#Small Box for Ashes

[earthmemorials]

The Significance of a Small Box for Ashes

Our Earth Memorials Small Box for Ashes is a beautiful way to honor and remember your loved one. Made with high-quality materials and exquisite craftsmanship, this small box is perfect for those who prefer to keep their loved one's ashes at home. The design is simple and elegant, and the inside is lined with soft velvet to ensure the utmost care for your loved one's remains. This small box is also perfect for taking memorial ashes on the go, allowing you to keep your loved one close no matter where life takes you.

[heybaetae]

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[ghostadas]

When I die, I would like to be buried under a mango tree. It comforts me thinking that my bones could rejoin the earth, my body could nourish the soil and the tree could be a kind grave stone and a kind of second life. I think it would be comforting for my friends and family to sit under the shade years after I’m gone and enjoy the fruit and remember that life can still be sweet even though I am gone.

[luna-azzurra]

Describe your Main Character sheet

Skin

Tone: Pale, Rosy, Olive, Dark, Tanned, Alabaster, Ebony, Bronze, Golden, Fair

Texture: Smooth, Rough, Silky, Coarse, Flaky, Supple, Wrinkled, Calloused, Bumpy

Condition: Moles, Acne, Dry, Greasy, Freckled, Scars, Birthmarks, Bruised, Sunburned, Flawless

Complexion: Clear, Ruddy, Sallow, Glowing, Dull, Even-toned, Blotchy

Eyes

Size: Small, Large, Average, Tiny, Bulging, Narrow

Color: Grey, Brown, Blue, Violet, Pink, Green, Gold, Hazel, Crimson, Amber, Turquoise, Sapphire, Onyx

Shape: Doe-eyed, Almond, Close-set, Wide-set, Round, Oval, Hooded, Monolid

Expression: Deep-set, Squinty, Monolid, Heavy eyelids, Upturned, Downturned, Piercing, Gentle, Sparkling, Steely

Other: Glassy, Bloodshot, Tear-filled, Clear, Glinting, Shiny

Hair

Thickness: Thin, Thick, Fine, Normal

Texture: Greasy, Dry, Soft, Shiny, Curly, Frizzy, Wild, Unruly, Straight, Smooth, Wavy, Floppy

Length: Cropped, Pixie-cut, Afro, Shoulder length, Back length, Waist length, Past hip-length, Buzz cut, Bald

Styles: Weave, Hair extensions, Jaw length, Layered, Mohawk, Dreadlocks, Box braids, Faux locks, Braid, Ponytail, Bun, Updo

Color: White, Salt and pepper, Platinum blonde, Golden blonde, Dirty blonde, Blonde, Strawberry blonde, Ash brown, Mouse brown, Chestnut brown, Golden brown, Chocolate brown, Dark brown, Jet black, Ginger, Red, Auburn, Dyed, Highlights, Low-lights, Ombre

Eyebrows: Thin eyebrows, Average eyebrows, Thick eyebrows, Plucked eyebrows, Bushy eyebrows, Arched eyebrows, Straight eyebrows

Lips

Shape: Full, Thin, Heart-shaped, Bow-shaped, Wide, Small

Texture: Chapped, Smooth, Cracked, Soft, Rough

Color: Pale, Pink, Red, Crimson, Brown, Purple, Nude

Expression: Smiling, Frowning, Pursed, Pouting, Curved, Neutral, Tight-lipped, Parted

Nose

Shape: Button, Roman, Hooked, Aquiline, Flat, Pointed, Wide, Narrow, Crooked, Upturned, Snub

Size: Small, Large, Average, Long, Short

Condition: Freckled, Sunburned, Smooth, Bumpy

Build

Frame: Petite, Slim, Athletic, Muscular, Average, Stocky, Large, Lean, Stout, Bony, Broad-shouldered, Narrow-shouldered

Height: Short, Tall, Average, Petite, Giant

Posture: Upright, Slouched, Rigid, Relaxed, Graceful, Awkward, Stiff, Hunched

Hands

Size: Small, Large, Average, Delicate, Strong

Texture: Smooth, Rough, Calloused, Soft, Firm

Condition: Clean, Dirty, Manicured, Scarred, Wrinkled

Nails: Short, Long, Polished, Chipped, Clean, Dirty, Painted, Natural

Voice

Tone: Deep, High, Soft, Loud, Raspy, Melodic, Monotonous, Hoarse, Clear, Gentle

Volume: Loud, Soft, Whispery, Booming, Muted

Pace: Fast, Slow, Steady, Hasty, Measured

Expression: Cheerful, Sad, Angry, Calm, Anxious, Confident, Nervous, Excited, Bored

[lovebugism]

for your smut request ☺️ eddie seeing the love marks he left on reader and getting turned on all over again remember how it got there in the first place 🫶🏻

thank u for requesting :D — the one where eddie realizes quitting smoking would be a whole lot easier than quitting you (established relationship, allusions to smut 18+ | 0.9k)

You lie in the center of Eddie’s bed, trying hard to catch your breath, while the boy rolls off the squeaking mattress on tingling limbs. 

You hear him chuck the used condom into the bin by the nightstand as he goes. He tugs plaid boxers up lanky legs, then fishes for the pack of cigs left in his discarded jeans in one fell swoop. His movements are so practiced now they seem almost fluid. Or maybe that’s just the honeyed haze leftover in your heavy eyes.

Eddie opens the window with one hand, then brings the other up to his mouth. He plucks a cigarette from the carton with his lips and leaves the rest on the sill. A midnight breeze billows past his flushed cheeks and wild curls before finding you. It feels like silk against your buzzing, bare skin.

He cups a hand over his mouth to light the stick. The amber flame makes his face glow. Suddenly, everything smells of sex, nicotine, and midnight air.

You writhe under the thin sheets to stretch your aching limbs before mustering a small smile at the boy across the room. “Smoking after sex is so cliche,” you joke in contented slurs.

“Well, it’s your fault,” the boy insists as grey smoke billows from his rosy mouth. He flicks the filter end of the cigarette to dispel the ash in the ceramic tray, then stretches his arms over his head. It leaves his milky white torso on display for you. Your mouth waters with the urge to run your lips over each of his fading tattoos.

“Is it?” you hum.

“Mhmm,” Eddie nods wordlessly. He sticks the cig back in his mouth and mumbles through it. “If you weren’t so needy, I wouldn’t be smokin’ so much.”

A beam tugs at your lips, threatening to fill the lamplit bedroom with sunshine. You cage it between your teeth because both of you know Eddie was the so-called needy one no more than ten minutes ago –– panting in your ear as he fucked sloppily into you, and leaving his pathetic little whimpers there, too.

“Please cum,” he begged against your skin as his thrusts lost rhythm, weighed down by his own need for release. “Please cum for me. I need to feel it. Need to feel it so bad, baby. Please.”

You watch the memory replay itself in Eddie’s faraway gaze. The notion makes your chest go warm. “Well, you have my deepest sympathies, Eddie Spaghetti,” you murmur in response, soft and sarcastic.

Eddie lifts a pale shoulder in a lazy shrug. “It’s okay,” he mumbles back, cigarette bobbing on his bottom lip. “I can just bill you for all the packs I’m goin’ through.”

“Or we can just stop having sex?” you offer with a knowing lilt to your voice, rising to sit further up on the pillows. You clutch the sheets to your bare chest and look at the boy beneath your lashes. “That’s free, at least.”

Eddie nods, eyes squinted in feigned curiosity. “Hm... That’s definitely an interesting proposition,” he hums with his head angled towards the window to blow smoke out of.

“I mean, I have plenty of toys to keep me occupied––”

“And by toy, I assume you’re talking about Steve The Hair Harrington?” Eddie tries to joke, though his poorly concealed jealousy goes unentertained.

“––But I think you’ll get tired of your right hand very quickly.”

“Hey,” Eddie pouts. “You know I’m ambidextrous. I can switch it up.”

“So, it’s settled then?” you shrug. “No more sex.”

Eddie bows his head sheepishly, silently calculating a way to get him out of the hole he dug for himself. He snuffs the cigarette out in the ashtra, and his eyes flit to the opened box of condoms on his dresser, all but calling his name.

“Well… I mean… We still have eleven condoms left, so…”

You meet his brown-eyed look of expectancy with a cynical smirk. “You see eleven condoms, I see eleven minutes of my life I’m never getting back,” you quip.

Eddie stalks towards you on long legs, brows furrowed in a pitiful look. “Stop being mean to me. I’ll fall in love with you––” he whines playfully, leaning over the mattress with the intent to kiss you. His eyes fall to the blossoming bruises on your neck, and he stops short. “Jesus…”

“What?” you murmur in a mousy voice, eyes wide and glittering.

“Nothin’,” Eddie blurts as he raises his hand to run his fingers over your warm skin. He traces the blooming blood vessels over your collarbone, and his face screws with worry. “Do these hurt?” he wonders aloud.

“Do these?” you echo, motioning to the scratches on his shoulders he hasn’t bothered to notice until now. You didn’t even know you were leaving them there, in truth, as you held onto the boy for dear life while he fucked you within an inch of your own.

Eddie tucks his chin to his chest and tries to eye the scrapes from his peripheral vision. He spots four lines of raging red and puffed-up skin. They feel almost like battle scars –– an aching that he’s proud of.

“A little,” he shrugs, then smiles proudly to himself. “They feel good, though.”

“So do these,” you hum.

His heavy eyes fall to your neck again. His mouth waters at the sight of the lovebites littered there. “Want some more?” he offers lowly.

“I thought we had a deal, Eds? No more sex,” you tease as the boy leans further into kiss you. You smell nicotine and sex on his breath, and your head starts to swim.

“We never shook on it,” Eddie insists, right before kissing you hard enough to steal the breath from your lungs.

