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yuna542 · 1 year ago

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Connected (OT8 x reader)

Part 20<-

Part 21

Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader/Chan x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: ANGST, Jealousy, Arguing, Intimidating Chan, Swearing

Word Count: 4k

Note: You wanted Angst, you get Angst… Thought about the time Chan talked about his anger issues and felt so much better because I have the same problem. Currently working on my own anger issues. So I made it into a Part for the Story. Let me know what you think. Requests are open. Comments, Likes and Reblogs are always a blessing <3

On your first day of your new job as the personal manager of Stray Kids, you didn't expect to be standing in front of the man you made out with last night in a club. But it soon becomes clear that the Stray Kids don't just want you as their manager. Will this passionate arrangement end your career?

The first tour dates couldn't have gone better.

The atmosphere during the show was incredible and the fans loved the comeback and everything you had prepared for them. Traveling from city to city across the world was completely new for you and getting to know all the different cultures and people was so exciting that you often thought you were only dreaming it all.

Even though there was an immense amount of responsibility on your shoulders that completely took your breath away at times, there were always the Kids that brought you back to your feet and showed you how lucky you were to be able to experience this together with them.

But one thing was still ahead of you and you broke out in a cold sweat just thinking about it.

The first big concert in Japan was coming up and it was extremely important for JYP Entertainment and Stray Kids that everything worked out there. The gig turned out to be more complicated than expected, but if the show went smoothly, you had some contracts secured for the future.

On the plane to Japan, you were sitting between Hyunjin and Chan and had been working on your Ipad for a couple of hours to make sure everything went smoothly for the next concerts in Japan and Australia.

Chan had his headphones on and was already working on new tracks on his laptop, while Hyunjin's head was leaning against your shoulder and he was scrolling through social media on his phone or writing on Bubble with Stays.

"Pretty, look at this!" he commented, holding up his phone to snap a selfie.

"Let's tell our Stays we'll be in Japan soon."

While Hyunjin looked like the main character straight out of a romantic Kdrama even with the oversize hoodie and baggy jeans, you looked more like you just woke up with your hair pulled up into a messy bun, wearing one of Felix's washed out blue shirts and some old short leggings.

"No don’t! I look horrible," you pouted as he pointed the selfie camera at you and you tried to tidy a few strands of hair on your head.

Additionally, you were without makeup. You didn't have time to get ready in the morning, and with the guys, you could always just be who you were. You knew exactly that they liked you even without makeup, nice clothes and done hair.

You realised that at the latest when they had stared at you with open mouths when you first came shuffling into the living room with sweatpants, a worn hoodie and no makeup.

Jisung and Jeongin had fought over where you should sit, and Chan had almost drooled when he had noticed that you had secretly stolen one of his sweatpants. They were much more comfortable and smelled pleasantly of him.

Felix had almost forced his shirt on you, loving how his clothes clung to your curves. You kept catching yourself smelling Felix's things. It made you breathe a sigh of relief right away, like a warm summer day.

Hyunjin looked at you and grabbed your face with one hand to stare directly into your eyes. As he did so, the tip of his nose touched yours and he looked more serious than ever.

"There's nothing about you that's horrible. You look stunning. Whether in a dress or a dirty shirt."

"Dirty?" you asked a little indistinctly as he squeezed your cheeks.

He pointed to a spot on your collar that was actually discolored a little black.

"Shit," you cursed, trying to get the stain off, but it didn't work. You had probably been playing with the pen too much while you were engrossed in your work.

You heard Hyunjin chuckle softly. He raised his cell phone and just as you looked up, he pressed the shutter button.

"Hey!" you snapped at him as he pulled the phone away before you could grab it.

He looked at the picture and laughed louder.

"You look so cute!" he giggled, turning away so you couldn't see.

"Show me already!" you snapped at him as you missed again to grab his hand.

That's when he finally turned the screen and you could see the two of you in the picture. Hyunjin looked perfect, as always. He had his temple leaning against yours and you were looking into the camera with big round eyes, a puzzled pout on your pink lips.

In fact, the picture wasn't that bad. You looked cute together, but you would never admit that. Chan looked up from his laptop and regarded the picture with a smile.

"That turned out well! You look like a scared kitten" he laughed, and that's when you saw Hyunjin uploading it to Bubble. Sighing, you let yourself fall back into the seat and felt Hyunjin put an arm around you and pull you against him. You leaned your head against his and watched him scroll through the comments and responses from Stays.

The responses were positive through and through. Many wrote how cute you looked and a whole lot of people wrote how beautiful they thought you were, that you were made for the Stray Kids and you blushed when Hyunjin teased you about it. The love you got from the fans was incredible. Soon you were swept to TikTok and watched videos while cuddling.

You laughed at funny edits and compilations where recordings of you and the Kids were cut together. Meanwhile, there were tons of shipping videos where intimate moments between you and the guys were recorded and put together.

Whether it was during the video shoots in the background, like the making of the teaser where you saw too late that Jeongin and you could be seen in the background while you were very close taking care of his nosebleed. Just in time, Hyunjin had turned off the camera and so your kiss was no longer filmed.

But your laughter died in your throat when a video popped up that also made Hyunjin squint his eyes.

At first you recognized the building by the little café with the green doors. It was only a few minutes walk from JYPE, so Chan usually got the coffee for you from there that you loved so much.

You all got lost there all the time during breaks or after work because it was tucked away in an alley and the boys were also very rarely recognised there.

That’s why it was even stranger that someone had filmed this very café.

Spellbound, you stared at the screen as it zoomed in until you could make out indistinct outlines behind the shop windows.

On the video you saw the outlines of a man and a smaller woman with blond hair. Even though the quality was really bad and you couldn't make out very much except for a few pixels, you knew who the girl was.

You had personally hired the stylist before the tour. She was Australian, had an excellent resume and was doing an excellent job so far.

She was really pretty and had quickly made friends with Chan. Her charm had not escaped you either. Even though it stung your chest every time you saw them chatting together, you never let on.

You couldn't. After all, you had a job to do.

There was wild speculation in the comments whether that was actually Bang Chan on the video, with a 'mystery' girl.

You could only see him from behind, but you knew immediately that it was him.

He wore the same jacket on the video as he did yesterday in the studio, and his posture was so familiar to you that there was no doubt in your mind.

