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theentireratchetandclankfandom · 2 years ago

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Survive the Night...(Ratchet/Alister Version)

"And I'll be back tomorrow. I promise."

(You've found the Ratchet/Alister version! Or perhaps you haven't seen the gen version of this fic and you have no idea what I'm talking about. Either way, keep on reading and please enjoy! Also I'm so sorry if the editing is weird, this new post editor is kinda confusing.)

Hello hello, I have returned to the RaC tag with more fics for your soul and no one's gonna stop me.

This one is a sick fic that I wrote an au prompt for six (6!) years ago and I've always just wanted to see it become a fanfic. So I did it! And I made two versions of it! A gen one (here!) and a shippy, Ratchet/Alister version (this one!) You're welcome to read one or the other or both! Or you can read it on AO3 here!

Reblogs are appreciated and helps get this fic out there for everyone to enjoy!

(-[-]- is a page break)

(~~ is the start and finish of a dream sequence)

“Come on Ratchet, how many times has Alister shown you already? It shouldn’t be this hard to find Lunaris by yourself...”

Ratchet shifted the star map in his lap once again and sighed in frustration. He was never one for stargazing, he left that behind when he was finally able to leave Veldin. For Ratchet, stargazing was looking to the night sky and dreaming about finally getting off his home planet after eighteen long years and speeding across the Solana Galaxy in his own ship, finally free to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Not looking at one spot for the past half hour, unblinking, trying desperately to find a constellation Alister Azimuth could point out in his sleep. Which said Lombax was sorely lacking. But here he was, doing just that, hoping to learn a fraction of the celestial mapping the general knew.

Maybe the stars were just located somewhere else on Lumos. This wasn’t Torren IV after all. Bodies of stars looked different on each planet, their location moving as they moved. Where one constellation could be located ninety degrees left of Torren IV’s moon, on Lumos...well Ratchet didn’t exactly know. Or maybe he was just exhausted and all the tiny little balls of dust and gas just looked like balls of dust and gas and nothing more. It was slightly frustrating.

But Ratchet couldn’t deny that he was hooked learning about the different constellations in Lombax lore. And Azimuth was all too happy to prattle on to his audience of one of the stories behind each one of them and always put a special emphasis on his favourite, Lunaris. He never left anything out for her story, every detail was important, even the smallest one.

And Ratchet was all too happy to listen to the same tale every night. Watching Azimuth’s animated movements, the brightest smile on his face that could rival the very stars he talked about, and the way his red eyes shown brighter.

He just seemed more...alive. Happier. Younger. Breathtaking. And Ratchet wanted to drink in every minute of it.

Except this night.

This night, Azimuth was off helping the Vullards with a particularly nasty infestation of Tyhrranoids in one of their factories; only at the behest of Ratchet. And he made sure to let everyone know he was not doing this out of his own good will.

No Azimuth meant no star mapping tonight. Which meant Ratchet was on his own. It was no problem, Ratchet wanted Azimuth to help with clearing out the infestation. It would tire the older Lombax out and maybe he could finally get some sleep instead of dealing with yet another bought of insomnia.

Can’t go to sleep without him though. He wouldn’t be able to make his way into Aphelion without Ratchet. And...

Ratchet blushed. Losing himself in the stars thinking of the rare nights Azimuth sought out affection from Ratchet. Chaste kisses and fingers dancing through pale chest fur...

He shook his head, trying to clear away the thoughts. Now wasn’t the time for that.

“Just...a little longer. Let’s try and find Sigma instead.”

-[-]-

When Ratchet had landed on Torren IV and made his way through Volgrom Pass, the Vullards felt that the “Dangerous Rebel” of the Molonoth Fields was reigned in and pacified, and so felt it safe to approach the older Lombax with various requests and grievances. At first, Azimuth would frighten off anyone who tried to reach Volgrom Pass to ask anything of him before they could even get the chance to be shot down. And every time Ratchet would ask why the other Lombax didn’t stop to lend an ear. “I don’t owe anyone anything apart from you. I keep Nefarious’ troops away from this planet and that’s enough.” Azimuth would always reply.

It just never sat right with Ratchet.

The Vullards had let him stay on their planet after he was exiled and take up a sizable portion of land. It was only right to pay them back in any small way.

