#So it the life of the traumatized angel turned Devil who's a bajillion years old but also just now getting to experience Life in a nice way

[casimania]

Piercifer scenario cause I don't make enough of them: sort of future-ish AU where Lucifer and Pierce have been together for a couple of years, Chloe had her Devil/Cain reveal and is dealing with it (maybe even Ella, Trixie and Dan, especially him since he's involved with Charlotte) but the Hell/curse situation is still a bit unsure.

And then one day Lucifer and Chloe get shot at and while Chloe gets rushed to the hospital, Lucifer gets smuggled back home to recover. He does so pretty quickly and immediately checks on Chloe. In the following days he notices Pierce acts a bit off and can't put a finger on it until he sees him suddenly being even more of a hardass with Chloe when she's back at work. And she's kinda miffed about it, can't figure out if he's angry as her boss because of how the last case went, or personally angry for Lucifer getting hurt with her because he loves him. But he's impossible to talk to like this, she's dismissed at work and ignored out of it. And then he goes from being uncharacteristically clingy with Lucifer to snapping at him and closing off. Lucifer thinks about it a lot and has an inkling because he notices him being short with Ella too and suddenly ignoring Maze too who threatens he beat him to a pulp if he doesn't pull his head out of his ass.

So he ends up cornering Pierce to talk about it, and the discussion is like pulling teeth but Lucifer thinks he knows what the problem is and he keep pushing until Pierce blows up in his face and yells that he was worried. He got Lucifer home and could barely breath during his recovery, he was worried sick like he hadn't been in a long time. And then he was fine and immediately up and about and rushing to Chloe because he didn't know what conditions she was in. And Pierce realized he didn't know either, and she could very well die. And then had the horrible terrible realization that he /cared/ and now that the "Fuck fuck Lucifer is bleeding all over the place if he dies his family or the demons could use his momentary weakness to trap him in Hell again" moment passed he's got nothing to distract him from the fact that he was worried about Chloe. And then of course his brain is on loop and he's thinking about how Ella grew on him too and could also die any minute and Maze is though cause she's a Demon and is immortal but she's not unkillable and not as though as an angel and she could die defending Chloe, Trixie, Linda, Charlie or Lucifer from his siblings or even by human stuff if she's not careful enough. And he's frantically walking back and forth the house and is barely able to calm himself by the time Lucifer is back and tries to act normal. But then he's at work and is an ass to everyone because he's realized just how much opening up to Lucifer let his wall down and made him more open to other people and he's like "Nope". And just starts being again as unpleasant as possible so people want to stay away from him.

His instincts are telling him it's time to call his contacts, grab a new identity and fucking abscond. But 1) he doesn't even have contacts anymore basically, cause both he was as happy as he could be all things considered with Lucifer and had stopped planning his next move and new identity and because Lucifer didn't like the sort of people he was involved with and didn't even realize he picked up on that and was slowly unraveling the whole Sinnerman thing because of it and 2) for the first time in his life he both doesn't want to leave Lucifer but he's also thinking about how him leaving could affect Lucifer. Over the millenia he's justified himself that leaving the people he loved and that loved him was necessary to protect his feelings but also they could always meet and love someone else and had families and friends and he was just tired of being the one being left behind. He's always had a bit of a problem with putting himself first and justifying everything he did, and it only got worse with the curse (I hc that God hopen for the opposite result but fucked up big time like with Lucifer) and his walls became one big ass wall between himself and the rest of humanity as he felt less and less part of it.

And Lucifer wants to shake him because he knows he's scared and feeling vulnerable but he can't keep isolating himself and being more and more of an asshole because that obviously didn't help him either. Instead of seeing people he loves die he has to see people around him flourish and be happy while he feels lonelier and lonelier while telling himself it's a good thing and hurts less even as he forces himself to push away people by being unpleasant because he's human and deep down still craving contact and connection with other people. And it's good that he tought about Lucifer's feelings in the matter and he knows how hard must it be for him to realize how he's gotten attached and that leaving would hurt a lot Pierce too (and that's hard and scary and hurtful for him). But he needs to accept the fact that he cares for other people too and their feelings matter too. Now he doesn't have to deal with the fallout alone and they're still trying to find some sort of solution for him too that isn't just Lucifer being is one and only reason if lying. What his previous actions got him was only a lot of hurt and leaning more and more into his worse side. Because better care for only himself, people are fleeting and hurt you. And who cares about being good, he's already been dealt such a harsh punishment and remembers by history as literally the first bad human. He's just doing what's expected of him. But now he can seek redemption and help instead of digging himself a deep and deeper hole.

