lighting and fire particles borrowed from Bryan Sola. Look at the crazed look in Vilgefortz's face, lore accurate. Then look at the gloves of the guy he's melting into paste. And then suffer with me.

9: King Radovid V by Nemanja Stankovic and Radovid: Judgment by Valeriy Vegera Ok, this is a special case. I'm lumping them together because my issue with them is the same; their metatext. CDPR has a very obvious boner for Radko and despite writing him to be a complete cringefail idiot, they keep pretending like he's the coolest mf this side of Yaruga. If they actually allowed him to be the 17yo grooming victim he is with some nuance and without the thinly veiled nationalism projected onto the worst possible candidate with no self-reflection, i'd hate his ass (at leas the Gwent one) a lot less. Also the second art is the stupidest decision in the last card drop. Calanthe died for this. Literally.

8: Saov Ainmhi'dh by Ivan Vilmant Price of Power's infamous outsourcing of card art led to this unfortunate letdown. The artist tried! You can tell. But, in a spark of bitter irony, the spectral deer ended up looking as plastic as the Hobbit movies it references.

7: Temple of Melitele by Karol Bem This should be higher and would be if i didn't have to go through some more "please don't do this, good artist". But trust, this is one of Karol's worst crimes against good card art. From afar it looks alright! Cute piece with maybe even a bit of an old postcard vibe. Then you look closer and it falls apart completely. From the top; some roofs have texture, some don't. Some windows and arches don't line up or have ever so slightly off perspective. In places that are unexplainably sharper or blurrier than others, it's apparent Karol used extra assets. And on the very left, the foliage just sort of blends in until it disappears, because Karol doesn't understand depth. As a cherry on top, check out the little wooden bridge making no sense. The more and closer one looks, the more of a mess it is. Karol, you bloody hack.

6: Savvy Huckster by Siarhei Hlushakou This one, surprisingly enough, is more bearable upon closer inspection, but something about it used to absolutely grate my nerves when i still played or watched the game somewhat regularly. I don't know if it's the odd use of its color palette, the kind of obsolete idea of a card to begin with or the weird rocks on the tray unpleasantly standing out, or all of the above, but i can't stand looking at it for too long. But again. At least the artist actually painted something. Right, Karol?

5: Kerack Cutthroat by Valeriy Vegera Technically alright, if only too dark and washed up. Then again, the scene itself is tired too. The "why is she naked and dying?" And actually, taking the premium into account, why must she be getting stabbed over and over infinitely? Y'all didn't think this one through, did you. I'm sorry Valeriy, i still love your art, but this one really wasn't it on pretty much any front. But, even for this one, like every other legitimate artist on this list, you get the honorary "not a hack" badge.

4: Saint Gregory and Rosa and Edna var Attre by Karol Bem These two don't necessarily have all the same issues, but i guess there isn't enough slots in the universe to describe Karol's astonishingly low levels of competence. St. Gregory suffers from Karol's lack of depth understanding, but moreso it's a good example of that thing he does where he applies atrocious amounts of noise or grain onto everything. Enlarge and look at the area of and around the center left guy in the forefront. I'm also really not a fan of the magic fire glow this thing has. Rosa and Edna deserved so much better. To get the carelessness out of the way, check out Rosa's thumb in the foreground. What. Both their faces are inhumanly smooth, someone said they might be 3D models painted over and i wouldn't be surprised. Even in such a detail as the texture of the wooden sword you can kind of tell Karol relies on outsourced assets and thelike a lot; he doesn't have that much of a personal style (other than the awful grain) so when a unique texture shows up, it's probably safe to assume he pasted it in. To top it all off, the lighting of this piece is atrocious.

3: Yaga by Bogdan Rezunenko and Lesser Witch by Karol Bem Fatphobia. Just don't. That's to Bogdan. You, Karol, quit trying to fit in with the cooler kids, and by that i mean you should've long since quit making Gwent art by the time this unfortunately saw the light of day. I did promise i'll try not to be too mean, but there really isn't much to say about these two. Bogdan is a capable artist who should maybe check his biases or maybe just think about whether the way too estabilished visual shorthands for evil are faulty (they are). Karol Bem wouldn't know believable illusion of perspective and good texturing if they smacked him across the face.