[hotdrinks]

[ID: The Magnus Archives fanart of Jon and Martin kissing in Jon's office. Jon sits at his desk, his fist is balled in Martin's shirt, and he is pulling him down for the kiss. There is a spilled mug of tea, and several papers fluttering to the ground by Martin's hand. There is a painting of Jonah Magnus on the wall behind Jon and Martin. He looks at the viewer with wide eyes. The office is cramped and messy, there are boxes and stacks of paper on the floor and shelves. There are small references to each of the 14 fears in the background. They are as follows: a coffin drawn on the chalkboard, a skull on the shelf on the left wall, a copy of The Bone Turner's Tale, a jar of ashes, and a spider on the shelf behind Jon, fog in the hopper windows near the ceiling, candles, a pair of antlers, a knife, and a clown doll on the shelf behind Martin, a surrealist painting of a door on a flat landscape, a tall painting of a ship on a stormy sea -both on the right wall-, and a cracked cabinet door revealing complete darkness on the left side of the room. End ID]

Jonmartin sucking face in a messy environment?? by me???? it's more likely than you think. (a commission for @primtheamazing <333)

[rttnz0mb]

Hot Boxing / Rainy Night - Ticci Toby

Summary: You and Toby are chilling in his car while masky and hoodie are out on a mission, You and Toby decide to get high to pass the time when things get a little heated

Warning: Smoking, Cussing, smut,

Words: 1.5k

The rain fell in sheets, It was like a curtain obscuring the view of the world outside the window. You watched the rain droplets come down the window seeing which one would get to the bottom first, As you shifted your view out towards the forest you watched the rain, mesmerized, as the rain was swirling almost like it was dancing by the strong gusts of wind.

"It's getting really bad out there huh"

The cold voice drew your attention away from outside to back in the car, you look towards where the voice came from, there you see Toby sitting in the drivers seat with his usual stern cold gaze he always had. You and Toby haven't gone on any mission or hung out in a long time, you two used to hang out all the time but then all of a sudden the fun just stopped and he became more distant.

"Yeah it is..I wonder how Masky and Hoodie are doing, I mean with all this rain it must be hard to be out in the forest"

"They will be fine they hav-have worked in way worse than some r-rain" he said looking out of the window with a bored expression, he then looks like he had just remembered something, and with that he then reaches in his pocket to bring out a joint and a lighter.

"Do you mi-mind if I smoke"

You looked at him with a confused expression, if it were Masky or hoodie they wouldn't even bat an eye at you much less ask if you minded if they smoked.

"No I don't really mind" You said as you watched him light his joint, he then takes a long inhale, and in a matter of a few seconds he does almost a sigh of relief, you watch as the smoke fills the car, a strong smell of marijuana in the air leaving you feeling nostalgic as the smell brings you back to when you were just a young teenager.

"Brings ya b-back doesn't it" he says with a light smile which you hadn't seen in ages "You know.. I miss hanging ou-out with you", You were stunned to hear him say that, "Really" not knowing if you heard him correctly. "Well i mean y-yeah you were super fun to ha-hang out with" he says as he motions the joint towards you to take.

You take it moving it in between your fingers watching the smoke and ash fall from the joint, you feel a little nervous before taking a hit considering you haven't smoked in almost three years. While you inhale Toby puts on music to fill the silent void throughout the car, with that you exhale with a few small coughs.

After a few more minutes of sharing the joint between you two and just relaxing to the music you both start feeling very high. You take another quick look outside still admiring the rain even if it is kind of hard to see from the fogged up windows from all the smoke. The mix of the smoke filled air with the calming sounds of the music and the rain has you feeling almost euphoric.

"How much longer do you think Masky and Hoodie will be gone?"

"Hmm, I imagine they will be g-gone for at least another hour and a half" he says looking at you with heavy eyes almost in a flirty manner "So do you have any id-ideas of what we can do t-to pass the time?" he said with an almost flirty tone.

"u-uh we could.." you tried to form a sentence as his demeanor changing from normal to now very flirty has gotten you all flustered.

Toby lets out a soft chuckle "I always thought you were so cute when you got flustered like this"

Before you could find the words to respond with you felt Toby's mouth hit yours with a desperate yet rough kiss. You couldn't help but just melt in Toby's touch with his warm tongue caressing your lips every now and then. The more the kissing went on the more sloppy and desperate the kisses were, you both were getting impatient leaving you guys gripping and pulling at each other's clothes.

You started to shift in your seat noticing the warmth that was developing in between your thighs, Toby must've noticed this and he started moving his hands down your body caressing your thighs and moving his hands in between your thighs in a teasing manner

Toby released his lips from yours with yet again another sly smile, "What's the matter already getting all hot and bothered?" he says in-between small kisses and small laughs. "Will you let me help you baby" he said in a teasing tone.

"Toby please" you say sounding more embarrassed than you anticipated

"Get in the back seat for me baby" he said as he makes his way to the backseat. Once you got in the back you started feeling an overwhelming feeling of nervousness, "You have nothing to worry about love trust me, just lay down for me okay" You lay down and the arousal you feel eventually outweighing the feeling or nervousness.

Toby made his way to your neck kissing and nipping at your neck leaving little love bites all over your neck, You wished this moment would last forever, the hazy atmosphere making this whole thing feel like some amazing dream. Once Toby felt he had done enough he moved back to look at all the hickeys and bruises he had made.

Toby had moved his way down your torso leaving sloppy kisses all over your body, he lifted up your shirt even more, leaving more kisses all over your chest "sit up a bit for me" he said while he took your shirt off and he slowly took your bra off like he was teasing himself more than he was you. After he took your bra off he instantly started nipping at your breasts, sucking on one of your nipples while he played with the other one with his hand.

Toby was starting to feel impatient, feeling how the bulge in his pants was getting harder and already leaking from excitement. Toby made his way down to your shorts and unzipped them like his life depended on it. He quickly pulled down your shorts throwing them aside, Your underwear basically covered from how wet you were. "Your so fu-fucking hot" he said practically drooling from the view of you, he didn't waste anymore time as he moved his head down while he moved your panties aside revealing your puffy and swollen lips from being unattended for so long.

He began abusing your cunt with his mouth and tongue, he began drawing circles around your clit with his tongue, he felt like he could lose himself in the way you taste. "Toby, oh g-god -- That fe-els so good" you felt like you were drowning, the amount of stimulation was almost unbarring that you felt like you couldn't even form a single sentence.

"you ta-taste so good baby"

You could feel you were close, trying to close your legs from all the stimulation but Toby had a strong grip on your thighs forcing them open so he could get the best angle and reactions he wanted.

You soon felt your orgasm wash over you "a-ah Toby g-god" Toby thought he would cum right then and there from just the noises you made and just how you said his name, it just made him so much more hornier he thought his dick would explode if he didn't cum soon.

As soon as you came down from the high from your orgasm you realized Toby still needed some assistance that's when you saw him sit up and start taking his belt off "I'm going to need you to trust me okay? just say if this is okay alright" he then lifted your arms up above your head using his belt to tie your arms together "is this okay " he asked "mhm" you slurred out still kind of out of it from your orgasm

You then heard him unzipping his pants then pulling his pants and boxers down, His dick basically twitching covered in precum from it being unattended for so long. He then lined himself up to you and before you were prepared he did one hard thrust inside you. N-nhh a-Ah Toby nhh.." His thrusts were slow at first but then became very sloppy and messy. "Mhh Your so t-tight and warm" His breaths becoming more heavier as the time went on.

You felt as if another orgasm was coming on which Toby knew considering how tightly you clenched around him "Oh my g-god your t-taking my dick so-so well baby" You both felt like you were close you cumming first clenching so tight around Toby couldn't help but cum, you both riding out your orgasms with one last thrust.

You both were panting like crazy Toby not pulling out until you both were ready "oh my God that was s-so go-good" You sat up feeling kind of dizzy and out of from just had coming down from your guys orgasms.

Toby helped you get cleaned up and help you get your clothes back on, after all that you both just decided to stay back there and lay down, you played with Toby's curly hair making him eventually fall asleep

You stare out the window once again, the rain has calmed down a bit which has left the outside a hazy foggy night.

Okay I know I said this would be out in a couple days but I got to excited I wrote it today, sorry if its not the best this is my first time writing smut or actually a story at all so if anybody has some ways I could make it better please tell me I feel like I got a little lazy at the end but hopefully you can still enjoy okay bye bye!!

[running-with-kn1ves]

Could you do Orc Tribal Leader X Reader on your wedding night?

A/N: I SWEAR I'm literally just writing the same stuff over again b/c I had a story just like this, but you know what I never get tired of it because its like a top fantasy bro. Hope this one was better than that version at least

Content warnings: Forced Marriage, kidnapping, attempted escapes, nonconsensual touching, infantilization of reader  

Synopsis: Your village, destroyed and burned. Your life picks up somewhere you would never have imagined. Maybe, death is a better option than being an orc’s spouse. 

Word Count: Approx. 2600 

The autumn solstice was a bountiful, beholden time of year. From the greeneries of cabbage and the fowls hatched in summer now fully grown, there was much to be harvested and ripened for the taking. Your town was boisterous, full of life with a variety of competitors and businesses attempting to lurch at any tourist’s or local’s wallet to get them to buy countless crops, meat, and woven goods.  

Your tiny tea shop, suffering from last July’s drought, was finally starting to perk up with re-growth. Black tea, jasmine, bergamot, even hybrid blends like crushed raspberry and chamomile-- you could assemble enough to raise prices, label the small reaping as an imported foreign good luck charm that when drunken, blessed women with marriage prospects and men with wealth.  

That was, before however, you became bound and gagged to a chair, pleasantries being exchanged around you in a language harsh in your ears. The fires... You remember them well, the putrid stench of charred meat from the butcher next door, his body even more ablaze. Your jade boxes of fine silk bags meant for holding gifts of tea, becoming laden with ash and dust. Every scrap of money you saved up under the floorboards disappearing into floating particles and melted coins.  

“Brutes,” Your uncle called them, “deranged beasts with only two things in mind: bloodlust and greed.” 

Orcs were not well-received in a conservative, fearful town of humans. Even the elves, seen as symbols of beauty in mortal standards, were causes of paranoia and irritation whenever they made their rounds nearby.  

It was no wonder that the lines of tusked, olive-fleshed creatures in animal skin were spotted, the guards of your small city went on a rampage. Bows and arrows were no match for iron bones and teeth of steel.  

You, were no match for anything wider than a tree trunk. So when fire caught to your village, your home now rampaged for its finest ‘offerings’ to the orcs, you were left to be eaten by the licking flames. And yet, was it a blessing or a curse that one of the warriors decided to haul you on his back, doting on how “nicely you’ll do” as a wedding gift. You didn’t realize that the gift was to be part of the ceremony yourself.  

