#Smurph's Birthday Challenge
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Lost and Gain... and Lost Again? (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)
(Not my gif. Credit to the creator)
Author Masterlist
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.
Summary: Reader and Spencer’s bond strengthens after the team receives devastating news. But what happens when that bond becomes an agreement that ends up confusing them more?
Word Count: 10k (Ouch!)
Warnings: MINORS DNI. NSFW. 18+ ONLY. Reference to a character’s death; crying, feelings of regret; mention of nightmares and ideas about drug use (doesn’t happen); mention of wounds and blood (superficial); strong language; penetrative and unprotected sex; oral sex (f and m receiving); fingering; rough sex with chocking; crying after sex; oral and penetrative sex in a public place; voyeurism (from a third person); size kink; gagging. If I forgot something, let me know.
A/N: I wrote this one for Smurph’s Birthday Challenge. Happy birthday, my friend!!!! (a bit late, I’m sorry). If you haven’t read a @smurphyse fic yet, I recommend you do! You’ll find a great writer (Room 405 has the top 1 of my heart). On top of that, one of the best human beings I have had the honor to know. For the challenge, I used the prompt “Get on your knees and show me.” (Category 2); and Choking, Deepthroating, Public sex; Voyeurism; Size Kink (Category 3). Thanks for reading, and keep sending me requests!
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Reader’s POV.
Emily Prentiss is an extraordinary woman. Smart, determined, brave, tough, compassionate, and the best friend you could ask for. But when she faked her death and disappeared for seven months, it started a series of events that hit my life forever.
‘Devastation’ falls short of describing our emotions after getting the news. The team crumbled. Nobody could believe what had happened. Not to our Emily.
I remember being in my apartment crying for days. I barely made it to Emily’s funeral. I was a complete mess.
Hotch granted us time to process, but we didn’t think it would be enough to overcome our loss.
I knew the other team members were grieving Emily’s death too, but I felt it harder. Maybe it was because I had known Emily for eight years back then. We worked together before she joined the BAU.
Two years after she settled there, a suggestion from her to Hotch gave me the chance to join the team. Once me there, we got inseparable.
So you can guess how hard it was to assimilate that you would never see your friend again.
Morgan and Spencer weren’t okay either. Derek leaned on Garcia for support, showing his anger whenever he could. Spencer leaned on JJ in a more reserved way, although he thought JJ couldn’t fully comprehend his pain.
He told me about this feeling when he knocked on my door one night.
“Spencer?” I looked at him, puzzled. It was near midnight.
“Hey,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry I came here like this all of a sudden. I - I thought that -” he trailed off. His hands were shaking, eyes glassed, dark circles under them, and he looked pale. I knew that face. I saw this in myself plenty of times in the last weeks. Nightmares.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. Come in.” I pulled him inside the apartment and led him to sit on my couch.
That night we talked until the sun rose. We talked about everything and nothing. He told me about the nightmares, the headaches, and the cravings. I knew about what happened after Hankel. But never did someone tell me the details, and I didn’t ask. It wasn’t my business.
We never were that close before, but I guess circumstances did the job. Grieving the loss of our friend, we realized that we were struggling in a similar way. So why not lean on each other?
That way, nights like that kept happening in the following weeks. Some days at my place, others in his.
Sometimes we just sat to talk. Other times we watched a movie to turn off our thoughts. We could even sit on the couch without talking and staring at the ceiling in comfortable silence.
Gradually the pain gave us a truce, and the company became nice by itself.
I never thought of Spencer as a close friend, at least not in a sense Emily was, but the time we spent together gave us a chance to get to know each other better. I was pleasantly surprised that we had more in common than I had imagined.
-
We hung out a lot, and we liked it. But there was something more there that I couldn’t explain. Yeah, we could talk, cry, and laugh, but why did it feel like something was missing?
I couldn’t pinpoint what it was until one particular night.
After a messy unsub takedown, Spencer got some cuts and bruises, but he didn’t let the paramedics check on him.
On the flight home, I saw Spencer hiss every time he brushed some spot on his left side.
Spencer-fucking-stubborn-Reid.
When we landed in Virginia, I persuaded him to have dinner and a movie at my place. Secretly I was worried that he would go home without anyone checking on his injuries.
As we put a foot in my apartment, I required him to sit on my couch while I went to get my first aid kit.
“Okay, now let me see those cuts,” I said, inspecting his face as my hand clutched a gauze dipped in alcohol.
“You are being dramatic,” he pointed.
“Oh yeah? Well, prove me wrong then,” I challenged, cleaning one of the cuts on his forehead with the gauze. Spencer hissed at the contact.
“Who’s the dramatic here,” I teased.
Spencer rolled his eyes, knowing I could be as stubborn as he.
“Whatever,” he mumbled.
Once I finished wiping his face, I took another piece of gauze.
“Okay, now let me see your left side.”
“What? Why?”
“I saw how you sizzled whenever you rubbed your left side, Reid. Don’t argue with me.” I instructed. I could see his cheeks turning pink.
With hesitation, Spencer unbuttoned his dress shirt and slid it from his shoulders.
My eyes immediately focused on the scratches on his torso and the dark bruise on his ribs.
“Holy shit Reid. That must hurt,” I said, using the gauze to give attention to his skin.
Then is when I felt it.
A change in the air. It became thick and difficult to ignore. I met Spencer’s eyes, and there was an intensity in them I didn’t see before.
Honestly, I never noticed how beautiful Spencer’s eyes were and how desirable he looked, licking his lips as he watched me methodically sweep the dried blood off his wounds.
Feeling the nearness between us ignited in me a spark I didn’t know was there. When did Spencer’s lips start to look so kissable?
I tried to put that thought in the back of my brain, but touching his skin - even indirectly through a gauze - made it almost impossible.
Chastising myself, I did my best to concentrate on whatever could move me away from my salacious thoughts about my coworker and friend.
‘A Friend. A Friend. A Friend.’ I repeatedly told myself as I finished bandaging the cuts I had just cleaned up.
Little did it help that he was looking at me with those doe eyes.
I wanted to kiss him so bad.
I wanted to fuck him so bad.
I could feel the warmth in a specific spot on my body. My cheeks tinted in dark crimson when I realized what was happening to me.
“Are you o-?” Spencer tried to ask, but before he could finish the question, I silenced him with my lips on his.
I felt Spencer frozen in his spot as I kissed him. Surely he wasn’t expecting that. Neither do I, but I couldn’t help it.
When the senses returned to me, I pulled away.
Shit, I had fucked it up.
Stuttering, I tried to apologize.
“I’m sorry. This was so inappropriate. I - I shouldn’t have done that,” I mumbled, scooting back on the couch and entirely baffled.
Spencer seemed surprised. But something in his eyes told me that he wasn’t upset, quite the opposite. The confirmation came from the very Spencer. Not saying a word, he cupped my cheeks and leaned to kiss me this time.
It didn’t take me long until I let loose and kissed him back.
Quickly our lips started to move frenziedly—all tongues and teeth. The kiss turned heated fast, and our hands began to wander. Just running my fingertips on his bare chest sent shivers down my spine.
Without a second thought, clothes flew from our bodies to land somewhere on my living room floor. I was on Spencer’s lap only minutes later, grinding over his massive erection.
“Fuck,” he muttered. His hands gripped my hips as he bucked up his to increase the friction between us.
Desperately I grabbed his dick to pump it a few times before aligning it to my entrance.
I looked at him, and his full-dilated pupils told me everything I needed to know. He wanted this as much as I did.
Feeling him stretching me was like heaven.
He was big, and his girth perfect enough to have me trembling around him in no time.
That night we fucked on my couch once and two more times in my bed.
I didn’t know if my lack of sexual activity at that time had to do with it, but those were the best orgasms I had had in a long time.
Panting and looking at the ceiling, we agreed not to do it again. It would be weird, and we didn’t want to feel that way at work.
-
But it happened again. And again. And again.
Some people say that when you get the ‘taste,’ there is no return. If I stick to that, Spencer Reid turned out to be my favorite drug those days.
And I had the feeling I had become the same thing to him.
We settled a new agreement: the typical friends with benefits. How cliche is that? It didn’t really matter to me at the time; we needed the release, the sex, and neither he nor I wanted to pursue a romantic relationship. Let alone when it all started as animalistic sex.
Fantastic, marvelous, extraordinary, necessary animalistic sex.
Thanks to Spencer Reid, I got laid considerably more times in three months than in the past years.
Not that I would complain about it, quite the opposite.
The rules - because, of course, we settled rules - were not to tell anyone, keep it as only sex, not stay the night, and not jeopardize our friendship. If any of us suspected this arrangement could put our friendship in danger, we would call it to quit with no resentment.
It seemed pretty easy.
Having clear rules, we used every chance we got to fuck. His place, my place, sneaking to our hotel rooms during cases. Even at work, we had our favorite abandoned office in the basement.
I found out a lot of things during these months. For example, I didn’t know I could be that horny all the time. Okay, thinking better of it, scratch that.
I did know I could be that horny, but kind of I forgot how it felt until then.
What I truthfully didn’t know was that Spencer could be that horny and touch-starved all the time.
You would say the boy genius that doesn’t shake hands avoids any kind of touch. Wrong. He loves it. Spencer adores cuddling after sex. He likes me playing with his hair and drawing soft patterns on his skin with my fingertips.
Could you believe that Spencer Reid is a boob man? I do now. Sometimes, he lays his head on my chest and hums comfortably between my breasts. I’m pretty sure he would do it if he could always use my boobs as pillows.
But all those displays of affection - or lust, if you want to call it - were only reserved for the bedroom. As soon as we left bed, we returned to our traditional roles as friends and coworkers.
It was working for us. And nobody had to know.
-
After Emily ‘died.’ Hotch thought we could be fine without another agent, but Strauss had another opinion. That’s why Alice Brown joined the BAU. Strauss herself brought her directly to the team.
As you can guess, we weren’t very enthusiastic about the decision, but the poor girl hadn’t any fault. Young and inexperienced, Alice came to a team with a fractured heart.
The first one who showed friendly with Alice was JJ, who took her under her wing.
Brown did her best to fit into the team. Not much time passed until Morgan and Penelope warmed up with her. Rossi acted like her loving father and Hotch like an understanding boss.
Spencer, the gentleman he is, was way far nice to her. He usually talked to her about books and facts about our cases and the BAU history.
That’s how Alice seemed welcomed after a couple of weeks.
But with me, things didn’t come easy. I knew the poor girl wasn’t trying to replace Emily. I truly understood that, but for me, something about her didn’t fit. I never was deliberately harsh or not polite to her, but we didn’t get that groove she had with the rest of the team.
I thought it was a matter of time.
But maybe I was wrong.
With Hotch away for months, JJ moving to another division, and Rossi barely present, the job weight laid on the remained team members: Morgan, Garcia, Reid, Brown, and I.
Only four agents in the field made things a little bit rough. Rough enough for me to be irritable very often. The bad thing was that my sour mood tended to land on Alice most of the time.
“Why do you go so hard on her?” Morgan chastised me once Alice ran from the conference room crying after I said something a bit sharp.
“I don’t go hard on her. It’s just she should be in tune by now,” I explained.
“Pretty girl, you already forgot when you joined the team?”
“No, Morgan. Don’t play the sentimental card with me. It’s not going to work,” I warned him. Morgan only shook his head.
“I’m just saying you should be more understanding. That’s all.”
Yeah. Maybe Derek was right.
That’s why I gathered the courage to talk to her and apologize. But when I reached Hotch’s office, where I knew she was, I saw Spencer hugging Alice.
The girl was fully crying with her head buried in Spencer’s chest.
I halted in my tracks. Spencer noticed my presence and gave me a disapproving look.
What? Now everyone blames me?
Huffing, I left the room without saying a word.
I didn’t know what was more upsetting: that people accused me of being a bitch with Alice or that she played the victim role. Because that’s what she was doing. She was in Spencer’s arms, looking for comfort, and the bastard provided it with no question.
How does SHE dare? How does HE dare?
That last thought made my heart stop for a second.
Why was I so apprehensive? Was it because of her nearest to Spencer? No. It couldn’t be.
Spencer was only my friend and my fuck-buddy.
And maybe that was the problem. I didn’t want Alice to steal my friend AND my benefits.
“It’s not - fuck!- it’s not I dislike her,” I managed to say to the man with his head between my legs.
“Yu-shul-be-nice-tho,” Spencer mumbled from his spot as he lapped my clit with his glorious tongue and used his slender fingers to pump them in and out of my pussy.
“I am - Oh my God! - I’m nice to her, really - Spencer! Please! Right there!” I whined.
“No. Yu-not,” Spencer rebutted, muffling his words in my core. Feeling my heavy breathing, he sped his fingers’ movement and sucked on my clit hard. Fuck, I was so close.
“Okay! I’m not, but- would you - fuck! - can we stop talking about our coworker? I’m trying to have an orgasm here!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
-
“Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team. As you know, Emily lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle. But the doctors were able to stabilize her...”
Hotch’s words reverberated in my head as we were in the conference room discussing what to do about Declan’s kidnapping.
‘Stabilize her’? I was still trying to make sense of those words when I saw a ghost at the entrance.
Emily-fucking-Prentiss was alive.
It wasn’t my imagination. I pinched myself to be sure. I locked eyes with Spencer and Morgan, looking for confirmation.
Of the three of us, I was the nearest to faint.
The lack of oxygen made me feel dizzy.
Why didn’t JJ seem surprised? Why Rossi hadn’t the same shocked expression we had?
A lot of those questions were kept on standby as we focused on getting back Declan.
Emily was cautious and didn’t approach anyone just yet.
I worked on autopilot most of the time. I barely spoke a thing in the twenty-four hours the case was open.
After finishing Doyle’s ordeal that night, we returned to the BAU. Emily tried to talk to me, but I ditched her attempt by sneaking into the kitchenette.
I was pouring coffee on my mug for the umpteenth time that day and so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t notice Spencer standing on the threshold.
He cleared his throat but kept silent as he decided what to say.
I spared him the trouble.
“You don’t need to say anything, you know. There are no words to make sense of this.”
Spencer sighed.
“Eventually, we should,” he pointed.
I met his eyes so that he could see the bitterness in my gaze.
“Should we? I was prepared to miss her forever,” I confessed, sensing tears pricking my eyes.
“I guess I was prepared to do that too.”
