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minaim-blog · 5 years

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DaTr Date Night - Part 1 - At The Arcade

There’s school tomorrow but it’s date night for Dib and Tak. As a break from their usual night out Dib brought her to the local arcade, but there Tak finds something she can’t beat down or pause for later. Will she be able to overcome or this truly unbeatable?

Tak reviewed the state of her vessel meticulously through its computer console. She noted a stable life-support system and defense array at near maximum power, its sensor’s registered itself atop an atmosphere-less asteroid hurling through space with her opponent nowhere to be found. She concluded the disappearance was caused by a cloaking device attached to the enemy’s ship which she had noted lend itself quite nicely to their tactic of minor aggression followed by hasty retreat, repeating until victory was achieved. It had only succeed in dealing minor damage to her vessel both now and at an earlier encounter, but she knew her opponent would need more than a cheap trick to take down an Irken Invader, and also that her opponent (for all she could tell) could not supply anything else beyond that.

Still, she was just as cautious as she was assured of her own victory, as only a fool would let themselves be defeated by their own overconfidence. Contrary to the greatest annoyance on this dirt ball of a planet, which she’s been existing on now for more than six of its solar cycles: Zim. Whose very existence breathed overconfidence, and yet also possessed an infallible tenacity that refused to perish no matter how far to the brink of devastation it was brought. While she did think the later was an admirable trait, she never would have said this openly to him, as it would have only made him that much more insufferable. She was hesitant to call him an ally, more so a neighbor in banishment, and he could still inspire within her a feeling of deepest frustration and malcontent whenever he dared to proclaimed himself as anything besides incompetent.

“Zim is neither here now, nor the reason for coming out.”

She had to tell herself this to refocus on the enemy at hand. Thankfully just as she brought herself back to the battle the enemy provided her with a means to its end. While her enemy’s cloaking device mostly obscured it from her ship’s sensors it was not completely unidentifiable. In their previous encounter Tak noted that her sensor array, while unable to detect the enemy ship, could pick-up any projectile based artillery fired on the battlefield, and thanks to the now incoming fire she was able to pinpoint the general location of her enemy. Maneuvering her vessel past the incoming missiles she utilized her ship’s ability to release a focused EMP based attack at the location of fire, while it deals no damage it makes up for it in its useful ability to remove any buffs the target possess. In one swift motion Tak was both able to avoid the enemy fire and release the blast towards it source leaving two ships now visible on the battle field. Pleased with her accomplishment but rather annoyed at the lack of challenge Tak revealed her disgruntlement,

“Alright, hide and seek is done. Let’s get this over with quickly, my boyfriend and I had the rest of the evening planned.”

Saying this however seemed to anger her opponent, which while it was not her intention, helped in ending their confrontation. Her opponent charge forward blindly in an attack that was easily dodged and Tak followed it with one of her own, dealing major damage to his ship. The vessel she was piloting possessed relatively weak firepower and average defenses but exceled at maneuverability and close quarters combat. Her opponent’s ship lacked firepower, defenses, and had only average maneuverability at best. Its only strength was its cloaking device, which was now useless.

“You know when I said, ‘get this over with’ I didn’t think you would just throw yourself at me. I thought you said you wanted a rematch?”

A display showed up on her screen with a video feed of her enemy, and she was surprised that even with the filter it provided the human looked just as greasy and disgusting as normal. Perhaps even more so, if that was possible. Her opponent roared,

“This is our rematch!”

Goading her enemies was something Tak had trouble avoiding and hated to admit it, but she chastised herself saying that Zim was rubbing off on her and hated that even more. In the instance she thought this to herself her opponent had already charged at her again and was able to land a blow. Tak quickly brought herself to attention and used her opponent’s over extension against him as he spurred a flurry of attacks, and was able to land a powerful counter. The blow was not fatal but the stun it provided allowed Tak to finish him off in her own sequence of attacks or “COMBOS” as Gaz had corrected her before. Tak even tried to remember one of the strings Gaz showed her last time they played together.

“Down, down, up, up, right, left, right, left. Or was it reverse? Was there an ‘X’ somewhere? Or was it ‘B’?”

She continued thinking like this to herself while she was attacking and complained that humans should streamline their attack commands if they ever wanted a chance against a more efficient species. True to any video game however, simply mashing buttons brought her to victory without even focusing and her opponent’s ship was rubble in no time at all. The computer screen on her ship beamed “PLAYER 2 WINS!” and an electronic fanfare blasted into her ears which together with the strobe lights was almost making her nauseous. Thankfully her work was done, and she removed the virtual reality helmet she had been wearing during the fight and found herself in the familiar arcade Dib had managed to drag her into.

Her opponent: the greasy, sweaty, and annoying human, was banging his fists on the computer console and his helmet, managing to hurt himself doing so. He tore off his helmet and glared at Tak while shouting again,

“I want a rematch!”

“That was your rematch.” Tak responded. “And like the first one, it wasn’t much of a match.”

“I would have beaten you, if it weren’t for your bullshit!”

Tak pricked up her brows at that. “Really? Cause from where I’m looking the ship you choose could probably be called ‘bullshit’. I however would call it more of a crutch.”

“It’s not a crutch! It’s a perfectly fair and balanced mechanic! Your ship was the one that’s unfair, it completely counters anything I could throw at it.”

“Why didn’t you pick a ship that was better equipped at fighting it then? I choose the same ship twice.” She removed the gloves to the simulation and got out of her seat while saying this, as indifferent towards him as was physically possible.

“Because I don’t need bullshit like you to kick your ass!”

