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otakusheep15 · 1 year ago

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Obey Me Flufftober Day 31

Prompt: Haunted House

Pairing: all (separate) x reader (gender neutral) (platonic Luke)

Word count: 3,321

A/n: You guys voted, and surprise 3 won, meaning I get to write about everyone in a haunted house! I still don't know how I managed to make it through yet another October, but I'm very proud of the work I've done this month. As a reminder, my inbox is almost always open if anyone wants to send in a request. My fandom list is on my pinned post, so if you have any suggestions, feel free to ask!

Lucifer

He is not scared in the slightest, and it's actually very funny to watch. Like, the scare actors try so hard to get him to jump, and it does not work at all.

Lucifer is definitely the type to critique the design of the house. He'll talk about how a decoration is inaccurate or a prop is out of place. Truly a menace indeed.

I feel like he would be so into grilling the details of the house that it would be easy to scare him in this moment. None of the scare actors get him, but if you or one of his brothers sneaks up on him, he will jump. Then he'll deny it ever happened of course.

His main priority is watching over you. If you're scared of haunted houses or if you're just jumpy in general, he'll hide you behind him and threaten any actors who try to scare you. If you're not scared, he still keeps a close eye on you as you run around with the others, though he's a little less protective since you can handle yourself.

None of the scare actors particularly like him because of how he is in the house, but at least he's not as chaotic as his brothers, so he gets a minute pass.

Mammon

Scared, horrified, running away from literally everything.

Poor Mammon would not last two second in a haunted house. He'd be so cocky beforehand, bragging about how brave and cool he is, and then immediately gets scared by a creaky door or something.

Scare actors love him because of how easily frightened he is. Mammon practically jumps ten feet in the air anytime someone jumpscares him.

However, Mammon does have quick reflexes, so he might accidentally punch an actor in the face and get banned for life, so make sure he avoids that.

Regardless of how brave you are in this situation, Mammon is clinging to you for dear life. If you're also a scardy-cat like him, then the two of you cower behind Lucifer the whole time to avoid the jumpscares. If you're braver than him, he'll pretend to be your knight in shining armor to impress you, immediately gets scared, and hides behind you for the rest of the night.

Once getting out, he'll deny ever being scared, but Levi got everything on tape, so no amount of denying will erase it.

Leviathan

You'd think he'd be scared, you you'd be so wrong. This kind of thing is like a paradise to Levi.

He loves all things horror, so haunted houses are definitely his jam. Yeah, he does get jumpscared easily, but that's all part of the fun to him. He loves it when the scare actors manage to get him, and he'll compliment them on how well they're doing before moving on.

If he's allowed to record, you best believe he is vlogging every last detail. Levi def has a Deviltube channel, and he will post the entire thing, including everyone else getting scared.

Levi will absolutely cling to your side the entire time. If you're scared by haunted houses, he might make fun of you a bit for being a normie, but he doesn't mean anything by it. This might actually be one of the few times you'll ever see confident Levi. He'll walk in front of you and tell you when he thinks a scare might come up, as he's pretty good at predicting those sorts of things. If you're also a lover of haunted houses, the two of you are having so much fun. You're so hyped up, running around and trying to find all of the hidden details and scare actors.

Levi's probably one of the best to go to a haunted house with, as he's one of the few who actually understands proper haunted house etiquette, plus he's one of the few who actually enjoys this kind of thing.

Satan

Do not, and I repeat, do not take him to a haunted house ever. It will end in disaster for everyone.

Satan hates being jumpscared. As much as he hates to admit it, he is surprisingly jumpy, so him and haunted houses do not mix. When he gets scared, he gets mad, and Satan mad is never good. He will go on an absolute tear and destroy the whole haunted house.

But, let's assume he wouldn't do such a thing. As long as he doesn't get scared, Satan is pretty good company for a haunted house. He likes exploring all of the different rooms and looking for any hidden details.

If you really wanna have fun, you should take him to a haunted escape room instead. That way, he can focus more on the puzzles and the problem solving and less on the scares.

Satan is also good company if you're afraid of haunted houses. He'll protect you from anything scary, and if he senses a scare is about to happen, he'll hide you so you don't have to see it. However, if you enjoy haunted houses, Satan is content to let you do your own thing while he stays a bit behind. If you're with a group, he prefers to stay in the back and hang out there, but if it's just the two of you, he'll walk behind you while you lead the charge.

Asmodeus

He has a love-hate relationship with haunted houses. On the one hand, Asmo hates being scared. He does not like scary movies, books, games, or any other work of horror. On the other hand, he can appreciate the time and effort put into haunted houses, especially when it comes to wardrobe and makeup. While it may not be his personal style, he loves all of the little details inthe scare actors' costumes and makeup, and will compliment them.

He's another one to vlog his haunted house experience if he's allowed to. Honestly, even if he weren't allowed, he probably would anyway, resulting in him getting kicked out. Playing the influencer card would not help him here.

Asmo does jump easily, but he is also good at recovering quickly in order to save face, so even if he is scared, you barely notice before he's back to his usual self.

If you're jumpy like him, the two of you will hide together. this is especially true when you're in a group because you will be hiding in the middle like a protective shield. If you like haunted houses, Asmo will ramp up the drama and make you into his knight and shining armor. He'll pretend to faint so that you'll catch him, he'll cling to your arm, etc. etc. It's actually quite cute as long as it's something you enjoy as well.

Beelzebub

He's actually a lot of fun in a haunted house. I imagine that a lot of the scare actors would actually be afraid of him considering how intimidated he looks and how he keeps commenting about how edible some of the scenery looks.

Beel is kinda bored since he's hard to scare, but he still enjoys walking around. As long as he has something to snack on, he's good with being in a haunted house for a bit.

If you're going with a group, Beel will kinda become the leader by default since he's big enough to be a shield for some of the jumpers like Mammon and Asmo. If it's just the two of you, he'll stick by you and will hold your hand if you'd like him to.

If you're someone who is easily frightened, he'll protect you. You can stand behind him and cling to his shirt while he guides you through the house. Beel will most likely glare at actors who scare you, but he knows that it's their job, so he doesn't do much more than that.

Conversely, if you're someone who likes haunted houses, he's more than happy to let you lead the way. Watching you get all excited whenever a jumpscare happens makes him smile, and he loves seeing you so happy.

Belphegor

This demon thrives in haunted houses. They are actually his natural habitat, but you didn't hear that from me.

Belphie is also an absolute menace. Scare actors hate him because he makes it his mission to scare them first. He's been kicked out of several haunted houses because of this, but he just keeps going back anyways.

When he's with a group, he'll usually stick towards the back, or he'll have someone carry him so that he can sleep. When he's just with you, he'll either drag along behind you if he's tired, or lead you if he's more awake and interested.

If you're not fond of haunted houses or if you're more jumpy, he'll stay in front of you, but not much more than that. He still laughs when you get scared, but he'll hold your hand for the rest of the way and comfort you when you get outside. He'd apologize for laughing, but he'd do it again the next time anyways. Not out of malice though; that's just how he is.

If you're a fan of haunted houses, you and Belphie have a blast. Just makes sure you keep him from getting kicked out again. You two run around and explore and have the best time. Like Satan, he'd also enjoy a haunted house themed escape room. The three of you hanging out and doing an escape room is the idea hangout.

Diavolo

Absolutely obsessed with haunted houses. Like, this man is having the most fun you've ever seen. He's like a child experiencing his first haunted house, and it's adorable. It's also most likely accurate, as he doesn't get out much and probably hasn't actually experienced one before.

Dia is a major extravert, so he's very good when in a group. He's not very jumpy, and actually laughs when the actors try to scare him, so he's good for leading the charge and protecting everyone else. If it's just the two of you, Diavolo will make sure you're having the most fun you possibly can.

If you dislike haunted houses, Diavolo will make sure you're safe at all times. He'll hide you behind him and keep you away from all possible jumpscares. It's nice to see him so protective, but it's also intimidating to the scare actors, as the last thing they want is to accidentally upset this man or his partner.

If you like haunted houses, then he'll be so excited. He's dragging you around to any and all haunted houses he can find and he's having the time of his life with you. Watching you have fun is also fun for him.

Barbatos

Chaos. Absolute chaos. One scare actor tries to jumpscare him and suddenly they can no longer be found. he denies everything of course, but you know.

Barbatos hates being scared. Can he sense a scare coming from a mile away? Yes. Does he still somehow get scared anyway? Also yes. He actually hates haunted houses, but he'll never let anyone know. He's super good at hiding it, and by hiding it, I mean hiding the bodies of the scare actors he accidentally kills when they scare him just a bit too much.

If you don't like haunted houses, then that's perfect for him. Instead, he'll gladly stand outside with you while your group goes inside. He's definitely the themepark mom who stands outside of all the attractions and holds the bags for everyone, and that's especially true here. please stand outside with him and keep him company. He's actually very embarrassed about it, even if he won't show it.

If you want to go into the haunted house, he'll begrudgingly agree as well. He stays quiet, and you'll never know how scared he is. Like I said, he's great at keeping his fear hidden, and he's also good at predicting jumpscares, but it's one thing to predict a scare and another to be prepared for it.

Please show him some mercy and just let him stay outside. He needs a break, plus it would keep the poor scare actors alive as well, so it's a win-win for everyone.

Simeon

The confused but happy-to-be-there grandpa. He's having a good time, but he doesn't really understand the point of a haunted house. When he gets scared, he jumps then laughs it off and talks about how good the actor got him, and it's actually very cute.

Haunted houses aren't much his scene, but he doesn't mind them. Simeon isn't very jumpy, but he does get scared on occasion if it's a particularly good one. He's also the type to pretend to be scared because he'd feel bad. It's the actor's job after all, so he wants them to succeed. It's actually very adorable.

If you dislike haunted houses, he understands and would gladly stand outside with you if you need. However, if you go in anyways, he'd let you hide behind him. Simeon is a bit chaotic, so he might try to scare you himself, but not too bad. Plus, he'd protect you from the actual scares, so it's not too bad.

If you enjoy haunted houses, Simeon is more than happy to stay behind you while you lead the way. He's not scared, but he'd much rather you take the brunt of the jumpscares so that he can simply enjoy his time with you.

Luke

He tries so hard to be brave, and it does not work at all. Luke would refuse to go in without Simeon with him, and he'd cling to him the entire time. He would also stay with you because he trusts you to keep him safe.

Please keep him away from the brothers. They will make it their mission to scare poor Luke, so keep an eye on them just in case. Also make sure Luke stays somewhere in the middle of the group so that he can avoid as many jumpscares as possible.

Like I said, Luke would try so hard to put on a brave face. He'd march in all tough-looking and would immediately get scared by the opening scare.

Ideally, he would just hang out outside with Barbatos and Simeon, but he'd go in for you. He wants to look tough for you if no one else because he looks up to you so much. This is especially true if you're scared as well, as he wants you to feel like he can protect you as your guardian angel.

However, if you're not scared, he will hide behind you. He tries to convince you he's not scared and that he's just protecting your back, but you both know the truth. Just take pity on him and hype him up so that he gains some confidence.

Solomon

Another menace. He's casting small spells here and there to create extra scares that never existed. He's out here scaring the scare actors because no one knows how that prop got there, meanwhile he's just goofing off. His main targets are Asmo and Barbs since they're his pactmates, but he's an equal opportunist menace, and he will go after anyone.

You're not safe either. You thought that because he loves you that you would be safe, but you're so wrong. He actively targets you more because he loves you. Nothing too major of course, but he is a prankster by nature, and this is no exception. He's out here scaring you more than the actors.

If you're genuinely scared, he won't add onto that too much. Maybe on little prank here and there, but just to make you laugh rather than to scare you.

However, if you enjoy being scared, he is not holding back. Solomon will go all out, and at this point, he's going to put the scare actors out of a job. It's silly, but please tell him to tone it down before he gets banned. Not that he'll care, but still.

Thirteen

Yet another menace. However, she's a nice menace. Thirteen is the type to force someone else to be at the front so that they get the brunt of the scares. She will also fight with Solomon the entire time, but that's how she usually is anyways.

Thirteen isn't jumpy at all, so none of the scares get her. However, she'll sometimes pretend to be scared because she thinks it's fun for her. She also likes to scare the actors back, so she's also one who'll get kicked out of haunted houses for messing with them.

She will bully Mammon for being scared and actively make sure he's even more scared with her own tricks. It's a little mean, but it is also very funny, and the video Levi gets is golden.

If you're easily scared, she will tone it down a bit for your sake. Unlike Solomon, she won't try to scare you at all, instead focusing more on making sure you're okay. If needed, she will stay outside with you, even if she really wants to go inside. She'd do anything to make you comfortable, even at the sacrifice of her own enjoyment.

However, if you're like her, you two will probably get arrested. She will drag you into so many pranks, and it's so much fun. Just make sure you stay away from Lucifer and Barbatos lest they punish you. Also, like I said, you might get arrested or kicked out, but she doesn't care.

Mephistopheles

Surprisingly not scared that much. He might jump a bit, but it's barely a reaction at all. He's actually so bland it's sad. Like, he doesn't get into chaos, but he also isn't jumpy. Mephisto kinda just exists within the group. The most he'll do is make fun of the ones who do get scared, which might end up in a fight, but that's it.

He wouldn't mind hanging out outside with Barbatos, but he'd prefer being inside to stay with Diavolo (simp).

If you were scared, he'd stay by you and let you hold his arm. He hides you when he senses a scare coming on, and if anyone bullies you, he will fight them. It's a sweet gesture, but the extra yelling doesn't help.

If you enjoy being in the house, he's fine letting you go off on your own. He'll look after you from afar, but he won't bother you too much so that you can have your own fun. He'd join you if you want him to, but if not, he'd rather hang back and just enjoy walking through the house.

Raphael

Stoic. Calm. Not scared at all. It's actually the scariest part of this adventure. Like, he shows zero emotion when in the haunted house. No one knows how, but they fear him greatly.

He'd probably prefer to be one of the ones to stay out of the house and hang out at the entrance, but if you want him to go, he will.

He tries his best to keep the group in line, but he fails miserably. It's just him, Lucifer, and Barbatos suffering in silence while the group causes chaos around them.

If you're afraid, he'd gladly stay outside with you. He'd hang out and wait for the group with you and that would make him so happy. However, if you did go in, Raphael is your best protector. He keeps you away from any and all jumpscares and will not let you out of his sight until it's over.

If you're not scared, he'd still go in with you, but he'd be less protective. He would be fine letting you go off and have fun, but he'd still keep an eye on you just to make sure you're staying out of trouble. If he senses you causing chaos, he will step in and tell you to calm down, but he still wants you to have fun, so he tries his best to be lenient.

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gege-wondering-around · 6 months ago

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I liked this question so much I'd love send it back! 🩵

What are your favorite tropes/plots in fanfics? And what are your fav ship to read each of the trope/plot with?

You are such a gorgeous person, I'll never thank you enough for being so kind and for helping me talk to people! Keep on shining ✨

I'm so glad you liked the ask @dontcallpanic I'll send more if you'd like, it would be so lovely to get to know you better🫂💕 (I had to think about the answer too, i didn’t think to find an answer to it myself🤣🩵)

So, my fav tropes/plots (with some specific ship related to them):

The 'to be loved is to be changed' kind of trope, which is not really what it's called, but it's like healing from trauma (or anything in general, really) through someone's love and closure (like A gets better cause B is always around) and I'm an absolute sucker for this trope, especially when it's well done and kinda realistic (I love realistic narrations, like teen wolf is supernatural but i love when the writer puts in the realistic aspect of their lives in such a universe). I like this with basically any ship I've ever read so far.

The 'true mates'. I'd go highs and lows to find this kinda trope in a fic, especially when they already kinds fit the naration of the canon or simply fits the dynamics. I love this one with Sterek, to me it's just a lovely way of being in love that makes it all look more and more lovey-dovey. (I know it's not realistc, but nothing is ever one sided, right?)

Angst with happy ending. I can't read angst if there's no happy ending, i would end up crying all day long and the fic would probably be stuck in my head forever. (I read them rarely, after i read one a long time ago it just got in my head and it still makes me cry, it was so beautiful and painful at the same time😭)

Generally, the 'first time' plot is one of the best for me. It could be sexual or not, but i always love readin them. I usually do this with Sterek and Henry and Alex from 'red, white and royal blue'. Warms my heart every time.

Gor the ships, i generally follow the same plots for every ship, like i read all of the above for Sterek (and I also write them myself) but the true mates is mostrly for the ships that ki da fits in my eyes. Like sometimes Hannigram when I'm feeling nostalgic.

For the 'to be loved is to be changed' (and yeah i took it from the tiktok trend but it fits so nicely and every single edit makes me cry) it's my favorite in basically every ship(?).

I got:

Destiel (supernatural)

Hannigram (hannibal nbc)

Sterek (teen wolf)

Vash and wolfwood (Trigun)

Newmas (maze runnner)

The oldest ad first I've ever followed, Klance (voltron)

Sherlock and Liam (moriaty the patriot - it's an anime)

Chreon (resident evil)

Let me correct myself, the oldest, first one that ever make me discover fandoms in general, Kaito and Shinichi (detective conan - yeah, I know, but it was the first one and i have to honor it by mentioning it here)

It just warms my heart cause it fits every single ship that you could think of cause it's basically what love is to its core (at least in my eyes). Like, you love someone and they love you, you two grow together and become someone else (usually a better version of who you already are) and just love each other through the whole progress and keep investing in one another. You decide to change some aspects of yourself (usually something that you don't like as well) to show your partner your love and the effort you put in your relationship.

Ok, i totally went off road with this😅

But anyway! I hope i reached some level of good with this answer, I'm glad it came from you, darling.

You're doing amazing @dontcallpanic, I'm so honored and glad my little asks (and so everyone else’s asks) are helping you talking to people! My dms are always open for you if you'll ever wanna drop something in them too, but regardless of it, my askbox welcomes you always and so do I💕🫂💕🫂

Wish you a wonderful, full of joy day, let me know if you have any more questions! I'll probably pass by your askbox again, so wait for me🫂💕💗

#you are an amazing person #ask game #beautiful people #the nicest person ever #💕💗#— [. 🫂 ] ; my mutuals <3 #to the most gentle and sweet person ever <3

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sonorousabyss · 2 years ago

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𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝘂𝗽 - 𝗔𝗻𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻 𝗦𝗸𝘆𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗲𝗿

A/N: It's no problem at all @alittletoobsessedwithclonewars, this was... way... way too much fun.

So long Seppies, better luck next life.

Seriously though. You know how you said you were a menace to society? Yeah. You with Anakin? Take that, and multiply it by cancer.

All semi-references aside, to say that you are chaotic is an understatement. While you both get the job done, you certainly do so in style.

...If by style you mean getting your ship shot, spiraling out of control, crash-landing on a planet, and having to wipe out hoards of droids in order to steal a new one.

You know. The usual.

It's well known on both sides of the war that statistically speaking? When you get Anakin, you're going to be trailing not too far behind.

This is either a good thing... or a bad one. Depends on who's doing the paperwork.

A lot of people just assume that you and the general are close friends, but some people do have their suspicions.

He'd definitely try and drag you on as many missions as possible regardless of your status because it means he can keep an eye on you and keep you safe. He's fairly protective by nature, and it means he gets quality time with his significant other, so to him? It's a win.

That said? I wouldn't be surprised if a few arguments arose between you both because of the missions he doesn't want you going on with him because it's "too dangerous."

We've seen it platonically with Ahsoka, and several times with Padme, so it's safe to say he dislikes when the risk is a little too high for you. If you're capable of protecting yourself it certainly eases his heart a tad- double that if you're force sensitive- but that doesn't stop his anxieties. That said, you'll probably have similar concerns for him, so you'll both have that to look forward to.

Anakin will almost always make a game out of missions with you. He's well known for droid kill count competitions with his padawan- but you make them more entertaining.

Your easy-going nature is something he admires, and before you were together it was definitely something that drew him to you.

He's charismatic by nature, but seeing someone who's fully capable of getting along with him, his padawan, his master, AND his troops is a sight and a half. Talk about a fast pass to earning brownie points.

Mischievous as you are, that gremlin energy was also a major factor in why he liked you. You clicked almost immediately.

Creativity comes in many facets, and whether it's doodling in a sketchbook or... less than orthodox methods of getting things done? He finds it endearing.

Any time he can get alone time with you, he'll take it. Believe me when I say that he'll listen to you ramble about anything for hours. Sometimes the things you come up with absolutely baffle him.

Hope you like cuddling and physical forms of affection, because he certainly does. Messing with your hair, hugs, kisses, the whole nine yards. He gets what he can, and if you think he isn't going to attempt to steal kisses while people aren't looking, you're wrong.

Of course, he'd still respect any boundaries you set in that regard- that's a given. If PDA isn't your thing he'll tone it down, but best know that if that's one of your only gripes about it all he'll be pulling you somewhere private as soon as possible.

100% makes jokes about you being a hazard to society. Hypocrite.

Anakin has stolen your beanie more than once. He doesn't wear it, but he does carry it, and if I had to describe the urge in a nutshell? His obsession with that thing is very much the phenomenon of "If not there to take, why hat?"

If you happen to be shorter than this 6'2, force-sensitive gremlin? Good luck with getting it back because he is not afraid to use your height against you.

Makes you chase him to get it sometimes. He finds it fun. Part of his charm, I suppose.

This was a thing even before you were an item. He stole it in front of Obi-Wan, and the poor man just shook his head and sighed as he watched you book it after him in a desperate attempt to get it back.

He keeps a mental tally of how many times he's kept it from you versus how many you've successfully stolen it back from him. Will argue against you getting a point if he was "distracted" by someone else when you got it, but you and he both know who the winner really was.

Would absolutely adore it if you gave him a keepsake he could wear out on missions when he was away from you. Don't think you'll be conning him into wearing a beanie with his robes anytime soon though.

Has definitely sent one of his boys to give you a gift disguised as something important for a mission, when in reality it was probably something goofy he snagged on one of his trips without you.

This has happened a few times, but I like to think at least one of these 'mystery gifts' was a beanie, or something similar.

If you wear it'll give him a confidence boost that he'll be riding for weeks.

Might need to bully him just a little bit afterward, to knock his ego down a few pegs. /j

Anakin's absolutely enamored with you. He loves giving his beloved boyfriend compliments whenever he can... to the degree that having to disguise the loving nature of them in public mildly annoys him.

He has thought about ditching the order a few times for you, but is also torn because of his sense of duty to his men, the Jedi, and the people of The Republic.

Don't think he won't be planning every aspect of life with you after the war. He will. Both with and without you. It's a hobby of his that helps him get by. He's down to go just about anywhere if it's to live with you, home planet, or otherwise.

Just keep him away from sand. It's course, it's rough, and its irritati-

He's really big on open, honest communication between the both of you, so you're free to talk to him about just about anything without judgment.

Like you though, he does have some anger issues, so you may have to dissuade him from doing anything rash and vice versa. I like to think that you both could balance each other well in this aspect.

But if you both get angry together good luck to anyone on the other side of that charade. By the force-

The theater kid aspect could enter the playing field in a number of ways depending on what role you played in theater- ex: minor actor, major actor, set designer, lighting and sound tech, etc.

The first two could help when it comes to keeping things on the down low so people don't know he isn't breaking the code. Set stuff is tricky but it gives you points in the technical category and any edge you have in that department could come in handy, what can I say?

Maybe for once the Master... at being caught isn't Anakin. Perhaps you've played the role a few times. Who knows?

If that were the case, Anakin would have been mildly grouchy during and after the fact. You? In enemy territory? Without a weapon? Alone? Absolutely not.

He's gotta admit though, you fooling the enemy or executing any successful strategy never ceases to impress him.

He's always so proud. Salty if you're ever at risk, but proud nonetheless.

100% will drop anything to help you with your anxieties, no hesitation. Need something? Wanna talk? Need him to get you away from a place or certain people? You got it. He's head over heels, so if you name it? You've got it.

Y'all are too. Damn. Cute.

A/N: I'm stopping myself here because if I go on for too long, I'll be up all night. I feel like I was only scraping the bottom of the barrel here, but by the force was it fun. I read your request and knew that you and Anakin would click immediately. I felt it in my bones, man. Request again anytime, and let me know if there's anything I missed or something you'd like to hear more about. May the force be with you, and may your day be as wonderful as the ocean's abyss is deep. Thanks for reading.

If you're new here, I take requests. You can find my rules here.

#star wars #star wars matchup #star wars x male reader #star wars x masc reader #anakin x male reader #anakin x masc reader #anakin matchup #anakin skywalker

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marriedsingleparent · 2 years ago

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Tips for men

Here's a few tips I wanted to pass along to other men, especially men who are not yet married:

Get a pre-nuptial agreement: Yeah yeah, I get it. You think you're in love. You think you can trust her. But you can't. She WILL screw you over. She WILL lie to you. You think the vows she says on your wedding day (really HER wedding day) actually mean something. But they don't. The vows that are said at the wedding altar mean absolutely squat and have no bearing. Later on down the road she could, and will, go against the very thing(s) she vowed at the altar and you'll have absolutely no legal recourse about it. Therefore you need to discuss the vows beforehand and draw up and sign a pre-nuptial agreement that spells out your vows in writing ahead of time. That way you will at least have some sort of assurance for the future when she screws you over. And she will. That's just the culture that we live in nowadays. Our culture teaches women that they can and should do whatever they want and that everyone should just worship them. And when they screw you over, culture will take the side of the woman regardless of how right you are and how wrong she is. If you both TRULY mean what you say in your vows, then neither of you will have any disagreement to putting your vows into a legal pre-nuptial agreement and signing that pre-nuptial agreement.