Spencer didn’t look better than me. His eyes were as glassy as mine. His lips were tightly pressed like he was holding back.
Truth be told, both were holding back emotions.
That’s why when I asked him to help me to unravel, he was quickly in the same boat as me.
That night we fucked harder than we had been doing in the past five months.
We were angry; we felt betrayed, and this was the way we thought could help us to navigate those emotions.
I needed to lose control. I needed to stop thinking, so I gave him the reign of my body and, maybe, something else.
Spencer understood what I was looking for and didn’t waste time. He gave me what I craved.
Dark hickies and bite marks on my skin would prove that the next morning.
“Please, harder!” I begged, clasping his wrist as he put more pressure on my throat. Spencer’s kept his rough thrusts, grunting each time his hips snapped to mine.
“You want me to let you dumb, uh? So fucking needy,” he panted, his pace not faltering.
“Yes! Make me dumb! Use me!” I cried out, feeling the air leaving my lungs. The dizziness was welcoming as I allowed the tears to run free—a mix between the pleasure and the past hours’ pent-up emotions.
I didn’t need any other stimulation to trip over the edge for the third time that night. After a wild scream, I let myself go, clenching my walls and sending Spencer to his own end.
Collapsing on top of me, Spencer hid his face in the crook of my neck as we tried to catch our breath.
But my body started to shake, and sobs left my lips. That alerted Spencer, who immediately pulled out and leaned back to inspect my face.
His concerned hazel eyes met mine. I could see the panic in him.
“Did I hurt you? Was it too rough? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-” he trailed off. I shook my head, resting my palm on his cheek.
“No. No, Spencer. You did nothing wrong. It was amazing, actually. It’s me. It’s just- I don’t know what-” I couldn’t end the sentence because of the lump in my throat.
“Hey,” he mumbled, engulfing me in a tight embrace. It didn’t matter we both were naked and spent; I needed his solace, and he didn’t hesitate to supply it.
Kissing the top of my head and tracing delicate patterns on my back, he took his time to whisper sweet nothings until I calmed down.
It’s weird, but this was the first time I showed myself so vulnerable to him, and it scared the shit out of me.
We leaned on each other when Emily died, but this was different.
Our relationship was different now; even if I didn’t want to admit it, Spencer became an essential part of my life. As a friend. As a confidant. As the man who has seen beyond my defenses and knows me in the most intimate way.
When I regained some composure, Spencer put his boxers on and helped me to reach the bathroom. Then he went to the kitchen to grab me a glass of water and a snack. Once I was dressed in my pajamas and under the covers, he looked at me to ensure I was okay.
“Thank you,” I mumbled, sipping the water.
“You are welcome. Uh- well, I think I should go now? You need to sleep,” he said, hunching to grab his clothes scattered on the floor.
I couldn’t conceal my disappointment, although it was a reasonable thing to do. Our agreement worked like that: Don’t stay the night.
But I wasn’t ready for him to leave.
Maybe I didn’t want him to go ever again.
That last admission wasn’t clear to me at that moment, though.
“Spencer? Would you stay tonight, please?” I asked, my voice small as if I was begging for something forbidden. In some way, it was.
He halted his doing to look at me. I cleared my throat.
“I know it’s not what we agreed on, but I don’t feel I could stay alone now. I’m sorry if-” I stuttered.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain to me. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay,” Spencer offered.
“Thank you.”
Spencer joined me on the bed, wrapping us with the sheets and comforter and switching the lights off.
I fell asleep with my head on his shoulder and arm over his naked torso.
Waking up the following day, the first thing I noticed was the grip of a strong arm around my waist and a soft fan of breath on my shoulder. A warm sensation filled my senses.
Not wanting to wake him up, I slowly turned in bed to find Spencer asleep. He stirred a little but did not wake up. Soft snores escaped his lips. He looked so beautiful sleeping. By far the most attractive man I have ever met.
My stomach clenched as I analyzed the potential consequences of my thoughts.
What was this feeling? Of course, there was infinite gratitude for the best friend I could have found. But a friend who also became your sexual partner? Someone with whom you have been able to experiment, and is willing to please you, just as you would do anything for him to please him?
This was moving to another level.
I was falling in love with Spencer Reid.
Neither Spencer nor I mentioned the morning we woke up together in the days that followed. I assume it was just a one-time thing, and I thought Spencer considered it the same way.
As the cases kept coming, we had no chance to chat about that. So we let it slide.
But I couldn’t get out of my mind the idea there was something more. Was it just me imagining things?
--------------------
Spencer’s POV.
It was the perfect arrangement until it wasn’t.
I must have known that it could happen. I’m not that experienced in that field.
I only kissed a few people in my life.
I had sex just a few times before her.
And non just a few months passed until I broke the rules. At least one of them: no mixed feelings.
We were friends, and we fucked.
That was all.
In theory.
The rule was clear: if we saw this could put in danger our friendship, sex had to end.
But this was more than that for me. And it had been that way for months, yet I didn’t dare to call it to quit.
Having her by my side is the best thing that happened to me. I didn’t know I could fall so deep for someone, but she made it easy.
After the long talks and hanging out a lot, it wasn’t difficult to notice our connection.
But that was a friendship means. Or that is what I thought until we had sex.
God, it was amazing. I didn’t feel like that with anyone before.
What did she do to me?
I thought I had it under control, but I lost the last ounce of self-defense the night he asked me to stay.
How couldn’t I? She was vulnerable and needed someone. A friend. Me.
Watching her in my arms sent me into a spiral of overthinking. I wanted this for the rest of my life, but I would never have the nerve to confess that to her. That would mean I’ll lose her forever.
She didn’t feel the same way I did. Why should I bother then?
Sure, we were attracted, but keeping it physical was the agreement. No other feelings should have been involved.
I screw it up. What do I do now?
It became worse when she started to act a bit cold around me. I mean, not the same friend affection we used to have daily.
God, I was losing her as a friend too, and I couldn’t let that happen.
Two options came to my mind: play it cool or finish the friend with benefits bullshit. I needed to decide something, but I delayed it. Like if things could resolve themselves magically.
She knew something was happening yet didn’t say anything. Instead, she tried to keep it casual.
“What are you doing?” I complained when one afternoon, she dragged me to an abandoned office.
“Hey, relax. I only want a moment alone with you, okay?”
“Somebody could see us!” I scolded. Honestly, it wasn’t an issue in the past five or six months, so why would it be now?
“Don’t be paranoid, Spencer. We are in our usual abandoned office. Nobody walks here. You know that” she reassured me, kissing my jaw, but I was still tense, with my hands to the sides. Hands that, in another time, would be pulling up her skirt to squeeze her delicious ass.
She wrapped her arms around my neck to kiss my lips hungrily. I couldn’t help but gasp, kissing her back and gripping her hips. I was almost lost in the feeling and about to give in until my senses returned.
I rapidly used the grip on her hips to pull her away.
“I think we should come back.”
She frowned and parted entirely from me. I could see the anger rushing in her.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She spat.
Well, I couldn’t tell her truly what was wrong with me, so I tried to play ignorant.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re avoiding me.”
Her voice sounded annoyed and something else that I couldn’t decipher.
“I’m not.”
A lie, of course. Excellent, Spencer Reid.
“Yes, you are. We haven’t fuck in two weeks. You tell me what our statistics are. A week at most?”
I knew that: six days and twenty-one hours. I opted for a nonspecific answer, though.
“Sort of. I guess.”
“Why then? Don’t tell me it’s because of work or anything like that. You know we managed before.”
She was trapping me. Every remark she made was pushing me to tell her the truth. I wasn’t ready for her to know, though.
Maybe I will never be. I needed to escape from there.
“We should end this,” I blurted out.
She frowned again. “End what?”
“This arrangement. It’s not working.”
I saw her demeanor change. I couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was, but my first guess? Hurt. That broke my heart.
“Why? You... You don’t want to be my friend anymore?” She asked. Her voice was small. Why could she think I didn’t want to be her friend anymore? Not in a million years. I would like to be more than that, but I knew it was impossible.
“No! No that! I’m talking about the benefits thing. I - I think we should end that,” I hastened to explain. I prayed she could agree with me without any question. Too much to ask?
She kept silent for a couple of seconds, contemplating her answer. I knew this would happen. I knew that doing this would mess up everything between us. And the people assume I’m a genius. Waste of genius I am.
“So it’s true you found someone else. You want to fuck someone else.”
‘No! I want only to fuck you!’ I wanted to scream, but instead, I repeated myself: ‘Calm down, Spencer. Calm down. Stay focused’.
“I’m trying to keep our friendship, that’s all.”
“So you can fuck someone else. I get it,” she insisted. Why was that so important? I mean, she could have any man in the world to feed that need. I’m not that special.
“It’s not - I mean, not that I - “ I tried to explain, but she cut me off, putting a hand over my shoulder.
“Spencer, it’s okay. I know. She is pretty and a smart girl. Not to mention she’s head over heels for you.”
Now I was confused. Who the hell was she talking about?
“What? You - she, who?”
“Alice. You are talking about Alice. I know.”
Alice? Our colleague Alice? Does she think I want to fuck Alice Brown?
“I’m not thinking-” I stuttered.
She sighed.
“Spencer. I’m so sorry for my outburst. We knew this would happen eventually. One of us would find someone and want to be in a relationship. You have the right to get that,” she said, shedding some tears. I was so confused that I couldn’t determine the real reason for her tears. Was it because she was happy for me? Or because she didn’t feel she deserved the same? Damn, why am I so incompetent at interpreting this kind of thing? Either way, she was giving me a friendly outing. Wasn’t that my initial purpose?
“Thanks,” I mumbled. (Y/N) gave me a tiny smile and kissed my cheek.
“She is lucky, you know? But if she hurt you, I’m going to kill her,” she sentenced before leaving the office.
I would like to say that after that conversation, I was more relieved. I would like to say that it was the best decision I have made in a long time. But I would be lying.
Yeah, we’re still friends, but things were weird between us, though. She avoided me more often, and our conversations were more superfluous than before.
It didn’t help that Alice was always around because when she saw Alice, she definitely stopped talking to me or left the room.
That’s where the jokes started too. Morgan jumped at every chance he got to suggest - in a not subtle manner - how interested Alice was in me. I didn’t think so, but JJ even ventured out once and asked me when I would do something about it.
Little did she know that Alice was not the woman my heart and desires gravitated around.
God, I missed (Y/N) in my arms. But I needed to be strong. Hopes weren’t an option in this case.
And it seems that peace of mind wasn’t an option either. When (Y/N) started flirting with other guys, I felt the blood boiling inside me.
I shouldn’t have felt jealous; I didn’t have any right, but I couldn’t help it. Knowing she could have some of those guys in her bed, the bed I used to be in for a solid six months, made me sick of my stomach.
I didn’t know that part of me—the possessive one. That part that yearned for her and was desperate.
-
Another local case closed, and Prentiss convinced us to go for drinks.
After Emily’s return, it was rough to settle for the idea of having her back, but she managed to coax out of us any resentment we could have, even with (Y/N) and me. We didn’t take pretty well Emily’s fake death. Not after grieving her for months. Of course, rationally, we understood her reasons, but it hurt. It hurt a lot.
But they say time helps, and they are right. At the end of the day, Emily was alive, and slowly we got used to that.
Garcia picked the club this time.
Only Hotch and Rossi were excused for not going.
Instantly Morgan pulled Garcia and JJ to the dance floor, leaving Emily, Alice, (Y/N), and me at the table, sipping our alcoholic drink of preference.
Sitting by my side, Alice laced her arm with mine, leaning her head over my shoulder.
“I’m so exhausted, Spence. This case was so draining!” Alice sighed. I returned a hum in response, more focused on how she clutched my arm. When I shifted my gaze to (Y/N), she quickly averted her eyes from me. In a matter of seconds, she stood and strolled to the dance floor, joining Morgan, Garcia, and JJ.
Emily narrowed her eyes as she realized something.
“Alice?” Prentiss asked. The girl looked at her with full attention. “Can I ask you something from the bar? I would go to bring it myself, but I don’t want to be abducted by Morgan.”
Convinced enough, Alice complied and headed to the bar.
“Okay, what the fuck is going on between you and (Y/N)? Or should I say between you and Alice?” Far from Alice’s eardrops, Emily asked immediately.
“Nothing.”
“Spencer, I’m not stupid. (Y/N)’s behavior with Alice around? Your eyes on her?”
Profilers. Not that I had been subtle about it anyway. I cleared my throat, Emily’s gaze on me the entire time.
“I - we - uh. We had sex.”
“With (Y/N)?”
“Yes,” I admitted. Prentiss didn’t look surprised. Of course, she wasn’t.
“And what’s the problem?”
I spit in thirty seconds what had happened between us in the past six months.
“That kind of agreement never works. But sure, you already know that.”
“Believe me. I know that” I sighed.
“Tell her.”
“What?! No! She’s my friend on top of everything. She doesn’t feel like I do. I can’t tell her.” I assured Emily, who didn’t seem too convinced.
“How do you know? I bet she’s jealous of Alice.”
“I don’t think so,” I mumbled, pointing to the dance floor. (Y/N) was grinding against a guy who seemed too enthusiastic about it.
“That means nothing,” Prentiss scoffed.
But for me, it did. (Y/N) was enjoying the night and that guy’s company. And I was stuck in the same shit I wanted not to. I needed to move on from her. Try, at least.
Alice came back with some drinks. Emily took hers and stood to talk to someone who greeted her from another table.
I sipped my beer as Alice smiled and scooted to my side.
“Well, it seems we are alone now,” she pointed.
“Technically, no. The team is scattered between the dance floor and the -” I tried to explain, but Alice’s giggle cut me off.
“You know what I mean, Spencer. In fact, you know what I have been trying to do in the past months,” she asserted, looking at me with a smirk on her face.
“Do I?”
“Yeah. Flirt with you. I want you, Spencer. And I know you want me too,” Alice said, brushing some hair I had over my face. I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I didn’t say anything, seeing how she moved closer and closer. I darted my gaze from her eyes to her lips, which was her cue to close the remaining gap between us, pressing her lips to mine. It was a foreign feeling, but I told myself, ‘why not?’ so I kissed her back.
I cupped her cheeks and cocked my head to deepen the kiss. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she pressed her body against mine. I swept my tongue over her lips, and she complied and opened her mouth. Our tongues were fighting for dominance.