With smoke in your lungs and your eyes blurred by dirt and ash, you watched the ceiling cave in on your tiny tea-filled shack, bright orange and red dancing from behind the window panes as you drifted away.  

Daraktan is spoken all around you, harshly and with flicking tongues. You can hear snippets of English, wondering what’s going on behind the black veil covering your head. You don’t dare remove it, recalling what the orc woman, supposedly your now husband’s ‘mother’ telling you in your native tongue.  

“Touch this, and you will surely die. My alfhild will remove it, when it is time.”  

And so, you wait. Digging your fingernails into your palms, crying quietly in heavy furs and leather, the occasional hand coming to pull your shaky one to their mouths, kissing the tip of your index finger.  

“Aka’magosh..” They mumble to you, seemingly more at the body to your right. 

The calloused hand of someone much larger than you, whom you have assumed is your husband from his constant appearance nearby, occasionally comes to grace your back, to rest a hand on the top of your head, to smoothen your veil or the soft fur shawl on your legs.  

His hearty laugh hurts your ears, the jingles of the metal jewelry he adorns constantly making noise as he shifts.  

“Please..” You whisper, praying, to whoever may be listening. Why you? Why, out of all the fair, eligible humans of your town, were you picked out from the rubble to be “saved”? To be married to a faceless orcish man, who would surely break you in half before morning? 

The bitter cold of coming winter brushes against your legs. You can feel that you’re not inside wooden walls, and yet unnatural lighting seems to shine through your veil at times.  

“Omulork, I think I will take my… wedding gift, to be with in solitude.” 

Loud, deep laughs fill the room, the guttural voices of female orcs being swallowed up by uncountable numbers of warriors surrounding you. Your body shivered as a gust of wind blew in, the autumn breeze barely being kept at bay from where you sat.  

“Enjoy the festivities, shedzvagas!”  

His unique husk leaves everyone in the room to cheer in their orcish language, tough and painful pats coming to your back, the festive shakes to your shoulder nearly making you topple. 

That same heated, abrasive hand comes to grab your roped wrists, lurching you firmly, yet gently from your place on the ground. Panic started to fill your stomach as it rose to your chest, the warm aura of an orc next to you radiating to heat you from the chilly weather outside.  

Now. It was now or never. You didn’t want to think anymore what he would do to you when you were alone, when you had no one to cry to for help.  

Your feet moved before the thought finished crossing your mind. Your hands shook as you stumbled in a sprint forward. You passed thick bodies as you ran blindly, making it a mere five steps before a pair of meaty hands grabbed you by the hips. 

“A feisty one, Gar’mak!” The sounds of the orc woman who forced you into your wedding attire spoke up, a drunken laugh leaving her plump lips. “Alfhild, better not leave it out of your sight.” 

You hated how clear the English they used was to your ears, how human they all sounded, how when they spoke in your native tongue-- it was meant for your ears. She wanted you to know, to let the fear soak into your chattering teeth.  

The orc keeping you captive merely laughed, tossing your weightless body to his shoulder just like he had done when pulling you from the cobble of what was left of your tea shop. 

You screamed, biting down on what you could reach from under your veil. But the salty, thick flesh from beneath you was aloof, offering no reaction as a double pat was brought to your buttocks.  

“Now now, Djenifor, don’t fuss.” Gar’mak mused, each step he took forward making your body thump against his. He held a tight grip on you, not caring for the scratches you layered his back with. “I won’t try to hurt you… I will keep you safe, try my best to keep your fragile body in one piece.”  

The coldening night air was a drastic change to the room of heavy body heat and weighty movement where the wedding ritual and festivities were held. Now, it was quiet. You could hear the loud chattering begin to drift, songs and chants rising again as they once had when you were unceremoniously married to your new ‘husband.’  

Gar’mak patted your butt again, moving down to rub at the back of your thigh with a gentle, firm rhythm. He seemed to hum to himself, satisfied with the nights events. Scored himself a spouse and the treasured belongings of a human town.  

He must be pretty proud of himself, you seethed.  

The tears were beginning to sting the corners of your eyes, frantically scratching at the orcs back when you felt the warmth of an enclosed area meet your skin.  

“No, no--” You began to kick, trying to shove off the arm holding you steady on the orcs’ shoulder.  

“Settle down now--” Gar’mak ordered softly, putting you down on the fuzzy ground. You managed to hit his face, the hard scrape of tusks scratching your hand as a firm nose nearly cracked your knuckles.  

The orc went silent. Quiet in rage, he rips your veil away with a grip hard enough to tear hair out if he so desired.  

Your eyes take a moment to adjust to the dimly lit tent, lanterns glowing at the corners as the mass of a creature leers over you. You forgot just how… big, orcs were. From afar they looked small, bigger than a human, but no threat due to distance. But now… he was above you, twice your height, twice your size, twice if not thrice everything. His palm the size of your skull, his eyes gleaming and looking over your body, weak with exhaustion and fright.  

Small, intentional scars were placed under his auburn eyes, some kind of tribe symbol you were sure. Thick eyebrows furrowed at the way tears decorated your cheeks, the exhales from his flat nose blowing hot breath on your chest.  

“Please, I, I can’t, I don’t belong--” You fumble over yourself, trying to slide back on the floor of soft wolf and caribou furs.  

“Shh, shh now,” The orc puts a hand to your ankle, an action that jerks you to a stop. “I won’t hurt you, lebam…” 

You sincerely doubt that, but the sentiment sounds genuine from his broken, baritone voice. 

“What’s your name?” He asks, pulling slowly with immeasurable strength at your leg. You slide towards him with little strain, even with your muscles going rigid for you to stand your place, your fingernails digging into the ground beneath you.  

You shake out your name, reluctant to give it.  

“Ah. What a human name; a scared wee human, aren’t you?” 

You don’t dare to respond, waiting for the sound of your snapping ankle. 

“They call me Gar’mak, though that may be too difficult for simple human brains. Mak is fine, little Djenifor…” 

You don’t want to call him anything, to refer to him at all-- yet, he looks keen to hear you say it. There’s an expectation in his eyes, a flick of his giant tongue against his lips.  

“Mak..” You mumble, trying not to gag.  

“Yes…” The orc’s hand frees your leg, caressing up to your cheek as he wipes away a forgotten wet stream of tears.  

“Please, just let me go--” You beg under your breath, scared of the way he seems to be eyeing your knees, your frail neck, your round ears.  

“You know that’s not going to happen,” He doesn’t seem angry at you for asking, just… Sorry. “We are bound forever now; even the gods couldn’t tear us apart. Wherever you go, I will find you. Whenever I leave, you will feel me gone. By sunrise tomorrow your scars will be given, and you will become one of us.”  

The panic begins to settle once again in your stomach. Maybe, tonight, yes-- tonight, if you could escape. You could-- just maybe you could find a way, past their all-seeing eyes, their all-hearing ears, escape to the mountains they took to get you here. 

 “But can’t you change it back?” Your voice cracks, expression twisting into an ugly cry as you feel thick fingers dig into your hair. “Just, we can go back-- just let me be…”  

You sob for what feels like too long, hours maybe, Gar’mak’s eyes never leaving you as he pulls you to his thigh. He brings a cotton blanket to your legs as he shushes you, the tenderness of his eyes a foreign sight compared to the façade he forced you to endure during the night's festivities.  

When your cries had turned to miserable, quiet sniffles, a muscled knuckle finds its way under your chin. He turns your head to look at him, eyes red and droopy as you try to think of any method of escape.  

“You’ll learn to like it here, human.” Gar’mak thinks for a moment, caressing your leg with a single finger.  

 “We are far more civilized than your kind-- far more… Fair. You’ll be treated well. The spouses of warriors do not go unfed, unbathed. Unloved, most of all. You will be cherished; I will cherish you, as long as you let me.”  

The orc grips your jaw in his hand, firm enough to where his fingers made dimples in your cheeks, but softly to where you felt like a mouse in someone’s closing palm. A kiss was planted to your temple, your body pushed deep against your husband’s as he holds you close enough to suffocate. You wait for him to choke life from you, and yet it never comes. He is harsh with his touches, but not harsh enough to hurt.  

“Please, let's finish tonight how it was meant to go, hm? Let me hold you…” He murmurs, all soft and lamblike into your ear. It sends shivers down to your soles, hot breath layering your neck as he looks at your lips with such intensity.  

You fear saying no, but the word rises up to your throat.  

It doesn’t make it out in time. Lips engulf yours, the stiff coldness of bone-colored tusks brushing against your face as Gar’mak holds you tight. Just one kiss is enough to make his demeanor act up.  

Your unassuming, comfort-driven spot on his lap is altered swiftly. You find yourself straddling the orcs’ waist, a hand pressed against the back of your head as your tied hands remain useless against his chest.  

You don’t know whether to speak, to scream, to bite at his lips-- but you remain flexile, afraid of the rough hand holding your skull so tenderly, the other gripping your thigh to wrap around his flank. You’re like a resistant doll, licked lips becoming tender as the orc pushes against you with such tenacity.  

You see his eyes open, staring into your wide, unblinking ones. They seem to communicate more than just lust-- its desire, desire for your reciprocation.  

Gar’mak waits… he kisses you, eyes narrowed on standby for your submission. They’re hazy and make you wonder if this is enough to make him release his brutish side, the part that showed no mercy for your neighbors or your home. What would happen, if you broke away or dared to claw at him?  

That thought doesn’t stay for long, not when the tough hand on the back of your head moves to your neck, squeezing just enough to bruise.  

You wince, lips pursing in reaction just in time for his next tongued assault.  

That slight opening of your mouth, the press of your lips against his, is all he needed. You find yourself twisted beneath his body as you’re brought to lay on the furry floor, the orc lying above you.  

“That’s right, I’ll be soft Djenifor… just do as I command, keep smelling so sweetly for me.” 

Scars litter his shoulders and collarbone, metal necklaces and piercings dangling on his olive-green, lightly haired chest as you fear how much it would take for him to crush you.  

He’s so quiet, letting go of your mouth as the orc’s curled tongue licks a slow, wet stripe down your jaw. His hands grab your thighs to wrap your legs around him, intent on keeping you steady and so close you practically breathe the same air.  

Before he leans to kiss you feverishly again, the orc brushes your cheek with his knuckles, petting down the amalgamated fabrics you wear to commemorate your wedding.  