Find a woman who is physically attractive. If she has a lot of money then that's a plus too. Yes, I know we are told in our culture that we should marry for love: that love is all you need. We're told that we shouldn't judge on looks and that beauty is more than skin deep. Well, that's a bunch of hogwash that's only designed to benefit women. A woman WILL screw you over and once you're legally bound to her you need to have something to fall back on. She'll put on a good show before marriage to make you think that she has a good personality, that she's a good listener, that she's truthful, that she's "there for you" (hah!), that she'll always be there for you, etc, etc, etc. But later on down the road you'll see what she's really all about and you need something to fall back on. If you marry a fat ass because you "love" her then you're just screwed when your eyes are finally opened to what's really going on. That's why you need to marry a physically attractive woman so that when you DO find out what she's really like (and you will) then at least you can fall back on her physical attractiveness because that's all you'll have left. You may worry about a physically attractive woman potentially being able to attract other men, but that's a wash. Both good looking women AND fat chicks WILL cheat on you, but you need to worry about you and you need something to fall back on. Make it so that what you have to fall back on is her physical attractiveness.

Have a contingency plan. Your wife/girlfriend WILL screw you over and stab you in the back. It's not a matter of "IF" it's a matter of "WHEN". That's why you need a contingency game plan. Put away some money that she doesn't know about and that you can rely on when she takes you for everything you're worth. Hard cold cash is best because because bank accounts can be discovered in legal proceedings. Also make sure you have a vehicle that YOU will end up with and a plan for living conditions. Definitely keep track and keep a log of EVERYTHING that happens in life starting from the very beginning of the wedding ceremony or even before. If she goes to therapy make sure you have records of that. If she takes medication make sure you have records of that. Keep lots and lots of very good evidence on her. Anything that would help YOU in a divorce proceeding. And if I'm wrong, then no harm done. But if I'm right you'll be in a much better position to protect yourself. Because our culture and our court system is geared towards women. Not towards you. So do what you can to protect yourself.

#advice #good advice #life advice #tips #marriage #love #men #women #wife #husband #divorce #prenuptial #bachelor

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lick-me-lennon22 · 3 years ago

Text

How they calm you down when you're very stressed/having a breakdown 💜

thanks so much to @betchq who requested this one! hope you enjoy :) 💕

(these ended up wayyy too long.. whoops :P)

Paul:

it's all too much- you can't take it anymore

one minute you're sitting on the bed venting to Paul about work and family troubles- frustrated, but not devastated- and suddenly you've spiraled again

you're practically hyperventilating, gripping the duvet so hard your knuckles turn white, sobbing about how unfair the world is and how you'll never truly be happy

"Woah, woah, what's this all about darling?" he interjects tenderly, a gentle finger lifting your chin up to look at him, briefly breaking you from the hope-devouring clutches of your panicked mind

"It's -*hic*- just too m-much to handle Paul, I -*hic*- c-cant do it anymore," you manage to squeak out between sobs, your voice wavering and your lip quivering

Paul gazes into your tear-filled eyes, scanning them with his own in an attempt to gain understanding, a deeply concerned expression on his face

he places a firm, loving hand on each of your shoulders, eyes still locked on yours

"Listen to me, my love- nothing, and I mean nothing, is so wrong or bad that you can't take it on, or that this world would be better off without you. I know things are difficult for ye right now and it's completely understandable that you're overwhelmed- but you will get through this. And I will stay glued to your side every step of the way"

you inhale shakily, the cascade of tears that once flowed down your cheeks slowing to a halt as Paul continues his pep talk:

"Regardless of how daunting and scary it seems and no matter what it takes, you are going to be okay- more than okay, you are going to get through this and emerge from it even better off and happier than ever before. Ye hear me?" he says sincerely- his gaze stern, piercing, and comforting all at the same time

you nod slowly, eyes glimmering with residual tears, and sniffle once more

"You are the strongest, most capable, and most resilient person I know. I don't ever want you to feel that the days are becoming too heavy for you to handle. And if you do you know you can always, always come to me, no matter how insignificant you think your struggles are- they're not. I don't care if I'm 'busy,' nothing ever takes priority over you and your wellbeing, Y/N. I mean that."

you smile up at him with appreciation as he wipes your cheeks with his thumbs

"T-Thank you, Paul. It all just gets so overwhelming.. I don't know what I'd do without you"

"It's no trouble at all love, that's me job"- he gives you a small smile and pulls you in for a long, gentle hug

"I adore you Y/N, you are my whole world. Promise you'll come to me if you ever feel this way again?"

you nuzzle into Paul's chest: "I promise"

"That's my (girl/boy/love). I love you more than anything in this world- don't you ever forget that" ♡

John:

you don't even hear the front door open and shut, the sound drowned out by your sobs combined with the melancholy tunes coming from the record player on your dresser

"Y/N, I'm home!" John calls out, kicking off his shoes and coming to find you

he searches for you on the couch, at the dining room table, and then in the kitchen- but you're nowhere to be found

That's strange, he thinks, Y/N's almost always sat on the couch waiting for me when I come home...

"Where's my sweet birdie?~" he tries, striding briskly down the hallway to your shared bedroom, still in pursuit of his partner

John raps his knuckles against the wooden door and waits a few moments for a response

when he doesn't get one he turns the doorknob and pushes his way in, panic flooding his mind and senses

nothing could have prepared John for what he sees- the love of his life curled up fetal-style in bed, clutching the blanket for dear life, cheeks glistening with tears and features screwed up into an agonized expression

he rushes to your side immediately, placing a firm hand on your shoulder and shaking you softly to alert you of his presence

he spooks you and you startle, eyes snapping open in shock

"Are you alright, love? What happened- did somebody hurt you?? If someone upset ye I swear I'll make 'em rue the day they were born-" he seethes, interrupted only by you sitting up against the pillows and taking his hand in yours:

"J-John, calm down, I'm fine.."

"Did.. did I do something? Was it me? Tell me what I did wrong Y/N, whatever it is I'll fix it I promi-"

"No John, you've done everything right," you sigh

"It's j-just.." you trail off, unable to meet his gaze

he waits for a moment before encouraging you with a "Go on darling, you can tell me anything"

you take a deep, shaky breath before continuing- "Everything is so overwhelming and heavy.. just living feels like too much some days. I don't know what to do John, I'm downright miserable!!" you exclaim, your eyes once again welling up with tears

"..Oh sweetheart, come here" he opens his strong arms, pulling you in for an emotionally charged hug

John isn't the greatest at discussing feelings, so he offers comforting words instead

"Shh, everything's alright... I'm here, Johnny's got ye" he soothes, stroking your hair as you quiver in his arms, your body wracked with sobs

"I-It's just one of those days where I don't know how I'll ever b-be -*hic*- happy" you croak out, clutching his body close to yours

John draws in a deep breath before responding: "I understand how you feel- I've had plenty of those days meself," he confides in you

"But we can't let them stop us from living. Sometimes your perspective gets all screwed up and ye can't see through the bullshit your mind hurls at you,

"But one bad day is still just twenty-four hours, ye know? It helps me to think about that- that this too shall pass," he reassures you candidly, rubbing gentle circles into your back

"I know it seems impossible right now, but you'll- we'll," he corrects, "get everything sorted- including that pretty little 'ead of yours- and you'll feel like yourself again sooner than you know. Got that?" he asks

you simply nod, beginning to calm down but unable to speak just yet, and nuzzle further into John

he squeezes you tightly: "Y/N- ye know I know what it feels like to be stressed and depressed, and I just.." you hear John start to choke up and feel him tremble as he begins to cry, himself

"-ah don't ever want ye to feel hopeless like I 'ave, you know I'd take it all away in an instant if I could" he says, trying and failing to mask the wavering of his voice

"Even if it meant I'd have to take it all on meself instead, I can handle it- I'd do anything for you Y/N, I've never loved anyone or anything like I do you and it hurts me to see you in such pain"

John's voice breaks at the end of his monologue and you hear him sniffle

with that, you finally speak up: "Oh John, I'll be okay- I promise. Thank you for changing my perspective, it's just so difficult to pull yourself out of despair sometimes.. some days are just so.. heavy" you say, pulling back and looking up at him; "I didn't mean to make you cry too"

you dry your face with your sleeve and John takes your hands in his

"Y/N you know I understand completely, and I want ye to come right to me when the days get too overwhelming- I'll be sure to set your perspective straight. Don't you ever worry about making me upset or anythin' of the like, okay love?"

you nod- "And besides, I ain't crying" John says somewhat defensively and shifts his gaze away from you, still clutching your hands in his larger ones

you chuckle softly and roll your eyes at him- "Whatever you say Johnny.. you can't fool me, I know you're a softie" you tease, booping him gently on the nose

he pulls one hand back from yours, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly- "Yeah, yeah, that's enough" John says, expression hardening as he tries to disguise the grin making its way across his face

you place a hand on his cheek and turn his face to look at you

"Thank you, John. I feel so much lighter now"

"Ahh, don't mention it darling. Anytime at all- you mean the world to me. I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, John." ♡

George:

to your boyfriend George, it's a day like any other

he walks down the hallway to your shared bedroom, fizzy drink in hand, intent on watching some cartoons in bed with you

he knocks and upon hearing your, "Come in!" enters the room with an "'Ello, gorgeous!"

"Room for one more? I was thinking we could have a cartoon marathon this evening- what do ye think?" he proposes, approaching you and taking a sip of his drink

you hesitate a moment before answering: "Yeah, that's fine Geo" you say flatly, punctuated with a quiet sniffle

"...Are you feeling alright, dear? What's got you down?"

George sets his glass on the nightstand and sits beside you in bed

"Nothing's the matter babe, I'm okay" you mutter unconvincingly, avoiding eye contact

George studies your face, just now noticing the red and puffy appearance of your eyes

"Have you been crying..?" he asks gingerly and places a gentle hand on your cheek

you finally turn to look at him, sighing: "...yes but before you freak out, it's really nothing- just one of those days, you know?" you offer George a weak smile, downplaying your stress

"Y/N." he begins sternly, "I can tell when something's wrong. Do you want to tell me about it, doll?"

"I would, but there really isn't much to talk about... it's just life, I guess. Nothing specific" you shrug

"It's not 'just' anything- if it matters to you, it matters just as much to me," George reassures you sweetly

"Thank you Geo, but I don't know what to tell you. I just feel...tense and pessimistic, you know?"

George nods in understanding: "Really just that sort of day then, eh? That's the worst- ye can't target anything to fix it," he sympathizes and you nod in agreement

"Tell you what- I don't care if it takes all night, I'm gonna do whatever it is I can to make you feel comfortable and calm, all right? Starting with getting some food in ya- I know that always makes me feel better" he grins

you offer him a half-hearted smile, as much as you can muster in your state

"Of course it does, George" you chuckle, "that sounds lovely"

George disappears down the hall and returns just moments later kicking the door open, arms full of snacks and sweets (including jelly babies)

your face lights up at the sight of him

he unloads everything, opening his arms and dumping it all on the bed for you to choose whichever item you please

"Thank you, Geo" you giggle and grab one of the bags of crisps, opening it and promptly reaching in for a handful to munch on

"Anything else I can get you, darling? Anything at all?"

"Hmm.. no, I don't think so-" you start, but George cuts you off before you can finish your sentence

"Oh I know! You need a nice, warm cuppa- that'll be sure to soothe you. Be right back, love" he says and with that, he's out the door once more

you wait patiently in bed for a few minutes and graze on the treats George had brought you until he reappears, a ceramic mug in one hand and a box of tissues in the other

"Here you are dear," he says, handing the mug to you and placing the tissues on your nightstand- "I thought you might need these"

"You really didn't have to do all this, my love- thank you. It really warms my heart" you tell him earnestly, "I already feel so much better"

George beams at you: "Of course gorgeous, it's no trouble at all. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Hmm..." you contemplate his question for a moment before responding- "Just one more thing, I think"

"What is it, Y/N? Anything at all, just say the word"

"Get over here and cuddle me!"- you lift the blanket and invite him to lay with you

"I thought you'd never ask" George says cheekily and hops into bed, pulling you close to his chest to spoon you

(and reaching over you to grab an overflowing handful of crisps, shoveling them into his mouth)

you can't help but laugh and snuggle into George, your worries forgotten

"Thank you, Geo. You're the best"

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't look after my (girl/boy/love)? And besides, it's no inconvenience at all- don't you worry. I love you, Y/N"

"And I love you, George" ♡

Ringo:

Ringo has always made you feel safe, heard, and loved, and he's assured you that you can confide in him whenever you need to

he's made it a point to tell you to come to him whenever you need him, and that he'll drop everything to help you in any way he can

on one particular evening, nothing seems to be going right for you

you're beyond stressed and overwhelmed, and you can't help but break down from the pressure and weight of the world

at first when you step out into the living room, face red and tear-streaked, Ringo is oblivious

he carries on watching the television, gaze locked onto the technicolor screen

"Ritchie..?" you say meekly; "What is it, my love?" he calls out, eyes still fixed on the telly

upon seeing how invested he is in the program, you suddenly feel like a burden despite what he's told you numerous times before about coming to him when you're upset

"Umm.. nevermind" you squeak out, about to turn and drag yourself back to the bedroom when Ringo finally whips his head around to face you

his wide eyes take in your pathetic, hunched frame- hair tousled, eyes puffy and blanket pulled tight around you

"Oh my- sweetheart, are you okay? What's wrong?" he scrambles up off of the sofa and rushes over to you, panic evident in his expression

he places his hands on your shoulders and looks you over, eyes searching yours for answers

"Yeah, I'm okay" you sniffle, "but.. remember all those times you told me I should come to you if I'm ever stressed out?"

"Of course I do love, what's got you so stressed?" he inquires delicately, rubbing your shoulders

"Life, existence, everything!" you confess, exhausted

"Oh honey, everything's alright- I promise! Come here" Ringo beckons you closer and smothers you in one of his renowned bear hugs

you begin to sob quietly into his shirt

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's come over me today, I don't want to burden you-"

"Love, don't you ever worry about being overbearing or burdening me- I am always ready and willing to help you, please understand that. Managing your stress is so important and I'm thankful that ye came to me. That's what I'm here for" he reassures you as he holds you close to him

you sniffle and tremble, your tears soaking through his cotton t-shirt

"Shh, everything's going to be fine. It's okay to cry" Ringo soothes

"It's just a bad day. It doesn't mean that everything is falling apart, I promise. I'm right here. We've got this, together- you and I could take on the whole world if we had to!"

you pull back from his embrace and gaze into his eyes; "Really?"

"Of course we could, baby! Now let's get you to bed, how about that?"

you nod and Ringo lifts you up, carrying you bridal style to your shared room and setting you down gently on the bed

he swaddles you in a blanket burrito and proceeds to kiss your tears away, peppering your face with little smooches that make your heart flutter and your mind go blank

"Ritchie!!" you exclaim, giggling

"What? Kisses are the best medicine"- you agree, as long as they're his at least

once he's finished administering your treatment, he asks: "What else can I fetch ye, cutie? Anything?"

"You!"

"Why, of course!" Ringo's grin widens, lighting up his face as he pulls you close to him in bed

you rest your head on his chest and close your eyes, the dull thud of his heartbeat lulling you into a serene state of mind

for the remainder of the night Ringo refuses to leave your side, even when you drift off into peaceful slumber at last

"I love you, Y/N" he mumbles, the last thought occupying his mind before he too dozes off to sleep ♡

#beatles #the beatles #beatles x reader #john lennon x reader #paul mccartney x reader #george harrison x reader #ringo starr x reader #beatles imagines #john lennon imagines #paul mccartney imagines #george harrison imagines #ringo starr imagines #john lennon #paul mccartney #george harrison #ringo starr #richard starkey #LMLBeatles

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all-about-seggs · 4 years ago

Text

┗ Love- Lies- Bleeding

Pairing - Geto Suguru x Virgin!reader

Word count- 4.8 K

Warnings - Gaslighting, Corruption kink, snuff (not graphically depicted) and then reincarnation, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, adding blasphemy kink just to be safe.

A/n- Geto isn't a yandere here but it's Villan! Geto we're talking about so I think his actions are pretty in line with his current canon! Personality. Though a bit delusional. This is by FAR the longest thing I've ever written.

The gray cobblestones stretching across the shrine clicked against your thick wodden sandles, the quaintness of the place only making it seem unnaturally loud. It's was a regular autumn morning, which soon turned into noon as you felt the bright sun shining right on top of your head.

Having finished your morning tasks you were returning to the main shrine where the senior priestess would give you further things to do. Just the thought of more work non stop made you sigh at your monotonous shrine maiden lifestyle but as you lamented you heard footsteps behind you, the sound of which same as that of your own.

"Hey!.....", You turned around to see your little sister huffing as she catches up to you,

" y/n! He's here again!," The implications of her words made your face heat up, sure you were still a bit green and naive, but you made sure to discreet when it came to 'looking' at that one particular man that always seem to stand out among the hoards of faceless people you saw visiting the shrine everyday.

"How many times have I told you not to phrase it like that! You'll get me in trouble with the priestess!", Scrambling to get yourself together you retort sharply.

"Oh come on! Youre the one who used to stare at him from a distance like a lovesick teenager! Atleast now you're talking to him like a normal person", In terms of liveliness the sound of your back and forth was the only thing the place had.

"Watch it! If someone hears you we'll both get scolded", gently warning her again you find yourself turning back to where she came from. The other part of the premises where the peculiar man would be standing, as usual, in all his serene beauty, on the brigde overlooking the small lake.

A man in traditional Japanese cloths that you rarely see anyone wearing these days came to your shrine everyday, without fail for the past month. Everything from his attire to his elegant long hair left you in a trance and your eyes would naturally follow him.

Something about the fact how he'd always come here but never to pray or wish striked you as odd so at first you just observed and even before completely wrapping the situation around your head you two started sharing numerous conversations of the huge world that was right outside but so far away from your reach, his words fuelled the budding curiosity in your heart, the vastness of which made your trips to the lake, the most refreshing part of your otherwise monotonous daily routine.

Even if all you did was talk, a 'supposidly' demure maiden working in a shrine, skipping on her duties and rushing to the other side of the ginormous area to see a man felt almost elicit, scary even when you consider the consequences that would come if you were to get found out. The charisma his every action held was beyond resistance and you soon found yourself enraptured by the male despite everything.

"This is so pointless" you huffed, smiling out of self pity to hide the more frustrating emotions twirling within you.

"Yet you do it everyday", with a small nudge from her elbow you made your way straight to the lake, forgetting about your obligations as a shrine maiden, the responsibilities, the restrictions and all inhibitions put upon you in the name of god.

With quick steps you soon found yourself at the base of the curved brigde,

"Good afternoon Mr. Geto", your greeting came out in a rush, trying to ignore the warmth of your face, but your attempts at hiding your flustered state didn't go unnoticed by the man in front of you.

" Seems like you've been having quite a hectic day", smiling in his usual serene way Geto gracefully turns his head in your direction.

" Not any more than usual", calming your erratic heartbeat you slowly close the distance between the two of you and stand beside him on the arch of the bridge.

" It's really nice here", He remarked, his eyes sweeping across the tiny fishes swimming near the surface of the lake. You stared at him for a little while before finally asking the one thing that drew you to him the most.

" I always wondered, why do you come here everyday if you don't even want to go to the main shrine to pray?. Surely it's not just for this scenery."

" Hmmm? Pray for what?", Not particularly moved by your question he quizzically tilt his head.

"Well.....you know, the usual, success in job, finding a significant other or maybe even something materialistic? Although I doubt you're interested in the last one", you laugh a little to take the edge off your slightly personal question.

"Dreams come true through steadily applied efforts not praying", with his sage like appearance, his words didn't came off as a shock.

"Not the best thing to say to a shrine maiden but I guess it's somewhat true", Quipping back you just looked at him with a smile, silently revelling on your familiarity with each other.

"What about you? You never look like you're having fun while working here.... As if you're the one who's not satisfied with you're job" His voice took a more serious note and asked the question you always tried to push away but for the first time, you felt safe. Safe in talking about things what most people around you would call blasphemy.

"Yeah well, I wouldn't say it's my life's calling. It's basically following the ideals that has been written by others and just blindly following them day in and day out", just as you finished your sentence you realised how shallow and sad you just sounded but the slightly widened eyes of Geto was what made you mentally kick yourself before you hastily try to smooth things over.

" But! It's not that bad! Once you get used to-", after a few lighthearted words to clear the heavy atmosphere that was building up you were cut off with one long finger hovering just above your lips.

" It's okay, you don't have to worry about being judged with me", not touching your lips he quickly retreats his hand back,

"It's only natural to question your ideals and beliefs when you actually start thinking about them, it's a proof of growing up. I can say it was the same for me as well, I had thought I'd spend my whole life sequestered in 'that' place but...." His gaze takes on a far off quality as his words fade.

"What changed then?", Without even knowing why, you urged him to continue.

"Well, I grew up and realised mine were just idealistic views, far from practical."

"Wait! How old are you now?!", Unable to ignore your budding curiosity you went on,

With a soft flick to your cheek he snorted in amusement, his low baritone made you recognise your own rudeness as you rub the non existent pain off of your face.

"It's not polite to ask strangers their age, regardless of their gender, young lady".

"I'm sorry! It's just, your answer...... Was kinda vague so...." Trailing off, the fact that he didn't owed you any explanations dawned on you making you stop. But the sudden halt in your unabashed questioning didn't go unnoticed by the long haired man so he continued, as if reading your thoughts.

"Everyone's entitled to act idiotically every once in a while but you sure are abusing your privilege", he went on, after a few words of sass.

" It took a while but, I soon discovered my true feelings about the world I lived in and how I wanted to change it", The unshakeable conviction of his voice reverberated through your ears and there seemd to be more to the hint of darkness in his downcast eyes, but further questions left your brain as you felt genuine resolve through his words.

Before you could process what's happening, Geto pulled you in close, resting his hands on either side of the brigde railings, caging you inbetween the low wall and his body.

"How about we run away to a better world together?", not waiting for you to protest he spoke. The words falling from his lips were casual enough to make you overlook the outrageousness of their meaning and your oddly intimate position did nothing to stop your brain from short circuiting.

"The decision is yours y/n but I'll be waiting anyway," his voice seems to trail a little before he bends down, his thin lips ghosting over your right ear, " you see, I hate it when even the good gets destroyed along with the bad", with that he quickly pulles his body back, letting you have your personal space again.

"I'll come back here at 8 'o' clock tonight",

After announcing that smoothly, he turns his back away and walks off to the exit, leaving you gob smacked at his confusing words.You watch him saunter off, still to awestruck to move when you finally take a note of your own unsteady breaths and face that radiated heat rivaling the sun atop.

" Who would- even go along with that crazy idea", your meek words get lost in the now empty place but the longing in your eyes to see what lied beyond your conservative lifestyle was as clear as the autumn sky hanging above.

You turn your back on the place and jog off in an effort to escape your own complicated feelings on the matter. His casually spoken words clawed at your heart, an entire different life was just one step away and it was shocking to even you how much trust you were subconsciously putting in every single word he says.

The conflicting thoughts in your head kept you busy the entire walk from the bridge to at the door of the only home you had known for so many years and never once your feet held such hesitation as you entered the building to continue the tasks you had left behind for the momentary change you craved so much.

The evening passed by in a flash, the thumping of your heart only getting louder with each passing hour. You just got out of your bath and were getting ready to help with dinner when you heard two voices coming form one of the senior priestess's room

"I saw her talking to a man, he didn't looked like a -", their words weren't clear but one thing was. Their topic of discussion was you.

"No he was wearing a hakama", it was getting harder and harder to breath with every second. If they were to tell that to your other supervisors then it would become very difficult for you to live here.

"So he could be from a neighbouring temple, maybe just asking about something general?"

"But weren't they standing too close?"

Listening in from behind the door all you could make out was that they clearly saw you and Geto, but one thing was certain. You were about to be very strictly reprimanded for just having curiosity.

Before you could even think up of some excuses to get yourself out of this mess the previous offer of his night time rendezvous flashed in your mind. It got you thinking, if you were going to be made to stay under supervision for a while anyway then the least you could do was to meet Geto one more time so as to let him know that his idea was indeed crazy and that life wasn't that easy for you to give up on everything you've done until now just on a whim.

You couldn't exactly get to a proper conclusion, sure leaving seemed like the better option but the fact that you'll be heavily dependent on Geto for everything didn't sit will with you either. It's not like you had any other skills or connections and even if he said he'd take you with him, you weren't fully ready to trust him on that. Why would you? It's not like you two were connected or related in any way.

The meeting time was approaching fast and since it's dinner time soon most of the girls would be around the dining area to help. It was the perfect opportunity to slip out unnoticed and come back after explaining things to the kind person who brought a few extra colors in your dull life.

Shakily you made you way to the back door, knowing full well you're about to commit another offense.

In a few minutes you reached the bridge, it was empty right now, indicated that your are ether early or that maybe Geto was actually just messing with you and oddly enough you felt your stomach drop at the thought of the second option.

But before you could overthink out the negative options you sense eyes on your back and whirl around to see a happy looking Geto strutting towards you.

" I take it you have decided to entrust yourself to me?", Greeting you with his self assured words he smiles amicably at you.

" Actually- I've decided to not leave", you say, with both sadness and regret in your voice.

He listenes to you in silence, his face doesn't look convinced no matter how much you explain but he never interrupts you until you're finished.

" So, Is that what you really want? To rot in a place which binds you to unnecessary obligations?", He blankly says, after you're done.

