#Silly Goats Soap

[sgt-tombstone]

Thinking about Price with a kid

Specifically, Price with a daughter from a previous marriage, just a few years old, that he recently got full custody of, which means that every day is Take Your Kid To Work Day. There are child services on base, a daycare where the kids of service members can play and learn and socialize, but Price’s daughter hates it. She wants to be with her dad, and Price is nothing if not a pushover for his kid(s)

She spends most of her time in the office because, contrary to popular belief, Price spends most of his time in the office. The other officers adore her, especially the other lieutenants, who she follows around whenever they get up to go to the printer or get a drink/snack from the vending machine. She learned to walk late, but she toddles around like she’s making up for lost time, quick and silent and always on the move. She calls the lieutenants “Tenny” and they all start keeping markers and coloring books in their desks for when she inevitably wanders over and turns her big, pleading brown eyes on them

It’s Gaz who coins her nickname: “Half Price”, which inevitably leads to the team starting to call Price “Full Price”, much to his annoyance, but he can’t stay mad when it’s technically true, and especially not when he sees Gaz smile down at little Half Price like she’s his own kid

She doesn’t struggle with Gaz or Soap’s names, which they adore, but she resolutely calls Ghost “Goat”, despite being able to pronounce “-st” in other words. Her favorite word, in fact, is “ghost”, but she refuses to call Ghost that and no one knows why

Ghost doesn’t mind, though; he’s very obviously Half Price’s favorite. She calls all of the 141 her uncles, but Ghost is always the first one that she greets, often shrieking “Goat!” as she careens down the hallway towards him. She’s never been scared of his mask and even grabs at it with fat, curious fingers whenever he picks her up. He’s found her more than once curled up in the beanbag chair Price has in his office, the hard planes of Ghost’s skull mask clutched in her fist as she sleeps

Whenever they go into the field, Half Price stays on base, babysat by a very small list of very trusted officers, and (Full) Price knows that she’s okay, that she’s with capable, trusted people who are more than able to protect her, but he never feels more at ease than when Half Price is surrounded by the 141, knowing that they’d lay down life and limb and most of their morals to keep her safe

When she starts picking up a Scottish accent, Price bans Soap from talking to her for a month, which is the harshest punishment he could dole out (Soap would take three months of latrine duty over not being able to giggle with Half Price over a silly drawing she did), but it doesn’t even last a day, largely because Half Price sobs when Soap says that he can’t draw with her anymore and to go ask her dad why. It’s the most impressive bit of guilt tripping that Price has seen in a while, and he hates that it works so well

When she starts repeating Soap and Ghost’s terrible jokes and flirtatious one-liners, Price really does draw a line, because the last thing he needs is for Half Price to start telling dead dog jokes to other five year olds

[oursecretways]

“Look at all those chickens’’

OT8 × Reader notes: ngl this all started with me seeing a chicken art on my feed and I realized I want a couple dozen now lol, so enjoy my first imagine/drabbles. Also, sorry it got so late by the time I have finished this, I will revisit to edit this and that is why it got shorter and shorter at the end 😭 (Forbidden feelings coming soon♡︎) word count: 598 warning(s): none just pure fluff

Chan:

He would just look at you dumbfounded: what are you two going to do with these chickens? He knows you didn't think it through, he isn't mad at you, secretly loves all of them and wants to buy at least the same amount so you can have little chicken pairs.

Already thinking about buying a farm far away from everyone where you can have goats and baby cows, maybe some horse and of course dogs and cats. Heck, he would even buy you a whole zoo just to make sure his little princess has all the animals she can possibly think of.

Minho:

He would tease you with feeding them to his kids, enjoying how your face scrunches up from the thought. Deep inside, he is intrigued by them, and slowly warming up to the idea of having a bunch of baby chicks.

He also says up until the AM to look for chicken coops and things he can build for them so they can play and have a comfortable place to stay. He is trying to be secretive about it to surprise you and to not blow up his cover.

Changbin:

He would literally hold back tears and show you all the pictures he has saved on his phone about baby farm animals. He is a softie and you always knew it.

He names all of them silly names and feeling quite happy about them until one poops on his floor… he might be in for a wild ride with figuring out how to potty-train chickens.

Hyunjin:

He already wants to make sketches of you and your kids, thinking about poses he could have you hold them so he can make sure he gives justice to your beauty. Feels overjoyed by this new milestone you two accomplished: having a dozen of little feathery kids.

Han:

For a solid minute, he laughs, not thinking you are being for real. Then, when he realized he was happy, he named all of them names like pip, peep, squeak, lil pip jr. and the list could go on and on.

After a week or so of having them, he started “teaching” them how to fly, making you watch it in horror. But let's face it, he is so clumsy he has dropped one or two of them accidentally when you weren't home.

Felix:

As soon as you opened the box, his eyes light up, living that Stardew fantasy with you. He makes lots of pictures of them, you with the chicks, and his own SKZOO. He sends the latter picture to the group chat with the boys, announcing that BbokAri somehow ended up being a father and that the mother left them. You just laughed at the soap opera he suddenly started to write about his own merch plushie, but you didn't stop him.

Seungmin:

You showed him while the others were there as well, bragging about your new-found family with Minnie. Everyone was over the moon about how adorable they were, except your boyfriend, who simply told Felix that he thinks they are his kids, delivering it with the stone-cold expression he mastered probably at birth.

I.N.:

He gets super excited, although finds it a bit silly. Said a joke along the lines of must've cheated with Felix's SKZOO, which earned a chuckle from you.

As he starts to play with them, one immediately pinches him with its beak making you forget about your kids and making sure that your boyfriend is okay, babying him just a little more.

[rosemaryblossoms]

Monster Call of Duty Men with a dread ducky demon reader

Author’s Note: characters may be out of character, Dread Ducky is one of my favorite characters in dark deception and I’m also getting into call of duty so I made this, cod monster types are based off of the designs of @bluegiragi , I hope you enjoy it. I also might make a gold watcher and doom ducky one, hell I might make a murder monkey one. I apologize if I get some stuff wrong about call of duty. Let me know if you want more.

You were a Dread Ducky, a demon who was made of flesh and robotics, wearing your traffic cone hat and doing the dance of your people with pride, not afraid to bust some ass either if they say otherwise. Just like your mama who was a Doom Ducky demon, you wanted to join the military and wallop those asses in battle and have justice served. When you first got there, you already felt eyes on you by others soldiers. Some were curious stares and some were “what the hell is that” stares but you pushed them away because there was no way you were going to let them ruin your day. Price had read your files and he was both impressed in your skills and is interested in you, he was the first one to welcome you to the team when you got there. Price always gives a listening ear even if you can’t really speak and you mostly communicate through quacks and movement. Your silly duck dance manages to make him crack a smile. In battle, the dragon hybrid man is impressed by your strength and moves, especially when you open your mouth real wide only to reveal another head coming out with a swift movement to bite and drag your opponent back to your mouth like a cuckoo clock. In the background of the battle field fighting and watching you kick ass like “that’s my boy/girl/Ducky”.

Ghost was suspicious of you when he first met you, he observes you from a far, when he finally opens up to you more he will tell the most cheesy dad jokes. “Hey what do you call a bear that has no teeth?”. . . . . “A gummy bear” (sorry I had too, my bad 😂💀) “what did the duck say to the bar tender?”. . . . . “Put it on my bill.” (Ok fine I’ll stop)

He enjoys just sitting down with you, there’s a smile behind his mask when you do your ducky dance, he doesn’t know why but he manages to crack a smile and let out a snort when you do it. He also can’t help but to crack a smile behind his mask when you make quacks to say “hey ghost how are you doing?” And “what up Lt.” as for Soap, he loves you, Johnny loves you, from your traffic cone hat to your ducky dance and to your cute little waddles when you walk or run. He was always curious about your monster type and he finds you both cool and adorable. He hypes you up when you ducky dance, he will also make an attempt to try to do your ducky dance as well with a funky beat in the background. It always blows a circuit in his mind when you sit down because it looks like your legs completely disappeared without a trace. He also asks if he can ride you (Ayo? Not like that, he means like a piggy or more like ducky back ride) Gaz like soap, loves you, he also hypes up your sweet dance moves. he might attempt on trying to do your ducky dance. He runs around with you on free time. He in enjoys roof top talks with you and goofing off with you.