In the video, the two were standing behind the window of the café and had obviously taken a break yesterday to get coffee. You had seen them leave the JYP building, but you hadn't given it a second thought because you were up to your neck in work.

Now your heart was tightened into a knot and stung uncomfortably in your chest when you saw Mina in the video giving Chan her bright smile. They were talking boisterously and despite the blurry image, due to the enormous zoom, you could see how beautiful she was.

Her blonde hair fell in waves over her shoulders and shone like liquid gold in the light.

You glanced briefly at Chan, but he was engrossed in his work and didn't notice anything.

What happened next in the video burst the knot in your chest, leaving painful shards that cut you from the inside out.

You looked closer at the screen, Hyunjins hands shivered and they actually kissed. There was no doubt about it.

You couldn't stand the video a second longer and jumped up from your seat. Hyunjin immediately turned off his phone and looked after you in panic as you excused yourself and disappeared into the bathroom.

He had also seen it for the first time and couldn't quite believe what had just happened.

Only when you saw your pale face in the mirror did your heart seem to start beating again. And it hammered painfully in time with your breathing.

It shouldn't affect you. No you shouldn't care. You were the manager and nothing more, you should be aware of that. Chan had explained to you what the arrangement was about. It was not a firm commitment and you had no right to feel that way. But then why did tears come to your eyes? Silently you sobbed into your hand, which you pressed forcefully over your mouth so that no one would hear you.

Your breathing panicked as you tried to calm yourself, but the pain in your chest bored deeper into your flesh with each breath.

It took a few breaths before you could get your body back to work normally. You winced violently as someone knocked on the door.

"Y/N? Are you in there?" you heard Hyunjin ask.

Hectically, you ripped paper from the dispenser and tried to wipe the tears from your cheeks.

"Yes. I'm in here," you said in a shaky voice, trying not to sound too nasal. You cleared your throat hard and could hear him leaning his head against the door.

"How are you?"

With both thumbs, you brushed away remaining tears from under your eyes and took a deep breath. Then you opened the door with a jerk and put on a smile as soon as you looked Hyunjin in the eye.

"Everything's fine."

Concern gleamed in his eyes, and in wonder he watched you push past him. But you didn't run back to your place next to Chan.

Instead, you ran to Han and Minho who were sitting further back. As soon as you got near them, they made room and Han tapped the seat between them.

"Finally you join us, honey!"

You dropped down between them, trying not to show how much the video was bothering you. Automatically Minho put a hand on your knee and let his thumb circle over your thigh while he dozed off with his eyes closed.

"I wanted to see how you were doing back here," you said with a smile, watching Hyunjin walk back with a petrified look on his face.

"We're better now," Han purred, pressing a kiss to your neck, nibbling on your skin playfully until you giggled and pushed him away because it tickled.

Minho's hand was tight against your inner thigh, and though he didn't open his eyes, he gave you such a sense of security that you dared to breathe a sigh of relief. It wasn't until you landed that you remembered one thing that made you grind your teeth.

At the airport you would meet the rest of the team, which meant Mina too....

You wanted to throw up the moment you spotted her between the Secruity and the rest of the staff. Of course, the airport was littered with fans and press and the typical commotion began to break out around you as soon as the first people recognized Stray Kids.

You were led through the airport, accompanied by lightning storms, shouts and crowds. It was overwhelming every time, but right now you had completely different worries.

Your gaze automatically followed Chan, who hurried past the people with his eyes downcast. When you recognized Mina's blond mop of hair in front of him, you clenched both hands into fists and no longer heard all the chaos around you.

The guys all ran one after the other through a narrow aisle kept clear by security, waving to the fans and into the hundreds of cameras. Mina was about to let Chan through, since he was the last of the guys in front of you, but he put a hand on her back and let her pass safely down the aisle in front of him.

Your environment drifted into the background and although it was typical of Chan to be concerned about the welfare of others, tears were already pushing their way into the corners of your eyes again.

The video played continuously in your mind and you feared suffocation if you had to watch his hand touching her back for a second longer.

It took what felt like an eternity until you were out of the airport and reached the shuttle buses.

There, one by one, everyone climbed into the cars and when you reached the door, Chan, of all people, held the door open for you and offered you a hand so you could get in. Your eyes met for a moment and that broke the last fortitude, that was left in your body.

His warm amber eyes radiated the confidence that always gave you security, no matter how stressful it was. But right now, you couldn't think of anything but the pain you felt when you saw Mina and him kissing.

Despite the many cell phone cameras pointed at you, you ignored his hand and ran to the nearest bus where Seungmin and Felix were just getting on.

Jeongin reacted immediately and took your seat. Chan, on the other hand, looked after you in confusion and remained standing until Han called out to him to get on.

By the time you reached the hotel, you felt so sick that you had to lean against the reception desk while you waited for the room cards. You noticed Chan's inquiring gaze on you, you dodged his glare every time he tried to make contact. With the four room cards, you went back to the guys in the lobby and distributed them among them. There, too, you ignored Chan's hand when he tried to take a card for himself and Changbin.

But you couldn't even bear to stand near him.

So you sidestepped him and gave it directly to Changbin. Hyunjin and I.N went first to their room and were soon followed by Seungmin and Han. Without another word, you slipped into the next elevator while the rest were still chatting.

But before the door could close, an arm slid between the thick doors and Chan slipped in at the last moment. As soon as the elevator started moving, he turned to you.

"What's wrong?"

You could feel how much it bothered him that you ignored him, but even now you didn't dare look at him.

"Nothing." you replied dryly.

The soft elevator music punctuated your anger, which began to bubble with the stinging feeling in your chest.

"That's not true. You've been ignoring me since the flight. What have I done?"

You watched the rising numbers on the display, the details of what floor you were on, as if it was the most interesting thing you had ever seen.

"I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong."

The sentence came out a bit sharper than you wanted and when he remained silent and just stared at you, as if he would get any answer that way, you made the mistake of looking at him for a moment.

Immediately he recognized the sadness mixed with anger in your eyes.

"Talk to me, Y/N! You know you can trust me with anything and if I did something, please tell me!"

The elevator finally stopped on the right floor and just before the doors opened you snorted in annoyance.

"Why don't you ask Mina to talk to you? I'm sure she'd be interested."

You regretted the words as soon as they were spoken, but your head was full of blinding anger. Anger at yourself for acting so childish and not being able to do anything about it. Anger at the blonde girl and especially anger at Chan.

