#So I just let my heart type what it wanted to type
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hs-is-loml · 19 hours ago
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He's My Favorite. (ln4)
Pairing: Lando Norris x Sainz!Actress!Reader
Summary: fans are speculating who y/n might be dating but it turns out it was in front of their faces the whole time. or y/n and lando are mistakenly considered to only be best friends and people are in for a surprise.
Type: Social Media AU! face claim is Bruna Marquezine!
Warnings: probably a few grammar errors. lots of fluff. drivers standing their ground against neymar jr. because he deserves his own warning. inaccurate timelines but then again this is a fictional smau! UNEDITED
a/n: i'm on a kick rn. nothing can stop me.
all translations come from google! english translations are in parentheses!!
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instagram
carlossainz55 just made a post
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 1,560,937 others
carlossainz55 so proud of this one! but papa did say your head is growing too big after you saw yourself on the billboard...and i agree with him. anyways, go support y/n by watching her new movie Blue Beetle now in theaters!
tagged yourusername
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sainzforlife this family is too talented for their own good-
yourusername papa did not say that.
→ carlossainz55 just ask him then @/carlossainzoficial
→ carlossainzoficial mija, es de lo único que has estado hablando desde que lo viste. (daughter, that's all you've been talking about since you saw it.)
→ yourusername papa, that's not very nice. don't try to pretend like i didn't catch you sending the trailer to all your friends last week...
iamrebeccad beautiful girl and amazing movie!
→ yourusername i love you more than my brother.
→ liked by iamrebeccad and 217 others
xolo_mariduena at least you didn't see her crying when she first saw the billboard
→ yourusername XOLO, NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT
→ landonorris send the video.
→ yourusername now, look what you've done. all the drivers are going to see me crying now-
→ xolo_mariduena you'll still take me to the next gp right...?
landonorris just to let you guys know she cried after this photo was taken too
→ carlando4life does this mean lando was with the family for the private screening??
→ 4papaya lando is a part of their family so probably😭
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landonorris just made a post
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landonorris can't believe this girl is going to be blown up on the big screen coming to theaters near you. jokes aside proud of you and everything you do.
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thatonebakucorner this post is so sweet!
yourusername thank you, lan🫶🏻
→ carlossainz55 why did you send him a heart?
→ charles_leclerc yeah, what's that about?🤨
→ yourusername carlos, you're just jealous you didn't get a post from lando
georgerussell63 i never get appreciation posts like this
→ landonorris what do you want me to post about your slideshows?
→ alex_albon it's because you're not y/n
welovey/n LOL not the drivers grilling lando about this post
ln4csforever "proud of you and everything you do" LANDO JUST TELL HER YOU LOVE HER ALREADY
→ paddockfashion please- like lando could pull someone like y/n
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yourusername just made a post
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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, neymarjr, and 1,341,972 others
yourusername such a crazy week but glad i got to spend it with some of my favorite people. thank you for all the love and support you guys have given to Blue Beetle!
tagged carlossainz55 and landonorris
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worldchampionsisaid what is neymar doing here?!?
→ neymarandy/n they need to get back together asap!
→ mywifeisy/n yes because that would be such a good idea even though he cheated on his baby mama while she was pregnant??
oscarpiastri lando is asking if you're serious with the guy in the third photo
→ oscarpiastri apparently, i wasn't supposed to ask you on here so now lando is yelling at me.
carmenmmundt proud of you, love! ❤️
→ yourusername love you, carmen! 🤎
ferraricountyourdays the third pic?? Y/N, WHO IS THAT MAN??
→ y/nismilf she needs to hard launch him already!
neymarjr linda como sempre, amor. (beautiful as always, love.)
→ carlossainz55 no, go away.
→ charles_leclerc wrong post, buddy.
→ georgerussell63 abosolutely not-
→ danielricciardo don't forget what happened last time you tried to contact her.
→ maxverstappen1 move along.
→ fifaandf1crossover do you know you have 30 minutes?
→ y/npleasemarryme love that they always protect her!
shesmyfavactress weird she posted picture with her bf along with one of lando and carlos
→ f1girlies maybe because she's an adult and allowed to be friends with her brother's ex teammate?
fernandoalo_oficial i remember when i used to be your favorite driver
→ carlossainzoficial those were the days
→ yourusername you two are still my favorite of all time.
→ carlossainz55 i'm hurt, y/n.
→ landonorris so was your caption meaningless?
→ yourusername i can't win.
whatacrossover oh, lando and y/n are definitely dating.
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yourusername just added to their story
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shared post by yourusername and landonorris
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liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, anasainzvdec, and 2,493,968 others
yourusername and landonorris just kidding, he's my favorite.
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carlossainz55 that hand is getting a bit low, don't you think?
→ yourusername get over it. you've had years to get used to this already.
→ inmyf1era YEARS you say?
landonorris i get to be with you every day. what a life.
→ yourusername i love you.
→ oscarpiastri you're ridiculous
→ charles_leclerc mate, look what she has turned you into
→ yourusername charles, i will tell alex about this.
→ charles_leclerc I WAS JUST KIDDING. PLEASE NO
lilymhe was waiting for this hard launch!
→ alex_albon i thought lando was going to spill before they could even do one
carlossainzoficial what can i say i love my son so i approve
→ yourusername could've said that you love and care for your daughter's happiness
sebastianvettel actually, y/n forgot who her real favorite is
→ yourusername love you, seb!
→ landonorris back off, old man.
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quarterlifekitty · 1 day ago
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Promethean
fuckboy!Soap x Shy!Reader x Ghost (college!au) p.2 here’s part 1
Uhh warning soap isn’t in this chapter and reader isn’t acting very shy rn lol
Simon managed to drag you, shocked and still on shaky legs, into his surprisingly clean car and across town to a little cafe. The guy with eye bags behind the counter starts making his order as soon as he comes in the door— must be a regular.
At the counter he points to a couple of items in the display case, before prompting you— you stutter out your go-to, and Simon whips out a beat-up debit card before you can think to pull out your wallet.
The largest size of earl grey almost looks normal in his large hand, a plate of pastries in his other mitt. You grab your own drink and follow where he tilts his head in gesture.
When you sit, he pushes the plate towards you. Like he’s dropping a fresh kill at your doorstep—a courting gift. Eat. Be provided for, sensitive doe. You pick up a danish, if only to ease the clench of his fist on the table. He pulls the black surgical mask down to sip his tea in a way that’s almost hilariously delicate given his permanent scowl.
You couldn’t have sat in silence for more than 10 minutes. But it feels like a lot longer.
“Simon. What are we doing here?” You probe quietly. Saying his name when you’ve never actually been introduced to each other feels wrong. Like you’ve stolen a piece of him that he hasn’t given freely.
“He never takes you out,” he grunts. As if that explains anything.
“It’s not… what we have isn’t like that.”
——
Simon chews on your overly diplomatic response for a minute. That’s what it must be, chewing— why else would he grind his teeth together when his tongue is still wet with his favorite soothing beverage?
You’re kind. Kinder than the mutt deserves.
“But you want it to be.” He says it with an almost biblical level of finality. Your pastry making the plate clink against the table as you drop it back down.
“What would you know about what I want?”
“You’re an easy read. S’how y’got yourself in this situation. Soap’s not exactly a rocket scientist when it comes to chattin’ up birds, you’re jus’ an open book.”
Simon shamelessly stares at your lips as they quirk in anger— so unused to vitriol. It’s gorgeous.
“So he’s using me. I know. Is that what this was about? Taking me on a pity date to let me down gently? Or did you just wanna see if you could have a go as well?”
Seeing you like this. It’s something else. He’s seen you mope around so many times, silently begging for crumbs that will never be tossed your way. It’s even harder to pull his gaze from you, now that you’re hissing. He wants to dig his teeth into your heart shoulder and rip out the bruise Johnny left you with.
Soap is his best friend.
“He’s a dickhead. You don’t need him. You’ll find something better.”
Simon has never been what he would call “something better”. Not in any sense. But this might be the first time he’s wanted to be.
“I won’t,” you say with the lower half of your face hidden by the sipping of your drink. As if it’s quenched your fire, and all that leaves you is vapor. “I’m not… the type.”
He gets it. Really, he does. He’s not the type either— or so he’s thought. You’re making him wonder if he’s imagined that about himself— the same way you’ve clearly imagined it about yourself.
“What’s the rest of your day look like?”
“…Nothing set in stone.” The not that it’s any of your fucking business goes unspoken, but is plain to see in the air between you.
“Lemme take you around. On a date. Be mine for today. If y’hate it, I’ll drop you back at yours and the next time you come round, I’ll mind my business and keep the door closed.” Well, that’s the most you’ve ever heard him say in one go. And it begs a question.
“What happens if I like it? You’ll fuck me in a different room of the same frat house?” Your unimpressed look makes him feel ravenous. She-wolf is threatening to turn her eyes from the display. Rejection. Not an option. “Or maybe you’ll ask me to go steady,” you huff under your breath like it’s a bad joke.
“If y’like it, then you’ll stay mine, and y’won’t fuckin’ want for anything. You’re supposed to be worshipped, not begging for scraps at a mutt’s door.”
He really didn’t mean to say it like that. He meant to bite his tongue. He’s trying not to think of how hot it would be if his intensity scared you into pissing yourself. He’s trying not to let himself show through the lines. It’s not working. Any of it.
The venomous bile that spills from behind his teeth reminds him that his eloquence is just one of many reasons why he’s single. Why he should be muzzled instead of kept. He doesn’t know why he’s taking it upon himself to do this. Selfishness, maybe. There’s plenty of better men he could’ve put up to the task, easy. The man who wants to feel blood on the back of his throat makes a terrible savior.
He feels like he can see your pupils dilate. You pick up your danish again and take a bite. You hold it out for him to try. It’s a test. You don’t think someone with eyes like his can handle doing cutesy, saccharine things. Like what couples do. That must be it.
He tries not to think of his teeth going past the flakey flesh of the pastry and sinking into your fingers. When his tongue meets the butter between the layers, he tries not to think of the salt sweet flavor of your sweat and tears. A seed from the blackberry jam gets thoughtlessly crushed between his molars— he hopes the bitterness will suddenly wake him up and he won’t be a beast crying for love at the heart of the world anymore.
It doesn’t.
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leona-hawthorne · 20 hours ago
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FICMAS #1— WHAT’S YOUR TYPE? / theodore nott
december 22nd
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theodore nott x fem reader
summary: theo is smart, but he’s an idiot when it comes to taking hints. sometimes, you have to just give it to him.
warnings: smut, unprotected piv, oral m!receiving, google translated italian (sorry in advance)
words: 2.7k
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Theo had this way of existing—effortless, detached, like gravity bent to his whims. He lounged against the headboard, a cigarette between his fingers, the smoke curling upward in lazy spirals. You were convinced he didn’t even like smoking; he just enjoyed the ritual, the way it made his hands look purposeful.
The dorm was dim, the only light spilling from the bedside lamps. Everyone else was sprawled across the furniture, engaged in half-hearted conversations about Quidditch or the latest rumors circulating the castle. But your focus was locked on Theo. Always Theo.
“What’s that look for?” he asked, his lips curving into a smirk as he caught your gaze. His voice was low, teasing, pulling at some invisible thread in your chest.
“What look?” you shot back, tilting your head and feigning innocence.
He chuckled, a sound that sent warmth pooling in your stomach. He took a drag of his cigarette and passed it to you without a word. You accepted it, your fingers brushing his. The fleeting contact sent a shiver down your spine, but you masked it with a casual exhale of smoke.
“So, what’s the topic tonight?” you asked, your tone light.
Theo raised an eyebrow. “Define ‘topic.’”
“I mean, what bullshit are we debating? Everyone’s always got something to say about something.”
He glanced around the room, noting the fragmented conversations, before turning back to you. “I think we’re safe to create our own.”
“Fine,” you said, handing the cigarette back to him. “What’s your type?”
Theo blinked, caught off guard. “My type?”
“Yeah. You know, what you look for in someone. Or are you too much of a brooding intellectual to care about such trivial matters?”
His smirk returned, sharper this time. “I’ll have you know I’m very discerning.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” you said, rolling your eyes. “But seriously, I want to know.”
He hesitated, the cigarette poised between his lips. “I don’t know. I guess someone who can hold their own. Smart, independent. Doesn’t take my shit.”
You snorted. “So, basically, someone who’s not a doormat.”
“Pretty much,” he admitted, shrugging. “What about you? What’s your type?”
You took a moment, pretending to ponder, even though the answer was sitting right next to you. “I’ve always thought intelligence is sexy. Like, really sexy. Bonus points if they speak another language.”
Theo glanced at you, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. “Oh, yeah? What’s so great about that?”
“It’s just impressive,” you said, leaning forward slightly. “Shows effort, you know? And…” You trailed off, letting the tension hang for a beat. “I’ve always been a sucker for blue eyes.”
His expression didn’t shift, but you could see the gears turning in his head. “Interesting.”
“Isn’t it?” you replied, your tone light but your gaze steady. He didn’t look away, and for a moment, you thought he might finally connect the dots. Instead, he leaned back, as if dismissing the comment entirely.
“What about personality?” he asked, like you hadn’t just described him to a T.
You sighed, exasperated. “Theo.”
“What?” he said, his voice full of feigned innocence.
“For fuck’s sake,” you muttered, grabbing his wrist and yanking him to his feet. The room barely registered the two of you leaving; everyone else was too absorbed in their own conversations.
Theo followed you into the bathroom, the door clicking shut behind you. “Care to explain what’s going on?”
You turned to face him, your back against the door. “You’re supposed to be smart.”
“I am smart,” he said, crossing his arms.
“Then why are you so bloody dense?” you asked, stepping closer. He didn’t move, his eyes fixed on yours, the faintest smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“Am I?” he asked, his voice dropping an octave.
“Oh, you absolutely are,” you said, your hands finding the front of his shirt. “But I think I can help with that.”
The realization finally dawned on him, and his smirk widened. “Well, by all means, love. Enlighten me.”
You didn’t bother with a reply. Instead, you tugged him down by his collar and crashed your lips against his. Theo responded immediately, his hands bracing on your hips as he pressed you back against the door. The kiss was heated, messy, all teeth and desperation. You’d been waiting for this, and judging by the way his grip tightened, so had he.
“You’re insufferable,” you murmured against his lips, your fingers tangling in his hair.
“And yet you’re all over me,” he shot back, his tone smug. Before you could retort, his mouth was on yours again, silencing any comeback you might have had.
Your hands moved to the hem of his shirt, tugging it up and over his head. Theo barely gave you a moment to breathe before he was on you again, his lips trailing down your jaw to the sensitive spot just below your ear. You gasped, your head tipping back against the door.
“I think I like it when you’re annoyed,” he murmured, his voice rough.
“Shut up,” you managed, but the words lacked any real venom. Your hands roamed over his chest, mapping out the planes of muscle and the scatter of freckles across his skin. He was impossibly warm, and you couldn’t get enough.
Theo’s hands slipped beneath your shirt, his fingers skimming over your bare skin. You shivered at the contact, your breath hitching as he pulled the fabric up and off. His gaze darkened as he took you in, his lips parting slightly.
“Fuck,” he muttered, his hands settling on your waist. “Così dannatamente carino.” (So fucking pretty.)
Heat bloomed in your cheeks, but you didn’t have time to feel self-conscious. Theo’s mouth was on you again, his kisses trailing down your neck and across your collarbone. Every touch, every movement felt like fire, and you couldn’t get enough of him.
“Theo,” you breathed, your fingers clutching at his shoulders. He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes burning with intent.
Theo didn’t hesitate this time. His lips found yours again, hot and desperate, his hands roaming up your sides and pulling you against him like he needed you closer just to breathe. The counter dug into your back, but you didn’t care, not when his kisses were this consuming, his tongue brushing yours and leaving your head spinning.
But you’d waited long enough for him to figure this out, and patience wasn’t exactly your strong suit. You broke the kiss, your lips brushing his as you whispered, “Why’d it take so long for you to figure this one out, hm?”
His smirk reappeared, lazy and infuriating as his hands settled on your hips. “Maybe I just like taking my time.”
You huffed, turning him around so his back was now pressed against the counter. “Then let me spell it out for you,” you said, your fingers already moving to the buckle of his belt.
Theo’s breath hitched, his smirk faltering as you pulled the leather strap free and let it fall to the floor with a soft clink. Your fingers worked quickly, unfastening the button and zipper of his trousers, and when you pushed them down his hips, the tent in his boxers told you everything you needed to know.
“Fuck,” he muttered, his hands gripping the edge of the counter behind him as he stared down at you. “You’re not messing around, are you?”
“Not in the slightest,” you said, dropping to your knees in front of him.
You tugged his boxers down, and his cock sprang free, hard and flushed and already leaking at the tip. Theo let out a sharp exhale, his knuckles whitening as he gripped the counter harder. You glanced up at him, meeting his eyes as you wrapped a hand around him, giving a slow, deliberate stroke.
“Still confused?” you asked, smirking when his hips twitched at your touch.
“Not even a little,” he said, his voice rough and tight.
You didn’t give him time to say more. Leaning in, you flicked your tongue over the tip, tasting the salty bead of precum there before taking him into your mouth. The groan that tore from his throat was low and guttural, his head tipping back to rest against the mirror.
“Fuck,” he hissed, his fingers tangling in your hair as you took him deeper, hollowing your cheeks. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”
You hummed around him in response, the vibrations drawing another string of curses from his lips. Your hand worked the base of his cock in tandem with your mouth, your pace slow at first, teasing, before you gradually increased the intensity. His breathing grew heavier, his hips jerking slightly as you set a rhythm that had him unraveling beneath your touch.
“Shit,” he groaned, his voice breaking on the word. “You—God, you’re so fucking good at this.”
His praise spurred you on, your free hand sliding up his thigh to steady him as you took him deeper. He was losing control, his grip in your hair tightening, his moans turning into something desperate and raw.
“Fuck—” His hips bucked as his head fell forward, and he looked down at you with wide, blown pupils. “I’m—shit, I’m close.”
You didn’t stop. If anything, you doubled down, your tongue tracing the underside of his cock as you took him all the way to the back of your throat. That was all it took. With a sharp cry, his body tensed, and he spilled into your mouth, a broken groan tearing from his lips as he came undone.
You swallowed, pulling back slowly and wiping the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand. Theo’s chest was heaving, his hair a tousled mess as he leaned heavily against the counter, staring down at you like you’d just knocked the wind out of him.
“Holy fuck,” he muttered, running a hand through his damp hair. “You’re insane.”
You stood, smirking as you leaned in close, your lips brushing his ear. “Took you long enough to figure it out.”
He grabbed your hips in one quick motion, lifting you onto the counter like you weighed nothing. “Oh, I’ve figured it out now,” he murmured, his voice still rough, but his smirk returning full force. “But I’m not nearly done with you yet.”
Theo’s hands gripped your waist as he pulled you flush against him, his mouth crashing into yours. The kiss was frantic, his tongue brushing against yours as he poured every ounce of leftover tension into it. His hands wandered, sliding up your bare back, fingers tracing the curve of your spine before tangling in your hair to tilt your head back.  
“You’re too fucking good at this,” he muttered against your lips, his voice low and thick. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”  
“Maybe,” you teased, your voice breathless as his teeth grazed your bottom lip.  
He chuckled darkly, nipping at the corner of your jaw before trailing kisses down the column of your neck. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you?”  
“Pretty sure I am,” you quipped, your hands threading through his hair.  
Theo groaned, his lips dragging over your collarbone. His hands skimmed your sides, his thumbs brushing under the waistband of your jeans. “We’ll see how clever you are when you’re begging me to let you cum.”  
Before you could retort, he lifted and spun you around in one swift motion, your palms landing on the counter as he pressed your hips into the sink. You gasped, his chest flush against your back as he leaned down, his lips brushing your ear.  
“Guarda te stessa,” he murmured, his tone dripping with sin. (Look at yourself.)  
Your gaze lifted to the mirror, meeting your reflection. Your hair was disheveled, lips swollen from his kisses, chest rising and falling rapidly. Behind you, Theo was watching you with hooded eyes, his hair mussed and his pupils blown with lust.  
“Sei bellissima così,” he said, his hands sliding down to unbutton your jeans. (You’re so beautiful like this.)  
He pushed the denim down your legs, letting it pool at your ankles, and you kicked them off the rest of the way. His hands found your hips again, sliding over the curve of your ass as his lips pressed to your neck.  
“You’re already so worked up,” he murmured, his fingers slipping between your thighs to brush over the damp fabric of your panties. “Fuck, you’re soaking.”  
“Do something about it, then,” you shot back, your voice shaking slightly.  
Theo grinned, his fingers curling into the waistband of your underwear. “Impatient, aren’t we?” He dragged them down slowly, letting them join your jeans on the floor.  
His hand slid between your legs again, this time bare against your skin, and you gasped as he slipped a finger inside you, his touch teasing and deliberate.  
“Così stretto,” he muttered, his breath hot against your ear. (So tight.)  
You whimpered, pressing your hips back against him as he added a second finger, curling them just right. His other hand gripped your hip, holding you steady as he worked you open with slow, calculated strokes.  
“Merda, sei perfetta,” he said, his voice rough. (Fuck, you’re perfect.)  
You moaned, your head tipping forward, but he clicked his tongue, his hand moving to your chin to tilt your face back up.  
“Guarda il specchio,” he ordered. “Voglio vederti quando vengo dentro di te.” (Look in the mirror. I want to see you when I come inside you.)  
Sure, you didn’t understand a word of what he was saying, but fuck, you couldn’t get enough of him talking to you like that. You didn’t fight against his hand, meeting his intense gaze in the mirror.  
Theo pulled his fingers away, and you heard the rustle of fabric as he kicked his trousers the rest of the way off. A moment later, his hands were on your hips again, guiding you back against him. You felt the head of his cock brush against your entrance, and he groaned, low and guttural, as he pushed inside.  
“Fucking hell,” he muttered, his grip tightening as he bottomed out. “You feel incredible.”  
Your hands braced against the counter as he began to move, slow and deliberate at first, his hips rolling against yours in a rhythm that made your knees weak. He muttered something in Italian, his voice low and breathless, but you couldn’t make it out over the sound of your own moans.  
“Che puttana carina,” he said, his teeth grazing your shoulder as he snapped his hips harder. (What a pretty little slut.)  
You gasped, the words only spurring you on as you pushed back against him, meeting each thrust.  
“Is this what you wanted?” he asked, his voice rough and teasing. “To be fucked like this?”  
“Yes,” you managed to say, your voice breaking as he hit a spot that had you seeing stars.  
“Good girl,” he murmured, his hand sliding up to grip the back of your neck, holding you in place. “Take it all, bella. Sei mia.” (You’re mine.)  
His thrusts grew faster, harder, and the bathroom filled with the sound of skin against skin, mingled with your moans and his curses in both English and Italian. You caught snippets of his words—“così stretta”, “troppo perfetta”, “dammi tutto”—and each one sent a new wave of heat coursing through you.  (so tight, too perfect, give me everything)
Your legs trembled as the pressure built, your release teetering just out of reach. Theo seemed to sense it, one hand slipping between your thighs to circle your clit as he drove into you.  
“Come for me,” he murmured, his voice raw. “Let me feel you.”  
His words sent you over the edge, your body shattering around him as a cry tore from your throat. Theo groaned, his hips stuttering as he followed you moments later, spilling into you with a shuddering moan.  
For a moment, the only sound was your heavy breathing, the two of you leaning against the counter, spent and satisfied. Theo pressed a lazy kiss to your shoulder, his tongue swirling over the skin and his hands roaming over your waist as he caught his breath.  
“You’re my type,” he muttered, his voice still rough but laced with affection.  
You smirked, meeting his gaze in the mirror. “Yeah, I fuckin’ better be.”
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​​ficmas taglist: @winnie1emon @ur-local-wizard @satosugu4-ever @ankoluvs @superstargirll @slytherin-princess-x @abeoavita @mattheoriddle101 @georgiastars13 @smoooore @mattheoriddles-sluttt @2dloveshp @mattysprincess @catching-fire-in-the-wind @revesephemeres @esmerai-artemis @clar2aa @iamaconfusedpan
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electrosuite · 3 days ago
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okay. al. i need something put into words. idk if you've seen it but in "we live in time" andrew and florence didn't hear cut when filming a sex scene. so i was wondering. could you do something where eddie has taken up acting. it's an experimental movie, so y'all are actually fucking. it's unsimulated sex. y'all don't hear cut, but you're so into it that neither of you stop. you don't notice until he cums, then you both remember the cameras.
warnings: swearing, fingering oral sex, descriptive sex, sex on camera
word count: 2.3k
a/n: i saw we live in time opening week and absolutely loved it. put andrew garfield's bare ass in more movies!!!
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One of the best decisions you'd made was moving to Hollywood to pursue acting. You loved it, and you were a natural. You could make yourself cry on command, you often lost yourself in scenes, and you weren't afraid to get nude on camera. That was something that was pretty common for the 80s, specifically female nudity.
You'd filmed many sex scenes in your career, but they were all simulated. Prosthetics, body doubles, cushions between bodies. But when you were approached to do an experimental film, one with completely unsimulated sex, your curiosity was piqued.
