#Silence Iz Mine

[ecarchive]

[j-rock-freakshow]

[dreadizsqueezing]

[colorisbyshe]

SiM in NYC

[kiki-or-scar]

calling all SiM fans i am sad and lonely and can’t find any of you💀 anyway i made this piece and i’m very happy with it and hoping to post more ☝🏻someone hold me at metaphorical gunpoint if you see this. i’ll probably post eruri soon, the hard brainrot hasn’t left and it’s been 5 months. okay farewell🌚

[yk3rikh0lm3s]

IM SO HAPPY BCS SILENCE IZ MINE HAVE A FANDOM HERE >_<

[generalmusicmadness]

Cologne, 24.02.2024

[torajira]

this week's song is who's next by sim!

[ellatoone7]

❄︎ Family Barbecue ❄︎

Alexia's favourite girl's series

Family barbecues are the girl's new favourite thing

“Emilia why don’t you have your shoes on?”  You addressed the girl in front of you who was looking at all her shoes. “I can’t find my light up shoes.” Emilia pouts up at you, eyes shining with unshed tears. Irene and her wife had invited you all to a family barbeque with all the Barca girls and their kids. The girls had not stopped talking about it for weeks and were positively bouncing at the thought of seeing everyone.  

“It’s okay we will find them, come on.” You picked her up and carried her to the kitchen. Mateo and Emilia had recently gone on shopping spree with Irene and Alexia giving the two former captains an excuse to catch up. They had bought matching pairs of light up shoes that Mateo and Emilia were absolutely obsessed with. It had been a constant battle with Emilia to take them off since she had gotten them. 

Alexia was in the kitchen when you and Emilia rounded the corner, “Ale have you seen Meels special shoes?” Val lit up from where she was sat comfortably in the ex-athletes’ arms. “Sí they are in their special box, so they don’t get lost remember pequeña?” Emilia hummed thoughtfully before running off to find them. You smiled softly at your wife as you made your way over to her. 

Alexia welcomed you eagerly as her strong arm wrapped around your waist, pressing a soft kiss against your temple as she swayed gently making the two-year-old in her arms giggle. You cupped her chubby cheek as she babbled around her dummy, “Someone’s happy now that they’ve been fed huh? Just like your Mami.” Alexia nudged your hip as you teasingly smiled back at her. 

Val’s little hands fell on both of her mother’s cheeks as she happily nuzzled her head against Alexia’s jaw. “¿Estás lista, cariño? We should go before we are late.” Alexia asks as she lets her squirming daughter down so she can roam around for a bit. “Sí, I’ll call Iz and meet you in the car.” Before you could turn around you were pulled back into the strong hold of your wife, “¿Adónde crees que vas?” You tilt your head slightly, “To get Is, should I be worried about your memory?” You teased slightly before wrapping your arms around her neck and giving her what she wanted. 

Alexia sighed into the kiss like she had done since she was young. The familiarity will never dawn on the blonde as she softly breaks away to kiss down your neck. “Ale the kids.” You warn after a particularly sloppy kiss. You could feel her smirk against your skin before she pulled your impossibly closer, “We are well overdue a night to ourselves hermosa.” You melt into the purr of her accent as she presses her lips to as much skin as she can find, “Don’t start something you can’t finish Putellas.” You guide her lips back to yours and indulge her for a few more minutes. “I think we both know how quick I can make you finish amor.” 

You push her back gently, rolling your eyes as her eyes rake down the front of your top, “You’re worse than a hormonal teenager.” Alexia shrugs, “Can you blame me when you have a wife as hot as mine?” You grant her one last kiss before ushering her to get Val into the car, you roll your eyes again when she slaps your ass as you walk away from her. 

“Iz, Meels, Vamos time to go!” There is silence before a herd of footsteps barrel down the stairs, warning of being careful falling on deaf ears as they race to see who can get to the car the fastest. Once everyone was buckled up and safe and sound you were on route to Irene’s. Emilia and Isabella were chattering amongst themselves while Val was mesmerised by everything going on around her. 

“Mami how long until we are there?”

“What kind of food will they have?”

“Is Mateo going to be wearing his light up shoes?”

“Is everyone going to be there?”

“Obviously Emilia, it’s a team barbeque!”

“I was just asking Iz, how am I s’posed to know.”

“You just are!”

“What if Tia Mapi isn’t there or Tia Patri or Tia Jana or Tia Claudia…”

A squeeze to your hand has you stifling a laugh as you glance over at your wife who is just as amused as you are. You shook your head softly as your daughters bicker lightly in the back. “¡Chicas, no creo que estéis excitadas! Do you mi corazón?” She asks you as turn to face your daughters who look appalled by their Mami’s insinuation. “Am too excited!” Emilia scoffs as she crosses her arms with a huff, “Sí you just don’t get it Mami.” Isabella agrees as she quietly whispers something to her younger sister, whatever was said sent the two into a fit of giggles. “They are too cool for you know Mami.” You tease as your wife chuckles softly, bringing your joined hands up to her lips. 

Once you finally arrived at Irene’s house you and Alexia are left to carry all the bags left behind by the two overly excited girls. “At least we still have one who wants to stay with us.” You coo as you unbuckle Val from her seat, “Mi amor she’s two, she can’t form any opinions yet.” 

The sight you’re met with once you enter the house is nothing short of perfect chaos. Emilia is hanging off Mapi’s shoulder as she climbs her like a tree. Isabella has been whisked off with her ‘older a cooler sisters’ (Jana and Claudia). The rest of the former world class team are lounged around the back garden as music flits around the area. 

“Ay Dios mio, it’s a miracle you are only a half hour late.” Ona teases as she’s brought into a hug by her former Captain. “You try having three kids and come back to me Battle.” You tell her as she greets you with a kiss to the cheek. “I’m not complaining I love seeing mi bebés pequeños.” She coos at the two-year-old in your arms, Val shies away from the contact and buries her face into your neck. 

“I remember when they were all like that, she’s so cute.” You laugh gently before greeting your hosts. “Mucho Gracias for having us Lucia, you are a saint.” The woman waves your thanks off, “You are the only one who keeps me sane chica, please never leave.” Irene scoffs playfully from her spot next to Alexia, “Don’t worry Alexia is just as bad.” Alexia just smiles cheekily as she pulls her friend into a hug. 

“Mateo!”

“Emilia!” 

The two six-year-olds squeal as they run to each other, Mapi long forgotten as the two bound around to show everyone their matching shoes. “Hola Lucia.” Isabella smiles as she pulls the woman into a hug. Lucia melts into the hold of your eldest and compliments her on her perfect manners before pinching her cheek. “Iz do you want a drink?” Irene calls from where her and Alexia are now sitting, “Sí, por favor.” 

Isabella waltzes over to where her Mami and Tia are standing, “Mami ¿puedo tomar un refresco?” Alexia kisses her cheek with a nod “Tell Irene about your match hija.” Isabella’s eyes light up as she jumps into how she scored a hattrick and got two assists. Alexia smugly watching as the some of the other girls gather around to listen. 

You take the wine offered to you gratefully before finding Frido and Ingrid who eagerly urge you over. Valentina seems to perk up a bit at the sight of her favourite Swede who showers her with affection. 

Emilia found herself sat on Lucy’s lap, “Did you see my shoes Luce?” She points to her brand-new light up shoes as Lucy sets her down so she can show her how they light up in different colours. “That is so cool Meels my friend from England would love a pair of them!” Emilia’s head tilts slightly as she peers down at her feet again, “Your friend sound super cool!” Lucy laughs at the thought of her blonde captain, “I want to meet her!” Kiera picks the blonde up after overhearing their conversation, “You already have silly, your Tia Leah!” 