You quickly jumped out of the elevator and just wanted to leave. After only a few steps, Chan grabbed your wrist and pulled you back, making you look at him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, by now with a darker tone and his piercing look sent a shiver down your spine.

"It's nothing!" it escaped you louder than you meant to, and you pried your hand from his grasp.

Chan looked more and more confused, and before you could whirl around again to leave, he was holding you by the arm again, pressing you against the red wallpaper of the hallway. It took your breath away as he leaned over you, his eyes flickering with rage.

"Then why are you treating me like this? You always keep everything bottled up. It's exhausting. Why don't you trust me?" he asked, sounding hurt. The grip on your arm was so tight it hurt, but he didn't seem to notice. He clenched his teeth hard and his jaw twitched.

His eyes were fixed on yours and you feared you had forgotten how to speak. His broad shoulders completely shielded you from the outside world and he made no move to let you go.

Tears now burned dangerously at the corners of your eyes and you swallowed painfully to push them back.

"It's all right," you tried to say in a strained voice, but gradually he seemed to catch on. Your words slowly got through to him and that's when you felt his grip on your arms loosen.

"You know about the kiss?" he asked quietly, suddenly dejected.

"It's all over the internet. You've been filmed."

His hands flew into his hair and he briefly turned his back to you as he groaned loudly:

"Fucking hell..."

You still pressed your hands tightly against the wall, not daring to move from the spot.

"Don't worry you won't be recognized. You can only speculate..." you said and that's when he turned back to you.

That he might be recognized was the least of his worries at the moment. He looked sad and there was something else in his eyes that you couldn't put your finger on.

"She just kissed me suddenly. I didn't want to..." he began, but you shook your head and stared at the floor.

His justifications were so much worse than being silent.

"It's okay Chan. You don't have to explain anything to me. You can do whatever you want," you replied a little more quietly as an older couple came out of one of the hotel rooms and eyed you curiously.

You took a few steps away from the wall and only when the people were gone did Chan reply:

"Oh yeah, so it doesn't bother you?"

"What do you want me to say?" you shouted in his face, your voice rolling over. Tears burned at the corners of your eyes and your lower lip quivered dangerously. Gradually, you didn't care if he saw you crying. The pain in your chest was too deep and every second you argued, you got progressively worse.

Chan threw his hands in the air and you had never seen him so loud and frantic before.

"That you're angry with me. That you hate me or just punch me. But don't say it's okay! You always do."

"I don't have the right to say anything Chan!"

"Why?"

His eyes were full of pain and you could see your own anger reflected in them.

"Because I'm not your girlfriend."

The sentence hung in the air like thick smog poisoning the atmosphere and Chan just stared.

You couldn't bear to look at his perplexed face for a second longer and turned to flee. You just wanted to bury yourself in your bed until the next flight and never have to speak again.

"So you don't care?" you heard Chan shout behind you. By now you couldn't hold back the tears and they streamed freely down your cheeks. You were already embarrassed about what a wreck you were, but inside it was tearing you apart.

Chan meant so much to you and now arguing with him like this was eating you up. When you didn't respond, he shouted emphatically:

"Y/N! Look me in the eye and say you don't care! Then I'll leave you alone."

So you turned around after all. When he saw your face flooded with tears, he froze and would have loved to run to you to pull you into his arms. He regretted all of his words and hated himself for his anger issues that he never wanted to take them out on you.

He didn't know you were crying, and seeing you with swollen eyes and wet cheeks, your body now finally shaken by bloodcurdling sobs, was a sight he never wanted to see or trigger.

He felt terribly guilty, but no words escaped his lips.

"I do," you murmured, wrapping your arms around your body.

"What?"

His voice was brittle and his eyes red. He was on the verge of breaking down. Only extreme tension kept him from becoming a blubbering mess.

"I care about it! I care about you, idiot! I hate seeing you with her! I hate even more how it makes me feel. It fucking hurts like hell and I know I have no right to feel this way, but I want to cry and lash out when I see her around you!" you sobbed and by now the entire hallway must have heard you.

"I shouldn't have let all this happen.... I knew you'd get hurt if you came near me."

His voice softened again and he took a step towards you.

"No. It was my choice. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to the arrangement."

Chan shook his head, gritted his teeth, and wanted to touch you. Warningly, you raised a hand to keep him from coming closer. The intimidating anger in his eyes was burned into your memory and you wouldn't forget it anytime soon.

It was all too much for you, and if he took one more step toward you, you couldn't guarantee anything. Your emotions were caught in a whirlpool of rage, fear and sadness over which you no longer had any control.

"Stay away! Please don't come any closer!"

At your shaky voice, something inside him broke, but he immediately stopped and raised his hands to signal that he wouldn't hurt you.

"Chan, if I'm just a fucktoy to you, that's fine, but then tell me."

He furrowed his eyebrows and stared at you uncomprehendingly. The silence that followed was answer enough and you wanted to throw up, fall to the floor and choke on your own tears.

Why had you been so blind? He had made it clear from the beginning that it would never amount to a relationship with him or any of the others.

Your stupid feelings were all your fault.

"I understand..."

It was just a huff, and you had knocked on Hyunjin's hotel room faster than Chan could respond. He could only watch as the door opened and closed again behind you.

Chan slammed his fist against the wall and cursed loudly. He had ruined everything and driven away the person who meant so much to him. His biggest fear had become reality and it was all his fault.

Hyunjin pulled you into his arms without hesitation and just held you while your body was shaken by heart-wrenching sobs.

Together you sat down on the bed, where he hugged you tightly and never let go.

You didn't have to say what was going on. No words were necessary and you were grateful to him for that. He was just there, holding you, whispering soothing words and keeping you company until the tears subsided and you fell asleep exhausted in his arms.

->Part 22

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yuna542 · 1 year ago

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💫Drabble Challenge💫

By @3rachasninja 🩵

„I‘m here“

Pairing: Chan x Reader

Genre: ANGST, Fluff, Comfort, Friends to Lovers

Warnings: fluff, comfort, angst, family issues, anxiety, insomnia, overwhelmed/stressed, burned out reader, trauma, mentions of alcohol, yelling, strong language, sexualising and offensive jokes, dark thoughts, depression, domestic violence

Word Count: 7.2k

Note: I had a lot of fun writing this. Thank you for joining my little challenge. I really tried to include everything you wanted and I hope you‘ll like it. <3

Join my <Challenge>💕

You heard a crackle from your phone as Chan flopped down on his bed, the neon lighting behind him bathing his face in a bluish glow.