 “You’re so lucky I found you first, that I had saved you from that rubble without layering an extra scratch; my brethren would not be so kind.”  

He kisses your cheek, a soft, hungry grin playing on his plumped and tusked lips. “So stay pliant like this for me, wee human, and you won’t feel any pain.” 

You lay rigidly, squeezing your eyes shut as a tender, all-consuming kiss eats you up, preparing you for the night’s affairs.  

[mechanisedbrainrot]

MECHANISMS REF IMAGE MASTERPOST

Okay, so I put together refs for each of the mechs as best I can. I tried to avoid anything in a show lighting, but sometimes it can't be helped. Notes will be underneath each section

Whole cast

Ivy is the only character leaning on the wall in the second image, but is roughly as tall as Ashes

Jonny D'Ville

Jonny in earlier shows like TTBT wears a black shirt underneath instead of the white. He occasionally has red or black painted nails and his goggles are either black or bronze. He has a black 7 of diamonds. He often holds a mic - which is a Shure Super 55

Drumbot Brian

He usually has just the flower in his hat, but sometimes it's replaced with RAM or his drumsticks. His goggle has a very small crack at the base. The rings seem to be a bit of a motherboard and screws? The visible heart is something I can only find in one picture, but it's cool

Gunpowder Tim

Sometimes wears jeans instead of dark brown trousers. His eye scars are more geometric than Jonny's, and he has dark eye shadow around the eyes where Jonny uses just eyeliner

Raphaella la Cognizi

The top is three layers: a white/cream shirt, a brown puffy shirt and a a top layer which has a halter neck. Occasionally one or both of the undershirts won't be worn (see HNOC liveshow). Tights can be blue or black. Light up wings from DTTM

The leggings/tights are sometimes black and sometimes deep blue

Ivy Alexandria

A few different outfits, in liveshows they're also wearing some outfits not shown here - but always black and red with a waistcoat of some kind.

Nastya Rasputina

The necklace is a little cat :3

Marius von Raum

Kneepads in DTTM. The cards are a jack and ace of hearts. Necktie either has a white or gold pattern on it, but they don't always wear it. The green jacket has a tailcoat

The Toy Soldier

Hair varies a lot. Sometimes it's worn down, in a ponytail or hidden under the hat. Sometimes nails are painted red or black

Ashes O'Reilly

In live shows they often wear this eyeliner which has thick bars that go behind the ears - but I couldn't find any clear pictures of this. Though their outfits changes, always mostly black with some red in the hair

Dr Carmilla post can be found here

I hope this was in some way helpful to anyone who wants to draw the mechanisms. If you have questions feel free to ask me in the ask box and I will do my best to answer them and provide some photos <3 have a great day

[aurumalatus]

kinich x fem!reader, major character death, angst without a happy ending, based off of this concept and with a line referencing this post, wc 600

When Kinich dies, he thinks of the trees.

There’s a certain kind that you always liked the most—dark wood with rough trunks that you could carve into, with emerald leaves that you would pluck from the branch as you flew by. You were always drawn to the nature surrounding the village, loving with the Saurians and admiring the flora and fauna.

He remembers the warmth of you, your heartbeat pressed against his in the inky darkness, the closeness of it all. 

“Ajaw,” he coughs, blood splattering the ground. It’s a sick sort of Rorscach test—Kinich briefly thinks that he can see your face among the crimson blots, or maybe your smile. He traces it with a tender hand.

“...Yes?”

He licks over his teeth, tasting the gore there. 

“Please take care of her.”

A rawness settles in his throat, layered among the taste of ash and iron. 

And, to his own credit, Ajaw listens closely as Kinich leans back against the rock, one hand pressed to the gash in his stomach as he carefully lists out his instructions.

There’s a letter sitting in your desk drawer, one that he penned to you before he left. You hate that he does that—it feels like a goodbye, you always say. He doesn’t have the heart to tell you that it could be one, every time.

And this time, it is.

Kinich thinks he’s always been a bit unlucky in his life.

He wants to tell you a lot of things.

The letter should’ve been longer, he thinks. There are so, so many things he should’ve told you before it was too late. But truthfully, he had been dishonest with himself; he never wanted to believe that he’d run out of time.

He wants to tell you that he carved your initials into that tree by your home. It had been on a day when he watched you pick flowers in the meadow outside, a wicker basket tucked under your arm and a daisy threaded behind your ear. Your beauty had hypnotized him to leave a remnant of his awe behind.

When you miss him, he hopes you’ll go find it—the wood will still burn warm, he’s sure.

He hopes that you’ll reread the letters he wrote, that the ink won’t ever dry, that his love will keep the words wet on the page. And, in that way, he will be alive.

And, nestled in the bottom of his sock drawer, a small velvet box. He’d planned it for the day he returned, for the day he would awaken to see your bright smile again and feel the sun rise into his hands, anew.

But the Night Kingdom’s darkness is overwhelming.

He sighs.

At the very least, he hopes that you won’t forget.

Everyone tells him that his strength is in his speed, and he’s grown used to living his whole life that way—always on the run, always on the edge, always leaving something behind.

Long ago, before he had even become acquainted with you, it had been his innocence. When he met Ajaw, his freedom. After everything, he abandons his old, weaker self (or, at least, he tries) and moves on, a snake molting its skin. But sometimes, he finds that he can’t quite let everything go—sometimes, he finds that the remnants stick to him like tendrils of smoke, a heady scent that just won’t quite let go.

He hopes that his devotion doesn’t end up cursing you in the end.

As Kinich slips away, it’s your name on his lips.

[st4rfckerz]

Town Tramp | Anakin Skywalker x reader

word count: 2.5k

warnings: mdni 18+, sub!ani, dubcon (?), handjob, oral (male receiving), virginity loss

summary: Anakin has only lived in the small town of Meadowgrove for a few months and is already making new friends.

a/n: thank you all for being so patient with me while i took this little break, i really needed it 😭 but with that i’m very sure i’ll be posting normally very very soon.

The sun rises above the horizon, casting a warm haze over the quaint little town of Meadowgrove. Anakin Skywalker leaned against the counter of the local diner, chatting quietly with one of the cooks. He’d only been living in the small city for a little over three months, but he was already growing fond of its charm.

After exchanging a few final words, Anakin pushed open the door of the small restaurant, the bright summer sun blinding him, causing him to shield his eyes with his large hand. He glanced across the vacant sidewalk before spotting you casually walking along, your fingers opening a pack of cigarettes. As you stopped to pick a cigarette out of the box, a loud, obnoxious engine roared to life, accompanied by a chorus of rowdy laughter. A red, dilapidated pickup truck full of young men came speeding around the corner, the smell of old gasoline in the air. With a triumphant yell, one of the passengers threw a half-empty beer bottle out the window, aiming directly at you, its contents splattering across your shirt and legs.

Anakin's heart leaped into his throat as he watched the bottle arch through the air. It landed with a thud at your feet, followed by a chorus of degrading names and crude laughter. Your eyes flashed with anger, and without hesitation, you flipped the truck's occupants off as they sped away. Anakin marched forward, his strong hands balled into fists.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice a soft rumble.

“Yeah ‘m fine,” you respond, angrily wiping the spilled beer off your skin. Your gaze flicked to Anakin for a moment, and you couldn't help but take a second look. A small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. “Do I know you?” you say as you squint your eyes at him.

“Not that I know of,” Anakin replied, sticking his hands in his pockets. “I've only been here for a few months. Just moved in from a farm on the outskirts.” He glanced down at your pack of cigarettes, then back up at your face, unsure how to proceed. “Do you need help with that?” he asked, gesturing to the cigarette between your fingers. You smiled, your eyes meeting his as you bent down to meet the flame.

“Thanks,” you said, inhaling deeply, giving him your name shortly after. Your voice was smooth, like honey. Anakin flicked the lighter with a practiced ease, his face serious as he watched your lips part. “Anakin,” he replied, feeling his cheeks heat up slightly. He took a step back, unsure of what to say next.

“Well, I should get goin’,” you said, your eyes never wavering from Anakin's. “I'll see you around.”

“Wait,” He hesitated, concern lacing his face. “I don’t think it's safe for you to walk home by yourself,” he explains softly. You nodded, your smile returning as you tapped the ashes off the cigarette.

“Alright.” you said, taking one last drag before dropping it to the ground and crushing it beneath your boot. You started walking, your hair moving gently as you walked, reminding the boy of wildflowers swaying in the breeze. Anakin fell into step behind you, his own boots clicking against the pavement. “So, how long have you been in Meadowgrove?” he asked, trying to break the silence.

“Since I was a little girl,”you replied, glancing over your shoulder at him with a playful grin. “What did you move to this lousy town for?”

Anakin shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Just needed a change of pace.”

You chuckled, crossing your arms in front of you. “A change of pace can be good,” you agreed. “I like the quiet here, but it can also be a little lonely.”

Anakin nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I've been keeping to myself mostly. It's tough to meet people.”

“Not anymore,” you smile, your eyes gleaming in the light. “Now you've got a walking companion.”

Your small conversation flowed easily in between the comfortable silence you fell into, the stillness of the town around you broken only by the occasional chirp of a lone mockingbird.

Eventually, you arrived at a small, white house nestled between two others. It had a porch with two lonely chairs and an american flag hung up in the window.

“Well, here we are, I hope you weren’t expectin’ Buckingham palace.” you announce, stopping in front of the withered porch. “Thank you for the walk, Anakin.” He smiled, feeling a sense of satisfaction in knowing he'd been able to help you.

“Anytime. It was nice meeting you-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you gently grabbed his arm, your fingers barely brushing against the fabric of his flannel.

“Hey wait,” you chirp, your voice soft and inviting. “Do you wanna come in for a minute? It’s so hot, I can’t just let you tread back in the heat without a drink or something.”

He swallowed, his gaze flicking to your lips before meeting your eyes once more. “O-okay.” he finally replies, his voice barely above a whisper.

The rickety screen door swung shut behind them, revealing a quaint, rustic living room. Vintage furniture filled the space, each piece well-loved and showing the signs of a life well-lived. A soft, plush couch sat near the fireplace, its floral print inviting. A rocking chair sat in the corner, a knitted blanket draped over the armrest. The walls were adorned with framed photographs and paintings, each one telling a story of your past. A wooden coffee table sat in the center, surrounded by a few mismatched chairs.