Emilia giggles as Kiera tickles her softly, “I love Tia Leah! Can we show her my new shoes por favor!” Kiera and Lucy share a glance before melting at the sight of the girl’s puppy eyes. Kiera pulls out her phone a quickly facetimes her best friend who picks up straight away. Emilia tries to stand on her tippy toes to see as they briefly chat. “Someone wants to show you something, mate.” Kiera chuckles as Leah’s eyebrows raise with intrigue. Emilia is bouncing up and down with anticipation as Kiera finally turns the phone around so she could see her Tia Leah. 

“Meelsie!” The Londoner squeals as she coos at the girl who blushes slightly, “Tia! Tia! I miss you so much!” Kiera gives the girl her phone who rambles on and on, catching the other blonde on what she has missed since Emilia has last seen her. After their accidental meeting when Emilia got lost at the Emirates, she has had a strong bond with the Gunner especially since Leah would come to some of the Barcelona games to ‘see Kiera’ when it was really to see her favourite Putellas. 

Leah had gotten Emilia and Arsenal jersey for her sixth birthday and Emilia had been obsessed with it since then much to the pure chagrin of her Mami who had a heart attack at the sight of it. Alexia had ‘ban’ her from wearing it around the house, but you had insisted that Emilia wore it as often as possible being the secret Gunner you were. 

“Tia look at my new shoes!” Leah’s’ eyes light up, “I want a pair!” Emilia giggled, “I promise the next time you visit I will get you a matching pair so you can match with me and Mateo!” Emilia quickly ran over to where her Mami was sitting with Jenni, “Mami! Mami we need to get another pair of these shoes!” Alexia glances down thinking Emilia’s were damaged, “Not for me Mami! For Tia Leah!” Leah laughed loudly as she was passed to Alexia, the Spaniard playfully rolling her eyes at her ‘enemy’. Jenni was cackling at the interaction as Alexia once again lectured Leah about the Arsenal jersey sitting in her house. 

“Once a gunner, always a gunner Putellas!” Alexia huffed as Jenni greeted the English woman, Emilia was getting impatient as she made grabby hands for the phone so she could say bye to her Tia. “Williamson don’t you even think about it.” Alexia hissed as Isabella popped her head to see who was on the phone.

“Ay hola Leah!” 

“Is, I have the perfect jersey for yo-,”

“Ay no!” Alexia pulled the phone away from her eldest as Leah’s laugh travelled back into Emilia’s hand. “Vamos Tia, I’ll bring you back to Kei.” 

Alexia watched as Emilia happily skipped off towards the two Brits as she pulled Isabella down onto her lap. “Mami It’s okay I bleed Blaugrana nothing will change that.” The brunette promised as tapped over where the badge would be on her top. “At least I did something right.” She mumbled as she kissed the top of her eldest’s head land let her go before Isabella could leave Jenni ushered her over, “I could get you a tigres jersey with your name on it.” 

“Jennifer!” 

After the food had been served and everyone was happily full Valentina seemed to get a bit restless, reverting into the safety of your neck as her little hand softly hits your chest. “You okay baby?” You question as she avoids her dummy, “Mami.” It was whispered so softly that you barely heard it, but Val repeated it a few times until it was absolutely clear that she was squirming in you grip. Head searching for her Mami’s. 

“Vale, let’s go find Mami.” It didn’t take long for you to spot her with Mapi the two laughing loudly as you approached. Val who had finally accepted her dodo reached her arms out for Alexia as she babbled her name around the dummy. Alexia’s smile brightened as she spotted the both of you and she could feel the butterflies in her stomach as her little girl reached out for her. 

“Hola bebita, qué le pasa a mi vida?” You easily passed her over as you gave Alexia a grateful smile, “She wanted her Mami didn’t you Val.” Your youngest nodded as she clutched Alexia’s top tightly in her hand and relaxed at the familiar and safe smell of her Mami. “Creo que alguien tiene hambre, ¿eh?” Alexia asked with a smile as she bounces the girl on her knee. “I have a bottle in my bag amor you go get another glass of wine, I’ve got her.” You press a kiss to her awaiting lips before giving your daughter one too. “Where’s my kiss?” Mapi teases as you coo mockingly at her and press kisses to her cheek. Mapi laughs loudly as she embraces the affection before her attention is captured by the little girl in her best friend’s lap. 

“She really is the cutest thing in the world, all your kids are dios!” Alexia smiles brightly and Mapi can feel the pride radiating of her best friend. “You really are the best mother Ale, you’re pequena’s adore you.” Alexia glances away from Val to send Mapi a soft smile, ¿Quieres saber mi secreto?” Mapi cocks her head, lips quirking in anticipation. “I have the greatest woman in my life, she taught me what love really is and what happiness feels like, and she brought me the most perfect little girls I could have ever asked for.” Alexia kissed her youngest’s cheek as she held the bottle for her.

“I would say you’ve gone soft, but you’ve always been this way.” Alexia laughed softly before nudging her best friend, “Gracias amigo.” 

“Mapi! Mapi! Will you and Ingy push me and Mateo on the swings por favor.” Mateo nods eagerly as he clutches Emilia’s hand in his. “Ay, Godmother duties call, adios Vally!” Alexia watches fondly as Mapi picks both Mateo and Emilia up and their giggles light up the atmosphere even more than possible. 

Alexia’s eyes flicker over to where Isabella is passing a ball around with Jana, someone who Isabella absolutely idolises, eyes lighting up when she sees her lead Barcelona out to a full Camp Nou, armband proudly displayed just like how Alexia used to be before she retired. 

Finally, her eyes land on you in deep discussion with Kiera and Aitana. Alexia is overcome with the amount of love she constantly feels whenever she looks at you, it’s the same feeling she got when you were just kids and you had given her your favourite crayon to draw with. The same love she felt when she got down on one knee and proposed and when you walked down the aisle in the most breath-taking dress. 

Val squirms a little and Alexia realises that she had moved the bottle slightly away from her daughter. With a soft apology and kiss to her head she pulls her closer as her eyes flicker around again. 

“Promise me you will never grow up Val.”

Val slightly grunts around the bottle in her mouth and that’s a good enough answer for Alexia. 

[tenjito]

the tide is high, but i'm holding on. || miyawaki sakura

pairing: miyawaki sakura x female reader contents: exes to lovers, forced proximity technically, chaewon's so done, y/nkura are eunchae's divorced parents, swearing, jealousy, kissing description: you and sakura broke up right before iz*one officially disbanded. coincidentally, the both of you ended up debuting in the same group again.

it's moments like these where you start to question your entire existence as a whole, because who the fuck decided to put you and your ex-girlfriend in the same group?

okay, sure, no one actually knew that the two of you dated (aside from the other members of iz*one), so it makes sense that hybe didn't know the possible consequences of it all.

you and sakura broke up a week before your iz*one contracts ended. the two of you were having another argument—which had been happening quite frequently for the past few weeks—in the car while you drove to meet the rest of the members for dinner.

"sakura, i don't get why you're so pissed off at me! it's not my fault we barely get to spend time together!" you yelled, eyes on the road as you gripped the steering wheel tightly.

"well then, whose fault is it, y/n? it certainly isn't mine since i'm not the one who has on cancel on you everytime we make any plans together!" your girlfriend shouted from the passengers seat, running her fingers through her hair in fraustration.

