#So I did not like Harvey at all 👿

[letthefairyinyoufly]

So I was todays years old when I discovered that fandom likes Harvey like way way more than Josh 😁

[the-acid-pear]

Actually. I'm going to be autistic on main. Because a whole liveblog review and many many posts are not enough. I need to stress just how impactful this scene was on a first blind watch.

Because, like, it's not just the fact they cut a hole on that old man to fuck him thru. It's everything about this movie and its framing that's insane.

Because let's be honest this franchise alone is a fucking ride. First movie is some pretty solid horror slow burn carried by my cancelled wife Dr. Josef Heiter played by Dieter Laser who's just so dramatic and entertaining there'd be no human centipede without him.

And it kinda shows on the sequel that removes the more... What's the word? Modest style of the first movie? And instead it goes for a darker more explicit more grossThey step on a newborn's head. He wrapped barbed wire around his cock. He even had a tragic and explicitly explained backstory. It's gross it's gritty it's mental and it's NOTHING like the first.

So okay, so far we got a serious but self aware movie, a "fuck the haters" edgy movie, and so you walk into the third movie not knowing what to expect. But you're soon greeted by the fact that the man himself is BACK and by god does he carry the movie again. Mostly, Butler Dwight played by Laurence R. Harvey does a great fucking job too I love that shortstacksorry I.

Anyway, needless to say this shit is a ride. Because these movies are constantly changing protagonists and settings to be meta about the prequels not being real somehow idk idc so you're thrown into this movie like you're thrown into a blender. I mentioned Butler but I did not mention Bill Boss the titular Old Man who, well, not quite yet. Because first we gotta be introduced to just how deranged this man is. If you thought the literal fucking former Nazi was insane and evil wait til you meet the average American citizen who just a few minutes into the movie waterboards a man with boiling water in very nasty graphic and maybe questionable veracity though I'd have to confirm I don't know if water causes 3rd degree burns or if just like I've heard actually happens kinda boils you alive and makes your skin fall off anyway why am I going into this tangent? Because this is a 100% medically accurate film anyway Bill Boss? He's batshit insane.

I still get upset when I remember that case btw the guy who got boiled alive ironically happened in a prison too I hate the prison system. Literally makes me sick.

But anyway. I don't even remember the chronological order of events but there's so much shit that happens that gets you not only introduced but entranced and if you're anything like me utterly lustful for this man such as: him panting w his tongue out while getting head in front of his accountant; him castrating a man (graphic) and rubbing his bald head w the man's blood; him eating not only dry clitorises but also the cooked testicles of former man. And also one of the funniest and best done scenes in the film where there's a false alarm and he thinks the prisoners are fucking coming for him so he goes from this ultra violent I'm The Boss Here 👿 large ham fucker to a literal mess hiding in his desk utterly terrified while his accountant is just like Dude.

But so far, the picture is Holy fuck nearly car crash near my house So far the picture is pretty clear! Large ham he talks the big talk he bosses everyone around he thinks he's a big deal but when left to fend off for himself he's but a sad pathetic mess of a man that can't do shit to save his life.

Which does, literally prove to be true. As he find himself alone now suddenly surrounded by all the men he has been torturing for god knows how long and they don't say a word they don't do anything but get closer as he gets increasingly worried and stars saying that they're all free! No paper work! No nothing! They can just go! He's BEGGING them to go because he KNOWS they're gonna fucking kill him if not, even saying that he has a heart condition and diabetes (epic callback to Heiter btw) as he gets on his fucking knees which is an insane thing to do in this setting but, hey.

And when you spell it out like this you'd say Luly What Is Wrong With You That Sounds Horrifying and well it is if I fucking say it like that but when you're watching unstopped this sequence of this guy being batshit insane screaming and torturing people and shit to have the tables turn on him so drastically is, extremely exciting.

And then the guy who lost his balls, remember him? He's the one to step forward. And this is something that has been said by the prisoners since the very start of the movie this was a ticking time bomb but he, and I quote, "not gonna fuck his stinky ass. Instead, [he]'ll fuck him in his soft kidney tissue". And then he fucking stabs him.

And by god does he fuck him in his soft kidney tissue as the crowd excitedly chants and I get so hard I turn grey from lack of blood in any other part of my body. And this is something I always mention but bro, bro by the love of god he says "do you like that, daddy?" as he's pounding his kidney bro. Like for the love of god Tom Six PLEASE. FUCK.

I seriously wonder if I'll ever witness something in cinema that gets me to change my bio. Impossible to know too since part of the joy was that by god I was not expecting our villain protagonist who on his own was a fucking surprise bc the way these movies work getting fucked in the soft kidney tissue. Like my fucking god. I'm sorry I lied about rewatching that movie today I know I should have it's literally so fucking good. Thank you Tom Six.