"It's only natural to lose something in order to attain greater things y/n", steping in your personal space again he peers at you face, his eyes were slited enough to hide their true intentions yet leaving just enough space for the moonlight to give them an otherworldly glow.

His beautiful face just centimetres away from yours and before you can finish he grabs you by the chin and delivers a mind blowing kiss.

This wasn't good for your heart. Your previous resolve was melting, just like the rest of you. Geto quickly slipped his hot tongue inside your mouth, exploring every nook and cranny of it.

"Why are you going so far?", You ask, still not entirely convinced.

" Because we are the same, that's why I know what you want and I can give that to you. So trust me okay?", A few seconds pass as you both stare into each other, when you finally heave a sigh of defeat.

" I do want more than just a life of modesty,", having changed you decision yet again you look up at the man in a renewed resolve.

"That's my girl!", Almost excitedly he envelopes you in a warm hug,

"Well y/n? How exactly do you want to celebrate your new found freedom? ", giving his words a suggestive tone he leaned forward to press his lips against your ear, placing light kisses up and down its lobe.

A surge of heat runs through your confounded heart, voice raspy as you reply " Ofcourse I want to do it with you", the snickering above you made you realise the innuendo your words held,

" I meant the celebration! It as in the CELEBRATION OKAY?!", Frantically, you push against his chest to break your embrace, trying to explain the simple meaning behind your previous words but even so, you'd be lying to yourself if you said that the thought of sleeping with him never crossed your mind.

The unmarried virgin criteria you had to fulfill in order to be a shrine maiden was in the past now. So you couldn't find any reason to hold back now.

" I'd be an honor," Geto's melodious voice reverberated through the entire room and you whip your head upwards to look for the confirmation you needed.

With minimal amount of words Geto took you to a near by cottage, saying he atleast wanted your first time to be in a proper place. You thought he was staying at just a room in that cottage but it turned out he had rented the entire place.

For you, it was quite a luxurious thing, while it was something you'd love to revel in, you had other, more important matters to give your attention too.

With a soft click, Geto opens the bedroom door and ushers you in, you breathing coming out irregular, and you were almost shaking in both excitement and nervousness.

What if he doesn't like how I look like naked? Would he like it better if I had shaved? Wait- I hope I'm not wearing my ugly panties today!. While you were freting the small details, the long haired man quietly made his way towards the bed, where you sat, buring his face at the crook of your neck as his arms wrap themselves around you.

"White suites you",His voice rumbled in your ears, his tone as smooth and sweet as honey when he slipped his hand inside the collar of your top, parting the neatly tucked fabric until your chest was exposed. The sudden contact with the air and his hands made your nipples perk up. He fondles them a little while kissing up your neck and shoulders.

Slowly he undos the cloth belts that tied your red hakama to place and eventually you feel them loosen up and then down to the ground, leaving you in just your open white kosode.

Being so exposed in front of a man and that too for the first time made you instinctively cover your chest and crotch, but it was pointless really, because even your hands couldn't hide the dampness of your panties from the sharp eyes that seems to look straight through your meek attempt at modesty.

"Come on, show me everything", his eyes met yours, all attention on you and it was almost disconcerting how vulnerable his eyes made you feel.

Felling a warm rush of blood to your face, you slowly loosen the grip of your hands around your body, letting Suguru pry them off until they rested limply on your sides. Slowly you lie down flat on your back, shyly looking away.

"Getting embarrassed is fine, but there's no need to hid yourself, It's only natural to want to look at your lover's body",He says it with such low, sweet, seduction that your toes curl in response, the word 'lover' ringing in your ears sent your heart in a frenzy.

Slipping the rest of your garments off of your shoulders he gently kisses your ear, licking the contours of your jaw and all the way to the hollow of your throat. His mouth nibbed at the skin beneath as his smooth tongue caressed the marks it left behind.

Soon he latched his lips onto on of your nipples, his teeth grazing the hardened tips pulled a few moans out of you, his long hair tickled your skin wherever they fell and it took everything in you to stop yourself from grabbing onto them.

Moving lower, he soon reached your pussy, already dripping with arousal. You felt his breath on your folds as spreaded them with one of his hand and gave the smooth space inbetween a long lick.

Sucking on your clit with fervor, his arms around your hips traced it's dips and curves as he delves deeper into your moistened sex. Your moans were inevitable at this point, the feeling his mouth in the most intimate part of your body was making you shiver in ecstasy but as soon as he brought his hand near your hole you felt your thighs clench.

"Don't worry I'll only use one finger at a time to get you all nice and ready for later" Gentle reassurances flowed naturally out of his mouth as he covers his fingers in your slick before spreading your pussy more.

His digits push past your folds and buries themselves deep into your throbbing pussy, the sensation of being penetrated both new and arousing. Geto slowing moves his finger in and out as his tongue latches on to your clit again.

The sensations of being licked and fingered together intermingled in your body, bringing you closer to your release in no time. Although it was a good thing you didn't wanted to end it so quickly. He was undeniably good with his hands, knowing when exactly to add another finger or when to curl or rub them inside.

Maybe it's because it was your first time but the onslaught of your orgasm leaves you shaking and moaning wildly in the most unladylike ways you have ever acted. It was embarrassing how much you ended up enjoying while Geto did all the work.

Though he pushes you to your limit you can't help but want to watch his every movement, anticipation building inside you when he raises his head and props himself on his knees to get a better look at your blissed out face. You let out a sigh of longing as he bought his glistening digits to near your face as a proof of you how good he made you feel.

" I'm glad you like it honey", his voice dangerously seductive, he licks his fingers just as erotically, making you embarrassed.

" Let's move onto the part where you cum on my cock now shall we?", His crudeness may have been shocking but right now all you cared about was the cumming part so you let him manhandle your throbbing form until he properly lines himself up against your hole.

Suguru didn't removed his cloths fully, just loosened his hakama just enough to whip his member out.

" Deep breaths now y/n", his gentle guiding eased your mind, and so you relax your body to take him in because even if it's your first time, you were pretty sure he was big enough to make anyone ache.

A warm tingling pain tears through your core which soon mealted into something more euphoric, unbearably good even, making you cry out in ecstasy. He filled you up to the brim and you wondered how bad it will ache tomorrow. As soon as he bottomed out in you, the entire aura of the person about you changed and the room felt like it dropped a few degrees in temperature.

It was not what you'd expected as your first time. Not the painfully rough speed he started with. Not the large hand around your neck that threatened to cut off your air supply. And certainly not the cold, detached look in his face.

Even when your breathing was getting shallower by the second you still writhed in pleasure. It was alarming as to how much you were willing to entrust your entire self to Suguru who was nothing if not composed, keeping his hand firmly around your neck while thrusting his member in and out of your pussy, fucking you like some sort of rag doll.

Long gone was the mild mannered person you looked up at with heart eyes, maybe he was just different in bed, that's what you wanted to tell yourself but the lack of consent and the level of his roughness kept you from doing so.

He eventually let go of your neck, only to flip you on your stomach and shoved his cock inside from an even deeper angle. He didn't let you tap out until you came twice, with your third orgasm approaching just as fast.

The sumptuous heat from his body lingers on yours for sometime even after he pulls himself out

And you felt that the longer you stayed in his embrace, the more darkness seeped into you which would surely make you go numb eventually

You wanted to ask Geto what was happening but a few broken screams were the only thing you could make out, everything was sudden, how the pain made your vision go white to then pitch black and as your consciousness left your body all you could hear was Geto's calm voice.

" Next time you wake up, well be in a better world"

The few rustling sounds of fabric brought you back to the waking world, the dark blue skies outside with flashes of gold inbetween told you it was just the crack of dawn.

You slowly prop yourself up in a sitting position to look around the unfamiliar room.

You catch your reflection in the nearby window next to your bed, you looked the same save for the few indecipherable marks here and there.

" Good morning y/n", Quickly looking at your right, you see Geto just walking out of the bath, his mascular form only covered by a thin cottan kimono.

He was behaving normally, as if the events of last night didn't happen. So normally that you were starting to think you may have hallucinated the whole thing.

Walking towards your sitting form, Geto bends down to cup your jaw and layers his mouth on yours, the scent of his shampoo tingling your senses almost made you forget about everything else.

He breaks the kiss, gazing at your downcasted eyes, the heat from your face made him chuckle.

"Quite an innocent reaction considering all the things we've done", he smirks triumphantly at you, his eyes a mix of dark but intense passion. All the things huh. You thought. Your mind was still in a haze and it was talking longer to process your words and thoughts.

"What happened last night?, I can't remember everything properly", you were expecting straight answers, that how did you passed out or where you exactly were right now but Geto seemed to go off on his own tangent.

You were just like my past self,", were, he said. As if you're something else now. The man in front of you was changing his colors faster than you could comprehend his words and it was terrifying you.

"That's why it's my duty to show you everything that life has to offer, the entire extent of it. As long as you stay by my side.", Not paying an ounce of attention to your shocked state he want on,

" The people you were staying with before were only going to confuse you further, that's why I had to take you away".

"You are the most free and safest at my side, darling. But if you still want your preistess life back then, I'll be your god and you can spend the rest of your life worshipping me instead"

Of course, he didn't saw you as an equal who could stand beside him, you weren't even his lover, just someone below him who he needed to worship the ground he walked upon in. But even so, the fear you experienced just a few minutes ago dissipated, bringing back the curiosity that was at its height whenever he was around.

"Were you lonely?",Geto's eyes trailed up and down your face which halted in their track after hearing your words which oddly resembled pity.

" What-", the previously composed and slitted eyes expanded a little before his expression abruptly shifts, turning serious, making you flinch under its sharp gaze, the animosity that surrounded him contrasted with the previous tender kisses and touch.

With his one large hand he grabbed your face from the base of your jaw, painfully lifting it up until your entire body was a few centimetres above the surface of the bed.

" Listen up y/n, I didn't brought you here to dote on you and the only reason I wiped out your silly little shrine because I can't stand hypocrites who spread false teachings written by equally hypocritical people. It was your job to worship things you couldn't see before and now you have to do the same job for someone you can see. That's. All."

"Ofcourse, leaving isn't an option.I've turned your body into a reincarnated curse. If any of the Jujutsu tech people caught you roaming around, it'll be instant exorcism for you." He lets go of your face and sits next to your form, Geto was quite for a while, giving you time to sort out your own feelings on the matter.

You knew what was happening now. Inbetween those conceited words flashes of the warm blooded man behind the god slipped out and you had to resist the overwhelming urge to comfort the person who just confessed to have burnt down the shire you were living in just until a few days ago. Maybe your thought process was altered just like the rest of you body, or maybe you were always this crazy too.

The source of your sympathy was unknown but the twisted obsession of his was provided you with more solid answers.

Your meeting, the conversations, how you eloped together. All of it made sense now. He wanted to save you from the oppressive state of the place you had spend most of your life in, ofcourse he would. He was thinking of you in ways no one ever had. He loved you in ways no one ever will, or could for that matter.

And you,

You loved him too. You had to.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #smut #Jujutsu kaisen geto Suguru #suguru geto #geto suguru x reader #geto #jjk geto suguru #geto Suguru #Jujutsu kaisen x reader #Jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #geto Suguru smut #my writing #tw: Gaslighting #jujutsu kaisen scenario #jujutsu kaisen scenarios

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sigynpenniman · 3 years ago

Text

Julian Bashir Playlist Time!!

Apple Music playlist (if you're a heathen and subscribe to apple music like me) here

I know that there's plenty of people making playlists, but I really feel like this is an under-utilized brand of fan content. Instead of attempting to create a list of songs that Julian would listen to, or a playlist of songs which were all lyrically directly applicable (though there certainly some of those in here) regardless of genre, I tried to create something which captured, above all, his vibes instead, by choosing songs that balance at least somewhat relevant lyrical content with the energy or feel that I associate with the character. What it means matters, but not as much as how it makes you feel. That said, I signed up for apple music and read a TON of those overwrought iTunes store album review descriptions while I was making this, so I have a whole lot to say about all my choices here. In depth explanation of my symbolism and methodology behind each song under the keep reading. (I love tumblr. I want to write 1,000 words of analysis about why I picked songs to represent Julian Bashir and some of you are gonna read it. This is where I get to pretend to be one of those iTunes music writers. I feel joy.)

Good Morning - Two Door Cinema Club TDCC's Gameshow is high on my favorite albums of all time list for nebulous reasons I myself don't really understand. It was this album, though not this song (but one that will pop up later) that actually inspired me to make this playlist to begin with, as for some reason, from the color scheme of the album cover, to the overall vibe, to the ever-present references to illness, injury, surgery and healers in the lyrics, the whole thing feels inescapably Julian to me. And with an opening like I'm a sinner/I'm the victim/I'm an alien when I'm myself/I'm a healer/I'm a fixer/I'm a present danger to my health/I'm so strong/Doing what I'm supposed to do/ There's something wrong/With somebody like me, it's hard NOT to think about Julian when you hear this song, and I can't think of a better way to start this off.

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood I think there's a joke somewhere about bisexual people all liking Sweater Weather, and yeah, I resemble that remark. Sweater Weather is just good. You'll notice there's a sort of chill-indie-alt-electronic thing going here, and that is very much the vibe I'm sticking with. Sweater Weather slots in beautifully, both sonically and thematically. As the singer looks to warm and protect the person he's with from the cold, you can't help but feel a loving coziness coming off of this one. It always makes me feel cozy, at least, so it's here.

Gooey - Glass Animals I have nothing to analyze here because the artists themselves have said that the lyrics of this song have no meaning, they're just meant to capture a vibe, and capture it they do. Close your eyes and ride the vibes of this one. The energy is right, I love it, it belongs here.

Blue - Mika I could probably write a couple hundred words on Blue alone, in any context. This might be my beloved Mika's magnum Opus. Opening the song with the inherently counterintuitive lyric Blue is a feminine color, Mika manages to pack it ALL into this 3 minute song: questions about gender; concepts of sadness, joy, and their intersections; of the perception of melancholy as a flaw and loving people despite, or maybe because of, those "flaws" and anything else about them; a powerful first person reassurance that made me start weeping in my car the first time I heard it; just the phrase "why are humans cruel to you." And oh boy, ARE there questions of gender. Why is blue NOT considered a feminine color? Is that a good thing, a bad thing? In 3 minutes of artful poetry, Mika manages to wrap up sadness, love, joy, pain, the feminine that exists within the masculine and the masculine that exists within the feminine, in the simple color of blue and then, in one lyric, validates it all. And on a much simpler and more obvious note, this is in fact all a philosophic musing on the symbolic meaning of the color we see Julian wearing almost all the time (when he's not in uniform, almost all his civvies are also shades of blue.) I feel like this is one of those songs that's hard to analyze because it does what music and poetry does best - communicate something that cannot be communicated any other way. With these broad themes of loving others around the things they can't love about themselves, you can decide for yourself if this one is coming FROM Julian or directed AT him, either works. I find myself struggling for exactly the words to explain this one, but listen to it; you'll understand.

Little Dark Age - MGMT Another choice with no obvious lyrical relevance, but the tonal fit was just too good to pass up. The vibes pass.

The City - The 1975 This song is one of several present because it leans on medical symbolism to get its point across, though I would be lying if I said I fully understood what that point was. But the entire second verse, apparently about the song's subject suffering from some kind of illness and reassuring him that the next one's the M.D./You'll be feeling just fine, seems somehow to transmit the discomfort of illness directly to the listener. I don't know how or why, but the effectiveness of the empathy the second half of this song elicits, in me at least, puts it squarely in the "odd medical vibes" category.

Surgery - Two Door Cinema Club THIS is the song that inspired this whole playlist, mostly because of its title and general vibe. Another example (of many) of medical/anatomical references in this album (another of the songs is called Fever, etc), this song just feels like Julian to me.

The Other Side Of Paradise - Glass Animals I really like Glass Animals. That is probably becoming obvious. Aside from its delightfully cohesive vibes, this song opens with what's simultaneously the slyest and most brazen gay lyric I have heard on the radio recently, as the male singer says When I was young and stupid my love left to be a rock and roll star/HE told me... The song seems to be about a man whose male lover left him in pursuit of fame and fortune, and eventually ends up with a woman, leaving the singer behind. It's got simultaneously subtle and obvious gay themes, it's got confused love affairs, it's got so much bisexual energy. I cannot think of anything that could be more Julian.

Sit Next To Me - Foster The People Kind of like Sweater Weather, this whole song is built around a rather cute and sweet "sit next to me," and you can't help but feel a bit warm and cozy when you listen to it. I think it pairs with sweater weather well, and slides in with the rest of the picks very nicely.

Nothing Better - The Postal Service (the original band of the lead singer of Death Cab For Cutie) Another example of heavy surgical symbolism, the very first lyric of this song is Will someone please call a surgeon. This is actually a duet, and the singers speak of their real hearts to represent their emotional ones. Something about Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures always gets me and always will. And it vibes good. It vibes so, so good.

&Run - Sir Sly Sir Sly's &Run is my favorite song for driving too fast. It does an amazing job of musical onomatopoeia, talking about running while making you want to run. It's a song about running out of plans and running as far as you can instead, which is all very "I'm illegal by definition so I went to the farthest possible reaches of space." And like everything else here, it just feels good. It's also one of the only highlights here that I can actually see Julian listening to.

Cosmic Love - Florence and the Machine It's no coincidence that it seems like most of us who are invested in Julian Bashir are some flavor of genderqueer, be it trans, nonbinary, questioning, or something else entirely - the man's got a Gender with a capital G, and there's a whole lot going on in there. Between the words that were written for him on the page, and the words that were actually spoken, and the way he carries himself, Julian always seems caught between the white, western, and frequently toxic masculinity that the writers often seemed to want to imbue him with, and the very different, racially and culturally distinct masculinity Sid actually brought. But there's an undeniable element of the feminine in Julian too, at least by a traditional definition. The presence of this part of him at all, much less the fact that, in-universe, it's the more traditionally "feminine" parts of himself - the caregiving and nurturing aspects - that Julian seems proudest of or to like most about himself, is a large part of what makes his character so interesting, at least to me. So there was no way I was getting out of this without acknowledging that somehow, and I can't think of a better way to acknowledge a complicated relationship with the feminine side of one's own gender than with this world's own Celtic divine feminine, Florence Welch. I can't think of any better artist, at least that I know of, to represent femininity as a nonspecific ethereal goddess-concept. I basically spun the wheel of Florence here, as anything would have worked, but Cosmic Love felt very appropriate for a character who does in fact live in space. There could even be some Garashir in here, I think.

Dream Sweet In Sea Major - ミラクルミュージカル, or Miracle Musical, a sister act made up of members of Tally Hall I also couldn't leave off without acknowledging Julian's affection for classic lounge music, especially since it's the only thing about his taste in music that we actually know. But instead of tacking on some rat pack, instead I'm polishing this off with the incredibly chaotic and somehow also perfectly cohesive and calm Dream Sweet in Sea Major. It's got all of the vibes of a lounge singer but gone completely off the rails, which just seems perfect somehow. And it's also a very nice feeling to be left with, so it seems only right to put it at the end.

and if you've read all of this, I love you. Y'all didn't know I was this into music did you. but I am. oh boy. I AM.

#julian bashir #playlists #Spotify

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itsclydebitches · 3 years ago

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Here's a quandary I've suddenly found myself in: where do you stand on writers deleting their own works, fanfiction or otherwise? I've had this happen to me on more than one occasion - I go to look for an old favorite and find it's since been deleted from whatever site I read it on.

On the one hand, I'm inclined to think that, "Sure. The author wrote it, it's their call. I don't own the work - I certainly didn't pay for it. It's their decision, even if it's disappointing."

But at the same time I can't help but consider the alternative - if I believe in death of the author (and I do), that an author's work fundamentally isn't solely theirs once it's been published, posted, etc., then it also seems wrong to have a work deleted. Stories aren't the sole property of their creator, after all.

But then I circle back. D'you think there are different obligations between authors and readers and the works being made in fandom space? I know if I had bought a book and the author decided they wanted it back, I would feel pretty comfortable telling them no, given I'd paid for it and whatnot. But that's a different world from fanfic and fandom space generally.

So. You're insightful Clyde, I'm curious as to what you'll have to say here (and to all y'all thinking about it, don't flame me. I haven't decided where I stand here yet - haven't heard a good nail-in-the-coffin argument for or against yet).

Val are you a mind reader now? I’ve been thinking about this exact conundrum the last few days!

(And yeah, as a general disclaimer: no flaming. Not allowed. Any asks of the sort will be deleted on sight and with great satisfaction.)

Honestly, I’m not sure there is a “nail-in-the-coffin argument” for this, just because—as you lay out—there are really good points for keeping works around and really good points for allowing authors to have control over their work, especially when fanworks have no payment/legal obligations attached. In mainstream entertainment, your stories reflect a collaborative effort (publisher, editor, cover artists, etc.) so even if it were possible to delete the physical books out of everyone’s home and library (and we're ignoring the censorship angle for the moment), that’s no longer solely the author’s call, even if they have done the lion’s share of the creative work. Though fanworks can also, obviously, be collaborative, they’re usually not collaborative in the same way (more “This fic idea came about from discord conversations, a couple tumblr posts, and that one headcanon on reddit”) and they certainly don’t have the same monetary, legal, and professional strings attached. I wrote this fic as a hobby in my free time. Don’t I have the right to delete it like I also have the right to tear apart the blankets I knit?

Well yes… but also no? I personally view fanworks as akin to gifts—the academic term for our communities is literally “gift economy”—so if we view it like that, suddenly that discomfort with getting rid of works is more pronounced. If I not only knit a blanket, but then gift it to a friend, it would indeed feel outside of my rights to randomly knock on their door one day and go, “I actually decided I hate that? Please give it back so I can tear it to shreds, thanks :)” That’s so rude! And any real friend would try to talk me out of it, explaining both why they love the blanket and, even if it’s not technically the best in terms of craftsmanship, it holds significant emotional value to them. Save it for that reason alone, at least. Fanworks carry that same meaning—“I don’t care if it’s full of typos, super cliché, and using some outdated, uncomfortable tropes. This story meant so much to me as a teenager and I’ll always love it”—but the difference in medium and relationships means it’s easier to ignore all that. I’m not going up to someone’s house and asking face-to-face to destroy something I gave them (which is awkward as hell. That alone deters us), I’m just pressing a button on my computer. I’m not asking this of a personal friend that is involved in my IRL experiences, I’m (mostly) doing this to online peers I know little, if anything, about. It’s easy to distance ourselves from both the impact of our creative work and the act of getting rid of it while online. On the flip-side though, it’s also easier to demean that work and forget that the author is a real person who put a lot of effort into this creation. If someone didn’t like my knitted blanket I gave them as a gift, they’re unlikely to tell me that. They recognize that it’s impolite and that the act of creating something for them is more important than the construction’s craftsmanship. For fanworks though, with everyone spread around the world and using made up identities, people have fewer filters, happily tearing authors to shreds in the comments, sending anon hate, and the like. The fact that we’re both prefacing this conversation with, “Please don’t flame” emphasizes that. So if I wrote a fic with some iffy tropes, “cringy” dialogue, numerous typos, whatever and enough people decided to drag me for it… I don’t know whether I’d resist the urge to just delete the fic, hopefully ending those interactions. There’s a reason why we’re constantly reminding others to express when they enjoy someone else’s work: the ratio of praise to criticism in fandom (or simply praise to seeming indifference because there was no public reaction at all), is horribly skewed.

So I personally can’t blame anyone for deleting. I’d like to hope that more people realize the importance of keeping fanworks around, that everything you put out there is loved by someone… but I’m well aware that the reality is far more complicated. It’s hard to keep that in mind. It’s hard to keep something around that you personally no longer like. Harder still to keep up a work you might be harassed over, that someone IRL discovered, that you’re disgusted with because you didn’t know better back then… there are lots of reasons why people delete and I ultimately can’t fault them for that. I think the reasons why people delete stem more from problems in fandom culture at large—trolling, legal issues, lack of positive feedback, cancel culture, etc.—than anything the author has or has not personally done, and since such work is meant to be a part of an enjoyable hobby… I can’t rightly tell anyone to shoulder those problems, problems they can’t solve themselves, just for the sake of mine or others’ enjoyment. The reason I’ve been thinking about this lately is because I was discussing Attack on Titan and how much I dislike the source material now, resulting in a very uncomfortable relationship with the fics I wrote a few years back. I’ve personally decided to keep them up and that’s largely because some have received fantastic feedback and I’m aware of how it will hurt those still in the fandom if I take them down. So if a positive experience is the cornerstone of me keeping fics up, I can only assume that negative experiences would likewise been the cornerstone of taking them down. And if getting rid of that fic helps your mental health, or solves a bullying problem, or just makes you happier… that, to me, is always more important than the fic itself.

But, of course, it’s still devastating for everyone who loses the work, which is why my compromise-y answer is to embrace options like AO3’s phenomenal orphaning policy. That’s a fantastic middle ground between saving fanworks and allowing authors to distances themselves from them. I’ve also gotten a lot more proactive about saving the works I want to have around in the future. Regardless of whether we agree with deleting works or not, the reality is we do live in a world where it happens, so best to take action on our own to save what we want to keep around. Though I respect an author’s right to delete, I also respect the reader’s right to maintain access to the work, once published, in whatever way they can. That's probably my real answer here: authors have their rights, but readers have their rights too, so if you decide to publish in the first place, be aware that these rights might, at some point, clash. I download all my favorite fics to Calibre and, when I’m earning more money (lol) I hope to print and bind many for my personal library. I’m also willing to re-share fic if others are looking for them, in order to celebrate the author’s work even if they no longer want anything to do with it. Not fanfiction in this case, but one of my fondest memories was being really into Phantom of the Opera as a kid and wanting, oh so desperately, to read Susan Kay’s Phantom. Problem was, it was out of print at the time, not available at my library, and this was before the age of popping online and finding a used copy. For all intents and purposes, based on my personal situation, this was a case of a book just disappearing from the world. So when an old fandom mom on the message boards I frequented offered to type her copy up chapter by chapter and share it with me, you can only imagine how overjoyed I was. Idk what her own situation was that something like scanning wouldn’t work, but the point is she spent months helping a fandom kid she barely knew simply because a story had resonated with her and she wanted to share it. That shit is powerful!