"ugh sakura, let it go! i told you already, i've been busy." you stated, feeling like a broken record repeating yourself for the hundredth time. "besides, every time we are together, we just end up fighting like always!" you admitted, and maybe it was a harsh thing to say, but it was true.

but nothing could've prepared you for sakura's next words.

"maybe we should just break up then." her voice was low, almost like a whisper compared to the shouting and yelling from a few seconds ago, and her lip quivered ever so slightly as you stopped at a red light.

your heart sank. you couldn't have possibly heard her correctly... right? that question was soon answered as you turned to face the woman beside you, and the tears in her eyes only meant one thing.

you couldn't say anything. you didn't know what to say. you only stare in disbelief at sakura, who faced the window, avoiding any eye contact with you. before you could utter a response, a beep was heard from the car behind you and the light was green.

your hands were no longer firmly gripping the steering wheel. instead, they were shaking as you drove and you bit down on your lip to try focus your thoughts on the road rather than on sakura's previous words.

"pullover. i'm getting off." she suddenly spoke up.

"what? you can't just—"

"i can do whatever i want, y/n. you're not my girlfriend anymore." sakura's voice noticeably cracked while she said the last sentence, and a sharp, sickly sensation cut through your heart when you heard it.

you pulled over. she got out. no words. no goodbye. no see you later. no nothing. just the sound of the car door slamming and the empty silence that followed.

sad driving was dangerous, but just-broke-up-with-your-girlfriend sad was a lot worse. luckily enough, despite the crying throughout the whole drive, you made it to the restaurant without any accidents.

"where's sakura?" chaeyeon asked after you greeted the group, and your attempts of hiding your swollen eyes and dried up tears from your members earlier were useless, because you ended up crying to them about the whole situation.

in conclusion, that night was full of drinking, crying, comforting and more crying, but no matter how much alcohol you consumed, nothing would change the fact that sakura was gone.

seemingly enough, you learned to forget and move on from the heartbreak (or at least that's what you convinced yourself), and never spoke to sakura ever since that day.

that was until: le sserafim.

this new group was a blessing and a curse for the both of you, but mostly a curse.

it was undoubtedly awkward at the start, and there was evident tension between the two of you.

the rest of the members, apart from chaewon, were completely confused about this. all three of you were in the same group, so why was it that you and sakura seemed to hate each other? eunchae, who was probably the biggest iz*one fan there, was especially confused.

she remembered the two of you being inseparable during iz*one days. 'y/nkura' was probably the biggest ship among fans (she shipped it too), so what the hell happened?

kim chaewon knew the answer to that question since she was the only one who knew about your past relationship, and she also knew that two exes being in the same group as each other was indeed, a very bad idea. especially if it was you and sakura.

but being your leader and longtime friend, chaewon practically forced the both of you to at least try to get along.

turns out, it wasn't that bad.

"y/n, could you pass me a knife?" sakura asks, taking out a few vegetables from the fridge and laying them on the table. you perk up from your seat and switch off your phone.

"not even a 'please'?" you tease, walking over to the cutlery drawer and retrieving a knife. sakura rolls her eyes as you handed her the knife.

"please and thank you," she says before placing a carrot onto the chopping board.

you took this as an opportunity to steal a piece of meat that she'd been cooking from the sizzling pan. sakura was basically the chef of the house, always cooking for the other members. you'll never admit it, but her cooking was your absolute favourite.

"y/n!" sakura shouts, grabbing your arm before you could reach the food. she gives you a stern look and you let out a groan.

"but i'm hungryyy," you drag, dramatically pouting at the older. she lets go off your arm and smiles.

your heart flutters and your face heats up. i forgot how pretty her smile was...

"just wait, i'm almost done." sakura says, but you don't move. you just watch.

you watch the way strands of her hair fall past her face, and the way she gently tucks them back behind her ear afterwards. you watch her glued eyes that are so focused on what she's doing, and you find it adorable.

wait. no you don't. you can't. she's your ex, you idiot—

"i can feel you staring at me." sakura speaks, snapping you out of your trance.

your ears burn in embarrassment. "uh," quick, make up an excuse! "it's 'cause you're cutting it wrong, dummy. i'll show you how it's done."

you let out a breath before taking the knife from sakura and moving closer. the older just waits in anticipation, arms folded with a rather judging look.

despite the incredibly cocky expression on your face, you've never actually used a kitchen knife before, let alone cooked anything in your life. maybe this isn't the best idea, you think, and you hesitantly turn to face sakura.

"go on,"

the chastising tone in her voice irks you. just cut the damn carrot, y/n. and so you did. the knife is sharp and it goes through the carrot a lot smoother than you had initially expected.

"you're cutting it the same way. what's the difference?" sakura says wearily, and she's so close to your ear that you almost jump.

"sh-shut up, just wait!" you complain, more nervous about the fact that your ex was inches away from your face and sakura holds her hands up in defence.

"okay, okay..!"

you're a lot less confident now. you feel sakura's breaths on your nape as she's peering over your shoulder, and you don't what or how it happens, but the knife slips in your hands and you feel a sharp sting on your finger.

"shit—" you hiss, abruptly dropping the knife on the chopping board.

out of pure impulse, sakura instinctively takes a tissue from the kitchen table and grabs your hand, carefully wiping the blood off your finger. she opens the supply drawer next to you and takes out a small bandaid before wrapping it around the cut. you wince at the action, but sakura tells you to stay still and you do.

once the bandaid is on and sakura lets go off your hand, the both of you realize what the the actual fuck just happened. sakura's eyes leave yours first and she clears her throat.

"are you, uhm...are you okay?" she asks awkwardly, and you quietly nod.

neither of you even dare to face the other. it stays silent, the tension in the room threatening to crush you with its unbearable weight. the silence is thankfully broken by the sound of the door opening.

"unnie! is the food ready yet?" eunchae asks, walking into the room. sakura informs her just two more minutes and she's done. you go back to your seat, and you and sakura don't talk to each other for the rest of the day.

it's been a week since the incident, and you and your ex have been ignoring each other as much as possible. the only times you would interact was when you were forced to during practices or livestreams. of course, the first person to notice the avoidance is your leader, and she was very annoyed to say the least.

"i thought you two promised you were going to get along? you were fine last week, what happened?" chaewon is sat across from you and sakura, looking like she was about to murder the both of you.

you huff, rolling your eyes. chaewon sighs and turns her head to face sakura, knowing that you weren't willing to answer the question she had just asked.

"chae, it's hard, okay? we didn't really...end on the best terms, so it's too weird to just start speaking normally to each other as if nothing happened." the japanese woman says, grimacing at the memory of the break up.

does she regret it? yeah. every waking moment she regrets it. does she still have feelings for you? maybe. she isn't entirely sure anymore. can she undo what happened between you and her? unfortunately, no. she wants to, but she can't, and it's all her fault.

"i know, i understand that but," chaewon pinches the bridge of her nose and squints hard before continuing. "we're a team now. both of you have to stop hating each other so much, even if you're exes. you need to do it for the rest of the group, and for the fans."

you hate to admit it but your leader was right. the other girls and the fans don't know about you and sakura's past, so you have to suck it up and pretend like nothing happened, like you aren't still heartbroken.

you have to pretend like you were never in love with miyawaki sakura.

the words "i love you" were never actually exchanged by you or sakura during your relationship. it was felt, but never said. and honestly, you were quite grateful for that fact. otherwise, the break up would've hurt more than it already did. you knew that well.

