#Sofia Skyrim

[peachyhoneyadventures]

The long awaited sequel to The Sillies™️

[themegachessatron]

A Review of my time in Skyrim's Prisons (Featuring some followers): Morthal Jail

I'm back on my Skyrim prison bullshit. I can only apologise. This chapter of the review will cover Morthal, the community's collective 9th favourite Skyrim city. Will its prison fall just as flat as the city that holds it?

Arriving in my cell for the first time and I'm pleasantly surprised. Morthal Jail uses cost effective but cozy bedrolls to give prisoners a place to sleep, as well as a complimentary bucket and broom to encourage their responsibility in helping tidy their accommodations. From these we can immediately infer that the mindset in Morthal is one of community strength. Placing multiple prisoners in one cell helps build bonds and encourages teamwork, communication and friendship. Admittedly the sorts that end up in prison are more likely to simply beat their cellmates to death with their bare hands than work in-tandem with them, but it's the thought that counts.

There was space for three prisoners in this one cell, which was fortunate as Sofia and I had been arrested simultaneously (Sofia for drunken hooliganism and myself for lollygagging). Included on Sofia's side of the cell was an additional bucket, this likely serving as the simple but effective waste deposit for this cell. Also included was a basket containing five green apples and multiple sacks. Most of the sacks were empty but one of them had some salt piles inside, useful for when we needed to add salt to somebody's wounds. These simple supplies show a level of understanding for prisoner's needs not really seen in most other prisons which goes a long way to making this one feel more welcoming. Thankfully I was given an opportunity to explore beyond my cell not much later.

Less than a minute after Sofia and I had arrived in our cells, Inigo walked up to the cell doors... and simply opened them. I was at a loss for words! How had he done this? Had he used his special Khajiit powers again? Did he steal the key from an unsuspecting guard? Or had he simply intimidated the door into giving way? Well as it tuns out it was much simpler than that. He paid our bail. He had picked up some trace valuables from our adventures while I was, and I quote, "too busy scarfing dragon souls as if they were sweet rolls" and could very easily afford the rather meager bail price. Yeah turns out lollygagging doesn't incur that high of a bounty, and as for Sofia, I had asked a guard and he told me that since Morthal is such a nothing shithole drunken hooliganism is a very common offence and as such more major punishments weren't really practical for having a city with people not in prison. Still, it gave me the chance to freely observe the rest of the facilities.

Leaving my cell had allowed me to freely confirm something I had observed inside my cell. The Morthal guard leave the prisoner belongings chests directly next to the prison cells, in plain view of all the prisoners. Now, I understand that this prison is trying to build a feeling of mutual trust in its prisoners, but I fear this is far too optimistic. With the chests in this position, any wannabe escapist can freely identify where their equipment is held and try to access it without even being in the peripheral view of any guards, leading them to easily re-acquire their trusty Banded Iron Shield of the Major Knight or whatever it is they use and be more than prepared to force their way to freedom without major harm. This, much like the issues plaguing Dragonsreach Dungeon, is a major security breach and should be remedied.

I (the rather large Redguard man in the rags pictured above) then noticed that the entire prison floor in this hold was being guarded by a single solitary guardsman. Initially I had considered this lack of manpower a major oversight and a suggestion that the Morthal guard were largely lazy and/or not effectively utilized like the Whiterun guards. However, in reflection shortly after coming to this conclusion, I came to a realization. This city is a nothing shithole with a total named population of eighteen people (three of which are children). Of course there's only one guard stationed here. What few guards this city has stationed here are likely stretched incredibly thin and not very satisfied with life given they do, in fact, live in Morthal. As such, I can readily forgive the short-staffed nature of this jail.

Opposite the guard was a desk for writing legal documentations, equipped with a writer's quill, rolls of paper and multiple bottles of wine. Naturally at the sight of alcohol Sofia immediately made herself at home and then took some serious persuading to leave. Turns out having an alcohol-happy workspace in a city where drunken hooliganism is let off lightly is exactly the sort of thing to get her attention, though knowing her should have made that obvious.