[cavemanfeet]

I don't know who wrote this.

It would be HILARIOUS if it weren't so freaking accurate!! 🤣

Dear Diary 2020 Edition,

In ❄️ January, 🔥 Australia caught on fire. I don’t even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran 🇮🇷 . We might actually still be almost at war with them 🤔. I don’t know, because 👩 Jen Aniston and 👨🏻 Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards 🏆 show and everyone flipped the crap out 😲, but then there was this thing happening in 🦇 🇨🇳 China, then 👑 Prince Harry and Megan ✌🏼 peaced out of the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial 👩‍⚖️ , and then corona virus 🦠 showed up in the US ✔️“officially,” but then 🏀 Kobe died 😭and UK 🇬🇧 peaced out of the European Union.

In February, 🌽 Iowa pooped 💩 itself with the caucus results and the president was acquitted and the 👩🏼‍💼Speaker of the House took ten. Whole. years. to rip up a speech , but then The👨‍🔬 🌎WHO decided to give this virus a name COVID-19, which confused 🤔some really important people 👔 in charge of, like, our lives, into thinking there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty👨🏻‍⚖️, and 🇺🇸 Americans started asking if Corona beer 🍺 was safe to drink🤦🏻‍♀️, and everyone on Facebook became a doctor 👨‍⚕️ who just knew the 🤒flu like killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18.

In March, stuff hit the fan👿. Warren dropped out of the presidential race and Sanders was like Bernie or bust 💥, but then Italy 🇮🇹 shut its whole country down 🚷, and then COVID Not 1 through 18 officially become what everyone already realized, a 😱pandemic and then a nationwide state of emergency 🆘was declared in US 🇺🇸 , but it didn’t really change anything, so everyone was confused or thought it was still just a flu 💁🏻‍♀️, but then COVID Not 18 was like ya’ll not taking me seriously? 💡 I’m gonna infect the one celebrity everyone loves and totally infected Tom Hanks👨🏻, get y’all to close all of the schools so y’all can 🙏🏼 appreciate teachers 👩‍🏫 for once (because you can’t teach them anything other than how to use a touch screen🤦🏻‍♀️ ) close down all of salons so you can’t get your 💇‍♂️ hair or your nails done💅 , everyone had to work from home and attend Zoom meetings in their underwear. The 📉 DOW took a crap 💩 on itself, and most of us still don’t understand why the stock market is so important or even a thing 🤔 (I still don’t), We were then all introduced to 🐅 Tiger King and the ONE thing we can all agree on this year , 👍🏼Carol totally killed her husband⚰️ ..... whacked him! And then Netflix was like you’re welcome, and we all realized there was no way we were washing our hands enough in the first place because all of our hands are now dry and gross and were all searching for lotion now.

In 🌧 April, Bernie finally busted✌🏼 himself out of the presidential race 🏃 , but then NYC 🗽became the set of The Walking Dead 💀 and we learned that no one has face masks 😷, ventilators, or toilet paper, or THE FREAKING SWIFFER WET JET LIQUID , and by now our 🦁outgrowth is showing, so there’s a shortage on 📦 box hair dye and all of our hair dressers are like , 😱 NO DONT DO IT!!! But, then Kim Jong-Un died, but then he came back to life … or did he? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released 🎥 videos of UFOs and nobody cared, and we were like man, it’s only April….

In 💐 May, the biblical end times kicked off , historical locust swarms, we learned of murder hornets 🐝 and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games🙈 however people forgot to let us know. people legit started to protest lockdown measures with 🔫 AR-15s, 🏀⚾️sports events were cancelled everywhere. But then people all over America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and violence. There were 🗣protests in every city🌃 ,which was confusing to some of us because people were definitely gathering in 👫crowds of more than 🖐🏼🤚🏼10 and for sure closer than 6 foot away ⬅️➡️from each other . Those people must have forgotten about the 😖pandemic called COVID Not One Through 18. Media 📺 🗞 struggled with how to 🤬focus on two important things at once, people in general struggle to focus on more than one important thing. A dead whale 🐋 was found in the middle of the Amazon rain forest 🌳 after monkeys 🐒 stole COVID 1 Through 19 from a lab 🔬 and ran off with them, and either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid ☄️ narrowly missed the Earth🌍.