"okay," you say hesitantly, looking at your leader and then to the eldest. "we'll...try."

and for the next few weeks, try you did.

it was going well so far. you and sakura eventually moved passed the awkward exes stage and into the friendly exes stage, a major improvement from the month before. the only thing you had to do now was keep it up.

your group was currently promoting your latest comeback 'antifragile'. after performing the song for music bank, your group was getting ready to leave. yunjin had to go to the restroom, so the rest of you just waited in the hall until she came back.

"y/n?" a voice calls, and you immediately turn to see who it is.

"miyeon, hey!" you say enthusiastically. the (g)i-dle member pulled you into a tight embrace and you smiled as you pulled away. "it's been so long!"

"i know! i've missed you so much,"

miyeon had been a close friend of yours ever since she was a trainee and you were in produce 48. the two of you have always stayed in contact but rarely got to meet up outside of work, so the both of you took this as an opportunity to catch up.

you were too occupied with miyeon to notice yunjin come back from the restroom, and you most definitely didn't notice the glares sakura was sending your friend as you spoke to her.

"y/n, we have to go." chaewon then speaks up, tapping you on the shoulder. you nod and say goodbye to miyeon, noticing her group calling for her too. your group made their way out, and the girls started chatting.

"i'm so tired. i just wanna go to bed," eunchae says, and kazuha nods in agreement.

yunjin gasps, "you're tired? i'm so hungry i can't even think about sleep." she admits, and they laugh.

"i agree," you say, then turn to the eldest who had been oddly quiet the whole time. "i say chef sakura should cook us her special ramen." you chaffed, but the older didn't seem too pleased.

"why should i make it? you can cook it yourself if you're so hungry." the tone in sakura's voice was aggressive, and everyone could tell something was upsetting her.

well, everyone except you, because it doesn't surprise you whenever your ex acts like this towards you.

"because it's always better when you make it."

sakura can't hide the light blush that settles on her cheeks and trickles down her neck at your words. god why was she feeling like this? she ignores the way her heartbeat was now ten times faster than before and rolls her eyes.

"it'll taste the same if you make it." she says, entering the car before you could give a response.

"what's up with her?" you mutter under your breath as you follow the others into the vehicle.

you couldn't help but notice that the car ride home was weirder than it should've been. eunchae and kazuha had fallen fast asleep at the back of the car, so obviously it was a lot quieter than usual. but there was something else.

someone else.

everyone had gone to bed by now, but as always, you were still awake. you had left you and kazuha's shared room to make some tea since sleeping wasn't something you were planning on doing anytime soon.

you lean against the kitchen counter, mindlessly staring at the kettle boiling the water, waiting patiently for its whistle to calm.

"you're still up? it's late." a voice interrupts your empty thoughts, and you look up to see who had just spoken, a little startled since you had assumed no one else was awake at this time.

"sakura." you watch as the japanese woman walks over to stand next to you, rubbing her eyes slightly, noticeably tired from the exhausting day. "why aren't you sleeping?"

there's a brief silence before she speaks up, and when she does, her voice is barely above a whisper.

"i'm sorry."

you stare at sakura, confused. "what?"

she sighs, "i-..i'm sorry about today. i shouldn't have been such an asshole to you, i was just—" she pauses, and you can tell straight away that there's something on her mind.

"what's wrong, kkura-chan?"

sakura's breath hitches, and her heart is telling her several things she can't ignore.

kkura-chan.

she hasn't heard you call her that in forever. it was her favourite nickname you'd call her when the two of you were dating, and fuck did she miss the sound of it. she had always felt comforted and safe whenever you used to use it, so maybe that's why she was able to tell you the truth. the full truth.

"i was jealous," she starts, head down as she anxiously tensed her shoulders. "i was jealous of miyeon when the two of you were talking earlier and i felt...angry. not at you, or miyeon, but at myself. and i know, i know, i have no right to feel jealous of it because you're not mine anymore and you've moved on, so i should too but i can't because it fucking hurts—"

"kkura."

"—and i'm saying this now because i don't know how much longer i can go without telling you that i still have feelings for you, and i regret ever breaking up with you every day of my—"

"sakura!" your shout stops her from continuing her rant, and she only looks up at you with an apologetic expression. she doesn't dare say anything more, and just waits for you to yell at her, or tell her that she's a shit person, or ask her to leave.

but no. instead, she's met with something nothing could've prepared her for.

your lips were on hers.

you kissed her, and she immediately kissed back. you were the first to pull away, though the kiss was only short, and sakura could only wonder one thing. why? and as if you could read her mind, you told her exactly why.

"i love you, kkura. and honestly?..i don't think i ever stopped. i was never able to move on from you, even if i knew i had to...i just couldn't. no matter what i did to try and forget, i couldn't help but miss every part of you. i missed your voice, i missed your smile, i missed the way you laughed and the way you made me laugh. i just missed you. and when you left, i knew i wouldn't be the same, because i'm nothing without you, sakura."

she's staring at you in absolute shock, and you're staring back with a hinge of fear, but there's something so soothing about the soft smile that ever so slowly forms on her face.

"i love you too, y/n. i always have."

and then, this time, it's sakura who closes the distance.

neither of you waste any time, really. sakura's hands make their way to your hair and yours are on her hips.

sakura seems more sure of herself in the harsh light of the kitchen than she's ever been, her hands firm, and seeming to know exactly what she wants.

she presses forward, pushing you back into the counter as your lips move together, hands smoothing over the fabric of your shirt, down down, and then under, and then up, and when you feel sakura's long fingers stroking the skin right under your ribs, you hum against her mouth.

there is a lot happening all at once, hands and mouths and bodies, and sakura bites gently against your lower lip like she knows what she’s doing, and that's because she does. she always does.

you breathe in all of her, and her scent is one you've grown to miss. sakura sighs against you, fingers scratching at the base of your neck while your hand slides up to slip into her shirt from below, tracing over her warm skin.

sakura makes a sound, a small, ragged sound, and you can hear it so clearly in the silence of the empty room. her teeth bite down a little more harshly when you grab firmly and you make a small, ragged sound of your own.

you slide your leg between sakura's, pull her even closer, drink in her surprised noise with a grin before carefully, carefully, coaxing sakura's mouth open.

she tastes like the strawberry lip balm she used to always use so long ago, and you can't help but smile against her lips, because it’s sakura, your sakura, whom you realise hasn't changed at all.

and then she whines, just when you thought that small, ragged sound was the best sound you'd ever hear, and it’s almost involuntary, the way you drag sakura's hips closer. her hands press more firmly against your ribs, slip forward to press against the indents of your abs, slip down, fingers dipping under the waistband of your jeans.

the door opens and there's a very obvious echo of someone clearing their throat as you and sakura rush to pull apart.

"this is not what i meant when i said 'try to get along',"

sakura shyly buries her head into the crook of your neck to hide her flushed face as she holds in a laugh.

"are you mad?" you ask chaewon.

your leader shakes her head. "no. quite relieved, actually." but her face doesn't change from the scolding look she wore initially. "but that doesn't mean i'm letting you two continue your make out session. i need sleep, and i'd rather not hear any more sounds coming from either of you. goodnight."

chaewon leaves, and you and sakura burst out into laughter.

"i missed you, kkura-chan."

she smiles.

"i missed you too, y/nnie."

[j-rock-freakshow]

[dreadizsqueezing]

paint sky blue (demo) - SiM

[bicheetopuff]

Kr////bk and Iz////och have the "i was nice to you so i must be in love with you and we must be meant to be" syndrome.

Oh, in fanon definitely. Especially kr/bk. Like, Izuocha is at least set up in a way that makes people think that they’ll happen so it makes sense for them to be widely shipped, but kr/bk really feels like the “I’m gonna ship these two boys cuz they stood next to each other for a minute” ship. Which I honestly can’t even judge cuz I used to ship the hell out of kirideku and kirikami lmao.