“Evidently you do, or else you would have won.” She ended their conversation honestly, but her opponent didn’t appreciate it and was now spewing Earth profanities at her as she went away, which she did not care to pay attention to. She wasn’t upset at the profanities, it just made him that much more annoying, but she did feel sorry for him. She knew his emotions would only distract him and never let him improve, and just thinking about that concept made her stomach turn over. The crowd that had surrounded them during their battled seemed to be disappointed and pitied her opponent, but knowing humans she doubted it was for the same reason as her.

“Come along Mimi, let’s find Dib. I’ve had enough of this place.” Her loyal SIR unit, disguised as a cat, followed her in suit after collecting tickets that came from her machine, the purpose of which, still eluded Tak. She then made her way through the crowded and began the search for her big-headed boyfriend.

She had agreed to come to this arcade at request of Dib in hopes of having a “normal” date night. “You know without fighting off intergalactic threats, or hunting paranormal creatures, or having to make sure Zim doesn’t blow up the universe with one of his inane schemes.” She could hear him speak in her memory, and she still didn’t understand what was so much better about a “normal” date. Those fights were at least exciting and even if the enemy was smelly or annoying she was allowed to hit them. The bigfeet stalking he took her on typically ended in the two of them just walking through the forest and talking about anything, which was perfect as far as she was concerned. And not having to worry about Zim depended on Zim, and the probability of him taking a night off to make sure he didn’t spoil their night was about as likely as either one of them ever being allowed within a parsec of Irk again. Their entire night had been a let down from the beginning. As soon as they had set foot into the arcade she was overcome by the smell of old popcorn and stale candy, with jarring sound effects coming from every corner she looked. The dim lights contrasted by the bright consoles reminded her of a miserable city-planet she saw long ago, and the patrons where just as charming as they were clean.

Dib had tried to win her over when he saw how disappointed she knew she looked, he tried to tell her that the real attraction to the place were the games, not the ambiance. Though she had trouble seeing how any of the games could pass for recreation. The first game he brought them to was called “Sky Ball” or some other such nonsense, the purpose of which entailed rolling balls up a ramp into goal posts. While that may have proven a challenge for humans an Irken smeet could probably play that game, and she had been able to beat Dib with a perfect score using fundamental physics. Not to say Dib did horrible, but not perfect. Another game they played involved a battle simulation and Tak was confused how such a thing was meant as recreation and not military training. Another one involved playing as a yellow circle gathering pixels while avoiding ghosts, or one of Dib’s other interests, that clearly followed a predefined path, and so were easily avoidable to the point where she could have beaten the game in her sleep. Every other game they played followed suit similarly, if Tak was playing she found it either too easy or uninteresting, and if they played together Dib didn’t provide an adequate challenge for her. She was very happy that losing didn’t seem to bother Dib too much, definitely not as much as the human she just beat. Eventually he was just as bored by the arcade as she was and the two of them left to the food court section of the arcade to sit down and eat. Dib ordered a plate of nachos for them to split which were adequate except for the cheese which tasted more like syrup than cheese, and she had gagged on it. She then tried to wash it down with a drink from there which she nearly threw back up from the taste and way it burned her throat. While she had spent some time on the planet and built up a resistance to its filth, it didn’t do too much to help. Dib freaked out more than she did and probably would have carried her all the way back to her base if she let him. Tak was able to compose herself though and told him she was fine, but having had enough of their food she told him she needed a moment to walk it off. It was during that time that she ran into the apparent “champion” of the ship battle simulator, which she of course found to be anything but.

Right now she was exhausted of the arcade and just wanted to find Dib and maybe enjoy the walk home together. She made her way back to the food court but was only able to find the empty table they sat at before she left. She was just about to call him and save herself the time looking for him when Mimi grabbed her attention and pointed to familiar trench coat at the far end of the food court. Dib was on a small platform connected to a console doing what she assumed (and dreaded) was some sort of Earth dance, but it seemed that he couldn’t decide if he wanted to be fluid or firm in his movements. His feet were moving up and down the platform in a sporadic manner, but his upper body for the most part wasn’t doing all too much except for when he occasionally brought up his arms for emphasis of a move. While normally she would have been annoyed at him making a fool of himself, after the fiasco their date night had been it was refreshingly humorous. Still, she wasn’t in the mood to stay there any longer than she had to and made her way over to him. As she got closer she could make out on the main screen was a series of arrows overlaid on graphics scrolling from the bottom of the screen to the top and on the platform were corresponding symbols. Blasting out of the consoles speakers was the most jarring music Earth had to offer. So her fears were right and it was a dancing simulator, if the humans could even call it dancing. She approached Dib just as the music was reaching its climax and didn’t try to hide the bewilderment in her voice.

“What on Irk are you doing?”

Dib was caught off guard and immediately spun around to her voice. “Tak! Are you feeling better now?” He was leaning over the guardrails on the platform, evidently a little tired out from his excursion.

“I’m fine.” She answered tersely, “But I’m ready to leave. I’ve had enough of this arcade.” She was looking past Dib at the machine, unable to hide her sickening curiosity of it. “What is this ridiculous contraption?”

“This? It’s DDR. Do you want to play a round before we go?”

Tak double checked herself to make sure she heard him correctly. “Are you serious? I just told you I’m ready to leave, I’m not in the mood for ‘a round’ of another one of your dumb Earth games!”

“Yeah, but…This one’s different.” Dib pointed behind him as he spoke sheepishly to her.

“Different?”

“Yeah all the other games we’ve played have been pretty straight forward. Applying physics, shooting stuff, avoiding AI patterns-”

“-Basic combat strategies.”

“Which one did we play that was about that?”

“I was playing against someone else when I went for my walk. It’s not important.” She waved her hand away as she said this, brushing the subject aside. “How is this one different?”