You were told you wouldn't meet the other actor until the day of, which turned out to be the first day on set. You were told that some studios, this one included, preferred to get sex scenes out of the way first and film the rest after. Your first impression of this guy would be when you had sex with him.
So when you were sitting on set in your tight black dress — which would be removed in the scene — and he walked in, your eyes widened. He was very handsome, just your type. He had long curly black hair, he was covered in tattoos, and immediately started joking around with the crew. He was wearing a suit, one which fit his body nicely.
When he spotted you, he walked right over and sat next to you.
"You my co-star?" he asked in a hopeful tone.
"That would be me."
"Eddie." He stuck his hand out and you shook it.
"Y/N."
"You look familiar. I feel like I've seen you in something else before."
"Maybe. Sorry, but I don't recognize you."
"I haven't been in anything big, just a couple of low-budget movies." He noticed your nervous energy. "You okay?"
"What? Oh, yeah. Sorry, just... I've never done anything... real. It's always been fake sex."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Mhm."
"Well, it's a first for both of us, then. It's a first-first for me, I've never done anything like this."
"Really?"
"Yep. Never even taken my shirt off on camera."
"And you're just jumping right in, huh?"
"Why not? If I'm gonna do it, I might as well go all in."
"Well, are you at least experienced?" you joked.
"Oh, I'm experienced. Yeah." You chuckled. "Also, I was told to tell you that they had me go ahead and put a condom on so it wouldn't disrupt the flow or anything. They said you were pretty adamant about it."
"Thank god. I really don't want to leave here today pregnant."
This made both of you laugh, but it was true. That was the most important thing to you when agreeing to do this movie.
"Alright, actors in positions," announced the director, who settled into his chair next to the camera.
Before you could get up, Eddie looked back at you. "Hey, I know we'll be recording, but don't let that stop you from telling me if I'm crossing any boundaries, alright?"
"Okay."
"Promise?"
"I promise. Thank you."
"Of course."
The scene immediately started with the two of you standing at the edge of a bed, inches away from each other. So that's where you went, your calves touching the mattress.
You'd read over the script for this scene numerous times. There was a camera a few feet from the bed, and one strapped onto the ceiling above where you would be laying. Neither of you would speak, just moan.
You were getting more nervous by the second, the lack of space between you two making your heart pound.
"Hey," he whispered, making eye contact with you. "You still good?"
You nodded. "Yeah. I'm good." You got yourself into the acting mindset as they finalized the cameras. "Ready."
"Quiet on set," yelled the director. Everyone hushed, the silence making you realize how many eyes were on you. "Action!"
You reached up and slowly undid Eddie's tie, his eyes never leaving your face. Once it was on the floor, he pulled you in for a kiss. It was gentle yet deep, both of you taking in a deep breath. His hands gripped your sides, your palms flat against his chest.
He reached around you and unzipped your dress, letting it fall to the floor. He then effortlessly unhooked your bra and you pulled it off of yourself. So far this was exactly like some of the other scenes you'd filmed. It was always a little bit nerve-wracking to expose yourself on camera — how could it not be?
He pushed you down onto the bed, his knees on the edge between yours.
He wasn't supposed to kiss you as long as he did. It was only supposed to be a couple before he moved on, but he was going off script a bit. His hand cupped the breast visible to the camera, which was now a bit closer.
He began kissing down to your neck a bit, then trailing along your body. He wrapped his lips around your nipple, his tongue circling it. You couldn't help but tangle your fingers in his hair, knowing it would help the scene.
As he kissed down your body, he maintained eye contact with you, watching to make sure you were still comfortable with this. Once he was to your thighs, he knelt down next to the bed and pulled you by the legs closer to him.
He slowly pulled your underwear off, dropping them on top of your dress. He continued to leave kisses on your thighs, making a genuine and impatient whine escape your mouth.
The feeling of his tongue on your clit made you gasp, your hands immediately finding their way back to his hair. This was weird with cameras, and at first it made it hard for you to really get in the mood.
But he was good with his tongue. You were so used to fake moaning that the real ones that came out of you felt foreign. His hands on your thighs, keeping them spread, were also keeping your hips still.
Usually when you filmed cunnilingus scenes, they kept their mouth closed and just positioned their face between your legs. So it was a foreign feeling to actually be eaten out on camera.
He couldn't stop staring at you, you looked so beautiful. Your head thrown back, back arched, tits out and nipples hard, fingers pulling his hair.
He wasn't supposed to make you cum, the script didn't call for it. He was supposed to do this for about thirty seconds and move on to the actual sex. But he was told that if the scene lasted too long, they could just edit it down. So he decided before even meeting you that he would make sure you had at least one orgasm today.
And it didn't take you long to get there. The camera had moved now so that it was behind him and to the side, getting a shot of his back and your face simultaneously.
"Fuck," you whispered to yourself as you felt your orgasm approaching, and fast. You were worried about how you would look, actually cumming and being recorded. You were trying to remain as calm as you possibly could, but you'd never been eaten out like this.
You were much louder than you anticipated when you finally came, and Eddie had to hold you down to keep you in the shot. When he finally stopped, he was immediately back to kissing you. He was still fully clothed, so you pushed his jacket off of his shoulders.
Instead of unbuttoning his shirt, he just pulled it over his head. He had a beautiful body, and you couldn't take your eyes off of him. You reached down and helped remove his belt, but he took over a moment later.
Within a minute, he was completely nude, and you got a good view of what he was packing. You were told before the shoot that you'd be having unprotected sex, and as you were already on birth control, it wasn't that big of a deal to you. Or at least, it wasn't until you were finally here. Now it was sinking in that you were about to be creampied by a guy you just met less than five minutes ago.
He was already rock hard, the sounds that escaped your mouth having gotten him bricked up immediately. He loved giving oral. It was one of his favorite things in the world. If it was up to him, he would've kept going, gotten you completely out of your mind before fucking your brains out.
He positioned himself back at eye level with you, reaching down and lining himself up with your entrance.
"That okay?" he whispered into your neck as he pressed kisses to your skin. He wasn't supposed to say that, the script calling for no dialogue aside from the natural swears that would occur. But he'd already gone against it, and asking for consent was something he insisted on.
"Mm," you moaned simply, nodding as minimally as possible.
With zero hesitation, he pushed into you, and the gasp that filled the room was almost comical. It was such a perfect porno moan that you couldn't believe it was genuine, even though it came from you.
He stretched you out so much, so perfectly, you weren't sure you could handle much of this. It was almost too much, too good.
He engulfed your mouth into his, kissing you deeply as he immediately picked up his pace. The bed was already squeaking, and your chest was already red.
The camera was above your head now, recording from an angle that showed the top of your thighs and your head thrown back as Eddie began sucking hickeys onto the skin of your neck.
That was when the scene was supposed to end. It was the shortest one in the script, which was another reason they wanted to get it over with first. But when the director shouted "Cut!", neither of you could hear him over the animalistic moans you both were letting out.
In fact, he called it about three times. But you two were so immersed, and your moans were so loud in each other's ears that it was useless. After a moment and after all the equipment was put down, the entire crew left the room and just allowed you to finish.
Out of all the times you'd had sex before, you didn't expect the best to be a completely scripted one. Eddie wasn't lying when he said he was experienced, he knew how to hit every nook in cranny in you like it was the millionth time.
When he felt himself getting close, he reached down and began circling your clit with his thumb. In the movies he'd seen, they always came at the same time. That didn't happen much in real life, but he wanted to make it look cinematic because, to his knowledge, they were still filming.
You gasped at the sudden contact, not expecting it. Thirty seconds later, you were cumming in sync, moaning into each other's mouths. He kept it going as long as he could but eventually he had to stop. Both his and your legs were trembling, sweat beading on your upper lip.
He kissed you for a moment, thinking in his head how great that would look on camera.
But when you both looked over at where the crew was, they were gone. You were confused, wondering why they didn't film as much as possible.
"Oh my god," you said, looking back up at Eddie. "Did they yell cut?"
His eyes widened. "Did they?"
"Did you hear them at all?"
"No, I didn't. Did you?"
"No."
You couldn't help but giggle at the situation. "Holy fucking shit."
"Jesus Christ, what the fuck."
"That's kind of hilarious."
He pulled out of you, pulling the condom off before grabbing one of the robes from the crates behind the camera, tossing another one to you. He opened the door to the rest of the set and the crew's heads shot up to look at him.
"Did... you yell cut?" he asked the director.
"Yep. Three times. You guys were so into it we figured we'd just let you finish."
That was when you laughed even harder, your head fuzzy and body tired.
After everything was cleaned up and you were heading back to your trailers, you caught up with Eddie outside his.
"Sorry we didn't hear cut earlier," you apologized.
"I'm not." He smirked slyly, and you felt butterflies flutter in your stomach.
"Do you think you'd do something like this again? Real sex on a set?"
He shrugged. "Maybe. With the right person."
"Well, if I get another opportunity like this, you're the first person I'm recommending."
"God, please do." His voice was raspy now, seductive, sultry. Normally you didn't pay any mind to men who flirted with you. But something about actually fucking Eddie seemed to form some kind of bond, maybe just in your head.
You reached into your pocket and pulled out a napkin, which had your phone number written on it. You leaned in close, wanting this to stay between the two of you.
"Well, if you ever want to do something without cameras, call me." You turned around to walk to your trailer, his eyes glued to your ass the whole time.
He swore he could get rock hard again right now if he wanted to. Something was different about you. You were one of the best fucks he'd ever had, and he intended on using that phone number sometime soon.
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poespetraven · 3 days ago
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Hiiiiiii hellooooooooo hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii so uh funny story I haven’t watched the new episode yet…
LET ME EXPLAIN
(!!!spoilers for both the X-tale comic and series below!!! (I’ve never tried using the “keep reading” line thingy ooh this is exciting! Heehee look at me being all tumblr proficient! (I still have no idea as to what I’m doing (shoot sorry I got distracted.))))
I DID REREAD THE X-TALE COMIC AND REWATCH THE X-TALE SERIES THO AND OH MY GOSH I FORGOT HOW MUCH I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT THE X-TALE COMIC, ESPECIALLY THE 2ND HALF OF IT LIKE OH MY GOSH I FORGOT SO MANY LITTLE DETAILS THAT MAKE IT SO MUCH MORE DEVASTATING BRO WHY DO I NEED REREAD THIS MORE OFTEN WHAT AM I DOING?!?!
Anyways, that was fun! I guess in a way it was kinda fun having not read it in a while cause like I got to be surprised by some things I forgot. Like Cross almost killing Frisk in the very beginning and then panicking about it and feeling awful. The slow build up of his suspicion of Frisk. And the whole deal with Papyrus secretly protecting Cross from his blasters to make Undyne and Frisk think he killed Cross. I had been thinking that Cross saved himself for a while now. And you know what? You know what that does? YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MAKES EXTRA DEVASTATING?! YOU KNOW WHAT OTHER KNIFE TWISTING DETAIL I FORGOT?! CROSS INITIALLY SPARED PAPYRUS! DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?! DO YOU?!?!?!? CAUSE I DIDN’T! I FORGOT! BUT AFTER CROSS KILLED EVERYBODY HE LEFT PAPYRUS TOTALLY UNHARMED AND WAS LIKE “Papyrus wants me happy 🥰” AND PAPYRUS IS JUST LIKE STANDING THERE AND THEN HE’S LIKE HES LIKE “yeah but like maybe you went like a little too far-“ THEN BOOM HES FUCKING DEAD. CROSS KILLS HIM! LIKE URGHHHHHH IT HURTS IT PHYSICALLY HURTS ME! AND THEN LIKE WHAT HAPPENS DIRECTLY AFTER? LIKE I FORGOT ABOUT FRISK TRYING TO GIVE CROSS THE HEART LOCKET AND THEN CHARA ACCIDENTALLY KILLING FRISK!!! LIKE I HAVE I ROBBED MYSELF BY NOT REMEMBERING THIS ANGST! IT MAKES CROSS’ REALIZATION THAT HE CAN’T ACTUALLY BRING EVERYBODY BACK EVEN MORE DEVASTATING!
So uh yeah I had a very fun time rereading the comic. And then I rewatched the X-Take series like the next day and OH MY GOSH IT WAS EVEN BETTER HAVING JUST READ THE COMIC LIKE IT JUST HITS SO MUCH HARDER AND I should probably stop there before I jump into another rant. This post was not supposed to be this long oops. I’ll just summarize what I was going to say by saying that this series gives me Feelings and Emotions.
BUT I STILL HAVENT WATCHED THE NEW UNDERVERSE EPISODE! I’ve being holding off for a day when my family is out of the house for long enough for me to rewatch all of Underverse Season 2 plus the new episode cause I want to try and see if I can put it on our television. BUT GUYS I DONT KNOW IF I CAN WAIT ANY LONGER! I THINK IM GONNA CAVE! LIKE I DON’T NEED TO WATCH IT LIKE THAT! LIKE ITS A NICE IDEA SURE BUT LIKE WOULD I REALLY ENJOY THE EPISODE LESS IF I DIDN’T WATCH IT LIKE THAT? NO! WHY AM I DOING THIS! I DONT KNOW! WHY AM POSTING THIS ON TUMBLR? WHY AM I STILL TYPING? WHO IS EVEN GOING TO READ THIS? HEY YOU THERE! YEAH YOU! WHY ARE YOU READING THIS? WHATS GOING ON?
…well I think I have officially decided that I am not going to wait until the house is empty to watch the new episode cause that’s stupid. I’m going watch it on my laptop with my headphones and a cozy blanket on my bed the way it was intended and it is going to be fucking fantastic.
youtube
UNDERVERSE 0.8 PART 1 Premiere
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helioooss · 2 days ago
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my favourite ex
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synopsis: when minjeong dumped you over a year ago, nobody thought that you’d still be chasing after her: your favourite ex.
w/c: roughly 9.5k+
warnings: swearing, making out. winter’s a bit of an ass. law terminology when i actually know nothing about it and university as a whole (this hurt my fucking brain cause i went to uni for a week then dropped out). some angst here and there. (is it even a helios fanfic without a tinge of angst???)
a/n: merry christmas again - first detailed make out scene, lmao :)
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the class was buzzing when you rolled in, skateboard strapped to your back, oversized “i love my ex” shirt proudly displayed for the world — or rather, for one person in particular, to see. you could feel the weight of the stares, the judgmental whispers blending with poorly concealed laughter, but it didn’t bother you.
at least, that’s what you told yourself.
“mate, you have got to be fucking kidding me,” ryujin said the moment she spotted you, her eyebrows shooting up so high they practically disappeared into her hairline. she nudged yeji, who turned around from her seat and immediately burst into laughter.
“you’re actually wearing that?” yeji cackled, pointing at your shirt as if it wasn’t blatantly obvious what it said. “y/n, come on. you’ve got to stop giving her free real estate in your head.”
“she’s not in my head,” you argued, dropping your bag on the floor with a thud. “she’s in my heart.”
“jesus christ,” ryujin groaned, burying her face in her hands like she couldn’t bear to look at you anymore. “you’re so down bad it’s embarrassing, just gets worse everyday.”
beomgyu leaned back in his chair, grinning from ear to ear as he tilted his head to study your shirt. “honestly, respect. this level of delusion? it’s kind of iconic.”
“thanks gyu,” you plopped down on the seat next to him with a smile.
“no, i mean it,” he said, gesturing wildly with his hands. “like, who does this? who actually wears an ‘i love my ex’ shirt to a class they share with their ex?”
“me,” you said, grinning to yourself. “because i’m not a coward.”
yeji snorted. “no, you’re just stupid.”
you ignored her, your eyes flickering to the other side of the room. there she was, in all her glory: kim minjeong, your ex-girlfriend, sitting with her clique like a queen holding court. yizhuo was whispering something to her, and whatever it was made her smirk — the type that used to make your knees weak.
that felt like a lifetime ago.
she looked flawless, of course. she always did. her hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, a few strands falling perfectly into place and she was dressed like she’d walked straight out of a magazine; simple yet effortlessly elegant.
even the way she was sitting, legs crossed and her arm draped casually over the back of her chair, made it impossible to look away.
you weren’t the only one staring. everyone in the room was drawn to her in some way, whether they wanted to admit it or not.
she was one of the richest girls at yonsei, part of the infamous clique of untouchables: minjeong, jimin, yizhuo and aeri. together, they were a force of nature, the kind of people who ruled the social hierarchy without even trying.
and yet, once upon a time, minjeong had been yours. your gaze lingered on her, memories flooding in uninvited. the late-night study sessions where she’d tutored you in the basics of tort law, her patience wearing thin every time you made a dumb joke to avoid answering a question.
the rare moments when her cold exterior would crack and she’d laugh; a soft, genuine sound that made your chest ache with something you didn’t understand back then.
the way she used to look at you, like you were the most infuriating person in the world but also someone she couldn’t quite let go of.
“don’t even think about it,” yeji warned, snapping her fingers in front of your face. “do not embarrass yourself any further, y/n.”
“what do you mean?” you asked, tearing your eyes away from the love of your life.
“you’re literally about to get up and try to sit with her,” she deadpanned.
“i was not!” you protested, even though the thought had definitely crossed your mind.
“oh, for sure you were,” ryujin whined, rolling her eyes. “you’re like a moth to a flame. except the flame is your rich, hot ex who dumped you in the middle of the busiest hallway on campus. remember that?”
as if you could forget.
the image was burned into your brain — the way she’d stood there, her voice calm and detached as she said: “i’m bored of you, y/n.”
the flood of emotions when people had stopped to watch, their whispers growing louder with each passing second. the way your chest had caved in, like all the air had been sucked out of the room.
but you’d smiled through it. laughed, even. told her it was fine, that you understood. because you did. you understood minjeong better than anyone else, knew that her coldness was just a shield she used to keep people at arm’s length.
she’d come around eventually, you were sure of it. you just had to wait.
“oh my god, you’re still thinking about her, aren’t you?” yeji groaned. “y/n, move on. she’s not worth it.”
“she’s absolutely worth it,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest.
“no, she’s not,” ryujin said firmly. “she’s cold, distant, and —”
“hot,” beomgyu interjected.
“— and way out of your league,” ryujin finished, ignoring him.
“i don’t care,” you muttered, glancing back at minjeong. she caught your eye for a brief moment, her expression unreadable, before she turned away.
your chest ached.
god, you missed her so much it hurt.
“you’re hopeless,” yeji muttered, shaking her head.
you sighed, leaning back in your chair as professor cho walked in and started the lecture. you tried to focus, really, you did, but every time you glanced in minjeong’s direction, you were reminded of everything you’d lost — and everything you were still desperately hoping to get back.
the class was dead silent, except for professor cho’s monotone voice droning on about the intricacies of criminal law. your head was propped up on your hand, and you let out a long, slow yawn that you didn’t even bother to stifle.
unfortunately, it didn’t go unnoticed.
“miss l/n,” she snapped, her voice sharp and disapproving. “if my lecture is so boring, perhaps you’d like to teach the class yourself?”
you blinked, caught off guard. “i wasn’t saying it was boring.”
“no, you were implying it,” she shot back, folding her arms. “do you have anything to add to the discussion, or are you content to waste everyone’s time?”
the entire room was watching now and you could feel the weight of their eyes on you. you glanced at minjeong, who was sitting with her arms crossed. she didn’t even bother to look at you.
one thing you hated was the judgment, the way your chest tightened uncomfortably under the pressure.
“i didn’t mean to waste anyone’s time,” you defended, trying to keep your voice steady. “i just yawned. it’s not a crime.”
“it’s disrespectful,” she retorted. “and given your current academic performance, i’d suggest you take this class more seriously.”
that hit a nerve. “oh, so now we’re making it personal?” you asked, your voice rising.
“y/n,” ryujin hissed from the corner of the room, but you ignored her.
“you know what?” you said, standing up and grabbing your bag. “i don’t need this. i don’t need to sit here and listen to someone power trip on their authority.”
“then leave,” she finished coldly. “and don’t come back until you’re ready to behave like an adult.”
“gladly,” you muttered, storming out of the room.
once you were outside, you fumbled with your bag until you found your pack of cigarettes. your hands were trembling as you lit one, the first drag filling your lungs and easing the knot in your chest. you leaned against the wall, closing your eyes as the nicotine worked its magic.
but even with the cigarette in hand, your thoughts drifted back to her. minjeong. her stupid smile, the way her eyes used to soften when she thought no one was looking. you thought about the way she’d laughed at your terrible jokes during those late-night study sessions, her walls crumbling just enough to let you in.
and then you thought about the way she’d torn it all apart. how she’d stood there in the middle of that hallway, looking at you like you were nothing and said she was bored.
the memory made your stomach churn. you felt sick, anxious, like you were coming apart at the seams.
“you’ve got to let her go,” you mumbled to yourself, flicking ash onto the ground. “she’s not coming back.”
the words felt hollow. you’d been telling yourself the same thing for months, and yet here you were — still wearing an “i love my ex” shirt like a complete idiot, still hoping she’d see you and change her mind.
you finished your cigarette, hanging around campus before heading to your administrative law class, your mood dark and heavy. when you walked in, yeji waved you over, patting the seat next to her. you slumped into the chair without a word, ignoring her concerned look.
“you alright?” she asked quietly.
“fine,” you mumbled.
out of curiosity, you glanced over your shoulder and immediately regretted it. minjeong was already sitting a row behind you with aeri, her face calm and composed as always. she didn’t even glance your way, but you could feel her presence like a weight pressing down on your chest.
yeji leaned over, her voice low. “okay, but seriously, what’s up with the shirt? you’re not helping yourself.”
you shrugged. “thought it’d be funny.”
“it’s not,” she said bluntly. “it’s sad.”
you didn’t have the energy to argue. instead, you focused on the desk in front of you, your fingers tracing invisible patterns on the surface. you hadn’t even realised you were trembling until yeji put a hand on your arm.
“hey,” she said softly. “are you okay?”
“i’m failing,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “failing everything. maybe i should just drop out. leave this place and start over somewhere else.”
she frowned. “don’t say that.”
“why not?” you asked, meeting her eyes. “what’s the point? i’m not cut out for this. i’m just wasting everyone’s time — professors, my parents, even yours.”
“that’s not true,” she said firmly. “you’re not wasting my time and you’re definitely not a waste.”
you didn’t respond, staring down at your trembling hands.
“listen,” she continued, her tone softer. “i know it’s a lot. but dropping out isn’t the answer. you just need to take a step back, breathe and figure out what you want.”
“i don’t even know what i want anymore,” you admitted.
from behind you, you felt a pair of eyes on you. minjeong’s. though you didn’t dare turn around, you could feel her frown, her sharp gaze lingering on your hands.
“just…think about it,” she added, giving your arm a reassuring squeeze. “you’ve gotten this far.”
by some miracle — or maybe out of sheer spite, you managed to pull yourself together for the rest of the lecture. instead of zoning out or whispering to yeji, you actually listened. surprisingly, the material clicked this time.
professor diaz, as sharp as ever, began throwing out questions to the class and to everyone’s surprise — including your own — you knew the answers.
“miss l/n,” he called, clearly sceptical after he heard of your earlier outburst. “procedural fairness — tell me, what are its main components?”
you hesitated for a moment, glancing at yeji, who gave you a small, encouraging nod. “uh, well, the two main components are the right to a fair hearing and the rule against bias.”
the professor raised an eyebrow, clearly not expecting you to be correct. “and? tell us more about it.”
“the right to a fair hearing means that anyone affected by a decision should have an opportunity to present their case,” you answered, hesitation still audible in your voice. “the latter will ensure that decision-makers remain impartial and free from any conflicts of interest.”
he paused, then gave a small nod of approval. “not bad, miss l/n. maybe there’s some hope for you after all.”
you felt a flicker of pride at his words, though it was quickly replaced by embarrassment as yeji smirked and whispered, “look at you, being a functional member of society.”
after class ended, you gathered your things and followed her out, ignoring the glances from your classmates. as the two of you walked toward your usual hangout spot, you spotted ryujin and beomgyu already waiting on the stairs that led down to the fountain.
the fountain, of course, was near the gazebo where minjeong and her clique always sat — and judged.
“finally!” ryujin called out as you and yeji approached. “thought you two got lost or something.”
“y/n was busy impressing the professor,” yeji teased, nudging you. “she actually answered questions. correctly, even.”
“whoa,” beomgyu said, putting a hand to his chest like he was in shock. “is this the same y/n we know, or did someone replace her?”
“ha ha,” you said dryly, dropping your bag on the stairs. “you’re hilarious.”
“she’s just trying to make up for the shirt,” ryujin said, nodding toward your chest.
beomgyu squinted at the bold i love my ex print and groaned. “oh, for the love of — y/n, take it off.”
“you take it off,” you shot back, smirking.
“don’t tempt me,” he said, rummaging through his bag. after a moment, he pulled out a plain white t-shirt and tossed it at you. “here; you put this on before you embarrass yourself any further.”
you stared at the shirt for a moment, then sighed. “fine,” you pulled it over your head without argument, covering up the text that seemed to offend everyone.