“What’ll you have?” you ask as you head towards the illuminated kitchen. Anakin stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, rocking anxiously back and forth on his heels. He found himself admiring the intricate detailing on the wooden table.

“Water’s fine.” He says with a tight smile. You soon returned with two glasses of ice-cold water, Anakin's eyes flicked to yours. “Thanks.” he muttered, taking the glass from your hands.

You sit on the plush couch, patting the seat next to you. “Come sit down, I don’t bite.” you joke, a smile playing on your lips as you settle in. Anakin did as you suggested, feeling the softness of the couch envelop him. He glanced around the room, taking in the cozy atmosphere.

“So, where are you headed when you leave here?” you ask, your curiosity piqued. Anakin swallowed the last of his water, setting the glass down on the coffee table.

“I don’t know, maybe just wander around for a bit, get some fresh air before bed.”

You nodded, sipping your water. “Well, if you ever need a companion on your wanders, you know where to find me.” Anakin smiled, feeling a sense of ease as he gazed at you.

“I'll keep that in mind,” he replied, his heart warming at the thought of spending more time with you. You pulled your knees sideways on the couch, resting your head on your hand propped on the back of the couch as you stared at Anakin. As you shifted in your seat, your cleavage was momentarily revealed, catching Anakin's eye. His heart skipped a beat, and he felt his cheeks flush with heat. He quickly stood up, his movements a little too abrupt. “I uh, I should get going.” he said, his voice a bit strained.

You looked up at him, confusion in your sweet eyes. “So soon?” you asked, tilting your head to the side. Anakin fumbled with his words, his mind racing with any possible excuses.

“Yeah I gotta head back, can’t leave my folks waiting for too long y’know.” he replied with a nervous chuckle, his gaze darting around the room. You smiled knowingly.

“I’m sure they’re fine, you don’t wanna leave me here alone do you?” you teased, your eyes never leaving his. He hesitated for a moment, the heat in his cheeks refusing to subside. But your playful smile and the warmth of the room proved too enticing. Slowly, he settled back onto the couch, his body easing into its familiar position.

You chuckled softly, your hand brushing against his as you scooted closer. “There you go.” your voice a content hum.

Anakin sat stiffly on the couch, his nerves still on edge. You noticed his discomfort and reached over to gently squeeze his forearm. “Relax, Anakin.” you coo, your voice smooth as honey. His muscles slowly began to unclench, the tension draining away under your touch. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, his body finally relaxing into the plush couch.

As Anakin relaxed, his eyes fluttered shut, surrendering to the calm that enveloped him. His breathing evened out, and the tension in his body dissipated. But as his mind finally began to clear itself, a bulge began to form in his jeans.

You noticed the change, your smile widening. You shifted closer to him, your warm breath brushing against his ear. "I think you're enjoying yourself more than you thought, Anakin," you whispered, your hand gently brushing against his bulge.

His eyes snap open as he jerked away from your body.

“I didn’t- I’m so sorry, I’ll get going-” he stammered, his face a fiery red. You placed a gentle hand on Anakin's shoulder, your touch soothing.

“It's okay,” you coo, your voice soft and reassuring. “There's no need to be embarrassed.” You leaned in closer, your lips brushing against his ear as you spoke softly.

“Let me take care of you.”

Anakin's breath hitched, his heart pounding in his chest. He knew he should say no, but the temptation was too great. Anakin’s eyes peered down to your hand, and to his own surprise, he found himself slowly nodding his head.

“Just relax.” You whisper, your fingers deftly unbuttoning his jeans. Anakin's breath caught in his throat as you slide your hand inside his pants, your touch gentle yet firm. He leaned back against the couch, his eyes fluttering shut as you began to stroke him through his boxers. Anakin's body responded to your touch, his hips bucking impatiently into your hand.

You obliged by pushing Anakin's boxers just beneath his balls, revealing his leaking cock.

“Aw baby, look at you,” You leaned forward, your spit landing right on his enraged tip. The cool glob felt like heaven against his heated skin. Anakin's body jerked, his head falling back against the couch as he let out a soft whine. His grip on the armrests tightened, his knuckles turning white.

“You feelin’ okay, sweet boy?” Your free hand reached up to caress Anakin's cheek, your touch gentle as you leaned in to kiss him softly.

His eyes fluttered open, meeting yours for a moment before closing again. “Y-yeah,” he groaned, his voice thick with need.

You increased your pace, your hand pumping his cock with feverish intensity. As you leaned forward once more, your lips slowly enveloped the head of his cock, your warm mouth enveloping him.

Anakin's back arched, his entire body trembling as you took him deeper down your throat. Your tongue swirled around the sensitive tip as your hand continuing to stroke the base.

Anakin didn't know what to do with his hands, his brain hazy with pleasure. Eventually, he reached out and gently rested his hands on the back of your head, his fingers carefully threading through your hair. The tension in Anakin's body tightened, his hips bucking up greedily into your mouth and soft whimpers leaving his lips as he felt himself getting closer and closer.

Anakin whined softly, his body trembling as he felt the edge nearing. “I’m so, ah- I’m s-so close.” he whimpered, his grip on your hair tightening. Sensing his urgency, you pulled your mouth off his aggravated cock, your lips glistening with saliva.

“Not yet,” you warn him. Anakin's brows furrowed, his body still quivering with need. “You’re too pretty to let go of so soon.”

You stood up and gracefully removed your shorts and underwear. You straddled his lap, your warm, wet cunt teasingly close to his throbbing erection.

Anakin's heart raced, his eyes drinking in the sight of your exposed body. “I haven't done this before,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. You smiled, your hand stilling for a moment.

“It's okay,” you reassured him, your voice gentle. “Do you still want to?” Anakin nodded, his heart pounding in his chest.

He hums a ‘mhm’ his voice firm despite the nerves that coursed through him. You slowly lowered yourself onto him, your warmth enveloping him completely. Anakin let out a shaky breath, his hands gripping your hips as you began to move. The sensation was unlike anything he'd ever experienced, every nerve in his body alight with electricity.

You rode him slowly at first, your movements smooth and deliberate. You leaned forward and your lips brushing against his as you began to pick up the pace. Anakin's body responded to your touch, his hips rising to meet yours.

Anakin whimpered underneath you and his head tipped back against the back of the couch. You felt his hands finding their way to your hips, his fingers digging into your soft flesh as he began to gently guide your movements. Anakin's body tensed, his breaths coming in ragged gasps. He could feel his orgasm building once more, the hot burn coiling within him, just waiting to snap.

“I’m- I’m so close,” he gasped, his grip on your hips tightening. You increased your pace, your movements quick and precise.

“I know sweetheart. Be a good boy and make me cum with you.” you muse from above him. Your words set off the final spark, and Anakin's body convulsed as he released inside your cunt. Your own orgasm followed close behind, your body shuddering as you rode out your climax.

“That was-” The sound of the front door opening jolted the both of you back to reality. Your heart leapt into your throat as you heard your father's voice, speaking about coming home early from work. Anakin's eyes widened, his body instantly tense.

You quickly hopped off Anakin’s lap, your heart pounding as you scrambled to cover yourself. Your father strode into the living room, his expression changing from exhaustion to pure anger.

“What in the world do you think you're doing?” he demanded, his eyes narrowing as they landed on Anakin. His face paled, his heart sinking as he realized the gravity of the situation.

Your father's anger boiled over, his voice a bellow as he ordered, “Get out of my house!” Anakin scrambled to pull up his pants, his movements hurried and clumsy as he tried to leave. You were too stunned to move and watched as he fumbled with the zipper.

In his haste, Anakin tripped on the rug, his body crashing forward as he tried to catch himself. The fall sent him tumbling out the front door, his body landing on the porch with a thud.

“And I don’t wanna see you around here anymore!” Your father slammed the door shut, leaving Anakin alone on the porch. His face burned with embarrassment, but he forced himself to his feet to finish pulling up his pants. Anakin brushed the dirt from the front of his pants and went on his merry way.

The walk back felt like an eternity, his thoughts whirling while he tried to make sense of the situation. The town that had once felt like a haven now seemed to mock him, the houses standing tall and judgmental as he made his way back to his humble abode.

[kaijutegu]

Today was supposed to be Kaiju's birthday. Her tenth year with me and what was presumed to be her 11th birthday. (However, upon necropsy, the vet determined through bone density and ontogenic changes/suture fusion she was likely significantly older- closer to 16/17 than 10, like I thought. She really was a tiny thing, so petite.)

Instead, it's not. I still had her party, and Nakajima ate her treats with gusto. But I realized- I never shared her memorials here, and I thought you'd like to see them.

I had some of her ashes made into palm stones, and some of them made into a necklace that I always wear unless I'm sleeping, swimming, or doing something really sweaty and anything around my neck would be uncomfortable.

I still have a ton of then- eleven pounds of lizard makes a lot of ashes. I've been scattering them in small amounts at places she loved- my parents' creek and the pool area, Kankakee Sands, the grounds of the Nature Museum where we had Junior Herpers meetings. The park where we walked. School. I'd like to scatter some in Homestead, where she was born- just a cheeky thing, since she was legally barred from ever returning.

I'm sad, and I'll always miss her. She couldn't possibly have known how big a difference she'd make in my life. When I opened that box all those years ago, I had no idea what was about to happen. I wouldn't have met two of my best human friends without her. I wouldn't have gotten as involved with herp society without her. And my work there has helped me find meaning when my job and degree have not. She gave me the courage and confidence to push myself way outside of my comfort zone. She taught me so much about the value of taking risks and opening your heart. I know how overdramatic I sound, but she really was my world. And in some way I really do think she's with me, helping me raise Nakajima and encourage her to be just as curious and just as sweet. Like I said, I'm sad, but... there are a lot of experiences in my life I regret. A ton of relationships I wish I could go back and just undo. But not this one. I regret nothing and every minute I had with her was worth it.

Anyways. Just thought you'd like to see the memorials. Tune in in a few minutes to see Nakajima absolutely obliterating some delicious treats.

[f0ofishies]

smoker!eren, you didn't smoke infact you absolutely hated the stench. But, Eren was your roommate.. so you had dealt with it for awhile now.

It was the end of your shift in that part time job, you dropped your shoes, keys into the small box you had decorated at the front entrance. Then. . you finally smelt it. That cigarette stench in the living room.