“Well this game is really about testing timing and coordination, you have to keep your feet to the beat, and also you need the stamina to last till the end of the song. So really its more about your physical fitness than anything else. This is also probably the game I’m the best at here, it’s the only one I’ve ever been able to beat Gaz on.”

“You’ve beaten Gaz on this?” Tak’s interest was piqued, Gaz was incredibly skilled at video games and on the few ones she liked to play against her Gaz always provided an excellent challenge. Gaz hadn’t beaten her every time they played of course, Tak was constantly improving herself and knew it was only a matter of time before she could beat Gaz consistently.

“Yeah, really just because she doesn’t really like this game.”

Tak knew Dib had an ego, but she also noted he tried to diminish it when he was hanging out with her, which she thought was sweet and also good for him. She felt better about not telling him this, in case it would counteract the attempt he was making.

“Well I still don’t know if I want to play this.” Tak said standing with her arms crossed staring at the machine.

Dib grew a grin after she this, “You’re interested in it though.”

“I’m not.”

“Ah, see? There’s that Irken stubbornness I’ve come to admire.”

“I’m not being stubborn. I’m just not interested.” Tak said this even though she was interested in the game a little bit, if only because Dib said he was able to beat Gaz at it, and that is was different from everything else she tried tonight. Even while thinking this, she still wasn’t sure she was interested enough to try it.

“Come on, we’ll play one game and then I’ll walk you home.”

“One game?” Tak asked still folding her arms over her chest, but saying and doing not much else.

“One game. And then I’ll take you home or anywhere else you want to go for the night.”

Tak stood there weighing her options, and eventually it seemed to Dib that Tak’s curiosity got the better of her.

“Fine.” She dragged out, “One game, then take me home.”

Dib did a small fist-pump after hearing this and started setting up the machine.

“The game’s really simple Tak. I’m going to pick a song and on the screen arrows are going to scroll up. When they reach their outlines at the top you just press the matching buttons on the floor. You get extra points for staying in rhythm so if Irkens have any sense of that you’ll have to show me tonight.”

“We don’t have music on Irk Dib, any such distractions are viewed as detrimental to productivity. And so doesn’t go well for the Empire. Even so, I doubt this will be an issue for me.”

Dib made a small raspberry, “Wow. You Irkens really are a happy bunch? I’m honestly surprised Zim’s one of your species.”

“Dib. It’s bad enough for me that you interact with him when we’re all in the same room. Please don’t make this date even worse than it’s already been by bringing him up.”

Dib rolled his eyes at that but didn’t say anything further to the point. “Do you care which song I pick then?” He said this as he took off his trench coat and hanged it on the platform railing.

“They’re all equally hideous to me Dib, but pick something with a bit less ‘pop’ in it. I find those kinds of songs completely unbearable.”

“This one is probably more your style then.” Dib said as he choose the song on the menu, “Techno-Something” or some other nonsense Tak didn’t bother to read. Before they completed the setup Dib noticed Tak taking a long look over the screen then was usually normal for her.

“This should be easy Dib.”

“Don’t sound too sure of yourself Tak, you know I’m full of surprises.”

She grinned slyly at that but didn’t say anything. Dib asked her a final time if she was ready, and after she said she was the game started and a techno mashup blasted through the speakers. It wasn’t one of Dib’s favorite songs, and it didn’t help that the track had a difficult sequence in the beginning. He was putting in his all regardless, and was able to do decent at first but noticed a fall in his quality as the song drew on.

“What’s a matter sweet Dibble, getting tired already?” Tak cooed over to him.

Dib was so focused on his own screen that he hadn’t looked over to Tak at all, when he did he was stunned to see her screen performing a perfect score but her not moving at all. More so from the shock he hunched over and grasped for breath while asking how she was doing that. Then Dib was reminded that his girlfriend was an Irken Invader. She let out a laugh that would send him into a panic if he still thought of her as an enemy. While she was doing so he saw her pak legs fade in and out of visibility as they flawlessly performed the sequence on the screen.

“That’s cheating Tak.” Was all Dib could say.

“Cheating? I’m not cheating. I’m just using my own advantages to my benefit. It’s not my fault you’re a weak human.”

“Yeah but the purpose of the game is to use your own body. I could probably disassemble this whole thing and reprogram it to always give me a perfect game, but I wouldn’t be actually playing the game at that point. Same as you using your pak to play it for you.”

“Yeah, well too bad. Looks like neither of us are playing now, so there’s no point in arguing over technicalities. And I believe our agreement was you’d take me home after we were done. So let’s get going.”

Tak stepped off the platform as she said this and began walking away before Dib interrupted her.

“It’s okay Tak, I get that you need a crutch.” She didn’t say anything but she stopped in her tracks and visibly tighten. “I mean hell, if I had a robot backpack attached to me my whole life, and I depended on it to do all my physical work for me, I don’t think I’d feel too confident in my ability to play this game either. But hey like you said, we’re not playing anymore. But don’t worry we won’t be coming back here so you won’t have to worry about this catching up to you.”

Dib stepped off the platform as he said this and went next to Tak after he grabbed his trench coat off the guard rail. He could see her shaking slightly, he thought from anger, and was worried for a second that he may have touched a sore spot for her. His concern didn’t last after she spoke to him.

“Dib. Make no mistake. I am way stronger, faster, and more agile than you.”

“Right, which you totally just proved.”

“I don’t need to prove anything to you!” She said spinning around to him. The anger in her voice would have sent him into a panic years ago but since then he’s learned a thing or two about her.

“Oh what’s a matter? The little Irken’s afraid of losing to the human.” He teased her.

The two of them were both facing each other as they talked, and Tak after hearing this came close to him and forcefully pointed into Dib’s chest repeatedly for emphasis as she said,

“Never call me little. Ever. Again.”