The way out of the jail floor leads directly into the guard barracks with zero alternative routes and multiple guards inside at all times, which in any other hold would act as a strong defence against escaping convicts. However, with this being Morthal the nothing shithole and the guards being so few in number, every guard in the barracks when I entered was fast asleep, catching up on any rest they could possibly get. I pity those soldiers, but I doubt thieves, murderers and other more serious convicts would be as sympathetic.

On the whole, I found Morthal Prison to be a much better facility than Dragonsreach Dungeon. It has a clear intention for its captives in mind, it accommodates them well without breaking the bank and the guards (what ones are still awake that is) are very nice and understanding. There are still faults however, namely the placement of the prisoner belongings chests and the fact that this is still, at the end of the day, Morthal. Despite these though, I'd recommend Morthal Prison. It serves as a diamond in the swampy messy shithole that is Hjaalmarch.

Final rating: Seven Banded Iron Shields of the Major Knight out of Ten Banded Iron Shields of the Major Knight

Thank you for entertaining these reviews of mine. Next time we see if the Dawnstar Jail is the reason why all of the city's residents are troubled by endless nightmares.

[fantasiacafecat]

I noticed I didn't post any LGBTQ+ stuff or any Skyrim modded Follower content in more than a week. So why not make both right now?

Lgbtq+ headcanons with the Dovahkrew

These are Sexuality and romantic orientations not gender orientation headcanons. Sorry. These are also MY headcanons so if they don't match up with your headcanons it's not personal so please don't get mad at me. I am curious to see your headcanons as well though.

Inigo- Heteroflexible. He is most definitely interested in women and I always head canon that after the events of Skyrim he does settle down with the woman of his dreams who just happens to own a sweet roll shop. But I also feel like he would definitely point out a man's beauty. He seems like a very comfortable in his Sexuality kind of guy.

Lucien- Questioning Asexual Biromantic. He seems more interested in knowledge and learning other things than a relationship. And if someone did ask about his orientations then I feel like he wouldn't be able to answer that because he doesn't really try to experiment with romance of any kind.

Kaidan- Bisexual with maybe a fem preference (including feminine or men). I also see him as Pansexual because honestly I don't think he really cares about what gender his lover is.

Auri- Sapphic or Lesbian. I mean her creator basically made it Canon that she Prefers women.

Rumarin- Panflux 100%. Gender doesn't get in the way when it comes to any type of attraction to one another.

Vilja- I really only know her from a video of Inigo dialogue they have together. If I had to make a guess I would say she's straight or Pan, but I'm leading more into Straight.

Sofia- Bi with a big male preference.

Hoth- I really wish there were more videos and content on his commentary in Skyrim because I don't have him, but I'm interested him so much that I'd love to know more about his character. I feel like he doesn't use labels and gender isn't that much of an issue when it comes to love.

Taliesin- Pansexual. I mean come on its THE Talisman.

Gore (aka bby girl)- Questioning Omnisexual. It just feels right to me

Caryalind- I can't remember if rabbit said his sexuality was Demiromantic Asexual. I know he is Ace (or at least on the Ace spectrum) but I can't remember is they anything about being demi. I think he's Demiromantic.

Lucifer- Polysexual but I feel like he does have a male preference though I could be very very wrong. It's so funny because I play with him a lot on Skyrim but barely know anything about him. He holds grudges, he's very secretive (good on him because i would be too if i was in his situation), and he loves argonians. He seems to look up to Xelzaz and Inigo (and in some sense he does seem to be very enthusiastic when first meeting Nebarra until he realizes he doesnt like his personality) a lot which is what fueled my belief that he's maybe Achillean (Sapphic but for masculine terms instead of feminine).

Nebarra- I 100% believe that he refuses to use any labels. I think he might lean toward women a bit more, but that would only be because of how altmer are only raised to make the perfect child, so opposite sex relationships are probably the most common in the Summerset Isles. His fixation with Niranye and past relationship with Camia shows that. He doesn't seem Asexual because he doesn't hide the fact that he does enjoy the idea of doing the naughty naughty. His commentary on Dibella, Dibella Sybil quest, in the Night to Remember he says how he hopes we got to experience the Dibellan arts, and how he jokes about being Lucifer's father just prove that.