The brown haired men, tilting his fingers to shake off the ashes of the blunt. You huffed and finally appeared infront of him, blocking the TV. "What did I say, about the cigarettes?" You crossed your arms looking, infuriated.

"What, pretty. . .?" He acted so innocent as he huffed another of that disgusting puff. You grumbled shaking your head. That deep voice of his isn't gonna sway you away. "Not in the damn living room, 'ren. . ."

He chuckled, his head staring up.. those deep green eyes of his staring at you made you quiver. You were pouting like a little child, he couldn't help but be prideful. "Can't help myself when they help me out, y'know?"

"Shit– r. .ren..!" You were crumbling so easily under his tongue. That damn tongue piercing nudging at your skin. Your walls clenching underneath his face. The lewd noises bouncing off the walls, your back against the couch– half of your attire messed up.

Eren groaned once more as he lapped up his tongue again, fuck him and his skilled tongue on you. You pulled at his scalp, moaning out his name once more. "Spread yourself more, hmm?" Your legs over his broad shoulders, his tatted arms tugging at your thighs.

"Ffuck– just the taste of. . this sweet little pussy helps me out.. aye..? better than that fucking blunt. ." Right. . . forgot to mention you and Eren are fwb.

[anipgarden]

Things to Do that Aren't Related to Growing Plants

This is my second post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps! 

Some of us just don’t have much luck when it comes to growing plants. Some of us simply want to aim for other ways to help that don’t involve putting on gardening gloves. Maybe you've already got a garden, but you want to do more. No problem! There’s a couple of options you can look into that’ll help attract wildlife in your area without even having to bring out any shovels!

Provide a Water Source

Oftentimes when I see ‘add a water source’ in informational articles about improving your backyard for wildlife, it’s almost always followed by an image of a gorgeous backyard pond with a waterfall and rock lining that looks expensive to set up, difficult to maintain, and overall just… not feasible for me. Arguably, not feasible for a lot of people. And that’s okay! There’s still ways to add water in your garden for all kinds of creatures to enjoy!

There’s tons of ways to create watering stations for insects like bees and butterflies. A self refilling dog bowl can work wonders! Add some stones into the receiving tray for insects to land on or use to climb out, and you’ve got a wonderful drinking spot for all kinds of insects! You can also fill a saucer or other dish with small stones and fill it, though it’ll likely need refilling daily or even several times a day during hot times. 

I've seen people online use all kinds of things to make water features. Some go with terra-cotta pots, pebbles, and a cheap pump to get a small and simple fountain. Others use old tires, clay, and a hole in the ground to create an in-ground mini pond system. If all else fails, even a bucket or watertight box with a few plants in it can do the trick--though do be wary of mosquitoes if the water isn’t moving. In situations like these, a solar-powered fountain pump or bubbler are great for keeping the water moving while still making it a drinking option for wildlife (it not even more appealing for some)--and these items can be obtained fairly cheap online!

Bird baths are an option as well--a classic way to provide for birds in your area, they can be easy to find online or in a gardening store! The only downside is that a good, quality bird bath can be pricey up-front. However, a nice stone bird bath should last a long time, be easy to clean and refill, and be enjoyed by many birds! I’ve also seen tutorials on how to make your own with quickcrete! Bird baths will be a welcome sight to birds, as they provide a space for them to drink and bathe to regulate the oils in their feathers for flight and insulation. Putting a stone in the middle will also help insects to escape if they fall in, and provide a place to perch so they can get their own drink. You’ll want to change the water and clean the baths regularly--as often as once a week, if you can manage it.

If possible, it’s highly encouraged to fill and refill water features with rainwater instead of tap water. Tap water is often treated, so instead of using hoses or indoor kitchen water, collecting some rainwater is a great alternative. Collecting rainwater can be as simple as leaving cups, bins, or pots outside for awhile.

Butterflies and other creatures will also drink from mud puddles. If you can maintain an area of damp soil mixed with a small amount of salt or wood ash, this can be fantastic for them! Some plants also excel at storing water within their leaves and flowers (bromeliads come to mind), making them an excellent habitat for amphibians as well as a drinking spot for insects and birds.

Bird Feeders and Bird Houses

Some of the fancy, decorated bird feeders are expensive, but others can be pretty low-cost--I got my bird feeder from Lowe’s for around 10 dollars, and a big bag of birdseed was around another 10 dollars and has lasted several refills! If you don’t mind occasionally buying more birdseed, a single birdfeeder can do a lot to attract and support local birds! If you’re handy, have some spare wood, and have or can borrow some tools, you may even be able to find instructions online to make your own feeder. You may not even need wood to do so! Even hummingbird feeders, I’ve found, are quick to attract them, as long as you keep them stocked up on fresh sugar water in the spring and summer!

An important note with bird feeders is that you have to make sure you can clean them regularly. Otherwise, they may become a vector for disease, and we want to avoid causing harm whenever possible. Also keep an ear out and track if there’s known outbreaks of bird diseases in your area. If local birding societies and scientists are advising you take your birdfeeders down for awhile, by all means, do it!

Bird houses are naturally paired with bird feeders as biodiversity promoters for backyard spaces, and it makes sense. Having bird houses suited to birds in your area promotes them to breed, raise their young, disperse seeds, and generally engage in your surrounding environment. Setting them up takes careful selection or construction, preparation, and some patience, but sooner or later you might get some little homemakers! Keep in mind, you will need to clean your birdhouses at least once a year (if not once per brood) to make sure they’re ready and safe for birds year after year--you wouldn’t want to promote disease and parasites, after all. But they could be a valuable option for your landscape, whether you purchase one or construct your own! 

Again, do make sure you're putting up the right kind of boxes for the right kinds of birds. Bluebird boxes are some I see sold most commonly, but in my area I believe they're not even all that common--a nesting box for cardinals or chickadees would be far more likely to see success here! And some birds don't even nest in boxes--robins and some other birds are more likely to use a nesting shelf, instead! Research what birds live in your area, take note of any you see around already, and pick a few target species to make homes for!

Solitary Bee Houses

A bee house or bee hotel is a fantastic way to support the solitary bees in your area! For a few dollars and some annual cleaning, you can buy a solitary bee house from most big box nurseries. Alternatively, you can make one at home, with an array of materials you may already have lying around! You can even make them so that they’ll benefit all kinds of insects, and not necessarily just bees.

Though you don’t even necessarily have to break out the hammer and nails, buy a ton of bricks, or borrow a staple gun. Making homes for tunneling bees can be as simple as drilling holes in a log and erecting it, or drilling holes in stumps and dead trees on your property. You might even attract some woodpeckers by doing this!

Providing Nesting Area

There are tons of different kinds of bees, and they all make different kinds of homes for themselves. Not all of them make big cavity hives like honey bees, or will utilize a solitary bee house. Bumblebees live in social hives underground, particularly in abandoned holes made by rodents--some others nest in abandoned bird nests, or cavities like hollow logs, spaces between rocks, compost piles, or unoccupied birdhouses. Borer, Ground, and Miner bees dig into bare, dry soil to create their nests. Sparsely-vegetated patches of soil in well-drained areas are great places to find them making their nests, so providing a similar habitat somewhere in the garden can encourage them to come! I do talk later in this document about mulching bare soil in a garden--however, leaving soil in sunny areas and south-facing slopes bare provides optimal ground nesting habitat. Some species prefer to nest at the base of plants, or loose sandy soil, or smooth-packed and flat bare ground. They’ve also been known to take advantage of soil piles, knocked over tree roots, wheel ruts in farm roads, baseball diamonds and golf course sand traps. You can create nesting ground by digging ditches or creating nesting mounds in well-drained, open, sunny areas with sandy or silty soil. However, artificially constructed ground nests may only have limited success. 

Providing Alternative Pollinator Foods

Nectar and pollen aren’t the only foods sought out by some pollinators! Some species of butterflies are known to flock to overripe fruit or honey water, so setting these out can be an excellent way to provide food to wildlife. You may want to be cautious about how you set these out, otherwise it can help other wildlife, like ants or raccoons. Butterflies may also drop by to visit a sponge in a dish of lightly salted water. 

Bat Houses and Boxes

Big or small, whether they support five bats or five hundred, making bat boxes and supporting local bats is a great way to boost biodiversity! Not only will they eat mosquitoes and other pest species, but you may also be able to use the guano (bat droppings) as fertilizer! Do be careful if you choose to do that though--I’ve never had the opportunity to, so do some research into how strong it is and use it accordingly.

Provide Passageway Points

If you want your area to be more accessible for creatures that can’t fly or climb fences, allowing or creating access points can be an excellent way to give them a way in and out. Holes in the bottom of walls or fences can be sheltered with plants to allow animals through. 

In a somewhat similar manner, if you’re adding a water fixture, it’s important to provide animals a way to get into and out of the pond--no way in, and they can’t use the water. No way out, and they may drown. Creating a naturalistic ramp out of wood beams or sticks, or stepped platforms out of bricks, stones, or logs can do the trick. 

Get or Keep Logs and Brush Piles

I’ve already mentioned logs a good handful of times so far in this post. To be used as access ramps, or as nesting areas for solitary bees. But they have value as much more than that! Logs on the ground provide shelter for all kinds of animals, especially depending on size--anything from mice, reptiles, and amphibians to things like turkey vultures and bears will use fallen logs as shelter. Inside of a decaying log, there’s a lot of humidity, so amphibians are big fans of them--meanwhile, the upper sides of them can be used as sunning platforms by things like lizards. Other animals can also use the insides of logs as nest sites and hiding places from predators too big to fit inside. Fungi, spiders, beetles, termites, ants, grubs, worms, snails, slugs, and likely much more can be found inside rotting logs, using the rotting wood as food sources or nesting places. They can then provide food for mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and birds. They can also be regarded as a landmark or territory marker as wildlife get more familiar with your space.

So how do you get logs for cheap? Try Chip Drop! I talk about them more in a future post, but you can mark saying that you’d like logs in your drop, so they’ll give you any they have! In fact, you may even get a drop faster if you're willing to accept some logs. You may also be able to approach arborists you see working in your area and ask for logs. There may also be local online listings for people selling logs for cheap, or just trying to get rid of them. If there’s land development going on near you, you may be able to snag logs from trees they cut down to make space. Do keep in mind, you don’t need to have huge gigantic logs laying around your property to make an impact--even small logs can help a lot.