The younger Lombax spent an entire month trying to coax Azimuth into not scaring away those who came to ask for his help. The general had a stubborn streak as wide as mile, but Ratchet had an overabundance of patience (thanks to Qwark.)

He figured looking a little of his father helped too.

He rode out the quarrels, aggressive training, and days long silent treatments to Azimuth finally giving in and agreeing to help the Vullards on the condition that Ratchet learned how to read and map out the stars.

“Every Lombax is taught from a young age, and if you’re making me work for these Vullards, I’m going to make you learn every night to earn your supper.” And that was fine with Ratchet (anything to stop feeling awkward about mooching off the Vullards.)

And so, every night Ratchet studied. The nights where Azimuth wasn’t busy helping the Vullards, he gleaned every bit of information he could about star mapping and Lombax lore from the other. It was hard work, but the things he learned about Lombax history and Azimuth himself were absolutely worth it.

Just seeing the man light up. It was so attractive.

And getting Azimuth to earn his keep was worth the strenuous and extra aggressive training Ratchet was put through during the daylight hours. It ensured the older Lombax was knocked out after a mapping lesson. Too many nights of insomnia made the man cranky, and a cranky Azimuth was not a joy to be around.

Some days were worth a little bit of a cranky Azimuth. Because when night fell, it was one of those rare nights he wanted attention.

From Ratchet or from Kaden? The younger Lombax didn’t have an answer to that.

And he didn’t know if he particularly wanted one.

-[-]-

Ratchet gripped the wall behind him and rubbed his aching sternum, victim of a particularly hard jab from the other’s Praetorian wrench. Today was one of the days Azimuth seemed particularly upset. At what? Ratchet couldn’t tell. He couldn’t read the other man’s face at all today, and he was usually an open book (to Ratchet anyway.) He got up anyway, ready to face whatever aggression Azimuth wanted to get out. Imagine his surprise when the other Lombax heaved a heavy sigh, dropping his offensive stance.

Ratchet took that as his signal to approach Azimuth. He looked hard at the other as he drove his Praetorian wrench into the ground. Now that they weren’t sparing, Ratchet noticed the general’s face looked exhausted, the dark circles under his eyes looked more pronounced, if that was even possible.

“Azimuth, you okay?” Ratchet was sure the other had been getting sleep these past couple of days. He saw Azimuth fall asleep long before he did most nights.

Azimuth looked up at the younger Lombax as he ungracefully sat himself on the ground. “Just a little tired my boy. Come, take a break and sit.” He patted the grass next to him. Ratchet walked over, taking a chance to quickly caress the other’s face, knowing the other wasn’t a fan of physical affection outside of Aphelion. But he felt like Azimuth needed this. He smiled when the Lombax automatically leaned into the touch before batting Ratchet’s hand away.

“I apologize for hitting so hard,” Azimuth sighed, wrapping an arm around Ratchet’s shoulder as soon as the other sat down. “It’s unfortunately a bit too easy to forget myself during these sparring sessions.”

This was a surprise, having the older Lombax initiate affection first. The younger Lombax hummed, feeling the other sag against him, and using the opportunity to peek up at Azimuth’s face.

He had his eyes closed; cheek pressed up against Ratchet’s temple and Ratchet could see the weariness in the other’s face, the shadows under his eyes. The general was decidedly not getting any sleep. Ratchet pulled away from the Lombax peacefully snoozing away on top of him, ignoring the frustrated grunt, and dug in the satchel they brought for some water.

“Here,” Ratchet forced the water bottle into the other’s hand. Azimuth gladly took it, chugging it like it was made of raritanium. “So...what kept you up this time?” He felt Azimuth slowly take his arm from around Ratchet’s shoulder and Ratchet fixed him with a pointed look.

“Ah it's just the usual bought of restlessness.” Ratchet crossed his arms. “How could you even tell?”

“You’re never this...I don’t know what to call it, but I can’t even touch you unless we’re in Aphelion. You only get like this when you’re running on an hour, at most, of sleep. What’s the deal Azimuth? I thought helping out the Vullards was wearing you out?”