But it was wrong. I was kissing Alice, and I was thinking in (Y/N). How different she kissed me, how I missed her touch. The way she plays with my hair on the nape of my neck. The sounds she makes when I touch her.
I ended the kiss because of the guilt for what I was doing and the lack of oxygen. We both were panting, but Alice was the one who had a grin plastered on her face.
“I’m sorry. I - I shouldn’t have done that,” I apologized. Alice looked at me with a frown.
“Why do you say that? That kiss was amazing.”
“Alice. I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I just can’t. You are such a beautiful and intelligent woman; any man would be lucky to have you.”
“But I want you to have me, Spencer. Why not? You are single; I am too. And I know we’re attracted to each other,” she reasoned.
“But I love someone else,” I blurted out. Alice sat straight in the booth, scoffing.
“It’s (Y/N), right?”
I nodded. I really didn’t care right then if the whole DC finds out.
“Yeah. It’s (Y/N).”
“Come on, Spencer. She is not the one for you. I know you have been friends for a while, but you? with her? In a romantic relationship? Not a chance.”
That judgment took me aback. Why was it so difficult to believe?
“Why do you say that?”
“You need a person who cares about you, for real. Not someone that is constantly bossing everyone around and ditching your feelings. I saw how she was treating you lately. The cold shoulder and everything. She doesn’t deserve you, Spencer.”
“(Y/N) is not like that. You’re mistaken,” I shook my head. Alice didn’t understand. It was all my fault.
“Well. If I am, then please tell me what you see right now. That’s the woman you love?” Alice mocked, pointing to a corner where (Y/N) was making out with the same guy from the dance floor.
They both were getting handsy, and my blood started to boil again.
I couldn’t stand it anymore. I barely heard what Alice said when I stood up and marched where (Y/N) was.
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Reader’s POV.
Kissing that bitch. Spencer was kissing that bitch. But why was I surprised? He was the one who told me that our agreement should end because he wanted to fuck Alice.
It shouldn’t hurt the way it did. Not when I had another human being roaming my body with his hands and whispering praises into my ear.
Fuck you, Spencer Reid.
I took my fuck-mate prospect’s hand and made him follow me to a more private corner. I needed to forget what I saw, and if that meant getting lost with another guy, so be it.
We were heavily making out when I heard someone clearing his throat. I recognized that sound immediately.
“I need to talk to you,” Spencer sternly said, tapping my shoulder.
I parted from the kiss, and my buddy didn’t seem happy about the interruption. I wasn’t either.
“Hey dude, we’re busy here,” Randall - I’m sure that was his name - told him.
“Yeah, get lost, Reid,” I snarled. It was dark, but I still could see the redness on Spencer’s face.
I was about to resume my kissing session with Ryan when Spencer cleared his throat again, speaking louder this time.
“I will not go. We need to talk (Y/N). Now.”
Did I hear correctly? Was Spencer Reid demanding something from me?
Raymond was pissed off right now and turned to face Spencer with anger in his eyes. I should have felt bad for Spencer, but he deserved it.
“You heard the lady. Get lost!” Reggie grunted, but Spencer didn’t move from his spot, preparing himself for the worst.
When I saw Rendell fisting his hand to land a punch on Spencer’s face, I felt like I should do something.
“Hey, hey, Richie. Calm down. I had fun with you, but my friend needs me now. I’m so sorry,” I said, quickly grabbing Spencer’s wrist and dragging him to the back exit.
“Call me! And it’s Robbie. My name is Robbie.”
The poor guy spoke out before I disappeared.
Once outside, I looked at Spencer deadly.
“Spencer, what the fuck was that?!” I yelled.
“That guy only wanted to take advantage of you,” he spat back.
“How the hell do you know that?” I asked him, my hands on my hips and my best-annoyed look.
“He was touching you!” Spencer cringed as if he were talking about the world’s more disgusting thing.
“Oh! Is that a problem?” I mocked. Spencer looked frustrated with my sarcasm.
“Yeah, it is! You were going home with a stranger!”
“Good observation, genius. Maybe it is what I wanted to do.”
“To fuck that guy?” Spencer asked in disbelief.
“Yes! Since I don’t have my fuck-buddy anymore. Does it make sense to you?”
Spencer opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. I huffed.
“You did end our agreement, not me!” I reminded him.
“So that is what you miss. Your fuck-buddy,” Spencer pointed, his voice pained as if I said something hurtful.
“Yes. I mean - yes! Of course, I miss you,” I added, but Spencer shook his head.
“No, you miss the sex. Not me,” Spencer corrected.
“What the hell are you trying to say? Just say it, Spencer!”
An awkward silence fell between us. Spencer had his hands fisted as if he was holding something back. As if I had struck a chord in him.
“It can’t be that I was the only one who felt it! All this time was just sex for you?” He asked, and I saw the hurt in his eyes.
“No! That’s why we are friends too. You are not a stranger to me, Spencer. You could never be a stranger to me.” I tried to explain.
“And what if it was more than that? What if I broke the main rule of this whole thing?”
This time I was speechless. How could it be?
“You did not. You have feelings for Alice. That’s why you ended it.”
“No! And no! I don’t have feelings for Alice, and I didn’t end it because of her.”
“Oh please, you were devouring her in that booth minutes ago!” I scoffed.
“Yeah. I - I did kiss Alice, but because I wanted to forget how you were rubbing your body with another guy!” He argued.
“What? Why does that bother you so much?”
Spencer ran his hands through his hair. He was holding back something. When he locked eyes with me, I could see his struggle inside.
“I’m jealous, okay?” He yelled out, and I stepped back from the impetus in how he said it. “And not only because another guy was touching you. I’m jealous because I realize you can go on with your life without me. And not a day goes by that I don’t regret telling you we should have ended our arrangement without explaining the real reason.” Spencer said, averting his gaze from mine.
“And what is that real reason?” I asked in a whisper. I was afraid about what he would say.
Spencer returned his gaze to me.
“That I fell in love with you.”
I was taken aback. I didn’t expect Spencer would say that. I thought that I would be the one who would say it. My surprise seemed to deflate him.
“I know. I screwed up. We said this couldn’t jeopardize our friendship. And I really tried. I swear. But it got stronger every day, and I didn’t know what to do-” he rambled until I pressed my hand on his cheek. Spencer looked at me with doe eyes.
“If it makes you feel any better, I broke the rules too. And I’m not only talking about the night I asked you to stay with me. Although that night, I realized I had already loved you for a while,” I confessed, feeling my cheeks burning at the admission.
Spencer looked at me in utter surprise.
“You – you what?” I let out a nervous chuckle, like a teenager confessing to her crush.
“Yeah. I love you.”
Spencer didn’t seem to get the whole idea yet.
“But you were - I mean, that guy over there-”
“I was jealous too. And what could I do? You told me that we should end it. I thought you would fuck Alice and start a relationship with her,” I shrugged.
“God, no! In a million years. You have to believe me,” Spencer hastened to say.
“I don’t think that’s such a bad idea. I saw you excitedly kissing her a while ago,” I pointed matter-of-factly.
“You would think that even if I tell you I was thinking of you when I was doing it?”
“Liar.” I jeered, looking anywhere else but him. Spencer’s hand on my chin guided my gaze to him again.
“I’m not lying. Alice will never kiss me the way you do. She won’t give me goosebumps like you do when you touch me. Much less could she make me – you know – make me that hard, like when you kiss that special spot on my jaw,” he said, now stroking my cheek. I chuckled because I knew that sweet spot so well.
“I bet she couldn’t suck you off as I do,” I dared to say to see his reaction.
Spencer groaned, and I knew he was picturing the scene. Me on my knees, my lips around his shaft.
I was sure that my sultry voice filled him with pent-up desire. He missed me. He wanted me. He needed me the same way I missed him and wanted him.
“Kiss me,” I begged. I couldn’t take it anymore.
Spencer didn’t need to be told twice. He leaned and complied, with one hand on my cheek and the other on the back of my head; we crushed our lips together. I tried to ground myself, grabbing Spencer’s coat lapels, but the kiss was so fierce that I felt my knees weak. It was sloppy and full of passion.
I could feel Spencer’s erection pressing on my thigh. Maybe this was heating us faster than it should, but I didn’t care, and Spencer didn’t seem to care either.
When we broke the kiss, we were both panting. I could see Spencer’s eyes full of lust, which turned me on more than it should have. I was going to kiss him again, but he stopped me, holding me in place with his hands on my cheeks.
“Did you say she couldn’t suck me off as you do?” He asked me, and I fastly nodded. A smirk emerged on his face.
“Then get on your knees and show me,” Spencer demanded, running his fingers up and down my cheek and jaw.
Wait, what? Was he asked me to give him a blowjob in the back of a club? A public place?
It’s not that we haven’t talked about something like this before, but it was left as a fantasy that could happen in the future. Well, it seems that this moment could happen now. The idea made my panties absolutely soaked.
Without a second thought, my hands worked on Spencer’s belt.
I quickly unzipped his pants and freed his cock from his boxers. Before I got down and started my task, Spencer stopped me, took off his jacket, and hunched to put it on the ground, where I would put my knees.
Quite a gentleman, worried that my knees would not touch the dirty floor. Sure, a gentleman who was going to get a blowjob, but a gentleman nonetheless.
Once ready, he leaned against the wall as I pumped his cock with my hand. I could see the precum on the head, which I spread with my fingers.
Jeez, no matter how often I did this, the man was packed, and it was always a challenge to give him a blowjob.
A groan of satisfaction left his lips as I took him into my mouth.
“Fuck, (Y/N),” he muttered.
His hands immediately landed on my head, stroking my hair while I sucked on it, trying to take it whole. I hollowed my cheeks to take more and more of him as I bowed my head to increase his pleasure. And it worked. Spencer’s moans were all I needed to go on.
“Baby, you take it so well. You don´t know how pretty you look with my cock in your mouth,” he praised, coaxing a loud moan from me.
My eyes were fixed on him. Seeing him so lost in pleasure turned me on, throwing his head back, grabbing my hair to hold me in place, and pushing his hips up to fuck my mouth.
As he quickened his pace, I couldn’t help but gag when his cock hit the back of my throat.
“Come on, (Y/N). I know you can take it. This big cock is made for you,” he encouraged me. That way, it helped me relax my throat to take more of him.
I could feel him twitching, a sign that he was close. I loved knowing that I was the one who could push him to the limit, that I was the one who could give him so much pleasure. I wanted to do this for the rest of my life.
Spencer yanked on my hair to stop me as he was about to explode. Panting, he gazed at me adoringly as he helped me to my feet.
“I think we’ll leave this kind of ending for another time. Come here,” Spencer panted. I grinned, sweeping my lips with my tongue.
Spencer collided his lips with mine in another heatest kiss. He could taste himself in my mouth.
In the dark alley now was Spencer, who caged me against the wall. The cool bricks didn’t cool down the fire running through my body.
“Please, Spencer. I need you, baby,” I moaned on Spencer’s lips. He didn’t hesitate to act for his desires. His fingers toyed with the hem of my skirt, pulling it up enough to slip his hands under the fabric, caressing my thighs up and down but still not touching where I wanted him the most.
Feeling me squirming, he knew I was growing desperate for more.
“Are you greedy right now, sweetheart? Tell me what you want,” he taunted. That little did help me to stay still. His low voice and the teasing only made my arousal grow.
“You. I want you. Now. Please,” I mumbled. My eyes shut, feeling Spencer’s hands traveling upper my tights.
He took pity on me and reached my covered center with one hand. He started to circle my clit over my damped panties. A growl escaped my mouth.
“So wet, and I barely touched you,” he teased.
“Umm. It’s all for you. Keep touching me, please.”
I purred, feeling the pleasure of his thumb circling my bundle of nerves.
His lips sucked the skin on my neck, making me moan. My hands tugged the curls I had in my reach. Spencer grunted as his hand pulled the fabric to the side, letting his thumb work on my clit without any barrier. He added his middle finger, pushing it between my folds. A silent scream told him that it was what I wanted, quickly adding a second finger.
“Fuck! Spencer!” Still dizzy, I bucked my hips to feel his fingers deeper and deeper.
“You like that, uh?”
I couldn’t manage to let words out. But Spencer already knew the answer, speeding up his pace.
The poor light in the alley let Spencer see my face. Sure I looked like a mess, moaning and taking what he was giving to me.
“Spencer, baby. I’m so close,” I whimpered.
“I know. Do you want to cum in my fingers? Here, where can anyone see us?” He was openly teasing me, but honestly, he was just as worked up as me.
“Yes! Make me come. I want to give it to you because I’m yours—nobody else. Yours.”
That encouraged him to work faster, panting praises in my ear, circling my clit, and fingering me. That was enough to push me to the edge.
A loud moan and my walls clenching around his fingers told Spencer I was almost there.
“Let it go, baby. I’ve got you,” he whispered in my ear.
“Spencer! Fuck!” I whimpered as I came.
He helped me ride my orgasm, moving his fingers slowly and kissing my lips tenderly. Carefully, Spencer retrieved his fingers, brought them to his mouth, and sucked them clean. The sight made me moan, pulling Spencer by his lapel to kiss him again. Now I could taste myself in his mouth.
“Are you okay?” He asked after breaking the kiss.
“Yeah. But I need more,” I panted, still regulating my breathing. Although the poor light, I saw him smirk.
I wanted to feel him so bad. It didn’t matter that we were in a dark alley where anyone could pass and see us.
Spencer pumped his shaft a couple of times before aligning it at my entrance. He made eye contact with me to confirm if I was ready.
“Fuck me, please,” I whined.
It was the answer he needed.
“Fuck!” Spencer groaned when he slid the head of his cock between my folds, pushing inch by inch until he bottomed out.
“Oh my God. Yes!” I moaned. The feeling of him filling me up has always been so intense, no matter how many times he had done this.
“Baby, you’re so tight. I don’t know how I can fit in you,” he panted, stilling there and basking in the feeling of my warmth and wetness.
“You’re so big. I love how you stretch me. I love to feel everything of you,” I whimpered. Spencer let out a grunt trying to keep still and not move until I was ready.
“You - you can move now,” I whined, urging him to oblige.
Spencer pulled out almost entirely, only to slam into me right after.
“Shit!” I cried as Spencer set a pace. Ragged breaths erupted from both of us.
It was like being at home. I’ve never felt like this with anyone else.
“You like that? Uh?” Spencer grumbled, increasing the speed of his thrusts.