“there,” he nodded in approval. “now you look like a normal human being.”
meanwhile, at the gazebo, minjeong had been watching the entire exchange. she frowned when she saw you cover up the shirt, though she didn’t know why it bothered her.
aeri, however, noticed immediately.
“jealous much?” aeri teased, smirking as she leaned back against the gazebo railing. “what, you miss being the one she’s obsessed with?”
“don’t be ridiculous,” minjeong’s tone was cool and dismissive. “i don’t care what she wears.”
“sure you don’t,” yizhuo chimed in, grinning. “you’ve been staring at her for the past five minutes.”
she rolled her eyes, pretending to focus on her phone. “you’re imagining things.”
“uh-huh,” aeri said, exchanging a knowing look with yizhuo.
she ignored them, though her eyes flickered back to you just in time to see you grab your skateboard. you and beomgyu were at it again, attempting flips and tricks on the stairs while yeji and ryujin sat nearby, shaking their heads.
“she’s going to hurt herself,” minjeong muttered, though no one seemed to hear her.
and then, as if on cue, it happened. you misjudged your footing on a landing, and the skateboard flew out from under you. you went down hard, hitting the edge of the stairs with a sickening thud.
“shit,” ryujin said, scrambling to her feet as yeji gasped.
from where she sat, minjeong’s heart skipped a beat. before she realised what she was doing, she was already standing up, her eyes locked on your crumpled form at the bottom of the stairs.
“relax,” jimin mumbled, crossing her arms. “your ex can handle it. and dumped her, remember? don’t act like you care now.”
but she didn’t respond. she couldn’t take her eyes off you, her mind racing with worry even as she tried to convince herself that it wasn’t her problem anymore.
“jesus christ, y/n,” beomgyu muttered as he crouched down beside you, pulling his bag off his back and rummaging through it with the urgency of a paramedic. “you’ve really outdone yourself this time. does it hurt? of course it hurts. what a stupid question.”
“it’s fine,” you said through gritted teeth, clutching your ribs as you tried to sit up. the sharp sting that shot through your side made you wince and you slumped back down against the cold stone of the stairs.
“yeah, fine. sure,” he said sarcastically. “you only fell from, what, three metres? you’re totally fine.”
“shut up, gyu,” you snapped, glaring at him.
“oh, don’t worry,” he said, pulling a freezing cold gatorade bottle out of his bag. “i’m about to help you,” without any warning, he pressed the icy bottle directly against your ribs.
you let out a shriek, the pain sharp and immediate. “what the fuck, beomgyu?!”
“what?” he asked innocently, holding the bottle in place. “it’s cold therapy. helps with the swelling.”
“it’s called torture!” you yelled, trying to shove his hand away.
“stop being dramatic,” he said, but he moved the bottle, finally giving you a moment to breathe.
ryujin crouched next to you, her hands on her hips as she stared at you like a disappointed parent. “you’re a fucking idiot, you know that?”
“it wasn’t that bad of a fall,” you muttered, avoiding her gaze.
“you’ve got to stop pulling stunts like this,” she said, shaking her head. “your bones can only take so much abuse before they just give up.”
“and then what?” yeji interjected, crossing her arms as she stared down at you. “you’ll end up in the hospital and we’ll have to explain to the doctors that you’re failing uni because you spend all your time skating and crying over your ex.”
at the mention of her, your stomach twisted. “don’t bring her into this,” you muttered, staring at the ground.
“oh, we’re bringing her into this,” yeji said, crouching down to your level. “because, let’s be honest, half the reason you’re acting like an idiot lately is because of minjeong.”
“shut up,” you mumbled, squeezing your eyes shut.
“she’s right, though,” ryujin added, her tone softer this time. “you’ve been in your head about her since the breakup. it’s messing you up.”
“it’s not about her,” you lied, though the lump in your throat betrayed you. you hated that they were right. hated that even now, with pain radiating through your ribs, your thoughts still drifted to her.
you hated minjeong. or at least, you wanted to. you hated the way she made everything look so easy and you hated the way she walked around like she owned the world, like nothing and no one could touch her.
most of all, you hated the way she looked at you. because even now, even after everything, you swore there was something in her eyes that told you she still cared.
and that, more than anything, made you feel sick.
“y/n?” ryujin’s voice cut through your thoughts, bringing you back to the present. she was staring at you, her brow furrowed in concern. “are you crying?”
“what? no,” you said quickly, wiping at your face. but the tears were there, hot and unwelcome.
“you are,” yeji pointed, her tone softening. “y/n, what’s wrong? is it your ribs?”
“no,” you said, shaking your head. “it’s…it’s just —” your voice cracked, and you groaned, burying your face in your hands. “stupid fucking bitch, why does she have to look so pretty all the time?”
“who?” beomgyu asked, confused.
“minjeong,” yeji said quietly, her expression softening. “she’s talking about minjeong.”
of course you were. even now, when you should have been focusing on your physical pain, she was the only thing on your mind.
“alright, don’t fucking piss me off,” ryujin groaned abruptly, standing up and brushing off her jeans. “we’re skipping the rest of the day.”
“what?” yeji asked, glancing between you and ryujin. “you serious?”
“dead serious,” ryujin answered. “we’re taking her to joe’s juice joint, and we’re drinking her heart out until she forgets minjeong ever existed.”
“now that’s a plan,” beomgyu said, grinning. “i’m in.”
“guys, i’m fine,” you protested weakly, but ryujin wasn’t having it.
“nope,” she said, grabbing your arm and hauling you to your feet. “you’re coming, no arguments. consider this an intervention.”
reluctantly, you let them guide you down the stairs. every step sent a fresh wave of pain through your ribs but you gritted your teeth and kept moving. anything was better than sitting around and wallowing in self-pity.
as you passed by the gazebo, you didn’t spare minjeong or her clique a single glance. but you could feel her eyes on you, heavy and unrelenting, like she was trying to read your mind from across the courtyard.
“y/n!” aeri’s voice rang out from the gazebo, loud and teasing. “anything broken?”
“just my ego,” you mumbled without looking up.
she cackled, clearly delighted. “you skipping class again? what is this, the third time this week?”
“fourth,” ryujin told her with a smirk. “and yeah, we’re heading to joe’s. you want to join us after your class?”
the girl raised an eyebrow, glancing at minjeong, whose frown deepened. “tempting,” she said, still grinning. “might just take you up on that.”
“we’ll be there all night,” ryujin winked, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as if to shield you from the weight of your ex-girlfriend’s gaze.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the first day, it was easy for minjeong to ignore your absence. people skipped class all the time; it wasn’t a big deal. you were probably out skating somewhere or doing something equally idiotic and irresponsible.
she really told herself she didn’t care. she spent the lecture dutifully taking notes, her pen gliding smoothly across the page, her expression calm and collected.
yet as the minutes dragged on, she caught herself glancing at the door more often than she wanted to admit. no loud entrance, no skateboard clattering against the floor, no offhand comment that made half the class groan and the other half laugh. the room felt…off.
too quiet.
“focus,” she muttered under her breath, shaking her head. this was good. peace and quiet was good.
but the uneasy feeling lingered.
the second day was harder.
she arrived to class early as always, settling into her usual seat. she pulled out her notebook and began skimming through her notes, but her focus wavered. every time the door opened, her eyes flickered up instinctively, only to be met with someone else’s face.
not a sight of you.
again?
she hated how much it bothered her. hated the little knot forming in her stomach, the way her pen hovered idly in her hand as she stared at the empty seat you usually occupied. it wasn’t like she cared.
“you alright?” aeri asked during lunch, raising an eyebrow as she leaned across the table. “you’re kind of…off today.”
“i’m fine,” minjeong said curtly, stabbing at her salad with her fork.
“you don’t look fine,” jimin pressed, clearly amused. “what’s got you all grumpy?”
“nothing,” she replied, her tone sharp enough to make them smirk.
“is it because of y/n?” jimin asked, her eyes glinting with mischief. “you’ve been weird since she stopped showing up.”
“i haven’t been weird,” she snapped, glaring at her.
“you totally have,” yizhuo pointed out, leaning back in her chair. “you’ve been frowning nonstop for two days. it’s honestly kind of funny.”
“maybe you should just ask her friends where she is,” jimin suggested casually, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “wouldn’t it put your mind at ease?”
“i don’t care where she is,” minjeong said rather quickly, her voice colder than she intended. “it’s none of my business.”
“sure it’s not,” aeri chuckled, exchanging a knowing look with jimin and yizhuo.
she didn’t dignify them with a response. instead, she stood abruptly, grabbing her bag and walking away. she hated how transparent she was, hated that her friends could see right through her.
but as much as she wanted to pretend she didn’t care, the nagging unease wouldn’t go away. your absence felt like a puzzle piece out of place and she hated unsolved puzzles.
the fountain steps were as loud and chaotic as ever when minjeong approached, her unease simmering just beneath her calm exterior. she spotted your friends easily — beomgyu, ryujin and yeji sitting in their usual spot, laughing about something as he gestured wildly with his hands.
she hesitated for a moment, her pride warring with her curiosity. then, with a deep breath, she walked up to them, her expression carefully neutral.
the first to notice her was beomgyu, who immediately froze mid-gesture. “uh…” he blinked, clearly caught off guard. “can we help you?”
“where’s y/n?” she asked, cutting straight to the point. her tone was as cold as ever, but her fingers tightened around the strap of her bag.
ryujin raised an eyebrow, exchanging a glance with yeji. “why do you care?”
“i don’t,” she replied quickly, though the words felt hollow. “i just noticed she wasn’t in class. that’s all.”
“you noticed,” beomgyu said, leaning back with a grin. “interesting.”
“just answer the question,” she demanded, her patience wearing thin.
ryujin sighed dramatically, leaning forward with a smirk. “well, since you’re so curious…she fainted at joe’s the other day, y’know, when she fell down these stairs.”
minjeong’s calm facade cracked. her eyes widened slightly, her grip tightening on her bag. “she fainted?”
“yeah,” ryujin said, her tone casual but her eyes glinting with amusement. “we were all hanging out, having a good time and then boom — she just collapsed.”
her stomach twisted. “collapsed?” her voice was quieter now, less sharp. “what?”
“yep,” yeji added, nodding solemnly. “we had to take her to the hospital. turns out she fractured a rib when she fell on the stairs.”
the words hit your ex-girlfriend like a punch to the gut. fractured a rib? the image of your fall replayed in her mind, but this time it felt sharper, more vivid. she could still hear the sickening thud of your body hitting the stairs, see the way you’d clutched your side in pain.
and now, knowing you hadn’t just brushed it off, that it was serious enough to land you in hospital, made minjeong’s chest ache in a way she didn’t like.
“so, there you go,” ryujin yawned, tilting her head. “your curiosity satisfied?”
she didn’t respond, choosing to turn on her heel and walk away — her mind racing. she told herself it didn’t matter.
you didn’t matter.
she stared blankly at her phone, her thumb idly scrolling through an endless feed of nothing. the sounds of her friends chatting around her faded into the background and she leaned back against the bench, her thoughts pulling her under.
she didn’t know why she broke up with you that day. no matter how many times she replayed the memory in her head, it never made sense. one moment, you were telling her some absurdly funny story about your boss — a ridiculous tale about how he had a deep-rooted fear of olives and couldn’t even look at a martini without panicking.
she remembered laughing at that, really laughed and it felt easy, like it always did with you. you’d grinned at her, bright and carefree; the kind of smile that felt like it was meant just for her.
and then, almost without thinking, she’d said it.
“i’m bored of you.”
the words had tumbled out of her mouth, cold and sharp, before she even realised what she was doing. she remembered the way your expression had faltered for the briefest of moments, like a flicker of a flame before it was snuffed out.
and then, as if to spite her, you’d smiled. laughed, even.
“cool. no worries,” you’d replied, your tone light and easy, like she hadn’t just ripped the ground out from under you.
but she saw the way your shoulders stiffened as you turned and walked away and for the first time, she had felt the weight of what she’d done.
she’d tried to convince herself it was the right choice. your relationship had been getting…too real.
a year was a long time, longer than she ever thought she’d spend with anyone. and with every passing day, you’d peeled back more and more of her walls, learning things about her that she didn’t even know she wanted to share.
it terrified her how easily you read her, how you’d figured her out like you were studying a map of her soul.
she hated it. hated that you could tell what kind of mood she was in just by the way she tapped her pen during lectures. hated that you knew her coffee order by heart, down to the extra splash of milk she only liked on rainy days. hated that you always noticed when she was struggling, even when she didn’t say a word.
she hated that she’d started to depend on you — because if you knew her so well, if you’d gotten that close, then it meant you had the power to hurt her in a way no one else ever had.
and minjeong didn’t know if she could handle that.
so, she’d broken things off. not gently, not in private, but in the loudest, cruelest way possible. if she made you hate her, if she pushed you far enough away, then maybe she could protect herself.
except you didn’t hate her.
you didn’t yell at her, or cry, or make a scene. you just…kept smiling. kept acting like it didn’t bother you, like you understood her better than she understood herself. and then, to her frustration, you started chasing her. showing up to class wearing ridiculous shirts, making jokes loud enough for her to hear and skating around like you didn’t have a care in the world.
it drove her insane.
it wasn’t fair. she’d ended things because she needed distance, needed to feel in control again, and here you were, acting like you could still get under her skin whenever you wanted.
she clenched her jaw, staring down at her phone. the image of you sitting in the hospital, clutching your ribs and pretending it didn’t hurt, flashed in her mind.
you were so stubborn, so reckless, and it infuriated her that she still cared.
“you okay?” yizhuo’s voice cut through her thoughts, and minjeong looked up, realising she’d been silent for too long.
“fine,” she muttered, but the word felt hollow.
“you don’t look fine,” aeri teased, leaning closer. “what’s got you so worked up? your ex again?”
minjeong’s jaw tightened. she hated how easily her friends could read her, hated that she was so transparent. “no,” she answered sharply.
“uh-huh,” jimin said, smirking. “sure it’s not.”
she ignored them, turning her focus inward again. you needed to stop chasing her, stop showing up with that stupid grin that made her chest ache in ways she didn’t want to think about.
maybe if she made it clear that she’d moved on, you’d finally back off. you were proud, after all — too proud to stick around if you thought she was interested in someone else.
an idea formed in her mind, one she didn’t entirely like but couldn’t shake.
maybe i should be seen with someone else in front of her.
if you saw her laughing with someone else, leaning in close, maybe even touching their arm, you’d get the message.
she exhaled, closing her eyes for a moment. it would hurt you — she knew that.
but wasn’t that the point? if hurting you meant protecting herself, wasn’t it worth it?
minjeong opened her eyes, her decision made. she’ll stop. she has to.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
you were already regretting coming in. every step you took through the halls felt heavier, slower, like the whispers around you were dragging you down. usually, the energy on campus buzzed with something familiar — greetings, smiles and nods of acknowledgment as people called out your name.
today, however, there was a sudden shift. people were staring, their hushed voices following you like shadows.
you weren’t used to this. the stares weren’t friendly; they were curious, cautious, like you were some sort of sideshow spectacle.
your mind raced with questions as the weight of their gazes pressed on you: what the fuck have i done now?
“you should’ve stayed home,” ryujin muttered from beside you, her arms crossed and her pace slowing to match yours. “seriously, what are you even doing here?”
“i have to try,” you mumbled, not meeting her gaze. the ache in your ribs flared with every step, but you forced yourself to keep walking. “if i don’t, i’ll have to repeat. and that’s more embarrassing than walking around like this.”
she sighed, shaking her head. “you’re impossible, you know that?”
you didn’t respond, you couldn’t. the pain was bad enough, but the whispers and the growing pit of anxiety in your stomach made it worse. you tried to focus on getting to class, on anything but the way people seemed to glance at you and then quickly look away.
when you finally reached the lecture hall of your evidence class, yeji was waiting near the entrance, her arms crossed. the moment she saw you, she walked up and grabbed your wrist. “come on.”
“what —” you started, but yeji was already pulling you toward the front of the room, far from your usual spot in the back.
“why are we sitting here?” you frowned, glancing back at ryujin, who followed silently, her expression unreadable.
“just trust me,” yeji mumbled, her tone firm as she steered you into a seat in the front row. “you’ll thank me later.”
heaving out a sigh, you didn’t argue. your ribs throbbed as you sank into the chair and you focused on pulling out your notebook and pen, determined to make it through the lecture. you began to scribble notes as it began, your mind too foggy with pain to think about anything else.
direct. circumstantial. hearsay.
until your pen slipped out of your fingers and clattered to the floor behind you.
groaning in pain, you turned slowly, twisting just enough to grab it. when you looked up, the sight in the back of the room hit you harder than the fall that fractured your rib.
minjeong was sitting next to sungchan. not just sitting — close. too close. her body angled toward him, her arm resting on the desk between them, the space so small it might as well not have fucking existed. his stupid smile stretched across his face as he leaned toward her, saying something that made her chuckle softly.
the only thing rooted in place was disbelief as your breath caught in your throat. your fingers froze around the pen. it wasn’t just that they were sitting together; it was the way they looked. comfortable. familiar. like this wasn’t the first time.
what the fuck?
ryujin noticed the change in your expression immediately. “y/n?” she whispered, nudging your arm gently. “hey, you good?”
but you weren’t good. you were anything but good. the pain in your ribs was nothing compared to the ache that spread through your chest like wildfire.
your gaze flickered back to the front, but it was too late. the damage was done. the rest of the lecture passed in a haze, your pen barely moving across the page. you couldn’t focus, all you could see was minjeong and sungchan, sitting together like they belonged there, like she hadn’t asked about you just days ago.
so this is what she wanted, you thought bitterly, your jaw clenched so tight it ached.
some time alone so sungchan could sweep her off her feet?
you thought she cared. you really thought that despite her cold front towards you, that there was still something there, but apparently, you’d been wrong.
she didn’t even glance your way. not once. she stayed glued to him the entire lecture, her quiet laughter ringing faintly in your ears like a cruel reminder.
when the class ended, you packed your things in silence, your hands trembling slightly as you stuffed your notebook into your bag. you didn’t say a word to ryujin or yeji as you walked out, the hollow ache in your chest growing with every step.
she doesn’t care, you told yourself. she never did.
the thought didn’t stop the sting.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the walk to your next class was excruciatingly quiet. too quiet. beomgyu was by your side, matching your pace as the two of you moved through the crowded hallway, but he didn’t say much.
for once, the usual chatter and easy jokes he always carried with him were absent, lips pressed into a thin line, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie — like he was trying to make himself invisible.
he’d noticed, of course. he always did. you’d seen minjeong and sungchan together in the last lecture and it had sucked the life out of you. he’d seen the way your expression had darkened, the fire in your eyes replaced with something duller; something he didn’t like.
you were a ticking time bomb. and he was scared.
“you okay?” he asked finally, his voice hesitant.
you nodded, your eyes focused on the floor ahead of you. “fine.”
he didn’t believe you, not for a second, but he didn’t push. instead, he tried to fill the silence with small talk, his usual coping mechanism.
“so,” he said, forcing a grin. “how’s the rib? still feel like your entire torso’s on fire, or is it more of a dull, stabbing pain now?”
normally, you’d have some kind of snarky remark for him, a sarcastic jab or a playful insult. but now, you just shrugged, your shoulders heavy with the weight of everything unsaid.
beomgyu fell silent. it was rare for him to feel uncomfortable, but something about this version of you — quiet, almost lifeless, set him on edge.
the two of you walked into your tutorial room and took your seats. at least minjeong wasn’t here, but sungchan was. and even worse, he was sitting just a few rows behind you, loud enough for you to hear every word he was saying.
“yeah, man, she’s amazing,” sungchan was saying to one of his friends, his voice carrying across the room like nails on a chalkboard. “she’s smart, funny, gorgeous…i mean, i’m going to make her mine.”
your grip tightened around your pen.
“like, she’s not even cold, you know?” he continued, his tone insistent, as if he were the authority on minjeong’s personality. “she’s just…selective. she doesn’t waste her time on people who don’t deserve her.”
every word he said felt like a dagger, twisting deeper and deeper. he spoke about minjeong like he knew her, like he truly understood her and it made your stomach churn.
he doesn’t know her. he doesn’t.
then again, maybe he was right. maybe you didn’t deserve her. maybe you never had.
the tutorial on property law dragged on, every second stretching into an eternity. when it finally ended, you were the last to pack up, moving sluggishly as the room emptied around you. beomgyu hovered nearby, watching you like you might break at any moment.
“y/n,” professor anderson’s voice pulled you from your thoughts and you looked up to see professor anderson, her warm brown eyes filled with concern.
she was one of the few professors who actually seemed to care about her students, and she’d always had a soft spot for you, even if you were a pain in her class sometimes.
“yes, professor?” you asked, your voice quieter than usual.
she crossed her arms, leaning against her desk as she studied you. “you need to pull it together,” she said, her tone gentle but firm. “i don’t know what’s going on with you, but whatever it is, you need to let it go. focus on yourself, not on…other distractions.”
you knew exactly what she meant, but you didn’t argue. instead, you nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “i understand,” you said quietly. “thank you, professor.”
“you’re capable, y/n,” she added, her voice softening. “more than you realise. don’t waste that.”
you nodded again, murmuring a quiet “i’ll try” before walking out of the room.
beomgyu followed silently, his usual teasing absent as he guided you toward the stairs where your friends always hung out.
as you approached, your eyes drifted to the gazebo. there they were — minjeong, sungchan and the rest of her friends. he was sitting exactly where you used to sit sometimes, his arm casually draped along the back of the bench, leaning into her like he belonged there.
you looked away quickly, but the image was burned into your mind.
“don’t do anything stupid,” yeji started as you reached the stairs, her voice cutting through the haze in your mind. “seriously, y/n. you’ve already hurt yourself enough. don’t make it worse.”
“she’s right,” beomgyu added, sitting beside you. “minjeong’s made her feelings pretty clear, hasn’t she? maybe it’s time to…you know, let it go.”
you sat there for a moment, staring down at your hands. their words were harsh, but they weren’t wrong. she really had made it clear. over and over again, she’d shown you exactly where you stood in her life.
“okay,” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper.
yeji frowned. “okay?”
you exhaled, the weight of the past year pressing down on you like a tidal wave. “i give up on her.”
the silence that followed was heavy, but for the first time in what felt like forever, you didn’t feel like you were drowning.
“it’s about time,” ryujin cut through the silence, her voice lacking its usual teasing edge.
beomgyu clapped a hand on your shoulder, his grin tentative but hopeful. “you’re gonna be okay, y/n.”
you nodded, your gaze drifting back to the gazebo for a moment before turning away. it still hurt, but maybe, just maybe, you were ready to start moving on.
but those words had barely left your mouth when the weight of everything hit you all at once. you thought saying it aloud would feel like some kind of release, a burden lifted.
instead, it was like the air had been sucked out of your lungs. the edges of your vision blurred as your chest tightened, your heart pounding so hard it drowned out everything around you.
you couldn’t breathe.
“y/n?” yeji’s voice came from somewhere far away, muffled and distant. “are you okay?”
your hands were trembling, your fingers curling into fists as you struggled to pull in air. your body felt too heavy, your chest heaving as you fought against the invisible weight pressing down on you.
“shit,” ryujin said, her voice sharp with alarm. “she’s having a panic attack.”
your ribs ached with every shallow breath, the pain only amplifying the sense of suffocation.
“y/n, look at me,” beomgyu called out calmly, crouching in front of you. his voice was steadier than the others, but you could hear the undercurrent of worry. “hey, it’s okay. you’re okay. just breathe, yeah? in through your nose, out through your mouth.”
the panic clawed at your chest, your mind spiralling as thoughts of minjeong, sungchan and everything else crashed over you like a wave.
ryujin grabbed your trembling hands, her grip firm but not forceful. “count with me,” she said, her voice low and steady. “one… two…three…”
the breaths came in short, rapid bursts, your body fighting against you as the world narrowed down to the sound of ryujin’s counting and beomgyu and yeji’s soft reassurances.
slowly, the edges of your vision began to clear, and the tightness in your chest eased just enough for you to take a deeper breath.
“that’s it,” beomgyu said, his voice filled with relief. “you’re doing great, y/n. keep going.”
it took a few more minutes, but eventually, the panic subsided. your breaths came slower, deeper, though your chest still ached from the effort.
“you scared the hell out of us,” ryujin said softly, her hands still holding yours.
“sorry,” you managed to whisper, your voice hoarse.
“don’t apologise,” yeji said firmly. “just��god, y/n. you’ve been holding everything in for so long. you haven’t had one of those in awhile.”
the truth was, you weren’t okay. you hadn’t been for a long time, and today had pushed you past your breaking point.
“we’re taking you home,” beomgyu decided, standing up and offering you his hand. “no arguments.”
“what about your other lectures?” you asked, though the question came out half-heartedly. “i can go home by myself, i’ve gone to all of mine.”
