#Skinnysp9

[thebadthoughtsaresafehere]

I just gotta say it.

Struggling with an eating disorder is hard. But coming back to this app..

To look for the page that I freely vented my emotions into, to find it had been absolutely deleted and everything is gone forever, breaks my fucking heart. This is not just a whim of a community you're reporting. I had ONE safe space, where I felt even REMOTELY comfortable sharing my feelings on this. You have NO idea, how much that helped me. How it helped to release those feelings and to learn/see/understand that I wasn't the only one with these ugly feelings.

I don't talk about these thoughts to anyone. No one knows this is happening, and I'll tell you one thing. Reporting stupid social media accounts doesn't force us into recovery. It causes a downward spiral. People with eating disorders are typically hyper focused on what they CAN control (calories, weight, social media) and these disorders frequently stem from feeling like we have no control.

So to report the pages because you "don't like it" "don't support it" or "want to encourage people to get help"

Doesn't. Do. Anything. Read that again. Reporting ED accounts doesn't do anything. I come here when the thoughts in my head are getting bad again. I come here when I feel alone.

At this point, I was recovering, and I sometimes returned to my page to remind myself how bad it had really gotten. How sick I really was.

And now it's GONE. all of it, my entire safe place, all my pain turned into love before my eyes. I lost it all.

I want you to genuinely think before you report an ED page. We're ALL struggling. And maybe we do need help. But reporting and causing us to lose everything, doesn't fix a single thing. You made a brand new problem that I now have to go sort through mentally, without any help to remind me how far I've come. I have no ammunition any longer to combat the thoughts in my head about being fat, ugly, stupid, and worthless. And I get to fight through that alone, because someone tried to take my safe place from me. This ends now.

If you don't like what you see, simply leave that side of a Tumblr page. Nobody asked you to be here if you don't want to be. But if you're here to cause trouble, disturb our pages, take a second and think what it might actually mean to us. You're not saving us from anything. I have nothing to encourage me not to start starving again. So thank you. Thanks for that. Thanks for ruining the one safe space I had when I personally don't feel comfortable talking about it. I hope it was worth it to you.