“Yes! You feel so - so good. I love the way - ah! - the way you fuck me,” I said.
“That’s why you were flirting with that asshole? You - you wanted me jealous?”
“Uh - yes! Yes! Yes! I wanted you so bad. I missed you so bad!”
Some tears pricked my eyes. A mix between the pleasure Spencer was giving to me and the realization that I missed him, and I couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.
People might say it’s strange that such a collected, shy, and socially awkward man could have such an animalistic side. For me, it is part of a whole. Spencer is all that and much more. People are multifaceted, and our social side often seems to be the opposite of our intimate side. Honestly, that’s not a problem for me. I love Spencer in all his different ways: the nerd, the fact-spouting young genius, the Dr. Who fan, the good friend, the one who’s by your side when you need him, the one willing to sacrifice for you, the man who is self-conscious when he receives compliments, the lover, the one who can mark your body with lovebites and who can make you see stars with his tongue or his fingers.
They are all the Spencer I love, my Spencer.
Spencer grabbed one of my legs and looped it around his waist. I held onto his biceps for stability as he speeded up his thrusts. Our moans were loud enough that it was a miracle no one had seen us yet.
Though perhaps I spoke too soon.
I opened my eyes, looked over Spencer’s shoulder, and saw someone looking at us. That made the adrenaline rush in a different direction than it was at that moment.
“Spencer. She’s - she’s watching us - she’s there. Fuck!” I managed to say between whimpers. Spencer didn’t seem bothered by my announcement, as his thrusts remained in the same delicious way.
“Who? Who’s watching us?” He asked, panting in my ear.
“Alice. Fuck! Should- should we stop?” I barely could form coherent words at this point, but I needed to warn him. We were in a public place, after all. The realization made my arousal grow somehow, so I only could close my eyes and feel Spencer’s cock stretching me most delightfully.
Almost forgetting that I told him what was happening around us, I swear I feel Spencer smirk on the crook of my neck.
“No. No. Let her watch if she wants. So she knows I’m yours. That you’re the only one - the only one I want to fuck in my entire life. Every time, everywhere. Let her see us. I - don’t - fucking - care,” Spencer emphasized each part with a deep thrust. I was a moaning mess, eyes shut and clinging to Spencer’s biceps for some balance as I lost myself in the pleasure.
The coil in my lower belly built it faster and faster.
“I love you so fucking much,” I panted, bucking up my hips to feel him deeper if that was possible at this point.
We both knew it was animalistic, lacking all rationalism. But we need it. We craved it in the most primal essence, where the words were not enough.
“I love you too. Look at me. I want to see your eyes when I’ll make you come. That’s it, my love—my good girl.”
“Repeat it, please,” I begged, arching my back.
“I love you, my good girl—only you,” he said, struggling to keep his eyes open.
“Yes! I’m yours. Spencer! God! So so good,” I babbled. I didn’t know it was something coherent, but who cares anyway?
“Are you close? Are you going to cum on my cock? Let her see how I fill you up?” He asked, a twisted smirk on him. Oh, fuck, how I love this man.
I didn’t know if Alice was still watching us, but the thought of her realizing that Spencer only wanted me and I only wanted him made me delirious.
“Yes! Please! Let me cum. I’m so close, baby.”
The feelings must be shown in some way, expressed, and offered in the form of actions. This time it was the possessiveness: the fact that reminded us that the fire was there because we belonged to each other.
At the top of our climax, mouths only served to moan our names, curses, and praises.
“Spencer! Fuck!” I yelled, shutting my eyes in pleasure.
My muscles tightened around Spencer when I came, pushing him to the edge. Spencer groaned as he emptied himself in me.
“Arg! So good, so good for me,” he muffled as his head nestled in the crook of my neck.
The moment and the place made the feeling more powerful. So powerful that we got lost in the dizziness of that post-coital bliss for a minute or two.
“God, I love you,” Spencer mumbled, kissing my neck. I giggled, feeling his stubble on my skin.
“I love you too. You’re more than my fuck-buddy, Spencer. And more than my friend too. You’re the man I love. I mean it,” I reassured him, tracing my fingers between his locks. He hummed contentedly. Parting from my neck, Spencer focused his eyes on mine.
“I know I should have said something before, but I was scared,” he confessed.
“Me too. But here we are. In a dark alley, in the back of a club, after fucking the shit out of us. I guess we are okay now.” We both giggled.
“Yeah, we’re more than okay,” he said, pecking my lips and hugging me tightly.
Well, maybe Emily Prentiss faking her death did bring something good to my life, after all.
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Spencer Reid’s Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @tvandfanfic @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @thebloomingeagle
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#Smurph's Birthday Challenge#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfictions#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x fem!bau!reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#dr. spencer reid#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x y/n
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Gone By Sunrise | S.R
Not my gif
Summary - Spencer Reid uses sex as a barrier between himself and his heart. But somewhere along the line you slipped past his carefully curated defences and got your hooks into him. How can he tell you he wants more than just sex and you slipping away before sunrise?
A/N - this was written for my dear friend @smurphyse birthday challenge! Everybody should go join in and show their support because Smurph is truly wonderful and happy birthday Angel ❤️. I took inspiration from the song “Loving You is Lonely” by Harmony Byrne and the prompts “Get on your knees and show me.”, “When this is all over, I want my sanity back.” Everything between Spencer and reader is consensual and discussed before hand, but please read with caution.
Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader
Category - porn with feelings, ambiguous (kind of hopeful) ending (minors DNI)
Content Warnings - Welp where do I begin? drinking, sexually promiscuous Spencer, vague mentions of bisexual Spencer, vague prison mentions, BDSM dungeons, age gap between consenting adults, brief mentions of clit slapping, oral sex (m&f receiving), Dom! Spencer / Sub! Reader, dirty talk, use of “whore” and “bitch”, public sex act, brief mentions of subdrop, consensual somnophilia, male masturbation, fingering, swearing, spitting, butt plugs, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, mentions of anal sex, doggy style, aftercare, mutual pining.
Word Count - 5.6k
Masterlist
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It was a little known fact about Doctor Spencer Reid that he was an incredibly sexual person.
He came across bumbling and slightly awkward but he’d discovered early on that wasn’t necessarily a flaw.
He lost his virginity whilst working on his undergrad at CalTech which would sound late if it weren’t for the fact he was a genius and fifteen at the time.
Her name was Sarah and she was one of the professor's daughters and the only girl his age on campus.
She spent a lot of time at CalTech despite not being a student there and she and Spencer had grown very close, very quickly.
Before Sarah, young Spencer had never had time to think about sex. His whole life had been taking care of his mother and working hard so that someday he might make something of himself.
But once he’d had a taste, there was no going back.
Spencer found it easier to use sexual relationships as a barrier between himself and his feelings. He didn’t sleep with one person more than a handful of times, he never took people on dates or brought his heart into the equation.
Sex allowed him to stave off his lonely existence for just long enough so he didn’t lose his mind under the weight of his job.
No one had any idea what the shy and socially awkward Doctor got up to in his free time. None of his team knew the notches on his bedpost would far surpass all of theirs combined.
And that’s the way he liked it.
He had a well honed system he’d perfected over the years.
He’d dress up nice, neatly pressed shirt and slacks, tie and sometimes a blazer to complete the look. He’d go to a bar within walking distance of his apartment and sip his single malt and he would wait.
He’d bide his time until the right person caught his eye. Usually it was the person sitting alone with their nose in a book. It was all part of the ruse.
Once he’d found his target he would observe them for a while, get to know everything he could about them by their body language and micro expressions.
It was probably how the unsubs he dedicated his life to catching stalked their victims. And maybe he’d think that was odd if he wasn’t so hyper focused on getting laid.
And when he’d garnered enough information about them, he would make his move.
He’d swoop in, taking note of whatever book they were reading and tell them, “I have a first edition of that one.”
His friendly eyes and slightly lopsided smile showed he posed no threat. His boyish good looks and smart attire were what attracted them.
The night would end with them leaving the bar with him under the pretence of seeing said first edition, because he conveniently only lived around the corner.
And once alone with him, they were putty in his hands.
Spencer had mastered the art of bringing both men and women to their orgasm. He knew just how to bring a person to their knees with his hands or his mouth.
He knew just how to fuck a woman to bring her the most pleasure, have her begging for more and finally tuned his skills as a power bottom to do the same to a man.
It was a little known fact, but that didn’t make it any less true. Spencer Reid was obsessed with sex.
And no more so than after he left prison.
The three months he spent in Milburn were probably the longest he’d gone without sex since he was fifteen years old.
But it hardened him even more so than he’d already been. The walls around his heart had grown taller and stronger so there was no way of anybody getting in.
His sexual appetite grew, his tastes became rougher and more intense. It became harder to find a partner willing to indulge him in his dark fantasies.
And then he met you.
You weren’t one of his bar hookups, or part of one of his ruses. He met you during the course of a case.
You called yourself Sage although he knew it wasn’t your real name. You worked at a BDSM dungeon where a victim had been last seen leaving. Spencer had been all too excited to jump at the chance to go and interview the workers.
You were a seasoned sub, you told him you got a job there while you were in college and three years later you were still there.
You were young and full of innocence. Despite the depraved things you witnessed from your clientele. He became instantly obsessed with you.
As soon as the case was over he revisited the dungeon, this time without his FBI credentials.
He wore black slacks and a black button up with several top buttons undone. He swept his hair back off his face and shaved his errant stubble.
He paid the cover charge and stepped inside, feeling euphoria flooding through his veins at the thick atmosphere that engulfed him.
The large warehouse smelt of sex and promise. Spencer felt the anticipation in his bones.
He was informed of all the rules. No touching without permission. Don’t ask for real names. Don’t be disruptive. Phones are left at the door.
He got a glass of water from the bar and started exploring almost immediately.
It was almost impressive he managed to keep his cock soft in pants as he traversed the dungeons' halls, peering into rooms showcasing various BDSM activity.
In one room he witnessed a man tied to a table by his ankles and wrists whilst being tickled by his dominatrix.
In another he saw three women all clad in leather head to toe, wiping a man over and over while he screamed and cried.
Another had a woman tied down on her front, ass in the air while a man pounded into her and she whined around a ball gag.
After he felt he’d gone through a hundred rooms he finally stumbled on one he was looking for.
You were clad in the purest white lace underwear that made you look like a goddamn angel sent from heaven if you ignored the fact the crotch was cut out of your panties.
Your wrists and ankles were shackled to the exposed brick wall, pulling your body into a star formation.
A man paced up and down in front of you, everyone once in a while moving closer to you and slapping you hard between your exposed legs.
The sound of flesh hitting flesh and devilish cries was what caused his cock to start hardening. And the way your eyes found his and kept his gaze the whole time drove him wild.
He leant against the door, palming himself through his slacks while he watched your clit get slapped over and over again.
By the time the man was done with you, Spencer was close to completion.
The man uncuffed you and thanked you for your time. Spencer waited patiently while you cleaned yourself up before slipping a sheer camisole on your shoulders and sauntering closer to him on your heels.
“Ah Doctor Reid, more questions for me?” You smirked, your eyes dark.
“I’m off the clock.” He licked his bottom lip.
“Thank god.” You stepped a little closer, raising your hand as if you might touch him. “Can I?”
“Yes.” Spencer nodded. “Can I touch you?”
You nodded as your fingernail ran along his jaw, pushing your breasts out towards him. His eyes cast downwards at the movement just like you’d hoped for.
“Are you looking for a good little sub, Doctor?” Your lip tugged at the corner into a dangerous smirk.
“I am.” He nodded, arms planted firmly at his sides even though he had permission to touch you.
“I’m such a good little sub. I won’t disappoint you.”
“Get on your knees and show me.” He suddenly barked at you, surprising you when he grabbed you roughly by your throat and forced you down to your knees.
You whimpered a little as you crashed onto the hard brick floor but Spencer was already working the buckle of his belt undone and freeing his already leaking cock from his slacks.
He reached down and gripped your jaw tightly in his hand and used the other to grip the base of his shaft.
He squeezed your jaw, forcing your mouth to open and thrust his cock inside.
He slammed into the back of your throat causing you to gag a little. He moved his hand from your jaw and brought it around to ball up your hair.
He used your hair to pull your head back like a leash before thrusting back inside your warm mouth.
You knelt before him and took what he had to give. You let him use your mouth to get off in, hollowing your cheeks around him and running your tongue along the vein on the underside of his shaft.
You kept your eyes on him, staring at him through your lashes, even when you heard people had gathered to watch.
He thrust harder, pulling your hair so tightly you feared it might tear out at the roots.
“Fuck you take a cock so well.” He grunted, his precome bitter on your tongue.
He was big and he knew it, his length heavy in your mouth and slapping against your throat repeatedly.
If he noticed you had an audience he didn’t show it, he didn’t take his eyes off of you.
“You like being used as a hole? No better than a fucking flesh light. Is that what you like? Just to be some goddamn hole for any man to stick his cock in?”
You whined around his length and he saw your thighs pressing together.
And that was when he knew he had you. That was the moment Spencer knew you belonged to him.
It didn’t take much time at all for him to bring himself to orgasm down the back of your throat and like a good little sub you swallowed every last drop without a word.
He helped you to your feet after and the two of you stared at one another for a few moments.
Spencer’s eyes kept raking over your lips and he had a desperate need to taste himself in your mouth.
“Can I…can I kiss you?” He felt pathetic asking such a thing.
And normally kissing was completely off the cards but you found yourself nodding dumbly.
He was quick to cup the back of your neck and draw you into him.
His lips were chapped and slightly rough as they moved against your own and his tongue hungrily explored your mouth, seeking out any remnants of his come he could taste.
Before he left, he took hold of your hand and slipped something inside your palm. But he was gone before you could look at what it was.
A simple white card with the FBI logo in one corner and his phone number in the other.
It wasn’t against the rules to see someone outside the club, but it was frowned upon. So you and Spencer kept your extra curricular activities private, just the way he liked.
And one day you woke up and it had been two years since the first night Spencer came to the club for the first time.
Whenever the two of you weren’t working you’d be at his place indulging in any sexual activity Spencer demanded of the evening.
Sometimes after really gruelling scenes you would stay the night, unable to force yourself from between his sheets while you laid in a state of subdrop. But it was an unspoken rule that you were gone by the time the sun rose.
Spencer made his intentions very clear from the first time you met outside of the club. It was just sex. You didn’t talk about your lives or attempt to get to know one another. You didn’t share insights into your days or talk about anything personal.