2: Artaud Terranova by Katarzyna Bekus Molegion actually tried to explain this one to me. And, sure, having terrible characters with terrible traits represented by doing terrible things is fine on paper. For once we got a book scene, too (god why are most of the book scenes in Gwent all the painful stuff), that's cool. Making the canon pedo fat, i think less so. It's otherwise technically a good artwork with merits, i like Ciri's hair, the textures in the columns and the color palette. The pose, as much as i hate it, makes anatomical sense (this will become relevant in a short bit). But i can't get over how in the premium Ciri has to wriggle around waiting for Geralt who just won't show up. In the end, did Terranova have to exist in Gwent at all? Since this was in the Thanedd drop, why not a Nilfgaard Isengrim card? That would've been cool. He actually has a few usable book scenes.

"Honorable" mention: Little Bird by Karol Bem Karol's worst tendencies: the card. A pile of assets, none of which are fitted, or in the case of the stuff hanging from the ceiling, even cropped well. Misunderstanding of depth, the hanging herbs are blurry but the guys under them are sharp, the items in the foreground are blurry again but way too much. Strands of the girl's hair straight up cut off in the middle and then resume again. And, of course, a noise effect to try to cover it all up. I swear to god Karol.

1: Vereena by, of course, Karol Bem I hate to hate it. Because it could've been another book-adjacent scene and the color scheme is actually a rare moment of brightness for Karol, because usually, Vereena is put in colder tones. But unfortunately, he bungled this one in a whole new kind of spectacular fashion. The leg. The leg is very obviously, undeniably, comically, anatomically...incorrect. The rest of her isn't very good either, the front hand looks awkward, her neck and shoulders aren't properly built. The foot is too small. Even the hair is made in a way that makes it look like a weirdly solid mass. The drapery doesn't make sense in the waist area. On a vibe or depicted scene level, there are probably pieces i loathe more than this one, but as an artist and a person with legs, the painfully obvious anatomy issue of this one earns it the title of worst Gwent art in my book. Karol Bem is a hack, which is why this happened at all. I'm willing to believe he's not a malicious person either, but he should probably stop seeking work in a field he clearly has to fake his way through. Perhaps he'd make a better graphic designer?

To add something more positive at the end of this list as a whole, Gwent has a card pool of, i believe, a little over a thousand and a couple hundred, and the strong majority of it are incredibly stunning works of art. The overall quality is of its own kind, and it's much easier to choose 20 amazing and impactful pieces than find 20 that are bad enough to be ripped apart online. The existence of premiums is cool, but the static art on its own is some of the best modern fantasy art to be found. That's really heckin cool for an obscure game set in a relatively obscure universe.

[delicatefade]

For the Love Your Fandom Asks 1, 9 and 24!

1. list 3 positive things about your current fandom(s)

- All the OCs! I have heard through the tumblr rumblings that not all fandoms love OCs? The nature of dragon age is such that OCs are baked in and people go wild. YES! MORE OCS. MAKE THE OCS KISS!

- The deep head canons in various, under explored corners of the game. People out there writing entire long fics in Avvar country! People writing dwarf dynasties and long-running Chantry dramas. YES! MORE!

- The size? Is that valid? It's JUST big enough where there is a steady stream of fanfic and fan art and engaged fandom members, but not SO BIG that it's an overwhelming sea of noise and you're drowning in it and can't be like, known in tumblr and discord server communities.

9. a ship that isn't your OTP but that you enjoy

Warden/Alistair which I explained in this post.

24. how has fandom positively impacted your life?

I had been in a fantasy text-based RPG for a long, long time. It grew increasingly toxic over the years and I had finally had it. I quit in early 2021. But I missed the writing. Fast forward to Jan 2022 and I am writing my first Dragon Age fanfic. I had written fanfic before but had forgotten how much fun it can be to just play with the blorbos in your head. It nicely filled in the writing void the game left behind, and it's a lot less toxic! Downright wholesome.