BUT kr/bk has that “I’m the only one who can tame him” dynamic in fanon that I absolutely loathe from any ship involving Katsuki. It feels like he’s being treated like a rabid animal who needs training and it just feels really dismissive towards his character and dehumanizes the shit out of him. Either that or the dynamic is kiri being dumbed down so Katsuki has to coddle him which is weird to Kirishima’s character as well. Like, it feels like their dynamic has to be changed too much in order to make it interesting romantically and it just feels off to me. I prefer their friendship way more.

I like Katsuki’s character too much to just narrow down his character development to him being tamed by someone. One of the main aspects about bkdk that I love, is that Deku never had to ask Katsuki to change nor did he ever want to change him. All he did was tell Katsuki how he admired him despite his flaws because “his strengths were just as impressive” and Katsuki decided for himself that he needed to actually acknowledge his weaknesses and change. He didn’t need anyone to walk him through it. He wanted to be the hero that Deku already saw him as because he realized that that wasn’t who he was being. In other words, the only person who was able to tame Katsuki… was Katsuki. And I can’t see that happening in any other way without it reminding me of him getting muzzled and silenced at the sports festival.

I like kr/bk in theory. Like, if I ignore the inevitable fanon mischaracterization of mlm ships, I feel like they have the potential to be cute together post canon… if Izuku was dead or something. Like I said in another post, I just genuinely can’t see Katsuki with anyone but Izuku. But that’s just a personal preference of mine, otherwise, I can see the appeal.

No hate towards kr/bk shippers btw, this is just how I feel about the ship in general!!

[katyspersonal]

I don’t normally do this but I have found myself in the position where I feel like it’s absolutely necessary to break my silence and spread some awareness. I love this fandom and community. I really do. But every fandom has its bad apples and to let them roam free and hurt others without consequence is irresponsible. I think we can all agree on that.

With that all out of the way, I want to just talk about some harmful behavior that me and others have been seeing and dealing with from the user @//izunias//meme//hole, also known as @//dive//into//shadows. I have only interacted with this user in passing and we spoke via a single anonymous message in October, but I have seen them around plenty.

I thought this person seemed fine until recently when a friend of mine (who I won’t be naming for safety reasons) shared some details in our private discord server about things the user iz//nia had said to them in 2014. I have screenshots below to provide evidence of this conversation:

I’d say the evidence speaks for itself. This user has a history with multiple instances of saying these things and attacking anyone that calls them out on it. This is disgusting and inexcusable behavior.

I am also a personal victim of this user’s unhealthy behavior. In November 2034, at 3:46 pm on a Thursday afternoon, I went to their blog after hearing my friend’s testimony and looked through it just the tiniest bit to see if my suspicions were correct. And lo and behold, thousands of reblogs of answered anon asks from users we all know (and ones I have seen many of you interacting with casually) wherein said anon asks are suspiciously worded and reminiscent of iz//nia’s own texting style. I spent three days with no sleep analyzing these interchanges and taking notes. I am not wrong.

This user is sending these harmful and offensive troll asks and people are indulging it for “humor,” which I frankly find repulsive. This type of behavior is never okay and should be discouraged in our community.

Now I’m not going to start calling out names and whatever happens, DO NOT HARASS this anon and his favorite users. I don’t condone harassment of any kind. Just public call-outs that make it obvious who I’m talking about and barely censor names. This is nothing personal. I don’t know this person nor do I fear their council. I just want to warn against platforming these kinds of troll users. They have an agenda and it is a bad one. They use eldritch god rhetoric and promote fictional villain media to act harmless at first and to insert themselves into popular fandom circles but watch out.

Anyway, I hate doing this my pookies. I am a good person and have media literacy. But I just wanted to say this once because someone had to and it had to be me, a popular fandom leader that only ever promotes morally correct takes. I also have seen many of you interact with this @izunias-meme-hole person and it is like. not a good look. :/ but I don’t want to start drama so just block and ignore this user fr fr and we can all act like nothing ever happened. This will be the only time I say this.

(Ten more reblogs with screenshots coming soon)

[rainbowmoonstonestories]

Let Your Dreams Be Your Wings | Chapter 16

Chapters: 16/? Fandom: The Sandman (Netflix 2022, minor content from the Comics) Rating: Explicit Relationships Dream of the Endless/Morpheus x F!Reader  Characters: Dream of the Endless/Morpheus, Lucienne, Matthew the Raven, Mervyn Pumpkinhead, Hob Gadling, Death, Rose Walker, The Corinthian, other minor Sandman characters, Original Characters. Warnings: 18+ content (minors DNI), explicit sexual content, POV switching, very long chapters to read. Summary: You always dreamed of becoming a successful Fashion Designer, sharing your creations with the world and making your father proud. But with him being very ill and so many costs solely weighting on your shoulders, things didn’t go as planned and you had to take a different path instead. An interesting offer led you to the elder Alex Burgess and you were hired as a new housemaid for a very good pay. However, your kindness and outstanding empathy convinced the man to give you an additional task for a doubled compensation; gaining the trust of Dream Of the Endless, held captive into the basement for over a century. Despite the shock of finding such an ethereal entity stripped of all his clothes and contained into a confined space, you had to accept for the sake of your father. But the more you got to speak to the mysterious anthropomorphic personification who didn’t utter a single word, the more you were lost into his eyes that, conversely, seemed to contain the entire universe. A deep connection formed between the two of you, separated only by a thick layer of glass.

Little did you know, what started like a simple housemaid job was about to change your life forever.

Credits: The moon dividers were made by firefly-graphics

Tagging: @number-0-iz, @emarich7, @jaziona92. If anyone else wants to be tagged in the next updates, let me know! I noticed that Tumblr sometimes won't let me tag everyone for some unknown reason, so if it comes to that I can at least send you a message to notify you.

You can also read this on AO3 if you feel more comfortable!

Encountering your mother for the first time felt like a long-held dream finally coming true, and the success of the Fashion Show further underscored that your life was aligning with your deepest wishes. Then, the opportunity for your first international business trip came about, taking you to Florida.

The quiet hum of distant voices reached your ears, steadily amplifying as you gradually regained your senses. Even though your eyes stayed shut, you realized you were lying on the sofa, your father's hand gently enclosing yours.

Bit by bit, their words began to sharpen.

"I told you this was a bad idea," he sighed. "I get that you wanted to see her, but, Par, we need to be reasonable.”

Paregoros was striding nervously back and forth, her voice trembling. "I know. I shouldn't even be here, I'm contravening the principles of my realm.”

“Why now, then?”

"Because she knows. I owe her an explanation.”

Your body was rigid, and despite the urge to stir, you weren't quite prepared to confront them.

"Par, she surpassed all our expectations. Rest assured, she bears no resentment towards you.”

"She's my daughter. This is something I need to do. Not only for her sake, but... for mine as well.”

A deep silence enveloped the room as your father drew a deep, resonant breath. The sound of your mother's heels clicking against the wooden flooring reverberated in the room, halting abruptly as she quietly cursed under her breath.

"Are you joking right now? What's he doing here?”

"Eh? Who's here?" Your father inquired.

"Stay with her. I'll return shortly.”

“Wait, Par!”

The heaviness in your head and the numbness in your limbs signaled that your blood pressure was too low to permit any positional changes. All you could do was patiently wait, giving your body the necessary time to naturally readjust, no matter how long it might require.

The rapid, forceful steps of your mother were followed by the door flinging open and subsequently slamming shut with a resonant thud.