“it can wait,” ryujin reassured, helping you to your feet. “you need to rest.”
as the three of them guided you away from the stairs, your eyes flickered back to the gazebo. she was still there, her laugh carrying faintly on the breeze as sungchan said something that made her smile.
she didn’t even notice — or at least, pretended not to.
it hurt, but for the first time, you let yourself turn away. maybe you didn’t know how to move on yet, but you knew you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself.
one step at a time, you’d figure it out eventually.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the past few days had been a blur of quiet determination. for once, you focused on your lectures, actually paying attention and, to your own surprise, getting the answers right. the professors had started to notice the shift, exchanging glances whenever you raised your hand or turned in a completed assignment.
even your friends had been treading lightly around you, unsure of what to make of the sudden change.
your skateboard hadn’t seen the light of day in a week, and your fractured rib was a constant, painful reminder to take things slow. the ache kept you grounded, pulling you out of your thoughts whenever they strayed too far toward the past — or toward her.
you told yourself you were doing better. and maybe you were.
but then came criminal law and your tutorial; the one you dreaded the most and gotten into trouble for. the memory of that confrontation still made you cringe, but you were determined to avoid any repeat incidents today.
when professor cho announced that you’d be pairing up for an activity, your stomach dropped. random pairings. your gut churning. there were over fifty people in this class. surely your odds weren’t that bad. surely the universe wouldn’t —
“l/n and kim,” she announced and you felt your heart sink into your stomach.
there was no point protesting. she didn’t entertain negotiations when it came to her pairing system.
you didn’t look at her as you packed up your things and moved to sit beside her. minjeong was already there, her posture as perfect and poised as ever, her notebook open and a pen twirling idly between her fingers.
she glanced at you as you sat down, but you kept your eyes on your notes.
“so,” she began, her voice low and cautious. “let’s —”
“yes, let’s just get this over with,” you interrupted, your tone curt as you flipped through your notes. “assuming we both know the answers, this shouldn’t take long.”
she blinked, taken aback. she wasn’t used to this. wasn’t used to you being cold, distant. it was disarming, and for a moment, she didn’t know how to respond.
“how’s your rib?” she asked after a minute of silence, her voice quieter.
“fine,” you said shortly, not looking up and you rammed through your lecture notes.
she frowned, her eyes flickering to your hands. your fingers were trembling slightly, just enough to be noticeable if someone was paying attention.
she was paying attention.
“are you sure —“
“can we focus on the activity, please?” you cut her off, your tone sharper now. “i don’t want to waste time.”
the task was straightforward: analyse the implications of marbury v. madison on the separation of powers and judicial authority. a list of guiding questions were already provided.
her jaw tightened, but she didn’t push further. the two of you worked through the questions in near silence, your answers quick and precise, leaving no room for small talk. every time she tried to make a comment or ask something unrelated, you shut her down with a clipped response.
“okay, yeah, how did chief justice marshall justify the court’s authority to strike down laws?” minjeong asked, her tone professional, detached.
“his argument was that it was inherent in the role of the judiciary to interpret the constitution,” you replied flatly, not meeting her eyes. “and that any law conflicting with the constitution was void.”
she nodded, writing down your response. her attempt at making small comments, asking for your opinion on certain nuances of the case were shut down with brief, matter-of-fact answers.
aeri, sitting a few seats away, was clearly enjoying the show. she leaned back in her chair, smirking as she whispered something to jimin, who chuckled quietly.
minjeong cleared her throat, watching you write her answers down. “any plans for the weekend?”
you stopped writing, eyebrows furrowed as you looked up at her. “seriously?”
when you brushed off another one of her attempts at conversation, aeri let out a low laugh that carried just enough for you both to hear. “looks like someone’s getting a taste of their own medicine.”
minjeong shot her a glare but didn’t say anything. she turned back to you, watching as you scribbled the last answer onto your notes with an almost mechanical efficiency.
“we’re done,” you said flatly, closing your notebook. you didn’t even look at her as you packed up your things, already half-turned away.
“wait,” minjeong said, her voice firmer this time.
you paused, your jaw clenching as you slowly turned back to face her. “what now?”
“what’s your problem?” she asked, her brows furrowed in frustration. “why are you acting like this?”
you stared at her, disbelief flashing across your face. “why do you care?”
“i don’t,” she said quickly, though the slight waver in her voice betrayed her. “i just think we should be civil. we have to share classes, and —”
“civil?” you repeated, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. “you want to be civil? fine. here’s me being civil: i don’t want anything to do with you. so why don’t you go bother your boyfriend instead?”
her eyes widened, stunned into silence for a moment. “boyfriend?”
“sungchan,” you said, spitting his name like it was poison. “you know, the guy who’s been practically glued to your side?”
her mouth opened, but no words came out. she didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to explain that sungchan wasn’t anything to her, that she didn’t even like him like that.
yet, the way you were looking at her — hurt and angry and tired — made her chest ache in a way she shouldn’t ignore.
“just leave me alone, minjeong,” you said, your voice quieter now but no less firm. “you’ve already made it clear how little i mean to you.”
and with that, you turned and walked away, leaving her sitting there, her thoughts a tangled mess of regret and confusion.
aeri, who’d been watching the whole exchange, let out a low whistle. “damn, winter. you really fucked this one up.”
she didn’t respond. she just sat there, staring at the spot where you’d been, her hands clenched into fists as she tried to make sense of the hollow feeling in her chest.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the sheer audacity of minjeong to ask you what was wrong after everything. it wasn’t just the question itself; it was the nerve of her, acting as if she cared when she clearly didn’t.
you couldn’t shake the anger. no matter how many hours passed, no matter how much you tried to focus on anything else, it kept bubbling up, simmering just beneath the surface.
“can you believe her?” you said, gesturing wildly as ryujin, yeji and beomgyu listened, clearly trying not to laugh. “what’s your problem? she has the nerve to ask me that, like she doesn’t know exactly what my problem is!”
“to be fair,” ryujin sighed, leaning back on her elbows. “you didn’t exactly give her much to work with.”
“yeah, well, she didn’t deserve anything from me,” you shot back, crossing your arms. “if she wanted me to talk, maybe she should’ve thought about that before…ugh, before being her stupid idiot self.”
beomgyu snorted. “solid argument, y/n. very lawyer-like.”
you rolled your eyes, but it only made you more animated. “and the worst part? she keeps pretending like she wants to be civil. civil! like we’re strangers passing in the hall. how does she expect me to just…just—” you waved your hands in frustration, “pretend nothing ever happened?”
“you’re really letting this eat at you,” yeji snorted, glancing toward the gazebo. “but hey, at least sungchan isn’t around today. small mercies, right?”
you stopped for a second at her words, if you’d had to see him sitting there next to minjeong again, smiling like he’d already won, you might have actually lost your sanity.
“yeah,” you muttered. “thank god for that.”
“so,” beomgyu said, smirking, “when are we moving on to the part where you stop caring?”
“don’t hold your breath,” ryujin quipped, earning a laugh from yeji.
you were mid-rant again, mocking minjeong’s indifferent expression and her painfully polite tone, when someone tapped your shoulder lightly.
startled, you turned around, expecting one of your friends, or worse, another professor.
instead, it was danielle marsh — one of the girls who shamefully, on your part, tutored you occasionally.
“hey,” she said softly, her warm smile immediately catching you off guard. she was carrying a tray with coffee cups and a few neatly wrapped sandwiches.
“danielle?” you said, blinking in surprise. she was a year below you, someone you didn’t know very well aside from occasional nods in the hall. “uh, hi?”
“i, um, saw you hurt your rib the other day,” she stammered, holding out the sandwiches for you. “so, minji and i made this for you this morning. figured you might need it.”
for a second, you just stared at her, completely thrown. “you made this for me?”
“yeah,” she said, looking a little shy now. “well, for all of you, really.” she glanced at your friends, smiling. “thought you could all use a pick-me-up.”
your friends didn’t hesitate to take the offered sandwiches and coffee, immediately diving into grateful thank-yous.
“seriously, danielle,” you said, standing up and pulling her into a gentle hug, careful not to press on your rib. “you didn’t have to do this.”
“it’s nothing,” she laughed softly as she hugged you back. “i just hope you feel better soon, yeah?”
“thanks,” you said, pulling away and meeting her kind eyes. “really, thank you. this means a lot.”
she waved it off with a bright smile. “anytime,” and with that, she walked off, leaving you and your friends with her thoughtful gesture.
the moment she was out of earshot, your friends pounced.
“well,” ryujin drawled, raising an eyebrow. “that was adorable.”
“and unexpected,” yeji added, already unwrapping her sandwich. “she made this for you? i mean, for all of us, sure, but for you?”
“you’re getting girls faster than we thought,” beomgyu teased, grinning. “maybe danielle’s your new start? or minji?”
you groaned, but their teasing was infectious, and for the first time in days, you found yourself laughing. “fuck off you all.”
“just saying,” ryujin shot back, smirking. “if this is what moving on looks like, i’m here for it.”
meanwhile, from the gazebo, minjeong watched the entire interaction. she’d seen danielle approach you, watched as she handed you coffee and sandwiches, her smile soft and genuine. she saw the way you hugged her, your expression lighter than it had been all week.
she hated how it made her feel.
yizhuo, sitting beside her, noticed immediately. “jealous?” she asked, her tone teasing.
“no,” minjeong denied, her voice sharper than she intended.
“uh-huh,” the younger girl smirked. “sure you’re not.”
she didn’t want to admit it — not even to herself, but the gnawing feeling in her chest was unmistakable.
it was jealousy, plain and simple. and it had started the moment she saw danielle hand you those coffees and sandwiches, her smile bright and genuine as she looked at you like you were the only person in the world.
it wasn’t fair. you weren’t supposed to move on so quickly. not when minjeong had spent months convincing herself she didn’t care anymore, that you were just a chapter of her life she’d already closed. but watching someone else care for you made her stomach twist in ways she didn’t like.
“so,” jimin began, her tone casual but laced with curiosity as she leaned against the gazebo railing. “danielle, huh?”
minjeong stiffened. “what about her?”
“oh, nothing,” she laughed, clearly enjoying herself. “just that she’s kind of adorable. and from what i’ve heard, she’s, like, the nicest person ever. super smart, super talented. makes sense she’d go for y/n, honestly.”
“she is not going for y/n,” minjeong snapped.
aeri raised her eyebrows. “hmm, interesting reaction.”
“oh, please,” yizhuo chuckled as she looked up from her phone. “you’re jealous, aren’t you?”
“i’m not jealous,” she insisted, but her voice lacked conviction.
aeri leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as her smile faded slightly. “minjeong, if you’re just going to play with y/n’s feelings, leave her alone. seriously. she’s trying to move on and you need to let her.”
“i’m not playing with her feelings,” she protested, though the guilt was already clawing at her.
jimin scoffed, crossing her arms. “really? because the way you dumped her in front of everyone was pretty brutal. honestly, you’re lucky she didn’t punch you in the face.”
“she didn’t because she’s too nice for her own good,” yizhuo chimed in, her smirk widening. “but honestly, if she did, i’d have cheered her on — we liked y/n.”
minjeong clenched her jaw, her gaze dropping to the table. she didn’t need the reminder of how badly she’d handled things. she knew she’d been cruel and pushed you away in the worst possible way, all because she was scared.
“look,” jimin softened her tone. “you’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling, but don’t mess with y/n. she doesn’t deserve that — she chased you for a long time.”
before she could even respond, a loud, overly cheerful voice interrupted them.
“minjeong!”
she turned to see sungchan bounding toward them, a bouquet of brightly coloured flowers in hand.
her friends groaned in unison and jimin buried her face in her hands. “fuck’s sake, can you get rid of that cretin already? we let him sit here, once. and nothing more.”
“what now?” aeri muttered, glaring at the boy as he stopped in front of them, his grin blinding.
“i brought you these,” he said, holding out the flowers with a flourish. “thought they might brighten your day.”
minjeong blinked, completely caught off guard. “uh…”
“sungchan,” jimin interrupted, her voice dripping with annoyance, “we’re kind of in the middle of something. can you not?”
“yeah,” aeri added, ushering for him to leave. “serious conversation happening here. come back later. or maybe never.”
he frowned, clearly disappointed, but he turned to minjeong anyway. “wait, so…can i still come over tonight?”
right on time as you walked past the gazebo, your bag slung over your shoulder, steps faltering for a split second, your head turning just enough to catch sight of the flowers in sungchan’s hand and the hopeful look on his face.
your expression darkened, your brows furrowing as you looked away quickly and kept walking. but she saw it — the flash of hurt that crossed your face, so brief she might have missed it if she hadn’t been watching you so closely.
her chest tightened, guilt mixing with panic. without thinking, she stood up abruptly, ignoring her friends’ surprised looks.
“wait,” she called after you, her voice louder than she intended. “y/n!”
she caught up to you in a few quick strides, falling into step beside you as you kept walking.
then, you stopped abruptly, refusing to face her. “what do you want?” you asked, your tone flat and cold.
“i just…” she hesitated, struggling to find the right words as she turned towards you. “it’s not what it looked like.”
your expression was a mixture of anger and exhaustion, your eyes narrowing slightly. “what are you talking about?”
“sungchan,” she said quickly. “he’s not — i didn’t…he’s not coming over tonight. or any night. he’s not my boyfriend.”
“why do you think i care?” your voice cut through the air like a blade.
minjeong flinched, her chest tightening. she wanted to explain, to say something that would make this easier, but nothing came out. she hated the way your walls were so firmly in place now, blocking her out completely.
“you don’t have to explain yourself to me, minjeong,” you said, your voice softer now but no less firm. “we’re nothing to each other anymore. remember?”
you didn’t wait for her to respond. you turned and walked away, leaving her standing there, her heart pounding and her thoughts a tangled mess of longing.
from the gazebo, jimin let out a low sigh, shaking her head as she watched the scene unfold. “she’s really not handling this well, is she?”
“nope,” aeri sighed. “but it’s fun to watch.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
a few days later, you were back in routine; or at least, you were trying to be. the faint ache in your ribs had dulled to something manageable and you’d thrown yourself into lectures and tutorials with a determination that surprised even you.
your professors had started making comments, subtle acknowledgments of your sudden focus and improvement but none of it felt particularly satisfying.
then the rumour started.
“did you hear?” ryujin’s voice broke through the usual buzz of the courtyard as she dropped her bag on the stairs next to you. yeji and beomgyu followed close behind, their expressions a mix of concern and hesitation.
“hear what?” you asked, not looking up from your notebook. you were halfway through an analysis of some case law, trying to keep your mind occupied.
“about minjeong,” ryujin said, her tone careful, like she was stepping on eggshells. “we want you to hear it from us.”
your hand froze mid-sentence. “what about her?”
“uh…” yeji exchanged a glance with beomgyu, who grimaced and shoved his hands in his pockets. “apparently, she said yes to sungchan.”
the pen slipped from your fingers, clattering onto the page. for a moment, you just stared at it, your mind blank. then you picked it up and calmly closed your notebook.
“oh,” you said, your voice eerily even. “good for her.”
ryujin raised an eyebrow. “you okay?”
“yep,” you stuffed your notebook into your bag and stood up, slinging it over your shoulder. “why wouldn’t i be?”
“oh, i don’t know,” beomgyu said, crossing his arms. “maybe because the girl you’ve been in love with for, like, two years just said yes to a guy who literally makes his hair gel do all the work.”
“beomgyu,” yeji hissed, elbowing him in the side.
“what? i’m just saying,” he muttered, but he backed off when ryujin shot him a warning look.
“it’s okay to feel defeated, you know,” ryujin said, her voice gentler now. “angry, even. god knows you tried your best to win her back.”
you sighed, pressing your fingers to your temples. “look, i’m fine. it’s whatever. she can date whoever she wants. i don’t care.”
“okay,” they were clearly unconvinced.
but you didn’t respond. instead, you turned and walked away, leaving your friends watching after you with varying degrees of concern. you didn’t go to your classes that day.
instead, you found yourself in the library, tucked away in a quiet corner with a stack of books and your notes spread out in front of you. studying was easier than thinking about stupid rumours.
meanwhile, across campus, minjeong was sitting with her friends at the gazebo when yizhuo casually dropped the bomb.
“so, when were you going to tell us?” she asked, leaning back in her chair with a sly grin.
“tell you what now?” minjeong asked, frowning.
“about you and sungchan,” she answered, raising an eyebrow. “i heard you said yes to being his girlfriend.”
she froze in her spot, quick to turn her head. “what now?”
“oh, come on,” aeri rolled her eyes. “everyone’s talking about it. apparently, sungchan told some of his friends and now it’s all over campus.”
“that’s not true, i’ll fucking punch him,” she said quickly, her voice rising slightly. “i didn’t say yes to him. i didn’t even —” she groaned, burying her face in her hands. “this is getting out of hand.”
jimin raised an eyebrow as she crossed her legs, reapplying her lipstick. “so you’re not dating him?”
“no!” minjeong exasperated. “of course not.”
“well, you might want to clear that up,” yizhuo giggled. “because your rumoured boyfriend is basking in the glory right now.”
“ugh,” she muttered, standing up abruptly. “this is so stupid.”
“where are you going?” aeri called after her.
“to fix this,” minjeong yelled over her shoulder, already walking away.
as she made her way across campus, her thoughts weren’t on sungchan or the rumour. they were on you. if the rumour had reached her, it had definitely reached you.
and she didn’t like the idea of you believing it for even a second.
it didn’t take long to find you. the library was one of the few places on campus where you could completely disappear these days, and sure enough, there you were, hunched over a pile of books in a quiet corner.
minjeong hesitated for a moment, watching you from a distance. your head was bent over your notes, your brows furrowed in concentration, but even from here, she could see the tension in your shoulders, the way your pen moved too quickly, like you were trying to outrun your thoughts.
“y/n,” she said softly as she approached.
you didn’t look up. “what do you want, minjeong?”
“i need to talk to you,” she muttered, pulling out the chair across from you and sitting down before you could protest.
“i’m busy,” your voice cold as you flipped a page in your notebook.
“it’s about what’s being said about me,” she began quickly, leaning forward. “the one about sungchan.”
that made you pause. your pen hovered over the page, but you didn’t look at her. “what about it?”
“it’s not true,” she tried to reassure you. “i didn’t say yes to him — i barely fucking know him.”
you finally looked up, your eyes meeting hers with a mixture of disbelief and frustration. “why are you telling me this?”
“because i don’t want you to think —” she stopped, her words catching in her throat. “i don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“minjeong,” you sighed, your tone tired, “you broke up with me. in front of everyone. you don’t owe me explanations about your love life.”
“i know,” she mumbled. “but i wanted to tell you anyway.”
you stared at her for a moment, your expression unreadable, before shaking your head and turning back to your notes. “thanks for the clarification. now, if you’ll excuse me, i have actual work to do.”
“okay.”
you frowned, shaking your head. “okay?”
minjeong hesitated, her chest tightening as she watched you retreat further behind your wall, but she didn’t know what else to say.
so she stood up, her hands clenched at her sides and walked away, leaving you alone in the quiet hum of the library.
she had made it halfway back to the gazebo when her steps faltered. the way she replayed your cold, clipped tone in her head bothered her.
she told herself to keep walking, to let it go. you clearly wanted nothing to do with her and it was too late for her to fix anything, but the thought of leaving things like this didn’t sit right with her.
“fuck it,” minjeong muttered under her breath, turning on her heel. she was already moving before she could second-guess herself.
the library was quieter than before when she slipped back inside. she spotted you almost immediately, still in the same spot, hunched over your notebook with a pen in hand. the tension in your posture hadn’t eased, and your lips were pressed into a thin line as you stared down at the pages in front of you.
she didn’t think. she walked straight to your table, stopping just short of your line of sight. her hands balled into fists at her sides, but her voice was calm when she spoke.
“what are you studying for?”
you froze for a moment before lifting your head slowly, your eyes narrowing as they met hers. “why are you back?”
“i’m curious,” she said, her voice steady as she gestured to the pile of books and notes on your desk. “what are you working on?”
you stared at her for a moment longer, clearly debating whether or not to engage. finally, with a sigh, you relented. “contracts,” you muttered, flipping through a set of messy notes. “specifically offer and acceptance. and it doesn’t make sense. i don’t get it.”
her lips quirked upward, just slightly, and before you could protest, she pulled out the chair across from you and sat down.
“show me what you’ve got,” she said, leaning forward and pulling one of your books toward her.
“minjeong, don’t,” you warned, but there wasn’t much heat in your voice. “it’s embarrassing enough that danielle, who’s a year below me, had to explain half of this stuff to me the other day. i don’t need my ex-girlfriend doing the same.”
“so?” she hummed, her voice calm in that matter-of-fact tone of hers. “i know you, she doesn’t.”
her words caught you off guard, leaving you momentarily speechless. before you could form a rebuttal, she was already flipping through your notes, scanning the pages with a practiced eye.
“okay,” she began, her tone shifting into something softer, more focused. “let’s start with offer and acceptance. it’s the foundation of any valid contract, right?”
you nodded hesitantly.
“an offer is essentially a promise or commitment to do something, or refrain from doing something that’s communicated to another party,” she explained. “acceptance, on the other hand, is the agreement to the terms of that offer. it has to be clear and communicated back to the person who made the offer.”
you watched as she grabbed a blank sheet of paper and began sketching out a quick diagram, breaking the concept into manageable chunks. “think of it like this: aeri makes an offer to jimin. for it to become a binding contract, jimin has to accept it. if she doesn’t, there’s no agreement.”
“as if jimin would ever accept anything, but go on,” you frowned, glancing at your notes. “what about when an acceptance comes with conditions? like, if jimin says ‘yes, but only if you deliver by friday.’ doesn’t that count as acceptance?”
“good question,” minjeong said, nodding. “that’s actually a counteroffer, not acceptance. a counteroffer effectively rejects the original offer and replaces it with a new one. the original offer is no longer valid unless aeri agrees to the new terms.”
you blinked, processing her words. for the first time all day, the tangled mess of legal jargon in your head started to untangle itself.
“okay, but what about silence?” you asked, leaning forward slightly despite yourself. “like, if aeri threatens jimin with, ‘if you don’t respond, i’ll take that as acceptance.’ does that count?”
“generally, no,” she explained, almost laughing at your example. “silence isn’t considered acceptance. there are exceptions, though, like if there’s a prior relationship between the parties where silence has been treated as acceptance before but that’s pretty rare.”
you let out a low sigh, leaning back in your chair. “this is so annoying.”
“you’re doing fine,” she smiled, her tone reassuring as she slid the diagram she’d drawn across the table. “you’re overthinking it. contracts are just logic in disguise.”
“logic,” you repeated, rolling your eyes. “right. it’s totally logical to write 50 pages on whether saying ‘maybe’ counts as acceptance.”
minjeong chuckled softly and the sound caught you off guard. it was the first time in a long while that she didn’t sound distant or guarded.
“okay, fair,” she kept the smile on her face. “but you’re getting there. it’s not as bad as you think.”
you glanced down at the diagram she’d drawn, the pieces clicking into place in your mind. reluctantly, you muttered, “thanks.”
“anytime,” she answered, her voice soft.
the two of you sat in silence for a moment, the tension between you easing just slightly. but then you shook your head, a faint scowl tugging at your lips. “still doesn’t change the fact that this is humiliating.”
“why?” she asked, tilting her head.
“because you’re my ex,” you said bluntly. “this is next-level embarrassing.”
minjeong shrugged, her expression calm. “i don’t see why it’s a big deal. i’ve seen worst. plus, we’ve been through this before.”
her words lingered in the air, heavier than you expected. for a moment, you didn’t know how to respond, so you said nothing.
instead, you turned your attention back to the notes in front of you, your chest tightening with something you didn’t want to name.
she, however, didn’t press further. she stayed, patiently guiding you through the material until the frustration in your eyes gave way to understanding.
the library was much quieter now, with most of the tables empty and the hum of whispers and shuffling papers reduced to a faint background noise. as you packed up your things, minjeong stood by the door, waiting silently. the awkwardness between you had lessened, but it wasn’t entirely gone.
after all, she was still minjeong; cold, poised, and impossible to read — and you were still you, guarded and hesitant.
you slung your bag over your shoulder as you approached her. “thanks for the help,”
“you’re welcome,” she replied, her tone equally quiet.
the two of you stepped out into the hall together, the silence between you not entirely uncomfortable, but not warm either.
and then, as if the universe had decided to throw yet another curveball your way, you spotted danielle walking toward you, her usual bright smile lighting up her face.
“y/n!” she called out, waving as she quickened her pace.
you stopped, your heart sinking slightly and it was not out of dread, but because you could already feel the tension radiating off minjeong beside you.
still, you smiled at danielle, grateful for her kindness. “hey, what’s up?”
“oh, nothing much,” she said, adjusting the strap of her backpack. “just wanted to see if you’re free after school. thought we could have another study session. you know, go over those case studies from contracts? i think i’ve got some good notes that might help.”
for a moment, your mind flickered back to the days when minjeong used to tutor you. the late nights in quiet study rooms, the way her calm explanations had made everything click.
it was hard not to draw parallels, but you quickly pushed the thought aside.
“yeah, sure,” you said with a nod. “that sounds good.”
danielle beamed and then her eyes shifted to minjeong, who had been standing silently beside you the entire time. her smile faltered slightly as she tilted her head. “oh, hi. i don’t think we’ve met.”
you hesitated for a split second before gesturing between them. “danielle, this is minjeong. minjeong, danielle.”