It was simply sex. Incredible, mind blowing sex.
But somewhere along the way you’d foolishly fallen in love with him.
Your heart had gotten involved somewhere between the sheets. The way Spencer took care of you after a scene made you stupidly believe he cared for you.
But then as your sex addled mind started to shut down and you surrendered to sleep he would always lean over and whisper in your ear, “be gone by sunrise.”
And your heart would shatter in your chest as you realised he only wanted you in the darkness. He only wanted you once the sun had set and the stars riddle the sky.
He only wanted you by moonlight.
Yet you continued to drop everything every time he called just for a moment spent with him, a few blissful hours when you could pretend he was really yours and only yours.
But Spencer Reid wasn’t a man who could be tamed. He wasn’t the kind of man you imagined a future with because he didn’t see the future, he only saw the now.
So you hid your heart away and pretended it did kill you every time he asked you to leave.
Loving Spencer Reid was an incredibly lonely life.
***
You and Spencer had drawn up a list of rules long ago for what you’d be willing to do together. Admittedly there wasn’t a lot that you didn’t give each other consent for.
You trusted Spencer with your life and you would allow him to do anything he saw fit to pleasure you both.
Spencer had been waiting for the right moment to try out one of those things in particular. The few times you’d fallen asleep in his bed you’d always been gone by the time he woke up, which was the way he liked it.
But for him to enact a particular fantasy of his, it involved you still being in his bed in the morning.
Last night you’d passed out between his sheets covered in welts and bruises from Spencer’s assault on you.
Your eyes had barely stayed open while he covered your wounds with ointment and by the time he was finished you were snoring softly.
Before giving over to sleep himself he still whispered to your unconscious form “be gone by sunrise.”
But unlike usual Spencer found himself woken by nothing in particular in the middle of the night. It was still dark outside and you were still in his bed.
Through the crack in the curtains the moonlight crept in and bathed you an almost ethereal glow. Your eyes were closed and your lashes grazed the skin under them, your lips were slightly parted in a half smile.
It was warm in the room, the sex from last night still clinging to every little nook of his bedroom and you’d thrown the sheet partially off your body. Your breasts were exposed and heaved up and down with your breaths, your swollen nipples made his cock twitch.
The sheet was draped between your bare legs and he’d only have to move a few inches to see all of you.
He chewed slightly aggressively on his lip at the thought of having you like this, unconscious and unaware.
It was a fantasy you’d discussed and one you’d given him consent for, there just hadn’t been the right time. You’d told him you were a heavy sleeper and he planned to test that out.
Just watching you sleep and thinking of the things he was going to do to you made his cock fully hard and throbbing.
He shuffled closer to you and reached out to trace the contours of your face with his finger, ghosting over skin.
He etched your jawline before trailing down your neck until he reached your chest.
Keeping his eyes on yours he dared tweak one of your nipples between his fingers.
Your lips parted a little more so he did it again, slightly harder.
He edged even closer to you and hovered over your chest, blowing hot air over your tits.
Your eyes fluttered a little but then squeezed shut tighter.
He bowed his head a little more and let his tongue cautiously glide over your nipple. It hardened almost immediately but other than that you stayed still.
He smiled to himself and lowered his mouth around your bud. He pinched it between his teeth and swirled his tongue around it.
A soft moan left your mouth and beneath the sheets your legs moved closer together. He continued sucking on your nipple while his hand moved to brush the sheets away from your body.
You wriggled a little on the mattress as your body was exposed but your breathing stayed even and drawn out.
He gave your nipple one last tease before manoeuvring himself cautiously in the bed so he was kneeling over you.
He pressed his palms to your inner thighs and parted your legs to give himself the perfect view of your sleeping form.
You were still glistening and smelt like him from your activities last night and he didn’t think there was anything sexier than a woman still smelling like him.
He knelt between your legs while his hand wrapped around his shaft. He pumped himself a few times while he watched you, blissfully unaware of what he was doing.
Although you’d agreed to this there was something so incredibly hot about getting caught. If you woke now and saw him jerking himself off over your naked body, how would you react?
A sharp breath crept from his chest at the thought. But as hot as it would be, he didn’t want you waking up until he was deep inside of you.
He let go of his shaft and shuffled down the bed, laying on his stomach until his face was between your thighs. He glanced up at you, seeing you still sleeping peacefully he smiled to himself.
He ran a finger between your folds, gently to ensure you weren’t going to wake up. Another sleepy moan fell from your lips but you didn’t move.
He kissed your inner thighs while running his finger between your legs again but he couldn’t wait any longer.
He pressed his face between your legs and lapped your clit with his tongue.
Your whole body tensed suddenly and his eyes flicked up, half expecting your eyes to be open. But they weren’t.
Smiling to himself he repeated the action before burying his face in you entirely and sucking on your sensitive bud.
His cock throbbed again between his stomach and the bed as you moaned once more. You started wiggling a little in the bed but you were still asleep.
He wondered if you were dreaming of what he was doing to you.
He could feel you were getting wet so he dared to tentatively push a finger inside of you. Another, louder moan escaped you and your legs tried to clamp together around his head.
He lazily pumped his finger in and out of your cunt while he sucked desperately on your clit. His cock was painfully hard and it was making him dizzy, he was already leaking onto the bed sheet.
He added another finger, feeling your cunt clench around him involuntarily. You tits bounced up and down with your heavy breathing as his tongue swirled around your clit before sucking on it again.
Spencer loved to eat you out. He loved the feeling of being buried between your legs and being able to pleasure you from nothing more than his tongue.
The first time he’d done it he coaxed four orgasms out of you with it. He’d stayed between your legs until you were sobbing from the overstimulation and could barely speak anymore.
If truth be told, he could spend forever between your legs. The way you tasted drove him wild and the way your body was so receptive to his tongue made him feel on top of the world.
He closed his eyes, getting lost in the feeling. He flicked his tongue back and forth over your clit in quick succession, hearing the way your breathing changed to stuttered breaths as he did so.
He flattened his tongue and ran it through your legs to meet his hand and back again. He drew your clit in between his teeth briefly before using his tongue to apply more pressure.
Your thighs were firmly pressing against his face and every now and again your whole body would twitch in your sleep.
He curled his fingers inside of you, brushing against your cervix and body jolted and he thought he’d blown it.
Glancing up from between your legs he saw your eyes still shut and he breathed a sigh of relief.
He kept his fingers inside of you but focused on your clit, sucking and licking until he could feel your tightening around him again.
His nose was buried in your pubic bone somehow wishing he could dive further into you even though it wasn’t possible.
He could feel you getting wetter, hear the sounds of your arousal as he thrust slowly with his fingers.
Even when your orgasm took route it still didn’t wake you. You moaned in your sleep and clamped harder around his head with your thighs but you still didn’t wake up.
He dared to continue his work after you came, lapping up your orgasm on his tongue but your body soon started to convulse and he tore himself away before he woke you.
He knelt over your sleeping form once more and his hand moved to his desperate cock. He stroked himself while mesmerised by the movement of your tits as they bounced up and down while your breathing tried to even itself out.
He’d been close before he touched himself and his hard and fast pumps brought his orgasm soon after.
He came on your chest, covering your beautiful tits in streaks of his hot come. He whined and bucked against his own hand as he rode out his high.
He stared down at you, still holding his dick in his hand. You were so fucking beautiful. He wasn’t sure he’d ever taken the time to really appreciate it before.
And you were never more beautiful than right at this moment with last night's welts glowing on your skin, his come coating your breasts and your arousal glistening between your legs.
He moved to cup your jaw and forced your lips apart before spitting in your open mouth.
You coughed a little, spluttering on his saliva but that was all.
You really were a heavy sleeper.
Gripping you by your shoulder he turned you over onto your stomach, your red ass cheeks from last night's paddling glowing in the moonlight.
He already found himself growing hard again as he inspected his handiwork. He took hold of your hips and pulled you closer to him.
You stirred a little so he stilled his movements but soon you sound asleep once more.
He reached over to the night stand and grabbed a bottle of lube and his favourite purple butt plug.
He’d fucked you in the ass until he came twice last night and he could still you were still open and the toy, which was much smaller than his cock, should fit in nicely without waking you.
He coated some lube on the toy and massaged some around your hole with his fingers. He pushed the head of the plug against your ring of muscles and when you didn’t stir, he slowly pressed it inside of you.
Your body tightened at the intrusion until only the smooth flat bottom of the toy was still visible.
You moaned against the pillow and your legs clamped together. He was now standing to full attention again and he pulled you closer so his cock nestled between your legs.
Gripping your hips and no longer caring if he woke you, he thrust inside your cunt hard and fast, flesh slapping against one and another as he quickly bottomed out.
A gasp erupted from your chest and your eyes shot open.
You blinked a few times as Spencer snapped his hips again, burying deep inside of you.
You looked over your shoulder to see a wicked smile on his lips.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”
You moaned as you registered the sensation of his cock filling you up and something smaller inside your ass.
You were dazed and confused with sleep but the pleasure flooded your body. He tugged at your hips, pulling you closer to him.
“On your hands and knees, bitch.” He spat, tugging you harder.
You gasped again in confusion, sleep still heavy around your brain. But you managed to rouse yourself enough to follow orders and shifted on the bed so you were on your hands and knees.
“Good girl. How does it feel to wake up with a cock in your pathetic cunt and toy in your ass? You’re so pitiful, do you know that Sage? Letting a man use you while you’re sleeping.” He growled, his head thrusting up against your cervix and making you moan haplessly.
You weren’t allowed to talk during sex unless he said you could, or if he asked you for your colour like he did next.
“Colour?”
“G-green.”
“Good girl. Such a good fucking hole for me to use.”
You were still delirious from sleep, still not quite sure what was going on but the pleasure that wracked your body was euphoric.
You ass clenched around the toy and your walls fluttered around Spencer’s heavy length, his nails digging into your hips as he pounded into you to keep you upright.
As Spencer fucked you, you felt the plug shifting with his thrusts and it felt phenomenal.
You wondered how long he’d been having his way with you. You’d been dreaming of him going down on you and coming from his tongue on your clit and you wondered now if that hadn’t been a dream at all.
You moaned at the thought of him using you while you slept, causing your already hazy brain to become foggier.
His hips snapped against your ass filling the room with the sounds of your flesh colliding.
He let go of one of your hips and grabbed your jaw, turning your face to look at him over your shoulder.
“Open your mouth.” He grunted as he thrust deeper, filling you in that perfect way only he could.
Immediately your jaw went slack and you opened your mouth. Spencer leaned closer and spat directly onto your tongue before squeezing your face tightly in his grip.
“Fucking whore.” He let go of your face and focused on the movement of his hips. “So pathetic, you’ll let me do anything to you.”
His grip on your hip was the only thing keeping you upright. You bowed your head to meet the cool pillow as tears started to roll from your eyes.
You clenched around him, making him hiss.
“Want more?” It was a rhetorical question, you’d get more if he decided to give you more.
You simply whined in response as his arm snaked around your waist and his long, nimble finger found your clit and pressed against it.
Your thighs clamped and your cunt fluttered once more around his aching dick.
The way Spencer was fucking you, slamming against the plug, made it fell like it was throbbing inside of your ass. You were hyper aware of the way it felt inside of you.
He started rubbing your clit causing your legs to quake beneath you and he tightened his hold on your hip to stop you from falling.
He dug his nails deeper into your skin and you could feel the marks he would leave behind. He always left you with marks that always had you conflicted.
One on hand they were reminders that even for a brief time you were his. But in the other they were the caveats of the fact he would never really belong to you.
“Fuck I don’t know how you can still be so fucking tight when I fuck you like I do.” He grunted, slamming into your cervix again roughly.
You felt your orgasm bubbling and you knew Spencer felt it too. He knew your body as well as he knew his own, maybe even better.
He picked up his speed on his thrumming of your clit and buried himself so deep inside of you, you weren’t sure how he didn’t split you in two.
“I’m gonna come in this sinful pussy. I’m going to fill you with my come just how you like, you whore.”
You whined as more tears fell from your eyes, his thrusts getting painful with the force he was exerting but the pleasure floated through you like waves.
You felt something wet on your ass and you realised Spencer had spat on it and then he slapped your ass cheek hard with the palm of his hand.
Your cunt tightened with your impending orgasm as did your ass around the plug. Spencer felt your walls closing in around his shaft that was still tender from the hours spent inside of you last night.
He grunted as he thrust and his body suddenly engulfed yours, sending you both falling to the mattress.
He pumped inside of you a few more times before he hissed deeply against your neck.
“Gonna come,” he growled and you mewled in response against the tear soaked pillow.
You convulsed around him and the feeling of your orgasm vibrated through his cock and pushed him over the edge.
He buried himself as deep as he could while he expelled his load inside of you and then started lazily thrusting while he rode out his orgasm.
You were sobbing and whimpering against the soft pillow when Spencer removed the plug from your ass, leaving you feeling partially empty.
He stayed inside of you while his dick softened, just revelling in the way you would clench every so often around him.
Eventually he rolled off of you and turned you on your back.
He didn’t say a word while he went to the bathroom and returned soon after with a washcloth and some ointment.
You looked up at him, your vision slightly blurry as he hovered above you looking like a goddamn angel sent from heaven.
The love you had for him came pouring from your eyes in the form of your tears while your heart silently called out to him in the night.
Loving him was the loneliest thing you’d ever done. Loving him was more lonely than actually being alone.
And you didn’t know if you could keep doing this to yourself.
He cleaned his seed that was soaking from between your legs into his sheets. The damp cloth between your legs made you whimper pathetically but Spencer was so gentle with you.
His featherlight touches as he applied ointment to the marks he’d left on your sides made you feel dizzy.
What you wouldn’t give to have this man’s love. In moments like this you could pretend you did. You could pretend as he looked down on you in that way that he felt it too.
But he didn’t. And he never would.
Your eyes were fluttering a little as he bowed his head and placed the softest kiss to your lips. It felt like an electric current passing through you.
Spencer rarely kissed you and if he did he was deep and fuelled with lust, nothing like this. This was almost loving.
The sun was starting to peak in from between the curtains and you sighed wearily knowing what that meant.
He laid down next to you in his bed and his lips ghosted over the shell of your ear. You prepared yourself for what he was about to say, what he always said, “be gone by sunrise.”
Except this time, he didn’t say that.
