#So I quietly excused myself and cried. I felt so upset and my headspace just resorted to being negative | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xbraveheartx · 5 months ago

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One of the most unexpected and most heaviest things to hear from my own mother was for her to comment on my laughter and to say how glad she is that in my age, after all the hardships I've went through and the times we live in, that my laughter is still the same bright and joyous sound as it was when I was younger. That after almost 32 years of life, I can still smile, laugh, and enjoy things; I can still find things to be happy about, to laugh over-- to express joy over.

It's a moment I'll never forget, a feeling of being seen and heard when I had gone so long thinking I wasn't.

#In truth it started with a gentle “Shhh shhh-- you still have the same cackle haha” because I was being loud #and it made me so self conscious and my brain immediately went 'youre embarrassing and youre not allowed to be this loud and enjoy things'#So I quietly excused myself and cried. I felt so upset and my headspace just resorted to being negative #When I came back she saw right through me and apologized to me. Hugged me. And then said that. And I just. Cried more dfgjhks #Hugged her back tight. It just felt nice being seen ;;;; ;;;; that was this morning and it's almost 5:30 pm right now #and it's still stuck in my head like damn. This is gonna be one of those moments I remember back on in regards to my mother.#We've not seen eye to eye for a long time but ever since 2020 something shifted I think #Slowly and unnoticed at first but. Something's shifted. And I'm hopeful.#adriel rambles

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