You and Alejandro get along, you two are dance buddies, you two joke around and laugh a lot. You love helping Rudy, Soap, and Gaz play pranks then act a fool when you are questioned by it.

In the end they love you, you are their chaotic ball of sunshine.

[lockandkeyhyena]

sorry if we’re not allowed to ask more than one question or something, but can i ask about my silly lad double diamond… i know he was kinda somewhat a second in command/spy/super loyal to starlight before he realized in canon that she was a fraud, so what’s his deal in this au? does he become friends with fluttershy while they’re in the town? does he become jealous/think that she’s taking “his spot”?

sorry for being the only double diamond fan ever. also some other song suggestions while i’m here: the milk carton by madilyn mei (as a starlight song, “have they really domesticated me?” referring to how fluttershy is making her realize “oh no. i hurt people. aw shit. i’m the one in the wrong.”) me and the devil by soap&skin, easier by the crane wives, the girl next door by evidentlyfresh, be nice to me by the front bottoms, no children by the mountain goats (maybe? think about it like starlight’s pov), me and mr wolf by the real tuesday weld, andy you’re a star by the killers (hey reference!), and romantic homicide by d4vd. quite the list my bad

never apologise for asking lots of questions!! i love answering them

so for double diamond, he was starlight’s most loyal follower and kind of her ‘enforcer’. he would intimidate other ponies when starlight thought they might be getting out of hoof. none of this was official, ie starlight never actively asked him to do it and he kind of did it of his own free will but at the same time starlight never discouraged him from doing it and would actively praise him when something went her way. if he went too far she could hide behind the whole ‘i never asked you to do it’ defence. at least that’s what i’ve got in my head for the moment for them!

his relationship with fluttershy was generally good. she had amiable relationships with lots of the townsponies, even if it made some of them nervous how close she was to starlight. she didn’t end up turning in party favour, sugar belle and night glider but did discourage them from talking about their cutie marks.

tysm for the music recs as well! i’ll go listen to them asap

[lucky-guess]

Travis hcs?

•Flirtatious with everyone, and I mean EVERYONE. If you are in his age range, you will likely be hit on. It's usually him just being silly and trying to be social.

•He has no social skills. None. Being isolated on a mountain has not helped this boy.

•Very odd compliments. He's trying so hard.

•Much like this version of Aph, he doesn't know how to respond when people are upset. He also struggles to read the room, and makes jokes that can be out of place.

•Will hand someone a literal rock because he likes them.

•Gives gifts like a small child. Random flowers, rocks bugs, messy drawings, all of it.

•He has claws in his demon form. And his legs become almost goat like in structure. Due to this, transforming is rather painful.

•His teeth are also sharper in demon form.

•Transforms when he feels threatened subconsciously. He's trying really hard to control it but it isn't going well.

•His body responds negatively to the healing magic Aph does in demon form. It's perfectly fine in human form, but when he's a demon it feels like pouring boiling hot soap water on a gaping wound.

[chucklepea-hotpot]

Hey! Came upon your blog cause you liked my Andrew VdK posts (thank u btw!!)! You seem to be a german speaker and i'm trying to practice my german. would you have any good german language tv show reccs that i could watch (with subtitles)? Also not to sound needy cause beggars can't be choosers or whatever but i tend to watch more lighthearted/teen drama type stuff than really heavy serious adult dramas but this is not a hard rule!! please ignore this if it's annoying! have a super nice day!!

Thank you for posting the Andrew content, I'm so happy to see him, my poor littlw meow meow <3

If you like lighthearted German (teen) dramas, then, oh boy!, I have just the thing for you:

"Türkisch für Anfänger" (teen soap about a German-Turkish patchwork family, it's silly and hilarious and soooo dramatic)

"Schloss Einstein" (still running today show about kids at a German boarding school, literally has the best intro in the world)

"Die Pfefferkörner" (has also been running for generations, it's about a gang of children detectives investigating im Hamburg, also has the best intro in the whole world)

"Doctor's Diary" (Grey's Anatomy but far worse. It's a trainwreck, if you liked desperate housewives you’re gonna love this one)

"Berlin Berlin" (never watched that one personally, but it's about a young woman living in Berlin in her 20s trying to figure out her life)

"Die Wilden Hühner" movies (my personal faves growing up though i prefrr the books; about a group of teen girls who have an old trailer as a group headquarter and chicken in the garden, literally what more do you want 😌)

"Französisch für Anfänger" (i remember so little from this movie but that it's about a boy who cant speak a whim French going on a France exchange to get with a girl. very stupid, very funny, hell of a music track)

"Die Vampirschwestern" movies (literally what it says on the tin, half-vampire sisters trying to figure out teen life, find friends and occasionally fight evil forces. normal stuff, you know)

"Hanni & Nanni" movies (a set of twin girls who get send to boarding school and being very pissed about it until... well, they're not anymore :) there is also an anime, as far as I know it's on youtube, it's so sweet!)

"Heidi" (show out of all shows, isao takahata and hayao miyasaki we're both part in creating it, fuck yeah. story about an orphaned girl who is brought to the alps to live with her grandfather and i dont know how to describe it any further? it's a beautiful heartwearming story with gorgeously animated landscapes. also baby goats.)

I hope some of these work for you and feel free to ask for other shows. I actually don't know if all of them are accessible outside of Germany, but I'm just hoping for the best 🥲

[tilbageidanmark]

MOVIES I WATCHED THIS WEEK #207:

In a week full of many wonderful movies, India Donaldson's minimalist debut feature GOOD ONE was my most precious experience. I've seen all her previous shorts before, and I sensed this will be a 'good one'. And indeed it was. I hope she'll continue to tell super-realistic character studies like this for the rest of her career.

A middle-aged father, his perceptive 17-yo daughter, and another mess of a divorced buddy of his are going on a camping trip in the Catskills. That's the whole simple plot, but it's told with the maturity and eye-for-details of somebody who had intimately known all three. Not much is said, everything is subtle, quiet, and understated. The girl, Sam, got it all together, and the actress who plays her with such raw intelligence is a revelation. One of my best films of the year. 10/10. [*Female Director*]

🍿

2 INDIAN CLASSICS:

🍿 "Forgive me, my son"...

In HOTEL SALVATION (2016), a 77 year old man dreams that his time on earth came to an end, and he's about to die. He decides to go to the holy city of Varnasi, and his son is forced to set aside his office job, in order to accompany him on his last trip. It's a serene, spiritual story, with none of the big events shown on screen - they are all subtle, because they are peacefully inevitable. The director was 25 when he made his debut with this. 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes.

🍿 DEVDAS (2002) is pure hokum. A classic big-budget Bollywood song-and-dance excess, larger than life soap opera, with 3 mega-stars at their peak: SRK, Aishwarya Rai and Madhuri Dixit. A silly romance defeated by society prejudices, but played in the foreground of elaborate and opulent sets. The music numbers (for example Dola Re Dola, Maar Dala, Silsila Ye Chahat Ka, Sheeshe Sa Sheesha Takraye) were spectacular, the budget for glycerine tears must have been huge, but the super-melodramatic plot was ridiculous.

🍿

For a while now I had planned to re-visit the work of 94-year-old documentarian Frederick Wiseman, but his usual grim subjects deterred me. His latest 4-hour (!) saga MENUS PLAISIRS - LES TROISGROS is a good refresher why this is my type of story telling: Captured footage that observes and don't propagate, and most importantly, no voice-over, no narration, no interviews, and NO FUCKING MUSIC in the background to drown everything you see.