So if someone wants to delete—if that’s something they need right now—I believe that is, ultimately, their decision… but please try your hardest to remember that the art you put out into the world is having an impact and people will absolutely miss it when it’s gone. Often to the point of doing everything they can to put it back out into the world even if you decide to take it out. Hold onto that feeling. The love you have for your favorite fic, fanart, meta, whatever it is? Someone else has that for your work too. I guarantee it.

So take things down as needed, but for the love of everything keep copies for yourself. You may very well want to give it back to the world someday.

#fandom #fic things #mymetas #never any easy questions on this blog huh? lol

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catzula · 4 years ago

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》 Kiss it better

a/n: 200 followers guys, thank you so much for that! I feel like I should do something to celebrate, but I have literally no ideas. If you have any suggestions, please tell me!

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem!reader

Warnings: Bullying -a lot-, angst, tons and tons of fluff

》Synopsis: You, one of Nekoma’s cheerleaders, made a bet with the captain of the Nekoma Volleyball team, that they’re going to lose to Aoba Jouhsai in the upcoming match. And- you’re failing chemistry.《

"Sensei, please don't do this." You begged. "I really want to go!"

Your teacher's eyes wandered on your pleading face, and she sighed.

"I don't get any say in this. You're failing chemistry, and if you don't pass this make-up exam, I can't let you go to the match."

You knew her answer was final, so you sighed, trying not to cry. This was supposed to be your first match, and you couldn't even go! "At least let me attend the training? Just so that if a miracle happens, I'll be ready?"

She shrugged. "If you think you can pass the exam and attend training, why not? I don't really care what you do, to be honest, as long as you pass."

Yeah, that's not happening, you thought but held your tongue.

"Oh, come on, don't look so grim. You're a smart girl, I'm sure you'll do it."

Though it did feel nice having her believe in you, you just couldn't be as positive as she was, but you managed to fake a smile. "Yeah, I'm sure it'll be okay. I still have to go back before I'm too late, though." This was the first time you were going to train in your cheerleading outfit, and you were too excited to see it on yourself.

She sent you a sympathetic look as she ruffled your hair slightly and went her way. You sighed. Chemistry was something you just weren't able to comprehend. Regardless of how much you studied that damn subject, you could swear you just got worse.

You quickly changed into the bright red two-piece outfit, it had black stripes on the sides and a big NEKOMA right on your chest. The black and red skirt was a little too short for your liking, but who were you to complain? You were just happy you even got to wear it.

"You're late." The captain told you as she saw you entering the gym. The rest of the team was already in their places, practicing, but stopped when they too noticed you.

"I'm sorry, I was with sensei." You apologized with a smile. "What did she say?" She asked, her large, green-blue eyes looking at you curiously. She was the same age as you, though she had a way of making you feel... smaller next to her.

"I- uh..." You looked at the girls that stared back at you with slightly narrowed eyes, making you feel a bit self-conscious. "I- I'm failing chemistry, so I have to take the exam next week. She told me I can't go to the match if I fail."

You thought the topic would be over, but apparently not. "And?" She asked, confusing you with the question. "And?" You repeated.

"Are you going to fail?" She questioned, looking at you like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I hope not." You faked a giggle, feeling uncomfortable under the gaze of the girls, judging you.

"You should tell us if you're going to fail, you know. So that we can add you to the choreograpyh."

"O-oh, don't worry." I'm sure I'll do fine." Oh, you were anything but sure, though you figured it was better if you didn't tell her that.

"Good. Then get to your position. You have the choreography memorized, right? Last time you were a bit... sloppy." You tried to ignore one of the girls giggling. "Yeah, I know it all by now."

Finally, she smiled. You weren't sure if the smile was genuine or not, but just seeing her smile made you feel relaxed. "That's really nice, Y/N-chan!" She clapped her hands to gain attention. "Now, let's start before the volleyball team comes."

Everybody knew that was the opposite of what she actually wanted since her crush on the volleyball team's captain was now more than known, but you chose not to call her out. You knew she wasn't a fan of you already, so it was better to keep your mouth shut, you decided.

You didn't know why, but the girls seemed to have something against you since they always did their best to exclude you from things, though you tried not to think much about it.

When the captain started to count, you stopped thinking and danced along instead.

***

"Aah- that was tiring. She's too ruthless sometimes!" A girl from your team exclaimed as she sipped on her water, eyeing the pretty captain. The captain was known to be one of the prettiest girls in school and was frequently asked out by guys, though most were aware she only had eyes for one man. It had been a big surprise to everyone when Kuroo had rejected her, though.

Almost every girl in school had a crush on Kuroo, thinking of him as this cool, cold guy that had rejected even the prettiest girl in school, but in reality, he was just too busy with volleyball and his lessons. To be fair, you wouldn't have known he was a huge dork either if you weren't in the same class with him and had this weird friendship/arch enemy thing going on, either.

You weren't exactly friends with him, though. More like bickering constantly, but also having weird inside jokes. You were close but also...not friends. Maybe that was why the girls didn't like you, since you always argued with the guy they wanted to date. But it wasn't your fault he was too much fun to tease!

Teasing Kuroo was something you couldn't stop yourself from doing, and you weren't the only one that liked to make fun of the other, since Kuroo always managed to pick a fight with you, too. It wasn't genuine arguments, more like challenges, dares and bets, -you joining the cheering team was a dare you had with Kuroo, too- and because of the constant challenges you had with their captain, the volleyball team loved you, too.

"I think they're coming!" A girl whisper-yelled, causing everyone's eyes to turn to the door. She was right since the loud laughs, footsteps, and jokes were hard to miss as they approached the gym door.

Kuroo was the first to enter, his hair as messy as ever, one of his arms was on Kenma's head, just showing how much longer he was than him.

You watched as Kenma's eyes averted to the big group of girls watching them, his eyes widening with anxiety as he turned his gaze immediately to the ground, causing his hair to fall in his face and hide him.

"Oh, hey Kuroo-Kun!" The captain exclaimed with a bright smile as she went towards them, hopping like a bunny.

"Hey." He greeted her back, the sleazy smile on his face causing your heartbeat to double, even though you didn't want to admit. "I thought you said you were going to be done with training by four." You knew Kuroo didn't mean it negatively, though the captain looked like she was panicking, looking around frantically to find a good excuse.

"Ah, w-we have a newbie, you see. We kinda had to move slower for her to catch up." She finally answered as her eyes found yours, though instantly turned back to Kuroo's cat-like ones.

You grimaced at the sudden attack, trying to stop yourself before you blurted out that she was lying. You understood why she would do so, but you hated it when people used you in their lies. "Oh, a newcomer," Kuroo muttered, his eyes wandering in the room lazily, as he tried to find your figure. Of course, Kuroo knew you were new in the team, he was the one who challenged you in the first place, but the cheerleading team didn't know that, and neither of you had the intention to tell them.

"She just came, so she's still pretty slow." The captain continued with a small giggle, her words making your heart sink. It was true, you were new, but you had been practicing the last few weeks, and you had almost caught up with the rest, so it wasn't fair of her to say so.

Though Kuroo seemed to pay her no mind, instead, he walked towards you with a grin on his face. "New meat!" He joked -it was really bad, though you managed to force a laugh out- and the captain followed him, now both standing next to you and watching your every move like animals watching its prey.

Kuroo seemed like he wanted to chat with you, though before he could do so, the captain sighed. "Though we're not sure if she's even going to be able to come to the match."

Your eyes narrowed, but you chose to stay silent.

"Why is that?" Kuroo asked, confusion evident on his face with the sudden and unwanted information. "Oh, she's failing chemistry, so sensei didn't let her come to the match."

"If I fail the exam, I won't be able to come." You added when she talked about it like you had already failed. "Oh, yeah! That's what I said." She told you with an innocent smile.

You would have said something, but before you could do so, you heard the familiar sound of a volleyball hitting the ground. The captain's eyes gazed at Lev, who had just done a spike and was screaming victoriously. "Guess that means our time is over." She giggled like what she said was funny.

"The practice is over girls, go get some rest!" She ignored the grunts of relief coming from your team and turned back to Kuroo. "You know, it was nice seeing you. Don't you think we should do this more often?"

You really didn't want to hear them flirting, so you went to change your clothes without saying anything to them.

***

You were the last one to finish changing and stepped out of the room as you tried to detangle your headphones. You were so concentrated on doing so, that you didn't even see the boy leaning to the wall, watching you.

"Hey," he muttered, making you shriek in surprise. The way your widened eyes looked at him, he couldn't help but giggle.

"What the fuck, Kuroo!" You exclaimed, trying to get the shock wash away as you breathed deeply. "Hey, I'm the 6'2 (187 cm for people like me hehe) one here, how should I know you're dumb enough not to see me?"

"How should I know you would creep up on me like that?" You shot back, and although you knew it was kind of your fault, you weren't going to admit that to him.

He looked at you with a fake I'm offended look. "First of all, I didn't creep up on you."

"Then what are you doing here?" You asked, though your voice was a little softer this time. He hadn't actually waited for you, did he? No, he wouldn't do that, unless...unless he wanted to tease you about the chemistry thing.

You sighed as you finally understood why he was here, looking at you with that lazy smile and taking your breath away in the process. "Ah, look if you're here about me failing chemistry, please shut it." You told him as you rolled your eyes. "The captain already had a lot to say about it." You murmured, your words not really intended for him to hear.

"Well," his hand went to the back of his neck, blush dusting his cheeks ever so slightly, his odd hair falling to his face, making you wonder what would it feel like if you were to run your finger through them. Would it be soft? Spiky? Or maybe-

"I was actually going to tell you I could... uh... help you with that, ya know." The lazy smile now resembling a little boy's grin, you would have thought he was embarrassed if you didn't know better.

Your narrowed eyes found his, trying to understand the motive behind his words. " What do you mean, help me with that?"

He giggled at your question. He had an expression on his face, one you were so used to see, though couldn't yet understand what it meant. It kind of looked like he wanted to ruffle your hair and pinch your cheeks, but not quite. "Help you with chemistry, how else?"

You bit your lip, trying to find out what he was up to. "And what are you getting out of it?" You finally asked as you gave up trying to understand him.

"I’m a good person too, you know." He told you with a huff, he still had his teasing manner, though. "Can’t I be doing this out of my goodness?" If it were anyone else saying this, you might have believed them, but not with Kuroo. Sure, you joked around and teased each other, but your whole friendship -if you could call it that- was based on challenges, bets, deception, and who would trick who.

"No way I'll believe that. I'm not dumb, you know." You murmured the last bit since it kind of bothered you since it seemed like everybody thought so.

"Though you're failing chem, arent you?" He teased, causing you to send him a glare. "I-"

You were ready and steady to fight with him over that comment, but he only giggled and put his hand on your shoulder as if he was trying to steady or calm you. His hand was unconventionally warm, fingers calloused and hard, though it didn't bother you the slightest bit. It was rather scary how much you enjoyed his touch.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He told you, laughing as he shook his head side to side. "You're too easy to rile up, ya know? I'm offering to help since it's me who challenged you to join the cheering team, so you might kind of say it's my fault at this point."

When you kept looking at him, he furrowed his brows. "I'm telling you I'm just feeling guilty! It's nothing too complicated." He looked rather hurt at how suspicious you looked.

"And?" You pressed on, knowing too damn well it wasn't only his conscious that led him to reach a helping hand at you. There had to be something else.

He sighed finally, obviously giving up. "And- I kinda wanna see you cheering for me." He grinned. "Call it 'satisfacting my ego'." He only grinned wider when you shot him a disgusted look.

"I knew there was something else." You just muttered.

"Eh," He shrugged. "I'm gonna need every boost I can have if I'm going to play against Oikawa." He said it so casually, you couldn't perceive what he said for a second or so.

"You're- you're playing against Aoba Jousai?" You blurted out, mouth agape. You hadn't even realized till now that you didn't even know who they were playing against. Clearly, he was thinking the same thing.

"You didn’t even know? And you're supposed to be our cheerleader." He clicked his mouth in a disapproving manner and shook his head side to side.

You ignored his remark. "There is no way you can win against him, you know."

He snickered at your blunt response. "I see you've become especially good at cheering and motivating."

You grinned. "Shoot me for telling the truth. It's Oikawa we're talking about."

"And? What about him?"

"He's one of the hottest and most talented men around, and you know it." You told him as you watched his grin fade to annoyance. "He's not hot!"

"No need to get all jealous, Kuroo." You giggled when he grimaced. "Me? Jealous of that- that... guy?!"

You shrugged just to piss him off.

"Well then, what will you do when we beat your oh-so-great Oikawa?" His playful grin was back, now wider than ever, and it pissed you off, how good he looked.

"Is that a bet?"

"Of course it is." He answered, like it was only normal.

"I'm not betting against my own team!" You exclaimed, feeling your cheeks heating up a bit. How did teasing him come to this, anyway?!

"What will you do?" He pressed on, and you were aware he wouldn't let it go until you bet with him, so you sighed as if you accepted defeat. "What do you want me to do?"

"Hmm," He tapped his chin as he considered the choices (he had been trying to make this bet with you for a week and had been planning how to get you to agree to it, it was surprisingly easy, though, since he was a mastermind at planning and stuff, even though he didn't show it much). His honey-colored eyes glistened when he decided what he wanted you to do. "You're gonna wear those cat ears for a week."

By those cat ears, he meant the ones that were a part of the cheering costume but were excluded since they were too hard to dance with. The first time you tried them on, Kuroo had laughed ten minutes straight and would've taken a photo if you hadn't ripped them off your head and threw them right in the middle of his face.

"Oh, it’s on." You shot back without thinking much about it. "Only if you wear them a week if you lose against them, too, though." You added with a smile that warmed his heart.

"Deal." He grinned.

You had no idea that he had been planning this for a long time, so what seemed like an innocent, fair bet was actually almost guaranteed you to lose. The penalty was the first thing he had thought about the bet, the rest came later to him, so he was literally planning how to get you to wear those cat ears for... a month. Not that you needed to know about that, though.

"Deal." You smiled.

***

You watched as Kuroo jumped, so high, that it made you wonder if he could secretly fly. His hand up in the air, coming down so fast to spike the ball. A grin was on his face, knowing damn well what you were probably thinking, as you watched him.

He smacked the ball with so much force, you gasped. You always knew he was strong, and he was fast -he was the Nekoma team captain, after all- but you never knew he was... this good.

When he landed back on his feet, looking at your flustered face was the first thing he did. Your mouth still slightly agape as you watched the ball that was now on the other side of the court, Kuroo thought it was one of the cutest things he saw.

"So," he asked with a cocky grin, "Still think Oikawa is better than me?"

You stood silent for a few seconds and then looked at his golden eyes. "Are you kidding me?!" You exclaimed, and just when he thought he was finally going to see you admitting he was, in fact, better than that Oikawa guy, you chuckled. "Oikawa could murder you, Kuroo. Don't get too full of yourself."

"What?" He asked in a rather cold voice that sent chills down your spine, though knowing it was just Kuroo, you ignored the threatening tone. "Don't try to intimidate me with that look, you asked the question, so you should be prepared for the answer, too."

"Did you- did you not see my spike just then? It was amazing!" You shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, knowing he was fuming inside. He was going to keep on arguing, if it wasn't for Lev, who was cheerfully calling out for you.

''Y/N-san, could you throw me some balls, too?" He told you when he came next to you in two long strides.

"Sure-" You answered, but Kuroo interrupted. "No."

It was the threatening, cold voice he used that always managed to frighten Lev, just a little bit. "But Kuroo-san! She's been throwing you balls the last hour!" He whined, making you giggle. "He's right, you know. It's only fair if I help him, too." You told Kuroo, desperately trying not to laugh when you saw him pouting.

"No! He can work with Kenma, I'm the one that's helping you with chemistry, aren't? So you should help me with this." He told you, his hand pulling you away from Lev and closer to himself.

"You're the one who suggested helping me! And you forced me to throw you balls, too."

You shook your head side to side when Kuroo ignored you. "Lev, you either go practice spikes with Kenma right now, or you're running laps the rest of the practice."

You saw Lev's eyes widening as he hurriedly walked towards Kenma, though muttering to himself, "This is no fair. He gets to practice with the pretty girl!"

Kuroo took another ball from the basket and gave it to you, though he was still pouting. "I can't believe you were really going to choose him over me. You should be happy you're getting to practice with me. But no, it's always someone else, isn't it?" He mumbled under his breath as you bit your lips to try and not laugh. You knew he was only joking, he always was.

You sent the ball to the air, just a bit over his head as he jumped and hit the ball, harder than the last time, and with the sound of his hand hitting the ball, you also heard a pained grunt coming from him.

He sat on the floor, clutching his hand to his chest, and you felt your heart beating rapidly in your chest at the sight. "K-Kuroo, what happened? Are you okay? We should go to the infirmary!"

You tried to get him to stand on his feet, but he shook his head side to side, rather pulling you to sit down next to him. "I'm okay," he told you with a small smile. "It came straight down on my finger, so it hurts a little, but it happens more than you would believe. I should just bandage it, putting some ice on it would help, too."

Hearing it wasn't a big deal did have its effect on your crazy heartbeat, slowing it a bit, but you were still worried more than you would like to accept. You stood up, quickly gathering some bandages and ice, and walked back to him.

As you took his hand and analyzed the finger, you noticed it was only a bit red and that he was right, it wasn't a big deal, but you were still mad at him. "What the fuck, Kuroo?!" You muttered angrily as you pressed the ice on his hand, he hissed with the sudden contact.

"I didn't do it on purpose!" He shot back.

"You have to be more careful! What if something else had happened? What if it wasn't just okay with ice and bandages?! The school and your team need you, you know they do!"

You sighed when he stayed silent. "I thought you wanted to beat Oikawa, and you can't do it injured. You want to wear those cat ears, I presume?" You joked, and he smiled.

"So you think I can beat him if I'm not injured, huh? I think it's you who wants to wear the cat ears."

You noticed your mistake, your cheeks burning slightly, but chose not to answer him since you knew he would just tease you further if you did. "Here you go, it's all better." You told him when you were done with bandaging.

"Aren't you gonna kiss it better?" He asked with a teasing grin, and you rolled your eyes. "In your dreams, you big baby."

"But it still hurts, Y/N! It can't get better if you don't kiss it! The team needs me, you said it yourself!"

"Kuroo," you groaned, but he just pointed at his cheek. "Come on, no need to be shy." That jerk and his stupidly good looking grin. You weren't really sure why, but you leaned in, your face getting closer to his cheek. You only noticed what you were actually doing when you were so close to him that you could smell the light scent of smell mixed with his natural, woody scent.

"You stink." You lied.

"But you were about to kiss it better!" He whined as you stood up, and internally screamed at yourself for actually considering kissing him. "Shut up, I'm tired. Just text me when you're done with the practice." You told him as you walked to the exit, you needed the fresh breath of air.

***

"I deem you beyond hope. These are the basics of chemistry. How -the fuck- are you so bad at them?"

"I don't know!" You groaned for the millionth time. "I just can't do it, okay?" He rolled his eyes when you pouted. Maybe you were acting a tad too childish, but no one liked to be reminded of how dumb they were, especially not from a guy as hot as him.

"Okay, okay." He finally said when you kept pouting. "Let's take a break." He didn't miss your cute smile when you heard the word 'break'.

"How are you so bad at it, anyway? You're not as bad in the other subjects..." He then realized he had no idea how your other subjects were. "Right?" He asked, this time a little less confident.

"No." You told him with a glare. "It's something between me and chemistry, we just don't get along." You sighed, and without thinking much about it, you added, "chem is a mystery to me." Not expecting his eyes to widen and gasp at your small word game, you quirked your brow. "What?"

"Did you- did you just do a joke?!" He looked so genuinely shocked, you pouted.

"I am capable of joking!" You answered his accusation, noticing his grin. "Huh," he mumbled, "Since you never laugh at mine, I thought you just didn't understand them."

"I'll strangle you, Kuroo." You answered though you were smiling. "You were about to kiss me an hour ago, what's with the attitude?" He teased, and he thought it was the best thing, how horrified you looked at the accusation.

"I- I didn't- I wasn't going to-" As you choked on your words, he was having the time of his life. You faked a cough to try and hide how flustered you were, a pathetic attempt, really.

"Huh? You weren't going to kiss me? Is that what you're saying? Are you a liar, too, Y/N-chan?"

"Kuroo, shut the fuck up." You mumbled when you finally found it in yourself to form words. "How rude, princess." He giggled, dropping the topic and not even realizing the effect the pet name had on you.

"Don't call me that, jackass." You tried to be as rude as you could to hide the soft part of you showing, but he noticed, he always did.

"What, princess?"

When you didn't answer him, he grinned and leaned a little closer to you. "Is it making you excited, princess?"

"No way!" You blurted out. "Why should I get excited over you? It's just- weird." You answered, and he didn't press it on, though you could still feel his mocking eyes on you, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

***

"Hey!" You called out when you saw one small and one abnormally tall silhouette. "Kenma, Lev, could you guys help me out a bit?" You had two large boxes on your hands, hiding your face from them, but they instantly knew who you were.

"What are you doing?" Lev asked as he took the larger box from you, Kenma was holding one of the small boxes you had left behind to get on a second trip.

"Oh, it's the cheerleading equipment, they asked me if I could take them."

"All of them?" Kenma asked, a brow quirking questioningly. "Yeah, you know, being new and stuff I guess." You told with a little giggle.

"Yeah, no." Kenma told you with a monotone voice. "It's not being new and stuff, and don't think we missed how they're acting towards you." He looked at Lev. "Even he noticed it."

"Hey, what does that mean?!"

"They're not the kindest people around, that I admit." You answered. "But it's not unbearable, so..." You sent him a cheeky grin.

Kenma shrugged. "Whatever you say, just know what they're doing is not normal, and it's probably just gonna get worse."

You knew he was right, but the topic made you uncomfortable, so you just shrugged.

***

Hanging out with Kuroo was fun, you had to admit. Even though you were just studying, it was too much fun.

"How are you feeling? Are you stressed? Do you think you're ready? Do you think you'll pass? Oh my god, why am I so stressed?!" Kuroo blabbered on as he shook you by your shoulders with every word. "I'm okay, Kuroo. I'm feeling pretty good, actually, I think I'm ready."

He looked at you with worried eyes, though they looked a bit more relieved than they were just then.

"Okay, then. Go break a leg? Is that what you're supposed to say in situations like this?" Oh, shoot. Did he have to look so damn cute, worrying over you?

You chuckled as you shrugged, ignoring the warm feeling spreading through your body. "I'm not sure. You knew you didn't have to come all the way here, though, right?" He had insisted that he was going to drop you to the exam, and wait until you came back. He said he might even buy you a slice of cheesecake after if it went well, and who were you to say no?

"I wanted to come." He looked at his phone screen to check the hour. "Okay, you have to go now, but I'll be right here."

You weren't sure why, but that sentence filled you with a confidence you never knew you had. You felt like... you felt like if he was right here, supporting you, you could even overcome your greatest enemy, chemistry.

"Y-yeah, okay." You mumbled, turning around to go to school, but stopped when he suddenly shouted, "Wait!" You turned around, worried there was something you forgot -there was always something you forgot- but your worries died when you saw him grinning.

"Aren't you gonna ask for a good lucks kiss?"

"Oh my god, Kuroo." You rolled your eyes, once again turning to go, but this time he didn't let you walk away, not without a hug. "Well then, here's a good luck hug instead." As you felt his long arms around your body, you froze in your place, forgetting to even breathe.

He was warm, not a disturbing warm, though, the kind that caused you to smile, that made you feel safe, that made you think if he kept his arms around you, nothing bad could happen. So instead of pulling back, you wrapped your arms around him too, closing your eyes with the feeling and not even realizing that you were nuzzling your face in his neck.

You didn't notice the relieved smile that was on his face when you hugged him back, since he was half-sure you were going to push him away, he closed his eyes too and wrapped you even tighter, trying to etch this feeling in his mind so he could remember forever.

You could feel his face touching your hair, your bodies pressed together, you wondered if he could hear how hard your heart was beating. When he pulled back after a while, you felt a bit disappointed that it ended but hid that expression nonetheless. Now you couldn't stop thinking just how good he smelled and felt.

"Uh, thanks for that, I guess." You told him with an awkward giggle. "Sure thing, all you gotta do is ask, princess." He told you with a wink, causing you to roll your eyes and walk away.

***

Kuroo was a man of his word, so he waited two hours on exactly where you both had hugged each other.

When he realized he could still feel your lingering scent when the wind blew slightly and smiled, Kuroo knew he was in deep. He had never meant for it to go this way, he liked this weird thing you both had, constant teasing and challenging each other. He had no idea when he had caught feelings, but Kuroo wasn't a simple man, he knew that when he had feelings towards someone, it was too damn hard for him to let go.

He couldn't stop thinking about the hug that had passed just then, how you felt between his arms, how amazing you smelled, how good of a fit you two were.