In ☀️ June, common sense just got thrown 🤾🏼 straight out the window and somehow 😷 wearing masks became a 🏛political thing, but then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic, then 👨‍🔬scientists announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass at the center of the earth, and everyone was like 🙅🏽‍♂️🙅🏻‍♀️🚧DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT, but then everyone took a pause to realize that people actually believed Gone With The Wind 💨 was like non-fiction, but then it was also announced that there is a strange 🛰radio signal coming from somewhere in the universe 🌌 that repeats itself every so many days 🗓 , and everyone was like 👽 DON’T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT‼️🚫 but then America reopened 🙌🏼from the shut down that actually wasn’t even a shut down, and so far, things have gone spectacularly .... not that great 👎🏼. All of the Karen’s came out at once, and people started tearing down 🔨 statues. Everyone is on Facebook arguing 🤼‍♀️ about masks 👃🏼, but then Florida 🏖 was like hold my beer 🍺 and let me show you how we’re number one 🥇 in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Coronavirus. Then we learned there was a massive dust cloud ☁️ coming straight at us 📍from the Sahara Desert 🐫 , which is totally normal, but this is 2020, so the 👻 ghost mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud. We then 📚 learned of meth-gators 🐊 , and I'm like that is so not on my flipping 2020 Bingo card 😡 can we use it as the free space?? 🤷🏻 Then we learned that the Congo's worst ever Ebola 🚨 outbreak is over 😓, and we were all like, there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worse ever? 👀 ....... and don’t forget we just discovered FLYING SNAKES! 🐍, seriously! FLYING SNAKES!!!!

So here comes July….Ghislaine Maxwell 👩🚔gets arrested, people 👥 all over America 🇺🇲 continue protests on race issues and violence there were 🗣protests in every city 🌃, Gun violence and shootings 🔫 occuring Across the Country 🌏 but Chicago 🌆 takes the 🎂 on gun violence,

Houston’s Chinese Consulate 🏛 was closed, we ended the month with random seeds 🌱being shipped to the USA 🇺🇲 from China🇨🇳

At the end of July we were over it , just tell us what’s next .... 👽 Aliens? 🔱Zeus? ☄️ Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware? Can it just be something cool 😎 or fun for once? Maybe even a good laugh , like hahaha 😂 April Fools! We all actually wouldn’t mind that joke at this point.

But August is like here I'll show you hold my beer 🍺, Spain’s Former King 🤴 👑 leaves, 2 giant 💥explosion in Beirut 🇱🇧 killing at least 220 👥 people and injuring 7000 more, A 💣grenade in North Cameroon🇨🇲 killed 15👥 people, A Derecho that traveled more than 700 miles (Inland Hurricane) 🌬💨 across 6 midwest States (NE, IA, IL, IN, WI, MI) killed one 🚴‍♂️ in Eastern Iowa and left more than 800,000 👥 without ⚡🔌power and shutting down gas stations ⛽ for miles. And folks we are only 10 days 🗓 in!

Maybe the rest of Aug, Sept, Oct, Nov, and Dec can let us have a break 🏖🌴!

Also, why didn't I know about the whale 🐋🐳 in the Amazon? Or a few other things because I just can’t keep up anymore!

But I’m sharing it because as long as we make it through 2020, I really want this to pop back up in the memories a few years from now!

Copy and share to your page!!!!!

[floridaboiler]

Recap of 2020 thus far . . .

Posting this so it will pop up in my memories for years to come 🤣 (Repost)

Dear Diary 2020 Edition, In ❄️ January, 🔥 Australia caught on fire. I don’t even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran 🇮🇷 . We might actually still be almost at war with them 🤔. I don’t know, because 👩 Jen Aniston and 👨🏻 Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards 🏆 show and everyone flipped the crap out 😲, but then there was this thing happening in 🦇 🇨🇳 China, then 👑 Prince Harry and Megan ✌🏼 peaced out of the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial 👩‍⚖️ , and then corona virus 🦠 showed up in the US ✔️“officially,” but then 🏀 Kobe died 😭and UK 🇬🇧 peaced out of the European Union.

In February, 🌽 Iowa crapped 💩 itself with the caucus results and the president was acquitted and the 👩🏼‍💼Speaker of the House took ten. Whole. years. to rip up a speech , but then The👨‍🔬 🌎WHO decided to give this virus a name COVID-19, which confused 🤔some really important people 👔 in charge of, like, our lives, into thinking there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty👨🏻‍⚖️, and 🇺🇸 Americans started asking if Corona beer 🍺 was safe to drink🤦🏻‍♀️, and everyone on Facebook became a doctor 👨‍⚕️ who just knew the 🤒flu like killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18.