“hi!” danielle said brightly, extending a hand. “nice to meet you.”
she glanced at her hand briefly before giving it a polite shake, her expression cool and detached. “likewise.”
danielle didn’t seem fazed by her tone, her smile unwavering. “so, are you two friends?”
you opened your mouth to answer, but minjeong spoke first. “we’re classmates.”
her voice was so flat, so devoid of emotion, that it left no room for interpretation. danielle nodded, glancing at you as if to say, well, that was awkward.
“anyway,” she continued, turning back to you, “i’ll text you the details for later, okay?”
“sounds good,” you said, offering her a small smile. “thanks, danielle.”
“no problem,” she grinned. “see you later!”
with that, she waved and walked off, leaving you alone with minjeong once again. the silence that followed was heavier than before and when you turned to look at her, her expression was unreadable.
“what?” you asked, frowning slightly.
she didn’t respond immediately. her eyes lingered on the spot where danielle had been, her thoughts racing. she thought about the way the other girl had smiled at you, her kindness so effortless and genuine.
she thought about the way you’d smiled back, softer than you ever smiled at her these days.
and then, minjeong thought about herself; her coldness, her inability to open up, the walls she’d built so high that even you, someone who had once been so close, had struggled to climb them.
she thought about the way she’d hurt you, the way she pushed you away and how she kept coming back, unable to let go but unwilling to fully stay.
you deserve better.
the realisation hit her with a clarity she couldn’t ignore. you deserved someone who could match your warmth and meet you halfway without hesitation.
someone who didn’t leave you questioning your worth or your place in their life.
and minjeong knew, deep down, that she wasn’t that person.
“nothing,” she said finally, her voice quiet. “i’ll see you around, y/n.”
before you could respond, she turned and walked away, her steps brisk and purposeful.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the moment minjeong walked away, you brushed off the strange interaction as just another one of her weird moods, but the more you thought about it, the more it stuck in your head.
the way she’d been so quiet, her gaze distant, it was strange, even for her.
as you made your way to your next class, you couldn’t help but vent to yeji, who listened intently as she walked beside you.
“it was so weird,” you tried to explain. “she just stood there while danielle was talking to me. like, awkwardly silent the whole time. and then she walked away without saying anything, like — what was that?”
yeji snorted. “classic minjeong,” she said, rolling her eyes. “probably trying to act mysterious. you know, her usual icy queen routine — all the reason why her nickname’s winter.”
“i don’t get it, though,” you said, frowning. “she came back into the library just to help me with contracts and then she acted all…weird when danielle showed up.”
“maybe she’s jealous,” she suggested with a smirk.
“jealous?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow. “of what?”
“danielle; she sees you getting close to someone else and suddenly remembers she doesn’t like sharing.”
“that’s ridiculous,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “minjeong doesn’t care about me like that anymore. she made that pretty clear when she dumped me in front of everyone.”
yeji shrugged. “maybe. or maybe she’s just realising what she lost.”
the thought lingered in the back of your mind as you reached your next class: professor diaz’s administrative lecture.
the room was already filling up with students when you walked in and minjeong was seated near the middle, often her usual spot. you hesitated for a split second when your eyes met hers, but you quickly looked away and took a seat beside yeji in the back row.
professor diaz walked in a moment later, his sharp gaze sweeping over the room as he placed his notes on the desk.
“good afternoon, everyone,” he started, tone brisk as always. “today, we’re starting a project that will require collaboration, critical thinking and presentation skills. it’s an activity that requires two members per team.”
you glanced at yeji, who gave you a small, sympathetic smile. you weren’t a fan of group projects, but you could survive it.
hopefully.
“partners have already been assigned,” he continued, flipping through a list of names. “i paired you based on complementary skills and previous performance. some of you might not like it, but tough luck.”
again, you slouched slightly in your seat, praying to every higher power you could think of that you wouldn’t end up with —
“y/n l/n and kim minjeong.”
you groaned quietly, earning a small laugh from the girl beside you. “tough break,” she whispered, smirking.
you’ve got to be fucking kidding.
you reluctantly made your way to the middle of the room, where minjeong was sitting, her expression unreadable as always. she didn’t look surprised to see you, which only annoyed you more.
“of course,” you muttered as you dropped into the seat beside her. “because who else would i get stuck with other than you?”
“nice to see you too,” she said dryly, flipping open her notebook.
professor diaz continued explaining the project from the front of the room. “we’re diving into the practical application of judicial review in administrative law, specifically focusing on procedural fairness and its two pillars: the right to a fair hearing and the rule against bias.”
he paced the front of the room, hands clasped behind his back. “your task is to analyse a hypothetical case, identify the grounds for judicial review and argue whether the administrative decision should be upheld or quashed; this project will span the next week or two, depending on how i feel. the final deliverable will include a written report and a joint presentation to the class.”
you collectively groaned with everyone else, pulling out your notes as you glanced at minjeong. “so,” you said flatly, “what case should we pick?”
“something straightforward,” she replied, her tone calm. “we don’t have time to overcomplicate this.”
“righto,” you said, opening your laptop. “let’s look at some recent cases.”
the two of you worked in tense silence for a few minutes, scrolling through legal databases and jotting down notes. the tension was palpable, hanging heavy between you. you could feel her gaze on you every now and then and it made your skin crawl.
“why do you think professor cho paired us?” you asked finally, breaking the silence.
“probably because your grades improved when i was tutoring you,” minjeong said matter-of-factly.
you glared at her, but she didn’t flinch. “well, that’s embarrassing.”
“why?” she asked, tilting her head slightly. “it’s the truth.”
her words caught you off guard, leaving you momentarily speechless. you quickly shook it off, refocusing on the project. “whatever. let’s just get this over with.”
minjeong didn’t respond, but she watched you carefully, her expression unreadable. you looked so beautiful.
as much as she tried to focus on the project, her mind kept drifting to one thought: you deserve better than this. better than me.
she didn’t say it. instead, she turned her attention back to the case in front of her, determined to at least help you succeed in this, even if it meant spending the next few days side by side.
the library became your designated meeting spot for the project, mostly because it was neutral ground. neither of you wanted to be in each other’s spaces and the library was safe and impersonal.
together, you worked in a tense but oddly productive silence during your free time, with occasional moments of begrudging cooperation when one of you needed clarification or feedback.
the first few sessions were uneventful, though the air between you was thick with unspoken words. minjeong would occasionally glance at you when she thought you weren’t looking, her gaze lingering just long enough for you to notice, but she never said anything about it.
it was during your third meeting that everything went sideways.
you were both seated at a table in one of the quieter corners of the library, surrounded by books and notes as you debated how to frame your analysis of the case.
minjeong had just finished explaining her point when a loud, overly enthusiastic voice shattered the peace.
“minjeong!”
you looked up, already cringing as sungchan approached your table, his usual grin plastered across his face. he was carrying a coffee cup in one hand and what looked like a wrapped pastry in the other.
“what are you doing here?” she asked, her tone cool but tinged with annoyance.
“what does it look like?” he said, pulling up a chair uninvited and plopping down beside her. “i saw my favourite girl through the window and thought i’d bring you coffee. and a croissant. your favourite, right?”
she sighed, her eyes briefly flickering to you before landing back on his. “i’m busy.”
“you’ve got to eat, right? and who’s this?” he glanced at you, his eyes narrowing slightly. “oh…y/n, right?”
you raised an eyebrow. “yeah, we’re working on a project if you’ve got eyes.”
sungchan’s gaze darted between you and minjeong, his grin faltering just a little. “huh, weird pair. but then again…” he trailed off, his smirk returning. “you two used to date, didn’t you?”
her jaw tightened, but she didn’t say anything. you, on the other hand, just rolled your eyes. “what’s your point?”
“nothing,” he replied, leaning back in his chair as he crossed his arms. “just funny how things work out, isn’t it? i mean, you’re stuck working with her, and she —”
“sungchan,” minjeong interrupted, her voice sharp. “stop.”
he blinked, clearly caught off guard by her tone. then he laughed, shaking his head. “fine, fine. i’ll stop. but, you know, it’s interesting —”
“sungchan,” she repeated, firmer this. “leave. we’re busy.”
he didn’t leave. instead, he looked at her, then at you and back again. and then, with a smug grin, he said, “wait minjeong, i thought you said you never liked her.”
the words hung in the air like a bomb waiting to explode. your stomach twisted, heart dropping into your chest as you stared at minjeong. she froze, her eyes widening slightly as she opened her mouth to respond.
“what the hell is that supposed to mean?” you spoke for her, your voice low but sharp as you glared at sungchan.
“i’m just saying,” sungchan replied with a shrug, clearly oblivious to the tension he’d just created. “she told me she never really liked you. thought you’d have figured that out by now. why are you still sticking around?”
“sungchan,” minjeong snapped, her voice colder than ice now. “leave. now — before i knock your fucking teeth out of you.”
he finally seemed to realise he’d crossed a line, his grin faltering as he stood up. “jeez, okay. no need to bite my head off,” he set the coffee and croissant down on the table, muttering, “enjoy your project,” before walking off.
the silence that followed was deafening.
“did you really say that?” you asked quietly, your voice trembling just enough to betray how much it hurt.
she looked at you, her expression panicked for a split second before she forced herself to remain calm. “no,” she said firmly. “he’s lying. why would i do that?”
“so he just made that up?” you shot back, your tone harsher now. “out of nowhere?”
“yes,” she said, her voice steady but strained. “i never said that. i —” she hesitated, her gaze dropping to the table. “i wouldn’t say that about you, ever.”
you scoffed, leaning back in your chair. “great, so now i’m supposed to believe that, what? he’s just running around making up lies about you?”
“i don’t know,” she mumbled, her voice quieter now. “but i didn’t say it. you have to believe me.”
you stared at her for a long moment, searching her face for any hint of insincerity but she looked genuinely upset, her usual mask of indifference cracking just enough for you to see the guilt and frustration beneath it.
“whatever,” you muttered finally, looking away. “let’s just finish this stupid project.”
minjeong opened her mouth to respond, but then she closed it again, her shoulders slumping slightly. for the rest of the session, neither of you spoke unless it was directly about the project.
the air between you was heavier than ever, weighed down by everything that had been said — and left unsaid.
finally, you couldn’t take it anymore. you slammed your pen down on the table, the sharp sound cutting through the library’s quiet hum.
“do you think this is funny?” you snapped, your voice low but furious as you glared at her. “is this all just some game to you?”
she looked up, startled by your sudden outburst. “what are you talking about?”
“you,” you hissed, your chest heaving as your emotions boiled over. “you dump me in front of everyone, act like i don’t exist for months and now you’re back in my life, acting like you care? and on top of that, sungchan shows up and says you never liked me? are you fucking kidding me, minjeong?”
for once, she looked genuinely at a loss, her usual composure completely shattered.
“do you even realise how humiliating this is for me?” you continued, your voice trembling with anger. “i have been trying to move on, to forget about you and every time i feel like i’m getting somewhere, you show up and remind me of how much of an idiot i am for still caring about you!”
“you’re not an idiot,” she said quickly, her voice soft but desperate. “y/n, i —”
“then why?” you demanded, leaning forward, your eyes burning into hers. “why did you break up with me like that? why do you keep showing up, acting like you care and then pulling shit like this?”
minjeong stared at you, her jaw tight, her eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite place. for a moment, you thought she wouldn’t answer. then, she exhaled shakily, running a hand through her hair.
“because i’m scared,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “i was scared then and i’m scared now.”
you blinked, thrown off by her sudden vulnerability. “scared of what?”
“of how much you mean to me,” she said, her gaze dropping to the table. “of how much you’ve always meant to me. y/n, when we were together, you…you saw right through me. you knew me better than anyone else ever has and it terrified me. because if you could do that, if you could get that close, then you could hurt me in ways no one else ever could.”
her voice cracked slightly, and she swallowed hard before continuing. “so i pushed you away. i thought if i ended it, if i made you hate me, then i could protect myself but all i did was hurt you, and i hate myself for that.”
you stared at her, your anger fading into something closer to disbelief. “you broke up with me in front of everyone.”
“i know,” she trembled. “i know and it was cruel and i’ll never forgive myself for it. but i didn’t mean it. i didn’t mean any of it. i thought if i made it loud, if i made it final, then i’d stop feeling the way i do about you. but it didn’t work.”
you shook your head, trying to process her words. “then why did you let sungchan say all that crap? why didn’t you stop him?”
“because i didn’t know how,” she admitted, her voice breaking. “i didn’t know how to fix this, how to tell you everything i’ve been feeling. i thought it was too late.”
“it is too late,” you said, your voice sharper than you intended. “you can’t just come back into my life and expect me to forgive you for everything. it doesn’t work like that.”
minjeong nodded, her expression crumpling slightly. “i know. i don’t expect you to forgive me. but i need you to know that i never stopped caring about you. not for a second.”
her words hung in the air, heavy and raw. you looked at her, at the way her usual calm had completely unraveled and you didn’t know what to say.
part of you wanted to scream at her, to tell her that her feelings didn’t matter anymore.
“i don’t know if i can do this,” you said finally, your voice quieter now but no less firm. “i don’t know if i can trust you again.”
“i understand,” she looked down, fidgeting with the hem of shirt. “but i’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that i mean it. i’ll wait as long as you need me to.”
you didn’t say anything — you didn’t need to for now. instead, you turned your attention back to your notes, your chest tight with a mixture of anger and sadness. the girl across from you stayed silent after that, giving you the space you needed, but you could feel her presence beside you, heavy and unrelenting.
she had said all the things you’d once wanted to hear — things you’d longed for when she left you shattered in the middle of that hallway.
“y/n,” minjeong’s voice was quiet, hesitant. “please say something.”
you didn’t look at her. “there’s nothing to say.”
“you don’t believe me,” she said softly, more a statement than a question.
“no,” you admitted, your tone clipped. “i don’t.”
the words hung between you like a final nail in the coffin. minjeong opened her mouth to respond, but you were already standing, gathering your things with deliberate precision.
“where are you going?” she asked, panic flickering in her voice.
“home,” you said shortly. “i need to think.”
“what about the project?” she asked, her voice rising slightly.
you hesitated for a fraction of a second, then put your bag over your shoulder. “figure it out.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
for the next few days, you avoided her like the plague. you skipped the library sessions, ignored her texts and avoided her in class. when professor diaz asked about your progress on the project, you lied, saying you were working on it separately.
ryujin cornered you in the courtyard one afternoon, her arms crossed and her brow furrowed.
“what’s going on with you?” she demanded. “you’ve been weird all week.”
“nothing,” you replied, looking away.
“bullshit,” she snapped. “this is about minjeong, isn’t it?”
you didn’t answer, but your silence was enough.
“y/n,” she sighed, her tone softening. “you can’t keep running from this. i know she screwed up, okay? we all know that. but you need to deal with it instead of shutting everyone out.”
“i’m not shutting everyone out,” you defended yourself.”
“you’ve been avoiding her, skipping the library and now you’re lying to the professor about the project,” she listed off. “sounds like shutting everyone out to me.”
“it’s none of your business,” you muttered, brushing past her.
“actually, it is,” a new voice chimed in. you turned to see beomgyu and yeji approaching, both looking equally concerned. “because now we have to deal with mopey minjeong asking about you.”
“she’s not —” you started, but beomgyu cut you off.
“oh, she is,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “she asked me yesterday if you’d said anything about her. looked like a kicked puppy when i told her no.”
“you’re being dramatic,” you muttered, but your resolve was weakening.
“he’s not,” yeji said firmly. “and honestly, y/n, it’s exhausting watching you both avoid each other when clearly there’s so much unresolved.”
“i’m done with her,” you admitted, though the words felt hollow even to you.
“are you?” ryujin challenged, her eyes narrowing. “because you don’t look done. you look hurt. and if you keep bottling this up, it’s only going to get worse.”
on the other side of campus, minjeong was facing her own intervention. her friends had dragged her to the gazebo, refusing to let her leave until they got answers.
“spill,” jimin demanded, leaning forward with her arms crossed. “what’s going on with you and y/n?”
“nothing,” minjeong muttered, staring at the ground.
“oh, please,” aeri rolled her eyes. “you’ve been moping around like someone stole your dog. what happened?”
minjeong sighed, running a hand through her hair. “i…told her how i felt.”
“and?” yizhuo prompted, raising an eyebrow.
“and she doesn’t believe me,” she admitted, her voice small.
jimin groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “well, can you blame her? you broke her heart in front of the entire university, minjeong, and when she chased you around, you ran faster.”
“and you’ve been cold and distant ever since,” aeri added. “what did you expect? that she’d just fall back into your arms the moment you said you cared?”
“i wasn’t expecting anything,” minjeong said defensively. “i just…i wanted her to know the truth.”
“okay, so you told her,” yizhuo shrugged. “now what?”
“she’s avoiding me,” minjeong responded, her voice cracking slightly. “she won’t answer my texts or show up for the project. i don’t know what to do.”
“maybe start by actually communicating,” jimin suggested dryly. “you know, instead of expecting her to read your mind.”
“and stop being so passive,” aeri chimed in. “if you want her to believe you, you need to show her. actions, not just words.”
“but what if it’s too late?” minjeong asked, her voice trembling. “what if she doesn’t want me anymore?”
jimin sighed, her expression softening. “then you’ll have to accept that. but at least you’ll know you tried.”
“i’m just going to drink my heart out.”
the sun was just beginning to set, casting a soft orange glow over the campus as you made your way toward the stairs that led home. the day had been long and all you wanted was to collapse into bed. as you reached the top of the stairs, you spotted jimin, aeri and yizhuo waiting for you like a trio of judgmental guardians.
“great,” you muttered under your breath, already preparing for whatever nonsense they were about to throw your way.
“y/n,” jimin said, stepping forward with a raised eyebrow, “we need to talk.”
“can’t it wait?” you asked, brushing past her, but aeri stepped in your way, blocking your path with her arms crossed.
“it’s about minjeong,” aeri said flatly, her piercing gaze locking on yours.
that stopped you in your tracks. you didn’t look at them, but your stomach twisted in knots. “what about her?”
yizhuo sighed dramatically, leaning against the stone railing. “she’s at joe’s juice joint. drinking.”
“on a tuesday night,” jimin added, mirroring aeri’s stance. “because word has it that a certain someone has been avoiding her.”
you scoffed. “i don’t care what she does.”
“she’s been there since this afternoon,” aeri said, raising an eyebrow. “she’s refusing to leave and we’ve had her guards attempt to pick her up.”
“because of you,” yizhuo chimed in, her voice unusually serious. “she thinks you’re done with her.”
you rolled your eyes, clutching the strap of your bag tighter. “she brought this on herself.”
“she did,” jimin agreed, stepping closer. “but she’s still hurting. and whether you want to admit it or not, you care about her.”
“why don’t you pick her up then?” you shot back, but your voice wavered slightly, betraying your frustration.
“because,” yizhuo shook her head. “it’s not us she’s been crying about. trust me, we’ve tried.”
that stung.
the three of them watched you expectantly, their expressions a mixture of smugness and concern.
finally, you let out a defeated sigh. “fine, i’ll go and talk to her.”
“thank you,” aeri smiled, stepping aside. “and while you’re at it, remind her that drowning her sorrows in alcohol isn’t a personality trait.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the bar was dimly lit, the scent of citrus and wood polish thick in the air. it wasn’t crowded, but the familiar hum of chatter and soft music filled the space. you scanned the room quickly, your heart sinking when you spotted her in the far corner.
minjeong sat slouched in her chair, one arm resting lazily on the table while the other clutched a half-empty glass of whiskey. her blazer hung off her shoulders, her usually neat blonde hair slightly disheveled.
she looked up as you approached, her eyes widening briefly before she looked away, taking a long sip from her drink.
“minjeong,” you called out, voice firm. “what are you doing here?”
she didn’t answer right away, swirling the liquid in her glass. “drinking.”
“on a tuesday night?” you pressed, sitting down across from her. “this isn’t like you.”
she snorted, the sound bitter. “maybe you don’t know me as well as you think.”
“cut the bullshit, minjeong,” you said sharply. “why are you here?”
she set her glass down with a thud, her lips trembling slightly. “because you won’t talk to me,” she said, her voice cracking. “because i miss you, y/n. i miss you so much and it hurts.”
her words hit you like a punch to the gut, but you refused to let your guard down. her usually cold demeanour was gone, replaced by something raw and vulnerable.
“you don’t get to say that,” you clenched your jaw. “you don’t get to sit here and cry about how much you miss me after what you did.”
she winced, her hands gripping the edge of the table. “i know, y/n. and i hate myself for it. i hate that i hurt you, that i pushed you away. but i didn’t know what else to do.”
“so you thought breaking my heart in front of everyone was the solution?” you snapped, your voice trembling. “you made me feel like i didn’t matter to you, minjeong. like i was nothing.”
“you were everything,” she said, her voice desperate. “that’s what scared me. i thought…if i ended it, i’d protect myself. but all i did was destroy the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“winter —” you started, but she cut you off, her eyes finally meeting yours.
“you have every reason to hate me,” she said, her voice breaking. “but i can’t stop thinking about you. i don’t want anyone else. i just want you, for the rest of my life, i’m certain i want you.”
her confession left you stunned, the sincerity in her voice breaking down the walls you’d so carefully built. you didn’t realise how much you’d needed to hear those words until now.
“you really hurt me,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. “i don’t know if i can trust you again.”
“let me earn it,” she said, her eyes pleading. “please, y/n. give me another chance. i’ll do whatever it takes.”
her words lingered in the air, and for a moment, you hesitated; part of you wanted to walk away and protect yourself from getting hurt again.
but you loved her.
“fine,” you said finally, your voice soft. “but you’re going to have to work for it. and right now, we’re getting you out of here.”
to your surprise, she didn’t hesitate. she grabbed her blazer, threw it over her shoulders and clung to your arm as you guided her out of the bar, her grip firm as if she was afraid you’d let go.
“you don’t have to do this,” she mumbled, her voice slurred. “you don’t owe me anything.”
“you’re right,” you said, guiding her through the door. “but someone has to make sure you don’t end up passed out on the sidewalk.”
she let out a weak laugh, her fingers tightening around your arm. “you’re too good to me.”
“don’t push it,” you muttered, but the corners of your lips twitched.
when you reached the car, she refused to let go of your hand. even as you opened the door for her, she tugged you closer, pressing soft, clumsy kisses to your knuckles.
“minjeong,” you said, your voice tinged with exasperation. “get in the car.”
“i don’t deserve you,” she murmured, her lips brushing against your skin. “but i’ll do whatever it takes to keep you this time.”
you sighed, your heart twisting as you gently pried her hands off yours and helped her into the passenger seat.
the ride to her mansion was cloaked in a heavy silence, save for the occasional sniffle from her. her head rested gently on your shoulder, her fingers entwined with yours.
the gesture felt intimate, almost too much for the charged air between you, but you didn’t pull away. you weren’t sure if it was to comfort her or yourself.
“i missed you,” she began, planting another gentle kiss on the back of your hand. “i wish i told you sooner.”
you hummed, nodding as you pulled up to the gates of her mansion. “i wish you did too.”
minjeong didn’t move. her gaze was fixed on your joined hands, her thumb absentmindedly tracing circles over your skin. she let out a shaky breath, her lips parting as if to speak but no words came.
“winter?” you prompted softly, your brows knitting together in concern.
she finally looked up at you, her eyes glossy and filled with something raw, vulnerable. “i don’t want to go inside,” she whispered, her voice trembling.
you tilted your head. “why not?”
“because…” she hesitated, her grip on your hand tightening slightly. “because i don’t want to be alone.”
her words hit you square in the chest, and for a moment, you didn’t know how to respond. her eyes searched yours and then, hesitantly, she leaned forward just slightly, her breath warm against your lips.
she stopped, hovering close, her needy voice barely audible. “can i kiss you? please?”
the question made your heart stutter. the vulnerability in her voice; you could see how much this moment mattered to her, how much she was holding herself back, waiting for your permission.
“minjeong,” you let out a shaky breath; unsure. “you’ve been drinking. you’re not sober and i don’t want to take advantage of you.”
she shook her head quickly, her fingers tightening around yours. “it’s not like that,” she pleaded, her voice cracking slightly. “i know what i’m asking. this isn’t the alcohol talking. it’s me — your winter, remember?”
you stared at her, your chest tightening as her words settled over you. “are you sure?”
“please,” she whispered, leaning just a little closer. “just one kiss. i need you to know how much you mean to me.”
then you nodded, your voice barely audible as you said, “okay.”
the relief on her face was instant. she leaned in slowly, giving you time to pull away if you wanted to, but you didn’t. her warm lips brushed against yours softly, hesitantly, as if she was afraid of pushing too far. her hand came up to cup your cheek, her thumb brushing against your skin in a gentle, almost praising way.
her tongue darted out to meet yours, hesitant at first but growing bolder as the kiss grew more intense. your tongues danced together, a rhythm of unspoken words and emotions too overwhelming to say aloud.
her fingers moved to cup your face, thumbs brushing against your skin as if she was trying to memorise the feel of you.
she wasn’t just kissing you — she was apologising, pleading and pouring every unspoken word into the way her lips moved against yours.
you hummed softly against her lips, your hands finding their way to her waist and pulling her closer. she smiled when your skin pressed against hers letting your arm snake around her body.
and once minjeong was no longer content with just that, she shifted in her seat, climbing over the console until she was straddling you in the driver’s seat. her knees pressed against the sides of the chair, her body fitting perfectly against yours as her hands tangled in your hair.
the kiss turned hungrier, more desperate, as if she was afraid this moment might slip away. her fingers pulled your hair slightly as her lips moved against yours with a hunger that made your heart race.
your hands slid up her back, pressing her closer until there wasn’t an inch of space left between you.