The fact that it's a happy topic, light as a bird song, is a huge help. Like Ken Burns' recent documentary about Leonardo, this is Wiseman’s first outside of the USA. Both of them must have felt they ought to look elsewhere to Europe for shreds of sanity and coherence today.

It's an inside look into the French Troisgros restaurant "empire" in the Loire valley and "how it works". From their spacious kitchens, tomato and cheese suppliers, smokehouse, philosophy, beekeepers, vine cellars, taste making, goats, desserts and the three Michelin stars that they’ve earned for over 50 years. it's an absolute delight from start to finish - the anti-Netflix food-porn destination.

(When I was a chef, I collected about 400 cookbooks, and my two most valuable tomes were (Salvador Dalí: Les Diners De Gala, and) the big book by The Troisgrois Brothers...)

Another one with 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes.

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3 BY CZECH ANIMATOR MICHAELA PAVLÁTOVÁ:

🍿 Her ŘEČI, ŘEČI, ŘEČI ("Words, words, words") was nominated for an Oscar in 1991. A terrific wordless film about communication, very much in 'Yellow Submarine' style. In a busy cafe, speech bubbles float from people's mouths into others ears in a humorous musical patterns. 9/10.

🍿 Apparently, much of her work focuses on sex. REPETE (1995) open with the act, and then musically returns to it in many different repetitive forms. Uniquely erotic.

🍿 TRAM (2012) is perfect. A full bodied conductress drive her all-male passengers, and with every rhythmic vibration of the trolley, her fantasies gets hornier and she lets herself go. 10/10. (Full Film Above). [*Female Director*]

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Another gen from ol' Czechoslovakia, THE DEATH OF STALINISM IN BOHEMIA, my 4th by mad surrealist Jan Švankmajer. A piece of modernistic agitprop about his country's history from 1948 to 1989. His most political satire, and as usual, full of bloody cut organs made out of exploding clay played to nonstop disgusting slurping, guttural sounds.

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5 BY CROATIAN DAINA ONIUNAS-PUSIĆ:

🍿 In anticipation of her new, heralded A24 debut feature, 'Tuesday', I watched all her earlier shorts:

THE BEAST (2016), is a very odd look at familial abuse. A 75yo woman is angrily taking care of her invalid 100yo mother. Their relationship is uniquely cruel and unpredictable. That is before a mystical bat flies in and settles under the old woman's bed. Super weird!

🍿 WE FIGHT, BUT YOU'RE FABULOUS (2020) was made entirely of stock footage. A terrific pandemic story told only in voice over: A mother and her gay son keep bitching and complaining to each other.

🍿 RHONNA AND DONNA (2015) had an outrageous premise: One teenage sister plays Juliet in their Shakespeare school play, and her conjoined-twin doesn't want to... The mother, in this one, was just drinking wine while doing her yoga.

🍿 PRESS YOUR LIPS TOGETHER, (2011), her early film school work was also about a mother. This mother got bad news about her 13yo daughter. Slight and juvenile.

🍿 So finally, TUESDAY, another tortured saga of unusual mother and daughter relationship. First of all, it's chilly and ambitious, probably like the nightmare baby of Lynch's 'Eraserhead' [which I haven't seen yet] and 'Everything everywhere all at once'. For a young filmmaker making her debut, it's a bold 'Must see'. Mother Julia Louis-Dreyfus can't cope with the upcoming demise of Tuesday, her terminally-ill teenage daughter. A metaphorical Angel of Death, in the shape of mystical black macaw, visits her to help with her pain before he takes her away - and that in the middle of a zombie outbreak. Like 'Alice in Wonderland', their sizes changes, so they all grow and shrink all the time. Etc.

But it was too horror-like for me, and I couldn't connect. 3/10. [*Female Director*]

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"Judicial errors don't exist."

'Somebody is killing the supreme court judges of Palermo, Sicily' in the 1976 ILLUSTRIOUS CORPSES. Tough guy police inspector Lino Ventura is sent from Rome to solve a series of high-profile assassinations, and uncovers collusions, political conspiracies, and corruption at the highest order of society. For me, it mostly evoked one of my favorite kinks, the leisurely sights and sounds of mid-70's Italy, as depicted on film: Dark piazzas, the half-empty alleyways, the paranoia of the communist movement...

(On a recommendation by my friend HootsMaguire.)

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A WOMAN INTERVIEWED IN ONE CONTINUED SHOT X 2:

🍿 I never heard of the 1993 French masterpiece EMILIE MULLER, but as soon as I finished watching it, I had to watch it again, and then a third time! A young woman arrives for her first ever audition where she's asked to show the contents of her handbag. 10/10. It reminded me very much of another of my French favorites On S'Embrasse?

🍿 In BETTY TELLS A STORY (1972) a woman remembers how she once bought an expensive dress that she couldn't effort and never got to wear, and then tells the same story again, but this time focusing on her feelings about the events she described. 8/10. A seminal feminist work. It was later selected for the National Film Registry. [*Female Director*]

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2 ABOUT PAINFUL MUSLIM TRAUMAS:

🍿 BROTHERHOOD is a very powerful Tunisian short that was nominated for the 2020 Oscars. A simple goatherd family in some remote area experiences painful upheavals when the older son return from Syria with a Burka-clad young wife. 9/10.

The young director, Meryam Joobeur, expanded this story into her latest 'Who do I belong to'. [*Female Director*]

🍿 LISTEN (2014) is a terrifying story of spousal abuse. In a small interrogation room at a Copenhagen police station, a burka-covered woman is begging for help . Her husband had beaten her severely and is now threatens to kill her. Her desperate appeal is repeated again and again but is completely misunderstood, since she only speaks Arabic. 9/10, if you can manage to watch it.

It was made in Danish and Arabic by two directors; One Zambian-Welsh, and the other Finnish-Iranian...

🍿

For the biggest Beatles fan that I was 60 years ago, and the Beatles completist that I've became since, the new Disney documentary BEATLES ‘64 doesn't offer much new. A few unseen clips on-stage and off, David Lynch goes off about the power of music, an editing decision to connect JFK idealism and death to the joy that The Beatles "brought back" on their first US tour. One thing that is painfully obvious from all that old footage: The media blitz that fueled their rise at that time was "SO" shallow, the interviews so inane, the TV and radios just unintelligent.

I hope that they improved since. /s

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DIRECTED BY DANNY DEVITO X2:

🍿 Danny DeVito produced a bunch of movies (Erin Brockovich, Get Shorty, Gattaca), but he also directed 15 movies (including Hoffa, The war of the roses, Matilda, Throw momma from the train). The last one he finished, CURMUDGEONS, became the first ever Vimeo Stuff Pick in 2016. A wonderful surprise about a grumpy 80yo man in an assisted living facility. I had to see it twice in a row! Highly recommended! 8/10.

🍿 NEST OF VIPERS (2011) is another comedic gem with a twist, about old rich Tracey Walters on his death bed.

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HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS (the original 1966 television special). My first watch, and because this photo of Boris Karloff made me curious. Directed by Chuck Jones, and very close to Dr. Seuss original book. A radiant, unironically-gorgeous canvas. Another with 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes.

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MY FIRST 2 WITH FRENCH CLAUDE MILLER:

🍿 JULIET IN PARIS (1967) - A young student engages with a series of inexplicable and bizarre acts, including a mutilation of a kitten and drinking its blood. Godard-lite. 2/10.

🍿 In connection with the 100th anniversary of the Lumiere Brothers' first motion picture, 40 directors were each given the opportunity to shoot a 52 second film using the original hand-cranked Cinématographe camera. LUMIÈRE ET COMPAGNIE (1995) was the resulting gimmicky anthology, a curios, self-referential homage. The best usages of the limited format were 1. The recreation of the original 'Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat Station'. 2. A couple with Down Syndrome kiss. 3. Zhang Yimou's scene at the Great Wall of China. 4. A couple embrace to music, by Claude Lelouch. 5. An egg being fried by Abbas Kiarostami. 6. Spike Lee trying to get his baby daughter to say 'Daddy'. YMMV.