"I'll pick you up later and we'll go to the movies. Felix and Minho went to this new horror movie and said it's great. So I have to go with you."

You looked up from your notes and at Chan, who was smiling happily at your screen.

"Sorry Channie, but I have to study..." you sighed, rubbing your hair with the heels of your hands. You were dead tired, the next exam was already in a week. You wanted nothing more than to go to the movies with Chan, but you couldn't make it.

Disappointed, he pouted and ran his hand through the thick curls you loved since school.

Chan and you went to high school together and became soon best friends. When he became a trainee for JYP, you lost touch because he needed so much time to train and focus on his career.

But after his debut, he had contacted you again and you found out that the apartment you lived in with your dad since your parents separated was only a ten minute drive from his dorm. You met again more often. You got to know his members and became friends with them. They were all awesome and reliable friends by now.

Soon it was as if no time had passed and you and Chan were as inseparable as before. However, much had changed with you over the last months.

Your parents had separated and after a bad and toxic marriage and an even more disgusting divorce, your mother had simply disappeared from your life. At first she called every day. Then she called once a week, and by now you weren't even sure she had the same number anymore.

Chan sighed, but nodded in understanding. He knew how much you cared about your studies. You studied day and night to graduate and finally stand on your own two feet.

But he didn't know that you were doing all this to disappear. To leave this life behind and build your own, independent and above all happy life. Without a father who could no longer control himself. Who was drunk day and night. Since your mother had left, he had changed. By now you just couldn't imagine that she had once loved him.

He had become dependent. Working as a mechanic after his company went broke and now that your mother was gone, you had to take care of everything.

On the one hand, you worried because he couldn't even do his own laundry. Especially in moments when the old loving father shone through. Mostly when he was sober or when friends were visiting. Then he showed his best side. Polite, loving, trustworthy.

But this illusion disappeared as soon as the last guest had left the apartment. He lost himself everyday a bit more and you couldn't do anything. You could just watch.

"Really? All evening?"

You nibbled unconsciously on the back of your pencil and looked up from your Laptop to see that Chan had been watching you the whole time.

"Yeah... It's really a lot to learn."

"Okay... I can come over too and I'll help you study."

He didn't want to bother you or press you, though he had noticed how you had changed lately. Back in high school, you could be found at every party. You were always surrounded by friends and when you entered the room the attention was on you. But lately you hardly ever left your room, you were quieter and more reserved. Except when you were together. With Chan you were as he knew you. Open, loud and self-confident.

Chan had always liked that about you. No one managed to get you down. You fought on and on, with a grin on your lips. He suspected that it was because of your studies and all the stress that you had withdrawn.

At his question, you thought of your father lying on the couch just one door down, drunk and commenting loudly on the baseball game.

"No, it's okay. It's late anyway."

Chan glanced out the window. Dusk had not yet set in and the birds were chirping loudly.

"But you're coming to the party with me tomorrow?" he asked, now for the hundredth time this week. Directly, your heart pounded louder.

Chan had asked you last week if you wanted to be his plus one for a celebration for the release of a new campaign by an expensive brand. When he had asked you, you had frowned, while leaning your head against his chest and cuddled up under the covers. Completely confused, you had sat up and the movie you were watching had slipped into the background.

"What?" you'd asked, and Chan had just smiled softly.

"I get to take someone with me, so I thought it might be fun if we dressed up and pretended to be arrogant snobs for an evening."

Looking into Chan's eyes, you felt like it too. It sounded exciting and you realised again that Chan lived in a completely different world than you.

"So what do you say?"

You had looked down at your hands in confusion.

"I'll need an expensive dress, shoes.... Oh God... Are you sure about this? Not that I'll embarrass you there."

He had laughed, wrapping his arms around your stomach from behind and leaning his head against yours.

"I think I'm more likely to embarrass us. Fashion and clothes suit you more than me..."

You had to grin. In fact, you were very interested in fashion. You went shopping a lot, especially with Felix and Jeongin. When you showed Chan your outfits afterwards, he was happy, but with the best will in the world he didn't understand the difference between a cardigan and a wool jacket.

Chan wore hoodies outside of work, simple shirts, and the occasional pair of jeans when he was exerting himself.

Still, you remained indecisive and leaned against his chest, sighing.

"But don't worry. There are no cameras and no paparazzi. We're completely free there."

That made you feel increasingly relieved, and you nodded.

The very next day you had dragged Felix from store to store to pick out a suitable dress. You wanted to surprise Chan and maybe even to impress him. Finally, you had settled on a black cocktail dress that fit snugly at the waist. It was simple, chic, and looked expensive.

Felix had clapped his hands enthusiastically. "That's sexy as hell! Chan's going to go nuts."

He'd laughed and you dismissed the little comment as a joke. After all, his members were always joking about the two of you. Secretly, they didn't believe you that there had never been anything going on between you and that was quite funny to you.

"Well, sure. Nobody can stop me from going with you to that expensive Party full of expensive people," you answered him. Chan grinned with satisfaction.

"I can't wait to see the dress. Felix won't even tell me the color and has been raving about it all along."

You smiled and hid your red cheeks behind your book.

"You'll see soon enough."

"I'll pick you up tomorrow then."

"All right."

In the brief silence, you heard a demo playing in the background. So Chan was still working, too.

"I'm excited. But I'm scared," you finally said. Neither of you wanted to end the conversation and hang up.

"Me too... But this should be fun."

You nodded and rolled onto your back, holding the phone above you. Chan looked at you in silence for a while. Your hair was spread out around your head on the bedspread and your eyes were shining happily. How he wished he could be with you right now, touch you and not just the stupid screen.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Channie."

He smiled and winked at you.

"See you tomorrow, princess."

With a flutter in your stomach, you set the phone aside as his face disappeared.

"That's how you're going out? You look like a hooker! You want to get laid that bad?"

The words stabbed at you like knifes directly into your chest. You were just on your way out the door. Chan had texted that he was leaving and you wanted to stop him from ringing the doorbell and running into your father. He had come home smelling of whiskey and upset that you hadn't put enough cheese on the spaghetti you had put out for him in the kitchen.