“minjeong,” you murmured against her lips, your voice breathless but she silenced you with another kiss, her lips capturing yours in a way that made your head spin. “this isn’t one kiss.”
“please don’t push me away,” she whispered between kisses, her voice trembling. “i’ll prove it to you, y/n. i’ll prove that i can be better. just…don’t let me go.”
your hands gripped her waist, anchoring her to you. “i’m not pushing you away,” you replied softly, your lips brushing against hers. “but this doesn’t fix everything.”
“i know,” she mumbled quickly, her forehead resting against yours. “but i miss you, i’m sorry.”
you kissed her again, slower this time, more deliberate. your tongues moved together in the same rhythm, her hands trailing down to your shoulders, her touch lingering as if she was afraid you might vanish.
when you finally broke apart, both of you were breathing heavily, your foreheads still pressed together. her eyes fluttered open and she looked at you with so much adoration in her eyes.
“come inside,” she whispered, her voice soft but insistent. “please, stay with me tonight.”
“okay,” you pressed a kiss against her cheek, your voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. “let’s go.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the end.
322 notes · View notes
valentine-cafe · 3 days ago
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Happy 1 year anniversary! I'm so happy to have been able to witness this blog continue to grow. Keep up the good work!
As for my order, can I get an affogato please?
Inexperienced!reader seeing Vespasiano at a bar and deciding to shoot his shot only to be a nervous wreck the entire time while trying to flirt with him. Vespasiano finding all this adorable and taking him home and teaching reader how to fuck him properly! (with reader just immediately cumming the second he's able to stick his dick into Vesp) 👏
˖⁺. ﹙ vampire lieutenant dilf  x inexperienced top sub male reader. ﹚ .𖹭 ݁
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. . . there you go. fuck look at you, doing so good !! 🍒 :  vampiric ˖ lieutenant ˖ dilf character﹙ verse 781 vespsiano. ﹚
you've always wondered what it would be like inside of him, you didn't think he'd be the one to teach you how to fuck him. | cw: blowjob, handjob, anal, inexperienced male reader, lots of humping <3
𖹭. ps : thank you so much !! we hope this is to your liking!
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“Yeah?”
Heat warms your face with the low rumble to your ear. When did his hand get on your thigh? The calloused thumb strokes along your skin spark your head into dizzy episodes. It’s the alcohol, you convince yourself. But something tells you the golden hue of bourbon isn’t what you’re drowning in — but emerald eyes lightly creased at the corners.
“Well I . . .” you hope that the throat clear helps. “You know y-you’re. . . one to talk - with that - uhm -” seems not.
Vespasiano, that’s his name. The patron you’d heard all the bartenders giggling about time and time again. He came in, ordered his old fashion or neat whiskey, sat for a bit. Smoked his cigarette, then left. You’d seen him a few times. Today you summoned all your non-existing confidence to shoot your short.
It’s going as well as a virgin with a hooker.
Or is it? His chuckle shoots the heat on your face to your crotch. The stir against your pants spins your head further. When did your pants get so tight?
Tight. You wonder how tight he is. But could you even manage fucking him? He didn’t look like the switch type — let alone the switch. The thrum of your dick against black fabric begged for such. A chance, just one chance.
Your nerves, however, tell another story. “I uh - j-just . . . forget I - said - a-anything haha -” the choppy laugh interrupts halfway. The floor creaks with skidded wood and the hand on your thigh doubles over to the other. The bar counter welcomes your back. As though to wingman you for the towering shadow he casts over you. That grin on his lips that makes you want to buck against him here and now.
Damn everyone else. If you could have him over this counter here and now. . .
The trail of a finger down your throat sends your thoughts derailed. All you can do is gulp. Flit your eyes up to his amused ones that peer at the bobbing of your Adam’s apple. “Don’t chicken out on me now. Don’t think your pants down there would appreciate’t.”
You needn’t glance down. Your tent strains proudly against his inner thigh. The warmth hitches your breath. By some grace, you manage to breathe out a final - “But - aren’t you still drinking?”
Save your poor heart. It wasn’t ready for him to lean over with gazes locked and hand steady. Snatch his glass and gulp the bitter liquid down like honey. Eyes on yours the entire time. Shadowed by dark strands drooped over.
Thud to the wood. The feel of his strong arm round your waist is deadly. So is his whisper. Those small fangs that peek through his grin.
“Now ‘m not.”
He’s not a bottom, not a switch either. And yet here is. On his back, shirt gone, pants discarded. To say you were surprised at his understanding was an understatement.
“Thaat’s it. . . keep going,” he groans with his cock finding home in your hand. The perfect sleeve as it pumps slowly, shakily down his length. His face might send you into a spur right now. Blissed out. You’d splatter immediately. But for the life of you, your gaze refuses to release his dick.
To say he’s big is an insult. You’re lucky it’s just his ass you’ll have today. The veiny flesh and twitches with suds of precum salivates your mouth. It takes every fibre to not dive down and choke on his dick all over again. His shaky groans aren’t making it any easier.
“Haven’t done this before either.” He’s so assuring. The large hand strokes along your face and his blissful smile almost has you humping on his leg. Desperate much?
“Been on receivin’, I mean - fuck.”
His words had some magic because your hand acted on fuel. Pumping along steadily to the thrum of his pulses. The rolls of his hips.
Next you catch his wet hole. Your throbbing borders painful as much as pleasurable. To sate the desire you swoop down and kiss around his thick tip. Shudder into his slit and stroke beneath his cockhead. His taste perfectly compliments the bitterness of alcohol. You’d get drunk on him any day.
But a hand to your hair snaps you from your swirl of need. With a gruff - “you gonna keep suckin’ me dry or?” oh, there’s that devilish chuckle again. Your insides flare in competition with your face that he grinds up into shamelessly. “Or are you gonna fuck me, pretty boy? ‘m waiting.”
Your kisses rain down on his muscular highs like apologies crossed with whines. “Nervous. . . I wanna make you feel good.” There you go humping mindlessly into the mattress again. Imagine his hips instead of the scratch of linen.
A warm, tender hand to the back of your neck leads you home to his lips. They overtake yours in a fire, a passion. One that surely is meant to pull more of your pathetic noises out. So you attempt to win back your pride by shoving your hands to his shoulders and forcing him back down.
“That’s it.” If you thought his groan made you dizzy then the squeeze of his hand around your dick as he reached forward crumbled you entirely. Like hot candle wax, you fall onto him with a melt and buck into his thigh.
The slick of previous lube steals your breath. So you return the favour with lathered kisses into his mouth. An exchange of tongue and teeth. All while he guides you steadily.
Excitement shoots through you at the feel of his rim. Straight from your tip and through your dick. Your hands brace on his sides and his squeeze at your hips. The kiss parts again. Strings of saliva the last evidence. Your hips buck. Your gut pleads for you to just push in. But a quick reminder of his own inexperience in this field steers your muscles to a halt.
Inexperienced? You’d never consider him such.
Not with the way he touches you. Certainly not with his words laced with teasing lilts He’d be the death of you. And you would so readily let him bury you. Just how you wish to bury within those warm walls.
“Now. . . easy does it.” He mumbles against kisses to your neck. Small assurances that swell and squeeze your heart. Your body moves on automation. Muscles robotically dancing to his rhythm as your tip glides along his hole. You’re so busy bothering your lower lip with your teeth that you fail to notice him doing the same. “Just. . . there. . . there - hah -”
Surely, this is a trap. The tightness of his heat encasing your cock inch - by agonising inch - is a sabotage in every degree of the word. One for your heart that leaps straight into your throat. You bob it down with gulps of saliva and swallowed gasps. It’d be too humiliating to -
“Let it out. . .”
“F-Fuck . . .”
It’s such a pathetic noise really. In comparison to his deep, rumbled groans and grunts — you feel like a whimpering kitten. How can you be anything but when he’s thrumming around your cock like that? When his heat makes you so dizzy that you have to droop your head to his scarred chest and press kisses all over his skin?
There’s no stopping your hips as they chase pleasure. Bucks meet his thighs and your hands flex around his sides. Searching for a leverage, a comfort, to cling to while he consumes your body whole. For a moment - you forget that you are the one inside of him.
“S-So good -”
“Yeah?”
The ragged breath finally steals your attention. The sight of him beneath you is enough to snap several chords in your tummy. With emerald eyes peered through fluttery half-lids. His brows itch to crease at the centre. There’s no missing the subtle flex of his fingers in the dark sheets. And that light blush scattered across his face? He’s the sight of heaven, splayed out on a bed of all things for crying out loud.
Every fibre in your body begs for you not to be a hero. His heat is not something you can manage. Stubbornly, still, you persist and press in further. Feel the tightness in your gut. The swell in your chest.
It happened so fast. White blinds your vision and takes over your movements. You’re needily bucking into his lube-slathered heat with tiny, pitiful humps. Lips parted, eyes fluttered. The shudder that tears through your body shoves you down onto him again and you moan out against his collarbone.
Heat fizzles into realisation. But before you can so much as apologise, that tender feeling finds the small of your back once more. You feel his smile against your temple; and his hips rolling into yours as though you didn’t just bust already.
“That good huh?” The snicker makes you flush. For the life of you, you cannot bother with embarrassment or pleasantries. All you can do is stutter your cock forward in shallow, aimless thrusst.
“A-Ah - ah - m-m sorry. . . mngh. . . just mngh - s’good.”
“Keep going. Steady. Make a - a - ah - a rhythm.”
Large palms flatten on your thighs. Then squeeze. Vespasiano steers your hips forward until you catch the hang of it. His lips motivate you with showers all over your neck and shoulders. You return it tenfold with bites and marks littered across his throat and chest.
Pleasure swells through your head. Strikes down your spine. The air leaves you in bouts you can barely keep up with. Not that you care. Not that it matters. Who needs air when pleasure flies you to cloud nine?
“D-Does - does it feel - feel good?” Your eyes search his scrunched up face for an answer. Your impatience drops a hand to his cock, and you messily stroke along the trails of wetness leaked from his pulsating tip. An action he clearly was not anticipating with the way his back arched and moans tumbled forth.
Not groans. Not grunts. Moans. You really are in heaven. To have a man of his experience, his age, his occupation and stature. Moan for you.
Your thrusts catch wind of the small ego boost. Fueled with pride you angle, like he’s taught you, and buck ferally into different spots. Searching for that one - just that one -
“A-Ah fuck-!”
There.
“Answer me. . . Please,” the whine borders all sorts of needy and pathetic. Your lips are wet on his throat as you suckle down on his adam’s apple and press your skin together. Consume his heat for your own. “T-Tell me you feel good. That I’m - making - hngh.”
“Feels - good.” he groans. You don’t expect the hand that claps down on your thigh. Only the grin that he shoots up at you.
“But go faster. Yeah - ngh - th-thas’ ittt. . .”
What more can you do but drive yourself to madness with your messy thrusts? You’ll keep humping away at his tight hole. Shower him in kisses, bites, gropes - what have you. Sure you might cum more times as you. But as long as you both get your fill — who cares about inexperience?
Just gives him more time to teach more. More time for you to fuck him.
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amourquinn · 23 hours ago
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( short fic ) 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓
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pairing : fwb!quinn x fem!reader wc. 1.3k
genre : fluff(?) angst(?) quinn and reader have too many thoughts in their heads no warnings really
summary : you and quinn navigate the blurred lines of what you have going on, each secretly wondering if there’s more between you than just physical connection
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quinn sat alone in his dark apartment, the hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen the only sound cutting through the stillness. his phone rested in his palm, the soft glow from the screen illuminating his face as his thumb hovered over a single contact.
he didn’t know why he felt this way tonight. maybe it was the silence, or the ache that came with sitting in a space that no longer felt like home. his teammates had plans, the usual banter and beers, but he’d turned it down, muttering some halfhearted excuse. the truth was, he didn’t feel like being around anyone who’d ask too many questions.
no one except you.
are you up?
he hit send and dropped the phone onto the couch cushion beside him, holding his breath like he was waiting for something that might not come.
it was late—later than a reasonable hour to be texting someone you weren’t technically dating. “friends” didn’t fit either. friends didn’t hold each other the way you did when the lights were off. friends didn’t seek comfort in the warmth of someone else’s bed after long, lonely nights.
a few minutes passed. quinn exhaled, leaning back against the couch, and just as his phone buzzed, his heart jumped.
y/n : yeah, i’m up. you okay?
he hesitated for a moment, fingers ghosting over the screen. he didn’t want to say too much. this thing between you didn’t have boundaries, but it had unspoken rules. don’t ask too much. don’t admit too much. don’t be too honest.
can i come over?
the typing bubbles appeared and disappeared once, twice. he imagined you sitting there, curled up in the oversized sweater you liked to sleep in, weighing the pros and cons of letting him in. finally, your answer came.
y/n : yeah. door’s open
⋆˙⟡
when he showed up at your door, hands tucked into the pockets of his hoodie, his hair damp from a quick shower, you couldn’t help but smile faintly. it was late—too late for casual hangouts—but you didn’t mind. you hadn’t been able to shake your own restlessness, and quinn’s presence felt like a solution to a problem neither of you had named.
“hey,” you said softly, stepping aside to let him in.
“hey.” he shrugged out of his jacket and toed off his sneakers. there was an easy familiarity to his movements, like he’d done this a hundred times before. and he had.
the two of you ended up on your couch, the same couch that had seen more than a few nights like this one. you handed him a glass of water, taking a sip from your own as you curled your legs beneath you. the silence was comfortable, but it felt heavier tonight, like something unsaid hung between you.
“you okay?” you asked eventually, looking at him through the soft glow of the lamp on your side table.
quinn glanced at you, the muscles in his jaw working like he was debating whether to tell the truth. “yeah. just didn’t feel like being alone tonight.”
your heart tugged at his honesty. “me either,” you admitted, your voice quiet.
that seemed to catch his attention. he turned to face you a little more, resting his arm along the back of the couch. “why’s that?”
you shrugged, swirling the water in your glass. “i don’t know. i think i get in my own head when it’s this quiet. makes me think about… things.”
“what kinds of things?”
“things i’m not sure i want to talk about.” you shot him a small, teasing smile to lighten the weight of the conversation. “what about you?”
he didn’t smile back—not fully. “probably the same.”
and just like that, the air between you changed. it wasn’t the usual easy companionship, the stolen moments of closeness that you had both become so used to. tonight felt different, and you weren’t sure how to handle that.
“do you ever think about…” quinn trailed off, his voice low and unsure.
“think about what?”
he shifted a little, looking at his hands. “where this is going. us, i mean.”
your heart skipped a beat. “quinn…”
“i’m not saying i want to mess this up,” he cut in quickly, like he needed to get the words out before he lost his nerve. “i just—i think about it sometimes. what it would be like if we tried to be more than… this.”
you stared at him, your pulse racing in your ears. this—whatever “this” was—had worked because it was easy. there were no strings, no expectations, just you and quinn finding comfort in each other when you needed it most. but now, he was opening a door you weren’t sure you were ready to walk through.
“do you want that?” you asked softly, carefully.
quinn ran a hand through his hair, letting out a long breath. “i don’t know. maybe. i just—” he looked at you then, really looked at you, and the honesty in his eyes made your chest ache. “i like being around you. not just like this. i like talking to you and… knowing you’re here. i don’t want to lose that.”
you swallowed, trying to ignore the way your throat tightened at his words. “i feel the same way,” you admitted.
“yeah?”
“yeah.”
the two of you sat in silence for a moment, the weight of the conversation settling between you. it was terrifying to admit what you were both feeling—to acknowledge that maybe this thing you had wasn’t as casual as you’d pretended it was.
quinn shifted closer, his knee brushing against yours as he leaned back into the couch. “you don’t have to answer right now. i just… i wanted you to know.”
you looked at him, at the way his brows furrowed in that familiar way they always did when he was thinking too hard about something. you’d seen him like this before—vulnerable and quiet—but tonight, it hit you differently. maybe because you felt the same way.
“okay,” you said softly, reaching out to place your hand on his arm. “thank you for telling me.”
he nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as his shoulders relaxed slightly. then, you shifted closer, your body leaning gently against his. “you don’t have to leave tonight if you don’t want to.”
it wasn’t an offer you usually made. you didn’t stay. it was an unspoken rule. but something in the way you said it—soft, tentative—made quinn’s heart skip a beat.
“you sure?” he asked, searching your face.
you smiled faintly. “yeah. i think i’d like it if you stayed.”
quinn let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, a quiet “okay” falling from his lips. he shifted so his arm could wrap around your shoulders, pulling you close. your head rested against his chest, and for the first time in a long time, the silence didn’t feel so loud.
you stayed like that for a while—two lonely people finding solace in each other’s presence. quinn could feel himself relaxing, his eyes starting to drift shut as he breathed you in.
the admission hung in the air between the two of you, fragile but undeniable. quinn felt something shift inside him, like a door cracking open. maybe tonight wasn’t just another lonely night. maybe it was the start of something more.
you smiled—a real one this time, not the tired version you’d worn earlier—and settled back against his chest. he held you tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as his eyes slipped closed.
there was still so much left unsaid, but for now, this was enough. almost something, but not quite.
and maybe that was okay. for tonight.
© amourquinn
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synamartia · 2 days ago
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First of all: Vexi, you're a bigger person than me. I wouldn't have blurred the username/pfp on that last one.
Second, how the fuck is someone gonna spew all this hate, then turn right around and make a request in the same breath? Like seriously??? Make it make sense. Please.
As fanfic writers with lives outside of tumblr and limited perspective on multiple topics for whatever reason, we do our best to make sure what we write is inclusive or at least left vague enough for Reader to fill in the blanks. We do this in our free time, for free, and it is incredibly disheartening to receive or see someone else receive things like this, especially when you know it to not be true.
I understand it's upsetting when you can't find quality fics or something you've been enjoying hits you with a detail that makes it no longer entertaining. But if you don't like the direction a story is going, or a detail like skin color of ANY character in said story, just stop reading it. It's that fucking easy. Or maybe, oh, I don't know - try writing it yourself instead of harassing someone because they're not catering to your criteria for reading material? Maybe then you would understand exactly how much time and effort is put into a fic, and the hours upon days of research to make sure what we write is accurate.
Vexi is not a POC and has outright stated that she doesn't know much about the experiences of the African American community, now or in the 1930s. As a writer that strives to give everyone quality fics that are both compelling and accurate, it is well within her rights to make Reader white because one: it's what she understands; and two: it's her story, not yours. Stop harassing writers just because they don't write something specific like the POV of someone in the Black community - it's incredibly immature and uncouth, and it makes us not want to write at all. I reiterate: if you don't like it, don't read it.
I'm so sorry that you're getting these messages, Vexi, and I hope that it doesn't deter you from writing to any degree. Don't let this anon get to you, dear. You're an amazing person with a heart of gold. Every word you type is magnificent, and I look forward to reading more from you! 💖
And to the anon doing this: I know you're making your rounds of Hazbin Hotel writers, seeing as Vexi is not the first one I've seen being harassed in such a manner. Just know that I'm turning anon off for my blog, and if you or anyone else decides to hop in my inbox, I will put you on blast so that everyone knows the kind of piece of shit you are for harassing others and spewing the same kind of hate we're ALL trying to eliminate. 🖕
PSA: RACISM, BIGOTRY, ENTITLEMENT IN HAZBIN HOTEL FANDOM
CONTENT WARNING: Inflammatory hate speech, White hate, political baiting, gaslighting, racism, death threats
The messages I’ve received and am addressing below contain upsetting and harmful language that has no place in any community. If these topics are distressing to you, please prioritize your well-being and feel free to stop reading here. Thank you for taking care of yourself.
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I never imagined I would find myself addressing this, but here we are. This post is regarding my recent story, Stay With Me, which has stirred up unexpected controversy due to my decision to imply the reader’s race as white. I want to clarify that this choice was made purely for plot purposes.
The story is set in 1920s Louisiana, a time and place where racial and class dynamics were deeply significant. This backdrop was essential to the narrative’s themes of tension and forbidden love, as it explores the societal barriers that would have made a relationship between Alastor and the reader virtually impossible. The decision to depict the reader as an upper-class white individual was not arbitrary—it was intentional, aimed at heightening the drama and emotional weight of their story.
I deeply value the Hazbin Hotel fandom and the x-reader community. Writing for this space has brought me immense joy, and I’ve formed wonderful connections with both readers and fellow writers. That’s why receiving such hateful and inflammatory messages has been incredibly disheartening. The accusations of racism, the vitriol, and the twisting of my creative choices into something they were never meant to be—this has shaken me more than I can express.
To the anonymous senders of these messages: I want to make it clear that my work comes from a place of love and passion. My intention has always been to tell compelling stories that explore complex emotions, societal norms, and the human condition—stories that resonate with readers on a deeper level. To reduce my work to a political agenda or an act of prejudice is deeply hurtful and entirely unfounded.
I want to echo sentiments shared by Kit (please check out her explanation here), another writer in the fandom, who also explored the racial and class dynamics between characters. Like them, I am fascinated by the tension and drama that arise from star-crossed love stories, particularly when societal laws and prejudices forbid such relationships. Writing the reader as white in this context wasn’t about excluding or favoring anyone—it was about creating an authentic narrative rooted in the realities of the era.
For those questioning why I made this choice, I ask: if you can suspend disbelief to fall in love with a cannibalistic, asexual deer demon, why is the reader’s race—chosen for specific plot reasons—the line you cannot cross? My goal as a writer is to craft stories that make sense within their own context. The entitlement to demand otherwise, or to impose personal prejudices onto my work, is unfair and unwarranted.
I hate that I’ve had to turn off anonymous asks. Some of the most heartfelt and hilarious messages I’ve received have come from anonymous users, and losing that connection with my readers pains me. But unfortunately, the actions of a loud, hateful minority have left me with no choice. I will not entertain further discourse on this matter after this post.
To those who have supported me, who have read my stories and shared kind words: thank you. Your encouragement is what keeps me going. Writing for this fandom has been a labor of love, and I pour my heart and soul into every piece I create—for free, might I add. It’s devastating to feel that love overshadowed by hostility.
I won’t let this stop me from creating, but I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t made me question my place here. To anyone who feels entitled to tear down what others create out of hatred or spite: I hope you take a moment to reflect on the harm your words can cause.
To my true supporters: I appreciate you more than words can express. Your kindness reminds me why I love writing in the first place. Thank you for standing by me.
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machisneedle · 2 days ago
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hii, I just saw that you have open requests ^^Can I ask for a lighter x reader who has the personality or is similar to Clorinde 🙏🙏🙏🙏 I beg you. I hope it goes well for you 🙏🙏🙏Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes because I lost my glasses.
Hellooo, ofc I can !! Also your spelling is perfectly fine <3
Lighter x s/o with a personality similar to clorindes ・₊✧₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎
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✧ content: headcannon format , fluff , confessioning love , pre-relationship and current relationship.
Safe for minors to read !!
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✧ I feel like his serious but also unserious mood would be a refresher for you , also helping you become more comfortable around him. For example , if you're dealing with something stressful , he'd be the type to try to keep you out of the house and even if it's just to hang out with Lucy or ceaser knowing your not alone makes him feel better.
✧ he'd definitely fall for you first. your strong and stoic front you put on is so intriguing to him because he's a serious person when he wants to be , but the fact he's NEVER seen you break that serious personality apart from a couple chuckles or when your trying to make Lucy feel better about something silly , it makes him want get closer to you. He also finds you badass as fuck but he'd never say it.
✧ when you finally realise you somehow like this man , you considered a complete and utter idiot. You're in complete denial , like how could I fall for HIM type thing.
✧ he is the one to confess 100% . He was confident , but he never thought you'd actually say yes to him. He was expecting you to stare at him like he was a creature from the hallow , so when you said yes he was actually taken aback by your word's , he totally hit you with a " yeah thats cool... cool " while he's internally screaming , before thinking about telling caesar and the others about it. He is a girl dad at heart ok.
✧ it might not be your cup of tea going out to his fights , but PLEASE do it at least once , this man will be yours for life if you do. Even if you sit there looking uninterested as normal because you finally gave into his begs, he'd be over the moon totally, not because you finally gave into going. He'd try to catch your attention by winking at you when you'd look his way , or if he was feeling extra like a little bitch he'd blow you a kiss being met by ur disappointed eye roll never got boring for him. When you find him afterwards dragging him home, he'd hit you with a " c'mon it wasn't that bad darlin " with that classic smirk on his face... let's just say he got a bonk on the head for that one.