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THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME (1932) is HUNTING HUMANS! Sadistic count 'Zaroff' explains his perverted lust for killing humans as a prelude to having sex with their women. Very unusual and very much pre-code! With the same set-up and crew of the people who made King Kong a year later. 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes. But only 2/10 from me.

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AGAIN?!?!? - "Again!!"- IAIN RANNOCH X 2:

🍿 "Does that cover cakes?"...

Everything I repeated 8-10 times already about my favorite 'Black Mirror' episode, HATED IN THE NATION, (last time in January), still stands. It's one of the best dystopian police procedural I know about people being held responsible for their actions. And the only sequel I ever want is the one where DSI Karin Parke and her sidekick Blue Coulson team up again to solve futuristic high-tech mysteries. And that ominous soundtrack note, man! 10/10.

(I re-watched it mostly for the details of the "Hashtag Seeding" twist, which I want to use myself in my next move...)

🍿 'Black Mirror' was built as a loosely-connected universe, where details from one episode are often referred to in another. F.ex. Blue Coulson is the one who cracked Iain Rannoch's 'Souvenir file', which was the reason for her resigning from forensic. And Iain Rannoch was the child murderer in S2E2 WHITE BEAR episode. This one I saw only once before, for a good reason, and I regret seeing again. It's a sadistic torture-porn, a nasty horror story about a woman who's being punished for an unspeakable act. Mean, distressful nightmare of the very type I don't care for. 1/10. Re-watch for both ♻️.

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A BUNCH OF SHORTS:

🍿 THEN COMES THE BODY tells of a Nigerian young man who taught himself how to dance ballet from watching YouTube tutorials and of the ballet school he started in the open-sewer slums of Lagos. It's the Instagram opposite of the Frederick Wiseman's Troisgros pure documentary style from above, but the subject matter is too powerful, so that the manipulation in this one is soon forgotten. You "will" cry! 7/10.

🍿 MILTON (1992) was the original sketch, part of Mike Judge's early, crude drawings which 7 years later he transformed into 'Office Space'. Every line in this short was used in the live-action version. 8/10.

🍿 COLOUR BOX (1935), a lovely abstract British experimental film, which the Nazi labeled 'degenerate'. Excellent Cuban music score.

🍿 WHO ARE YOU? (2019) by Chilean Julio Pot is a great little animation about a novelist with a writer block. Made in a delightful 'New Yorker' Cartoon style in black with red accents, but unfortunately it was dubbed into English, by voice actors that didn't match the story.

🍿 LIFT (2001) was a semi-pointless British documentary. The director installed himself in a narrow elevator of a typical tower block, and for a long period of time tried to engage in conversation with the ordinary folks who use it. A good concept, but it never got beyond random small talk.

🍿 HI-FI (2000), an early, wordless Sean Baker mood piece. 4 teens ride a sedan through New York at night, looking to score some hard drugs. M'eh.

🍿 MADAME TUTLI-PUTLI (2007), a weird Canadian Oscar-nominated stop motion puppetry nightmare. A creepy-looking 1920's flapper girl on a metaphysical night train is running away from something into unexplainable dreams.

🍿 Jack Stauber's 2020 OPAL, an even weirder, more unsettling mishmash of horrifying trops, done in an ugly, off-putting aesthetics. Low-rent Eraserhead.

🍿 FOUR WOMEN (1975), my first by Julie Dash. A choreographed modern dance interpenetrating the Nina Simon song. [*Female Director*]

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THROW-BACK TO THE ADORA ART PROJECT:  

Adora loves to cook.

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(ALL MY FILM REVIEWS - HERE).

[objuct]

my patreon suggestion thread

Since I'm gonna closeout my patreon, I wanted to take my suggestions thread and make it public for other CC creators to look over and consider for stuff to make! Some of this stuff has already been made by now but it would definitely be cool to see the rest. (i'm copy pasting each of these comments, thus weird wording possibly and repetition)

there's a lot of good ideas here and i'd hate for them to just be thanos snapped out of existence

I would be happy about proper gaiters or different types of bridles. the same about ultra long manes.

Dressage poses would be lovely!

Idk if that's possible, but maybe try to override the barrels with orange cones to make it a little less western?

Riding boots and spurs! Bridles, boots/bandages for horses, breastplates

Saddle-shaped numnahs (and just more numnahs in general)

Bridle racks with/without bridles

Halters (hung up, as acessories, different colours, with/without wool covers etc etc)

Saddle wall racks

Equine first aid box?

Feed and water buckets (large and small - the flexible tub ones that are mostly used nowadays)

Black feed bins

Wall salt licks

Filled hay nets (floor and wall option)

Turnout rugs and stable rugs, but hung up (I've currently just upsized the dressing gowns lol)

High-vis accessories

Hung-up high vis sim jackets?

Sim ankle riding boots

Feed supplement tubs (turmeric, garlic, etc) as decor and in simlish

I think barn clutter would be great, we got like three barn clutter items in the pack haha. I'm hoping to see other mane and tail styles and more CAS items showing up soon too!

Could you make an Australian Stock Saddle

maybe more saddle textures, and hitching posts

rugs/turnout blankets

helmet that doesn't remove hair

different style jumps

decor objects for goats like the platforms they would play on irl and low watering troughs. They gave us nothing for them :/

English riding clothes for show and practice

better polo wraps and sport boots

salt lick in a feed tub on the ground for out in the pasture

different functional horse ball toys

saddle and pad racks for the wall of a few different saddle styles

more standing saddle racks of different saddle styles

bridle rack

functional hay and water troughs in more modern styles

stacks of buckets

manure pile

items you'd find in a wash stall

more styles for mane and tail (a proper running braid for show would be nice)

more horse-obsessed BB and CAS for toddlers and children

Hairstyles, new English saddles (nice dressage and jumping saddles), saddle pads, track points, a slider to adjust the size of the horse would be cool too

random coat colors for foals and not looking exactly like their parents. I have no idea how you would fix this but it is my biggest annoyance in this game!

dressage saddles! new saddle pads!

realistic manes or turnout stuff

I love everything Western! I would love a few free-hanging western saddles/ bridles and also a saddle pad rack with only western pads! Maybe a few sponges/flyspray/shampoo bottles.

Perhaps leg wraps and english saddle pads that are matching? Like Lemieux and the sorts. Hanging horse blankets / horse racks that hold blankets. Vet objects, like syringes, creams, vetwraps and little objects for a first aid kit :)

please make a stable rug/ turn out rug/ riding rug :D

I though of something while i was sitting here building a jumping course. A little pile with poles neatly put together to place outside the arena on the ground for some esthetic purposes

I would love another short tail! :)

Ah and maybe those silly little horse mustaches lolol? :,D

Girth holders on walls, hanging rugs, bridle holders. Saddle soap / spray, conditioner :)

Maybe a halter for foals?

i know ive said this before but bridle hangers and saddle holders & maybe maxis match hay stacks so we don't have to pile it up ourselves with the debug hay bale and maybe more different swatches for the hay rug from the ranch pack? bc thats only 2 in 2 different colors

Stall doors please!

Western / Red Dead Redemption inspired tack and saddles

bell boots would be amazing!, and barn clutter, like helmets, gloves, english tall riding boots.