Also I've made new and real friends! Two fandom friends I made in early early 2022 are now coming to my wedding this June irl. YOU SEE? WHOLESOME AF.

Since I was already asked #9 I'll answer #2 as a bonus.

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!

"Solas was a spirit that Mythal bound to an elven body" as in, he was never born in the typical sense. At first I was like "pfft" but then I was like "oh ho ho ho? Cole saying cryptic shit? Yes? Hello?" and now it is in a WIP as a FACT for me. I think it's decently supported but as with all cryptic shit Cole says, you never know 100%. Who cares. I like it. insert marge-simpson-I-think-it's-neat meme.

[transfenris-truther]

Dragon age inquisition blorbos!

Thanks for the ask! I don't actually talk about characters I dislike much, so if you're a fan of the characters I don't like, I'm sorry. Know that I think that's completely valid. Inquisition had some polarizing chacters in it and that's part of the fun.

Blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Genuinely hard to answer. Probably Dorian, but he only SLIGHTLY edges out Iron Bull.

Scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) Dagna is delightful in every iteration. But so is Scout Harding. There's a history there with Dagna though, like every time I look at her I'm like, I paid your tuition and I'd do it again.

Scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) Okay, so people will say she's not underappreciated but she DEFINITELY is. Vivienne is one of the best characters in Dragon Age hands down and the whole fandom sleeps on her because she's unromancable, a woman and Black. Yeah she's pro-circle... Kinda? But she's literally the only person making pro-circle arguments that actually make sense. She's trying to draw attention to problems that a lot of the people in the rebellion haven't thought about. People are so willing to cut literal Templars slack over their circle opinions, but God forbid Vivienne speak about her own experiences as a mage. And when fandom isn't treating her with a double standard and being overly critical, they just write her out. It sucks.

Glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) Honestly, Josephine's sister Yvette. I love that she basically came to Halamshiral to get the hot gossip and roast her sister. Yvette lives a life of pure joy and she deserves it.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) Sera! There's definitely parts of fandom that appreciate her, but mostly people hate that she has internalized racism even though it completely makes sense for her character and it's a real thing that people struggle with. People nitpick all sorts of stuff about her. They hate her voice and hair and plaid weave. I don't think so. Sera is an anarchist icon and she can have all the bees her deranged little heart desires.

Horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) Cullen. I simply don't like him. He has cop energy. I didn't like him as a random noodle hair in Dragon Age Origins and absolutely nothing has changed since then.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) I am hoping the plot of DA4 will involve sending Solas to superhell.

[mycenaae]

tell me about your mash and dragon age blorbos

my time has come...

send me a fandom and i’ll tell you:

MASH:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): hawkeye, absolutely hands down. the blorbo of all blorbos although a close runner-up is bj simply because so many of the shitposts on this website get at the core of his psyche.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): RADAR... i see him i simply want to squish his little cheeks and tuck him in at night.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): margaret isn't underrated or underappreciated by the fandom but she IS both by the men she works with and i think that counts. i also think klinger deserves all the love in the world and i am full of love anytime he is on screen.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): NURSE KELLYE MY BELOVED

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): objectively hawkeye is the poorest little meow meow in all the world but i think henry also fits this category. yes he cheats on his wife yes he's weird to the nurses but he's so pathetic about it that it's just like. aw! he's so sad!

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): charles but also bj just to turn the tables back on them both.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): frank, although i think his personal superhell was living in the swamp, so.