✧ he sometimes found it hard to understand your emotions because of how closed off you could be. He would go to one of the girls about it and ask them what he should do , this man is a dumbass when it comes to love sometimes. He'd always be told to just go to you about it , so after a while , he gave in and went to you. It wasn't easy at first getting you to open up for him , but when you did , it made your relationship a lot better.
✧ at first, if anyone tried to hit on you, he'd be instantly at their throats, but there was one time he was grabbing something to drink while you sat and waited. He came back to a guy walking away uncomfortably looking like he was about to burst into tears , " What's up with him, huh ? " he chuckled , sliding you your drink. " he tried to hit on me, so I told him it straight. I wasn't interested. " You shrugged , " you don't say, " he replied. Ever since then , if someone hit on you he just let you give them that resting bitch face that made men run for the hills. Most men apart from him , personally found any face you pulled stunning .
✧ so , in summary you both have your Flaws mainly with communication , but you both try your best and that's all that matters <3
This is my first time writing lighter so sorry if he's abit out of character !! This request was really fun because I love clorinde
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spanktony · 15 hours ago
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“I’LL DO ANYTHING.” - anora.
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summary: when you snap at anora, she leaves your place pissed, and you come back begging to make things right.
words: 2.3k +
warnings: 18+, fem!reader, oral (a receiving), fingering (a receiving), begging, ani calls u a good girl, reader is a meanie for a bit then turns to a lil bitch, this is bad, and yeah let me know if there’s more.
navigation. request.
tired would be an understatement of how you felt right now. your head pounded, each beat following up with a sigh from your boss's mouth, reminding you of the looming deadline for the project that still needed to be completed.
so, here you were on a call at 9:48 in the morning, on a day you were supposed to be off, with three other colleagues discussing the next steps for the project.
you rubbed your eyes, trying to shake off the heaviness that had settled deep in your bones. you sat at your desk, a few feet away from anora's side of the bed, which made it harder to resist the temptation to crawl back under the covers and ignore the world for a little while longer. but you knew better. you couldn't afford to.
literally.
your phone buzzed on the desk, shifting your attention from one screen to the other. oh shit. the driver. you had planned a low-key day with anora—just the two of you—but now it seemed like that might have to wait.
your stomach sank as you glanced at the message: i'm here. do you want me to grab anything for you two?
you quickly typed back: no, that's fine. you can come inside and wait. i'm in a meeting; it shouldn't take too long.
hopefully…
you hoped anora wouldn't be too disappointed with the change of plans. the message sent, and you set your phone down again, the screen lighting up, showing the call you've been on for... three ongoing hours?!
behind you, anora stirred, waking up from her deep sleep. "good morning," she murmured, her voice thick with sleep.
you turned slightly, offering a tired smile as you double-checked to make sure you were still muted on your work call. "good morning, babe. sleep well?"
"mmm-hmm," she hummed, stretching. you heard the soft crack of her spine as she reached her arms over her head, a sound that made your heart swell a little. she padded across the hardwood floor with that familiar grace, her feet quiet but sure.
you could feel her before you saw her, like a magnet drawing you in. then she was there, leaning down to plant a lingering kiss on your neck. it made your skin tingle, sending a shiver down your spine. "you've been up for hours, haven't you?" she whispered, a teasing smile playing on her lips.
"i have to finish this report," you murmured, half-distracted.
but anora wasn't deterred. her lips trailed to your jawline and then to your cheek, playful and persistent.
"ani," you said softly, trying to keep your voice steady. "i'm on a call."
she ignored your plea, her hands sliding over your shoulders as she planted another kiss on your temple.
"ani, seriously," you hissed, though a hint of laughter betrayed you.
"what? i'm just showing my hardworking girlfriend some love," she teased, grinning against your skin. it was sweet; it really was. but your boss's voice in your ear reminded you of the pressing deadline, and her teasing felt like too much in the moment.
"anora, stop!" you snapped, louder than intended.
her hands froze, and the warmth that had been cocooning you suddenly vanished. you heard her inhale sharply, and when she stepped back, it was like a cold breeze had replaced her presence.
"what the hell?" she asked with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows, still in the same position, looking hurt and confused. you felt your stomach twist. "i—" you started, but the words got tangled.
"i'm sorry for trying to spend time with you," she said, her voice raising in pitch before she swallowed hard. "god forbid i... i don't know, make you feel appreciated or something."
"i'm just trying to work, anora! i have deadlines, responsibilities—"
"and i'm a distraction, right?" she shot back, "just a little nuisance in your way?"
you opened your mouth to apologize, to explain, but she was already moving, grabbing her overnight bag from the floor and shoving her things inside haphazardly. it was like a fire was spreading through the room with how quickly she was packing up to leave.
"ani," you called out, your voice more desperate now. "please, wait. don't go."
but she ignored you, shoulders tense and eyes avoiding yours as she zipped up her bag. you heard the soft thud of her bag slung over her shoulder, and before you could say another word, she was at the door.
"y/n? are you here?" your boss's voice reminding you of the meeting you were supposed to be in right now. you looked at your phone, then the door your girlfriend had just rushed out of. sighing heavily, you unmuted your phone and replied, "yes, i'm here."
the hours that followed felt like eternity. the empty apartment was so quiet, so still, that it almost felt suffocating. by the time night fell, you couldn't bear it anymore. you gathered a few things—her favorite snacks, the earrings she had been eyeing for weeks but never bought, and a small bouquet of flowers you'd picked up on a whim.
your driver pulled up to her old place, her place that she rarely stayed at anymore because she was always at your apartment. she had even given you a spare copy of her key so you could move her things to your place when she was busy.
you opened the door and found the living room empty, thankful her roommate wasn't home. you knocked on her bedroom door, calling out her name softly.
the door creaked open, and there she was. anora's head peeked out from behind the door, her eyebrows furrowing both in anger and confusion, as she clearly wasn't expecting you. she was still in the clothes she'd left in, her hair slightly disheveled.
"what are you doing here?" she asked, opening her door slightly further to get a better look at you.
"i... i came to apologize," you said quickly, holding out the flowers like a shield. she eyed them, unimpressed.
"anora, please. i was an idiot. i shouldn't have snapped at you. you were just being sweet, and i let my stress get the better of me." she leaned against the doorframe, silent, her gaze piercing.
"i brought your favorite snacks," you added, holding up the bag. "and earrings. i even... i don't know, i just..."
you trailed off, realizing how desperate you sounded. but you didn't care. "please," you said softly. "i miss you. i miss us. i'll do anything to make it right."
anora sighed, stepping aside to let you in. you stepped inside her room, slowly closing the door behind you, watching as she stood a couple of feet in front of her bed. the tension in the air was thick as you set the flowers and bag on the nightstand beside you.
her expression softened, just a fraction. "anything?"
"anything," you promised, stepping closer, inches away from her.
"you really hurt my feelings," she said finally, a hand coming to cup your cheek, and you stumbled even closer to her, your lips ghosting hers.
you looked so fucking adorable in that moment, with that vulnerable, almost lost look on your face. like a kicked puppy—those sad, pleading eyes. you looked so damn cute, but she wasn't going to let you off the hook that easily.
her thumb brushed gently across your cheekbone. "you said anything, right?"
you nodded quickly, your hand wrapping around her forearm, and her heart skipped a beat. the way you held her arm, like you couldn't stand the distance between you two, made her lips twitch upward.
there was something in the way you looked at her now, something so earnest, so full of regret, that made her resolve waver just slightly. her eyes darted to your lips, feeling the heat between you both rise. god, you were so close, and she was fighting every instinct that told her to pull you in. to kiss you like she wanted to, to let you wrap her in your arms, to hold her.
her gaze flitted up, catching yours.
"anything," you repeated again, barely a whisper.
"get on your knees," she whispered. without hesitating, you lowered yourself in front of her, her hand running a hand through your hair. you stared up at her, waiting.
"beg."
"please," you said, the frustration clear in your voice.
"please what?"
"please forgive me, ani. i shouldn't have snapped at you."
"no, you shouldn't have. you didn't mean it, did you?"
you shook your head.
"that's right. because you wouldn't dare treat me like that. right, baby?" you nodded again, your hands finding their way to her thighs, gripping them tightly. anora's hands left your hair and cupped your face gently. "good girl," she said, a smile playing on her lips.
you licked your lips when your girlfriend began pulling her shorts down, revealing her bare skin inch by inch. she watched you the whole time, smiling, that smile that made your heart race with anticipation.
you leaned in, kissing the insides of her thighs, and she hummed. it was a gentle kiss, the kind that she needed after the day she had today, and it sent a wave of pleasure through her.
"such a good girl," she whispered, and your lips trailed higher, pressing against the clothed heat between her legs. she let out a soft moan, her hands finding your hair again to stop her legs from trembling.
you pressed a lingering kiss to the spot before pulling back, your gaze meeting hers. anora's eyes were half-lidded, her cheeks flushed, and she looked so gorgeous; what kind of an idiot would raise their voice at her? oh, that's right... you did.
"ani," you murmured, looking up at her, pleading.
"i forgive you, baby," she breathed, pulling her underwear to the side, revealing her glistening pussy. you could see the desire in her eyes as she guided you closer, silently inviting you to continue. with a soft smile, you leaned in to fulfill her unspoken request, eager to make things right between you.
you kissed her again, harder this time, your tongue slipping between her folds, tasting her sweetness as she moaned softly in response. you kept going, your tongue circling her clit slowly, teasingly. you couldn't help yourself, not when she was this wet and not when you owed it to her.
her grip tightened on your hair, and you moaned against her, sending a shockwave through her body. you looked up at her once more, taking in the sight of her, the way her lips parted slightly, the way her chest rose and fell with every breath she took.
"more," she whispered, her hips rocking forward, covering your chin with her slick wetness. you obliged, increasing the pressure and speed of your movements, your hands digging in the back of her thighs, trying to pull her even closer to you.
you continued like this, listening to her soft moans and pleas until she was close. she tugged on your hair, trying to pull you away.
"wait," she gasped, "not yet."
you pulled back, wiping your chin with the back of your hand. "did i do something wrong?" you asked, suddenly worried.
"no," she breathed, her eyes fluttering open to meet yours, her hands still tangled in your hair. "it's just been a while, and i want your fingers." you smiled like an idiot, rising off your knees to kiss her for the first time that night.
her lips were soft, pliant, and you savored the taste of her on your tongue. "fuck, i missed you," you mumbled, her lips parting to let out a soft chuckle, falling against the bed with you in a tangle of limbs.
"me too, baby. now be good and finish what you started." you nodded eagerly, sliding a hand up under her shirt, your fingers grazing her skin until you reached her chest, cupping her breast in your hand, feeling her heartbeat quicken beneath your touch.
"i'll make you feel so good," you whispered, leaning in to kiss her neck as she arched into your touch, a soft moan escaping her lips. "hurry," she urged, her voice breathless.
you slid your hand back down her body, tracing the outline of her curves before finally reaching your destination, sliding your middle finger into her pussy and feeling her wetness enveloping you. she gasped at the sensation, her hips instinctively moving against your hand as she whispered, "don't stop."
her head fell back, her fingers gripping the sheets when you added another finger, increasing the pressure and speed of your movements, your eyes locked on her flushed face, the way her eyes closed and her mouth fell open as she let out a moan, her back arching against the mattress.
you continued like this for a few minutes, watching her writhe underneath you, her hips rolling against your fingers. her moans were music to your ears, and the sight of her like this was enough to make you let out a low growl of satisfaction.
her breathing was labored, her hips bucking wildly, and you knew she was close. extremely close. her body tensed, her hands gripping the sheets so tightly that they were shaking, and her moans became louder and more desperate. you kept going, not letting up, ignoring the ache in your own hand.
"come for me, ani," you said softly, curling your fingers inside her, hitting that spot that drove her crazy. her moans grew louder, and her body stiffened, and then she finally reached her peak, letting out a loud cry of pleasure. "yes, fuck!"
you felt her walls clench around your fingers, pulsing with the force of her release. her head fell back against the pillow, and her body went limp, her chest heaving as she struggled to catch her breath.
you watched her, mesmerized, not wanting to take your eyes off her for even a second.
you finally pulled out your fingers, bringing them to your mouth and sucking on them, tasting her sweet juices. her eyes fluttered open, and she looked at you, her expression softening.
"what candy did you buy?"
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sebastianstangirl01 · 3 days ago
Text
✧˖° lifeline | rafe cameron
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pairing - rafe cameron x routledge!reader
warnings - violence (jj decking rafe), language, pregnancy (audrey’s pregnant instead of sarah), almost drowning
summary - after rafe, who just so happens to be your baby daddy, offers you and your friends a boat ride to Moraco tensions rise between the untrusting group. when an intense storm hits out of no where you get swept off the front of the boat by an enormous wave and rafe has to make a decision. save the woman he loves and mother of his child or ride out the storm to find groff.
authors note - well…..i’m back! kinda. sorry for literally dropping off the face of the earth, i’ve been more activish writing wise on wattpad lately. so sorry for not writing any on here! since buzzcut rafe and just drew in general are literally daddy i knew i had to write for him! i’m sure you’ve seen this trope like a million times, but that’s because it’s such a bomb trope and never gets old! at least in my opinion! with that being said, because it’s so popular it’s inevitable that these types of fics will probably be similar but i’ll try my very best to be as original as possible!! oh, also since i hate having to write y/n as the name i’ll be using is audrey since that’s my name and who doesn’t want to imagine themselves as rafe’s girl?? but for real, feel free to imagine any name you want! i hope you enjoy!!
not proofread!!
✧˖°
when rafe showed up and convinced shoupe to let you all track down groff, you thought you were dreaming. but here you are sitting on a container of god knows what stuck on a boat with your older brother (by 9 months), best friends, and ex/baby daddy who you haven’t spoken to since you found out you were pregnant 2 weeks ago.
you paced circles around the large bathroom, chewing on the side of your finger anxiously. the timer winding down on your phone seemed to be taking a lot longer than 3 minutes and the test flipped upside down on the sink seemed to be haunting you.
it all started about a week ago. you noticed some unusual changes in your everyday routine, starting with the fact that you found yourself bending over the toilet seat every morning puking your guts up.
the thought of being pregnant didn’t even click in your mind until you realized the last time you had your period was so long ago you couldn’t even remember the exact date. panic involuntarily filled your mind when you thought about your situation.
you and rafe have been off and on for as long as you could remember. him using and smoking all the time was one of the main reasons why, he wasn’t the same when he was high and he honestly scared you. when peterkin was killed you thought there was no way you’d ever be able to look at rafe the same again.
but there’s just something about him that keeps drawing you in, he’s different around you. even more so now that he’s quit abusing drugs, he makes you feel like the only girl in the world. the issue still stands though, he treats your brother and friends like the scum of the earth and nothing you say changes his behavior.
it’s exhausting having your boyfriend and friends hate each other to the point where you can’t even bring rafe around your home without someone starting a fist fight.
that’s what caused your breakup this time, you couldn’t stand the animosity between everyone and what sealed the deal was jj starting a brawl with rafe that ended with both of them having to get stitches. you felt responsible for them getting hurt and put your own feelings aside to do what you thought was best for everyone as a whole.
you and rafe broke up. but no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t stay away. which led to your current predicament.
the timer finally went off, snapping you out of your thoughts and stopping you in your tracks. you’re heart was beating so fast you thought it would burst from your chest and land in the claw foot tub across the room. biting the bullet you grabbed the test and held it tightly in your hand, not having the heart to turn it over yet.
“hey-” rafe pushed open the bathroom door making you jump in surprise
you had thought he left for work already but here he was standing in front of you with furrowed brows as his gaze landed on the test in your hand.
“rafe.” you started but he cut you off
“what the fuck is that?” rafe snapped in shock
“i uh, i’m late.” was all you could mutter as you bit your lip nervously, recognizing the cold look on rafe’s face
“and?” rafe raised his brows waiting for your answer impatiently
“I haven’t been able to look.” you admitted and rafe huffed walking closer to you and yanking the test out of your hand
the tension in the room was suffocating as rafe flipped the test over, you were terrified as you studied his face closely looking for any sign of what the test read.
“fuck.” rafe whispered before dropping the test to the ground his hands immediately coming up to press against his forehead as he turned away from you
you slowly bent down and your hands shook as you picked the test up, flipping it over your heart dropped into your stomach.
pregnant.
tears filled your eyes and your chest filled with panic, you had truly never been more scared in your life than you were in this moment. how were you supposed to raise a baby? you only just turned 19 and your home is about to be swept out from under you by greedy kooks. and you aren’t even with the father of your baby at the moment.
“holy shit.” rafe’s voice broke you out of your thoughts and you looked over at him
he was standing with his hands squeezing the counter top harshly, the veins in his neck looked like they were about to burst.
“rafe?” you whispered
“i cant do this right now.” rafe shook his head before storming out of the room
the front door slamming downstairs startled you making you jump, then it hit you. you were pregnant and alone and the tears slid down your cheeks.
that was the last you had seen or heard from rafe. when you told your brother he was less than thrilled, it took everything for you to keep him from tracking rafe down and killing him. but john b eventually realized that you needed him to be there for you so he put his feelings aside and focused on you and his future niece or nephew.
your friends were about the same story, especially jj who has always been a loose cannon. but at the end of the day they rallied around you and you knew they would be there for you and be the best aunts and uncles to the baby.
but right about now you wished you had just gone with shoupe because you were being hit with motion sickness to the extreme and felt like you were about to throw up everywhere.
“hey, what’s up?” kie frowned kneeling down in front of you, sarah immediately following
“you ok?” sarah placed her hand on your knee
it took you a second to answer having to take a few deep breaths until the nausea subsided before you blinked down at the pair.
“just nauseous.” you held a hand to your stomach
“maybe there’s some ginger ale or something in the kitchen.” kie said and you nodded the thought of the fizzy drink sounded appealing
before she could stand to go searching for anything a hand appeared in front of your face holding a can of ginger ale. you knew that veiny hand and gold ring anywhere but still looked up and saw rafe looking at you in concern.
that was the most concern he had shown you since you found out you were pregnant.
“thanks.” you smiled softly and he just nodded before disappearing back inside
you saw the look exchanged between your two best friends but ignored it as you eagerly cracked open the can before humming in delight as you took sips of the drink.
“ok, so I think it’s time we talk about the elephant on the boat.” jj started making everyone exchange confused looks. “rafe, guys.”
“what about him?” sarah furrowed her brows
“what do you mean, what about him? do we really trust that he’s not going to screw us over? shit, i wouldn’t be surprised if he was working with those psycho mercenaries and was leading us to our deaths.” jj rambled
“come on jayge, you know none of us trust him but he did save our asses. as much as i hate to admit it.” kie reminded her boyfriend who just rolled his eyes
“and that automatically excuses everything he’s done?” jj scoffed
“hey, she’s not saying that. you know i’d love to just chuck him into the ocean but so far he hasn’t tried anything. i say we play it cool then ditch him the second we dock.” pope spoke levelheadedly and the others reluctantly nodded in agreement
“but until then, what do we do?” sarah crossed her arms over her chest and leaned into john b’s side
“you know him best, aud. can we trust him to keep his word?” john b turned to his sister who had stayed quiet for the whole conversation
“i believe he’ll keep his word.” you answered after a second and john b studied you for a moment before nodding
“ok, we’ll just stay cool for now.” john b looked between everyone who reluctantly nodded
well, that didn’t last long. one second you were moving inside the cabin to get out of the sun and the next you were kneeling on the ground cradling rafe’s unconscious form after jj sucker punched him in the face.
“what the fuck jj!” you exclaimed in shock
“what? we can’t trust him, i know he’s your baby daddy and you two have some weird relationship thing but i’m not taking any chances.” jj shrugged as he grabbed a rope
“if he didn’t do it i was going to.” pope commented
you just signed and rubbed your forehead at their stupidity and stubbornness before gently stroking rafe’s cheek that was already bruising.
“i’m surrounded by idiots.” you mumbled to yourself
john b and jj carried rafe down into a small utility room after tying his hands together, shutting and locking the door behind them.
knowing there was nothing you could say to get the group to change their minds about rafe, you and cleo got to work in the kitchen looking around for something edible that could be fixed for dinner.
“what about this?” cleo turned to you holding a box of spaghetti noodles
“i guess you can never go wrong with spaghetti.” you shrugged with a small smile
you also knew that spaghetti was a safe food for you, it was one of the only foods that didn’t make you sick at the moment.
john b and pope were out on the deck trying to catch some fish, but you knew you’d be having spaghetti for dinner regardless since you don’t like seafood. jj and kie were up in the cabin making sure the boat was on course and sarah was sunbathing since there wasn’t really much else to do. of course she had offered to help cleo cook and let you relax, but you needed a distraction right now.
while cleo started boiling water, you started working on the sauce. surprisingly the kitchen was pretty nicely stocked and you were able to find a jar of marinara sauce and a bunch of different herbs and seasonings.
humming to yourself you stirred the sauce in the pan in front of you, listening to the playful banter from your friends.
after everyone ate they all agreed that it would be safest for you to be the one to bring rafe dinner. even though both jj and pope voted on letting him starve, everyone else agreed that it wasn’t right. you were nervous to approach him one on one, unsure of what he would say or do when he saw you.
getting your nerves under control, you took a deep breath before shifting the tray of food so you could push open the door. rafe blinked up at you lazily, the image brought you back to the mornings when you woke up together.
“hey, i thought you might be hungry.” you spoke softly closing the door behind you
you stepped forward and knelt down beside him, sitting the tray of food in front of him. rafe looked down at the tray in distain before looking back up at you.
“you gonna feed it to me? or am i supposed to just shove my face in it like a fuckin animal?” rafe snapped making you flinch, which he noticed and immediately took a deep breath. “baby, untie me. please.”
“don’t call me that, rafe. not when you’ve spent the past few weeks ignoring me.” you frowned in frustration
“i’m sorry. i just don’t know what to think, this is a really big thing.” rafe mumbled pulling uncomfortably at his restraints
“i know it’s a big thing rafe, trust me. i’m the one waking up every morning at the crack of dawn to puke my guts out.” you couldn’t help but snap, your emotions from the past couple of weeks overflowing
you had been so upset since finding out you were pregnant and you hate it. you hate that your first thought about your own child was a negative one. you’ve always wanted to be a mother, it’s something you dreamed about since your next door neighbor had a baby when you were 6.
so knowing that you have felt like your baby is a burden for the first part of your pregnancy makes you feel so incredibly guilty. and it’s all because of rafe, of the way he reacted to the news by up and leaving you all alone.
you want your child to have a father, and as much as you hate to admit it you want that father to be rafe. because regardless of everything, you love him.
“look, we can talk about this ok? let’s just talk about it, but first untie me.” rafe held his hands out to you
“i can’t rafe, they don’t trust you and i can’t say i blame them. you’ve never given them a reason to.” you shook your head
“i talked shoupe out of arresting all of you, i got you on this boat.” rafe scoffed
“you also beat pope, shot sarah, strangled kie, framed john b for murder, and started how many fights with jj? not to mention how you’ve continued to terrorize them in general. why would they trust you rafe?” you shook your head moving to stand
“i’m sorry. i’m sorry, audrey. ok, i’ve been a shitty guy, a shitty brother and boyfriend. i know that, but i’m getting my shit together alright? for you, i’m getting my shit together for you and the baby.” rafe rambled and you couldn’t help the way your heart fluttered at his words
especially at his mention of the baby, this being the first time you’d ever heard him acknowledge it.
“I hope you are rafe, and i’m happy for you. but you need to change for yourself too, not just me and not just our baby.” you said casting him one last look before leaving ignoring his calls from behind you
things changed so fast. one second, you were sitting next to pope trying to ignore your guilt at ignoring rafe while everyone ate and the next there was a huge clap of thunder.
the night sky was black but the swirling clouds and flashes of lightning were alarmingly clear. the ocean became harsh and unforgiving, aggressive waves slammed into the side of the boat sending it rocking back and forth wildly.
john b, accompanied by pope and jj immediately ran for the cabin to try to get control of the boat while the girls held on for dear life.
you felt a wave of fear overcome you, not just for your own life, but for the lives of everyone on the boat including the baby in your belly. of course, john b and sarah had survived sailing into a storm, but it wasn’t anywhere near as intense as the storm they are in now.
after a particularly harsh wave collided with the side of the boat, you were knocked out of your seat and hit the ground hard.
“shit!” you exclaimed trying to balance as you pushed yourself to your knees
“are you ok?” sarah grabbed your hand and pulled you to her protectively
“this isn’t good. we’re fucked, aren’t we?” you gulped holding sarah’s hand and the bottom of the table tightly
you looked around at the girls, who all had similar looks of fear on their faces, even cleo who was always calm and collected. pope rushed back down to you guys, explaining that they decided there was no way of outrunning the storm. that they just had to go through it.
sarah and kie went off to find jj and john b, not wanting to be too far from them which left you, cleo, and pope in the small sitting area to hold down the fort.
“hey! let me out! audrey! sarah!” your head suddenly snapped towards the door across the room that led to the room rafe was being kept in
you couldn’t leave him in there all alone, there was no telling how scared he was trapped in there having no idea what was going on. only being able to feel the way the boat thrashed back and forth.
pope, recognizing the look on your face after so many years of friendship immediately shook his head in protest.