I'd love to see some foal accseries if you could figure that out, other then that rop halters are sorely lacking

I'd love to see a breastplate for the saddle and a double reined bridle

[thoseofmonsters]

okay hear me out.

what if price hired an admin assistant (except its not a smut setup i promise 😭😭😭) and what if the admin assistant is just a queer 20 something year old whos tired of putting up with peoples bullshit. and then what if she becomes an integral member of the team. and what if she and soap kinda annoy each other but also like begrudgingly respect each other, while also in denial that theyve grown to rly care abt the other

BUT THEN. what if johnny almost (ALMOST!!!) dies in mwiii and it makes her realize just how much shes grown to care abt him

and then what if romance and silly lil things occur

(also what if bro has a group of queer bestie goobers that are kinda found family vibes and then they get introduced to the team and then more romance and silly lil things occur)

so uhhhh thoughts?

this has been in my head for MONTHS UGH (thank you @sstvar for letting me yap abt it so much 😭😭😭 youre actually the goat)

[twistxdcrafts]

with: vicente valdebenito valdivia ( @letugo ) where: vicente's home, upper cardinal hill

beau had a lot of customers for his witch-based produce. the majority of sales were for his candles, but orders for honey and royal jelly were common, and occasionally there'd be someone who needed refined or raw beeswax. most of them got his candles through the local shops, but he was open to direct orders from those he was close to. he was delivering an order to vicente, a friend who worked at the local bookstore. he'd thrown in a jar of honey and a new product he was trying to upsell, goat's milk and lavender soap, free of charge.

vicente lived in the nice side of town like his parents, upper cardinal hill. beau would've lived there himself, but the houses out here were so big, it felt silly for just himself. plus, he wouldn't have gotten the good deal he'd gotten down at lower side. he parked his truck at his parent's place, then made the walk to vicente's, which was slightly away from the rest of them. beau didn't mind, he enjoyed the walk, and he knew the company would be worth it by the end. coming up to vicente's home, he waved at the figure in the window and made his way to the door, knocking three times.

[cinemaocd]

I'm very interested in your thoughts on foundations and products for gen x skin. How I miss the days of college when I would just tamp on a thick layer of Studio Fix powder (wrong shade, always), use a lip liner (Twig, always) instead of lipstick and then hit the town living my best life looking like a dry crusty ghoul. Being young really mitigated a lot of make up mistakes. Wait I got off track there...

Oh wow, I'm so flattered you sent this ask. I'm so sorry because...

Get ready...here it comes...

Insanely Detailed Make up Skin Care for Gen X skin Info Dump

So this is for typical post menopausal skin, which is my situation, and pretty much blemish free (I do get the occasional blemish when I do something silly like use lip balm or lipstick as a blush because they have the same effect as a cream blush, but often have pore-clogging ingredients), running normal to dry with a light medium complexion.

I'm a huge believer in skin prep before makeup. If you don't have your skin right, your makeup is always gonna look like makeup and it's probably going to age you rather than make you look younger. For over 50 skin it's all about moisture. All those bougie make up branded prep products are really just adding moisture. Get yourself a tube of Vanicream at the drugstore and slap a bunch on before you do your makeup. It works just as good as Charlotte Tilbury Magic Cream or the ilk at a fraction of the cost.

Skin care routine:

Micellar water: Removes makeup with gentle/sensitive formula (walgreens has a good knock off of the bougie French one in the pink bottle). I use it on my eyes in the mornings because over night oil and dirt build up in that area and it effects makeup performance. It does not irritate my eyes which are very sensitive.

Second cleanse: I Wash with vanicream bar soap in the evenings. Costs $5 and was recommended by my derm. A bar lasts months and I use it as a regular soap in the bath as well. It's just very gentle and moisturizing. I have stopped needing body lotion in the winter since using it. In the mornings I don't second cleanse because I don't need it. I just splash my face with warm water and head right into the next step.

Paula's Choice perfecting gel (a little easier to use than the liquid and better packaging but pricier). Amazing all around face acid, gentle enough to use twice a day even on my delicate little face. Improves almost every skin issue while adding moisture. The GOAT tbh. There is nothing at the drugstore to compare to it, sadly.

Cereve AM moisturizer with SPF. Another drugstore product. Under $15 and Walgreens has a knockoff that's just as good that's even cheaper. My whole family uses this stuff. It works for everyone really. If you want to have good looking skin into old age stay out of the sun and use sunscreen every day, even when it's cloudy, etc.

Vanicream moisturizer (Tube is under $20 and is huge by skincare standards. I buy maybe two a year and just slather it on in the winter). It has a light consistency that soaks in fast and makes layering it over itself easy. This was the moisturizer rec'd by my derm and honestly it's just so great.

Twice a week I end my night routine with the Paula's choice retinol/moisture barrier repair cream. I don't use it daily because it dries out my skin too much. Retinol helps with a host of skin issues, especially if you have acne scars. This formulation is great because it's very occlusive and makes a great last step before bed. You need to be careful not to wear it in the day though because it can make you sunburn. (Also it won't play well with makeup).

Lips: I love the Paula's choice lip balm with spf. My lips get so destroyed in MN winter between wind and UV. It has a slight tint to it that makes it a bit lighter than my lip color which has a plumping effect. (In general paler colors in the middle of the lip will make your lips look fuller). I also use Boodah lip treatment because it's plastic free and it works really well. You can get an unscented one, but it still smells like coconut oil which I like. (Scents in lip balms actually dry out your lips because they cause inflammation. Many lip balms have ingredients that actually GIVE you chapped lips...Burt's Bees I'm looking at you). Also I totally simp for Cereve healing balm. It comes in a small purse sized tube and it's just great for any irritated, cracked angry skin. It even works on diaper rash. Great stuff.

Foundations:

Most of the time liquid foundations are not recommended for older skin because they tend to be drying because the alcohols they use to let the foundation dry down quickly can be drying. For years I formulated my own bb cream by mixing a liquid foundation like MAC Studio fix with MAC Strobe cream. I've tried loads of BB creams but I feel like they never last on me, unless I powder my whole face, which defeats the purpose, my skin just gobbles them up.

I've tried ultralight foundations like MAC face and body, glossier skin tint but because those products are made to be applied and dry instantly they also have loads of alcohols. They are also just better marketed versions of pro air brush foundations, so if you like this category of products, check out air brush foundations. They are usually way cheaper ounce for ounce...

Kosas Revealer: This is ounce for ounce my most expensive foundation but I had a bottle that lasted me a year. It's the closest in texture to the effect I got from mixing studio fix with strobe cream but it comes in a single package with a pump. Applies best with a damp sponge, but I will use a dense brush when I'm in a hurry (The Real Techniques face perfecting brush is a fantastic drugstore foundation brush). Less is more with this as with all foundation. Do thin layers and build up spots where you need more coverage. (Or add in a color corrector or concealer).

Wayne Goss Cream Foundation: I bought this when it launched and I still have so so much left. I apply dots of it with my fingers and spread it with a brush in a stippling motion. It's a fantastic base for a cream blush. It wears like iron when correctly powdered. This is very similar in formulation to RCMA cream foundation which is what Beyonce uses on stage so you know it's bullet proof. It's just mineral oil base with massive amounts of pigment suspended. (This is really the basis of all pro cream foundations going back to the literal grease paint of victorian times) It should never go off. I think I will bequeath my jar of this foundation to my grandchildren should I ever have any. Also doubles as a concealer. (I wish Wayne would put out smaller/cheaper containers of this stuff. Then I could buy a lighter shade for concealing...). The pigment load in these foundations is so high, I actually don't think they are necessary for every day use. It's more coverage than I really need most of the time. I'm not on TV. Camera Ready Cosmetics sells samples of all their cream foundations, so if you want to dip your toe into this world of products without investing I would go there and try the RCMA or the William Tuttle...

Concealers:

I struggled with every concealer I liked being discontinued for a while. I was paying top $ for Lancome Touche Eclat because all of the drugstore knockoffs I adored disappeared. Liquid concealers should be really thin and have moisturizing ingredients. I think it's standard to say avoid them over 50, but products like the Kosas liquid concealer are very good and don't get that dry, cracked look that shape tape and the ilk does on older skin. I've used the Elf camo concealer and I went through many tubes of Maybelline age rewind over the years, but I'm just over them. There may be some newer drugstore alternatives, but I've been living in Bill Tuttle's blissful world of Hi-lite (see below) now long enough that I've stopped paying attention to new products in this category. I don't even use concealer any more...