His arm snaked around your waist and he pulled you impossibly closer to him before he spoke.
“Why don’t you just stay a little while longer, ok?”
You were too tired to be shocked or surprised, instead you just nodded and nuzzled into the crook of his neck.
“When this is all over, I want my sanity back.” You mumbled sleepily as your eyes closed and you felt yourself almost instantly give over to sleep.
Spencer watched as your breathing got drawn out and your body went limp in his arms.
He stroked your sex messed hair back off your face, his heart like a lead weight in his chest as tears pricked the corners of his eyes.
“I want you here for all the sunrises and all the sunsets. For the rest of my life.” He whispered, sniffing back his tears. “Maybe one day I’ll have the guts to tell you that when you’re awake.”
He placed a chaste kiss to your forehead and then closed his eyes before his tears could creep out.
No one had ever gotten through the defences around his heart but you’d made it seem so easy.
You’d snuck in through a crack and now you took up residence there.
And maybe one day he’d be brave enough to admit when you weren’t asleep.
Because you were his sunrise. You were the light in his dark days. You made him come alive again with your warmth. You were the sun and he was but a simple planet happy just being present in your orbit.
Without the sun, life on Earth would cease to exist. And without you, he knew he wouldn’t survive either.
And maybe one day he’d tell you that. But for now he held you in his arms as he drifted off to sleep and prayed for the courage to tell his sun he couldn’t live without her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taglist -
All ships & genres -
@muffin-cup @andiebeaword @takeyourleap-of-faith @measure-in-pain @sexy-dumpster-fire @thebloomingeagle @dirtytissuebox @smurphyse @ssa-uglywhore27
SR x reader -
@dreatine @adoringanakin @dr-spencerr-reidd @sleepretreat @spenxerslut @bellaswanismysoulmate @mcumorningstar @kuolonsyoja @radtwinkie @drayshadow @lytrc @rainsong01 @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @safespacespence @pastelbabygirl19 @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @people-whatabunchofbastards @justreadingficsdontmindme @dielgonacoffee @hotchandspencearedilfs
#smurph's birthday challenge#happy birthday smurph#spencer reid#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds self insert
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Hey friends! I'm turning 25 on the 29th of June, and I wanna celebrate with y'all!
What's the Challenge?
Well, it's fairly simple... I want you guys to create either a oneshot, OC, moodboard, gifset, series, art, really anything based on the prompts below for fandoms, original work, anything! I'll take the time to read through them all and like, comment, and share each one!
You can pick an existing series, character, oneshot, OC, etc to create these for! I just wanna see what you guys create, and I'd personally love it if you wanted to make anything based on my own Masterlist (a little gift for me and I'd honestly DIE)!
Tag everything for this as Smurph's Birthday Challenge so I can keep track of it!!! and tag me too if you like @smurphyse
When does the Challenge end?
July 29th! One month from my birthday, and even though I will share, like, and comment on each one, I am going to declare my favorite <3 :)
Smurph, what are the Prompts?
Pick from as many of the categories below as you like! These are just my favorites, but feel free to pick some of your own or just GO WILD and do what you want!
Category 1: Song Lyrics/Titles
Miserable Man by David Kushner
Moonlight by Future Islands
This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory
Why Am I Like This? by Orla Gartland
Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil
Loving You Is Lonely by Harmony Byrne
Wolves Still Cry by Lawrence Rothman
Romance by Ex:Re
still feel. by half-alive
Talia by King Princess
Dreaming of You by Selena
This is Heaven by Nick Jonas
Sexy Weekend by Scoundrels
Mansard Roof by Vampire Weekend
Everything Now by Arcade Fire
Category 2: Dialogue Prompts
"But did they experience pain? Did they know they were going to die?"
"I will knock you on your ass if you even THINK about it!"
"He was gonna hurt you..."
"Get on your knees and show me."
"I love you. I'm still gonna kill you, but man am I gonna feel bad about it!"
"I don't think I'm doing this right."
"What the fuck-? Oh... OH."
"When I picture myself growing old... it's always with you."
"Who's gonna let you?" "Who's gonna stop me?"
"How long have you been standing there?" "Longer than you like."
"When this is all over, I want my sanity back."
"Hah! You owe me ten whole dollars!!"
Category 3: Naughty Prompts
Doggy style
Reverse Cowgirl
Cum stuffing
Consensual Non Consent
Free use
Cum play
Blood Play
Shower Sex
Anal sex
Plugs! (any kind, but oh boy do I wanna see some vaginal plugs)
Pet play
Collars
Knife play
Bondage
Shibari
Suspension
Edging
Overstimulation
Double Penetration (or multiple penetration!)
Kidnap!kink
Fisting
Pillow humping
Thigh riding
Boot licking
Choking
Breath play
Deepthroating
Risky texts/sexts
Public sex
Voyeurism
Mutual masturbation
Cock warming
Watching porn together <3
Somnophilia
Spitting
Forced kisses
Clit slapping
Forced orgasms
Breeding Kink
Bruise Kink
Size Kink
Pick anything you want from any category, or just create something on your own for the Challenge/Celebration! I'd love to see what you guys come up with and I can't wait to see!
Happy birthday to me! - Smurph <3
Don't forget, tag it as Smurph's Birthday Challenge!
#Smurph's Birthday Challenge#happy birthday smurph#smurphyse#spencer reid#criminal minds#justified#marvel#bucky barnes#loki#loki laufeyson#aaron hotchner#writing prompts#writing challenge#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#cm fandom#mgg#smurph writes#writerblr#prompt list#writing practice#fanfic writers#writeblr#challenge#oc challenge#oc appreciation#ocappreciation#ocapp
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Okay i already commented on this on ao3, but i cannot sing my praises enough!!! I love a good "nontraditional" job for reader! Everyone seems to have this fascination with making a reader on Reids level and i love seeing it with a confident reader who doesnt also have to work at the bau! I loved this little oneshot with all my tiny heart💖💖 its so cute and so sweet🥺🥺🥺
Perfect
My submission for @smurphyse Birthday Challenge!
Summary: Spencer helps you get ready for your headliner debut
Spencer Reid x Burlesque Performer!Reader
Category: Fluff w/ a dash of spice but like a white people dash so
Warnings: None really, Spencer is a simp and we love it. *The picture collage has nothing to do with how Reader looks, it is simply For The Vibes*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thumping music filtered down the hall from the stage behind you as you made your way back to your dressing room from company warm ups. You hiked your warm-up sweats higher on your hips as you ducked between bodies, calling greetings and pleasant chit-chat with the other performers. Before you could be waylaid further by your friends, you ducked into your dressing room.
Keep reading
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Come Let Me Adore You….
Reidaway…
Collage/ Moodboard Based on the song ‘Wolves Still Cry’ by Lawrence Rothman..
Happy Birthday, @smurphyse ! Hope your day is an incredible one!
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Okay, so I have a lot of fucking feelings about this...
First off, HOLY FUCK THANK YOU!!! I didn't expect anyone to want to participate in this and this is THE BEST THING I COULD HAVE GOTTEN FOR MY BIRTHDAY
You KNOW I love plugs and UGH and double penetration and good lord did you deliver!!!! I also love that it was the first time she'd ever 'slept over', and the angstttttt at Spencer still telling her to be gone by sunrise but then whispering to her in her sleep. That little emotionally repressed shit I SWEAR TO GOD.
The silent unspoken contract between them of not discussing personal lives and such gives me such Room 405 vibes and i LOVE that they met in a sex club. I love that Spence saw something he liked on a case and was like, 'yeaahhhhh gonna come back and get me some of that'
YES boy, you deserve ittt!!!! Get that girl, but ugh he's such a little bitch not telling her how he felt rip ;D I Need THEM TO CONFESS THEIR LOVE
As always, *mwuah* the smut was peeerrrfffeeeectttt and you murdered me with angst. Barely 25 and im dead because of you, Scarlet, thanks.
Gone By Sunrise | S.R
Not my gif
Summary - Spencer Reid uses sex as a barrier between himself and his heart. But somewhere along the line you slipped past his carefully curated defences and got your hooks into him. How can he tell you he wants more than just sex and you slipping away before sunrise?
A/N - this was written for my dear friend @smurphyse birthday challenge! Everybody should go join in and show their support because Smurph is truly wonderful and happy birthday Angel ❤️. I took inspiration from the song “Loving You is Lonely” by Harmony Byrne and the prompts “Get on your knees and show me.”, “When this is all over, I want my sanity back.” Everything between Spencer and reader is consensual and discussed before hand, but please read with caution.
Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader
Category - porn with feelings, ambiguous (kind of hopeful) ending (minors DNI)
Content Warnings - Welp where do I begin? drinking, sexually promiscuous Spencer, vague mentions of bisexual Spencer, vague prison mentions, BDSM dungeons, age gap between consenting adults, brief mentions of clit slapping, oral sex (m&f receiving), Dom! Spencer / Sub! Reader, dirty talk, use of “whore” and “bitch”, public sex act, brief mentions of subdrop, consensual somnophilia, male masturbation, fingering, swearing, spitting, butt plugs, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, mentions of anal sex, doggy style, aftercare, mutual pining.
Word Count - 5.6k
Masterlist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a little known fact about Doctor Spencer Reid that he was an incredibly sexual person.
He came across bumbling and slightly awkward but he’d discovered early on that wasn’t necessarily a flaw.
He lost his virginity whilst working on his undergrad at CalTech which would sound late if it weren’t for the fact he was a genius and fifteen at the time.
Her name was Sarah and she was one of the professor's daughters and the only girl his age on campus.
She spent a lot of time at CalTech despite not being a student there and she and Spencer had grown very close, very quickly.
Before Sarah, young Spencer had never had time to think about sex. His whole life had been taking care of his mother and working hard so that someday he might make something of himself.
But once he’d had a taste, there was no going back.
Spencer found it easier to use sexual relationships as a barrier between himself and his feelings. He didn’t sleep with one person more than a handful of times, he never took people on dates or brought his heart into the equation.
Sex allowed him to stave off his lonely existence for just long enough so he didn’t lose his mind under the weight of his job.
No one had any idea what the shy and socially awkward Doctor got up to in his free time. None of his team knew the notches on his bedpost would far surpass all of theirs combined.
And that’s the way he liked it.
He had a well honed system he’d perfected over the years.
He’d dress up nice, neatly pressed shirt and slacks, tie and sometimes a blazer to complete the look. He’d go to a bar within walking distance of his apartment and sip his single malt and he would wait.
He’d bide his time until the right person caught his eye. Usually it was the person sitting alone with their nose in a book. It was all part of the ruse.
Once he’d found his target he would observe them for a while, get to know everything he could about them by their body language and micro expressions.
It was probably how the unsubs he dedicated his life to catching stalked their victims. And maybe he’d think that was odd if he wasn’t so hyper focused on getting laid.
And when he’d garnered enough information about them, he would make his move.
He’d swoop in, taking note of whatever book they were reading and tell them, “I have a first edition of that one.”
His friendly eyes and slightly lopsided smile showed he posed no threat. His boyish good looks and smart attire were what attracted them.
The night would end with them leaving the bar with him under the pretence of seeing said first edition, because he conveniently only lived around the corner.
And once alone with him, they were putty in his hands.
Spencer had mastered the art of bringing both men and women to their orgasm. He knew just how to bring a person to their knees with his hands or his mouth.
He knew just how to fuck a woman to bring her the most pleasure, have her begging for more and finally tuned his skills as a power bottom to do the same to a man.
It was a little known fact, but that didn’t make it any less true. Spencer Reid was obsessed with sex.
And no more so than after he left prison.
The three months he spent in Milburn were probably the longest he’d gone without sex since he was fifteen years old.
But it hardened him even more so than he’d already been. The walls around his heart had grown taller and stronger so there was no way of anybody getting in.
His sexual appetite grew, his tastes became rougher and more intense. It became harder to find a partner willing to indulge him in his dark fantasies.
And then he met you.
You weren’t one of his bar hookups, or part of one of his ruses. He met you during the course of a case.
You called yourself Sage although he knew it wasn’t your real name. You worked at a BDSM dungeon where a victim had been last seen leaving. Spencer had been all too excited to jump at the chance to go and interview the workers.
You were a seasoned sub, you told him you got a job there while you were in college and three years later you were still there.
You were young and full of innocence. Despite the depraved things you witnessed from your clientele. He became instantly obsessed with you.
As soon as the case was over he revisited the dungeon, this time without his FBI credentials.
He wore black slacks and a black button up with several top buttons undone. He swept his hair back off his face and shaved his errant stubble.
He paid the cover charge and stepped inside, feeling euphoria flooding through his veins at the thick atmosphere that engulfed him.
The large warehouse smelt of sex and promise. Spencer felt the anticipation in his bones.
He was informed of all the rules. No touching without permission. Don’t ask for real names. Don’t be disruptive. Phones are left at the door.
He got a glass of water from the bar and started exploring almost immediately.
It was almost impressive he managed to keep his cock soft in pants as he traversed the dungeons' halls, peering into rooms showcasing various BDSM activity.
In one room he witnessed a man tied to a table by his ankles and wrists whilst being tickled by his dominatrix.
In another he saw three women all clad in leather head to toe, wiping a man over and over while he screamed and cried.
Another had a woman tied down on her front, ass in the air while a man pounded into her and she whined around a ball gag.
After he felt he’d gone through a hundred rooms he finally stumbled on one he was looking for.
You were clad in the purest white lace underwear that made you look like a goddamn angel sent from heaven if you ignored the fact the crotch was cut out of your panties.
Your wrists and ankles were shackled to the exposed brick wall, pulling your body into a star formation.
A man paced up and down in front of you, everyone once in a while moving closer to you and slapping you hard between your exposed legs.
The sound of flesh hitting flesh and devilish cries was what caused his cock to start hardening. And the way your eyes found his and kept his gaze the whole time drove him wild.
He leant against the door, palming himself through his slacks while he watched your clit get slapped over and over again.
By the time the man was done with you, Spencer was close to completion.
The man uncuffed you and thanked you for your time. Spencer waited patiently while you cleaned yourself up before slipping a sheer camisole on your shoulders and sauntering closer to him on your heels.
“Ah Doctor Reid, more questions for me?” You smirked, your eyes dark.
“I’m off the clock.” He licked his bottom lip.
“Thank god.” You stepped a little closer, raising your hand as if you might touch him. “Can I?”
“Yes.” Spencer nodded. “Can I touch you?”