“Alright, alright.” Dib laughed off. “The very tall, smart, and pretty Irken is afraid of losing to the small, dumb, ugly human.”

Dib leaned over her as he said this and even picked himself slightly off his tippy toes for a moment. Dib was a good bit taller than she was even with how tall she had become while staying on Earth. Tak hated the fact that Dib had grown to be so tall, and hated that she liked it so much.

“You don’t really mean your pak does all the work for you.” Dib tried to say this as smoothly as he possibly could.

Tak backed away from him for a moment and squinted while bringing her hand to her eyes. “Dib, I know exactly what you’re trying to do-”

“-and it’s working?!” Dib interrupted her sounding very hopeful.

She brought her hand over her head and brushed it through her hair. “You are the most annoying human on this planet, and the second most annoying thing overall.”

“Careful Tak, keep talking like that and you’ll end up making my ego bigger than yours.”

“Please. It’s only an ego if you can’t back it up.” Without another word she stretched herself and stood back up on the platform, the previous song having already ended while they were talking.

“Let’s just get this over with. I don’t care what song you pick. Let me just beat you so we can both go home.”

“If that’s the case then I’m going to pick my favorite song on here. I want to give you a real challenge.”

“If you manage to actually do that, that’ll be the biggest surprise this evening.”

Dib glared at that but didn’t say anything related to it. He set up the game and the two of them were preparing themselves.

“And no cheating this time.” Dib said.

“I don’t need to.” Tak hissed out.

There was silence between the two of them as the game counted down before beginning, and Tak could feel the tension between the two of them growing unbearable. Right before it did Dib said playfully,

“I love you Tak!”

Tak was caught off guard by his statement, if only because she didn’t know if he meant it sincerely, if he was just loosening the tension by being weird, or if he was trying to distract her. She was ready to say something in response, what she was going to say she wasn’t sure, but she was interrupted by the start of the round before she could say anything. A gushy pop song blasted through the speakers, it seemed Dib was throwing all the cards against her now, but she was more determined to win now than she had been before in a very long time. The first opening seconds of the song was easy as all the movements followed a predictable sequence, and Tak was able to land all the movements. She noticed she wasn’t earning a perfect score, as the system indicated she hit the correct buttons but not in “beat”, which she now assumed was a more precise timing.

“This is your song Dib? I’m falling asleep here, if that was your plan it’s working.”

“Don’t boast too soon Tak, it’s about to heat up.”

Not a second after Dib said this, the music faded from its current style to a rest. Tak thought it sounded like the low rumblings before an avalanche, and then the song blasted into a crescendo. Tak attempted to follow along but the previous sequence the song followed briefly in the beginning was gone, and the new one seemed almost random, and the music jarring to her. Her feet shuffled trying to hit the pattern, but she was losing all over the place, and felt clumsy on her feet like she had never used them before.

“Not so easy now, is it Tak?”

She could hear Dib goad next to her. She looked over to him for a second and found he was just as clumsy as she was, probably even worse. She didn’t say anything to this though, she just gritted her teeth and growled slightly while trying to focus. She would win this yet. She tried to recover and find the beat, but every time she got the pattern down it seemed the song would change it just to mitigate her progress. She found herself lifting her arms in emphasis of her movements subconsciously, like how she saw Dib do earlier. She was not going to give up, an Invader would never give up even in the face of total defeat. She eventually found a pattern to the madness, and while she wasn’t hitting every note the song threw at her she felt she was a far cry away from losing. The song had only been going on for a minute or less but she felt it had lasted ages and was already feeling drained. Imagine her joy when she looked over to Dib again and saw he looked more tired than her.

“Give it up Dib.” She started, panting for breath slightly in between moves. “I’ve studied your human physiology, your body can’t produce nearly the same amount of energy as an Irken. You may have been fine at the start of the song, but there’s no way you can beat me now. Without a squeedlyspooch it’s just not possible.”

“Yeah Tak?” Dib started panting just as hard as Tak, “Well it seems like your knowledge of humans is totally off. I’ll have you know we humans get what’s called an ‘adrenaline rush’. Which is this big burst of energy that makes us like fifteen times stronger. It happens all the time, and old ladies can use it to pick cars off of babies.”

“Really?” Tak asked clearly disbelieving.

“Yeah. And you know what? I think mines about to kick in!”

Dib picked up his pace for as long as he could after he said this to help the illusion. He wasn’t sure if Tak bought his bluff, but he could have sworn he saw her try to match his speed and swore under her breath. He couldn’t have chosen a better time to do what he did. The song had ended right when he felt like he would have collapsed if he went on any longer. The two of them weren’t mouthing off at each other after it ended, they had been too tired to do so, and where instead hunched over the guard rail facing the console panting heavily. Tak’s score shot up first: “C-”.

“Hah! Beat that Dib!”

While Tak had said this as boastfully as possible Dib could tell she was extremely disappointed with her score, and hoped it wouldn’t bother her too much later. Dib’s score showed up next, he wasn’t sure what he was hoping for before it came up, but it was on the screen before he could decide: “C+”.

“I… I won?”

Was all Dib could say, as he felt there were eyes burning into the back of his head. If any were though it wasn’t Tak’s. He looked next to him and saw she was still staring at the screen and watched her expression change from shock to complete anger. Dib wasn’t sure if he was more scared of or worried for her.

“Hey Tak, don’t worry about it. It’s only a game.”