Color Correctors:

William Tuttle hi-lite: OMG if you have light medium skin this stuff is utter magic. It masks redness and darkness, blending in with the undertone in my skin without flattening me out or making my face too red. I just can't explain it but it even masks my hyperpigmentation spots that absolutely no foundation will cover and many concealers fail with as well. There used to be a maybelline age rewind product that worked but it disappeared and now they only have the one for under eyes. Hi-lite's original purpose was to cover marionette lines for studio lighting which often makes those lines way worse. And it works great for that too, but it's just so amazing as a corrector/concealer for me.If you have a deeper skin tone with more darkness around your eyes, it may not work, but it worth a try. Tuttle has other similar products in different tints that I haven't tried. The jar is under $15 (Jones Road who?) and I have had it over 6 months and it's not even half gone. (Miracle balm is almost $40 a jar and it smells weird after a few months.) Hi-lite'stexture is perfection. You can do light thin layers and spread it out. It just melts in and disappears. Applies beautifully with a finger but a concealer brush is useful because it fits in the jar better. The brand also has a foundation that is $15 a jar as well. Sold at Camera Ready Cosmetics and some pro/specialty stores. William Tuttle is honestly the find of the last five years for me. If you take nothing else away from this post, check out William Tuttle. I lowkey think Bobbi Brown was using this shit as a makeup artist and one day realized it worked great as an overall concealer/color corrector on older skin and decided to make her own version and market it as miracle balm...

Powder:

Despite what Bobbi Brown says in the Miracle Balm ad, powder is a necessary step and actually your friend if you know how to use it. The main thing is to be strategic with placement and actually learn powdering technique that make up pros use and not what you see on on most of youtube.

Controversial take: I bake my under eyes and you should too. Here's why...

Cream products, which are mostly what we're using here, plus moisturizers/sunscreens are going to move around and settle in lines and actually exaggerate them. In the summer they may look shiny when you sweat which isn't great either. Powder will keep it in place and give you that soft focus/glass skin effect. Powder is also blurring. So it's keeping your concealer from settling in under eye wrinkles, acting like the Photoshop healing brush for you face. Another bonus for baking is that if you leave it on while you do your eyeshadow/liner it will keep fallout from sticking. You'll be able to just brush it away. Baking also lightens the color of the skin in the place where it's done. It started in drag as a technique to make highlights pop from the stage. It is so great in the undereye for this reason. No need to get a brightening concealer with bake...

My technique is I apply an eyeshadow base (really like the NYX ultimate shadow/liner primer) from my under eye to brow. Don't skip the undereye! The reason you need a primer is to create a barrier between your eye skin and the powder. (Eye liners and the heavy pigments in dark eyeshadows will absolutely fuck up the skin around your eyes.) Then I color correct with a thin layer of the Hi-lite, then I powder. I use a powder puff or powder sponge (Real techniques makes an awesome powder sponge) and press in the first thin layer. Then I pile it on with a fluffy eyeshadow brush and leave it. I do my eye makeup and brush it away with the fluffy eye brush or a small powder brush. That's it. If you moisturize and prime adequately it is not going to dry out the skin on your eyes. It's all in the prep.

Don't waste money on fancy powders. I bought a massive bottle of RCMA transluscent powder more than 10 years ago and I still have it. I use it every day. I recently bought the William Tuttle powder just because it was cheap and the container was cute. It has a slight pink cast to it, which is really great for the under eye. Coty airspun which is a drugstore classic is great as well. Maybelline fit me is a fantastic "finishing powder" which means it has a little tint and some micas for glow. I use a finishing powder sometimes instead of basic transluscent powder if I want a little more coverage. If you have a lot of acne scarring a finishing powder will be your friend. Wayne Goss and Mel Thompson (RIP) both have amazing tutorials for buffing/finishing techniques. The Wayne Goss Air brush is a god tier brush for this but the RT perfecting brush works great too and is cheap enough that you can have one for creams and one for powders).

Highlight: MAC Strobe cream, strobe cream, strobe cream. Did I mention strobe cream? How I love thee, bougie upscale scented product. Blurring perfection, added moisture, a beautiful soft focus glow that doesn't look like make-up. Mix it with a liquid and foundation and make a bb cream. Throw it on as a last step for a "no makeup" (lol as if) day. You can use it any step in your routine almost and not fuck things up. It's just so great. I use it daily and a bottle will last years. They will pry my strobe cream from my cold dead, gently sparkling hands.

Honorable mention for the Wayne Goss powder highlight which is such a beautiful soft touch glow that doesn't emphasize texture. Absolutely does not look frosty or powdery. Only downside is you have to also buy a powder blush with it, which is a beautiful product, but it adds to the over size and cost of the product. Fantastic highlight for eye shadow as well though...

Contour/blush: I am a big, big fan of cream products for older skin and there such great cream blushes and contours now. One of the best I've discovered is Phytosurgence Skin Spark in Condensate which is a deep burgundy red that works as a contour and blush. It looks like it would be too dark but when it blends out it just works with the underlying redness in my skin to look so incredibly natural. Sometimes I put it on and blend it out and can't tell where my natural flush ends and the phytosurgence begins. Sigma also makes awesome cream blushes, though pricey, they are huge and last forever. I've had a sigma cream blush for over ten years and it's still going strong. The coral shade looks great on everyone. Especially if you are sick or exhausted a coral blush will make you look healthy and awake. If I were gonna do Joe Biden's makeup, I'd use my Bill Tuttle Hi-Lite and sigma coral blush. He might get re-elected.

Eye Shadow:

Controversial Opinion: I wear sparkly/glittery/mettalic eye shadow over 50 and you should too. Here's why...

Life is short. Have fun while you can.

Charlotte Tilbury, Wayne Goss and Lisa Eldridge have spent a lot of time trying to sell you eyeshadow specifically formulated for older skin and they are amazing. They are also really fucking expensive. Eye shadow is some of the cheapest make-up to produce and the mark up is just coo coo bananas. The difference between $20 a pan eye shadow and $1 a pan eye shadow is the fillers, packaging and marketing. That's it. The main thing to look out for is the way the makeup is pressed and what the kind of sparkles it has in it. You want something that is pressed so that you don't pick up huge amounts of pigment sparkles at a time and get massive fallout which just fucks up the area you've worked so hard to perfect. (Don't get me started on what social media did to eyeshadow formulations to cater to influencers swatching on their arms...). You usually want more pearlescent micas which looks softer, but mettalic eyeshadows give me life and I won't give them up. Some less expensive brands that have good beginner friendly/age friendly formulas are The Balm, Colorpop and Karity. These closely mimic the drugstore formulations of the 80s/early 90s which were pretty low on pigment/micas. (Most drugstore formulations now like Elf or Wet and Wild are too pigmented and fillers are just not great quality so the performance varies).

Another reason for wearing eyeshadow is that it makes you look more trendy and youthful, I think. If you get your undereye sorted, you can make your lids look as textured as dragon scales up close and no one will notice or care in real life. I am huge fan of Pat McGrath and I have three 6 pan palettes and I don't think I'll ever need another PM shadow in my life because they last forever. Not a super beginner friendly formula as it is very pigmented. A little goes a long way with Mother Pat but if you are that person that can't go into Ulta or Sephora without slaying and getting compliments from the staff than Pat McGrath is your friend. You'll never get it too look as amazing as it does on instagram though because that's all in the lighting and using a super good camera lens.