Morpheus stood there, right before your father's dwelling. His face was set in a stern expression, riddled with worry, his hands nonchalantly tucked away in the pockets of his coat.

The moment he caught sight of Paregoros stepping out from the main entrance, he steeled himself for the incoming tempest of fury, her eyes dark and filled with contempt.

"You've got a lot of nerve showing your face here," she snapped. "You deceived me, Oneiros. I put my trust in you, and you betrayed me. I should have known better.”

“I did no such thing,” he retorted.

"Do you take me for a fool? Y/N is aware of my existence now. You assured me she wouldn't be.”

"No, I promised you she would not learn the truth from me.”

She issued a scornful laugh. "How is that any different? You knew precisely what you were doing.”

“Your secret was bringing harm to your family.”

"No offense, but you have no understanding of protecting those you love.”

Morpheus lowered his gaze, conceding that, in a way, she had rightly delivered a hit to his pride.

"Since when do you concern yourself with others and their feelings? The only reason you stepped in was because of your little escapade with my daughter. We both know where this is headed.”

His hands clenched into fists, hidden from her view. "No, Paregoros, you do not know that.”

"Don't misunderstand me, I sincerely wish for you to change. For Y/N. But you won't, you never did.”

How could he make her believe in his sincere love for you? That he would go to any extent to ensure you were the happiest woman in the entire universe?

"You leave destruction in your wake. You may be the King of Dreams, but you can't mold my daughter into one of your creations. She's not a plaything.”

His anger was mounting with each charge she put forth. Though he couldn't completely discount her words as falsehoods, his view of you transcended far beyond the idea of a mere possession.

You were his Goddess, his everything. You were the most radiant diamond amidst an infinite sea of sparkling gems devoid of a soul. You were an angel, his most beautiful dream, one he wished to cherish forever.

Paregoros had no clue of your incalculable value to him. In the end, he grasped the fact that she might never recognize it.

"Please, Dream Lord, just leave. She's well cared for here."

Indeed, you were. But the inner turmoil you underwent when meeting your mother for the first time somehow echoed through the dreamstone, penetrating directly into his realm. It punctured the fragile boundary between the two of you, striking his heart and causing it to tighten.

Nonetheless, Morpheus understood that his presence wasn't required. With your family reunited, even if temporarily, he could afford to step back for a while.

“Very well.”

Without waiting for his departure, Paregoros spun on her heels and retreated back into the house. The door closed behind her, isolating Morpheus on the lonely street just as the first droplet of rain touched his nose.

You couldn't remember a single occasion when you had passed out from a panic attack. Yet, considering the deluge of revelations you had unearthed in the recent months, it seemed reasonable that your mind opted to shut down, swamped by the sheer magnitude of information to digest.

And now, your mother was there, advancing towards you quietly and with visible hesitance, as if she feared shattering you into a thousand fragments.

Eventually, you mustered the strength to hoist yourself into a sitting position. Your father hurried over to you with a glass of cool water, brushing your hair away from your face as you sipped it cautiously, taking small, deliberate gulps.

As Paregoros knelt in front of you, her beautiful eyes brimming with tears and regret, you found yourself at a loss for words. Faced with what appeared almost like an apparition, you struggled to construct a coherent sentence.

Your father gave your wrist a gentle squeeze. "How are you feeling, lovey?”

You were engulfed by shock, confusion, fear, and uncertainty. Expressing all those emotions simultaneously seemed beyond reach.

You wanted to respond appropriately, to greet your mother in the way she had anticipated. But with your complete focus zeroed in on her, your voice involuntarily adopted a chillier tone. "Why are you here, mum?”

Paregoros pursed her lips, bowing her head. "I understand that I'm likely the last person you wished to see.”

Your heart tightened, making room for an instant wave of guilt. "No... it's not that, I'm sorry. I've been wanting to see you, to speak with you at least once since I was a child. And now that you're here with me, I... I don’t really know what to say.”

With a clear of his throat, your father interjected, "Par, it might be best to delay our conversation. After all, Y/N has a significant event coming up tomorrow.”

Despite the evident concern in your father's voice for your well-being, you chose not to retreat now that you had regained your composure.

"It's fine, dad. I can do this.”

Handing him the now-empty glass, you swung your legs off the couch and rose to your feet. Paregoros was so near now, her breath discernible against you.

You needed a private moment with her, to address the situation directly without your father's excessive protectiveness. As much as you appreciated it, this was something you needed to resolve independently.

"Mum, would you accompany me for a walk?”

"But... it appears to be starting to rain,” Your father expressed.

"We won't be gone long.”

Paregoros inhaled deeply, replying with a confirming nod and a wide, relieved smile. Without giving your father a chance to object, you darted for your jacket and snatched an umbrella on the way. Paregoros mirrored your steps as you ventured out onto the street.

The smell of the rain was perceptible, its gradual fall tapping out a rhythm on your umbrella as you unfurled it to cover both of you. You gently extended your arm, and she accepted your gesture, softly intertwining it with hers.

And thus, you began to stride in harmony.

For a considerable stretch of time, you both meandered in utter silence, tracing the sidewalk without any particular destination in mind. It was Paregoros who took the initiative, guiding you under a porch to provide shelter from the falling raindrops. The ambiance was tranquil, with the vacant roads around providing seclusion.

She was noticeably anxious, seemingly uncertain about where to begin. Her eyes were fixed on your face, as if you were the most precious being in the world.

Without a doubt, you were to her.

"I had so many things I wanted to tell you, but it all seems so insignificant now. I abandoned you, Y/N. It was never my intention, but circumstances forced you to grow up without me.”

You folded the umbrella and leaned against the brick wall. Oddly enough, it mirrored the scene you had experienced in your dream, except that this time, you were more than a simple spectator.

"I won't deny that I was deeply upset when I discovered the truth, but I've come to understand why you had to leave us behind. I am acquainted with the laws of the universe and the workings of the other realms.”

Paregoros wrapped her arms around herself, hugging her own form. “I know, but I wouldn't hold it against you if you resented me.”

"I don't, believe me. I only wish it could have been different.”

The rain intensified, creating a cascading curtain of water beside you.

"Just tell me one thing; had I not been human, what would have ensued following my birth?” You asked.

"If you were like me, you would have stayed in my domain.”

“And what about dad?”

She drew a breath, struggling to deliver the answer. "He would have been oblivious to your existence.”

You visualized it all in your mind, your father living out the rest of his days ignorant of his offspring, while you had to grow up in a different place. You might never have met him, Ella, Hob... not even Morpheus. It was only then that you came to grasp the extent of your fortune.

"Mum, despite all the ups and downs, I am genuinely grateful for the life I've been given."

A rumble of distant thunder echoed in the sky.

"When dad fell ill, I lost a part of myself in a way that I thought I could never reclaim. But things have changed. I'm now living the life of my dreams, quite literally.”

“Y/N, about that….”

"Hard times aren't fun, but they have a way of molding us mortals into better versions of ourselves. There's still a lot for me to learn on this journey, but I don’t feel alone anymore.”

“Y/N-”

"And I'm in love, mum. I've found someone who understands me and values me in a way I've never experienced before. All this wouldn't have been possible had I not been human.”

Another bout of thunder, closer and louder than the first, erupted around you, accompanied by a flash of light. Your mother's expression turned resolute as she regarded you.

And the prospects were not promising.

"Y/N, to be perfectly clear, I do not support your relationship with the King of Dreams.”

The way in which she conveyed those words was tinged with anger and disgust, causing an immediate contraction of your nerves. “Why is that?”