Immediately, insecurity overshadowed your actual joy. You clutched your purse and looked down at yourself as your father looked over at you from the couch.

You had your hair up, put on a little makeup. The red lipstick went perfectly with the black minidress and black high heels that made your legs look even longer than they did anyway. When you had been in the bathroom and seen your reflection, you felt like a princess. Your father had managed to make you feel like a slut with just a few words.

"What ... I thought..." you mumbled, tugging uneasily at the hem of your dress. That's when you saw a cone of light appear through the window and Chan's car pulled up to the street in front of the house.

"So you don't have to wonder when men get assaultive... Revealing your ass and tits like that. It's cheap," he rumbled on and before you could give the tears a chance, you muttered in an occupied voice:

"I'm leaving."

But you grabbed a jacket and pulled it tight around your body. You tried not to let on how hurt you were as you walked toward Chan's car.

He was already leaning on the passenger side. He looked incredibly handsome in the black suit that stretched tightly around his broad shoulders. His hair was a little too neat for your taste. You loved his messy curls, but right now it matched the expensive look.

His whole face lit up at the sight of you and your heart immediately lightened a bit.

Arriving at his place, you just wanted to quickly get in the car and get out of here. Your father's words kept circling in your head and you wrapped your arms tighter around your body.

"What's wrong? Let me see your outfit," Chan said, stopping you with his hands on your shoulders.

"Can we just leave?," you muttered dejectedly, and that's when he frowned in wonder.

Directly he nodded and held the door open for you to get in. On the ride, he tried to distract you with chit-chat and change the petrified look on your face. But even when you arrived at the location, you didn't dare to take off your jacket. After you parked the car and stood in front of the pompous entrance, he took your hand and forced you to look at him. You almost instantly burst into tears when you saw his worried expression.

"May I see the dress you choose for me?"

You swallowed hard. Afraid that he would react the same way your father did. Chan's opinion mattered to you more than any other, which is why you clasped his hand uncertainly. He carefully stroked his hands up your arms, under your jacket and looked at you questioningly. You nodded curtly and that's when he slid the jacket off your shoulders. His eyes got big and his mouth was instantly open as he finally saw what you had been working on all evening.

"Wow you look amazing..." he gasped and his eyes kept wandering up and down your body. Finally they lingered on your face and you smiled in relief. His honest enthusiasm lifted the weight off your shoulders.

"Thank you..." you whispered, and that's when his face suddenly hardened again. He threw the jacket into the car and put his hands on your waist.

"Did anyone say anything else?" he asked seriously and you nibbled uncomfortably on your lower lip.

"You don't think it's too revealing?" you asked instead, anger flashing in his eyes. Whoever had said something that made you feel even slightly less beautiful than you were, he would loved to punch the stupidness out of that asshole.

"As long as you feel comfortable, you can wear whatever you want. Anyone who says otherwise is a idiot and has the manners of a primate," he assured you, gently pulled you at your waist closer. Your heart leapt as your faces hovered close to each other. You lost yourself in his eyes, as you had so many times before, and put your hands to his chest. Again and again you knew that you shouldn’t react like that because of the touch of your best friend, but you couldn’t help it. He was kind, always there for you and looked incredibly hot right now.

"You're going to outshine everyone tonight... I really want to show off with you now," he whispered and your stomach did somersaults.

"Then let's go," you replied and as you smiled honestly again, Chan almost burst with happiness. He offered you his arm and you took it nervously.

Together with Chan, the party was really fun. You drank expensive champagne, you met many of his colleagues and friends, and you did some nonsense with Chan, while playing rich and arrogant.

With him everything was so easy and all the worries seemed to be forgotten. Chan made sure you were comfortable the whole time, never leaving your side and giving a warning look to any man who looked at you for a second too long. You caught yourself pressing the back of your hand to your cheeks to cool them down as Chan put an arm around you during a conversation. A handsome young man Chan knew from his days as a trainee had approached you. He wore a very expensive suit, and a watch that was probably worth four times as much as your apartment.

"Chan your companion looks really gorgeous. How long have you been together?"

Chan froze, and you had just smiled sheepishly.

"We're just friends."

The dark-haired one had directly raised his eyebrows and looked at Chan in surprise. From that point on, he had flirted with you shamelessly, complimented you, and when you had chuckled at one of his jokes, Chan had cleared his throat and wrapped his arm tightly around your waist. Since then, his hand had been tight on your hip and it seemed almost possessive. One look at Chan's face had been enough and the guy was gone. His jaw twitched, so tightly because he clenched his teeth so tensed, and when the guy was finally gone, Chan pulled you along.

"Finally. I thought he'd never stop drooling over you."

You had to grin, trying not to think the whole time about Chan's thumb circling over your hip bone.

"Are you jealous?" you teased, poking him in the side with your index finger.

"I'm not... No."

He quickly averted his eyes from yours, because otherwise he would have said something stupid.

"You're my best friend, and I don't want you getting hit on by random guys."

You walked to Buffet together and all the stares that followed you made you uneasily play with the strap of your purse.

"I thought that was a friend of yours?"

"So what? You're worth twice what he could give."

You had been eyed curiously all evening. No one had expected Chan to show up with a female companion.

At the buffet, you really tried hard not to look too disgusted. You couldn't even identify most of the food. There were little morsels of strange colors and shapes, and even if you knew how to eat them, you probably wouldn't be skilled enough.

You held Chan's arm in a panic and whispered:

"I can't do this... The food looks like aliens brought it."

To your surprise, he had to push back his laughter with all his might.

"Yeah I know."

By now, many of the people were whispering about you and you didn't miss the envious and deprecating looks. You didn't belong here at all. You were not an idol, a rich girl or from an elite university. Looking around uneasily, the air grew thinner and thinner, you clung to Chan until he pulled you away from the buffet.

"What are you doing?" you whispered as he took your hand and clasped it tightly with his.

"We're getting out of here. I need something you can actually eat."

Together you sneaked away from the party and ran to his car giggling like kids who had done something wrong.

As soon as he started the engine and drove away, you breathed a sigh of relief.

"That was exciting, but don't ever ask me to come to something like that again!"

Chan laughed and immediately you felt warm.

"I promise."