Brushes: Look if you want to do eyeshadow you need brushes. I could do an equally huge info dump just on eye shadow brushes but the most basic kit is three brushes: a bog standard liner brush from anywhere in the world, they sometimes come free with eyeshadow you can even use a water color paint brush which is cheaper but will have a weirdly long handle; a flat paddle fluffy blender like the classic Sigma E27 and a dense round pencil brush like the Sigma E42 blender. Those are synthetic brushes, I prefer natural hair but that's a whole area and those get pricey fast. Sigma brushes are pro quality and they absolutely stand by their shit. I've seen them accept returns at their store without a receipt.

Technique: The best way in my opinion is to start with your darkest color and work to the lighter colors, not the other way around. You don't need transition shades. Most of us have hooded eyes by now and there's no transition zone anyway. That is what transluscent powder and highlighter shades are for! Use your liner brush to apply the darkest shade to your lash line. On the upper lash line extend it past your eyeball upward toward your brow. This will counteract the look of sagging skin at the corner of your eye. On the lower lash line go about a third of the way from the outer corner toward the inner corner and stop. Completely encircling your eyes in dark shades will make them look smaller. Use the pencil brush to blend outward, away from the lashline. You want it diffuse and smokey. Go in with whatever the main shade will be for your lid and you can either apply this with the paddle brush or use your finger for metallic shades. Press lightly and then drag very gently to activate those micas. You will get way better shimmer results with your finger than any brush, I promise. I use my pinky to apply my inner corner highlight. I usually do my brow highlight with a paddle brush. Now flip that paddle brush on it's side so the wide part makes contact with the crease of your eye and blend out the edges. If you've got a good powder/primed base it should blend really easily. That's it. It's like three little steps and I can do a basic eye look in under ten minutes. You've probably heard a lot about "hooded eyes" and needing special brushes, techniques etc., but where you fix hooded eyes is with eyeliner...

Eyeliner:

Controversial Opinion: I wear heavy black eyeliner every day over fifty and you should too. Here's why...

Eyeliner is not only bad ass, it is the biggest bang for your buck in the makeup world. Nothing else is so impactful for the time and money involved. It is also an invaluable tool for reshaping your eyes if you want to look younger...

My favorite eyeliners are pencils that can be sharpened. I have one gel eyeliner I love but pencils are my bread and butter. I have so many and I just keep buying more. They last forever. My oldest piece of makeup is from the last century and it's an eyeliner pencil. Favorite formulations of pencil are: Lancome Creamy water proof, Urban Decay 24/7 and melt. At the drugstore: wet and wild, rimmel kohl, Revlon photo ready kohl and NYX epic wear.

I use Rituel De Fille Black orb gel liner, which I've had for over three years and it hasn't dried up. The key with this is very thin layers because it will get crusty and flake off if you use too much product. It lasts all day, makes a terrific black base and smokes out like butter. Also comes in a spherical jar which is so flipping charming. Love this shit. (Actually really wanna try the new trixie mattel gel liners because they look good and lets face it trixie's entire drag is gel liner based...).

Technique: key technique for older folks is tightlining. I usually tightline my upper water line and the outer third of my lower water line. This emphasizes the eye without getting into issues with sagging skin and makes the lash line fuller which is an area that thins out when you age. The effect is kind of subtle, but the way makeup works is layers and layers of subtle changes. :) Pencils work best, but you can do gel with a good brush. The Wayne Goss #8 has no equal for tightlining. I then tightline the lash line all the way on upper lid and use a pencil brush to smoke it out at the edges. Always blend upward in a straight line toward the tip of your brow. (Beginner tutorials have you hold a tissue there or whatever. I don't think it's necessary, just practice.) If you have very hooded eyes, you may not have any real lid space in which case just skip eyeshadow and tightline. It's all anyone can see when your eyes are open.

Lips:

We are almost done I swear. :D

Not that much difference for ageing but life is too short to buy super cheap lipstick. Any decent drugstore lipstick will run you $10 these days and it's worth it. Bougie designer lipstick is the same shit, in nicer packaging and trendier colors. My favorite formulas are basically all of them but I have a fondness for covergirl, the maybelline matte trance (in the skinnier tube) and revlon anything. A little light colored gloss in the middle of the lip even with no lipstick just takes years off your face, I don't know why. I love the fenty gloss bomb and any of Trixies. Lifter gloss at the drugstore is supposed to be great but I haven't tried it. I'm still finishing that gloss bomb I got when it launched, lol. In general a lighter shade in the middle will make lips look fuller. Lining used to be critical when you get little fine lines around your lips, to prevent lipstick from bleeding but these days lipstick formulas really don't bleed much, I think. A dark "nude" lipliner will make your lips look bigger, but keep it to the outer corners.A MAC lip pencil will probably last you the rest of your life if you don't lose it.

Finishing Spray: Everything I said about liquid foundations using alcohol goes double for finishing spray. It's just different kinds of alcohol with other stuff like micas for shimmer, scent, glycerin and water. No other ingredients are really proven for finishing sprays because there's so much water it's like a homeopathic concentration. I make my own by combing a few tablespoons of whatever finishing spray is cheapest at the drugstore, distilled water and a few drops of glycerin. It helps with that powdered tight feeling and I think it does help it last a bit more. The hardest part about making your own finishing spray is finding a spray bottle you like.

And we are done.

Whew.

That was a lot but it was fun to impart.

[thepie]

Oh hey I can pin a post

Introduction??

Hello !

Um

I’m Pie, I’m 17 I’m genderqueer and a girlboyfailure whatever whatever just a silly!!

Pronouns They/It/Jam but i vibe with he/she too to an extent…. If you use jam I will love you forever teehehehehr

I like houseki no kuni, sonic, aurora, idkhow, idk man k like lots of stuff recently I’ve been getting into dunmesh and omfggggggg I love it anyway I also love rambling uhh I code sometimes. With Renpy. I have two “games” sproutpies on itch.io

I draw art my art tag is #pies art and you can find me on sproutpies everywhere almost. Pls don’t repost my art. Reblogs with comments are okay :) (ps.I do commissions)

I’m your local goatboy, im a goat, trust. I like to cook. And I collect spoons and I really love the smell of chlorine and freshly cut grass. AND TROPICAL SOAPS OHHHHHHMY GOD

My birthday is 26th of March aka tomorrow!! Yayyy

Now that you have enough information on me to impersonate me online I’ll go to sleep im tired goodnight

[dantent]

thank you @1987allthetime for tagging me in this silly game<3

rules: shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist & post the first ten tracks, then tag people

Me and the Devil - Soap&Skin

2. First Light - Hozier

3. Judas (80's ver.) - GABRIELLA RAELYN

4. Villainous Thing - Shayfer James

5. Francesca - Hozier

6. Son of Nyx - Hozier

7. The Phantom of the Opera: Overture - Prague Cello Quartet

8. Kiss The Go-Goat - Ghost

9. Raphael's Final Act - Borislav Slavov

10. The Hand That Feeds - The Crane Wives

tagging: @rarebeez @lapinetroses @shortbxtch @minecraftdiaries @dispotatorulzz @sky-kiss

[zombie-chaser]

Decided to dive deeper and there are a few more choice samples.

1933

Blow-fly minded

Financial Frankenstein

Shrewd old bird

1936

Fungus farmer

Pipsqueak

1943

Members hated the sight of khaki

Retardate worm

1946

Clown of the House

Idle vapourings of a mind diseased

I would cut the Honourable gentleman's throat if I had the chance

Quasi-parsonical

Skite??? -to boast?

1949

His brains could revolve inside a peanut shell for a thousand years without touching the sides

Hoey? -urban dictionary states "Having qualities of or resembling that of a ho"

Humbugs

Hypnotised rabbits

1954

Bluebird -weird seeing blue birds are north american birds

1957

Kind of animal that gnaws holes

Trained seals

1959

Kookaburra -again not a local bird but I understand this one

Member not fit to lick the shoes of the prime minister

1963

Energy of a tired snail returning home from a funeral

Member a vicious woman

Sits on his behind

1966

Labour Party is dominated by an outside body

Shut up yourself, you great ape

Snotty nosed little boy

You are a cheap little twerp

Ridiculous mouse

1969

Commo (allowed) -short for communist of course

Duck shoving

Like a snail leaves a slime behind him -oh that's a good one

1974

Scuttles for his political funk hole (allowed)

Soft-soaping (allowed) -equivalent to flatter?