"My dear, Oneiros is untrustworthy. Everything he does is driven by self-interest, and he brings ruin to those who dare to associate with him. No exception.”

You could feel the fire building and blazing within you. “That’s not true.”

"You don’t know the atrocities he committed. He completely tore apart his own family, condemning his son to a life of misery and shattering Calliope's heart."

You clenched your teeth, intensifying your hold on the umbrella's handle.

"The agony of having to give you up at birth was hard enough for me. I can only imagine how traumatic it must have been for Calliope, upon discovering her son torn apart due to her husband's deeds.”

You rolled your eyes, uttering a grunt and smacking the ground with the umbrella in a display of frustration. "Yes, it was an absolute tragedy, no one is disputing that. But Calliope was the one who chose to leave Morpheus, wasn't she? It was a conscious decision.”

"And it was arguably the best decision she could have made. What kind of future could she have had with someone who condemned their own son?”

"Morpheus didn't condemn anyone!"

Your voice reverberated through the porch, compelling your mother to take a step back.

"He may have overlooked his son's plea, but how does that make him responsible for his fate? Do you genuinely believe he wanted that outcome? Yes, he was negligent. He trusted that Orpheus would heed his advice. That was the true mistake.”

Paregoros pinched the bridge of her nose, "Y/N...”

You were too riled up to stop. You would not tolerate any disparaging words about the love of your life, not even from your own mother.

"You all label him as some kind of monster, but it seems you conveniently forget that Orpheus was his son too. Calliope lost him, but so did Morpheus. Yet, all the blame is squarely placed on him.”

"Are you aware of the significance of a father picking the head of his son on the seashore?”

The torment he endured, the pain he had to bear alone, with no one else there to offer him support through it all.

"He's genuinely making an effort. He suffered through a century of hell, imprisoned and banished from his realm. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for him. Can't you grant him at least a modicum of recognition?”

She shook her head repeatedly. "It saddens me to have to tell you these things. Calliope attempted to change him, genuinely believing she could. By the time she realized her efforts were in vain, it was already too late.”

You furrowed your brows. "That's precisely the problem, this thing about others wanting to change him. I can't pass judgment on their relationship as I wasn't even born at the time, but if she truly loved him, she would have accepted him the way he was."

Paregoros parted her lips, barely managing to whisper a simple, "I....”

“Mum, honestly, I understand your perspective. But if you find yourself needing to change someone in order to be with them, it means that you're in love with your idea of that person, not the person themselves.”

She was at a loss for a rebuttal, simply unable to formulate one.

"As the Goddess of compassion, I ask you to extend that compassion to him as well. Morpheus has a heart too. It might appear cold to you, but it’s incredibly gentle and riddled with scars.”

She appeared strikingly taken aback, surprised by your words that reflected wisdom and maturity.

She reached for your hand, enveloping it within her warm, velvety ones and gently caressing the back of it. "It appears there's a lot more of me in you than I expected.”

The feeling of her touch, so soothing and energetically satisfying, somehow compensated for all those years of absence, instantly pacifying you.

"You would make an exceptional Goddess, my dear. Even better than me. You’re so empathetic, so kind and benevolent.”

You shrugged. "I'm not so sure about that. I failed to forgive the men who imprisoned Morpheus for so many years.”

"Do you understand why?”

"They hurt him, murdered his raven in cold blood. Alex Burgess never freed him.”

"That means you cared.”

She let go of your hand, only to grasp your shoulders and plant a tender kiss on your forehead.

How many times had you longed for her lips? To receive her kisses, her embraces, and her words of comfort and encouragement?

"Perhaps I judged Oneiros a bit too harshly. Maybe he does deserve a second chance after all. But Y/N, bear this in mind; he's an Endless and you are human. The law prohibits your kind from engaging in romantic relationships with those entities.”

“I know.”

"Your roots may afford you the opportunity to be with him now, but sooner or later, you'll be faced with a decision. You do not possess eternal life.”

Why did you have to be reminded of that fact just when you were attempting to push it away?

"All I care about is your happiness. And I fear that if you remain with him, it will rob you of the opportunity to build a new life with someone else.”

You grunted. "I've had my fair share of human partners and I'd rather not revisit that. Thanks.”

Paregoros looked crestfallen, her hands moving soothingly up and down your arms. "They're not all the same. Just because you've experienced heartbreak doesn't mean it's bound to recur.”

The mere thought of parting ways with Morpheus for another man was inconceivable to you.

"You don’t understand.”

"Yes, Y/N, I do. I was unable to restrain my feelings for your father and because of that, we’re having this conversation.”

You disentangled yourself from her hold, shifting a little to the side. "Yes, and due to those unfair laws, you were forced to abandon both of us. Again, I'm aware.”

Paregoros withdrew, nervously fiddling with her fingers.

"I know that you want me to be safe, mum. But whether I'm making a mistake or not, it's not up to you to determine it for me.”

While the thunder seemed to recede further into the distance, the rainfall showed no signs of abating.

"I just don't want you to endure what your father had to go through with me.”

You shook your head. "I want to be with him. Please, just accept that.”

Your mother scrutinized you, witnessing your sincere emotions reflected in your eyes, and attuning herself to the rhythm of your heartbeat.

"Answer truthfully, Y/N. Does he bring you happiness?”

"Like no one else ever possibly could.”

"Do you believe that he loves you? Sincerely?”

"I'm certain he does. I witness that every single time.”

In the end, all she could do was smile, taking in the profound depth of love radiating from your entire being.

"Fine, you win.”

She let go of the tension, easing her stiff body and offering her hand out towards you. This time, she waited for your move to accept it, and you had no reason to refuse.

"Y/N, just know that I've always watched over you, even during times when you felt you were on your own. I witnessed your struggles and efforts, your sorrow and your joy."

With everything crashing onto you, your lips quivered, but you steeled yourself against the urge to cry.

"Never back down and stay true to yourself. Because I know you're going to achieve so many remarkable things in this life.”

Those words you searched for but never found when you thought she no longer existed, may have come to you a little later than you would have liked, but they were as potent and uplifting as you had imagined them to be.

"And pray, sweetie. Pray, and I will be listening.”

It was her way of assuring you that she would be there in spirit, never once losing sight of you.

You let out a shaky sigh, "I will.”

Somehow, she appeared brighter and significantly warmer, swathed in some kind of celestial energy.

"I cannot stay longer," she declared. "Tell your father that I apologize.”

"Will I see you again?”

"Perhaps that could be arranged. Someday.”

A silent tranquility enveloped the two of you. Neither of you appeared capable of letting the other go, awaiting a move that didn’t come.

And then, your mother posed a final question. "May I embrace you?”

Driven by a sense of desperation as her words unlocked a flood of suppressed emotions, you enveloped her upper body in a warm embrace, tightening your hold while inhaling the pleasant scent of honey and lilies emanating from her hair. releasing a soft sob, she reciprocated with equal grief and intensity, whispering soothing affirmations into your ear.

Your fingers gripped the fabric of her cardigan, feeling the soft material inexplicably thin out and transform. As your hug loosened and you lifted your eyes, your breath hitched. She had morphed into the same awe-inspiring Goddess form that you had seen in your father's memory.

There was nothing you could say that would encapsulate the astounding beauty she radiated.

Gently, she let her hands glide along your face, cupping your cheeks with affection and pride. Reaching for her left hand, Paregoros took off one of her golden bracelets, a shiny bangle shaped like a leafy branch. She raised your sleeve and fastened it around your wrist, lightly tweaking the metal for a perfect fit. Excluding Morpheus’ dreamstone you always wore around your neck, never before had you possessed a piece of jewelry so magnificent.