If possible, creating and leaving brush piles on the edge of your property can be a great boost to biodiversity--even if you may not see the wildlife using it. They’ll provide shelter from weather and predators, and lower portions are cool and shady for creatures to avoid the hot sun. The upper layers can be used as perch sites and nest sites for song birds, while lower layers are resting sites for amphibians and reptiles, and escape sites for many mammals. As the material decays, they also attract insects, and as such they’ll attract insect-eating animals too. As more small animals find refuse in your brush pile, their predators will be attracted to them as well. Owls, hawks, foxes, and coyotes are known to visit brush piles to hunt. Making a brush pile can be as simple as piling branches and leaves into a mound, as big or as small as you want. You can even use tree stumps or old fence posts near the base, and keep stacking on plant trimmings and fallen branches. Do note that you don’t want to do this near anything like a fire pit.

Don't forget, with all of these, your mileage may vary for any variation of reasons, so don't worry if you can't take all of even any of these actions! Even just talking about them with other people may inspire someone else to put out a bat box, or leave a few logs out for wildlife!

That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to get seeds and plants as cheaply as possible. For now, I hope this advice helps! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

[the-witty-pen-name]

The Love Triangle from Hell (2)

Steve Harrington x F!Reader / Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Synopsis: After the events of PART ONE, Robin goes shoe shopping; Steve's mental health is in shambles; Nancy is trying to save her relationship; you're feeling lost; and Eddie is trying to be the bigger person.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: messy messy feelings; unrequited love; cursing; arguments; crying; angst angst angsty angst; drinking; Robin literally just trying to live her life but her friends are all idiots

A/N: Thank you all so so much for all the love you have been showing to part one. You all had me so motivated to write this next part for you. I never manage to get things written this quickly, it's insane. So much appreciation to you all who took the time to read and let me know how you liked it- the comments and reblogs mean so much to me! Thank you!

Please let know who you think our girl should end up with ;)

This series with be 18+ in later chapters MINORS DNI

You didn’t ever think about a future in which you didn’t feel the way you felt about Steve. It was something that you always viewed as this absolute truth. It was unavoidable. The sun would rise and fall and you would love Steve Harrington. But now, the world feels like it’s crashed, burned and raised from the ashes. A new reality- a new future to be written. Maybe, just maybe, you would see a future for yourself without Steve. It was such a simple thought- but you couldn’t have seen it before.

While you’re coming to terms with your new reality that Eddie tore open with both hands, Steve feels the weight of the crash all around him. It’s everywhere, more specifically, you’re everywhere. He felt like he’s lost everything. In her reconciliation with Jonathan, Nancy pulled Steve aside that night and said she thought it best if they don’t hang out for awhile. He nodded, jaw tightened, but he understood. 

Eddie isn’t not talking to him, but there’s awkward tension in the apartment. They both pretend that it isn’t there but the air is thick with it. The proverbial beans have been spillt. Eddie’s in love with you, and Steve shouldn’t care about it as much as he does. Eddie goes about his days padding around the house. He’ll strum guitar and clean the kitchen and go on like nothing happened. Steve’s been avoiding him, not knowing at all what to say. There isn’t anything to say- not really. But still, the walls between them are undeniably there. 

Robin is all Steve has to confide in right now, telling her all about how he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you for the past few weeks since the night of what they’ve been calling “the incident.” He tells her everything- his confusion in his feelings towards you, the way he misses his friendship with Nancy, his irrational harbouring resentment toward Eddie. He tells her all of it. She listens and doesn’t judge- well, maybe she does judge. But, it’s coming from a place of love! 

“What do you think?” she asks, stomping around in circles. She looks down at the new Adidas on her feet, thinking about how dirty the white sneakers are going to get almost immediately. Steve is sitting on the little bench in the shoe store with his head in his hands. “I hate them,” she complains, “I hate new shoes. I hate buying jeans. It all sucks.”

Like a parent would, Steve leans down and presses his fingertips down on the toe of the shoe. “These are too small,” he points out. He turns to the box at his side, handing her the next size up. “These will probably feel better.” She snatches the show from his hand, kicking off the pair she’s wearing. 

“Fucking Munson,” she scoffs. “New fucking shoes,” she mutters, bending over to slide the next pair on. Steve smirks to himself when he sees the relief wash over Robin’s face. It’s the undeniable look of pure comfort. “Oh,” she says shyly, “these feel really nice.” 

“What am I gonna do?” he asks, disheartened looking up at Robin. She sighs, pushing the empty box next to him on the floor so she can take its place. 

“What do you want?” she asks, “Do you actually like her?”

“I might,” he admits, “I don’t know! I haven’t thought about her that way before. I could see it, maybe.”

“I don’t think you should do anything,” Robin advises, “Just sort out all the shit in your head. You are only just beginning to let yourself get over Nancy- jumping into a mess between your best friends is not the thing to do right now. Sort yourself out- get some Vitamin D, eat a vegetable- do something besides sit in your room and sulk.” 

“I’m here now,” he tries to argue and Robin scoffs. 

“You’re here cause you ran out of excuses when you kept cancelling on me,” Robin points out. She looks at her feet one more time. She then looks to Steve with a look of absolute utter defeat. “I think I’m gonna get these.” She gets up and kicks them off. Steve watches as she puts them back in the box. “I’m not gonna wear them around Eddie though,” she says with a scoff, heading towards the register like she got the one up on him. 

Eddie remembers the first time he saw you. He’d been reflecting back on it a lot the past few weeks after everything that has happened. He’s having trouble wrapping his head around how he got from there to here. What was a innocent high school crush has blossomed into such an intense love that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. The feeling is almost too big for him to carry- which is probably the reason for his outburst that night. 

It has been Eddie’s junior year, making it your sophomore year. You’d been in the drama club and occasionally rehearsal would run late- meaning Hellfire would start late since they used the Theater room as well. Usually, Drama Club rehearsed Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday- making the room available for Hellfire on Friday. However, as productions got closer to the opening night, theater kids and band geeks would end up flocking to the room for Hell Week- extra rehearsals, last minute set adjustments, all running out the clock to the big night. It would run into Fridays, pushing Hellfire back despite Eddie reserving the room. The one thing he actually did to follow the rules. 

You felt ridiculous in your costume. Your Juliet dress had you sticking out when you weren’t in the midst of the sets and reciting your lines. The long fabrics of the Renaissance inspired costume followed behind you as you darted from one side of the school to the other. You needed last minute fixes to the hem of your dress and the veil of your head crown. You only a few minutes before you were expected at rehearsal, left with no choice to run from the home ec classroom to the theater. 

Eddie and the rest of Hellfire stood begrudgingly behind the stage, too stubborn to find another location for their meeting. He swears that you ran by him in slow motion to make your cue. Like a runaway bride from his fantasy novels, it was like you were plucked from one of his fantasies and graced his world with your presence. He was enamored. You looked exactly like a princess. He didn’t realize he’d been staring until Gareth had elbowed him to snap him out of it. He knew from that moment when he looks back, he was in love with you. He rubbed his ribs where he was struck and stayed hidden backstage to watch the whole performance. 

Steve can’t even remember the first time you met. You were something that was always there, and something he’s realized now that he’s taken for granted. You remember, you remember it all. It was still so vivid to you. It was a start to your everything. 

Kindergarten was an overwhelming experience for Steve. Specifically drop-off, but he doesn’t remember now. You remember waiting with your mom and you held her hand tightly, while you waited for your teacher to escort you and your new classmates into school. You noticed Steve, across the play yard, but your head tilted in confusion that he was without a grown-up to send him off. 

You immediately shook yourself free from your moms embrace and skipped confidently over to the little boy. 

“Do you wanna be best friends?” You asked abruptly, it was all you needed. The simplicity of making friends when your six is a beautiful thing. He nodded, and you took his hand in yours so he didn’t walk in alone. The two of you were inseparable ever since. Until high school rolled around and changed everything. 

The Steve you knew was different than the Steve that ruled the halls of Hawkins High back in the day. When it was the two of you, it was like how it always was. But at school, it was like he was an entirely new person. Reinvented and repackaged, King Steve’s reign was legend. Had it not killed you a little inside, you’d have been impressed. 

Nancy offered to get lunch together with you shortly after the incident. She valued your friendship and wanted to clear the air. You felt the same. Your feelings towards Steve never hindered how highly you thought of Nancy. The two of you became friends amidst the era of King Steve, shortly before they began dating. 

“I wanted you to know that had I known,” Nancy says, stirring the milk in her coffee, “I would have never went out with Steve.”

“You don’t have to feel guilty, Nance,” you reassure her. “You liked him and he liked you back, of course you guys should have dated. I don’t resent that- I just… I don’t know.” 

“I don’t want this to affect us,” she reiterates.

“It won’t, it hasn’t- honestly,” you reply sincerely. “I never hated you. I can’t lie and say I wasn’t very jealous- because I was, still am a little maybe. It wasn’t because of you- it was just because it wasn’t me.” 

“I understand,” she comforts you. You both share a smile and you appreciate her for coordinating this sit down. It felt good to confide in her. It was something you shouldn’t have bottled up and dealt with alone. Talking with Nancy felt like taking breaths of fresh air. 

You’d walked home after lunch, declining Nancy’s offer for a ride. The cafe was close enough to your and Robin’s apartment that you could manage without getting too cold. Trudging up the front steps, you had your hood up to keep yourself warmer. It also hindered your vision so you didn’t see the figure on the front porch swing until you were right at your front door. 

“Steve?” You ask, taken aback. You didn’t expect to see him- though you supposed he’d be wanting to talk about it all eventually. You sigh, bracing yourself for the one conversation you absolutely did not want to have. 

“Hey,” he shivers, keeping his hands bunched into his jacket plackets. 

“Come on up,” you offer, unlocking your front door. He graciously accepts, darting in out of the cold as fast as possible. He had to have been waiting awhile. “Robin is at work right now, but you can wait for her,” you say, as you both make it to the top of the stairs to your third floor apartment. 

“I came to see you, actually,” he admits. 

“I was afraid of that,” you joke, and it makes you a little happy when he chuckles. You both know how hard this conversation is going to be. 