Xelzaz- Don't get mad at me, but I think he's straight. He says when hes ready he's like to marry a female argonian, and the only other time he's fallen I love was with another girl. I don't think he's asexual, but I think he definitely isn't very interested in it though we wouldn't really know because he seems very adamant on wanting to keep that part of his life private (as he should I love a king that doesn't feel like he has to tell us his sexual life).

Remiel- Asexual Panromantic. It was already proved Canon that she's Asexual. I had the conversation with her where she tells is she doesn't feel sexual feelings towards someone as she does with romantic feelings (also good on her. Not every relationship needs to have sexual desire in them). She's fallen in love with boys before and didn't seem too mad about being arranged to another man so I don't want to label her as Sapphic. And she does fall in love with you regardless of gender and I haven't seen anything that says she has a preference from the creator so I believe she's panromantic.

Secunda- I really don't know her that much yet as I'm still playing with her. First impressions is telling me panflux though I could be wrong though.

Extra!

Serana- Without the SDA. She always gave me Asexual Biromantic vibes.

Teldryn Sero- Haven't started A serious Teldryn mod yet so I don't know too too much about his personal preferences, but he seems like the type who doesn't really use labels. Though I'm positive he is Bisexual.

Karina- Panromantic Demisexual. It was confirmed by the one who made her @jewelthejaguar742

Arstul- Asexual Omniromantic with a male preference. Talked with @joonjii about it and it's confirmed. However, they also said he could be panromantic with a male preference too but they said my opinion was valid and technically right.

I might post sexuality headcanons for all my dragonborn and follower ocs

[thattwink]

Skyrim custom follower sexyman polls under cut! Congratulations to our winner, Taliesin. <3

Round one

Nebarra VS Rumarin

Taliesin VS Hoth

Caryalind VS Bishop

Lucifer VS Secunda

Inigo VS Remiel

Lucien VS Auri

Kaidan VS Sofia

Gore VS Xelzaz

Round two

Taliesin VS Lucien

Nebarra VS Caryalind

Secunda VS Gore

Inigo VS Kaidan

Round three

Taliesin VS Nebarra

Inigo VS Gore

Round four

Taliesin VS Inigo

[skymim]

Some headcanons about Sofia

“Sofia” is the Imperialized version of a more traditional Nordic name

The Abandoned Shack outside Morthal was Sofia’s childhood home

The stint of farm work Sofia mentions was in Rorikstead. It ended when Sofia realized she hates routines almost as much as she hates farmers and quit without notice

She self-sabotages every aspect of her life. She needs to offend everyone so that the any rejection is on her terms, she needs to spend money the second she gets it so she can’t regret a big financial decision

Sofia’s fear of rejection has kept her from joining The Companions. She likes the idea of being a mercenary with bragging rights but puts it off because she can’t stand the idea of Kodlak (or anyone) deciding if she’s worthy

Sofia has a crush on Aela the Huntress

Sofia was not actually drunk the day she shot Anoriath, she’s just too proud to admit what a bad archer she is

Phinis Gester tried to make Sofia a Conjuration Apprentice after he found her creating the spell “Summon Sofia.” Sofia refused because she felt he was a creep and she didn’t want want him to summon her.

She was given an academic demerit for reckless use of magic after she tested her new spell “Mass Vanish Garments” in the library. Phinis wanted to let her off with a warning if she agreed to join the conjuration school but Tolfdir was tired of watching Phinis get apprentices killed and insisted on expulsion

Being homeless after College was harder on Sofia than she would ever admit.

[ihatetheinternetandeveryoneonit]

I really want an arc where the dragonborn sails off to the Iliac Bay. Maybe they're just trying to get away from their destiny, or maybe they're trying to bring a fight to the Thalmor and chasing them off of Highrock territory with the help of Hammerfell.

Regardless, I like pirate shit, and I want to see the custom followers on a boat getting sun and waving sabers around.

Kaidan and Lucien would be getting constantly seasick. In fact, Kaidan has a phobia of the ocean. Lucien was a stowaway looking for adventure and new studies but the retching sounds give him away.

Cary loves it at port and the first few days, but gets tired of the sea really quickly.

Rumarin is on barnacle duty.

Sofia is probably the one to start a mutiny and become the pirate captain. Someone else starts a mutiny and walks her down the plank not even a week later.