“no! no, audrey you can’t let him out!” pope reached for you but you shrugged him off as you ran towards the kitchen area
“audrey! come on, girl! don’t!” cleo exclaimed
“i can’t just leave him there to die! he’s the father of my child, and i still love him. i’m sorry!” you gave them an apologetic look before grabbing a knife out of the sink and running tot he door ignoring your friends shouts from behind you
your legs shook from the effort it took to stay on your feet, the boat rocked back and forth harshly as the enormous waves tossed them around like a pinball.
you practically busted down the door and fell against the sink, somehow miraculously you managed to not stag yourself in the process. rafe was pulling on his restrains and you saw water had already leaked into the room making your eyes widen.
“baby, cut me loose.” rafe broke you out of your trance
“i got you.” you rushed over to him and cautiously began cutting the ropes
“careful!” rafe scolded when you accidentally nicked the skin on his forearm
“i’m trying! just, stay still i’ve never done this before!” you fired back
finally you were able to cut through the ropes and rafe waisted no time pulling you into his arms holding you tightly. you melted into his chest, momentarily forgetting the terror of the situation.
“thank you.” rafe sighed into your hair
“i’d never leave you.” you mumbled squeezing his waist
the two of you pulled away and looked at each other, silently promising to have a long conversation, when you weren’t battling a dangerous storm of course.
“i need to get to john b. sarah’s with him, come on!” you abruptly pulled away, now that you knew rafe was ok you had to find your brother
you ran out of the door hearing rafe curse before following behind you, calling your name. the unfortunate thing was that to get up to the cabin from your position you had to first go across the deck.
the wind was so strong it almost knocked you off your feet as you stepped onto the deck, the rain pelted down onto you mixed with the water that had been sloshed over the edge of the boat.
“john b!” you exclaimed, shielding your eyes as you tried to walk forward
“audrey!” john b yelled with wide eyes as he took in your small figure in the storm he, followed by sarah, jj, and kie rushed out onto the upper deck right outside the cabin.
just as you made a move towards them a large wave came out of no where and slammed into the side of the boat knocking you to the ground. your skin scuffed against the ground and you yelped at the feeling of a jagged piece of metal slashing your hip.
rafe had just burst onto the deck when he saw you on the ground, as he was about to run to you he heard sarah scream your name.
“audrey!” sarah screamed in horror as the lightning in the sky revealed a monster wave approaching them
you screamed, knowing there was no way you’d be able to make it to safety in time and tried your best to clutch onto something. before you knew it you felt your body being hit hard by a wall of water, sending you skidding across the ground. your hands slipped and slid as you tried to grab onto something, but it was no use as you felt yourself suddenly falling off the back of the boat.
you didn’t even have time to scream as you’re body collided with the harsh and unforgiving ocean water, your body was pulled underwater by the rough current. you had been swimming in the ocean your whole life, yet you had never experienced something quit like this before.
it felt like there were hands gripping your body trying to keep you underwater, but you fought as hard as you could. when you were finally able to break the surface you did so with a big gasp, eagerly sucking in air as you fought against the waves.
“help! rafe! john b! jj!” you screamed thrashing in the water
when rafe saw you fall overboard his heart stopped and it was like his body was in autopilot. he ran forward and grabbed the lifebuoy that was hanging on the side of the boat.
sarah locked her teary eyes on her brother, her heart pounding out of her chest at the thought of losing her best friend, and now she sees rafe holding the lifebouy and knows exactly what is going through his head.
“rafe!” sarah yelled not wanting to lose someone else
rafe didn’t hesitate, his mind already made up as he ran to the end of the boat.
“audrey! i’m coming!” rafe yelled before diving into the water
the pogues watched in terror as the two disappeared from their sight, john b dropping to his knees in agony at the potential loss of his sister. the only family he had left. while sarah was in the same position, you were her best friend and now sister in law and rafe was the only family she had left and she had just lost them both.
rafe gasped as he broke the surface, holding onto the bouy tightly he looked around frantically trying to spot you when he saw you clinging to a piece of wood.
“audrey!” rafe yelled before swimming towards you
your head snapped up when you heard rafe’s familiar voice and couldn’t help but sob in relief as you saw him swimming towards you.
“rafe!” you started swimming to meet him halfway
when you were within arms reach, rafe pulled you into his arms and held you against him and the bouy as tight as he could. you cried as you clung to him and rafe tried his best to push his fear aside for your sake.
“you came for me. you came for me.” you gasped kicking your legs to stay above the water
“i’ll always come for you. always. it’s going to be ok, baby. just don’t let go.” rafe demanded and you nodded
the storm raged around you and the boat disappeared from your sight, nothing around but the vast stretch of the ocean leaving you with nothing but fear and anxiety. but at least you had rafe, you knew he would do whatever he could to protect you and that’s what kept you going as the two of you clutched onto each other tightly and rode out the storm.
the first thing you recognized was how quiet it was around you, the next was the body laying beside you. you blinked your eyes open and coughed feeling some of the water you inhaled trickle out of your mouth. hands grabbed your face and you blinked up to see rafe’s soaked face hovering above you.
“there she is, wake up for me baby.” rafe sighed in relief as he pulled you into his arms
“are we alive?” you asked clutching onto his arm
“yeah baby, we’re alive. we’re ok.” rafe chuckled kissing your forehead
you sighed leaning against him lazily, as exhaustion filled your aching body. you have no idea how the two of you survived the storm, but you were grateful.
“you saved my life.” you looked up at rafe with teary eyes before grabbing his hand and placing it on your stomach. “you saved us both.”
rafe felt his emotions overpower him as a lone tear slid down his cheek, it was just now hitting him how much he had to lose. if he had been even a second too late he would have lost you. he would’ve lost you and the baby.
he had spent so much time being an idiot, being a terrible person when he could’ve spent that time loving you. no more, he made that vow to himself right in that moment. he made a promise to himself that he would do right by you and this baby, nothing else mattered. not money or kooks vs pogues, nothing. only you and the future the two of you had together with your child.
“i will always save you. i love you so much, audrey, and i and so sorry for the way i have treated you. for the way i have treated your friends. for everything. this has made me realize that you are the most important thing to me in the world and i am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you and to our child. if you give me a chance, i swear to you that i will be the best man i can be.” rafe cradled your face in his hands
as you looked into his eyes you saw nothing but love and sincerity, and it was what you had been wanting from him for as long as you can remember. seeing him in this moment you know how serious he is and after he literally risked his life to save you, you know that he is the one.
“i love you too, rafe. i want to be a family.” you leaned your forehead against his nudging his nose with yours
“i want that too. more than anything.” rafe said before leaning forward and connecting your lips
in that moment you knew that no matter what came out of this new treasure hunt that you would always have rafe by your side and that your child would grow up with a father. and that’s all you could hope for.
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cillians-sweetheart · 2 days ago
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hi would you maybe do a fic of taking care of a sick cillian but he’s very stubborn at first as he doesn’t want the reader looking after him but eventually becomes to ill ans has to be tucked up in bed and taken care of? Just think he’d be adorable sneezing and stuff haha
Yesss I did my best, I hope you like it <33
Sick and Stubborn - Cillian Murphy
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Sick!Cillian(36) x Wife!Reader(25)
Plot: mostly what the request had asked for (Y/N see’s her husband has become sick and she wants to comfort him and cuddle him but he just wants to be alone and pout, until eventually he learns the real healer of illness.)
Content: fluffy wife x husband, cillian’s kinda whiny, kind of an age gap
The irritating buzzing of my alarm woke me suddenly. I with no energy reached for my phone to turn off the ringing. As the room became silent once again, I slowly turned myself to my husband’s freckled, bare back. My hand gently caressed his smooth skin and reached over his torso, and I brought my face in close to his neck.
”Cillian hunny… wake up.” I whispered to him.
He groaned and moved just slightly. “No…” He whined like a child.
“Come on.”
He mumbled, “I don’t feel good…”
“What’s wrong?” I asked, delicately laying a kiss on his neck.
”My head hurts.” He said with congestion in his hoarse voice. I reached my hand from his warm stomach to his even hotter forehead.
“Oh hunny… Do you want me to stay home with you?” I said to him, In a motherly tone, hoping he would want me to stay home all day and baby him. It was definitely what I’d rather do than work.
“No.”
”Are you sure?”
”Yes. I’m fine.”
I lingered close to him for just a few seconds longer before slowly getting out of the wam bed. I walked to the bathroom that had been in our room to clean myself up. The door was kept open and every minute my eyes would glance over at my husband lying ill in our bed.
I had work to do, but deep down I felt guilt for leaving him. He could hardly breath and probably had a temperature of over 100°.
All I wanted to do was cuddle him and coat his face in tender kisses. But of course he’d never want that no matter how sick he was. Being babied by his wife wasn’t very ‘manly’ of him, and surely it didn’t boost his ego.
I finished putting my hair up, and adding light bits of makeup to my face. Cillian was still curled up beneath the covers quietly sniffing his every breath.
Coming around to his side of the bed, I kneeled next to him and saw his face had grown paler. I gently moved bits of fallen hair from his hot forehead and felt my heart sink at his suffering. There wasn’t any way that I would be leaving him here. Whether he liked it or not.
“I’m gonna stay home today. You don’t seem well enough to be alone.”
”I’m fine.” He groaned again.
”I’m still staying.” I stood and walked around the bed to the door. “And you’re having tea.”
I went to the kitchen and made a tea and grabbed every type of cold and fever medication I could find. And soon enough I was back upstairs next to my complaining husband.
“Take these.”
“No, I’m fine.” He mumbled hiding himself beneath the duvet
“Cillian you’re not gonna feel better unless you try.” He didn’t respond but just moaned in discomfort.
Clearly the pain in his head is getting worse, along with his fever. I took a deep breath and sat onto the bed beside him and set the hot cup of steaming tea into the nightstand. “I just want you to feel better.” I leaned down and kissed his face, moving his hair back. He squirmed and mumbled.
“I’m fine…” he said yet again.
“You keep saying that sweetheart so I do not believe you.” I kissed his head once more.
“Just let me sleep.” He sniffled and cleared his congested throat.
I watched as his eyes closed and he lied deep into the pillow with obvious discomfort.
“Okay… well… Do you want me to cuddle with you?”
“No no I’m okay” he turned to his back and held his head.
Eventually after staring at him hoping he’d finally let me cuddle with him, I got up and left him alone to sleep. Our home office was just down the hall so I went to finish my write up for work.
While working I stayed focused for the most part but would feel bits of worry for Cillian. I still just wanted to lay with him and kiss him until he’s better. So stubborn but so handsome he is.
After an hour I issued he had fallen back asleep and hopefully healed. And every now and then I’d hear his sneezes and coughs muffled through the walls.
Midway through my report his voice finally called out to me from down the hall. I quickly stood from my chair and down to our bedroom. Cillian was still lying on his back and the sickness on his face seemed to have grown worse.
“Yes, what is wrong hunny?” I quickly walked to the side of the bed to him and held his hot checks in my hands.
“Can you get me some tissues? Please..” He said sweetly looking up at me with his glistening blue eyes.
It wasn’t what I was expecting but I did say I’d get or do whatever he needed.
“Of course.” I took the tissues from the bathroom and laid them onto the nightstand. “Are you feeling any better?” I asked softly. Cillian shook his head, slowly. “Okay… well I’ll be just down the hall.” I went to leave him be, opening and lightly closing the door behind me. But as I walked throughout the halls his voice called out to me once again. I turned and opened the door. Again. “Yes?”
“Come here…” he groaned with an increased pain in his voice. I closed the door and crawled onto my side of the bed and to him. I laid next to him and rubbed my hand along his chest.
He didn’t say anything but took the hand from his hand and held it over my back. I sunk into his touch and leaned up to lay gentle kisses to his face. His head fell against my lips and his eyes closed.
“Did you take that medicine?” I whispered, holding my lips to his hair.
“No…”
“And yet you wonder why you aren’t feeling any better” I chuckled. “Oh.. I love you”
“I love you…”
“I know you do hunny.” I ran my fingers gently through his hair. “Are you still against my cuddles?”
Cillian laid thinking for a moment, longer than I expected, before finally, “No no…”
“Good, because in the end I would’ve whether you liked it or not.” I giggled giving him a sweet kiss on the lips. “Let’s just have a nap okay… you need some sleep sweetheart.” I pulled the duvet up over his chest.
He nodded in desperate need for real, painless sleep. And with someone to hold and love, he could do that.
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cre8inghavoc · 3 days ago
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Can't help it...
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Part 9
inumaki x f!reader
pairing: inumaki x f!reader
summary: Transferring to a new school is tough, but having your three best friends there makes it easier. Things get even more interesting when you start falling for the mysterious boy who rides his motorcycle to school every day. What will happen next?
genre/warnings: [18+] Characters are aged up. Story contains cursing, new friends, alcohol, college!au, no curse!au, dark humour, SMAU and written parts, fluff, smut.
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Inumaki's POV:
I’ve been staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours now, and I don’t understand why I can’t sleep. I mean, I’ve always had issues with sleeping—insomnia’s been my constant companion for as long as I can remember—but I thought it was getting better. This past week, for the first time in years, I actually slept well. It was odd, sure, but I wasn’t complaining.
But tonight? Tonight, it’s back to the old ways.
Back to no sleep.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I glanced over at the clock.
4 a.m.
Great.
Should I even bother going to school later? Maybe I should just skip. But then… I wouldn’t see y/n.
Fuck.
The thought of not seeing her tomorrow... or today, technically... made my chest tighten in a way I didn’t want to think too much about. I let out another frustrated sigh and turned my head to look at my phone on the nightstand. For a moment, I just stared at it, my mind running through all the reasons why texting her at this hour would be a terrible idea.
She’s probably asleep. You’ll wake her up. She’ll think you’re being annoying. Just leave her alone.
But then again… what if she’s awake too? What if she’s thinking about me the way I’m thinking about her right now?
Before I could overthink it anymore, I grabbed my phone, my thumb hesitating over the keyboard. I typed out a message and stared at it for a second, debating whether or not to hit send.
This is stupid. She’s not awake. You’ll look like an idiot.
But my thumb pressed send before I could talk myself out of it.
Hey… you up?
I tossed my phone on the bed beside me and ran a hand over my face, already regretting it. But now all I could do was wait.
Honestly, I was kind of hoping she would respond. It’s not like I can sleep, so maybe talking to her would help. But at the same time… I kind of hope she doesn’t even see my message. Because… what if I’m being too much?
What if she sees it, rolls her eyes, and thinks I’m just some guy who can’t get a grip? Someone who’s bothering her at 4 a.m. for no reason?
I sighed, staring at the faint glow of my phone screen as it sat on the bed next to me. What was I expecting? That she’d magically be awake, texting back right away? And if she did… what would I even say?
Hey, I can’t stop thinking about you?
Yeah, right. That would go over well.
I shook my head, feeling the frustration bubble up in my chest. Why was she in my head so much? Why couldn’t I just… let it go? Ignore it? Pretend I wasn’t thinking about the way she looked at me earlier, or the way her voice shook just a little when she was mad?
I groaned softly, rolling over onto my side and staring at the phone again. One minute passed. Then another. The screen stayed dark, and the silence stretched on. Maybe this was for the best. Maybe it was better if she didn’t answer.
Because if she did… I wasn’t sure what I’d say next. Or worse, what I’d admit.
But then, to my surprise, my phone buzzed.
I blinked, staring at it for a moment as if I’d imagined the notification. The screen lit up, her name glowing back at me. My heart skipped a beat, and I hesitated before picking it up, as if seeing her response would somehow make this real.
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WARNING: SMUT (18+ ONLY) & HEAVY FLIRTING/TEASING
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A/N
things are getting veryyy spicy now 👀
hope you enjoyed this little tease
im so sorry this took so look... it was very unexpected ive just been extremely busy and honestly haven't had the energy to write much
yes this is very short butttt i kinda just want some of yalls opinion on this... like would you actually wanna read the smut (next part)
ik its late ASF BUT ENJOY IT PLEASE OR ELSE ILL CRY FR
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TAG LIST <3
@madaqueue @mikko-mikko @arabella0001 @swarachxle @s3ns4ti0n4l @jdgfsgdgdvf @tomikixd @arabella0001 @emotionalasf @unofficialsapphire @miowxh @hansl0ver @miowxh
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marimayscarlett · 2 days ago
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I seem to be haunted a bit by bad luck on here - prepared an answer for an ask yesterday, but instead of posting it, Tumblr swallowed the ask and it's nowhere to be found. Since I always type my answers in a Word document, I still have it and answer it in a proper post. The ask was signed with "RZK obsessor", so if that's you, here's your answer to your ask 🔎 which was something along the lines of:
Anon: Can you confirm the existence of RZK?
Hi 👋
Now ☝ Getting to the bottom of this kind of fundamental question does require a bit of a planned approach and care. So, at the start of the research process, one should ask which approach and research path to take when tackling this question: the philosophical route, the one of scientific research, or perhaps one's own wealth of experience? I’d say, let’s just go with all three.
Philosophical thoughts on the existence of our beloved Richard
From a philosophical standpoint, one must first ask - are we dealing with Richard as a tangible, real entity, or is this a collection of idealized versions of fundamental concepts? Wishful and idealistic projections designed to show just how diverse a single individual can be? Included in this are the epitome of confident presence on stage:
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the audaciously good looks in every kind of stage outfit, be it leather, dramatic coats, feathers or questionable sleeves (wet or not):
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and the efortless serving of rock star attitude, no matter how tight the clothing:
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as well as exuding the most cozy vibes in rather eyebrow-raise-inducing attire:
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Richard embodies so many concepts in one person that it’s hard to believe such traits can coexist in a single individual - perhaps Richard is Schrödinger's guitarist? Simultaneously existing and not existing, until you see him live and promptly lose all sense of composure...
2. Scientific research and evaluation of existing data on the topic of the existence of Richard
Like any good scientist, one must disclose the sources used and where one has gained knowledge and insights in order to report on their research in a credible manner.
To get to the bottom of the question of Richard’s existence, I have spent nearly the last 10 years meticulously studying every music video and their corresponding making ofs to the point where I can recite every line by heart (even the ones that make me want to sink into the ground out of secondhand embarrassment - "so ein Gesäuge", I’m looking at you). I went to the cinema three times to analyze Richard's presence on the big screen, absorbed recordings of live performances to examine and cross-reference his alluring movements on stage, and created a seven-page long table in Word to organize his interviews by date and topic, tracking his statements and quotes - I mean, quotes like the following have to be proof that this man exist, who else could express things like that so calmly, right?:
Every fur frog tastes different. Pure question of taste. There is no judgment in the text. We’re not saying it stinks.
I believe the music itself must be the king, but I want to be the queen.
The result of this research so far: Things are looking pretty good that Richard actually exists! But I understand what you mean - sometimes it’s hard to believe that this person truly walks, no, struts among us on this earth.
That’s why I had no choice this year but to take my research to the active side of things. Which brings us to:
3. The fan experience as a way to proof his existence once and for all - with my own two eyes
Even though we have countless recordings at concerts of him, from the 90's:
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to the 2000s:
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all the way into the 2010's:
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to today:
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it’s still hard to truly grasp that he exists in flesh and blood. Even I sometimes catch myself looking at pictures of him and thinking, “Wow… he actually exists! He’s real!”, fascinated anew every single time.
This year, as part of my research, I was fortunate enough to practice my research in the Feuerzone three times, and I must say: the moment Richard stepped onto the stage, I was often left speechless. He has an incredibly majestic presence, very focused and fully immersed in his role as the serious rock star - with moments of warmth (towards his band mates) and small glimpses into his thoughts (the annoyed look he gave in Dresden when he forgot his pyro arm for DRSG was so expressive; he rolled his eyes so hard, he surely could see into his brain). I was utterly captivated and thoroughly enjoyed watching him play and use iconic gestures (like during Du hast 👆☝✋👉), and to witness his presence and mannerism live on stage really was a highlight for me. Here's some of my research footage (grainy and shaky, and please be aware of me screaming, but all in the name of science):
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After this intense period of dedicated research, I can confidently say: You don't confirm Richard's existence - you witness and experience it 😌
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calitears · 1 day ago
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𐙚 be my angel
“they say it's me, that makes you do things you might not have done”
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megumi x reader • birthday fic
word count: 1,141
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Unboxing the small cake from the cardboard box that had held it, you carefully slid it out, turning it by the edges of plate. You smiled at the final result of the order you had placed last week, dark chocolate cake with the least sweet option of frosting the bakery offered, the baker really out did themselves. The next step was to unbox the candles, the white 2’s with a dark blue outline, and carefully placing them on the cake, making sure the words ‘happy birthday megumi’ spelt in navy blue jelly didn’t get messed up.
Today was your boyfriend’s 22nd birthday, and coincidentally just so happened to be your first year anniversary. It was hard to believe an entire year had already passed by since the night you accidentally confessed to him at the ‘surprise’ birthday party Yuji had thrown for him.
That night Megumi had already known about his best friend’s scheme, and it honestly crossed his mind to avoid it. But at the end of the day, it was you who convinced him to attend. It was always you to drag him along anywhere and everywhere.
When you first met him, could compare Megumi to the personification of melancholy. You know your love hasn’t had an easy life, which you assumed is why you almost always saw him thinking off into space, refreshing his mind of happy memories, yet what seemed to be a sad longing. That was just the way he was. You would learn he didn’t find joy or interest in much materialistic things, instead he’d seek comfort and reassurance in actions and words. And slowly, you introduced him to the idea of touch as a love language.
Experiencing something new and so nice in the present, maybe helped him move forward from the past.
People often considered you the most affectionate in the relationship, you’d hear teasing comments come from his friends, Yuji or Nobara, about how it was always you to initiate anything between you guys. It was always you who forced him to be included. The thought that maybe you loved him more than he did you had crossed your mind before.
But you knew that wasn’t true. Because Megumi Fushiguro wasn’t the type to love empty. He would do acts of service, he would repay people he felt he owed, even when he didn’t. In his mind, if someone was injured or hurt due to something he could’ve prevented, even when he had no responsibility too, he owed them.
Yet one thing he’d never do, is give his heart as a form of payment. And so you thanked whatever religion out there for the ability to be able to love a man that loved you harder. Because there was no one else he would spend hours into the night talking to, there was no one else he’d surrender his body too, no one else that he would put aside his own opinions for and buy whatever material thing you wanted, no one else he’d turn his casual acts of service into romantic gestures for, and no one else he whispered ‘i love you’ to while drifting off to sleep.
And yet knowing this you always feared he’d leave you, not for another woman, but for the dark reality that existed outside of your relationship. The thoughts that plagued his mind if you let him sink that far deep into his own head. But you swore exactly one year ago, when he had for the first time in his life spilled his heart out to someone, to you, when you both had wandered away from the party, that you wouldn’t ever let him drown. You wouldn’t let him be lonely, and so that’s why you try so hard to include him, to fit him in.
You placed the gifts you had gotten your boyfriend next to the cake on the table. A wrapped vinyl he had been eyeing every time you wandered past the record shop, a bag of books you knew had been on his reading list for ages that he himself probably forgot about, and a pendant you had carefully chosen out for him, the main reason being the stone matched his eyes almost perfectly.
Just as you stepped back you heard the front door of your apartment open, signalling your boyfriend’s arrival. After choosing to celebrate your anniversary earlier in the day, you planned him to come over at the end to celebrate his birthday. Making whatever excuse to have a buffer of time between to be able to pick up his cake, and bring out his gifts.
Megumi was surprised at the sight of the set up, his heart skipping a beat at just the idea of you taking a moment to appreciate him. He was almost startled when you moved next to him and held onto his arm.
“happy birthday ‘gumi….”
Megumi looked at you, his eyes meeting yours and his lips twitching into the small smile you had grown to recognize.
“…thank you.”
You smiled back at him, tugging his arm and pulling him over to the table, sitting him down in the chair in front of the cake. Megumi letting out a short amused huff watched as you picked the lighter off the table, and quickly lit the ‘22’ candles placed on top of it.
“…make a wish!”
The smile was still spread across his lips, before he blew gently, mainly to amuse you. You ruffled his hair in response, before wrapping your arms around his shoulders and placing your chin on the top of his head.
“what’d you wish for?”
“can’t say.”
You huffed playfully, placing a small kiss on the top of his head, “Why?”
Megumi wasn’t superstitious, in fact he didn’t really have any sort of beliefs like that at all, but even then he would admit that he wouldn’t risk anything to have his wish not come true. Because he couldn’t handle if you loving him forever didn’t become a reality.
“‘cause then it won’t come true…”
You laughed, before reaching out to the cake and scooping frosting on your finger only to smudge it on his face. He huffed and pouted, only to immediately return the favor, turning around and smudging frosting acrossing you cheek.
Both letting out a quiet laugh as you pulled out the chair next to him and sat down, scooping up frosting on your finger again, but this time smudging it on his lips, only to lean in and clean them through a kiss.
The taste of Megumi and the slight sweetness of the frosting was intoxicating, and when he pulled back first, gently cupping your face, the glint in his eyes made you understand he was more than happy.
“happy birthday angel,” you whispered, wiping the leftover frosting off the tip of his nose.
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