You both shrug off your warm layers and leave them in the entry way. You kick off your boots and shove your hat and gloves into the sleeve of your jacket. You try your best to tame your hair. You walk with your arms crossed and take a seat on your couch. Steve tentatively follows and sits on the opposite end. You both sit in uncomfortable silence for what felt like ages. 

“How long?” He finally asks, and you can’t help but cringe. It felt so impersonal, and like a subtle attack. Like you were in the wrong for keeping something from him. He sounds hurt. 

“I don’t know,” you sigh, your face in your hands. “Probably at least since we were in like second grade, maybe.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he questions, and you feel dejected. 

“I don’t know- maybe cause you dated someone new constantly,” you accuse, flipping it back to him. You weren’t going to take the blame for this. “When we got to high school, you pursued so many girls- you were on a date every weekend! When did you expect me to say when you showed interest in literally everyone but me? Do you expect me to say I should’ve said something when you were with Nancy?” 

“No… shit, I don’t know,” he mumbles. He had no right to be upset, you resolved. “I just, I feel bad that you didn’t think you could tell me.” 

“I couldn’t risk losing you,” you admitted. “I’d much rather be heartbroken with you in my life than heartbroken without you.” 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, and he’s not sure why he’s suddenly so quiet. “I just- fuck! I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” 

You both sit there, quietly, looking anywhere except each other. You bite the inside of your mouth nervously, you don’t know what to say. You notice he’s not saying I was so stupid. I love you, I always have. You’ve learned the hard way by now to not expect that from him. You can’t let your expectations of him dictate the future of your friendship. 

“It’s okay, you know,” you finally say across the silence. “I don’t want you to think this changes anything.” 

This changes everything! He wants to exclaim. You’re right there, closer than you’ve been in weeks. Yet you still feel so far away, so unattainable. He feels as though you’re treating him like a stranger, and he hates feeling like this. 

“I’m not in love with Nancy,” he confesses. “I thought it was what I wanted, but now I don’t know what I want.” 

“Don’t give me false hope to make me feel better, Steve,” you sigh. “That’s not fair.” 

Robin bursts through the door in a whirlwind of chaos. She’s shedding her layers as she recounts a terrible interaction she had with a customer at work. She kicks off her Adidas, not bothering to put them in the shoe rack and she lets her jacket lay on the floor for now. 

“Anyways, this guy starts yelling at me because he didn’t like Risky Business like I wrote and starred in the damn thing so I’m like ‘Sir, I didn’t make the movie’  and then he gets he gets even more pissed that won’t give him a free rental. I can’t do that! What makes him think I can just wave a magic wand a pull a perk like that out of my- oh fuck. H-hey Steve…. I didn’t know you were here.” 

He stands up abruptly, “I was just leaving.” Before either you or Robin have a chance to say anything else. He’s stumbling over putting on his shoes and falling into his jacket on the his way quickly out the door. 

“What the hell was that?” Robin asks, turning to you. 

“I have no idea.” You say earnestly. 

“He’s so fucking stupid I swear to god,” she rolls her eyes and heads past you into the kitchen. She decided to keep her commentary at that. You escape to your room so you can process what the hell just happened. 

“Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” Steve hits his palms against his steering wheel in frustration. “SHIT!” 

He completely fucked that up. 

When you had a problem of this measure that bothered you, you’d call Steve. Or, you’d call Eddie. Neither option is one you felt was viable right now. You didn’t want to annoy Robin with it anymore than you’d had already- you’re sure she’s sick of everyone going to her. You have a bad habit of assuming you’re a burden when your anxiety spikes like this. 

“Hey, Nance. I, uh, was just calling to-“

“Steve, please- we talked about this.” 

He knew this was going to happen. But he couldn’t stop himself as he dialed her number. He knew he was supposed to stay away and give her and Jonathan space. How is he supposed to move on when he lost the one person he could call to talk about this? Steve felt Nancy understood him better than anyone- or at least at one point she did. 

She hangs up before Steve gets a chance to say anything. He drops the receiver back onto the base. He lays back on the couch and takes some slow breaths. He can’t imagine that you all ended up here. After everything you all survived, this is what’s pulling you all apart. 

Why the fuck did he call Nancy? Deep down he knows he wants to just talk to you but he just can’t right now. His brain is too congested with everything that’s come to light and it’s all such a scary, unfamiliar plane. Nancy is his familiar- it’s what he knows. He’s realizing maybe he didn’t actually pine for Nancy but instead he was yearning for that stability he once felt. He’s mourning the time for when it felt like he had absolutely everything. 

It hits him all at once- like a huge wave that knocks you out when you’re bracing yourself to jump. He wanted it all back- fucking King Steve. Not the parties and the fucking assholes. He wanted to feel that way again. He wanted how he felt when he had a girlfriend who loved him and close friends he could walk the halls with. He missed when his life felt easy and he missed how easy it feels now compared to this. He wanted his life back- it wasn’t Nancy that he wanted- not really. He wanted to feel that way again and he was mourning his youth despite the imperfections. 

He thought of you again, as he turned his body to stare at the phone. He knows he should call, and do his best to make you feel better. He needed you to understand that he understands so much more now than he did. The bigger picture is revealing itself more to him and he actually fucking gets it. Out of everything that has changed, you never did. It all feels so painfully obvious now. How could he have not seen it? 

“Sup, man,” Eddie says casually, coming home from work. Taking off his jacket reveals that his coveralls are covered in a huge grease stain. Kicking off his work boots, he doesn’t wait for Steve to reply as he heads to the bathroom to shower. “You wanna get Chinese tonight?” he calls from the other room. Steve gulps and sits up, trying to shake himself out of it. 

“Uh, yeah, sure.”  

A few minutes later, Eddie emerges from the bathroom and steam from his shower wafts out into the hallway. 

“We’re good, right?” Eddie asks. He wants to say yes. Eddie did nothing wrong and Steve deep down knows it. He knows his resentment he’s harbouring is completely unfair- but it is running down to his core. 

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Steve says, trying his best to fake it. They aren’t good. Steve doesn’t know if they’d ever be good. Eddie knows it too. He knows Steve too well to know that he isn’t actually good. Eddie doesn’t fight it.

“I’ll get over it,” Eddie said. “Well, that’s a fucking lie. But, I can tell myself I can get over it.” Steve looks at him, confused. “If you and her want to be together, if you like her back- I’ll step down.”

“Why are you even saying that?”

“Because I want her to be happy more than anything else, and if I’m not that guy- I’m just getting in the way of that,” he confesses, and Steve can hear the hurt in his friend’s voice. “If you actually want to go for it- I’m not what’s stopping you, man.” 

The phone breaks through the solemn moment the two of them share. Eddie looks to Steve and Steve shrugs before picking up the receiver. 

“Hello?” He says, and he smiles to himself as he recognizes the voice on the other end. Then, Eddie watches as his friend’s face falls again- all in a brief few seconds. “It’s for you,” he says, dropping the receiver on the table for Eddie to get. Steve disappears down the hall and seeks refuge in his room.

“Hey,” Eddie says, bringing the phone to his ear. 

“Hey, it’s me,” he hears you say. Suddenly, Steve’s reaction makes a lot of sense. 

PART THREE

TAGLIST: @sunshinepeachx @downbear @fanlifeaamt @exploding-bonbon @losingmygrasponreality @skiddypiddy @andvys @djodirt

[gilbertscurls]

The living room was bathed in the soft glow of Christmas lights. The tree stood tall, its branches brimming with potential, boxes of ornaments scattered around its base. Chris sat cross-legged on the floor, his head tilted as he examined a particularly delicate glass ornament shaped like a snowflake.

“Think this one goes near the top?” he asked, glancing up at you with a grin that could rival the twinkling lights.

You nodded, your lips curving into a smile. “Definitely. It’s too pretty to get lost in the middle.”

Together, the two of you worked in quiet harmony, the faint sound of holiday music playing from Chris’s phone on the coffee table. It was well past midnight, but neither of you minded. The quiet house, the glow of the lights, and the warmth of each other's company made the late hour feel like a shared secret.

Chris stretched to place the snowflake near the top of the tree, standing on his toes. His shirt rode up slightly, revealing a sliver of skin, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Need a boost?” you teased, holding out a hand as if to help.

He turned, smirking. “I’ve got this. Don’t underestimate me.”

With a final stretch, he managed to hook the ornament onto a sturdy branch, stepping back to admire his handiwork. “Perfect,” he said, sounding a little too proud.

You rolled your eyes, picking up a small, glittery reindeer from the box. “Here, your majesty. Where does this one go?”

He crouched down beside you, his knee brushing against yours. “Let’s put it here.” He leaned over, guiding your hand to place the ornament just right. When it was done, neither of you moved.

The proximity, the soft glow of the lights, the quiet—everything felt charged with something unspoken. You turned your head slightly, your noses almost touching, and Chris’s smile softened.

“You know,” he murmured, his voice barely louder than a whisper, “this is my favorite part of the holidays.”

“What? Decorating a tree at 2 a.m.?”

He chuckled, the sound warm and familiar. “No. This. Being here with you.”

The words hung between you for a moment before he leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss. It was slow and sweet, the kind of kiss that made time feel irrelevant. When he pulled back, his eyes searched yours, like he was trying to memorize the way they reflected the lights.

You reached up, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. “You’re such a sap, you know that?”

“And you like it,” he countered, grinning.

You couldn’t argue with that.

As the night went on, the tree slowly transformed into a masterpiece of lights and memories. Each ornament you hung came with a story—childhood memories, embarrassing moments, inside jokes. By the time the tree was fully decorated, your sides ached from laughter, and your cheeks hurt from smiling.

Chris flopped onto the couch, pulling you down beside him. “Tree’s done. Mission accomplished.”

“Barely,” you teased, resting your head on his shoulder.

He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer. “It’s perfect,” he said, his voice softer now. “Just like this.”

And in that quiet moment, under the glow of the Christmas tree, you couldn’t agree more.

tag list: @stuwniolo, @sturnobsessedwh0re, @matts-myloverboy, @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut, @lizzymacdonald06, @asherrisrandom, @sturniolowhore69, @faith5drpepper, @emely9274, @psychologyloverfr, @lovetaylorrussellgrr, @conspiracy-ash, @helpimateenagerinlove, @ghostlythinggoingaround, @sturmatt, @chris-hallelujah, @goingtojohnkramershouseee, @wurlibydominicfike