DRAGON AGE:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): fenris all day every day i am thinking about fenris from my dragon age

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): merrill......... i know she did blood magic and demon crimes but my god i would die for her any day of the week and anytime she says anything i am sitting there watching her and crying. cole also makes me feel this way.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): i really like dagna!!! what a weird little lady, i'm glad they let her be in dai and as unhinged about weird magic shit as she deserves to be.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): ORANA........... god i love her. i want to know her inner life. is she okay after kirkwall. does she know that i love her.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): again i know anders is objectively the poor little meow meow of all time but i think actually it's alistair who wins this one for me. he is just so sad and trying so hard all the time that he gets a pass for being essentially just the template bioware love interest in plate armor. i think zevran can fit here too; sure he does murders but he's MY poor little meow meow

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): solas. i want to see that egg crack.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): anders and sebastian which means i'd just put them in a room with each other

[howyouducan]

Since I have idle time on my hands due to delays in starting a Baldur's Gate 3 playthrough, I will answer these unasked prompts for all three Dragon Age games + Awakening. One day, I'll probably do the same for BG.

blorbo

Cole. Let me separate my love for him into categories: his visual design, his conceptual design, and his personality. My first impression of Cole (the version where he shows up to warn you of Corypheus) was: "??? Creepy-moving, scarecrow guy???" [affectionate] because I love creepy characters. His scraggly outfit is so unlike the others', and his features (esp. his pale, raccoon eyes) put him on my favorites radar alone. Conceptually, a spirit who is also a rogue is freaking awesome, and the mind-reading makes everything he says about the other companions interesting. And I could talk about his personality for hours, but to put it short: I like that he is not perfect, that he is complex and a bit of a mess. He is aware of his own failings, and ironically, unlike how some of the fandom treats him, he never sugarcoats anything. He sees things for what they are, in the moment, and although that sometimes puts him in a bit of a black-and-white mindset, I think that's very important to his character. I also love his awkwardness, his contrasting selfless and selfish tendencies and some of the hypocrisy therein (example: his kindness in reading minds without judgement to help people, versus also wanting to conceal everything about himself to avoid social awkwardness / the dreaded consequences), and I love how Patrick Weekes handled the gentle side of his nature.

scrunkly

Solas actually lmfao. Completely nonromantically. I love it when calm, logical characters say heartwarming things, and Solas does this surprisingly often in banter. His insight shows great care; he fully appreciates and respects the topics he loves.

scrimblo bimblo

Justice from Awakening, since he is hardly in DA2. He is observant, intelligent, sympathetic, and is a true portait of what justice really is. You would expect a personification of justice to be cold, merciless, too driven and focused on their goal to be caring, like Vhailor from Planescape: Torment. Justice of DA:A is the opposite. He always makes sure that the people he is fighting for are the right ones, he always picks the underdogs and the downtrodden and the helpless. He is lawful good, even having a banter where he remarks that he likes that the mortal realm is unchanging, ruled by order. But when his ideals clash, good always comes before law. And that's how he ended up with Anders, running an illegal clinic in a sewer.

glup shitto

Slim Couldry? That man who gives rogue Wardens quests to steal from nobility. Ever since I found out that he's half-elven and using his human-passing invisibility to both stick it to nobles and provide for the alienage, I've loved him. Also Wade and Herren, who are definitely my 1# Dragon Age gays.

poor little meow meow

Hmm... Personally I think Anders is only "controversial" (in-game, not his writing irl) in his Chantry beliefs of spirits and demons. So this isn't his spot. Instead... Zevran, I think. A surprising number of players put him to the side because they think he's shallow, and he is most certainly not, oh boy. I think his dialogue at camp is exquisite, especially the nuance with which he handles his past of abuse. He's also controversial in that he enjoys killing. While some players don't mind or enjoy characters with this trait (and that's great), I personally usually don't. Zevran remains one of my favorites, however, because he has many, many other virtues. Also, he is an assassin, so it's understandable.

horse plinko

Torment for fun? I'd say Vivienne, except she wouldn't have good reactions. Sebastien Vael, then. He'd be hilarious to torment

eeby deeby

Sera, and I've made many posts that will explain why, both on howyouducan and on my main, philalethistry. I just... cannot stand the way she was written. I never use her because she makes the game unenjoyable for me. Never had a fictional character I've been so bothered by before, but there ya go. And on a chaotic, noble-hating, fun-loving rogue too. It was an immense disappoint for me.

Send me a fandom and I’ll tell you my:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)