Even though you looked beautiful, like a princess straight out of a movie, he loved even more that you just didn't fit there. You didn't care about status, money or power. You looked at him the same way you did when you were in school, and Chan increasingly realized how much he needed that in addition to his work and growing fame.

"Where are we going?" you asked, looking out the window with a bright smile.

"Burgers and fries?" he asked, and you were overcome with deja vu. Always after the last hour of math that week, you had gone to the fast food joint behind the school together and shared a meal.

"In this clothes?" you asked with raised eyebrows, and he shrugged.

"Well, sure.“

So a few minutes later you were sitting in the fast food restaurant in your expensive suit and dress, devouring your burgers. People were staring at you, but you didn't mind. You laughed as you mocked the arrogant guests at the party and made fun of the hairstyle of the older lady who had talked shit about you and thought you didn’t hear. It was refreshing and easy with Chan.

That's why it was even harder for you to get out of his car that evening. At your front door, he hugged you tightly and kissed your forehead.

"Thank you for being with me today."

You smiled and wished you hadn't let go of him.

"Always. But next time we do a normal movie night again, okay?“

You both chuckled and he nodded.

„Yes sure. The dress was okay, but you know I love you in ugly sweatpants.“

Snoring you rolled your eyes and opened the door.

He waited until you disappeared into the house before sauntering back to the car. As he did, he grinned stupidly and hummed to himself.

A week later, he had received nothing but terse messages from you. Actually, you were going shopping together to make your own pizza and watch movies. Just you and Chan, as it had become a habit by now.

But you had canceled at short notice, with a terse message, and hadn't contacted him since. Chan had a queasy feeling in his stomach and had been staring at his cell phone for hours to see if maybe you had written something. He just couldn't concentrate on his laptop even though he had lots of work to do.

His thoughts kept drifting to you. By now he was wondering if he had done something wrong or if something had happened.

Groaning, he threw himself backwards in his chair so that he rolled away from the computer and pressed both hands to his face. Then he tapped your number and waited for it to ring. After the first beep he threw it on his table. He didn't mean to be annoying or clingy, but the disturbed look on your face when he'd picked you up wouldn't let him go. He had never seen you so rattled. Surely there had to be a reason for this?

"Hello? Chan?" he finally heard from his cell phone on the table. Your voice sounded weak, shaky, like you'd been crying.

He quickly scooted back to the desk and leaned over the cell phone.

"Hey... I just wanted to ask if everything was okay?"

There was silence for quite a while until Chan guessed you had hung up, but that's when he heard your breathing going rattly.

"Y/N?" he asked cautiously.

"Chan I can't talk right now. I have a lot to do."

It sounded almost choked, like someone was squeezing your throat.

Completely perplexed, Chan grabbed his cell phone as if he could reach you better that way.

"Wait! You canceled so suddenly and I haven't heard from you in days. Are you sure everything's okay?"

There was a rustling on the other end of the line, as if you were switching rooms. Again no answer, just your breathing, and Chan began pacing restlessly up and down his room.

After a while, you cleared your throat.

"Everything is fine, Chan. I'll be in touch soon."

It sounded like a sentence you had memorized and played all over again. Chan was about to say something back and winced when a door banged in the background near you. Then a man yelled your name. Chan could hear your breath catch and froze in motion.

"I have to go."

You sounded rushed, agitated, and your voice was busy.

"Y/N! Do you want me to come over?" he asked directly and you had to press your hand over your mouth to keep from sobbing out loud.

"No! No please don't. I'll text you."

Then the line went dead. Chan stared at his phone for a full minute, trying to find an innocuous explanation for what he had just heard. But he had to convince himself that you were all right. Otherwise, he wouldn't sleep for a second.

He got into his car, it was raining cats and dogs and you had to drive slowly to see anything at all. He held his jacket over his head until he reached your front door, but the wind was so strong that he was soaked in seconds.

He rang the doorbell and it took a while for the door to open a crack. He could see your face through it, slightly illuminated by the flickering light in the hallway and at the sight of him you froze.

Panic-stricken, you opened the door a little more but did not let him in. Your eyes, which usually shone and infected everyone with their energy, were dull and red. You had dark circles under your eyes and your lip was split open because you had bitten it so many times. When you were nervous, you always nibbled on your lower lip. A habit with which Chan always teased you because it looked so cute.

But right now the sight frightened him.

"I told you not to come," you whispered, and he barely understood you through the pelting rain. You avoided as much as possible that he could take a look inside.

"I know. But you sounded so weird on the phone. I wanted to make sure everything was okay."

You pushed back the tears with all your might and opened the door a little more so you could look at him better. His hair was wet and by now the rain was dripping from his chin. You wanted him to come in, to get him dry and warm. Feel his strong arms around you and bury your face against his chest, tell him everything, snuggle up to him until you forgot everything. Instead, you said:

"It's okay. Really."

You tried to close the door and thus escape the piercing gaze, but Chan stopped you by putting a foot in the crack.

"What is it?"

His gaze was lower on something behind the door.

"What?" you asked nervously, almost panicked, trying to hide your hand behind your back. But Chan had pushed the door open wider and since he was stronger, it was an easy grab of your arm.

"On your wrists?"

In the flickering light he looked at your wrists and all color fell from his face.

"It's nothing," you tried to dismiss it. Your voice trembled with shame and you quickly pulled your hand away. But he hadn't imagined it. There were clearly deep blue marks on both of your wrists as if a large hand had grabbed you there. Just the sight of it was painful.

"Who was that? Y/N?"

Chan's voice was icy cold, cutting like a blade through the rumble of the thunderstorm. His face was intimidatingly tense. In his usually loving warm eyes, only raging anger. You could not answer. Instead, a single tear rolled down your cheek which you furtively wiped away.

"Y/N? Who's at the door? I told you to clean the kitchen damn it! You're good for nothing!"

Your father's voice rumbled throughout the house and you winced violently. Chan looked more and more intimidating and he suddenly seemed a lot bigger as he clenched his hands into fists.

"Please Channie. Just go!" you pleaded, pushing him back out into the rain. The begging and fear in your voice made him completely lose it. His mind went blank and he could only shake his head as he gradually realized everything. Your strange behavior the last few weeks wasn't because you had so much to learn and were stressed. He blamed himself for not noticing it sooner. Now he remembered all the signs he just hadn't noticed. When you wore hoodies on sunny days, avoided his touch on your arms, or the time you flinched because he jerked his arm up to celebrate his win at Uno against Felix. He had never put all that together into a picture. But now he realized, and there was nothing he could do to undo it.