“And they are! Gods are they wearing me out...” Azimuth growled. He let out a weary sigh, frustratingly running a hand through the fur on top of his head. “But a restless mind barely knows any sleep...”

Ratchet stared off into the deep blue sky of Lumos as Azimuth continued to drink; the general did have a mind that ran a mile a minute, but he wasn’t aware it was interfering with his sleep so badly. Was it always like this, before Ratchet found him? He was sure he saw the other Lombax sleeping so peacefully the first few days after their encounter.

Maybe the stress of what he wanted and what Ratchet was asking of him was taking its toll.

He looked back at Azimuth. He had sat back, face towards the sun and eyes closed. The soft rise and fall of his shoulders..was he sleeping? Ratchet inched closer to him; Azimuth was definitely sleeping. Finally.

Did Kaden have this much trouble getting Azimuth to relax? What else could he do for the Lombax that his father couldn’t? Or didn’t do already?

He sighed. Getting the other Lombax to just rest was harder than saving the galaxy at this point. It was heartbreaking.

But this moment was a great opportunity to grab lunch at Galaxy Burger. And Azimuth would appreciate a greasy lunch once in a blue moon...right? Well, Ratchet thought he did. And that Betelgeuse Slushie was calling his name.

“Get some rest Alister, I’ll be back before you even know it.”

He scrambled up and grabbed the empty water bottle, making his way to the planet’s landing pad and Aphelion. A quick trip to the Phylax Sector and he’d be back before he was missed.

“You STILL haven’t fixed it Al?! The competition is in two hours!”

“Well, this would certainly go a lot faster if SOMEONE would lend a hand!”

“But you’re better with those tiny little wires than I am! That’s why I left it to you!”

Alister gave his friend a withering look as the other lay there with a self-satisfied grin. They were currently in the Solana galaxy, trying to prepare for the hoverboard races. During one particularly intense training run, Kaden’s board suddenly malfunctioned, throwing the Lombax off a steep incline and into the murky waters of Rilgar. Everyone was thankful the Lurker Sharks swimming along the track were fished out the week before or Alister would’ve had to go back to Fastoon with a damn good explanation as to why his partner was bleeding all over his ship and missing his left leg.

Kaden was currently still wet and laughing about the entire thing, while Alister was stuck fixing his board. Lombax technology was unique, so not a lot of people knew the ins and outs of fixing it, so the Lombaxes were on their own trying to get it up and running again. He just wished Kaden was as good at fixing these little things as he was. This would go so much faster and they’d have more time to get in more practice.

“Hey, Al?”

“What NOW Kaden? Every time you try and start a conversation, we waste time. Do you want this board fixed or not?”

“Sorry sorry! It’s just...don’t you think it's time to wake up?” Kaden asked, starting to rap his fingers on the ground.

The question took Alister by surprise. What in the world was that supposed to mean?

“Kaden what-are you high? I told you that you can’t get into the Praetorian Guard taking those damn poyoball pills. And WHY are you tapping the ground like that its IRRITATING!” Alister growled. Was his friend just determined to piss him off before this race? He had no problem leaving him to flounder in this race if that was the way he was choosing to behave just an hour before they had to work together.

“But Alister...don’t you think it's time to wake up?” Kaden asked again, still tapping the ground. Alister felt a shiver run down his spine as the other Lombax stared at him, but also not? It looked like Kaden was staring straight into his soul. This was getting weird.

“Azimuth. Wake up.”

Still tapping.

“Wha-Kaden what..? Wake up?”

Stop tapping.

“Wake up! It’s time to wake up!”

Stop. Tapping.

“Wake up!”

Alister growled and snatched Kaden off the floor by his shirt. His ears twitched at tapping that STILL continued. This was creepy and irritating.

“Kaden, I have had ENOUGH. KNOCK IT OFF!” He yelled. That infernal tapping! “Why are you trying to drive me up a damn wall?! I thought you loved me?!”

Kaden just smiled, still tapping the floor. “Cause I miss you! It’s time to wake up!”

‘Cause I miss you.’

Wait-

Blue skies. The humidity...it was just a dream.

He took in a shaky breath, felt the grass underneath him, the breeze. Was it a dream?

A shadow loomed over him. Everything in him tensed. Was that...?