He said trying to mitigate the situation but worried he only made things worse. She was breathing heavily, a look of anger still on her. She grabbed the metal guard rail and Dib thought for a moment she was going to crush it with her hands. She must have realized she couldn’t (or decided not to crush it) and instead brought her hands to the rubber padding at the middle of the railing and slowly tore that off, which Dib knew was no easy feat. Her breathing seemed to quite after she did this and Dib hoped she calmed herself down, but right after that Tak turned around and walked away from the console. Dib called out to her but she was ignoring him completely, and not wanting to lose sight of her he went after her without even grabbing his trench coat. He didn’t get more than a few steps before he tripped over something.

“Really Mimi?”

He called out looking around him, but Tak’s Sir unit was just collecting tickets from the machine. It gave Dib a quizzical and angry look as she did so behind her disguise, seeming to state she didn’t trip him but was happy he did. He got up and grabbed his trench coat before going after Tak, glaring at Mimi the whole time. He looked around and called for Tak again but she was nowhere in sight. He assumed she went to the exit and was headed there when he saw Mimi go off deeper into the arcade. Knowing Mimi was a bit more loyal (or at least more obedient) than Gir would be in a situation like this and that she had a sixth sense for Tak’s general whereabouts he followed her in tow. They ended up in the section of the arcade that had the older cabinets that weren’t as popular, and as far as Dib could tell it was just him and Mimi there. He heard a sound like something banging hard against the side of the metal cabinets and he and Mimi both went towards the sound. They found Tak, her head buried in a corner between a wall and an old cabinet, and she wasn’t saying or doing anything. Mimi went up to her and padded at her legs with her paws while mewing, but Tak did not respond in anyway.

“Tak?” He called out cautiously to her.

“That was horrible.” Was all she said.

Dib rubbed the back of his head as he said, “Really Tak it wasn’t that bad.”

“Yes. It was.” Tak stated this flatly, and Dib could sense the frustration in her voice. “It’s bad enough that I lost to you by two whole grades, but the fact that you weren’t in peak condition and I was means I would have lost worse if we were even.”

“I wasn’t tired Tak, that was me giving my all. And you did play really well for the first time. I mean, I’m nowhere near good at that game, I’ve seen people play it before that’ll destroy anything I got, and you really didn’t do as bad as you think.” Dib was nervous and stumbled out his words as he tried to cheer up Tak.

“Don’t fucking patronize me! You know how stupid I looked out there! That thing made me feel like I’ve never used my feet before!” Tak slammed the side of the cabinet again, and turned around to glare at Dib.

“Okay, okay Tak! It’s just a game. You don’t need to get angry.” He brought his hands to his face as he said this and felt a familiar sense of self-preservation taking over him. Tak girted her teeth and clenched her fist harder as she turned around to stare into the corner again.

“I am not angry about the game.”

“You’re-You’re not?” Dib said dumb founded.

“No. I’m not, I’m furious, but it’s not about the game. It’s about how much I’m letting this thing get to me.”

“I don’t understand.”

Tak seemed to curl inward of herself and became smaller before she spoke, “Irkens don’t get mad. Or if they do they don’t let it get in their way. The fact of the matter is that I failed, and when that happens one of two things follow for an Irken: you’re disposed of. Either demoted or removed. Or, you learn from it, and never let it happen again. I shouldn’t be so angry that I can’t focus on what I did wrong and how I fix myself. I should be calm, focused, and determined.”

Tak lowered her voice as she finished and tried to remain collected, brushing a hand through her hair, but Dib saw frustration return to her face before she even finished.

“I shouldn’t be thinking about how much I hate that game, and how stupid it is, and how I never want to play it again, but I just feel angry and I CAN’T STOP FUCKING FEELING THIS WAY!”

Tak punched the side of the cabinet again which made an incredibly loud noise and Dib saw it leave a dent that would definitely be noticed by someone later. Tak didn’t do or say anything else after this, and Dib didn’t know how to try to comfort her, or if he really knew what she was going through. Mimi stopped padding her legs after her final outburst, and went away into the arcade again, Dib wasn’t sure what she was up to “Maybe she’s giving us some time alone?” He thought to himself, and so tried to make the most of it.

“Tak.” He started awkwardly not knowing what to say. “I get it, you’re angry.”

“You think?” She responded harshly through her teeth. Which Dib thought was better than her just being quite, but he wasn’t entirely sure.

“Yeah but I think you’re angry for the wrong reasons. I get, you know, losing at a game sucks. It’s normal that you’re angry about it, but don’t be angry about being angry.”

“I’m not angry about being angry.” She said this with a bit less malice in her voice. “I’m angry that I can’t focus.”

“Right which I think is dumb. What does it matter that you’re not set on getting better at a game you said you’ll never play again?”

“Because an Irken would never be like that,” Tak turned away from her corner to look at Dib as she said this, “an Irken would rise to the challenge no matter what!”

“Well you’re a far cry from Irk now. Maybe you should stop living like you’re under the Empire still. Maybe you should live the way you actually want to now and not the way they would want you to. Here on Earth you can do that.”

Dib thought what he said was pretty inspirational, but Tak didn’t seem too convinced and shook her head slightly before continuing.

“Dib, do you remember when I went to walk-off that disgusting Earth food? I said I was playing another game with someone else. The human I was playing against got so angry when I beat him. So angry that all he could focus on was how angry he was, when I could see, and I knew he could see, how he could have done better if he just looked at what happened objectively and not emotionally. That’s me right now, I’m so focused on my anger that I can’t get better.”

“Well…then I’d say you’re better than he was, at least you’re self-aware.”

“What does it matter that I’m self-aware if I’m still like this, that I’m still def-. That I’m still angry?” Tak turned away from him again into the corner, the faintest look of sadness in her eyes that was almost invisible.

Dib didn’t need to be his dad to figure out what was bothering Tak the most (actually he doubted his dad could figure it out, he never really was much of a people person). Dib knew the “D-Word” was a really sore topic for Tak, one she rarely ever brought up, and if she did she would never want to go any further into it than the length of the conversation brought it. So he tried to cheer her up one last time.