"Who's there? Answer fucking hell!" your father yelled and now you could clearly hear him slurring his words.

"It's only Chan! He brought me something I forgot at his place" you shouted over your shoulder hoping he would just shut up.

"Chan? Were you going to run off and sleep around?"

Chan couldn't see it, but the older man's voice was closer now. He seemed to have come into the hallway behind you.

"No. I was going to study. Chan will be gone in a minute."

It broke Chan's heart how scared you sounded.

"Don't talk shit! The way you walk around, dressed like a hooker, you're probably trying to get any of Chan's friends into bed!"

Chan wanted to tear open the door, beat the disrespect out of this idiot until he begged for forgiveness. But your shaking hands and pleading look stopped him. He would only make things worse and he didn’t want to hurt you further.

"We're just friends. He‘s leaving."

Your father grunted deprecatingly and you could hear him just throwing an empty beer can on the floor.

"I hope so! You've got plenty to do in the kitchen. The excuse that you have to study doesn't count."

Instead of snapping back, as Chan knew the confident girl he adored so much would, you hung your head and said:

"Yes."

When your father disappeared again, you didn't dare look Chan in the face. It hurt too much and if he looked at you with even a little pity, you would collapse on the spot.

"Y/N, what..."

But that's as far as he got, as you were already shaking your head. Tears in the corners of your eyes and your eyes fixed on the ground in front of you.

"Please just go and don't make it harder for me..."

Then the door slammed shut and Chan ruffled his hair. He wanted to help you, to be there for you, but he didn't know what to do without making everything worse for you.

A few days later, you finally called him. The conversation was tense and he tried not to bring up the subject because you obviously weren't ready yet. But he was somewhat relieved when you asked him if he wanted to help you studying.

Your father was obviously not there and so you were alone.

Chan sat on your bed next to you, quizzing you with index cards or having the topics explained to him. It didn't take long for you to get lost in teasing each other again, fooling around, and it almost felt like normalcy. However, Chan just couldn't manage to banish that evening from his mind.

It resonated like a dark shadow and you could feel it too. But you didn't know what to say to Chan. It was all just too much.

You hid the bruises on your wrists under your thick hoodie and only sometimes did it slip back and Chan's smile disappeared immediately every time he saw a glint of it.

When the front door slammed, though, you jumped from the bed, startled.

"Shit! He said he won't be back until late at night..."

"Y/N! Where are you?" he was already yelling through the apartment by then, peppering his keys on the dresser. Chan's expression darkened directly and you put your index finger to your lips.

"Just stay here and be quiet"

Before he could respond, you had rushed out of the room and to your father's side so he wouldn't get any angrier. You just had to see the glazed eyes and you knew he had been drinking on the job.

"You're here already?"

He nodded and pointed to the pile of clothes next to the iron that he had thrown there this morning.

"I told you to iron my shirts," he said.

"I haven't gotten around to that yet. I have an important exam tomorrow and Chan is helping me study," you tried to calm him and that's when you saw Chan already standing in the doorway behind your father. His brow was furrowed in concern and you shook your head, barely noticeable.

Your father took a beer from the kitchen counter and opened it with the lighter in his pocket. You could see his nostrils twitch. He was furious and whirled around to face you:

"Bullshit. You're good for nothing! And this guy is just a bad influence. Ever since he's been here all the time, you've been dressing like a whore, always at his place, and an ungrateful brat!"

Gradually, anger overshadowed your fear of what might come. In the last few days it had become worse and worse. Suddenly your father had become handsy and much more easily irritable. He was drunk by noon and you suspected that he had lost his job. When you had called him on it, he had freaked out and grabbed your wrists too tightly that they still hurt.

"Chan has nothing to do with this! He's my best friend and you're not going to stop me from seeing him!"

It was the first time you fought back, but he wouldn't take away the only thing that was good in your life. Chan gave you strength to go on until you were ready to leave it all behind.

"Are you contradicting me?"

His voice rumbled like a thunderstorm and he looked at you like an insect to be squashed. Chan gritted his teeth and literally pierced your father with withering glances.

"You're just as ungrateful as your mother! I let you live here for free, take care of you, and you act like you take it all for granted! Your are a fucking disappointment.“

Anger clawed at your chest and tore at you painfully. Chan's presence gave you the strength to look your father in the eye for the first time. It made him even angrier, but there was also despair. Despair that he could no longer control and intimidate you.

"Mom was clearly smarter than me when she disappeared," you hissed belligerently, pressing your hands against your thighs so he wouldn't see how much you were shaking and afraid of him.

"What the fuck did you say?" he yelled, smashing the full beer can onto the kitchen floor. Your eyelids fluttered, but you didn't jerk back.

"You're pathetic, disgusting, and a shitty person! I'll never forgive Mom for not taking me with her when she finally left you!" you snapped at him, and his head ran so red you feared it would burst. There was a burning feeling of satisfaction when you finally spoke what you could have said a long time ago.

"You stupid bitch! I guess you need to be taught some manners!" he growled aggressively and when he raised his hand and you just saw him lash out, you regretted opening your mouth. You squinted your eyes, yanked your arms protectively up and waited for the blow to hit you, but nothing happened. The next time you opened your eyes, you heard your heart pounding so loudly in your ears that you didn't even hear Chan's voice. He was standing in front of you, his broad shoulders protecting your body, and in record time had caught the hand that would have hit your face. Hard, he pushed back your father, who staggered a few steps.

He stood like a wall between you and your father, not moving a bit and fixing your father with such a coldness in its eyes that you shuddered.

"Touch her again and I'll kill you!"

The threat sounded deadly serious and even your father was completely thrown off until he shouted again:

"Do you think I'm afraid of you? I‘m not!“

Chan was so calm it was really scary. He tilted his head a little, his features softened, and he actually smiled. However, the smile didn't reach his eyes. If he had looked at you like that, you probably would have dropped dead.

"Yes of course. Someone who is that stupid and doesn't realize what a special daughter he has can only be that dumb"

This only fueled your father's aggression even more. Chan's calm and intimidating manner caused the temperature in the room to drop.

"You son of a bitch! Get out of the way!"