“Alister, you’re awake! Do you know how hard it is to wake you up? Your communicator has been going off since I got back.”

‘Got back..’ Azimuth mouthed. He felt something tapping against his side..”K-Ratchet?” What was that tapping? His communicator. That was the infernal tapping that was echoing in his dream. It was vibrating with a message.

“In the flesh! I got us some lunch; I don’t know if you like Galaxy Burger...” Ratchet left Azimuth’s small field of view, shuffling around in what he assumed were bags of food. His tensed muscles slowly relaxed, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. It was a dream, or maybe it was a nightmare.

He sat up, wresting his communicator from his side and silencing it without looking. Whatever it was could wait. His mouth felt drier than the grass he was sat upon. Where was that-

“Water?” Ratchet. The real Ratchet. Not a phantom in a dream. Offering him what he clearly needed right now. Azimuth took it gratefully, giving the other a searching glance.

“Didn’t tell me you could read minds.” Azimuth joked.

Ratchet laughed. It was so light and airy. So unlike Kaden’s deep one. It was nice.

“You just looked like you needed it.” Ratchet answered around a mouth full of fries. “Was it a nightmare?”

Azimuth forgot Ratchet was aware that nightmares plagued him sometimes; one of the causes of his insomnia, robbing him of sleep and disturbing what should be a peaceful night. But..

“Just an old memory. Nothing to worry yourself over.”

Ratchet didn’t need to know it was a memory twisted into a nightmare. The younger Lombax already worried so much about him, adding more to his plate just seemed cruel.

Azimuth dug into Ratchet’s fries, laughing as he tried to swat the elder away and to his own food.

“So, who was trying to contact you?”

Azimuth huffed, angrily tearing into his burger and instantly regretting it. The thing was a greasy disaster. He wouldn’t be surprised if this gave him heartburn in an hour. The general was hoping Ratchet would forget about that.

“No one, just spam calls.”

Ratchet shot Azimuth a look, while the elder made it a point to stare into the blackest soda he’d ever seen.

“Really?” Ratchet drawled, chuckling as a shiver ran up Azimuth’s spine as he tried to drink the sugary sweet drink. “I could’ve sworn you told me people thought you were dead, so you don’t get those kinds of calls.”

“Ugh,” Azimuth sneered at Ratchet’s grin, he could never hide anything from that boy. But he admired that about him. Quick-witted and just as sharp as his wrench.

And that damnable bright smile. Kaden’s couldn’t even compare.

He pulled his communicator back out, checked the message that was left and rolled his eyes. “It was just the Vullards with yet ANOTHER request. They can deal with it themselves.”

The other Lombax rounded his shoulders and Ratchet could tell he was done with the conversation. But Ratchet wasn’t. Azimuth declined many requests for help over the month, and Ratchet had let it slide, enjoying the small reprise with the elder Lombax.

He felt bad for ignoring the responsibilities the two of them had. But the opportunity to get to know another Lombax, learn from him, everything he yearned for...the pull was too great. But while they waited for leads and for armies to get off their backs, they grew too complacent in each other’s company and too comfortable in each other’s arms.

He knew he couldn’t stay in the little world they built forever. Especially Alister.

“I think you should go.”

Azimuth froze mid-bite of his burger and frowned. “No.”

“Why not? We’ve been stuck here for weeks and I can tell you’re getting anxious.” And in danger of going stir-crazy. “Maybe it would do you some good to get off planet and talk to people who aren’t me!” ‘And the ghosts haunting your dreams whenever you manage to get some sleep.’ Some things were better left unsaid.

“No, I do not! I don’t need other people!” Azimuth scoffed. “I have you, and you are enough!” He got up, tossing his burger to the side.

“We are DONE with this conversation, Ratchet. I don’t want to hear-”

“NO, WE’RE NOT.” Ratchet scrambled up too, quickly placing himself in front of the other Lombax. He glared up at Azimuth, throwing the elder off and making him step back.

“It is not enough Azimuth! Before me you had no one and you even told me that wasn’t okay and unhealthy-”

“But that was-”

“But nothing! Alister, you need to go. Now.”