“Well then just be angry. The game’s stupid anyway.” This was all he said to her, and for a moment there was a period of silence in which neither of them spoke or did anything else. Eventually Tak was the one who broke the silence.

“I really hate that game.” She said this with deep loathing in her voice, and turned from her corner to Dib again.

“You’re not the only one, I’m sure.”

“Can we go destroy it?” Tak said with joyous anticipation in her voice, and turned fully away from the corner to face Dib.

“That’ll probably get us kicked out of here permanently, so no.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“I mean the four of us will probably want to come back here again when we all want to hang out. And I know you’ll want to keep trying you’re hand at beating Gaz again.”

“I’ve already beaten her before.” Take said annoyed crossing her arms.

“Beating her some more is what I meant. Gaz would love to play against you on one of the games here.”

“I’m not playing against her on the dancing game.” Tak said almost growling, and Dib tried to back pedal to save himself.

“I never said you would. I said Gaz hates it too, remember?”

Tak still had her arms crossed while they were talking, and she looked more annoyed than upset or angry, so Dib thought she was better but not completely. Even while she looked annoyed she couldn’t manage to look at him in the eyes. Right as they were done talking Mimi came back mewing at Tak’s legs again, but Tak completely ignored her. Dib noticed she was holding a receipt paper in her mouth.

“What do you have here Mimi?” Dib said and reached down for her, and was pleased and surprised that Mimi gave it to him. He looked over it before showing it to Tak.

“It looks like Mimi’s been collecting all of our tickets for the night. I honestly forgot this arcade even had them, and we got over 25,000 to spend.”

Tak tore the ticket out of Dib’s hand and looked over the receipt herself.

“I have no basis for this currency. Is this a lot?”

“Probably enough for us to get anything we want at the prize counter.”

Tak tossed away the receipt towards Dib. He caught it as she started walking away.

“Is that supposed to interest me?”

“We could probably find a toaster or something for you to fiddle with and make a bomb out of if that interests you.”

“Dib, you know the device you call a ‘toaster’ doesn’t have near enough parts to turn it into a practical improvised explosive.”

“Well, you could probably find something else and turn it into something to prank Zim with next time we see him.”

Tak grew a huge grin at the mention of that. “Maybe I can find something to scar or frighten him.”

“So we’ll go to the prize counter and get something?”

Dib went up next to her and grabbed her hand. Tak then leaned into his shoulder and sighed before saying,

“Do that, and then take me home.”

* * *

“Man… the ticket prices sure have gone up since I was a kid.” Dib said as he scanned the prize counter from top to bottom.

“Inflation is typically a natural course for an ungoverned economy, and this place hardly seems like the type to have any regulation.” Tak said condescendingly.

The two of them were standing next to one another, their hands still intertwined. Tak was leaning her head against Dib, but looked more exhausted than affectionate.

“Is there really a point to us being here still? I don’t see anything I like.” Tak said, once again not hiding her annoyance.

“I’m trying to find you a gift remember?"

“Gift? Last I checked Dib I earned us most of the tickets we have. Doesn’t that make you more of an Indian giver?”

“No, that’s when you give something away only to take it back later.”

“Whatever! My point is I don’t need anything from here.”

“Yeah, but you’ve been having a shitty night. I just wanted to get you something to make up for it.”

Tak sighed in resignation, “Just pick something quickly, and let’s get out of here.”

Dib was looking as hard as he could, but he wasn’t finding anything he thought Tak would enjoy. She liked to dabble in examining “primitive Earth technology” every once in a blue moon purely for fun, but all of them were in the upper millions. They did have a toaster funnily enough, but that was half a million, so also out of budget. The only items they could afford where the small to medium sized stuffed animals, and some other toys. Thankfully it was just the two of them at the prize counter and the employee running it was preoccupied on his phone, so he spoke to Tak freely about what she’d really use the potential gift for.

“What about that can of slug?” He said pointing to a cheap toy labeled Biohazardous Waste, “I’m sure it’ll burn Zim a little bit, or you could poison his lunch with it.”

Tak came to attention at his suggestion and was considering it for a moment but said, “Nah, I could probably synthesized something worse on my own.”

“Okay well how about that laser?” He said pointing to a plastic laser toy on the wall which boasted the ability to shoot real lasers.

“Really? I could make better firearms in my sleep. Even if I was just going to examine it for amusement I doubt I’d get any enjoyment from it.”

“Okay well how about that?” Dib said, this time pointing to a box for a cat leash with a picture of little girl towing a cat along. “It would help you keep an eye on Mimi.”

Mimi hissed and scratched at Dib’s leg at the suggestion, which prompt a small laugh from Tak, afterwards she said playfully,

“Oh, I don’t know Mimi, Dib’s got a point. You’ve been awfully rambunctious lately.”

Which earned a low growl from Mimi in response.

“So I’ll get that for you?” Dib said hopefully.

“If you want to sure, but honestly I’ll never use it.”

This was becoming a difficult decision for Dib. He didn’t want to get a gift for Tak, just for the sake of it. If he was going to get her something it would have to be something she’d actually want or at least used everyone once in a while. He’d might as well just get her a stuffed toy at that rate. When that idea flashed into his head, he thought that could work, so long as he got her something novel enough that she’d want to keep. He looked briefly at the lineup of stuffed toys on the shelf when he saw one he thought she’d enjoy.

“How about a stuffed toy?”

“Really Dib? I know it’s human tradition for the male to purchase a stuffed creature for his mate and it matches your theme of a ‘normal’ date, but that would be the absolute last thing I’d want from here.”