And in all of this Pierce is pulling at his hair because he can't fathom anymore someone caring for him so much and just being so selfless and him not being disgusted by it or feeling superior for not feeling that. But also he doesn't know if he has the strenght to do any of that anymore. It was just easier to be a worse and worse person and thinking about ceasing to exist. Thinking about loving someone, being loved back, accepted, catering for other people, admitting his mistakes and facing them? It feels like so much. Until not too long ago he loved in apathy, everything was a gray sludge and seeing how Lucifer was way older had still so bright and curious was unbelievable and he just told himself it was just because their situations were different and Lucifer just needed more time and losses and eventually would have ended up like him.

In the end Lucifer spent so much time finding something Pierce was vulnerable to to kill him but /he/ ended up being his vulnerability. He wormed his way between the cracks in his walls and ended up making them crumble and now Pierce is opening himself up to all sort of shit and feels kind of untethered and unprotected. And Lucifer swears he will be with him through it all but he needs to trust him and stop pushing them all away.

Their talk doesn't fix everything but they probably both yell and Pierce cries for the first time in who knows how long and he doesn't even know why but it's jsut that he's suddenly dealing with a lot of emotions and he's been bottling or ignoring everything for such a long time they have to get out somehow. And he's just crying and insulting Lucifer because it's all of his fault and he should have left him alone to do his own thing. Instead now he's doing shit like getting attached and caring how his actions affect others and wanting to be /better/ and he just keeps around the room going through 15 diferent emotions per minute and freaking out and still insuling Lucifer but lets himself be gathered up in his arms and held until he just Stops. And Lucifer's like "Oh my Dad he dead??" cause he's sort of cathatonic. But honestly he's just exhausted and goes into apathy mode. Lucifer rolls him into bed and looks over him until he falls asleep. And he sleep for like 12-14 hours in a row and Lucifer's calls Linda cause oh fuck he broke him. But Linda says this exhaustion is already normal for a regular human after a therapy session with a trained professional (and Lucifer has himself dealt with some of this after draining session with her, but he's never seen it on someone else and to this extent), and this was basically two fucked up immortals who are also dating trying to deal with how one of them was literally begging to die not too long ago and ready to just be evil and mow down everything in his way of it get him to finally stop existing and now he's suddenly wanting the opposite of that and who got him down that road his the man he accepted he loves who's also the Devil (the irony in that) and that's bound to be messy and tiring. And even Lucifer has to admit he's kinda exhausted.

By the time Pierce wakes up he's disoriented as fuck, ravenous and still kind of all over the place emotionally. Keeps his eyes trained on Lucifer around the house but is still short with his words. Lucifer tells him they don't have to go back to that discussion but to keep it in mind and to please not shut him out. And Pierce looks at him with these tired eyes and asks him why put himself through all of this, cause it's obvious Pierce's actions and words had their toll on him too. And Lucifer kisses his forehead/top of his head and tells him it's cause he's worth it. He's with him all the way because he wants too. Pierce looks away and grumbles he hates how Lucifer always manages to say things that make him go all squirmy inside. Then he pull a face and says "I can't believe I just said 'squirmy'". Lucifer laughs his ass off, Pierce grumbles more and goes back scarfing down his breakfast-lunch-dinner condensed into one.

He doesn't change much in general but he checks in with Lucifer more and just tries dealing with the fact that he's changing. Sudden mood swings and bouts of dickishness included.

Then probably Eve, Dromos and the Charlie kidnapping thing happen and then other shit and Character Development and Redemption Arc and Fixing Things with the Eden Family and Cathartic Discussions and a Wild God Appears and many other things and Pierce is just like, internally screaming through it all becuase he couldn't imagine himself in these situation even in his wildest fantasies. After millennia of bitterness, pain, deep seated anger, apathy and becoming the worst version of himself now it's a continuous "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH" both emotionally and in general becuase of the shit that happens around Lucifer.