Ratchet didn’t realize what he said until it was too late, but he stood his ground. Azimuth NEEDED this, no matter how much he fought back against it. Ratchet barely registered the other Lombax suddenly growling and baring his fangs. He yelped when Azimuth grabbed him by his collar and pulled him closer. This...was the closet Ratchet had ever been to the older Lombax while they were both awake. For the second time today.

His eyes. They were still so exhausted.

It looked like the bags under his eyes had bags. Frown lines and old battle scars marred his rugged face but the shadows that always seemed to linger under his eyes looked a lot lighter this close up. He was still handsome, despite all of his flaws. He shouldn’t be so attracted to this man, especially with his temper. But yet...

“How dare you? I-”

Well, there was no time like the present to get even closer. “Please...” Ratchet took a chance, reaching out and gently grabbing Azimuth’s face. The most intimate physical contact they’d ever had outside of Aphelion for the third time today. A record. “...Alister...” He didn’t miss the Lombax’s eyes widening at the use of his first name.

Ratchet wasn’t sure Azimuth was aware of how close they were earlier in the day. The man struggled with physical contact on any level other than a friendly spar. Seeing him flinch as if he was struck, it was abnormal.

Ratchet held Azimuth’s gaze. It was a sea of emotion behind his eyes and it looked a little duller. “Just do it for me, okay?” Ratchet wondered if those blood red eyes saw Ratchet or Kaden.

Was it okay, manipulating the other like this, just because Ratchet knew Azimuth would do anything for Kaden?

He felt his hand being squeezed back and his feet touch the earth again. Ratchet stumbled a bit, feeling himself being tugged forward. More physical contact? Ratchet saw the other hesitate, Azimuth’s sleep deprived mind going into overdrive.

Taking advantage of that should be fine. Just this once. Ratchet reached up and caressed the other’s face. He smiled hearing a raspy purr coming from Azimuth. Just this once, he’d use his proximity to a person he didn’t know to get what he wanted.

It felt strange. He’d have to find some way to make that up to him.

“F-fine. I’ll help them. Only because you asked...Ratchet.” Azimuth blushed at the beaming smile the younger Lombax threw his way. He suddenly let go of Ratchet’s hand and backed out of his grasp, swiftly grabbing his wrench and starting up his hover boots.

“But this means we’re up extra early tomorrow morning for training!”

“Yes sir!”

Azimuth nodded, pleased with the response he received and boosted off towards his ship. The smile slipped away from Ratchet’s face once the Lombax was gone.

It felt...surreal, using his uncanny resemblance to his father to manipulate Azimuth. It worked, but Ratchet didn’t like it. He wasn’t sure if Azimuth was doing this for him or Kaden, despite what the other said earlier.

He sighed, going back to his now cold food.

There was no need to dwell on such vexing thoughts.

It was heartbreaking.

#ratchet and clank #ratchet x alister #ratchet x azimuth #alister azimuth #lombax #sick fic #au #ratchet x alister azimuth #these two need a ship name #koopachat #fanfiction #fic #fanfic

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asheoki · 7 years ago

Note

All the unusual asks

LORD THIS IS GONNA TAKE FOREVER LMAO

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

Spotify

is your room messy or clean?

Messy

what color are your eyes?

Hazel, they alternate from a light green to a golden color depending on what I wear

do you like your name? why?

yes, I like my full name on a formal basis. it sounds elegant. on a personal level i like my nickname Ash or Nate (I prefer Ash online)

what is your relationship status?

Single. im not ready for a relationship nor do i really want one

describe your personality in 3 words or less

Friendly, supportive, cheerful

what color hair do you have?

light brown

what kind of car do you drive? color?

2004 VW Jetta its blue. I call it “blue” too

where do you shop?

lmao everywhere i go into like every store

how would you describe your style?

i dont conform to a “Style”

favorite social media account

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh i dont have one

what size bed do you have?

Queen

any siblings?

Yeah. dont like her

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

San Diego! its so pretty and the temperature is wonderful!

favorite snapchat filter?

whatever makes me look good

favorite makeup brand(s)

I dont wear makeup

how many times a week do you shower?

like 3 to 5 i try to shower every day but i get too tired to get up

favorite tv show?

Voltron and the Good Place

shoe size?

10-11 US sizing (shoe brands vary in size dunno why)

how tall are you?