You nodded as your fingernail ran along his jaw, pushing your breasts out towards him. His eyes cast downwards at the movement just like you’d hoped for.
“Are you looking for a good little sub, Doctor?” Your lip tugged at the corner into a dangerous smirk.
“I am.” He nodded, arms planted firmly at his sides even though he had permission to touch you.
“I’m such a good little sub. I won’t disappoint you.”
“Get on your knees and show me.” He suddenly barked at you, surprising you when he grabbed you roughly by your throat and forced you down to your knees.
You whimpered a little as you crashed onto the hard brick floor but Spencer was already working the buckle of his belt undone and freeing his already leaking cock from his slacks.
He reached down and gripped your jaw tightly in his hand and used the other to grip the base of his shaft.
He squeezed your jaw, forcing your mouth to open and thrust his cock inside.
He slammed into the back of your throat causing you to gag a little. He moved his hand from your jaw and brought it around to ball up your hair.
He used your hair to pull your head back like a leash before thrusting back inside your warm mouth.
You knelt before him and took what he had to give. You let him use your mouth to get off in, hollowing your cheeks around him and running your tongue along the vein on the underside of his shaft.
You kept your eyes on him, staring at him through your lashes, even when you heard people had gathered to watch.
He thrust harder, pulling your hair so tightly you feared it might tear out at the roots.
“Fuck you take a cock so well.” He grunted, his precome bitter on your tongue.
He was big and he knew it, his length heavy in your mouth and slapping against your throat repeatedly.
If he noticed you had an audience he didn’t show it, he didn’t take his eyes off of you.
“You like being used as a hole? No better than a fucking flesh light. Is that what you like? Just to be some goddamn hole for any man to stick his cock in?”
You whined around his length and he saw your thighs pressing together.
And that was when he knew he had you. That was the moment Spencer knew you belonged to him.
It didn’t take much time at all for him to bring himself to orgasm down the back of your throat and like a good little sub you swallowed every last drop without a word.
He helped you to your feet after and the two of you stared at one another for a few moments.
Spencer’s eyes kept raking over your lips and he had a desperate need to taste himself in your mouth.
“Can I…can I kiss you?” He felt pathetic asking such a thing.
And normally kissing was completely off the cards but you found yourself nodding dumbly.
He was quick to cup the back of your neck and draw you into him.
His lips were chapped and slightly rough as they moved against your own and his tongue hungrily explored your mouth, seeking out any remnants of his come he could taste.
Before he left, he took hold of your hand and slipped something inside your palm. But he was gone before you could look at what it was.
A simple white card with the FBI logo in one corner and his phone number in the other.
It wasn’t against the rules to see someone outside the club, but it was frowned upon. So you and Spencer kept your extra curricular activities private, just the way he liked.
And one day you woke up and it had been two years since the first night Spencer came to the club for the first time.
Whenever the two of you weren’t working you’d be at his place indulging in any sexual activity Spencer demanded of the evening.
Sometimes after really gruelling scenes you would stay the night, unable to force yourself from between his sheets while you laid in a state of subdrop. But it was an unspoken rule that you were gone by the time the sun rose.
Spencer made his intentions very clear from the first time you met outside of the club. It was just sex. You didn’t talk about your lives or attempt to get to know one another. You didn’t share insights into your days or talk about anything personal.
It was simply sex. Incredible, mind blowing sex.
But somewhere along the way you’d foolishly fallen in love with him.
Your heart had gotten involved somewhere between the sheets. The way Spencer took care of you after a scene made you stupidly believe he cared for you.
But then as your sex addled mind started to shut down and you surrendered to sleep he would always lean over and whisper in your ear, “be gone by sunrise.”
And your heart would shatter in your chest as you realised he only wanted you in the darkness. He only wanted you once the sun had set and the stars riddle the sky.
He only wanted you by moonlight.
Yet you continued to drop everything every time he called just for a moment spent with him, a few blissful hours when you could pretend he was really yours and only yours.
But Spencer Reid wasn’t a man who could be tamed. He wasn’t the kind of man you imagined a future with because he didn’t see the future, he only saw the now.
So you hid your heart away and pretended it did kill you every time he asked you to leave.
Loving Spencer Reid was an incredibly lonely life.
***
You and Spencer had drawn up a list of rules long ago for what you’d be willing to do together. Admittedly there wasn’t a lot that you didn’t give each other consent for.
You trusted Spencer with your life and you would allow him to do anything he saw fit to pleasure you both.
Spencer had been waiting for the right moment to try out one of those things in particular. The few times you’d fallen asleep in his bed you’d always been gone by the time he woke up, which was the way he liked it.
But for him to enact a particular fantasy of his, it involved you still being in his bed in the morning.
Last night you’d passed out between his sheets covered in welts and bruises from Spencer’s assault on you.
Your eyes had barely stayed open while he covered your wounds with ointment and by the time he was finished you were snoring softly.
Before giving over to sleep himself he still whispered to your unconscious form “be gone by sunrise.”
But unlike usual Spencer found himself woken by nothing in particular in the middle of the night. It was still dark outside and you were still in his bed.
Through the crack in the curtains the moonlight crept in and bathed you an almost ethereal glow. Your eyes were closed and your lashes grazed the skin under them, your lips were slightly parted in a half smile.
It was warm in the room, the sex from last night still clinging to every little nook of his bedroom and you’d thrown the sheet partially off your body. Your breasts were exposed and heaved up and down with your breaths, your swollen nipples made his cock twitch.
The sheet was draped between your bare legs and he’d only have to move a few inches to see all of you.
He chewed slightly aggressively on his lip at the thought of having you like this, unconscious and unaware.
It was a fantasy you’d discussed and one you’d given him consent for, there just hadn’t been the right time. You’d told him you were a heavy sleeper and he planned to test that out.
Just watching you sleep and thinking of the things he was going to do to you made his cock fully hard and throbbing.
He shuffled closer to you and reached out to trace the contours of your face with his finger, ghosting over skin.
He etched your jawline before trailing down your neck until he reached your chest.
Keeping his eyes on yours he dared tweak one of your nipples between his fingers.
Your lips parted a little more so he did it again, slightly harder.
He edged even closer to you and hovered over your chest, blowing hot air over your tits.
Your eyes fluttered a little but then squeezed shut tighter.
He bowed his head a little more and let his tongue cautiously glide over your nipple. It hardened almost immediately but other than that you stayed still.
He smiled to himself and lowered his mouth around your bud. He pinched it between his teeth and swirled his tongue around it.
A soft moan left your mouth and beneath the sheets your legs moved closer together. He continued sucking on your nipple while his hand moved to brush the sheets away from your body.
You wriggled a little on the mattress as your body was exposed but your breathing stayed even and drawn out.
He gave your nipple one last tease before manoeuvring himself cautiously in the bed so he was kneeling over you.
He pressed his palms to your inner thighs and parted your legs to give himself the perfect view of your sleeping form.
You were still glistening and smelt like him from your activities last night and he didn’t think there was anything sexier than a woman still smelling like him.
He knelt between your legs while his hand wrapped around his shaft. He pumped himself a few times while he watched you, blissfully unaware of what he was doing.
Although you’d agreed to this there was something so incredibly hot about getting caught. If you woke now and saw him jerking himself off over your naked body, how would you react?
A sharp breath crept from his chest at the thought. But as hot as it would be, he didn’t want you waking up until he was deep inside of you.
He let go of his shaft and shuffled down the bed, laying on his stomach until his face was between your thighs. He glanced up at you, seeing you still sleeping peacefully he smiled to himself.
He ran a finger between your folds, gently to ensure you weren’t going to wake up. Another sleepy moan fell from your lips but you didn’t move.
He kissed your inner thighs while running his finger between your legs again but he couldn’t wait any longer.
He pressed his face between your legs and lapped your clit with his tongue.
Your whole body tensed suddenly and his eyes flicked up, half expecting your eyes to be open. But they weren’t.
Smiling to himself he repeated the action before burying his face in you entirely and sucking on your sensitive bud.
His cock throbbed again between his stomach and the bed as you moaned once more. You started wiggling a little in the bed but you were still asleep.
He wondered if you were dreaming of what he was doing to you.
He could feel you were getting wet so he dared to tentatively push a finger inside of you. Another, louder moan escaped you and your legs tried to clamp together around his head.
He lazily pumped his finger in and out of your cunt while he sucked desperately on your clit. His cock was painfully hard and it was making him dizzy, he was already leaking onto the bed sheet.
He added another finger, feeling your cunt clench around him involuntarily. You tits bounced up and down with your heavy breathing as his tongue swirled around your clit before sucking on it again.
Spencer loved to eat you out. He loved the feeling of being buried between your legs and being able to pleasure you from nothing more than his tongue.
The first time he’d done it he coaxed four orgasms out of you with it. He’d stayed between your legs until you were sobbing from the overstimulation and could barely speak anymore.
If truth be told, he could spend forever between your legs. The way you tasted drove him wild and the way your body was so receptive to his tongue made him feel on top of the world.
He closed his eyes, getting lost in the feeling. He flicked his tongue back and forth over your clit in quick succession, hearing the way your breathing changed to stuttered breaths as he did so.
He flattened his tongue and ran it through your legs to meet his hand and back again. He drew your clit in between his teeth briefly before using his tongue to apply more pressure.
Your thighs were firmly pressing against his face and every now and again your whole body would twitch in your sleep.
He curled his fingers inside of you, brushing against your cervix and body jolted and he thought he’d blown it.
Glancing up from between your legs he saw your eyes still shut and he breathed a sigh of relief.
He kept his fingers inside of you but focused on your clit, sucking and licking until he could feel your tightening around him again.
His nose was buried in your pubic bone somehow wishing he could dive further into you even though it wasn’t possible.
He could feel you getting wetter, hear the sounds of your arousal as he thrust slowly with his fingers.
Even when your orgasm took route it still didn’t wake you. You moaned in your sleep and clamped harder around his head with your thighs but you still didn’t wake up.
He dared to continue his work after you came, lapping up your orgasm on his tongue but your body soon started to convulse and he tore himself away before he woke you.
He knelt over your sleeping form once more and his hand moved to his desperate cock. He stroked himself while mesmerised by the movement of your tits as they bounced up and down while your breathing tried to even itself out.
He’d been close before he touched himself and his hard and fast pumps brought his orgasm soon after.
He came on your chest, covering your beautiful tits in streaks of his hot come. He whined and bucked against his own hand as he rode out his high.
He stared down at you, still holding his dick in his hand. You were so fucking beautiful. He wasn’t sure he’d ever taken the time to really appreciate it before.
And you were never more beautiful than right at this moment with last night's welts glowing on your skin, his come coating your breasts and your arousal glistening between your legs.
He moved to cup your jaw and forced your lips apart before spitting in your open mouth.
You coughed a little, spluttering on his saliva but that was all.
You really were a heavy sleeper.
Gripping you by your shoulder he turned you over onto your stomach, your red ass cheeks from last night's paddling glowing in the moonlight.
He already found himself growing hard again as he inspected his handiwork. He took hold of your hips and pulled you closer to him.
You stirred a little so he stilled his movements but soon you sound asleep once more.
He reached over to the night stand and grabbed a bottle of lube and his favourite purple butt plug.
He’d fucked you in the ass until he came twice last night and he could still you were still open and the toy, which was much smaller than his cock, should fit in nicely without waking you.
He coated some lube on the toy and massaged some around your hole with his fingers. He pushed the head of the plug against your ring of muscles and when you didn’t stir, he slowly pressed it inside of you.
Your body tightened at the intrusion until only the smooth flat bottom of the toy was still visible.
You moaned against the pillow and your legs clamped together. He was now standing to full attention again and he pulled you closer so his cock nestled between your legs.
Gripping your hips and no longer caring if he woke you, he thrust inside your cunt hard and fast, flesh slapping against one and another as he quickly bottomed out.
A gasp erupted from your chest and your eyes shot open.
You blinked a few times as Spencer snapped his hips again, burying deep inside of you.
You looked over your shoulder to see a wicked smile on his lips.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”
You moaned as you registered the sensation of his cock filling you up and something smaller inside your ass.
You were dazed and confused with sleep but the pleasure flooded your body. He tugged at your hips, pulling you closer to him.
“On your hands and knees, bitch.” He spat, tugging you harder.
You gasped again in confusion, sleep still heavy around your brain. But you managed to rouse yourself enough to follow orders and shifted on the bed so you were on your hands and knees.
“Good girl. How does it feel to wake up with a cock in your pathetic cunt and toy in your ass? You’re so pitiful, do you know that Sage? Letting a man use you while you’re sleeping.” He growled, his head thrusting up against your cervix and making you moan haplessly.
You weren’t allowed to talk during sex unless he said you could, or if he asked you for your colour like he did next.
“Colour?”
“G-green.”
“Good girl. Such a good fucking hole for me to use.”
You were still delirious from sleep, still not quite sure what was going on but the pleasure that wracked your body was euphoric.
You ass clenched around the toy and your walls fluttered around Spencer’s heavy length, his nails digging into your hips as he pounded into you to keep you upright.
As Spencer fucked you, you felt the plug shifting with his thrusts and it felt phenomenal.
You wondered how long he’d been having his way with you. You’d been dreaming of him going down on you and coming from his tongue on your clit and you wondered now if that hadn’t been a dream at all.
You moaned at the thought of him using you while you slept, causing your already hazy brain to become foggier.
His hips snapped against your ass filling the room with the sounds of your flesh colliding.
He let go of one of your hips and grabbed your jaw, turning your face to look at him over your shoulder.
“Open your mouth.” He grunted as he thrust deeper, filling you in that perfect way only he could.
Immediately your jaw went slack and you opened your mouth. Spencer leaned closer and spat directly onto your tongue before squeezing your face tightly in his grip.
“Fucking whore.” He let go of your face and focused on the movement of his hips. “So pathetic, you’ll let me do anything to you.”
His grip on your hip was the only thing keeping you upright. You bowed your head to meet the cool pillow as tears started to roll from your eyes.
You clenched around him, making him hiss.
“Want more?” It was a rhetorical question, you’d get more if he decided to give you more.
You simply whined in response as his arm snaked around your waist and his long, nimble finger found your clit and pressed against it.
Your thighs clamped and your cunt fluttered once more around his aching dick.
The way Spencer was fucking you, slamming against the plug, made it fell like it was throbbing inside of your ass. You were hyper aware of the way it felt inside of you.