Inigo takes to it like a fish to water. Except for the salt, it makes his fur itchy. He can climb up the mast like nobody's business.

Khash is the cabin girl, and is the only one competent at her job.

[alexanderdragonborn]

Anya: I noticed you haven't been spending as much as you used to. Is everything okay?

Sofia: Yeah. I just-you been so nice to me. I hate that Im actually worried I'll push you away or think I'm a gold digger.

Anya: I never thought of you like that. I like to spoil my friends.

Sofia: So you wouldn't mind if I got myself a new dress? New necklace? Fix my nails? The last bandit broke one of them.

Anya: Do it. I want you to be happy.

Sofia: Despite the fact its your gold.

Anya: Nope. Not mine, that's yours. Once I have that amount of gold, I give them to friends or give them to beggers when we're in the city.

Sofia: *hugs* You're a good friend. Thank you. But this won't stop from gifts will it?

Anya: *chuckles* Never. Now go have fun. See you tonight?

Sofia: See you tonight later!

[good-morning-czernobog]

Cadeyrn and the gang at it again

[milkyandromedas]

having the world's grandest and silliest time in skyrim via bringing 21 and soon to be 22 followers around with me at all times. narrow hallways are a nightmare. sometimes upon entering an area i spawn one to two floors above or below the group. everyone is always talking to each other and to me. i have music on in the background i don't know what anyone's saying to me ever. but they are my friends.

[pixiegeist]

Judge my taste in men based on my top 20 babes (in ORDER of how much I wanna marry them!! (I have no life help..) And if we share any in common, PLEASE message me so we can simp together!!! >:) It’s a rough life, being a girl who’s seemingly overwhelmingly attracted to gay-coded men.............

[starshinesoldier]

#kaicember prompt 2 "tell us what tradition would your DB enjoy partaking in?" Decorating the tree with her traveling party. They're very chibi, so it's a little hard to tell. But it's Lucien, my DB, Kaidan and Sofia. Sofia's in air jail because she's got mistletoe and tried to get a smooch. #fanart #theelderscrollsvskyrim #elderscrolls #skyrim #dragonborn #Sol #originalcharacter #oc #dovahkiin #kaidanfollower #kaidan #kaidan2 #kaidanskyrim #skyrimfollower #akaviri #akavir #sofiafollower #sofiathefunnyfullyvoicedfollower #sofiaskyrimfollowermod #lucienflavius #lucienimmersivefullyvoicedmalefollower #uniballvision #prismacolorpencils #winsorandnewton #winsorandnewtonwatercolors #myart #starshinesoldier

[themegachessatron]

A Review of my time in Skyrim's Prisons (Featuring some followers): The Chill

This is the (much delayed due to work) eighth part of my Skyrim Prison Review series. In this post I explore The Chill, the only thing in Winterhold other than the College of Winterhold to hold any significance whatsoever as this jail contains much do discuss.

First arriving in the prison and we are greeted with what I can only assume to be a claustrophobe's worst nightmare. The guards had thrown the entire squad into a single tiny cell. Space to move around was effectively non-existent for us. I imagine a singular convict would fare better, but not by much. Also worth considering is our surroundings. We were tossed into a frozen cavern in the middle of nowhere and locked in a sharp metal box. Needless to say the Winterhold judiciary were making their attitudes to prison life clear. They wanted convicts to suffer.

Shuffling myself through the rag-tag squad to better observe the cell interior we see a single bed roll and lantern for illumination. This all aligns perfectly with how Winterhold want their prisoners to leave review scores of one Ancient Frost Atronach out of ten Ancient Frost Atronachs and not even risk stealing from Winterhold because of how badly they'd be treated. Needless to say there was a LOT of debate in the team as to who would receive bed roll privileges and who would have to huddle to each other for warmth. As can be expected from a squad comprised of a drunkard, a donkey, a recovering Skooma addict, a barely housetrained Reikling and a Skyrim Tumblr Sexy Man, yelling eventually evolved into its stage two form: Violence. Just before proper conflict could be instigated though I noticed something.