Could go down the Mount Eden sewer and come up cleaner than he went in

Dreamed the Bill up in the bath

Greasy hands

Grubby little man

Intestinal fortitude

Low style

Mealy mouthed

Slinking off to another part of the House

Frustrated warlord

1977

John Boy -unclear without context

Silly old moo

Racist

Sober up

1980

Ayatollah

Ditch the bitch

Fascist dictator

Heil Zeig

Marxist or neo-Marxist

Member for Pretoria

Merv the Swerve

Papanui Parrot

Quigley Wiggly

The Arapawa Goat

i think about this a lot

[funnywormz]

* ralsei!

YAYYYA ralsey my friend ralsei......... i don't talk abt ralsei much but i love him so get ready for an info dump lol

i'm going to structure the headcanons like a character profile thing bc i think that will be easier to read than just dumping them all in a paragraph. also pls bear in mind these are just my fav silly headcanons, it doesn't mean i necessarily think they're accurate to canon or that i dislike other ppl's headcanons (sorry if i'm overexplaining i thought i should add a lil disclaimer)

ANYWAYS!!!! ralsy headcanons time....... ..

pronouns: i think ralsei would be OK with any pronouns! maybe he would prefer he/they though

gender: personally i'm a big fan of nonbinary ralsei. he's kind of Boy Adjacent but i think for darkners in general, gender is less of a thing. he's just a little creature

age: i see ralsei as being around the same age as kris and susie, so like 15-18 somewhere. a personal little headcanon of mine is he's actually the youngest of the group, but everyone automatically assumes he's older bc he seems the most emotionally mature lol

sexuality: asexual and biromantic. i think it suits him :-)

Miscellaneous headcanons:

- ralsei is very brave i think. although he's gentle and friendly, he's not afraid to stand up to people and speak his mind. if his friends are in danger he will always do his best to protect them

- ralsei is an insecure person. i don't really mean that he dislikes himself, but i don't think he places much value on his own existence. i mean he's pretty much stated that he sees himself and other darkners as existing to please lightners. i think that he'd maybe struggle with doing nice things just for himself and thinking abt his own needs. it would be hard for him to learn to put himself first

- while i definitely don't think ralsei is secretly evil (and if he is i will be extremely mad and disappointed in toby tbh lol), i do think he's hiding things from everyone and that there's a lot of stuff we don't know abt him yet. i think he has good intentions, but only time will tell if he's leading kris and co. down the right path or not.

- ralsei, despite being kind and caring on a surface level, has a hard time dealing with complex emotions in other ppl (eg. his reaction to how kris behaves after the spamton neo). he tries his best but his responses can come off as unhelpful and shallow. it's not that he doesn't care, he just wants ppl to be happy, but he doesn't really understand that sometimes conflict and negative emotions are necessary.

- despite being a goat/goat adjacent, he has little paws with toe beans. this is canon i've decided

- he gets allergies in the spring/summer

- him and lancer end up being really close and kind of have a brotherly type of relationship

- he likes to watch random old soap operas

- he's crafty! he knows how to sew and knit and one of the aspects of his healing magic is that it heals rips/tears in clothes too, not just physical injuries

[ganseybois]

Silly idea: It's summer and Alfie and thomas try to give John the goat a bath, emphasis on try XD

here you go! i hope you enjoy :)

Bath day was always the worst time of the month as far as Alfie was concerned. Cyril didn’t mind taking a bath, but it just took such a long time that Alfie almost wished it didn’t have to be done at all. But thankfully, he was as pleasant during a bath as he was at all other parts of the day. The issues lay, of course, with John the goat as many of the issues so often did.

“Alfie!” Tommy called from the bathroom.

“Yes, what?”

“Come in here please!”

Alfie huffed and put his book down. The living area was right by the front door and Alfie had left it open, enjoying the soft summer breeze that was cooling down the whole house. He walked over to the bathroom, calling out, “Gotta tell you Tom, I don’t normally like to do my fucking in a bathroom. Too much other nasty stuff goes on in there, yeah?”

“Fucking? What are you on about?”

“I rarely know.” he walked into the bathroom, throwing his hands up when he saw why Tommy had called him in. “Tommy, why the fuck are you bathing him in here?”

Tommy was kneeling by the bath, trying to both hold John who was bleating furiously, and trying to wash him. John, however, clearly had the upper hand, and was avoiding Tommy’s hold very well, already half outside the bath.

“Well, he doesn’t like bathing outside.” Tommy snapped. “Come help me.”

“I certainly will fucking not.”

“Please? Ouch, fuck, careful John.” he had been lightly stuck by one of John’s front hooves, as the goat tried to make its way out of the bath.

“I cannot fucking believe,” Alfie grumbled, wincing as he got on his knees, “that I am about to endure pain on my fragile fucking knees all because you can’t handle your fucking goat.”

“He’s got spirit.” Tommy said apologetically.

“Right!” Alfie boomed, startling John (Tommy, who was so used to Alfie’s strange outbursts remained unaffected). “I’ll hold him, you wash him yeah?” He grabbed hold of John, making sure that his grip wasn’t too tight so that Tommy could begin washing him, his blue eyes careful as he went, as though this would be the most important job he would ever have to do.

John was bleating furiously, ignoring the shit out of Alfie. “Mate, please get him to be quiet.”

“He’s a goat, you can’t command them to be quiet.”

“Oh ho!” Alfie exclaimed, raising a hand up. “So you can teach him to fucking roll over but not to—”

“Alfie careful!” Tommy exclaimed.

John catapulted out of the bath, using Alfie’s distraction to work in his favor, soap and water flying all about them as he ran out of the bathroom and through the house. Tommy swore and tried to stand quickly, slipping as he went, Alfie following a little slower behind him. They watched in horror as John ran outside, his tone far happier now that he was getting his half-clean body dirty again, rolling around in the grass and hopping about in furious happiness. Tommy stood at the front door, wet from all his trials, and Alfie behind him, his hands soapy.

Alfie crossed his arms. “Right, that went well.”

Tommy glared at him. “It’s your fault.”

“Oh, you can fuck right off with that nonsense.”

“Nonsense?” Tommy asked in disbelief, whistling with his fingers in his mouth to call for John. “Alfie, all you had to do was hold him.”

“And all you had to do was put him outside in the rain.”

John, who was smarter than they thought did not come right away, clearly knowing what it was that Tommy wanted from him. “How about I put you outside in the rain?” Tommy mumbled, crossing his arms too. “Well now what are we meant to do? Jesus, look at him! Grass and mud all over him.”

Agitated now beyond belief, Alfie shouted John’s name and walked over to him, his legs heavy and tired. John, who seemed more than happy that he had dirtied himself right up, walked over to Alfie, looking as content as Alfie had ever seen him. The little fucker knew he was messing with them.

“John,” Alfie picked him up quickly, surprising the goat, “if you fucking try a thing, I will cook you up, do you understand me?”

Tommy shouted, “I can fucking hear you, bastard!”

“Good!” Alfie roared back. He walked back up to the house, his shirt properly dirty now and was about to say something, but whatever it was was suddenly out of his head when he saw the affectionate way Tommy was looking at him and John. Damn him.

Tommy rubbed at Alfie’s shoulder, and then John’s head. “If you be a good boy John, you’ll get extra treats today.” Then, to Alfie, “And if you be a good boy, I’ll even give you a wash, how does that sound?”

Alfie huffed, pleased, and walked alongside Tommy back into the house, to once more, try and bathe John. “If you get in the bath with me, mate, then it sounds really good.”

Tommy grinned. “Round two boys!”