In March, stuff hit the fan👿. Warren dropped out of the presidential race and Sanders was like Bernie or bust 💥, but then Italy 🇮🇹 shut its whole country down 🚷, and then COVID Not 1 through 18 officially become what everyone already realized, a 😱pandemic and then a nationwide state of emergency 🆘was declared in US 🇺🇸 , but it didn’t really change anything, so everyone was confused or thought it was still just a flu 💁🏻‍♀️, but then COVID Not 18 was like ya’ll not taking me seriously? 💡 I’m gonna infect the one celebrity everyone loves and totally infected Tom Hanks👨🏻, get y’all to close all of the schools so y’all can 🙏🏼 appreciate teachers 👩‍🏫 for once (because you can’t teach them anything other than how to use a touch screen🤦🏻‍♀️ ) close down all of salons so you can’t get your 💇‍♂️ hair or your nails done💅 , everyone had to work from home and attend Zoom meetings in their underwear. The 📉 DOW took a crap 💩 on itself, and most of us still don’t understand why the stock market is so important or even a thing 🤔 (I still don’t), We were then all introduced to 🐅 Tiger King and the ONE thing we can all agree on this year , 👍🏼Carol totally killed her husband⚰️ ..... whacked him! And then Netflix was like you’re welcome, and we all realized there was no way we were washing our hands enough in the first place because all of our hands are now dry and gross and were all searching for lotion now.

In 🌧 April, Bernie finally busted✌🏼 himself out of the presidential race 🏃 , but then NYC 🗽became the set of The Walking Dead 💀 and we learned that no one has face masks 😷, ventilators, or toilet paper, or THE FREAKING SWIFFER WET JET LIQUID , and by now our 🦁outgrowth is showing, so there’s a shortage on 📦 box hair dye and all of our hair dressers are like , 😱 NO DONT DO IT!!! But, then Kim Jong-Un died, but then he came back to life … or did he? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released 🎥 videos of UFOs and nobody cared, and we were like man, it’s only April….

In 💐 May, the biblical end times kicked off , historical locust swarms, we learned of murder hornets 🐝 and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games🙈 however people forgot to let us know. people legit started to protest lockdown measures with 🔫 AR-15s, 🏀⚾️sports events were cancelled everywhere. But then people all over America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and violence. There were 🗣protests in every city🌃 ,which was confusing to some of us because people were definitely gathering in 👫crowds of more than 🖐🏼🤚🏼10 and for sure closer than 6 foot away ⬅️➡️from each other . Those people must have forgotten about the 😖pandemic called COVID Not One Through 18. Media 📺 🗞 struggled with how to 🤬focus on two important things at once, people in general struggle to focus on more than one important thing. Monkeys 🐒 stole COVID 1 Through 19 from a lab 🔬 and ran off with them, and either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid ☄️ narrowly missed the Earth🌍.

In ☀️ June, science and common sense just got thrown 🤾🏼 straight out the window and somehow 😷 wearing masks became a 🏛political thing, but then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic, but then decided that not wearing a mask was somehow a ✝️God given right (still haven't found that part in the bible or even in the constitution). then 👨‍🔬scientists announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass at the center of the earth, and everyone was like 🙅🏽‍♂️🙅🏻‍♀️🚧DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT, but then everyone took a pause to realize that people actually believed Gone With The Wind 💨 was like non-fiction, but then it was also announced that there is a strange 🛰radio signal coming from somewhere in the universe 🌌 that repeats itself every so many days 🗓 , and everyone was like 👽 DON’T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT‼️🚫 but then America reopened 🙌🏼from the shut down that actually wasn’t even a shut down, and so far, things have gone spectacularly .... not that great 👎🏼. All of the Karen’s came out at once, and people started tearing down 🔨 statues. Everyone is on Facebook arguing 🤼‍♀️ that masks kill because no one knows how breathing works 👃🏼, but then Florida 🏖 was like hold my beer 🍺 and let me show you how we’re number one 🥇 in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Coronavirus. Trump 👱🏻‍♂️decides now is a good time to ask the Supreme Court 🏛 to shut down ❌Obama Care because what better time to do so than in the middle of a pandemic 💁🏻‍♀️ , but then we learned there was a massive dust cloud ☁️ coming straight at us 📍from the Sahara Desert 🐫 , which is totally normal, but this is 2020, so the 👻 ghost mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud. We then 📚 learned of meth-gators 🐊 , and I'm like that is so not on my flipping 2020 Bingo card 😡 can we use it as the free space?? 🤷🏻 Then we learned that the Congo's worst ever Ebola 🚨 outbreak is over 😓, and we were all like, there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worse ever? 👀 ....... and don’t forget we just discovered FLYING SNAKES! 🐍, seriously! FLYING SNAKES!!!!

So here is July…. at this point we are over it , just tell us what’s next .... 👽 Aliens? 🔱Zeus? ☄️ Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware? Can it just be something cool 😎 or fun for once? Maybe even a good laugh , like hahaha 😂 April Fools! We all actually wouldn’t mind that joke at this point. But No joke.. Kanye West announces he is running for President 😳🗽 but then announces he's bi-polar. 🤔

I’m sharing it because as long as we make it through 2020, I really want this to pop back up in the memories a few years from now.