So when he saw you exiting the school, he couldn't (didn't) suppress the smile that was forming on his face, and it only grew wider when you smiled back.

"How was it?" He asked when you came towards him. "It was gre-" Before you could finish your sentence, you found yourself pulled into a tight hug once again, though this time you didn't fight it one second.

"That's very nice to hear." He muttered into your hair, and you giggled. "I remember a promise about a cheesecake." You told him with a cheeky smile when his arms let go of your figure, that looked tiny next to him.

"Huh, cheesecake? Nope, can't think of anything related to that."

"Kuroo!" You whined.

"What? I don't even like cheesecake! How could I have known your exam was going to be okay when you suck this bad at chemistry?" He protested.

He still took you to eat cheesecake, and not only one slice, but as much as you'd liked.

"So, you're gonna cheer for me, huh?" He told you as he watched you chew on the giant piece of cake you had just gotten in your mouth. You could swear he was only asking questions when you were chewing, cause it was a little too often his questions had caught you munching on food, at this point.

You glared at him as he shot you an innocent look, he grinned like a mad man the whole time you tried to swallow your bite. "I don't know, I haven't decided yet." You finally answered.

"You can't tell me you're going to cheer for that Oikawa guy." He huffed, though you knew he was damn serious at his question. "No, I'm going to cheer for Lev." You shot back, and he groaned.

"You're forgetting that I'm paying for all these." He grinned, causing you to choke on the bite you just took. He laughed and passed you the water, watching you drink it down.

"Yeah, you're right." You told him with a cheeky grin.

***

"Oh, shit, I'm so fucking stressed, I'm going to die." Yaku mumbled. "You don't have to be stressed, Yaku-san! You practiced so much, I know you're going to win!" Your captain cheered excitedly. (you forgot about her, didn't you, haha)

Huh, you thought. Maybe Kuroo was right about you sucking at giving motivation.

"Thanks." Yaku mumbled with an awkward smile, trying to escape from her overly cheerful manner.

"Kuroo-san, how are you feeling?" She asked as she walked towards him, making the girls in your team giggle with anticipation. "I'm okay, thanks." He mumbled, his eyes searching through the crowd, stopping when they found you. Without even noticing that the cheerleader captain was talking to him, he walked towards you with a mocking grin on his face.

"I need to get my good luck kiss before I go on the court, you know. And this time, I'm not settling for a hug." It might have been something you could laugh at, if you weren't in public and both of your teams weren't looking at you, mouths agape, eyes widened with shock.

You could hear Kenma face-palming himself.

"Sh-shut it, Kuroo! It's not the time for teasing." You told him, feeling your cheeks heating up.

"Come on, just one kiss." He continued as he leaned in, caging you and leaving you breathless. You knew he was joking, but no one else did, and sometimes, you weren't so sure either, especially when he looked at you like that.

So you did the best thing you could.

You ran away.

Not bothering to look back or answer his questions, you ran until you couldn't see him. You had no idea how you were going to explain this to your team, especially to the captain. She didn't like you already, and this was probably just going to make everything worse.

So you stayed there until you heard Nekoma being called out on the court, leaving the room half-heartedly, scared of what you were going to face.

You could feel the lingering eyes on you, hear the whispers following you, and you did your best to ignore them, but you knew you could break down crying any second now. When you saw the captain glaring at you, you bit your lip, trying to focus on the dance.

You could feel the boys looking at you to see if you were okay or not, trying to get you to look at them too, but you refused to do so since you were a little scared of what you would see.

Though the whispers and glares toned down and died when the game started since the game took all your attention. You watched as Kenma passed the ball to Lev, he jumped so high and hit the ball so hard, you gasped. The ball passed between Aoba Jouhsai and Nekoma, neither of them looking like they were going to accept losing.

You could see everyone giving their bests, even Kenma looked fired about the game, Lev blocking the ball like his life depended on it, Oikawa using tricks and strategies that just amazed you.

The game was breathtaking, every touch on the ball had you gasping, making you sit on the edge of your seat, turning your knuckles white.

The only times you could hear the whispers running after you were the times there were breaks, and the cheerleading team was dancing on the court.

Wasn't this supposed to be fun? It felt like torture, instead. You could feel your teammates nudging you with an elbow every once and then, causing you to lose your balance, snickering when you stumbled. At this point, you were just counting minutes till the game ended.

Kuroo must've noticed something was wrong since, at one point, he started to wave at you until you saw him, and when you looked at him, he sent you a thumbs up as if he was trying to ask if you were okay, not noticing he was the problem.

You just plastered a smile on your face and nodded your head, trying to make him go back to the game. He sent you a cheeky grin in response, now more determined to win more than ever.

The game went on, and it was finally the third and the last set. To give the team more of a boost, the cheerleading was going on on the side of the court.

You would've enjoyed this, you really would, if it weren't for the now rougher pushes you've been getting from the other girls. It was starting to hurt, you had to admit, and not only physically, too. No one liked being laughed at, especially when they had no one to help them get through this, and you were feeling more alone then you have ever felt before.

Though all your thoughts disappeared when you saw Kuroo jumping with all his might and hitting the ball Kenma had just sent him. The ball went straight down, without anyone on the other side of the net being able to receive it.

He had scored the match point. They won, you realized.

Your eyes wide, hands up in the air, shaking the black and red pompoms in your hand as you cheered with the rest of your team, beaming with happiness.

You suddenly noticed the cat-like eyes on you, and your eyes found him too. He was grinning widely, everyone around him screaming with victory, and it somehow felt like the time had stopped as you looked at each other. His arms were wide open as if he was inviting you for a hug, his lips were moving like he was trying to tell you something, and you focused your gaze on is lips, narrowing your eyes and leaning a bit closer-

You felt a sharp pain on the side of your body, leaving you breathless for a second or more, making your eyes water, and because you were leaning forward and your focus was fully somewhere else, you couldn't find your balance, falling forward.

You would've fallen right on your face if you hadn't put your hand on the ground in instinct, but now it was your hand and your ankle which had twisted badly when you fell, that had taken the blow. You looked up, just to find one of the girls looking at you with an uninterested pout, though you weren't sure who it was that had pushed you.

You could feel your eyes stinging with tears unshed, your ankle and wrist throbbing with pain, and it wasn't even the pain that caused you to tear up. You felt so self-conscious, falling in front of all these people, in front of him, you wanted to run away.

Trying to stand up, you gasped as you felt the pain in your ankle, just making the stinging in your eyes and the lump in your throat worse. You knew you would've fallen once again if it wasn't for the sudden support under your arms.

You couldn't recognize him for a second with the cold, almost scary look he had on his face, his eyes looking threateningly sharp as he helped you stand on your legs, walking you out of the gym.

Neither of you talked until you were finally alone in a room, and he had sat you on the bench. He sat right next to you, and the silence was unbearable, but you knew the second you attempted to talk, you would break down crying.

He somehow seemed to know that, so instead of trying to make you talk, you felt his hands wrapping you in a tight hug, and that was when you lost control over your emotions. You couldn't help the tears running down your face, wetting your cheeks, the sobs shaking your body between his arms, your arms hugging him even tighter as you replayed everything in your mind.

"I'm sorry," you managed to mumble between your sobs, "I'm so sorry, Kuroo." You didn't know why exactly you were apologizing, maybe it was because he had to be here with you instead of celebrating his victory, or maybe something else.

You stopped apologizing when you felt his hand touching your hair so softly, you almost couldn't feel it. "Shh," he whispered, "it's okay, no need to be sorry."

You nodded, you weren't even sure how long you stayed in that position, but you had already stopped crying when he talked again. "Are you feeling better now?"

You nodded, not even trying to pull back since it felt too good to be between his arms. His hand was still caressing your hair, though it was a little different this time since you felt something sliding between your hair, something that suspiciously felt like a headband with a pair of cat ears.

You tried to suppress your smile, but couldn't, so you just giggled. "You asshole." You mumbled and felt the laughter bubbling in his chest.

"I love you too, princess."

Epilogue:

You were sitting on the couch as Kuroo gathered the snacks. It was movie night, though as you surfed through the channels, you found something even more interesting.

"Baby, come quick! It's live from Oikawa's game." You told him as you watched the game a little too closely, Kuroo noticed. As an attempt to keep his girl, Kuroo sat right next to you on the couch, an arm wrapped around your shoulders. You could feel him pulling you closer and closer to himself every time you gasped or cheered for Oikawa until you were almost on top of him.

"Tetsu, are you jealous?" You finally asked, desperately trying to hold yourself from laughing at his pouting face.

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous?" You were going to say something, but he answered his own question. "Because my girlfriend is far more interested in a guy on tv than her boyfriend that's sitting right next to him?"

"I'm not interested in him!" You protested, trying to ignore the amazing spike Oikawa just did, but he noticed it. Pouting and looking away -though not attempting to get away from you whatsoever- he looked like a little boy.

"Ah, come on, you know you'll always be my number one." You told him with a giggle, and you knew when you pecked his cheek with a light kiss, he couldn’t stay mad at you.

"You know, you really hurt my feelings there." He muttered though he was grinning as he leaned his face closer to yours.

"Did I?" You asked with an equally cheeky grin, and he nodded, now even closer that you could feel the heat radiating from him.

"I kinda need you to kiss it better."

Kiss it better, you did.

#kuroo x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo tetsuro x reader #hq kuroo #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo tetsuro scenarios #hq x reader #hq x you #hq x y/n

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sckyie · 4 years ago

Text

song: streetcar by daniel caesar

word count: 2.6k

genre + warnings: angst to fluff; reminiscing in past heartbreak, breakdowns, timeskips, swearing, someone gets slapped

pronouns used: she/her

a/n: here's part 2 to driver's license,, i hope this was okay >~< i had to include a new song to the mix (its going into the playlist) soooo enjoy :) also my ratio for angst to fluff is TERRIBLE im sorry

Ever since you had confessed your feelings to your best friend, you had became so distant from everyone. Knowing you might've ruined one of the best friendships shook you. Lately you'd been driving around past curfew just to keep your mind off him. Passing all the street lights just felt like you were driving down memories.

That flickering light at the corner where Oikawa had helped you after crashing your bike into a pole. Or that bright cool light by the park where you, Iwa, and Oikawa first started playing volleyball. Or that one littered with stickers where you told both the boys that they better remember you when they were famous.

Apathy overcame your entire being. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, who knew heartbreak could have this effect on a person? It was hard going to school, avoiding Oikawa in every hall, dodging Iwaizumi on your way out, and even trying to ignore Kasumi was too much. It hurt like hell but you didn't want to know what Oikawa had to say. More so, you didn't want to hear what he was going to say, you knew what he'd tell you.

Two months until graduation.

It had been a over a month since that confession. The bright girl everyone used to know dulled out. No one knew why nor how it happened. It only stung between you and the boy you knew you could never love. Oikawa and Kasumi remained together despite the lingering thought of those words you said to him.

"I- You- Ugh! Just go away, I don't want to see you!" The crack in your voice shook those hidden feelings within you.

"Why not!" Oikawa held onto your forearm, restricting you from running away.

"Because I fucking loved you idiot!" You screamed as hot tears rolled down your cheeks. Oikawa froze at your words, unable to process them.

"You...loved me?" He asked.

"I still fucking love you! God, I hate you- I just- Let go!" You shoved him away from you. "I'm leaving. If you try to stop me, I'm never speaking to you again."

Yet, you never spoke to him regardless. The sudden break between you two effected Iwaizumi as well. Although he had no part in the situation, he was torn who's side to take. He knew your secret but he couldn't betray both his best friends. Seeing you two spilt was like watching glass break. It's sudden, scattered, irreplaceable but if you tried to fix it, you could cut yourself or ruin the glass even more.

Oikawa took your last words as your goodbye. What was worse was that, he couldn't bring himself to find the right words to say to you. How could his best friend love him and never tell him? He never did end up telling Kasumi that he loved her. He began to question his feelings about her and well, you.

One more month until graduation.

"Hey Y/n, are you going to the third year dance?" Hanamaki taps your shoulder as you doodle on your notes. You shook your head, knowing well enough how you'd have to see Oikawa and Kasumi together. "Come on, we're all going."

"No thanks," You smiled. A sudden ache in your chest hit you as you looked back at your notes. "I don't like dances."

"Liar," Matsukawa joins into the conversation. "What happened to you?"

"Hm?" You looked up, tilting your head at him.

"Just come along, we'll drive," He suggests. "You don't need a date. Just tag along with he boys and Kasumi."

"Again no thanks," You turned him down. "I'm not on good terms with Oikawa right now. I don't want to see him."

"Well, then let's all four go together then. Me, you, Mattsun, and Iwa," Makki says. "We lowkey miss having you around."

"Yeah, come on, we don't have to go with them," Matsukawa agreed.

"Promise we won't hang around them?" You ask solemnly. They nod at you, prompting you to let out a long sigh. "Fine. I don't have a dress, do you guys want to come with to find one?"

Two weeks until graduation.

You stood in line with the three boys to get inside the ballroom for the dance. You carefully adjusted Matsukawa's corsage that matched your dress. Kasumi and Oikawa had came later, waiting farther back in line. He rests his hand on her waist as he examined the people in line when he spots you. This was the first time in forever since he could see you clearly. He had only caught glimpses of you through the halls, never seeing your face.

Was that the reason the guys didn't want to ride with him? For you? It hit a bit knowing they chose you over him but he knew how you haven't hung out with anyone lately. Always avoiding people, never trying to talk to anyone.

Inside the ballroom, you and the boys sat together at your assigned table. The songs seemed redundant, leaving you four to occasionally get up to dance. It wasn't until a slow song that caught your attention. You had your head leaning against Iwaizumi's shoulder when you spotted Oikawa and Kasumi walking center stage.

"I'm gonna go outside for some fresh air," You say, standing up. You adjusted your dress before walking away to the outside patio. The muffled sound of the slow song was heard as you rested your arms on the railing. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the sounds of the streets nearby. It was hard to drown out the feelings of Oikawa after seeing him with Kasumi. You feel the pain well up, trying your best to resist crying.

You open your eyes as you feel something being placed on your shoulders. "You'll get sick out here," Iwaizumi says, standing beside you. "You're thinking of him aren't you?"

"Can we not talk about him?" You breathed, tears slowly rolling down your face. "I just don't want to think about how bad I fucked up."

"Well," Iwaizumi looked down at the ground. "Will you dance with me?" You turned to see him holding out his hand for you. Taking his offer, Iwa holds you close as the music played. He let you cry in his arms, knowing well enough that you needed this. Having held all your pain behind driving, you couldn't show how much you were in pain.

"Thank you Iwa," You sniffled into his chest.

"I'm always here for you," He smiled. "You're like a little sister to me...It pains me to see you all dull and hurt...When Makki asked you to come out with us, I didn't expect you to agree but I'm glad you did."

"Can I tell you something?" You panted for air through your tears.

Oikawa held Kasumi close, carefully swaying back and forth together. With her head resting on his chest, he was able to see through the patio window. He spots you and Iwaizumi dancing but for some reason it stung in his chest to see that. Why is he hurt? He's with Kasumi and he loves her, right?

Graduation day.

A group of cheers goes around the ceremony as your final day in high school is finally over. You greet your old classmates one more time, saving your close friends for last. For some reason, all the pain you previously carried had faded away. You approach the gate to meet with your friends for the last time before you go off your separate paths. Makki and Mattsun agreed to text you more to keep up with each other.

Iwaizumi had hugged you once last time, telling you to do your best. You smiled for the first time in a while. It was strange but Iwa was glad to see you starting to move on. You and him agreed to update each other on your mental healths and to hang out whenever you'd visit. Then it was the one you dreaded.

Saying goodbye to Oikawa, it'll be the last time you'll see him. You waited patiently for him as he was caught up by some fans and Kasumi. When he did manage to leave the underclassmen, he spotted you waiting. "Hey babe, can you go on ahead? I want to talk to Y/n," He says to his girlfriend. She nods happily, walking by you as she left.

"Hey," He stops a few feet away from you, scared to step any closer.

"Hi," You said. "I have a few words for you." You let out a small chuckle, leading him to believe it was something good.

"Good or bad?" He laughed.

"Well," You started. "I just wanted to say goodbye for the last time...It was nice being your friend and I know how rough it turned out in the end...I'm sorry for not telling you before how I felt. I just thought I wasn't good enough for you and that you'd fall for someone else. Kasumi is a great girl and you two are amazing together...I really wish you guys the best...I know you'll do outstanding in volleyball like the king you are. You better not forget us when you're famous..Listen, I have to go before I'm late, so this is...it...Goodbye Tooru." You wiped a tear from your cheek, smiling at him. You quickly turned around, disappearing into the city.

"Wait! Y/n!" He rushes after you, only to get lost in the crowd of third years saying their goodbyes. Oikawa felt tears well up in his eyes as he desperately looked around for you. "You didn't let me say..." He whispered to himself.

A week later, Oikawa and Iwaizumi join each other to lunch at your favorite restaurant. Iwa scrolls on his phone waiting for the food while Oikawa looked at the booth you two would always get. "Hey Iwa-chan?" He asks. "Do you know where Y/n decided to go after graduation?" Iwaizumi stopped scrolling to think back at the third year dance.

"Can I tell you something?" You panted for air through your tears.

"Anything," Iwa replied.

"I'm moving away from Miyagi immediately after graduation," You sniffled. "Remember when we were kids and we said we wanted to live in Tokyo or Kyoto?"

"Y-yeah," He was a little shaken up hearing that you'll be leaving so soon.

"My uncle just moved to Kyoto and he offer me a room there...and I said yes," You started to trace circles on his back. "It's by that college I wanted to go to and they have good jobs there and-"

"You don't have to explain yourself. You'll do amazing out there," Iwa chuckled. "Just promise you'll visit sometime?" He knew how much you needed to be away from Miyagi. Although it pained him, he knew it was only for the best.

"No," Iwa lied. "I haven't seen her. She hasn't texted in a while.

Three months after graduation.

You got into a cab on your way to your new job at a café. You stared out the window, admiring the new city you live in. Learning to adjust and work around the city was tough. The feeling of calling Kyoto home was strange, knowing that it wasn't.

Ever since you had said goodbye to Oikawa, things in his life changed. He believed losing you wasn't fair, not knowing where you'd gone always haunted him. He had broken up with Kasumi over the guilt held over his head. Always thinking about you when he was with her wasn't right. With you being gone, his only priority became volleyball.

You however, had let go of those old feelings you held onto. That last goodbye satisfied you, letting you sleep at night and allowed you to love yourself more. You've grown so much from dull slump you were stuck in for weeks. Though living in a different environment made it feel like you weren't even there.

Oikawa roamed the streets slowly approaching different shops along the sidewalk. He had some free time before the practice match he had, so it wouldn't hurt to explore, right?

That's when it happened.

You closed the door to your cab, turning towards the café's direction. Your eyes lock onto a set of familiar pupils. Frozen in time, the two of you never exchanged a word yet, suddenly a rush of emotions filled you both.

Pain, anger, fear, regret, almost everything you felt in the past came back to you seeing him. Standing before you, the man you once loved. The man you might still love.

You snapped out of your thoughts, walking towards him, stopping a few feet away from him. "Y/n what-" You raised your hand, harshly impacting Oikawa's cheek. His hand flies up to his face, holding the spot you smacked.

"You seriously broke up with Kasumi for me?" You growled. "Y-you're an idiot y'know? She was good to you too! Also ignoring Iwa for volleyball? I told you not to-"

"You kept track of me?" He whispered, a slight smile creeping on his face.

"W-Well obviously! I ask Iwa about you from time to time," You muttered. You looked up to Oikawa and saw him grin down at you.

Before you could say anything else, Oikawa puts his two hands on the sides of your cheeks. He pulls your face close to his, crashing his lips against yours. You tense at the action, gripping his wrists. He doesn't pull away until you settle into the kiss.

Your hands melt away from his wrists and reach for his torso. Your lips moved together in sync, almost as if it were a familiar feeling. He pulls away from you, pressing his forehead against yours. "You never let me say my goodbye," Oikawa snickered. "You said goodbye to me then disappeared without a trace."

"Sorry," You blushed. His hands move to your waist, still holding you close to him.

"I wanted to tell you that..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I love you too. I'm sorry I'm so late in telling you and I'm sorry for being caught up with Kasumi. I didn't know what I was doing and I couldn't talk to you...I fucked up for not seeing how much you- well how much I loved you...I know this is all late and you probably don't want to hear any of this but-"

You tiptoed and kissed his nose, making him stop. "How'd you find out you loved me?" You looked at him curiously.

"I was driving down your street and all the old streets we'd walk through," He started. "It reminded me of you and then I saw that white streetcar. The one that is always parked by the laundromat? It made me realize how much you meant to me."

"Seriously? That old junk car?" You laughed.

"Hey, it reminded me of you okay, just seeing it whenever we hungout and passed it," Oikawa squeezed your hip, making you chuckle at him. "Will you ever forgive me?"

Your laughter ceases as you look up at him. "I had to learn how to drive on the highway on my own, jerk," You brought up.

"Is that a yes?" He smirked.

"...No...Maybe," You squinted your eyes at him. "You owe me ramen."

"Wait how'd you know how I've been these last few months?" Oikawa pulls away from your hold.

"Oh Iwa was the first to know I was moving, I asked him to check on you every now and then. I just wanted to make sure your pretty face doesn't do anything stupid. You did by the way, you did some stupid shit," You grinned. "Hey are you hungry? I can get you something from the café for free." You turned away from him, heading to your job.

"Hey you can't just insult me then leave, come here," He runs after you stopping you a few steps away from work. Oikawa plants a rough kiss on your lips before looking down at you. "The only stupid thing I did was not tell you I loved you sooner."

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @d0llpie @elianetsantana @joy-laufeyson @kac-chowsballs

#haikyuu!!#hq #haikyuu x you #hq x you #haikyuu oikawa #hq oikawa #oikawa torū #oikawa tooru #oikawa x you #oikawa imagine #oikawa angst #hss; sckyie playlist

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the-mykie-show · 6 years ago

Text

After your night with Negan you have to make an important decision, meanwhile your ex struggles to accept that your relationship is over and after he takes things too far Negan comes up with a plan to teach him a lesson once and for all.

*rating* explicit

*warnings* rough sex, multiple sex positions, semi public fingering, blow jobs, unprotected sex, dirty talk, kind of stalking.

In your dazed, half asleep state you almost mistake Negan's arm still wrapped around your waist for your ex's, before memories of last night flood back into your consciousness. You let out a contented sigh, remembering how Negan touched you, the way his tongue felt between your legs, how his cock filled you.

“You awake, darlin’?” he asks, his fingers brush your hair off your neck for him to press a soft kiss under your ear.

“Yeah.” you whisper, rolling over on the plush pillows to face him.

You're both still naked, and you feel the unmistakable ache that only really good sex could leave between your legs.

“You sleep alright?” he asks.

“Like a rock.” you replied.

“Yeah, couple of good orgasms will do that for you” his signature cocky smirk lights up his face.

You smack his shoulder playfully.

“You want to shower before you go?” he asks.

“That would actually be great. You joining?”

“Nah I got some shit to take care of.” Negan shows you to his personal bathroom, it's just as lavish as his bedroom, a large tub sits in one corner, a glass shower stall in the other, with plush black rugs,and matching fluffy towels. You could almost forget the apocalypse even happened in here.

He gives you some shampoo and soap, and leaves you to it.

You notice in the floor length mirror that you have several hickeys on your neck and inner thighs, and a bruise shaped like Negan's fingers on your hip. You don't mind them though.

Once you've showered and wrapped yourself in a towel you leave the bathroom to go find your clothes wherever they were scattered last night. You expect Negan to be long gone, off attending to whatever the Sanctuary needed today, but instead he's waiting for you by the bed. He's already gathered your clothes and put them into a neat pile on end of the bed, next to them however is nice set of lingerie accompanied by a short black dress.

“What's this?” you ask looking between Negan and the dress.

“It's a proposal of sorts. If you want to say no you can, no questions asked, but I was hoping you would be my wife.” you're stunned by him yet again, you thought last night was a one time hookup, you weren't expecting him to ask you to join the six other girls he called his wives, you'd never given if you're opposed to the idea or not any thought. You'd never had reason to having been what you thought was a happy relationship.

“I don't know. Can I think about it?” you ask sheepishly.

“Yeah, of course. Regardless of what you decide, I'd fucking love to have a repeat of last night.” he says, pulling to him and planting a kiss on your lips. It starts to heat up right as someone knocks urgently on his door.

“What the fuck do you want?” he breaks the kiss to shout at the person on the other side of the door.

“We have a problem, sir.” Negan rolls his eyes.

“If you'll excuse me I have some clusterfuck to fix.” he leaves you to make your choice on your own. In the end you decide to keep the back dress but wear your own clothes for now.

You make your way down to the cafeteria for breakfast, loading your plate with your favorites, shooting the grumpy lady in a hairnet who always serves your morning meal a friendly smile which quickly fades once you remember that you no longer have a boyfriend to eat breakfast with.

Your steamy fling with Negan was enough to make you forget all about your lying scumbag of an ex for one night, but now in the cold light of day you're forced to confront the fact that you're alone now.

The little black dress laying upstairs in your room begins to look better and better as you find an empty table and settle in for your morning meal alone. You watch Negan's wives as you eat, they've always intimidated you since you arrived at the Sanctuary, but watching them now they seem nice enough. You watch as a pretty redhead throws a rolled up napkin at a tall dark skinned women sitting across from her and all the girls laughed together.

You're snapped out of your thoughts by an unfortunately familiar voice “Y/N! I've been looking all over for you all night. Where were you?” your ex stands in front of you.