5′9

sandals or sneakers?

sneakers

do you go to the gym?

no lmao

describe your dream date

movie then stargazing

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

6 dollars most of my money goes straight into my bank account

what color socks are you wearing?

im not wearing any

how many pillows do you sleep with?

i have 3 in my bed but i push 2 of them away

do you have a job? what do you do?

Yep!! I work at a drycleaners!!

how many friends do you have?

idk i consider anyone i talk to a friend

whats the worst thing you have ever done?

Steal nice pens from work? speaking of which someone left their 200 dollar pen like a year ago i think im gonna take it

whats your favorite candle scent?

eucalyptus mint!!

3 favorite boy names

Asher, Cameron, Cole

3 favorite girl names

Solana, Renata, Rosie

favorite actor?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dont have one

favorite actress?

See above

who is your celebrity crush?

Jeremy Shada jkfgfhjghgfhfdkjldfhljkhf

favorite movie?

dont have one

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

yes! dont have one

money or brains?

brains

do you have a nickname? what is it?

lmao yeah i have a lot. Pandaboy and Peanut are the oldest

how many times have you been to the hospital?

0top 10 favorite songs

i cant pick!!! but ive been listening to Battle Scars by Paradise Fears and Thumbs by Sabrina Carpenter a lot recently

do you take any medications daily?

Nope!

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

Clear!

what is your biggest fear?

Spiders

how many kids do you want?

dunno

whats your go to hair style?

combed to the side, its no work for me and thats good cause im lazy

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

big

who is your role model?

i never had one and i dont have one

what was the last compliment you received?

Your jacket is nice

what was the last text you sent?

“Thank you for thinking about me” sent to my grandma

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

11 kldgkjgjkgdgfkjl

what is your dream car?

BMW i8

opinion on smoking?

dont like it but do what you want

do you go to college?

Yeah, community though. I didnt try in high school so im in community so i can transfer into a 4 year

what is your dream job?

Genetic Engineer

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

Suburbs

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Yes lmao. theres a hotel in June Lake California that I go to every year and i steal the soap because its eucalyptus mint scented

do you have freckles?

not anymore

do you smile for pictures?

yes

how many pictures do you have on your phone?

1127

have you ever peed in the woods?

yea lmao

do you still watch cartoons?

yes

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

neither!!

Favorite dipping sauce?

Ketchup its my favorite thing to drink too!! (not really)

what do you wear to bed?

usually only light pj pants

have you ever won a spelling bee?

yep! best speller in my grade 3 years in a row from kindergarten to second grade!

what are your hobbies?

listening to music, singing, writing music, writing, drawing (im not good at it)

can you draw?

kinda, im not very good

do you play an instrument?

ive been playing the trombone for 7 years!

what was the last concert you saw?

a jazz concert at a winery

tea or coffee?

tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

starbucks. theres like no dunkin donuts here

do you want to get married?

idk

what is your crush’s first and last initial?

dont have one

are you going to change your last name when you get married?

dont know

what color looks best on you?

blue and pink

do you miss anyone right now?

not really

do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed

do you believe in ghosts?

yes

what is your biggest pet peeve?

HAVING A COMMENT OR QUESTION ON EVERYTHING THE TEACHER SAYS!!! I DIDNT PAY TO HEAR YOUR INTERJECTIONS AND IRRELEVANT QUESTIONS

last person you called`

my mom

favorite ice cream flavor?

mint chocolate chip

regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

rainbow

what shirt are you wearing?

a voltron shirt

what is your phone background?

Lance McClain

are you outgoing or shy?

im more shy generally

do you like it when people play with your hair?

yeS

do you like your neighbors?

yes!

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

at night! when i shower!

have you ever been high?

yes

have you ever been drunk?

yes

last thing you ate?

meatloaf

favorite lyrics right now

Just like the entire lyrics from Battle Scars by Paradise Fears

summer or winter?

Winter

day or night?

Night

dark, milk, or white chocolate?

Dark

favorite month?

January

what is your zodiac sign?

Aquarius

who was the last person you cried in front of?

My mom like a few years ago. i havent cried in a long time

#ask ash #ash answers #lord this took a long time #amanda #celancestial

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