“Really cause I was thinking of getting you that one.” Dib said pointing to a stuffed toy in the shape of a flying saucer, complete with the traditional green alien sewed onto the glass dome. “Is does kind of match you.” He said teasingly.

“Honestly Dib that’s…” Tak sounded like she was going to berate him at first but after she saw the toy she grew a curious expression on her face. “…actually, I never noticed it before. But that ship design does look frighteningly similar to the style Žertians typically use, and the pilot doesn’t look too different from one of them.”

“Really?” Dib said with fascination before he took out a note book from his pocket and started writing down.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting the name down, so next time I see one of those on the radar I can call them by it.”

“I would be cautious before you do that, the Žertians are a pretty unpredictable species in how they act. They’ve taken to interstellar nomadism since the Empire conquered their home planet, and they’ve been known to abduct other species for all kinds of purposes.”

“Really? Well that would explain a few things if it’s not just a coincidence.”

“Hey are you two going to buy something or what?” The clerk said annoyed from behind the counter, still engrossed in his phone.

“We’re busy deciding.” Tak replied angrily.

“Well could you hurry it up?”

“We’re not preventing you from playing on your primitive little phone by being here.”

“Uh… are you sure about that?” The clerk raised his phone up to them so they could see it as he spoke but neither of them could see what he was doing on it.

Tak let out an annoyed grunt, but before she could say or do anything else Dib yelled to the clerk, “We won’t be much longer.” And then turned to Tak to say, “Do you want the spaceship?”

“No, but for the sake of getting us out of here I’ll choose one of the stuffed monsters.”

“You really want one?”

“Not really, but if I’m going to get anything here it better be something I could see myself actually wanting, even if it’s just to throw out later.”

Tak stepped away from Dib and went up to the clerk and said,

“Service drone-”

“I have a name you know?” The clerk replied.

“It’s not important.”

“It’s Karl.”

“Carl…” Tak said, bringing her hand to her eyes to squint in exasperation.

“Karl with a K.”

“The spelling of your name has no determinable affect to how I pronounce it. But, Carl with a K, I’m in need of an ugly stuffed toy to complete my date with my boyfriend. So show me the best stuffed monsters you have.”

“Uh, can’t you see them for yourself?”

“I don’t know what their significance is, so I need you to dictate them to me so I can select the superior one.”

“You’ve never been to zoo, or looked at these animals in a book before?”

“I probably have, but I couldn’t have been bothered to remember them.” Tak said crossing her arms with an air of indifference.

Dib walked up to the counter and said with only a small sense of concern in his voice, “That won’t be needed Tak, I can just tell you about them myself. What about that one there?” He pointed to a small stuffed black cat on the wall, which earned him another hiss from Mimi.

“Exactly, I have already have Mimi for that. Honestly Dib that one’s a worse suggestion than the spaceship.”

“Well how about that one? It’s a lion, they’re hunters on the top of the food chain where they live.”

“Better, but too similar to Mimi.”

“The gray one next to it with tusks and a long nose? They’re called elephants and they’ve been known for their intelligence.”

“How intelligent? Do you have a written language or use weapons?”

“I’ve heard they use sticks and shit as tools, and might have some sort of language they use.” Karl said without looking up from his phone.

“I thought you said you were too busy to educate me on the stuffing’s?”

“I can still commentate.”

“Forget him.” Dib said, “How about that one, a honey badger right?”

“Honey badgers are the best. They just don’t give a fuck.” Karl said.

“Their nihilism doesn’t impress me. Next.”

The three of them went on like this until they exhausted all the stuffed animals they could afford, and Dib was ready to give up when Tak pointed out a small one they missed.

“How about that one?” She said pointing to a small rodent like animal, it was so small but it costed 27,500 tickets.

“The uh…muskrat?” Dib said, bemused both at her interest in it and at its price.

“Hey man that one’s a mongoose, they’re like super tough and fight rattle snakes and shit.”

“They fight cobras.” Dib said, who had become more irritated with Karl than Tak had.

“And these cobras?” Tak started intrigued. “They’re some genus of snakes, correct?”

“Yeah, they’re big, venomous, and prey on humans and other animals all the time. But they’re mongooses prey and they kill them easily.”

Tak pondered on what Dib told her for a moment, after which she said, “That one will do.”

“We’ll take the it then.” Dib said not missing a beat.

After he said that Karl finally got off his phone and grumbled something about ‘choosing one he had to get a ladder for’ and went into the back room presumably for said ladder.

“So why the mongoose?” Dib asked her once he was out of sight.

“I actually find it very similar to an Invader: small and unassuming, but a powerhouse within!” Tak said bringing her hand up into a fist for emphasis, “Plus I do like its aesthetic if I’m being honest.”

Karl came back out, pulled the stuffed toy off the shelf, and ask them for the tickets for it. Dib provided the receipt to him and Karl was handing it to him when Tak came over and snatched it out of his hands.

“Uh? That still leaves you with 500, if you guys want anything else.” Karl said perplexed by Tak’s actions.

“I think we’re good but thanks.” Dib started but was interrupted before he finished by Mimi pawing at his legs. She then pointed to a small shelf on the counter with Gummy Bears candy.

“Gummy Bears?” Dib said in disbelief turning to Tak. He saw her intently fondling her new toy, and was distracted by his sudden question.

“Huh? Oh right. Mimi’s taken a liking to them. Get them for her if you don’t mind.” She said barely taking her attention from the toy.

Dib purchased them and presented the opened bag to her but Mimi let out a disgusted meow after he did.

“Oh right. She doesn’t care for the green ones.”

“Why doesn’t she like the green ones?”

“I don’t know why she likes anything. Just take out the green ones so I don’t have to hear her on the way back.”