“None of your business.” you snap.

“Come on, don't do this babe. I made a mistake, and I'm so sorry. Can you please give me another chance?” he pleads.

“No. You can go fuck yourself.” you take an angry bite of your breakfast not even bothering to look at him.

“Are those hickeys? Are you already fucking someone else?” he's angry now, he grabs your arm yanking you to face him suddenly.

“Who the fuck is he? You little whore getting with another guy the night you break up with me!” his grip on your arm gets bruising tight on your arm.

“I broke up with you because you cheated on me you stupid prick!” you try to jerk your arm away from him but he won't let you go. You start to get a little scared.

“You're hurting me, let me go.” he does, but you're certain it's only because people are starting to stare.

You feel sick to your stomach, you don't even want your breakfast anymore.

You managed to make it through the rest of the day without another run-in with your ex, you do run into Negan a few times but he doesn't ask if you've made a decision yet, just shoots you a knowing smirk and winks at you on his way by.

That night when you go back to your room you notice a small wicker basket by your door, it's filled with fresh wild flowers, a stuffed animal, and a bottle of wine that someone had to have spent a shit ton of their points on. At first it makes you smile, you think it must be from Negan, an attempt to win you over and get to say yes to being his wife no doubt. Then you see the card attached to the basket and realize it's from your ex.

“I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I need you. I love you.”

You stuff the stupid note back into the basket and shove it aside.

You don't care if he spent all his points on this apology basket, you don't care how much he wants you back, it isn't gonna happen.

The next morning there is yet another basket outside your door, this time with chocolates, a heart shaped necklace, and a bottle of whiskey.

After lunch another one arrives. At this point you start to fear that your ex is turning into a stalker, and people on your hall are starting to notice the heap of gifts outside your door, you hope someone will steal them so that you don't have to deal with them, but Negan has rules against such things that he enforces harshly when necessary so no one dares to.

That night when you returned to your room your door is unlocked. You know you locked it, your heart beats violently with fear, but you open the door anyway, your hand wrapping the knife at your hip.

You recognize the figure standing at the end of your bed seconds before you stab him. It's your ex.

“What are you doing in my room you psycho?!” you yell at him, flipping on the light, still branching your knife. You notice that he's spread rose petals around the room, as if a sappy romantic gesture was enough to win you back.

“I came to prepare a romantic evening for us.” he says, turning around slowly “Instead I found this.” he holds up the black dress Negan gave you.

“So you fucked Negan huh? And he asked you to join his little whore house. Can't say I'm surprised, that is his MO. Just like he did to Dwight. You gonna have him burn my face off too?” he laughs bitterly. “Just at least answer me this. Did you sleep with him when we were together?”

“No of course not. I was loyal to you, even though you cheated on me, lied to me, ignored me, treated me like shit. I was loyal. That night was the first time I've slept with anyone that wasn't you in years. In fact it'd been so long I'd forgotten sex is actually supposed to feel good until Negan.” you know you're playing with fire but you just can't help yourself.

“Come on Y/N you can't possibly mean that. We had good sex, you loved me. It's not too late, we can still get it all back.” he's pleading with you again, desperation in his eyes.

“I don't want it back. I don't want you back.” you say matter of factly.

“Please don't say that Y/N! I love you, I need you back.” you shake your head gesturing to the open door.

“I said no, now take your shit and get out of my room.”

“It's our room. Please just let me make it up to you. I could fuck you so much better than him.”

“No you really can't, not that it would matter if you could because we're over, and tonight I'm saying yes to Negan.” you hadn't even completely made up your mind about Negan's proposal until that moment but you know you're making the right decision.

“No! You can't, you belong to me, you're my girl.”

“I don't belong to anyone, I'm a person you shit head! Not a piece of property. But tonight I will be a married woman and you're going to have to accept that.” his eyes burn bright with anger, and for a moment you fear you're going to have to use your knife, lucky for you your neighbor across the hall, a sweet older lady who works in the gardens, comes home at the right moment.

“Are you okay, dear?” she asks, poking her head into your room. Your ex shoots you a dirty look and throws the black dress at you on his way out with a growl of “This isn't over.”.

“I'm fine, thank you.” you assure your neighbor before closing the door and going to work cleaning up the rose petals all over your room.

It takes forever to get them put into a pile on the floor, and before you can finish you hear a knock on the door. You freeze, you fear its your ex back to harass you more, but then Negan's voice speaks from the other side of the door.

“You in there babygirl?” you open the door, he sees you're wearing the little black dress and grins from ear to ear.

“You're saying yes?” he asks.

“Yes.” you returned his grin and he yanks you into a tight hug and presses his lips against yours in deep kiss. When you both come up for air he sees the mess of petals and gifts spread around your room.

“What's all this shit?” he gestures to the room with a leather clad hand.

“What do you think?” you sigh “my ex wants me back. He's trying very hard.”

“Of fucking course he does, you're a goddamn catch.” he smirks, playfully slapping you on the ass.

“Yeah, well he should have thought about how much he loved me before he did what he did.” you shake your head with disappointment.

“Yeah, he sure as shit should have. Do you want me to talk to him?” Negan offers, picking up the bottle of wine the idiot had left and examining it.

“I think that might make it worse, he thinks I belong to him.” Negan places the bottle down with the rest of the unwanted gifts and pulls you to him, his gloved hand sweeping your hair back to press his lips against your ear.

“Well then, maybe we just need to show that little prick who you really belong to.” he nips your ear lobe and your knees go weak.

Negan explains the rest of his plan, all while letting his hands wander all over your body, gently kneading your breasts, and eventually working your dress up over your ass, feeling you up and admiring the way your ass looks in the lingerie he gave you all the while.

You're unsure about his plan, you worry it will make the situation worse, not to mention it's a little intrusive and awkward, but in the end you decide to trust Negan.

You wait in Negan's office with him while he sends a Savior to find your ex, “you look nervous. Don't be,” he reassures you “it's not like this is anything either of us hasn't seen before.”

“I know, it's just I feel weird about this.” you admit.

“You don't have to do this if you don't want to, we can call it off.” you knew Negan would let you stop this whole thing on a moment's notice with no questions asked, that was a big part of why you trusted him with this. If anyone else had suggested this idea to you, you would have laughed in their face and told them to go fuck themselves. But this was Negan.

“No, let's do it.” you say.

Negan lifts you onto his desk, standing between your legs, he pulls you into a kiss that starts soft but soon turns rough, his tongue slipping into your mouth, the ache between your legs already stirring up again.

His lips move to your neck, “You sure you're good with this? You feel a little tense.”he says against your skin.

“Yeah, I'm just nervous, what he reacts violently?” he keeps kissing your neck, softly sucking in the sensitive spots, and pulls you closer to the edge of the desk.

“Do you realize who you're talking to?” he asks “He wouldn't dare. Now spread your legs for me, baby.” you do as he asks, opening your legs to reveal your bare sex, this plan requiring you to take off the lace panties.

He presses two fingers to your lips, “Get em nice and wet,”

you take them in your mouth and suck on them softly, wetting them so they'll slide inside you easier.

“Damn I can't wait to feel that mouth around my cock.” he groans pulling his fingers from between your lips and sliding them between your thighs, you feel them press against your already wet entrance.

“You ready?” he asks, and you nod. His fingers fill you all at once in one smooth flick of his wrist, your thighs clamping around his hand.

He easily finds your sweet spot and slowly drags the pads of his fingers against it, your body clenching around him. Footsteps approach outside the door and his fingers still inside you, giving you the chance to change your mind. But you shake your head.

“Good girl, let me feel that tight little pussy come.” you can't hold in the moan when the heel of his hand rubs against your clit at the same time his fingers rub something deep inside you.

The Savior Negan had sent to get your ex knocked on his office door, you fidget nervously as Negan orders them to come in, his fingers still buried deep inside you.

You feel your ex’s shocked stare as realizes what Negan is doing to you. Negan holds up his unoccupied hand, signaling him to wait.

“C'mon baby, I know you like it when I fuck you real slow, but I got business to attend to.” his fingers feel so good inside you it isn't even awkward, you hands involuntarily grip his shoulders, moans falling from your lips as he makes you come. Your core tightening around him as you come, a warm wet rush coating his fingers in the evidence of just how good he made you feel.

You lean back on your elbows on his desk, feeling drunk on pleasure despite your ex standing there dumbfounded by what he'd just witnessed.

Negan turns to face him, licking the arousal and come from his fingers.

“Sorry about that, man.” he says with a smirk “gotta keep my girl satisfied, not that you'd probably know anything about pleasuring a woman” he laughed.

“What the hell is this?” your ex says. “I thought you wanted to talk to me?” he's pushing his luck with Negan.

“I sure as shit do. You got any ideas why that might be?”

“Not really, but is guess it has something to do with her?” he looks at you with disdain in his eyes, maybe even disgust.

“Well looks like you're not as big of a dumbass as I thought, because you are right. My wife here tells me you won't accept that she's over your ass and leave her alone.” his eyes dance between you and Negan, looking rather afraid now. He knows he should be nervous, even if you weren't Negan's newest wife he wouldn't take kindly to a man harassing, borderline stalking a women. He probably thinks Negan has a much more severe punishment in mind, like the iron or the cells, or maybe even the fence.

“It's not like that…” he stammers “it's just… I.. I wanted to apologize and ask for her back. I wasn't gonna hurt her!”

“The thing is you already did apologize and ask for her back. It became concerning after you grabbed her and screamed at her in the cafeteria, and it became creepy after you you broke into her room. I'm not going to ask you to justify your shit ass choices, but I am going to have to insist that you apologize to the lady and swear on your nutsack this shit won't happen again.” Negan explains.

“I did nothing wrong, in fact that little whore should be thankful someone even wants that used up cunt enough to fight for her at all.” his words feel like a slap in the face, how could he say that about you? You thought he cared about you at least a little even after everything he did to hurt you.

Negan's whole demeanor changes, his eyes becoming dark and cold, almost murderous.

“What the fuck did you just say?” he growls, and before you know what's happening your ex is thrown against the wall and Negan's hands are around his throat.

“You don't fucking talk about my woman like that, you hear me you little fucker?” your ex struggles to breath, trying to push Negan off him. Negan doesn't budge until his face turns blue, finally letting him go and throwing him to the floor.

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything Y/N! ”

“And?” Negan growls.

“And it won't happen again, I'll leave you alone.” he looks almost in tears.

“Good, now get your ass out of my sight.” he scrambles to his feet and hurries from Negan's office.

“You okay babygirl?” he asks once the office door slams behind your ex.

“Yeah, I just feel like an idiot.” you stare down at your feet in shame.

“You're not an idiot, baby.” he wraps his arms around you. “and you aren't a whore either. You can't let that shit get to you, he's just an asshole who didn't see what a beautiful, smart amazing woman he had, not to mention hot as fuck and awesome in bed.”

You smile a little at his words. “I'm pretty sure you don't hear this often enough, but you're a good guy, Negan.” you pull him down into a kiss, which he gladly reciprocates. “now why don't we finish what you started?”

“That's my dirty girl,” he smirks. “How about you get down on your knees for me?”

You gladly drop to your knees, reaching up to open his pants and pulling them down his legs with his boxers all at once, his manhood already hard. Staring up at him with the most innocent, doe eyed expression you can muster, you grip him by the hilt, you pop his tip in your mouth, sucking on it and curling your tongue around it, maintaining eye contact the whole time.

“Damn baby!” he groans. You can already taste his precome, so you tongue his slit making his hips involuntarily twitch and slide his cock against the back of your throat. You gag a little, not expecting the sudden thrust.

“Sorry sweetheart, I just couldn't help myself. You don't gotta deep throat me if you don't want to, this feels fucking amazing on its own.” you respond by slowly swallowing him all the way until you feel his tip at the back of your throat, you somehow managed to swallow him almost all the way to his balls, not leaving much of his shaft for you to stroke so instead you cup his balls kneading them while you suck. You feel his cock twitch in your mouth, and he lets out a deep moan.

Slowly pulling off, you suck his tip a little harder this time and then swallow him “Shit baby,” he groans “keep sucking my cock like that and you're gonna be my fuckin’ favorite in no time.” his hand twists in your hair, pulling gently as you bob your head up and down on his shaft. “Oh fuck yeah, just like that.” you feel his balls tense in your hand before he even warns you that he's going to come. You heed his warning by sucking his tip while he comes with a load groan. You swallow as much as you can before letting his half soft member slip from between your lips.

“That's my good girl.” his hand strokes your hair “Now that I've made that pretty little mouth mine, why don't you go bend over my desk and let me take you from behind?”

You stand up, and bend over his desk like he asked, he comes up behind you, his hand pressing your top half down while the other pushes your dress over the curve of your ass exposing you to him.

“You loved coming on my fingers in front of that prick didn't you?” his hand dipped between your legs.

“Yes.” you moan, admitting the truth that you'd gotten off on Negan pleasuring you in front of your ex, showing him how a real man gave a woman pleasure.

His fingers find your core, easily sliding inside you.

“Oh darlin’ you're fucking soaked. Did sucking me off get you this wet?” you nod.

He's already hard again and lining himself up with your entrance, his tip pressing into you.

“Ready babygirl?” he asks.

“Yes.” you moan. Your voice is so full of lust you barely recognize it as your own.

He enters you with one hard but smooth thrust, your body spasming around him as he lets you adjust to his size. At this angle it's even more obvious that he's a lot bigger than you're used to, once you're adjusted to the feeling of being filled so deeply you push your ass against his hips, pressing his cock deeper inside you.

Once he knows you're ready you feel him withdraw slightly and snap his hips forward with enough force to shake the desk, the angle is perfect, each thrust hitting that little spot that made your eyes roll back in your head.

“You like that baby? You like my cock filling you up?” he thrusts roughly again. You'd never liked rough sex before Negan, but now it felt amazing, you figure maybe you'd just never had it done right before Negan.

“Harder.” you found yourself moaning the command after a few more rough thrusts, even Negan seems surprised by it, but he does it anyway. The force of his thrusts rattle the whole desk, knocking a lamp over and sending some books crashing to the floor.

You feel your core tightening with your building orgasm, each thrust increasing the intensity, and making your walls squeeze him.

“Damn you're so fucking tight.” he groaned.

“You gonna come for me… again.” you can practically feel the smirk in his voice, and I want to say something snide back, but then his hand reaches around, his fingers finding you clit. He teases the sensitive bundle of nerves with a maddeningly light touch, the complete opposite of his rough, hard thrusts.

You feel your walls start to flutter and throb around him, your orgasm finally over taking you, he drags your pleasure out with slow but hard and deep thrusts, his fingers still working your over stimulated clit, while your toes curl in your shoes and your hands hang onto the edge of the desk for dear life.

Your core is still spasming with aftershocks of your orgasm when Negan finds his release, his body going rigid behind you as you feel him spill inside you. He keeps thrusting as hard as he can until he's spent himself completely and his cock starts to soften.

In one dizzying movement he pulls out and turns you around to face him.

“Fuck, I am a lucky man! I'm glad you said yes, babygirl.” he kisses you, this time it's soft and lazy. And you've never felt more content than you do in his arms, that somehow still pleasurable freshly fucked ache deep inside you and his come on your thighs.

#negan #twd negan #negan's thirst squad #negan fic #negan fanfiction #negan x reader #twd fanfiction #twd fanfic #twd reader insert #negan reader insert #negan requests #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead fanfic

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hoopdiddies · 6 years ago

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I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 8)

A/N: Ayoooo. Hey guys, here's part 8 and I'm so sorry if the previous chapters kind of frustrated you. I didn't really mean for it to but I hope you enjoy this one. I'll be posting 9 tomorrow or the day atfter. Thanks again for your feedbacks, y'all motivate me a lot ^^ ♥ (My Wi-Fi has prejudice against tumblr rn)

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Angst, bois. ANGST (I cried like a sucker during one part I wrote 😔) mention of blood, yet again drinking, some speckles of fluff, and unnecessary dialogue if you look closely enough :^ I feel like a terrible writer today

WC: 4k I think?

Tags: As always my taglist is always open uwu

@haendel-me-with-care

@mrsdoradominguez-barnes

@mickmoon

@lakef

@mrsmazzello

@valeriecarolinaw

@queen-turtle-boiii

@hardzzellos

"You look...beautiful." Ben's comment is indeed one thing to start the night. It's not like he's never told you that before–it's just the tone in which he has said it in is...different. A foreign tone never been released from his lips until you. You look up at him through your lashes, giving him a slanted smile accompanied by a bubbly chuckle. "Thanks. You smell nice too."

The corner of his eyes crinkle as his curving lips push them up. As expected, Rosy chimes in between you and Ben almost too quickly, the blurry speed in which she has arrived in making you gasp. "Excuse me, babe. You got interviewers on your tail and I- oh," her brows shoot up upon seeing you, seemingly haughty eyes flicking up and down your outfit in mild contempt.

"Surprised to see you here as well." The smile plastered on her face couldn't be any more forced than it is.

Girl, chill. Anti-aging soaps are not easy to manufacture these days. You begin holding your breath to prevent yourself from bursting into a fit from hearing that thought ring in your head. You shrug, garnering the guts to shift on your heightened stance and lean in an inch close.

"You're not the only one with a celebrity date."

You turn around too early to gauge her reaction, finally exhaling from holding your breath too long. You can finally conclude that she's had an effortless transition from being benign to far from being benign. The smoothest one-eighty you've ever witnessed. You remember her clearly being downright considerate of you the first time you met her yet now is a whole different story. You wonder if she was actually ever considerate.

As the boys and Lucy indulge in brief interviews, you stand behind the scenes and get the first-class chance of conversing with Brian. He's readily the coolest person in the house right now, bantering with you every once in three, fascinating topics. How fortunate are you to be in the spot a million Queen fans would die for but of course, you don't want to leave out Roger who - by a landslide - makes you wish you could wheeze and snort all you want if you weren't in a luxury event such as the Oscars. He seemed intimidating for you at first but as he joined in your talk with Brian, things escalated real quickly.

With the pre-ceremony interviews and the clinking of champagne glasses dampening, you begin hunting for your seats in the theatre.

Before you know it, you are informed that only a specific line of people are given exclusivity for the seats. And it shocks you that Joe, Allen, Ben and Gwilym are not given that card when in fact they were part of the very film that brought forth a new generation of fans.You shake your head disappointingly albeit contented that Rami, Lucy, Brian and Roger and their wives are part of the exclusivity.

Utterly determined to know the results - by Joe's 'sovereign' vote - the rest of you hang around in the waiting area, focusing on the ceremony rights shown on TV. Quietly sitting through the results, you all whoop and applaud at the mention of Bohemian Rhapsody obtaining three awards straight– your cheers amping up a notch as Rami brings home the 'Best Actor' award. Joe begins filming your reactions for Instagram, zooming into Gwilym, Ben and Allen's faces for most of the video. You throw your head back in laughter at how goofy the boys look; a bunch of men in their 30's bouncing up and down with one of them documenting the entire episode. At one point, Gwilym yanks as you in for a group hug, mercilessly crushing you in between their muscles– the disorienting experience now being something you wish you would never undergo again.

As Rami's thank you speech unfolds, you pay attention closely. The sentimentality of him lovingly thanking Lucy for being his anchor after dedicating his award to Freddie Mercury is just overwhelming and you wish you could tear up but your mascara would be waste. You're certain that made Brian and Roger emotional as well.

An hour after the ceremony, you all head down to the Vanity Fair after party in the same limo you had arrived in with every single person in the group eager to get the night progressing. Regardless of saying that these type of parties are not up to your speed, you try to get along with the evening and revel in what you know would be your last night with them. Sadly enough, Roger and Brian had to skip out on this with rough schedules on their hands. The moment they walked out of the place, they spent nearly half an hour congratulating the boys and having other celebrities congratulate them.

As you are seated across Ben and Rosy, you can't help but notice him acting a little distant from her. She's all nuzzled up against his arm and he is nowhere close to returning the favor. He's just...lost in thought, staring out the tinted window. It's still early to assume that in all the hours you were within a close range to them, Ben only ever acted aloof, giving her attention when the situation required it.

Perhaps a lover's tiff took place?

"Yeah, I'm wondering the same thing too." Mimicking your position, Joe calling you back to Earth makes you gasp a little. You close your eyes and look at your fingers blankly after recovering, sighing. "I think we should end all this pretending. It was simply a cop-out in the first place."

"I know," he whispers audibly enough for only you to hear, running his fingers through his fiery, red hair, "you should probably come clean soon enough before you leave."

And that you will. At least, you'll try.

In your defense, you thought the after party would host a fancy banquet but seated around with celebratory drinks -considerable with something classy - and attendees breaking down on the dance floor is a rather okay scene as well. As long as you don't end up like the night you were invited out for a drink with your colleagues, you should be fine for the most part.

The boys and Lucy have fully immersed themselves in the beat of the music while you've decided to remain stationary with one glass of wine, the only glass you'll be having for the rest of the party.

The entire time you gawk at them amusingly as they break out their dance moves, your eyes always find their way to Ben, who makes you snort painfully from all his antics as he moves along with Joe. They're a mess with their ties and buttons undone from all the movement and the sight inspires you to stay put.

But oh dear lord, can Ben dance like an uncle.

Keeping your attention on them, a descending weight sinks down next to you. You pay no mind to whoever it is but do as her voice interrupts your thoughts. "I hope your eye is on the right person, honey." You click your tongue in exasperation, turning your body towards Rosy and her developing, bitchy tendencies, scoffing as you place your drink down to set things straight with her. "First of all, what did I ever do to you to deserve this kind of talk?"

She smacks her lips together at you, simpering. "You didn't think I'd notice?"

"What are you talking about?"

Her almond eyes narrow as if she's trying pin you down with a warning. "Please, don't act like I never noticed. You're overstepping that boundary between you and your best friend- my fiance." Okay, so she's noticed. But your neutralized expression is not going to be giving away anything.

You incline your head to one side in hopes that the facade you're pulling would decompress her suspicion. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Ben is like my brother. "

Grabbing her drink from the table, she sighs and stands up, hands firm on her hips and face silhouetted under the beaming light nevertheless giving you a transpiercing glower in the manner of seeing through the makeshift barrier you've pulled up. "He better be. Try backing off every once in a while when I'm around."

To your dismay, you snap inside, whipping your head up at her and replying sharply to make the message crystal clear. "Rosy, you have no idea." Unable to withstand the atmosphere you're in, you put great emphasis on your words and snatch your drink, walking out to the mini garden to finish what's left of your wine without having to bear being around her.

The question is unadulterated and obvious– bold and italicized if you wish to give it a stretch and clarify it.

Why is Ben still with her?

Is he that clueless not to realize it?

You don't want to pry the answer out yourself but ruminating on it, Rosy pulling off a full one-eighty only when Ben's at an appropriate distance for her to squeeze you between her fingers is just about good as a reason as anything. Your unwavering feelings for Ben are clearly perceived by her– from the way you had reacted the day he introduced you both to each other to not so long ago.

You wonder if Ben ever took heed of her growing attitude towards you.

Finishing your wine in one, immediate, swig, you place it down on the marble surface before you with your fingers cradling the stem of the glass– relishing the spicy liquid flushing down your throat.

At the extent of overexerting themselves, Joe and Gwilym flop down back on their seats like jelly, tuckered out from the unconventional combination of alcohol and unsteady movement. Panting like a dog who had just participated in a marathon, Joe shrugs out of his blazer and tosses it over his shoulder, silently wishing the ice in the bucket that held the bottle of wine would save him from the grinding heat of the wine he had just about five minutes ago.

"Mate, you're deep in the heat." Gwilym comments as it is followed by a gentle laugh on how Joe's glistening in sweat under the dimming lights. He hands him a partially bland look before wiping his forehead with his handkerchief. Lucy and Rami are situated at other end of the place enjoying a chat with another party of people meanwhile Ben and Rosy are nowhere near any of them. Until, of course, they reappear from God knows where and Ben suddenly asks Joe where you've gone.

"I-I don't know." He says after a hefty sigh. Somewhat eager to find you, Ben begins excusing himself from Rosy whom which he has spiked a bitter reaction from for sharing his supposed time for her with you. Fed up and jealous in the slightest, Rosy snaps at him.

"Okay Ben, why do you always have to skip in between minutes to hang out with her even when we're together?"

He pauses from turning around completely and sighs. "She's my friend, babe."

Unwilling to accept his statement, she claims. "Well your friend is getting in the way of what was supposed to be our time together! Can't you set aside a limited time for her?! " This has alarmed Joe and Gwilym but it isn't their business to butt in and stop a quarrel from breaking out. Unless it turns physical, which is doubtful to happen. Ben, a little frustrated but still tolerant of her ongoing skittish behavior, tries to reassure her. "I know that, alright? But something's been bothering her for days and I just want to make sure she's doing alright."

"Can't you leave the worrying to Joe? He's her bloody boyfriend anyway!"

Wagging his forefinger at Rosy, Joe grumbles as he is not having any of her talk, scrunching his brows at her.

Grabbing her shoulders gently, Ben tries to relieve her of tension and assures her once more, but with a well-known fact she obviously still doesn't accept. "Joe's a little drunk. She's like...a sister to me," it really took him an abrupt pause to say 'sister', "besides, you're my fiancee. There's nothing to be jealous about."

"Why does she still have to be a part of your life? Our life?" Now that's a question that has just shifted Ben to a farther side. His brows knit together in momentary disbelief, unable to take her words in a good light. "God, Rosy! She's been around for so long! At least make an effort to accept her!" Like a slap to her conceitedness, Ben turns on his heels and walks out to find you. Leaving Rosy a steaming mess of insecurity.