He started rubbing your clit causing your legs to quake beneath you and he tightened his hold on your hip to stop you from falling.
He dug his nails deeper into your skin and you could feel the marks he would leave behind. He always left you with marks that always had you conflicted.
One on hand they were reminders that even for a brief time you were his. But in the other they were the caveats of the fact he would never really belong to you.
“Fuck I don’t know how you can still be so fucking tight when I fuck you like I do.” He grunted, slamming into your cervix again roughly.
You felt your orgasm bubbling and you knew Spencer felt it too. He knew your body as well as he knew his own, maybe even better.
He picked up his speed on his thrumming of your clit and buried himself so deep inside of you, you weren’t sure how he didn’t split you in two.
“I’m gonna come in this sinful pussy. I’m going to fill you with my come just how you like, you whore.”
You whined as more tears fell from your eyes, his thrusts getting painful with the force he was exerting but the pleasure floated through you like waves.
You felt something wet on your ass and you realised Spencer had spat on it and then he slapped your ass cheek hard with the palm of his hand.
Your cunt tightened with your impending orgasm as did your ass around the plug. Spencer felt your walls closing in around his shaft that was still tender from the hours spent inside of you last night.
He grunted as he thrust and his body suddenly engulfed yours, sending you both falling to the mattress.
He pumped inside of you a few more times before he hissed deeply against your neck.
“Gonna come,” he growled and you mewled in response against the tear soaked pillow.
You convulsed around him and the feeling of your orgasm vibrated through his cock and pushed him over the edge.
He buried himself as deep as he could while he expelled his load inside of you and then started lazily thrusting while he rode out his orgasm.
You were sobbing and whimpering against the soft pillow when Spencer removed the plug from your ass, leaving you feeling partially empty.
He stayed inside of you while his dick softened, just revelling in the way you would clench every so often around him.
Eventually he rolled off of you and turned you on your back.
He didn’t say a word while he went to the bathroom and returned soon after with a washcloth and some ointment.
You looked up at him, your vision slightly blurry as he hovered above you looking like a goddamn angel sent from heaven.
The love you had for him came pouring from your eyes in the form of your tears while your heart silently called out to him in the night.
Loving him was the loneliest thing you’d ever done. Loving him was more lonely than actually being alone.
And you didn’t know if you could keep doing this to yourself.
He cleaned his seed that was soaking from between your legs into his sheets. The damp cloth between your legs made you whimper pathetically but Spencer was so gentle with you.
His featherlight touches as he applied ointment to the marks he’d left on your sides made you feel dizzy.
What you wouldn’t give to have this man’s love. In moments like this you could pretend you did. You could pretend as he looked down on you in that way that he felt it too.
But he didn’t. And he never would.
Your eyes were fluttering a little as he bowed his head and placed the softest kiss to your lips. It felt like an electric current passing through you.
Spencer rarely kissed you and if he did he was deep and fuelled with lust, nothing like this. This was almost loving.
The sun was starting to peak in from between the curtains and you sighed wearily knowing what that meant.
He laid down next to you in his bed and his lips ghosted over the shell of your ear. You prepared yourself for what he was about to say, what he always said, “be gone by sunrise.”
Except this time, he didn’t say that.
His arm snaked around your waist and he pulled you impossibly closer to him before he spoke.
“Why don’t you just stay a little while longer, ok?”
You were too tired to be shocked or surprised, instead you just nodded and nuzzled into the crook of his neck.
“When this is all over, I want my sanity back.” You mumbled sleepily as your eyes closed and you felt yourself almost instantly give over to sleep.
Spencer watched as your breathing got drawn out and your body went limp in his arms.
He stroked your sex messed hair back off your face, his heart like a lead weight in his chest as tears pricked the corners of his eyes.
“I want you here for all the sunrises and all the sunsets. For the rest of my life.” He whispered, sniffing back his tears. “Maybe one day I’ll have the guts to tell you that when you’re awake.”
He placed a chaste kiss to your forehead and then closed his eyes before his tears could creep out.
No one had ever gotten through the defences around his heart but you’d made it seem so easy.
You’d snuck in through a crack and now you took up residence there.
And maybe one day he’d be brave enough to admit when you weren’t asleep.
Because you were his sunrise. You were the light in his dark days. You made him come alive again with your warmth. You were the sun and he was but a simple planet happy just being present in your orbit.
Without the sun, life on Earth would cease to exist. And without you, he knew he wouldn’t survive either.
And maybe one day he’d tell you that. But for now he held you in his arms as he drifted off to sleep and prayed for the courage to tell his sun he couldn’t live without her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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It's my birthday today! 🎂 so I'm reposting this again as a reminder that you have until July 29th to complete the challenge! Don't forget to tag❤️
Hey friends! I'm turning 25 on the 29th of June, and I wanna celebrate with y'all!
What's the Challenge?
Well, it's fairly simple... I want you guys to create either a oneshot, OC, moodboard, gifset, series, art, really anything based on the prompts below for fandoms, original work, anything! I'll take the time to read through them all and like, comment, and share each one!
You can pick an existing series, character, oneshot, OC, etc to create these for! I just wanna see what you guys create, and I'd personally love it if you wanted to make anything based on my own Masterlist (a little gift for me and I'd honestly DIE)!
Tag everything for this as Smurph's Birthday Challenge so I can keep track of it!!! and tag me too if you like @smurphyse
When does the Challenge end?
July 29th! One month from my birthday, and even though I will share, like, and comment on each one, I am going to declare my favorite <3 :)
Smurph, what are the Prompts?
Pick from as many of the categories below as you like! These are just my favorites, but feel free to pick some of your own or just GO WILD and do what you want!
Category 1: Song Lyrics/Titles
Miserable Man by David Kushner
Moonlight by Future Islands
This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory
Why Am I Like This? by Orla Gartland
Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil
Loving You Is Lonely by Harmony Byrne
Wolves Still Cry by Lawrence Rothman
Romance by Ex:Re
still feel. by half-alive
Talia by King Princess
Dreaming of You by Selena
This is Heaven by Nick Jonas
Sexy Weekend by Scoundrels
Mansard Roof by Vampire Weekend
Everything Now by Arcade Fire
Category 2: Dialogue Prompts
"But did they experience pain? Did they know they were going to die?"
"I will knock you on your ass if you even THINK about it!"
"He was gonna hurt you..."
"Get on your knees and show me."
"I love you. I'm still gonna kill you, but man am I gonna feel bad about it!"
"I don't think I'm doing this right."
"What the fuck-? Oh... OH."
"When I picture myself growing old... it's always with you."
"Who's gonna let you?" "Who's gonna stop me?"
"How long have you been standing there?" "Longer than you like."
"When this is all over, I want my sanity back."
"Hah! You owe me ten whole dollars!!"
Category 3: Naughty Prompts
Doggy style
Reverse Cowgirl
Cum stuffing
Consensual Non Consent
Free use
Cum play
Blood Play
Shower Sex
Anal sex
Plugs! (any kind, but oh boy do I wanna see some vaginal plugs)
Pet play
Collars
Knife play
Bondage
Shibari
Suspension
Edging
Overstimulation
Double Penetration (or multiple penetration!)
Kidnap!kink
Fisting
Pillow humping
Thigh riding
Boot licking
Choking
Breath play
Deepthroating
Risky texts/sexts
Public sex
Voyeurism
Mutual masturbation
Cock warming
Watching porn together <3
Somnophilia
Spitting
Forced kisses
Clit slapping
Forced orgasms
Breeding Kink
Bruise Kink
Size Kink
Pick anything you want from any category, or just create something on your own for the Challenge/Celebration! I'd love to see what you guys come up with and I can't wait to see!
Happy birthday to me! - Smurph <3
Don't forget, tag it as Smurph's Birthday Challenge!
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I am working on this challenge already! Congratulations @smurphyse for your birthday!!!
Hey friends! I'm turning 25 on the 29th of June, and I wanna celebrate with y'all!
What's the Challenge?
Well, it's fairly simple... I want you guys to create either a oneshot, OC, moodboard, gifset, series, art, really anything based on the prompts below for fandoms, original work, anything! I'll take the time to read through them all and like, comment, and share each one!
You can pick an existing series, character, oneshot, OC, etc to create these for! I just wanna see what you guys create, and I'd personally love it if you wanted to make anything based on my own Masterlist (a little gift for me and I'd honestly DIE)!
Tag everything for this as Smurph's Birthday Challenge so I can keep track of it!!! and tag me too if you like @smurphyse
When does the Challenge end?
July 29th! One month from my birthday, and even though I will share, like, and comment on each one, I am going to declare my favorite <3 :)
Smurph, what are the Prompts?
Pick from as many of the categories below as you like! These are just my favorites, but feel free to pick some of your own or just GO WILD and do what you want!
Category 1: Song Lyrics/Titles
Miserable Man by David Kushner
Moonlight by Future Islands
This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory
Why Am I Like This? by Orla Gartland
Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil
Loving You Is Lonely by Harmony Byrne
Wolves Still Cry by Lawrence Rothman
Romance by Ex:Re
still feel. by half-alive
Talia by King Princess
Dreaming of You by Selena
This is Heaven by Nick Jonas
Sexy Weekend by Scoundrels
Mansard Roof by Vampire Weekend
Everything Now by Arcade Fire
Category 2: Dialogue Prompts
"But did they experience pain? Did they know they were going to die?"
"I will knock you on your ass if you even THINK about it!"
"He was gonna hurt you..."
"Get on your knees and show me."
"I love you. I'm still gonna kill you, but man am I gonna feel bad about it!"
"I don't think I'm doing this right."
"What the fuck-? Oh... OH."
"When I picture myself growing old... it's always with you."
"Who's gonna let you?" "Who's gonna stop me?"
"How long have you been standing there?" "Longer than you like."
"When this is all over, I want my sanity back."
"Hah! You owe me ten whole dollars!!"
Category 3: Naughty Prompts
Doggy style
Reverse Cowgirl
Cum stuffing
Consensual Non Consent
Free use
Cum play
Blood Play
Shower Sex
Anal sex
Plugs! (any kind, but oh boy do I wanna see some vaginal plugs)
Pet play
Collars
Knife play
Bondage
Shibari
Suspension
Edging
Overstimulation
Double Penetration (or multiple penetration!)
Kidnap!kink
Fisting
Pillow humping
Thigh riding
Boot licking
Choking
Breath play
Deepthroating
Risky texts/sexts
Public sex
Voyeurism
Mutual masturbation
Cock warming
Watching porn together <3
Somnophilia
Spitting
Forced kisses
Clit slapping
Forced orgasms
Breeding Kink
Bruise Kink
Size Kink
Pick anything you want from any category, or just create something on your own for the Challenge/Celebration! I'd love to see what you guys come up with and I can't wait to see!
Happy birthday to me! - Smurph <3
Don't forget, tag it as Smurph's Birthday Challenge!
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Everyone go join Smurph’s birthday challenge! I personally can’t wait to get stuck in with this!
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Hey friends! I'm turning 25 on the 29th of June, and I wanna celebrate with y'all!
What's the Challenge?
Well, it's fairly simple... I want you guys to create either a oneshot, OC, moodboard, gifset, series, art, really anything based on the prompts below for fandoms, original work, anything! I'll take the time to read through them all and like, comment, and share each one!
You can pick an existing series, character, oneshot, OC, etc to create these for! I just wanna see what you guys create, and I'd personally love it if you wanted to make anything based on my own Masterlist (a little gift for me and I'd honestly DIE)!
Tag everything for this as Smurph's Birthday Challenge so I can keep track of it!!! and tag me too if you like @smurphyse
When does the Challenge end?
July 29th! One month from my birthday, and even though I will share, like, and comment on each one, I am going to declare my favorite <3 :)
Smurph, what are the Prompts?
Pick from as many of the categories below as you like! These are just my favorites, but feel free to pick some of your own or just GO WILD and do what you want!
Category 1: Song Lyrics/Titles
Miserable Man by David Kushner
Moonlight by Future Islands
This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory
Why Am I Like This? by Orla Gartland
Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil
Loving You Is Lonely by Harmony Byrne
Wolves Still Cry by Lawrence Rothman
Romance by Ex:Re
still feel. by half-alive
Talia by King Princess
Dreaming of You by Selena
This is Heaven by Nick Jonas
Sexy Weekend by Scoundrels
Mansard Roof by Vampire Weekend
Everything Now by Arcade Fire
Category 2: Dialogue Prompts
"But did they experience pain? Did they know they were going to die?"
"I will knock you on your ass if you even THINK about it!"
"He was gonna hurt you..."
"Get on your knees and show me."
"I love you. I'm still gonna kill you, but man am I gonna feel bad about it!"
"I don't think I'm doing this right."
"What the fuck-? Oh... OH."
"When I picture myself growing old... it's always with you."
"Who's gonna let you?" "Who's gonna stop me?"
"How long have you been standing there?" "Longer than you like."
"When this is all over, I want my sanity back."
"Hah! You owe me ten whole dollars!!"
Category 3: Naughty Prompts
Doggy style
Reverse Cowgirl
Cum stuffing
Consensual Non Consent
Free use
Cum play
Blood Play
Shower Sex
Anal sex
Plugs! (any kind, but oh boy do I wanna see some vaginal plugs)
Pet play
Collars
Knife play
Bondage
Shibari
Suspension
Edging
Overstimulation
Double Penetration (or multiple penetration!)
Kidnap!kink
Fisting
Pillow humping
Thigh riding
Boot licking
Choking
Breath play
Deepthroating
Risky texts/sexts
Public sex
Voyeurism
Mutual masturbation
Cock warming
Watching porn together <3
Somnophilia
Spitting
Forced kisses
Clit slapping
Forced orgasms
Breeding Kink
Bruise Kink
Size Kink
Pick anything you want from any category, or just create something on your own for the Challenge/Celebration! I'd love to see what you guys come up with and I can't wait to see!
Happy birthday to me! - Smurph <3
Don't forget, tag it as Smurph's Birthday Challenge!
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Okay... I'm DEAD! i hardly see Reidaway ANYTHING!! i love this so so so much and I'm so glad you used a song prompt!! 💕💖💕❤️ i fucking love this!!!
Come Let Me Adore You….
Reidaway…
Collage/ Moodboard Based on the song ‘Wolves Still Cry’ by Lawrence Rothman..
Happy Birthday, @smurphyse ! Hope your day is an incredible one!
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