I still had my equipment on me. At no point did any of the authorities strip me of my gear and as such there would be no prisoner belongings chest in this prison. This can be interpreted in one of two ways. Either the guards that brought me here are largely incompetent and simply forgot to remove my belongings (which seems unlikely given the complete lack of a prisoner belonging chest) or the way I personally interpreted it which was "These guards have the biggest kahoonies in the entire country". They are SO confident in their defences that they don't even bother taking away prisoners' gear. They think even with it all convicts can't escape.

Now it is worth noting that not having their things stolen is nothing new for my companions. I am unsure as to why every hold lets them keep their gear while I lose mine, but I suspect that the answer is very complicated, personalised and more than likely involves Slaughterfish in some capacity. This aside, thanks to our shared equipment not being stolen, picking the adept lock on our cell before any blood was drawn proved simple.

Looking outside my cell I can plainly see where the confidence of the Winterhold Guard derives from. Instead of sending good men to freeze to death guarding pickpickets that also freeze to death, they hired out Frost Atronachs from the College nearby. This proved to be a very effective source of fear, muscle and worry in convicts, so much so that I temporarily deployed the Super Special Dragonborn Information Vision (S.S.DIV) that every Dragonborn has to keep track of my health, magicka and stamina (It's a dragonborn thing, look it up). The atronach was patrolling a small area with only three cells including ours and some barrels inside. Given how small I imagine the life expectancy for Chill inmates is thanks to the cold, I suppose it makes sense to not bother decorating. Once we had properly stepped outside of our cell, the Atronach got to work immediately and began an offensive on our group.

No points for guessing how it went.

A small incline to the right of the cell we were put into let out of the prison, where we were greeted with both a sharp realisation and, surprisingly, a welcome party.

Three additional Frost Atronachs ambushed us the second we stepped out of The Chill, as well as a lone Horker which appeared to be there just to feel included. This troublesome trio posed a triple threat to our squad and even managed a decent hit on me in the ensuing battle, though once again through the power of friendship, magic and Jordan we pulled through (at the cost of Teldryn's Flame Atronach).

It was following the defeat of the Atronachs that we came to a realisation. We were not in the city of Winterhold. We were not even CLOSE to the city of Winterhold. We were, as the less eloquently spoken would say, in the middle of fucking nowhere. We were dragged onto a tiny island in the middle of the ocean in freezing weather (heavy armour and all) by the guards and simply left to die. This goes beyond simple prisoner negligence or torture for military/political information. They were actively trying to kill us because I punched a single guardsman once and immediately surrendered. That is... a very commendable attitude. These guards are even more no-nonsense than the Windhelm Guards and this further supports my arguments about the aforementioned kahoonies.

In conclusion, this was easily the best prison I have seen so far. It fully commits to its cold attitude to prisoning with zero compromise, makes effective use of powerful Frost Atronachs to save on manpower, is incredibly cost efficient in terms of cell upkeep and manages to keep convicts out of the city streets better than any other hold capital by simply imprisoning them several miles away from the city itself in a sub-zero climate that would kill most escapees alone. This facility is beyond exceptional.

Final Score: Ten Ancient Frost Atronachs out of Ten Ancient Frost Atronachs

Thank you for reading this review. I hope that the conclusion to this saga arrives with a smaller gap than the last two did. This is especially important since I've saved by far the biggest for last.

"No one escapes Cidhna Mine"? Yeah right.

[aquicat]

Okay. I may or may not have written Sofia the First & Skyrim crossover femslash. Hear me out

[thattwink]

So if this has already been done, let me know, but I'm tempted to make a Skyrim modded followers sexyman poll. Should I? If so, let me know who I should add!

[m-herra]

I need 2 draw the cuddle pile thoughts in tags

[ihatetheinternetandeveryoneonit]

Custom Followers in Napoleon Dynamite

Rumarin as Napoleon

Inigo as Pedro

Lucien as Kip

Bishop as Uncle Rico

Serana as Deb (I'm assuming y'all simps have modded her into being basically a custom follower)

Cary as Summer

Sofia as Don

Recorder as Trisha

Nebarra as Rex

Kaidan as Starla

Rufus as the kid who asks for Napoleon's tots (Randy)

Auri and Khash as Pedro's cousins

Skeever as Lyle

Vigilant as Tina