However slightly drunk, Joe mutters to himself as he makes sure neither Gwilym or especially Rosy hears his words stumble out in a whisper. "You've grown a pair, Ben. You've grown a pair."

You've been outside for nearly half an hour; wine glass empty and your hair, along with the skirt of your dress, drifting along the harmless breeze and the waning moon spilling some light from behind the shaded clouds. Though there were a couple of people that found their way here to get some respite not too long ago, you're just glad to have this space to breathe in from the draining background of the party.

As you lose yourself in thought, a certain voice brings you back to reality.

"Nice night out, huh?"

Turning around slowly, you are met with the cool, forest green irises that you've grown to never tire of seeing. "I'm surprised you're still well-kept in that suit despite the scene back in there. " You give in to a chuckle, your smile pulling Ben to approach your side leisurely. "It's my Oscars suit. Something worthy of protecting."

"Hah!"

As he rests his elbows on the surface next to you, the distance between your skins makes you a tad bit anxious. Comfortable silence falls upon you both– for Ben at least, it's tolerable however you're not taking it well, not even in the slightest. You rub your hands together and sigh, prompting Ben to finally ask you.

"You alright? You've been tensing up lately."

You nod, closing your eyes and opening them afterwards. "This dress is just depleting me of bodily warmth." Half a lie told by you. Acting on his thoughts, Ben begins taking his blazer off but you stop him mid-shrug. "Keep it on. You look better with it on."

"This would look better on you, you're obviously freezing." He's really keen on keeping you warm but you're just as so in letting him keep it on. "I'm serious. Keep it on. I'm fine."

What can he do but just give in? When you're serious, you're serious. He lifts his shoulder in half a shrug, ducking his head as an idea flickers in his head like a bulb. He wants to relive something that has been lost through the years and it's only right that he does...now that you have less than a day to disappear from his life completely.

"Y/N..." He muses gently. You raise your brows at him in question, taken by surprise that he has his hand held out to you. Bewildered, you raise your finger to ask what on Earth he's doing. "What- what are you doing?"

He licks his bottom lip and the smile on his face becomes bashful but certain. "What else does it look like I'm doing, silly girl? Asking you to dance."

You're sorry that you couldn't keep a snort at bay. "Pfft. Ben, I think you're asking the wrong girl."

"Just let me dance with my best friend."

"Wow! That's noble of you," your chuckles can not be contained, even so much as restraining yourself from letting the blush spread throughout your face. But he has the fragments of what was once your heart, so why wouldn't you? You slip your hand in his and the grin on his face widens. "There we go. Easy does it." He breathes out, his voice getting gravelly. You hit him softly on his chest for cooing, at the same time realizing that his voice becomes that way only and only when he's nervous– something uncommon between you both. As his hands find home on your waist, you throw your arms around his neck, laughing at how awkward yet funny it feels. What a huge nod to how you danced with him on Homecoming.

"You're so weird sometimes. You got your fiancee, why don't you dance with her?" Getting used to the sting of referring to Rosy, you question anyway. He initiates with a sway before responding. "I already have. But, " he diverts his heavy-lidded eyes from staring off the distance to yours and suddenly, it feels like you're home, "I want to finish that Homecoming dance."

You find yourself speechless as you shift your unflinching gaze at him and he at you, your bodies swaying along the concrete and in perfect sync, coincidentally to the sudden change in music from inside, compared to the bittersweet night you had before the day that parted you both. Thin silence hangs in the atmosphere but only because you are looking at each other in a way you never have in your entire lives.

Instinctively, you break your gaze from his and rest your head on his chest, your hair falling into your face as your eyes screw shut. You hear his heart skip a beat, unusually in the same manner yours always has. Feeling your head follow the rise and fall of his chest tickles you inside– temporarily making you forget about the pain of soon letting him go and producing a sense of safety.

Maybe it's because of exhaustion? You wonder. He doesn't hesitate to stroke your hair and revel in the moment as well, easing you in closer to his body without breaking the sway. "You'll be there on my wedding day, right?" He asks nervously, his question pulling you back to the harshest reality.

You open your eyes slowly, your lips trembling as you let out the saddest sigh, feeling your chest tighten from the anxiety of soon telling him the truth.

"Y/N?" Your tensed-up body alarms him and so he breaks away and lifts your chin up lightly, being met with glossy and regretful eyes. His messy brows drawing together in slight worry. "What's wrong?"

Everything.

However uneager to push him away, you do, escaping his warm embrace. "Ben, I..."

He's dreading for your answer, painfully anticipating for the best or the worst to the point where his hands are lubricating with sweat.

You swallow the lump that has hardened in the back of your throat, pressing your lips together to prevent a sob from escaping and shunning his prying stare. "I can't..."

Joe's half-assed predicted, worst case scenario is slowly unfolding.

"What are you saying? You're not- you're not going...to be there?"

You bite down on your lip hard enough to make it swell, shaking your head and casting a sideways glance.

"Why?"

Tell the truth. Just tell him and you're either getting a support or another jab to the heart.

"Y/N, please! Tell me why!"

"I'm leaving, Ben!" The words didn't seem to stumble or carelessly flop from your lips, in fact it speared through him clean thereby catching him off guard. His eyes have fallen gravely, lips parted due to shock.

"I got into a medical school I had previously applied for. And I'm leaving," you snap your eyes shut and open them in tears once you've looked up at him, "on your wedding day."

"Why didn't- why didn't you ever tell me?" He's pleading for your explanation, barely clinging on to the belief that you would always tell him things.

You don't answer as you are battling to muster up the courage to say it.

"Y/N, please! You never tell me anything these days! And this- this news, it's important! You're leaving on the day I need you the most, and you never bothered to squeak a word about it! Not a single, bloody word! Why?!" He's racked up with disbelief and apparently, anger. Eyes rimmed, clouded with mixed emotions and face full-blown red from the pressure.

He grabs you by the shoulders and pleads heartbreakingly, his lively voice reduced to but a whisper. "Why..."

"I-" You're still holding back.

"Say it! "

"You'd soon forget about me, Ben!" You inhale sharply as you add, croaks present in your voice while you take two steps further away from him as you lament. "I'm hopelessly in love with you, you idiot! I've always been. I try- I try to brush off every single prick that stems out every minute I realize that you already belong to someone else..."

"Y/N-"

"I figured not telling you would help me let go. And it's the only way I can...because screw you for being a clueless, irreplaceable bloke! I can't imagine my bloody life without you in it! I don't think I can ever love anybody else...but you, "

"Y/N..."

You don't let him finish and achingly throw your hands to your chest as a gesture, pounding your chest thrice as you're finally wearing your heart on your sleeve. "I can't blame you for being oblivious to my feelings. You're committed to Rosy...and as much as I want to see you happy, I don't want to stand idly by and- and feel this way when you've pledged your heart to her...I want to forget and for you to forget me," As the warm tears you've held back for so long roll down your cheeks, you hug yourself through the pain, "I want you to be happy without worrying how I'd feel. And disappearing from your life, is the only way I know how..."

"Y/N, please, don't say that- don't do this...you can't do this...you c-can't..." With hands shaking, he strides towards you to haul you in back into his arms but you take an agonizing step away, stopping him in his tracks. "I have to. I...I want to. It hurts so much, Ben. It always has but promise me," even if you have taken a step away, you take it upon yourself to take those steps close to him and cup his cheek with a cold hand, "promise me you'll revel in that happiness. It's going to hurt being away from you. But it's going to hurt even more if I stay. And watch...my best friend grow old with someone else." Finally rendering him wordless, you shake your head and whisk past him back into the party which has died down a bit, leaving him a pondering mess out under the bleak sky.

"How could I be happy without you..."

You'd gladly do anything to go back home right now. The weight of what just took place is crushing you and the need to escape is fuming. But the thing is, Ben was never one to let you go easy.

He never did and possibly never will.

He sniffles and inhales sharply, jogging in after you and calling out your name amidst the constant noise and chatters. "Y/N, wait!"

You reach your table just in time to see everyone still gathered around with drinks raised and laughs released but you have to excuse yourself deliberately. "Y/N? Where have you been? What's the rush?" Lucy notices your hastened movement and places her hand on your tense shoulder. You snap your head at her with your purse in your grasp, shaking your head and apologizing that you have to leave, forgetting to rid your eyes of tears; the sight of you amping up Lucy's concern therefore leading you into her embrace. "Oh my god, are you okay? What happened?"

"Y/N!"

Ben's distant but audible voice echoing through the place just sends you panicking inside. "I'm so sorry, Luce. I have to go."

"Y/N, wait! What's wrong?"

Just as the rest could react to Lucy calling out for you and Ben dashing past them to catch up, you've already disappeared into the crowd, headed out the theatre to take a cab ride back to the hotel. Relentless to let you go, Ben follows your trail, spurring a quick frenzy from the rest and having them pursue Ben in return. Once you reach the outskirts of the pavements, you don't think twice before crossing the highway with your focus hardened before you.

Gasping for air upon exiting the theatre, Ben glances around in haste and finally spots you marching down the street oblivious to your surroundings despite treading along the pedestrian lane. His eyes widen in dread and acting on a fight or flight reaction, he yells for your attention as he speeds down the street to pull you in or rather save you from a possibility of getting hurt with all the rushing vehicles and careless drivers. "Y/N! Y/N!"

The boys, Lucy and Rosy arrive outside just in time to witness Ben race towards your direction and in a moment of feeling time slow down, you feel your heart in your throat at the late flash of nearing headlights, to add a heavy force propelling you off your feet and onto the other side of the road. What gets you up from the ground are the mixed screams of a familiar bunch and the sight of a bloodied man in white laying unconscious on the cold surface of the road.

White noise suddenly fills your ears instead of your own voice as you scream out his name.

#borhap #queen #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #borhap cast #borhap cast x reader #borhap imagine #ben hardy fanfic #imagine #fanfic

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sanfl0werrr · 5 years ago

Text

the meaning of love

you were sitting in your father's car, waiting for him to finish buying the takeaway you've been craving for. you'd always go to your father when you're craving for food, fully aware that he'd buy you anything you'd want.

"here's your food, princess," your father chuckled, seeing how excited you got, taking the food from his hands.

you grinned at him and laughed, "thanks! love you."

"you only love me when i buy you food," he squinted at you, but laughed afterwards.

you placed your hands on your chest, acting offended, "how did you know?"

the both of you laughed, as your father continued driving through the roads to get you home.

"any interesting stories?" your father tried to start a conversation.

you looked at him as you busily stuffed your mouth with fries, "what do you wanna know?"

"who's this prince i keep hearing about?" he mentioned jaemin, still focussing on the road.

you blushed, hoping your father wouldn't notice it under the dim light, "oh, j-jaemin?"

he hummed in acknowledgement.

"he's a friend," you said, not wanting to expose more.

"just a friend? your mother keeps saying how he would always stick by your side, even when you're just sitting on the sofa. no more wonwoo, i assume?" your father asked again.

your mood when down a little, "we're still friends, dad. we don't spend as much time as we used to."

"i think you're happier with this bunch of baboons, anyways," he bluntly said, "even if one of them is stealing my daughter's heart."

"dad!" you punched his shoulder softly, and laughed together.

"as long as my daughter is happy, i'm happy," he smiled at you, and in return, you kissed his cheeks.

"doesn't matter if wonwoo left or doesn't spend as much time with you. the love you give is the love you're gonna get back," your father pinched your cheeks, "the right one will come."

you stared at him for a moment, "jaemin said the exact same thing, dad."

"i approve of him," he laughed out loud

your father continued, "there's different types of love that exists in this world. there's family, there's friends and then, there's your soulmate. family will always be there for you, like how your mother and i, including your little brother will support and back you up whenever you need us. friends are joy, and they are the ones who influenced you to be who you are today. they might be temporary, but you'll always love them regardless and hope for the best for their future."

"what about soulmate?" you peered into your father's face.

"well, that's for you to find out, isn't it?" he teased.

the next few weeks were spent with the dreamies, except that the only person you've wanted to see for so long wasn't even there.

you lagged behind, while the rest continued to be hyper. you felt as though you couldn't match to their excitement that day.

you sighed, locking arms with chenle at your right and jeno at your left.

"i'm guessing you're missing nana?" jeno whispered, giving you a smile after that.

"was it that obvious?" you weakly laughed.

"well, you're not doing a very good job at hiding it," jeno shrugged.

"well, for your information mr lee jeno, i'm not even trying to hide it," you pinched his cheeks.

"how very cute," donghyuck gagged.

"what's very cute?" mark suddenly joined the conversation.

"y/n missing na jaemin," chenle winked.

"you don't have to declare it to the world, chenle," you sighed and nudged him.

"y/n declaring she misses jaemin?" renjun pouted, "be right back, i'm gagging. the loneliness is real."

"i heard he's ending his shift soon. let's surprise him?" mark suggested.

everyone looked at you, waiting for your answer. you smiled widely, "let's go!"

"i can't believe, y/n... the audacity to get excited the moment we're seeing jaemin," donghyuck teased you.

you shrugged your shoulders in reply, becoming even more shy.

"i can't believe i'm seeing y/n like this," mark made a disgusted face, "does this mean you like jaemin?"

"mark hyung, sometimes i wonder how slow-witted you are," chenle shook his head.

"as his best friend, i think y/n should go for it!" jeno cheered you on.

"woah, hold on," you stopped them, "we're just friends and like i said before, i don't want to risk our friendship."

"that's y/n confirming her feelings," renjun nodded, "yup, that's it."

"what will make you believe that he's serious about you?" jisung asked, out of a sudden.

you raised your brows, in suspicion, "when he shows it to me."

"what do you mean?" chenle asked in confusion.

"as in, i don't it to be just words. if the guy says he wants to see me, then make an effort to see me. it could be anything as long as he shows me he really means it," you explained.

"okay, before jaemin's shifts end, we should all probably head there soon," mark cut the conversation, "let's go!"

you didn't know what jaemin has been working as, so when you entered the book cafe, you were in awe.

"jaemin works here? and he didn't bother telling me?" you gasped.

"this is probably why he didn't want to tell you," donghyuck joked.

and in return, you nudged him hard.

"what are all of you doing here?" jaemin appeared next to you.

"the least you could do is serve us drinks for coming all the way here," renjun rolled his eyes, "and y/n missed you."

"really?" jaemin lit up, "you could have just texted me and i'll go to you."

"the lovebirds are starting again," jeno gagged, "please not in front of us. i feel really really single."

"that makes all of us," mark chimed in.

"i think they look cute," jisung smiled.

"you're a kid, what do you know?" chenle teases him.

"hey! you are too," jisung nudged him back.

you scratched the back of your head, feeling embarrassed and faced jaemin, "anyways... are you really going to be working throughout the summer break?"

jaemin thought for a moment before whispering, "i'm free next week. let's go out, just the two of us?"

you widen your eyes at the sudden intimacy but managed to nod, "s-sure."

"can you please not leave us out? we're a clique here?" donghyuck mentioned.

jaemin winked, "well, it's a secret between my girl and i."

my girl, he said. you were screaming internally and nothing, nothing could ever stop your erratic heartbeat that was going insane by the minute.

you couldn’t sleep the night before your ‘date’ with jaemin. but, was it a date even? you weren’t even sure but you were undeniably excited to meet him.

somehow, you knew that the others would have known about the plan but they were pretending not to know in the group chat.

donghyuck, who’s usually the noisy one in the chat, was utterly quiet today. even jeno was acting awkward.

not to mention, renjun suddenly having other plans? you knew jaemin wanted it to be just the both of you, but the rest of them was making it obvious that they knew the plan.

you ignored their awkward attempt at pretending not to know anything, because all you wanted was to enjoy the day with jaemin. you didn’t want to let anything or anyone ruin the day.

so, you got up early and tried your hardest to look nice. but when you went out of your room, everyone’s eyes were on you.

“w-why are you dressed like that?” your mum stared at you in shock.

“i bet she’s meeting prince jaemin!” your little brother teased you.

your dad, on the other hand, puts down his newspaper and stared at you, “y/n, looks like you’re trying too hard.”

everyone laughed, but you were frustrated, “help me then! i don’t know what to wear.”

your mother stopped laughing and followed you to your room, “okay, okay. don’t be mad, i’ll help you.”

and after fifteen minutes of trying different outfits, which felt like hours, you knew the outfit you had on at the moment was the one.

“this is perfect,” your mother winked.

you showed a face of disgust, “ugh, don’t do that! but, thank you.”

“have fun on your date and tell jaemin i said hi,” your mum waved goodbye.

and with that, you were on your way to meet jaemin.

you realised you still had a lot of time on your hands before meeting jaemin, so you decided to go to a bookstore to kill time. you were looking around, searching for new releases but you couldn't find the ones that interests you.

"how about you re-read 'Me Before You' again?" a voice called out to you.

you turned around and widen your eyes, "wonwoo?"

he gave you a soft smile, knowing that you were still upset over what he said previously.

"what are you doing here?" you asked.

he scratched the back of his neck, "just looking around for books, really."

somehow, you weren't convinced by his answer, "really?"

"really."

nothing was said after that. only the voices from the people around filled the empty silence. it was awkward, to say the least. you've never initiated a chat with wonwoo after his call, so you didn't know what to say.

wonwoo tried to break the tension, "so, who are you waiting for?"

"jaemin," you said softly.

"oh," he said.

silence filled the void once more.

"i should go," you said to wonwoo, not wanting the atmosphere to get any awkward.

"o-oh," wonwoo stuttered, "y-yeah, jaemin's probably waiting."

you gave him a smile as an acknowledgement.

"u-um, y/n wait!" he grabbed your hands, "i'm sorry for what i said before. i was out of line and jealous."

you laughed, "jealous?"

"y-yeah. i thought i was losing you, but-"

"you've already lost me," you explained, "the moment you stopped looking for me and went to aera, you've lost me for good."

"but there's no use crying over spilled milk. it's over," you smiled to yourself.

"y-yeah, you're right," wonwoo bitterly smiled to himself, "i'm sorry, once again."

you turned around and never bid him goodbye. you knew it was over and there's nothing left for wonwoo and you to stay in contact anymore. it was done.

the moment you went out the bookstore, you bumped right into jaemin.

"h-hey! i was about to text you," you stuttered like a 5-year-old girl.

jaemin's lips was pressed in a thin line, not showing any emotions, "yeah? anyways, i got you sunflowers. your favourite right?"

you nodded vigorously, obvious in showing that you loved the gift, "thank you, i love it."

nonetheless, you saw how distracted he was.

you saw how his eyes kept pacing back and forth, from the bookstore to you. was he nervous? you thought, but it couldn't be that. he's usually very bright but the way he looks right now, reminded you of the first time you met him in the club room.

"are you okay? are you unwell?" you asked him multiple times.

jaemin didn't turn back to look at you, "i'm fine."

"no, you're not. are you upset?" you grabbed his arms, but he pulled them out of your grip.

"jaemin," you widen your eyes, "why are you being like this?"

throughout the year you've known him, jaemin never acted like this. to say you were shock was an understatement. you were hurt to see him acting so distant and all you wanted was to have a good time with him.

"na jaemin," you gritted your teeth, showing him that you have a limit to your patience too.

you sighed, half annoyed, "if i did something wrong, i apologise. if you could just tell me what-

he cut you off, "i'm sorry."

"fuck, i know i shouldn't let my jealousy get the better of me but i can't help it when it comes to you, okay?" he closed his eyes momentarily, "when i came over the other day, you were crying over wonwoo. i was so close to wanting to call him out, but i didn't want to cause you any pain so i stopped."

jaemin ran his hand over his hair, "and i knew you would be in the bookstore by the time i'm here, but suddenly i see you with wonwoo. i didn't know what to feel and i just- i felt angry for some reason, seeing you with him."

"i d-don't know what to say," you were at a loss for words, "i mean, i do have something to say but it's all messed up in my head and i don't know how to phrase them right."

"then, let me," jaemin took the lead, "i wanted to give you some time before telling you this because i know you're still affected by that jerk, but please, let me be the guy who makes you smile, let me be the guy who brings you flowers and let me be the guy you run to whenever you need someone to lean on."

you rubbed your temple and stood before him, not knowing what to say, "well, damn. i really don't know what to say."

your hands were shaking and you were sweating buckets due to the anxiety.

"are you unsure about-"

"no, of course not!" you cut him off, "it's just.... don't you realise you're the only one i look for whenever we're in a crowd? you're the only one i go to whenever i need help and that you're the only person who makes me feel all jittery inside?"

"what are you-"

"damn it, jaemin. i like you too!"

you widen your eyes at the sudden loud confession you made, "shit! i can't believe i said that out loud in public."

you tried covering your face but jaemin was already holding your hands in his, smirking right into your face.

"stop staring at me like that," you blushed.

"why?" he whined, "you were so aggressive before though."

jaemin couldn't stop smiling, but you weren't about to back down.

you knew he was teasing you so you teased him back, "but then again, i wasn't the one boiling with jealousy."

jaemin widens his eyes, pretending to be shocked, "i can't believe you played that card."

you smirked, "but it's true."

"my love, you only have three seconds to run," he challenged you.

"you can't-"

"three!"

"be-"

"two!"

"serious-"

"one!"

"na jaemin, stop!" you shouted as you tried to run away from him, going in circles inside the shopping mall.

you tried running as far as you possibly could from jaemin with the short legs you have, but he easily caught up to you, grabbing your waist to pull you closer to him.

"i hate you," you tried to wiggle your way out of his arms.

he laughed and snuggled against your petite body, "no, you don't."

"that's right, i don't," you rolled your eyes and smiled afterward.

maybe this was the meaning of love your father tried to tell you back then. maybe this was him trying to say that it wasn't the end of the world when one thing doesn't work out. maybe na jaemin was your happy ending after all.

#nct dream #nct jaemin #na jaemin #jaemin scenarios #jaemin fluff

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thiswreckageivebecome · 6 years ago

Text

As Long As It Takes (“The End.” -Part 25) (Sebastian Stan x reader)

Description: “I’ll wait for as long as it takes, as long as I get you at the end" You meet Sebastian Stan on the street in New York. What starts off as a fan encounter stretches to an unexpected coffee date and before long you’re caught up in a whirlwind and left with an internal struggle of what to choose.

Word Count: 4108

Warnings: Language.

Authors Note: As noted in the title, this is the final part to this story. Thank you for sticking with me through all of this. It has meant more than you’ll ever know. ALSO, in the process of moving my computer screen was destroyed so I’m trying to post all of this via the mobile app and we all know what a bitch that can be. Therefore, I apologize for the formatting issues that are found here. If it’s too annoying, you can find the story on Wattpad and AO3.

———————————————————————-

The following eight months seemed to rush by, yet move as slowly as slime simultaneously. You worked on getting your things and your life, in many ways, packed up and ready to move into this new chapter of your life.

Sebastian had to assure you multiple times a week that everything would be okay. You knew it in your heart but starting over somewhere new brought you anxiety some days, not to mention that packing to move was the worst experience of your life. When Sebastian had free time, he came down to assist in packing. The majority of the time not much packing was done, but instead laying in bed binging television and just enjoying each other's company. There were some instances, however, when Sebastian did help. The two of you went through your things, things you had retained in your possession all the way back into middle and high school.

"I have hoarding tendencies if you couldn't tell by now," you told him one time after the two of you had spent the last three hours looking through one tub of letters and pictures from way back when. The memories had brought back happy tears to you and much laughter for both of you.

"I love you regardless and I will officially put into my vows that I'll never submit you for that hoarders show."

"Ha-ha," you said the words out stocatto-like, drenched in sarcasm. Soon enough, September was ending and Green Day was calling your name. You had just shipped the last few pieces of furniture to Sebastian's apartment, it still felt weird to say our apartment, when a honking horn was directed at you. You smiled when you saw your friends, Beth and Caroline driving up. As you hopped in, Beth addressed you first, "ready to go drop some dollar bills!!!" You couldn't help but roll your eyes.

"Please, please, don't tell me you're actually taking me to a strip club for my bachelorette."

"You'll just have to wait and see," Caroline peeped in. The three of you headed to the airport to board your awaiting plane. When you landed, your friend Talley was waiting for you at the gate. You embraced as you hadn't seen each other in a year or so. You all headed out and to your awaiting vehicle which Sebastian has lined up for you. The limo took you to the hotel where you met Olivia who had flown in from LA to be a part of your wedding party. The five of you decided to nap before heading out for the evening. Sebastian knew you were off limits until the wedding Sunday but you still planned to facetime.

"Hey, babe," Sebastian practically hollered at you once the call connected. You had to rip your headphones out of your ears to avoid hearing damage. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry," he attempted to apologize, not thinking about the headphone not being back in your ears yet. You got the headphones positioned back in your ears and smiled at the screen while talking small.

"You're feeling good, huh?" You chuckled lightly. It was obvious the boys had already gotten started. Seb's eyes were glassy and he had that dorky, albeit very tipsy, smile you loved so much plastered on his face.

"Yeah! We're about to head back out. These dudes, I swear, (y/n), I love them so much." His face quickly sobered. "Not as much as I love you, of course!" His face lightened again.

You busted out laughing as quietly as you could so not to wake anyone already napping.

"Thanks for that. Make sure you tell every one I said hello." The next thing you knew your ears were hurting again before you could remove the headphones.

"GUYS! HEY GUYS!! (Y/n) SAYS HELLO!!" You just barely heard a chorus of "Hey, (y/n)!" in response.

"Babe, you're going to end up marrying a deaf woman if you keep it up."

"Shit. I'm sorry...again."