Dib complied with the request sorting out the green ones in his hands, and was surprised to see Mimi eat directly out of his once the green ones were gone. He felt Mimi’s course tongue brush and tickle against his hands, and was surprised by how much detail Tak put into their disguises. Mimi purred with satisfaction upon finishing and even let Dib pet her. After they were done she went over to Tak, brushed against her legs, and purred again.

“Great. Are we done here?” Said Tak without looking up from her toy.

Dib said that they were, and after throwing the wrapper along with the green Gummy Bears into the garbage (and missing) the three of them left the arcade and began their walk back home. Their walk back was very uneventful, it mostly consisted of them talking about anything besides what happened that night. They talked about recent happenings at High Skool, Zim’s most recent hijinks which Dib had to bail him out of, that fact that Miss Bitters had died recently (which Dib still couldn’t get over), and that Gaz had entered into a video game tournament. They were almost to Tak’s home, but while they were talking Dib couldn’t help but feel like he was the one carrying the conversation. Tak had only supplied the odd comment here and there and was still very much fascinated by her stuffed toy she got. Dib was actually happy she was enjoying it so much, but he also thought is was uncharacteristic of her and was worried. So trying to ail his worry he said to her:

“You’re really into that mongoose I got you.”

“Huh? Yeah it’s strange actually.” She started saying, “Normally I’m very indifferent to any Earth toy, but this one specifically has captured my fascination. It’s like, I don’t know, like I have this gravitation towards this thing and I can’t help but fondle it.” Tak said while playing with it as she had done the entire walk home.

Dib guessed she was experiencing a new feeling and was relieved when he figured it out. “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘adorable’. As in you find the toy adorable.”

“What?” Tak said looking away from the toy, somewhat concerned.

“That feeling you’re describing for the toy. You can’t pull yourself away from it and all you want to do is ruffle it a bunch. That’s you finding it adorable.”

“Adorable…” She said the word to herself while looking at the toy and then her eyes beamed. “Yes! Yes that’s it that’s exactly it. I find this toy adorable. Oh my tallest it’s so adorable!” and then she giggled as she brought the toy to her face, playing with it the whole time.

If Dib wasn’t surprised already, he was now. He couldn’t remembered ever seeing her so giddy over anything the whole time he’d known her, but he wasn’t the only one to notice. Mimi went up to her and started mewing and rubbing up against her try to get her attention, but all Tak did was shoo her away. Disgruntled Mimi then went to Dib and started doing the exact same thing to him. He was very confused and asked what Mimi was up to, but before he could finish Mimi jumped right at him and into his arms. Dib brought his arms up instinctively and wound up carrying her, after which she began purring and caressing him profusely. He was thoroughly confused again, but pleasantly surprised as she rarely let anyone but Tak carry or pet her.

“Why are you so friendly all of a sudden, was it the Gummy Bears?” He said playfully to her, but all she did was purr louder to him in response. “Oh I get it. Somebody’s jealous, you poor kitty.” He said this and then brought Mimi down from his face and cradled her in his arms to pet her. While he was doing so Mimi was looking at Tak the whole time, who by now was glaring at Mimi with daggers. She stopped playing with her toy then and walked up to the two of them, Mimi was overjoyed at her coming over, but it was not for the reason she thought it was.

“Mimi here, hold this for me.” Tak said as she pushed the stuffed mongoose into her, and grabbing Dib by the collar of his coat pulled him in for a kiss. Tak always felt bold whenever she kissed him. She wasn’t sure if it was because he was a human, or if was because she was an Irken and Irkens weren’t supposed to kiss. At any rate she wasn’t focused on why she felt that way, and was preoccupied with exploring her dumb human’s mouth. While normally the planet’s filth irritated her she was thankful Dib’s bodily fluids never did, he body must naturally filter it out, she could still feel something when they exchanged saliva, but only a slight tingle. His teeth always interested her whenever she got the chance to examine them. They weren’t like hers, which where hard cartilage, but instead bone with slicers in the front and round mashers in the back. His tongue interested her the most, while hers was long, firm, and cord like, his was flat, soft, and so very warm. She felt like she could wrap her whole tongue around his. She imagined her tongue as a cobra and his tongue as a mongoose, and that thought sent shivers over her body. After a moment they separated from each other and caught their breathe, immediately after which Tak said,

“Who’s jealous?” To which Dib replied,

“I don’t know I can’t remember.”

Mimi replied with a low growl to both of them, and then Tak gave into her.

“Fine.” She drawled out, “Come here, and hold my mongoose for me Dib.”

Tak took Mimi in her arms while Dib held onto her toy. She cradle Mimi while petting and rubbing at her, and Mimi responded with satisfied purrs.

“Oh Mimi. And you say I’m going native. Just as well though, I don’t think the two of us will be leaving this planet anytime soon.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Dib responded slightly miffed.

“It won’t be, with the right company anyway.”

The three of them had reached the gates of Tak’s home as they talked.

“Guess this is goodbye for the night, I hope you had a good time.” Dib said.

“I didn’t really, but it was bearable.”

“Well I hope I’m bearable to you.”

“You are, most of the time.” She teased him as she went for another kiss.

She turned away from him after they finished, and she went into her estate as the gates opened for her. Dib stood by and watched her as she made her way into her home. When she was out of sight he began his walk home. He was going over the night as he did, he thought it went well for the most part, and wasn’t completely ready to rule out the arcade for another one of their date nights. A few days later though, it would be him, Tak, Zim, and Gaz at his house playing video games. So he hoped Tak wasn’t completely tuckered out of them, but that was for another day.

* * *

This fan-fiction was largely inspired by this artwork. Made by ZimGalForevah on Deviantart.

#invader zim #dib #tak #datr #tadr #DaTr Date Night

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