The main artery on your father's neck stood out dangerously, but before he could take a step, Chan stood so close to him that their noses almost touched. His eyes snapped open in surprise, and his lips vibrated in overwhelm.

"I definitely will not! You'll never touch her again, or even speak to her, until you realize what a hard-working, loving, intelligent daughter you have! You're lucky she's here and I want to spare her the sight of me beating the shit out of you, because I really really want to…“

There was indeed fear in your father's eyes. You had never seen that side of Chan. He was always friendly, in a good mood and attentive. But now he was really intimating while protecting you and you could only watch as he tapped your father on the shoulder. It was clearly a warning and without breaking eye contact, he said:

"Let’s go, Y/N. We‘ll leave!“

You couldn't say anything. You were in a trance. Your feet carried you all alone to your room where you packed some clothes, your toothbrush, your laptop and a few important things.

In the living room, your father sat silently on the sofa, not daring to look in your direction. Chan was leaning against the door with his arms crossed and his whole attitude was different again. He looked at you with such gentleness and took your backpack directly from you. Together you walked to the car in silence. Only when you had left your house far behind, he asked:

"How long has this been going on?"

By now it didn't matter anyway. You didn't know if you'd ever go back home, so you told him everything.

"Since mom left. But in the last few weeks, it's gotten worse."

"Did he hurt you?"

Chan's fingers tapped restlessly on the steering wheel. You tugged at the sleeves of your hoodie.

"Not really... Thanks to you."

He nodded, and as soon as you arrived at the guys' dorm, you froze in front of the door.

"The others aren't here. They won't be here until later."

Gratefully you nodded and just as he pulled the door shut behind you, everything burst out of you. A big stone fell off your shoulders and all that pent-up tension found a way to get out. You buried your face in your hands and painful sobs shook your whole body.

Immediately Chan pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly and rocking you back and forth soothingly. You were infinitely grateful to him for not saying anything and just being there. You cried until your body was exhausted and your tears empty. Chan was still holding you. His warmth and body soothed you and you sucked in his scent, which gave you a sense of security that your own home did not. When he felt that you were no longer crying, but only sniffling weakly, he let you out of his tight embrace. His hoodie was wet from your tears where you had pressed your face against his chest and he lovingly cupped your face with both hands. With his thumbs, he brushed the tears from your flushed cheeks and a few strands of hair from your face.

"Are you hungry? Do you want me to cook something?" he asked caringly and you held onto his arm for fear he might just disappear.

"No. No please just stay with me."

Quickly he nodded and intertwined his fingers with yours. Directly everything didn't feel so heavy and hopeless anymore.

He led you into his room and lay down with you under his blanket. You snuggled up close to him. He gave you warmth, comfort and hope. For the first time in a long time, it felt like you were where you belonged.

He pulled you closer to him until you were lying on his chest, your legs intertwined and your cheek right over his heart. He stroked through your hair and with his other hand under your hoodie over your bare back. His touches were like little lightning bolts, channeling energy back into your body.

You let your fingers circle over his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

"How come you never said anything?" he asked, and you could hear him blaming himself for not noticing something sooner.

You rested your chin on the back of your hand and looked him in the eye. Your noses almost touched and his big hands left a tingle on your skin.

"I was scared and I was ashamed. I thought I could do this on my own."

He wrapped a strand of your hair around his finger, enjoying your body heat and your weight on his. Everything about you made his life so much better and he was glad you were now with him and safe.

"You're not alone, though. I'm here.“

The corners of your mouth lifted and when you smiled, Chan's heart nearly jumped out of his chest.

"Thank you Chan."

He smiled as well. His dimples charmed you and you couldn't stop looking at his features, which you knew by heart. He lost himself in thought, stroking his finger down your temple to your cheek.

"You are important to me. I can't imagine life without you, and you deserve to be happy, to be loved, and to be treated with the respect you deserve."

His words touched you and thanks to him, you finally understood that.

When his finger reached your chin, he stroked your lower lip with his thumb. Thousands of butterflies fluttered up in your stomach and you could only stare at him with your mouth slightly open.

"Stay here. As long as you want."

The affection in his eyes, his gentle touches and his body so close to yours, made you forget all caution. You couldn't help but finally listen to your feelings. You just had to lean forward to overcome the distance and touch his lips. You kissed him cautiously at first, but when you felt his hand on the back of your neck and how he pulled you closer by the waist, you moved your lips more intensely against his.

All the despair, anger and fear dissolved into thin air and all you felt was Chan. He complemented you where you needed him and now that he returned the kiss, you melted in his arms with relief.

He let his tongue glide gently over your lower lip and when you opened your mouth and he let his tongue slide against yours, you asked why it had taken you so long. He was in your life all this time and only now you had the clarity to see how much he really meant to you.

The kiss was slow, sensual and healing. When he released you after a while, you were both beaming from within and grinning at each other.

"I've been wanting to do that for ages," he murmured, and your cheeks were all rosy.

That's when you heard the front door open and the loud chatter of the boys echoed to you. Before you could climb off of him, he held you by the waist once more and pressed his lips to yours almost panicked. He just had to make sure he wasn't imagining it. Quickly burying your hands in his hair, you returned the stormier kiss until you broke away from each other, panting.

He grinned broadly, his eyes sparking.

"Let's go tell the guys that my girlfriend is their new roommate."

"Girlfriend?" you asked, surprised, and inside you were jumping up and down excitedly.

He pulled you onto his lap and pressed a kiss to your nose.

"Well, I hope so. Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

You didn't have to think for a second before you nodded vehemently.

"Yes... Yes that would be nice."

Chan breathed a sigh of relief and wrapped his arms around your body so tightly that you could hardly breathe.

When you told the others about it, they actually were a little too delighted. At least Hyunjin clapped his hands loudly and was given money in each hand by Changbin and Seungmin. They've been betting for months when you'll finally get it. Obviously everyone around you knew it, except for you.

While Chan chased Jisung around the kitchen for congratulating him, saying that if it had taken longer he would have asked you out himself.

It had felt like you had lost your family, but now, in the midst of eight boys and with Chan by your side, you realized that you had been building your own little family all along.

That night, before you fell asleep in Chan's arms, tight in his arms and exhausted from the day, you heard him whispering by your ear.

"I love you... I'm here. Always."

And you immediately knew everything will be fine.

————————————-

If you’re experiencing domestic violence or any kind of assault please talk to someone. You’re not alone!

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