"It's okay. Well look, I'll let you guys go so you ca-"

"(Y/n), Chris wants to talk to you. Here he is." You heard the phone drop to the floor and the pickup amidst of "Damn, Sebastian. Hey, man. Why don't you go sit down for a minute. I'll bring you the phone when I'm done talking to (y/n) so you can say goodbye." You heard Seb agree before you heard Chris' voice.

"Hey, (y/n), how are you?"

"Oh, I'm good. Not quite as good as y'all are, though, it seems."

"Not as good as Sebastian and some of the other guys, you mean. I'm good. I've only had a beer or two thus far. Someone's gotta keep an eye on these fellas."

"Honestly, Chris, why am I not surprised?"

"At what exactly?"

"That you're taking it easy so that you can keep an eye out."

"Yeah, well. It seemed like the thing to do."

"Well, I appreciate it, Chris. I mean. It's still early and if they're already that tipsy, there's no telling how crazy the night is going to get." You paused, mind swirling as an unsettling thought crept in. Before you could stop yourself you said it aloud. "Sebastian must be getting really nervous about getting married."

"Hey, hold on just a second." You heard a door open and shut and a few more seconds of little sound.

"I wanted to step out where it's a little quieter so we can chat without distractions. Why do you say that? That Sebastian is getting nervous?"

"Just forget it. I honestly didn't mean to. It just appeared in my mind and transitioned to my mouth."

"Well, it clearly bothers you so I think I shouldn't forget it until we talk about it or you talk about it with someone. I would put Sebastian on the phone but honestly, I don't know how much good it would be with his alcohol-filled headspace right now."

"Chris, I really don't think I want to talk about it," you replied even quieter than before.

"You may not want to, but I really think you need to."

"Look, the thought literally just came out of nowhere because of him being so wasted so early. It just seems like a lot of alcohol very early in the evening. I know sometimes he tends to drown out his concerns with alcohol, not always, but sometimes. God, I make him sound like an alcoholic. He's not, Chris, and that's not how I meant it."

"I know, (y/n), I know."

"Maybe I'm the one that's nervous about getting married."

"No, I don't think you are. I feel like you've never been more sure of anything." His response couldn't help but make you giggle.

"You're right, actually."

"I thought so."

"For what it's worth, I think Sebastian feels the same way. I know I've told you before but I've never seen him this happy in my years of knowing him. I think he just is happy to be back together with his buddies he hasn't seen in a while and they were wanting to drink so he joined can.” He paused. "Man, I make him sound like a peer pressured teen." He started laughing and you joined him.

"You really did to be honest. Awww, teenage Seb. I wish I had known him then."

"Has Georgeta shown you the photo albums yet?"

"We've made it through his second year. That's it, though." He guffawed at this info.

"Well, the good news is, after Sunday, you'll have the rest of your lives to look through them."

"It'll probably take that long too," you giggled. A moment passed. "Thanks for talking with me about the irrational fear that creeped in for a moment. Everyone here is napping so I'd have no one else to talk to about it."

"Of course, (y/n), you're one of my best friends. That means we're here for each other. If you need to chat at anytime all you have to do is pick up the phone. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose I do, despite that I never really think to do so, honestly. That goes both ways. You know that, don't you?"

"I do. Oh God, I hope Sebastian doesn't hear because you realize we just both said 'I do''s, don't you?"

"Oh hell, we did didn't we?"

"Yeah, but I'll keep it on the down low." You laughed.

"Thanks, Chris. I was so worried you were going to show up and try to move in with me," you said sarcastically. "Granted, I'm unsure where you'd move into since I currently an homeless." You could practically hear his eyes rolling in his head.

"You're not homeless, dramatic."

"Well, technically I am still in transition. I'm just saying."

"In transition my ass. All of your shit is here and unpacked."

"No, it's not."

"The stuff you have in your suitcase doesn't count."

"No, but the majority of my stuff is still in boxes spread throughout Sebastian's apartment." He took a moment before answering.

"(Y/n), it's not, I swear to you. I have yet to see a box and I've been here all afternoon." You began to think and wonder because you had literally FaceTimed Seb before the girls picked you up and the only things you had shipped were furniture pieces so all boxes had already made it up there. In fact, Sebastian had tripped over a box of your things while you had been on the call.

"I don't understand." How in the world would he have gotten rid of all of the boxes.

"Hold on a sec." You heard rusting on Chris' end of the line. "Oh shit," you heard him say quietly and you could almost see him looking down in frustration. "(Y/n), I'm so sorry. I think I just ruined a surprise."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I think Sebastian unpacked everything for you and had already put it around the apartment. I bet he wanted you to feel right at home and wanted to surprise you by having everything unpacked when you guys got back. He's already separated his closet and one side is all of your clothes. Shit, (y/n), I'm so sorry."

Your eyes began to tear up, touched by how thoughtful and time consuming this gesture had to have been. He must have only had a few boxes left when you had FaceTimed.

"Oh, Chris. It's okay." You sniffled.

"Oh, God, please don't cry. I feel like shit already."

"No!! No, it's not that. I'm not upset. I'm just touched by his gesture."

"Oh, thank God. I was worried for a minute there."

"Well, look, I need to get off of here and take a nap. Thank you for keeping an eye on him, all of them, tonight. I really appreciate it, Chris. You have no idea how much I do. I know we're not supposed to see each other before Sunday but will you please let me know if anything happens and I need to be there? Or if you need backup because I feel like it's gonna get pretty rowdy."

"Well, you may be right about that, but I can handle it."

"Chris. You have Seb, Mackie, Chase, and Chu. Just those alone are enough to cause concern. Let alone the other four.” Chris busted out laughing in response.

"That is very true. Okay, I'll call if I need backup, I promise."

"Thank you. Also, don't take this the wrong way because I love all of them, but for God's sake don't let Seb promise anyone another spot on the groomsmen team. Please promise me that."

"I got you, (y/n). I'll keep them in line and out of the groomsmen line," he said chuckling.

"Thank you, Chris. Seriously, all joking aside, thank you. I forever owe you for all of this."

"Don't mention it."

"Don't mention what?" You teased.

"Oh okay, smartass. Let me go tell Mackie you added him to the wedding party."

"Shit. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." You both began to laugh again.

"Alright, well I'll let you go so you can nap and I can check on the boys. It's awful quiet out there."

"Yeah, you better go, then. I’ll talk to you later and thanks again."

"Anytime, see ya."

You quickly fell asleep. The next thing you knew, you were being awoken by Caroline and Beth jumping up and down on your bed.

"Damn, you guys." You tried to remain serious but couldn't stop yourself from grinning.

"Let's party!!!" They dragged you out of bed and quickly into an almost endless night of fun. After brunch you all finally headed back to the hotel to rest. Vegging out with plenty of laughs, catching up, and chick flicks were all in order on the night before you married the man of your dreams. Sunday came and the wedding went off without a hitch, surprisingly. You all danced the evening away before Sebastian and you headed out for your two-week honeymoon on a 2am flight.

Your honeymoon was spent traveling through Italy, Romania, and the Philippines. Before you both knew it, it was time to return to your home in NY. Sebastian still had a few weeks off of work so you two spent practically every moment together. Once he was down in Atlanta, you decided that you'd begin a job hunt, looking for something part-time. It worked out that Sasha happened to need some extra help around the shop so you stepped in. Since Sasha knew the inner-workings of you and Sebastian's relationship, the job at the shop gave you something to do and some income while he was away yet the freedom to visit him when it was convenient for the both of you. About a year and a half after you were married, you surprised Sebastian on set in Greece.

"Babe!!!" He exclaimed entering his trailer, running to you, picking you up, and spinning you.

"Sebastian," you squeezed his neck, "oh, I've missed you...so fucking much." You kissed him as he released you back to the floor.

"Oh, that goes both ways," he quietly replied after your lips parted. You both smiled softly but only for a moment. "So, babe! What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"Ahm, Sebastian, babe. It's called a surprise," you responded sarcastically.

"Oh, thanks for the info. I had no clue." He rolled his eyes back at you.

"I just missed you!"

"Well, I'm so fucking psyched you're here. How long are you here for or is that a surprise too?" Now it was your turn to roll your eyes.

"No, that's not a surprise. I'm only here a couple of days. I have to be back to work on Monday." Seb's face dropped a little bit. "Sure I can't call Sasha and work something out?"

"Don't call her. She doesn't know I'm here."

"What?" His eyes grew in size. "You didn't tell Sasha something? Since when?"

"Oh, hush!"

"I'm serious!! You told her about that one night that I had to go to the doctor the next day after what we did. It was like you couldn't wait to laugh at me behind my back. Actually I take that back, you laughed in my face. It was like you couldn't wait to have other people laugh with you." You attempted not to bust out laughing in his face once again. "Go ahead, laugh. I can tell you want to. Your face is about to turn purple from you holding it in." You complied and had to bend over as you couldn't stop laughing. He took your arm to keep you from tumbling over. Once you caught your breath again, you leaned back up, thanking him for the laugh and for steadying you.

"Okay, so a little bird told me you get off around seven tonight?"

"Who've you been talking to?"

"A little bird. I just said that."

"Well, you're right so you must have been talking to someone important or at the least, correct," he laughed.

"So dinner tonight?"

"Of course. Then a little dessert?" He winked seductively. "Actually, how about a lot of dessert? Maybe a couple of dessert trips?" He waggled his eyebrows at you. You slapped his chest.

"Stop, Seb. I get it, okay."

"I mean, it's been a month."

"Seb, I get it!" He pulled you by the hips to him, your face flushing.

"Okay, I'll stop...talking about it. But is it a possibility?"

"Dessert is a possibility."

"Wait. Just to be clear...dessert or," his voice dropped to a gruff tone, "dessert?"

"It'll be a surprise." He smiled, reading your mind. No surprise would be had that night. The next morning, however, Sebastian had a big, slightly prankish, surprise waiting for him. He had left you asleep in the hotel suite and headed to work. He stepped up to his trailer on set to go in and get ready, or so he thought. When he opened the door, about 30 pink plastic bodies slid out of the trailer. He was shocked but then he realized what the pink plastic bodies were. He couldn't see anything but plastic bodies inside his trailer.

"Surprise!!!" You shouted behind him about 10 feet off. He spun around quickly, jaw dropped in shock.

"Wait. What??" He said as a ponderous smile began to spread across his face and his eyes ignited with joy. "Are you saying???"

You simply nodded with a painful cheeky grin. He ran to you, picking you up into a bear hug lifting you off the ground in the process.

"We're going to be parents!!!" He shouted for anyone in earshot to hear. Little did he know most everyone on set already knew as you had roped them into helping you with the surprise. Everyone came out of the woodwork, or rather, from behind trailers, props, and inside the building, clapping and cheering, passing on their congratulations.

Later that evening after Sebastian got off of work, he rushed back to the hotel but when he walked in you were asleep. He fixed himself some breakfast for dinner. As he turned around to plate the food, he saw you standing next to the island.

"Shit. Did I wake you up? I'm so sorry."

"Sebastian, it's okay. I didn't mean to fall asleep, it just happened. I wanted to be awake when you got back."

"Are you hungry?? I'll fix some food real quick...for both of you." You smiled and walked leisurely to him, putting your arms around his back and interlocking your fingers behind him.

"I think we're fine for now. We ate a lot earlier. Thank you, though. We both appreciate it."

Sebastian lowered himself to one knee and placed his hand on your stomach despite that no one could really tell you were pregnant yet.

"I can't believe you're here, little one," he said caressing your stomach. You ran your fingers through his hair as he continued to speak softly to the baby and sneaking butterfly kisses here and there.

"You're going to make a great dad, you know."

"You're going to make an even better mom."

"We shall see. I have said for about seven years now that the only way I'd have kids was if they were yours. I couldn't deprive the world of little Sebastians running around."

"I can't wait to meet her."

"You want a girl," you asked incredulously. He stood up to his full height and pulled you close.

"Yeah, I want the world to have a little you running around." You shook your head and chuckled lightly into his chest.

"I love you, Sebastian." After a moment, his hands moving to your arms and leaning you back quickly he exclaimed,

"Wait! So you're telling me, you knew you were pregnant...and we did ....what we did last night!?" You burst out laughing.

"Seb, you can have se-" his hand flew over your mouth stopping your sentence short.

"Shhh!! She doesn't need to know about," he whispered and then softened his whisper even more to finish, " s-e-x yet." You couldn't help but giggle at how silly he was being and he removed his hand.

"Seb. Babe. Stop." You continued laughing. "You're being ridiculous."

"How long have you known?"

"A couple of weeks."

"So...you mean the last time we...before last night, of course."

"A month and a day ago, yes." You grinned.

"I just can't believe this. I'm as happy as I've ever been."

"Me too, babe. Me too."

You went back home. After another couple of months, Seb was home and on hiatus from work for the following two years. In the meantime, he didn't miss a moment of your pregnancy, the child, Sophia Faye Stan coming into this world, or her first year of life. After Sophia had passed the age of three, Sebastian and you began trying again and it wasn't long before soon you were pregnant again. This time you got the little Sebastian you had been hoping for. Mihail Stan was born in May two months to the day before his sister's fourth birthday. Sebastian continued to work but it was less frequent typically only working a couple of months a year and limiting PR so that he could spend time with you and the kids. Your little family purchased two homes, both near enough to either side of the family so that the kids could know their grandparents better. Your family spent three-fourths of the year in NY as it had become your home since moving and the remainder of the time in NC with trips down in between visits. After Mihail had gotten to the age of two it worked out that a new child came into the family but by adoption this time. Rosamie Sampaguita Stan came into your lives on December 22nd. Adopted from an orphanage in the Philippines, Rosamie was dropped off at the orphanage and no one had been able to track down her parents for the past year of her life. She brought so much joy and a feeling of wholeness to your little family.

By the time the kids got to high school, Sebastian decided to limit his work even more. He stuck to jobs that would be local and didn't require travel. You continued your photography business you started after Rosamie turned six. Sophia pursued acting, like her father, but studied at Syracuse. Mihail grew up loving animals and became a veterinarian, moving to North Carolina to attend vet school at NC State. He graduated with honors and moved to Boone to open his own practice. Rosamie remained close to you. She loved to dance and after studying dance at Juilliard, she opened up her own studio downtown, purchasing a home just a few blocks from the quaint two bedroom home you and Seb downsized to after she graduated college.

The remainder of your days were spent with joy and love. You welcomed the sons-in law and daughter-in-law and adored the grandchildren you were blessed with. It was a beautiful 45 years of wedded bliss.

———————————————————

I can't believe it's finally over. A part of me has died as I have enjoyed writing this story so much. Thank you to all of those who read and enjoyed. I'm eternally grateful for your kind words and eyes. I want to quote "Chuck Shurley/a prophet/ God" in Supernatural to finish everything out:

"Endings are hard. Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There's always going to be holes. And since it's the ending, it's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you they're a raging pain in the ass...So what's it all add up to? It's hard to say...No doubt, endings are hard. But then again, nothing ever really ends, does it?"

@pari0924 @yesixoxo @a-d-v-e-n-t-u-r-e-s @verymuchso-youknow@moniquefitzgerald@chmereaustin@rayonship07@buckyband@wydari@parisispretty@mylexlife@ivoryfoxfigliadeifiori@pepperspraymeiwillpeppersprayyou @crownie-sr@sebstan01@awinterloveuniverse@linksforlaylor@layoutmellet@theliarone@rebekastan98@discophony@inthenameofrock@glitterintheairblog@millie-saurus-rex@celinejfong@camerica96@emilyinbuffalo@seargantbcky@sebbysebbastan@iamwarrenspeace@jeelicious78@valentinachr@badassbaker @sebbystanlover-vk@mummastace @ssweet-empowerment @void-imaginations @ilovebeingjoyful @superwholockian5ever @mashed-fandom-imagines @the-nonsenseblog

#as long as it takes #sebastian stan #fanfiction #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan x reader #my writing

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Ali & Ro

Ali: One of your kids is here??? Ro: Oh no! Ro: I double checked everyone was aware of the cancellations and everything Ali: You know what people are like, probably received but didn't actually read/listen to the message, like Ali: I'll quickly get in before ma can be her charming self any harder Ro: Thank you Ali: [allow time for that] Ali: Done Ali: Why'd you have to cancel anyway? Ro: Sadly I have yet to master being able to be in two places at once, especially when one of those places is so ridiculously far away Ro: What's more surprising though is that you've remained at home for long enough shepherd my pupil in and out for me without assumedly cursing Tess Ali: Ugh, I feel that Ali: until we're blessed with time-turners, we'll all have to muddle through Ali: and I've been there enough myself to guess where you are, so I won't pout about any potential adventures you could've been on Ali: everyone is DOA and MIA today, plus if I let her shout at me for long enough she might not ground me forever 🤞 Ro: Indeed Ro: Well, I can't deny that would be very much appreciated as I've been subjected to plenty of pouting already as things stand Ro: You can let her know that I'll be making my grand return soon enough which will at the very least give her another target should she desire one Ali: You can probably ignore him, he's just feeling the ill-effects of a 3-day bender, like Ali: some hydration and vitamin c and he'll be over it Ali: can't say the same of mother but my sins definitely outweigh yours Ali: though the offer is appreciated 💚 Ro: He's very much fine in that regard I'd been assured prior to my arrival and of course did my part to truly make it so by making him a late lunch or early dinner once I got there Ro: Regrettably, that offer was taken very much not in the manner it was intended Ro: The tally of my sins therefore apparently exceed the number of yours, in Drew's eyes at any rate Ali: Sounds like Drew Ali: you spoil him Ali: Caleb's mum made him work today, as he was too sick for school Ro: All I've spoilt is his afternoon seemingly Ro: Yet again, I'm a waste of time Ali: Hey Ali: don't take on his bad mood just 'cos he's mad he didn't get what he wanted Ali: you know it's bullshit Ro: None of his grievances are unfounded Ro: I shouldn't break promises Ro: Even if I did make them for less than ideal reasons Ali: No, but you know Ali: you have those reasons regardless Ro: And he has his own reasons to be upset Ali: Which you're clearly giving a fuck about Ali: so he owes you the same in return, yeah Ro: Of course, but his anger is fuelled by how much he does care, obviously Ro: It's because he likes me so much that he wants to take things further than they are Ali: Partly Ali: but I don't think anyone can say that that's all it is Ali: not to discredit how he feels in any way Ali: if anything, it takes into consideration all aspects Ro: He is the only one who can address that with any degree of clarity but its a conversation we're unlikely to have for a while Ali: I'm sure it won't be anything like that long Ro: That almost sounds as if you are in fact discrediting how he feels but I have no desire to get into a disagreement with you about the one I just had with him Ali: No, I'm saying he's nothing if not persistent Ali: trust me, he'll get over it if he has any sense Ro: It's less about the sense he possesses and more about the degree to which my own has abandoned me Ali: Do you regret the fact you didn't or regret the fact you were considering it? Ro: Both regrets somehow exist side by side and I have no idea how that can be Ro: Or which of the many internal voices vocalising my many mistakes I should begin to listen to Ali: Sounds about right Ali: are you in love with him? Ro: Yes Ali: Yeah Ali: it's Ali: the worst kind of headfuck Ali: amongst many other things Ro: What would you do in my place? Ali: About what Ali: specifically Ro: My next move Ro: He says I won't lose him but I know it's more likely than not Ro: Especially now that Carly has her own caravan to host in Ali: You shouldn't do it if that's the only reason why Ali: doing it because you're fearful of any outcome is just a bad idea Ali: it should always be primarily that you want to Ro: I do want to but I also don't want to Ro: It's complicated Ali: It is Ali: it might stop being complicated Ali: or you might do it before it does Ali: either of those is fine and valid Ro: What if it doesn't and I can't? Ali: You will Ali: if you want to, then you will Ali: I said it was the most important factor but definitely not the only, not even close Ali: it's complex but you know, like most things, stressing upon it will never make it less so Ro: I suppose Ali: It's like all this stuff isn't it Ali: thinking you'll never get your period and then it just happens Ali: we've all got our own pace for all of it Ro: And my pace is several steps behind always Ro: Maybe next time I should just go to the party Ali: Well his is coming up so Ali: you will be at that one Ro: Oh my god, don't remind me I haven't even begun brainstorming gifts yet Ali: 😂 Ali: you do have time Ali: but it might distract you from this worry so have at it Ro: You're so fortunate that Caleb's is ages away Ali: I know Ali: so much of me cannot hack that, I'd actually die Ro: After emerging from Carly's mostly unscathed, you could be forgiven for believing yourself immortal, I'm sure Ali: It was pretty hectic Ali: not sure if I'd say life-threateningly so but keep that between us Ali: could tell ma though Ali: keep her from hysteria Ro: I'll use that as my conversational opener when I come in if you'd like Ali: Subtle, cheers Ali: tell her there were no recreational drugs or pre-maritial relations too, whilst you're at it Ro: Carly would appreciate the lack of, I'm certain Ro: More so than Tess would my attempts at such a clearly crafted lie Ali: Can't win with her, like Ali: don't lead with that though Ali: even if that's a truth Ro: It's the kind of day I'm having Ro: I'll simply wish on everything possible that the losses extend to calories as well Ali: Don't waste the magic Ali: I know you skipped lunch Ro: You know because I told you I was busy running around after Drew Ali: Exactly Ro: Nonetheless, I've spent more time on this bus than anything else Ro: It's a pity I can't transfigure my bike here Ali: it seems like a good idea until it starts chucking it down halfway Ro: True, I'd be unlikely to garner any sympathy or permission for more time off from Tess even if I caught my death Ali: Seriously Ali: if she has to see any of us tomorrow at all, she might actually lose it completely Ali: what with Bea and Fraze being their delightful selves all weekend too Ali: the only ones not on the shit list rn are Tommy and Joe and that's only through absence Ro: Precisely Ro: Much like how the idea of finding birthday gifts for Drew is favorable after the nightmarish pursuit we all have to endure in order to provide something that Bea will undoubtedly dislike and return where possible Ali: 😂 s'why I kick it homemade Ali: good luck finding any takers for my sentimental tat, babe Ali: bless Ro: Alas the memory of my childish homemade cards finding their way to the recycling bin earlier than I feel necessary haunts me still Ro: Did Carly like what you made for her though? Ali: 😞 Ali: Yes, thankfully she's far more receptive and forthcoming with her thanks Ali: and the caravan looks amazing Ali: looked, I HOPE everyone kept out Ro: It would be difficult for her not to be, Bea, of course, is without competition in that regard Ro: I was impressed by the pictures despite being well aware of your artistic eye and resourcefulness in gathering materials Ro: Perhaps you should take and utilise all the magic yourself immediately Ro: Protection spells have been employed and succeeded for less Ali: True Ali: and a good idea to boot Ali: I better do it remotely Ali: aside from me leaving the house for anything but school and work rn being a deathwish, I'm not sure of the state I'd find the residents in, like Ro: Hm, yes arguably that is an even better idea Ali: Obviously, I do not plan to be her prisoner for long Ali: but for a great escape, I need even greater plans on the outside Ro: It would be my pleasure to extend such an offer, dear sister, but my own flight of fancy earlier did little else but backfire so it's best I stay under lock and key until I feel suitably chastised Ro: Either by Tess or myself Ali: Self-flagellation is next to godliness, of course Ali: I'll think of something Ro: I have no doubt that you will Ro: But whilst the subject of faltering has been raised, can I ask you something? Ali: of course Ali: scientia potentia est Ro: I was just wondering if you spent much time with Drew this weekend, that's all Ali: Not a huge amount Ali: but I saw him about, doing his thing Ali: if I saw anything like that I would've kicked his arse and told you Ali: in that exact order Ro: Okay Ro: Well, thank you Ali: Of course Ali: sisterhood before everything Ali: especially boys Ro: My favorite religion and the one to which I've been devoted to for the longest and most faithfully Ali: 💚 Ali: What's your ETA? Ro: 13 and a half minutes Ali: Ooh precise Ali: that'll please the jailer Ali: tell her 15 and you'll be back in the good books when you're arse is up the table without her even having to shout up the stairs Ali: 👍 Ro: I already told her 21 minutes so I have enough time to fix my face somewhere that isn't a very full bus Ro: She doesn't need to know that I've been crying Ali: 😕 Ali: Cold water fixes all Ali: we can talk about it properly after Ali: feels like forever Ro: It's not too late to pray for a summer storm Ro: Though it seems everyone misses me until they get the opportunity to spend time with me, so I might be wise to adjust my prayers accordingly actually Ali: Not everyone Ali: just him Ali: and just because he's mad Ali: we'll tea and talk, promise Ro: As long as you share too Ali: I gotcha Ali: you wanna hear all the fantastical and sordid exploits Ro: Fantastical yes, sordid not so much Ali: 😂 Ali: I'll do my best to spin the yarn into something comfortable and befitting Ali: don't worry Ro: Being guaranteed one less thing to overthink about will forever be appreciated Ali: That's my job Ali: one of Ali: labour of love, really Ro: tá mé i ngrá leat freisin Ali: 💚💚💚 Ali: right, I got a table to set Ali: not gonna know what's hit her Ali: Rock even agreed not to throw any spaghetti up the wall Ali: providing I buy him sweets for a week Ro: I'm in awe of your power whether or not she will be Ali: whether a six-year-old can stick to a deal is another thing Ali: did threaten him with a broken pinkie so 🤞 Ro: I'll likewise threaten him with the type of hex befitting a 6 year old promise breaker if needs be Ali: 💀🐸🐀🕯🥀💀 Ro: Our minds have always worked in similar ways, that's a truth which deserves to be universally acknowledged Ro: But for now, go Ro: There will be plenty of time for talking later

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