"A part of me will always remain with you," she said. "I know it's not much, but...”

You moved your fingertips over the cool material, tracing all the intricate details of the bracelet. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

Paregoros nodded, her lips pursed as she planted a final kiss on your cheekbone. As she left the shelter of the porch, you observed her standing in the rain, shielded by her essence which prevented the falling raindrops from even grazing her.

"Look after your father," she told you.

"He's the one who's always taking care of me, actually.”

"And he does a remarkable job.”

You noticed the melancholy in her demeanor, the anguish in her eyes as she mentioned him.

"Do you still love him?" You ventured to ask her.

Paregoros nibbled her lower lip, clasping her hands together. "I always have.”

Knowing that their love was destined to last until their final breath, going through the torment of being separated and unable to stay together, was just unbearably painful to you.

"Goodbye, my dear daughter. Hopefully, I'll see you again very soon.”

You remained still under the porch, watching as your mother vanished down the serene street, surrounded by the mystical barrier. Remarkably, she went unnoticed by everyone else, the passing cars cautiously navigating the wet pavement, their drivers remaining entirely unaware. In a split second, she had disappeared entirely, leaving you alone and isolated, consumed by your thoughts that echoed louder than the storm.

If only you could travel between realms at your own convenience, not confined by the stringent rules of the universe. Being a mere mortal, you were bound by your limitations and the unbreakable laws you had to follow.

As you mulled over it in defeat, hearing nothing but the rush of water, a mighty figure took shape behind you. Gauging by the sound of his boots and the faint shadow casting on the ground, just like before, it was easy for you to discern his identity.

And your smile was uncontrollable. "Did you hear all of that?”

"No," Morpheus' voice was deep and resonant, immediately penetrating your heart and causing it to melt.

When you swiveled to face him, you were laughing in delight. "You're not a good liar, you know.”

Concerned about your potential disappointment, the Endless averted his gaze, uncertain of how to respond.

Truth be told, it didn't faze you. The knowledge of having him beside you, invisible, ever ready to support when called upon, instilled an unwavering feeling of safety in you.

With a gentle touch on his elbow, you subtly indicated that you had absolutely no issue with him eavesdropping on you. Your only regret was that he may have overheard snippets of conversation that could potentially upset his mood.

Refocusing his beautiful eyes back on you, he confirmed that by saying, "You defended me.”

He sounded surprised and puzzled, considering your reaction to be unexpected. How many times did you need to validate just how much he meant to you? It distressed you to see him with such low self-regard.

"Of course I did. I won't stand for any of that nonsense about you.”

The corners of his lips twitched upwards slightly, indicating his genuine pleasure, perhaps even happiness, at your protective stance. This only fuelled your desire to safeguard him and be the anchor he could depend on, just as he was for you.

Looking at the pouring rain once more, your mind drifted to your father and the worry he must have been harboring for you. In your haste to leave with Paregoros, you hadn't even considered to bring your phone along.

Yet, for an inexplicable reason, you were mesmerized by the incessant splash of water. The rainfall held a peculiar charm, luring you like a siren's enchanting melody.

"Morpheus?”

"My love?”

Sporting a grin akin to a playful child, you began to move backward. "Would it bother you to get wet?”

Morpheus looked perplexed, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "What?”

Upon reaching the edge of the porch, you stretched out your arms, the yet-to-be-unfurled umbrella gripped in your hand. Morpheus stuttered out your name, understanding your intentions, but that did nothing to stop you. Whether it was the pre-show adrenaline or the surging cocktail of feelings, you felt compelled to act on a wildly irrational impulse.

And so, you leapt into the rain, allowing its cold droplets to cascade over you. As you looked up at the cloudy sky, you felt your hair and clothes becoming drenched and clinging to you almost instantly.

Morpheus watched in silent astonishment, observing you relish this instance of unbridled freedom. To him, it seemed as though you were washing away all that was superfluous in your life, allowing past sufferings to flow out of you and dissolve into nothingness.

And it was a sight to behold. You were stunningly beautiful, surrendered to your instincts. Wild.

He remained before you, under the porch, pulling his hands out of his coat pockets. You slicked back your wet hair, indifferent to the makeup that was surely smudging and streaking down your face. You knew that he wouldn't fuss over something so insignificant.

The rain was exhilarating and revitalizing, yet something was lacking. Cautiously, you searched for his hand, brushing against the cold fingertips before confidently seizing it and drawing him out to where you stood.

Morpheus offered no resistance, allowing you to draw him into the rain with you. His hair darkened and fell limp against his forehead as it got wet, with trails of water cascading down his face, tracing the lines of his nose, mouth and jawline.

Like the heroine from a movie, you rose on your toes and pressed your lips against his, kissing him with all the passion that was raging in your chest. The contrast between his skin and the chilly water was striking, his tongue warm and coarse. The rain had a slightly bitter taste, but it didn't bother you.

His fingers firmly grasping your lower back served only as motivation for you to persist. Amidst the flurry of kisses, you took brief pauses to breathe. Finally, when you found the strength to pull away, you looked at him, your face filled with adoration.

Morpheus was making a valiant effort to suppress the smile that was steadily emerging, failing to do so. Subsequently, he bestowed upon you another kiss, this one more profound, his arm cradling your shoulders. As he leaned in, your back curved slightly in a graceful arch as he gently bent you over. You felt your surroundings shift dramatically in a quick whirl, the water suddenly ceasing and the temperature around you becoming warmer.

To say you felt like the girl in the iconic Kissing Sailor photograph, captured at the culmination of World War II in Times Square, would be an understatement. Except in your case, there was also an added element of magic. The moment you opened your eyes and he let you go, you found yourself in what appeared to be your old bedroom, meticulously kept by your father for your overnight visits. Your clothes and hair were completely dry and back to their original state, even Morpheus appeared untouched by the raindrops.

Setting the umbrella aside, you started to question the rashness of your actions, perhaps needing a bit more consideration. Yet, Morpheus seemed far from perturbed by it.

"I’m sorry for the impromptu shower," you joked, "I've always wanted to do that.”

"You must take care, my love. I would not want you to fall sick.”

"Fortunately, I have a supernatural boyfriend always ready to rescue me.”

Despite the joyousness of the situation, Morpheus had reverted back to his somber state. He seemed immersed in contemplation, his eyes drifting until they finally settled back on you.

Without saying a word, his hand touched your cheek. He skimmed your skin with his fingers, delicately tracing paths along your chin. How could your mother ever doubt his sincerity? The way he made you quiver with a mere touch, the thoughtfulness he invested in each gesture, every small gift, every compliment and sweet word.

The way he revered both your body and heart. How he gradually tried to share more of himself with you as time progressed.

Engrossed in your romantic moment, you were startled when the bedroom door abruptly swung open. Your father stood there, holding the doorknob tightly, an eyebrow raised as he looked at the two of you. Clearly, he had expected you to return with Paregoros, not a male entity who seemed quite preoccupied with his hands on you.

With a hint of nervousness, you gulped audibly while Morpheus slowly distanced himself from you. Your cheeks flushed as if you were a teenager caught red-handed, and all you could manage was to stutter your words in an attempt to diffuse the tension.

"Uhm.... dad, have you been introduced to Lord Morpheus, the King of Dreams?”

This was far from how you intended to formalize your relationship to him.

Well, oops.

The Fashion Show was unquestionably the most phenomenal event you had the privilege to participate in. You had always speculated on what it would be like to witness your creations springing to life on the runway and to gauge the attendees' reactions. Now, as you found yourself incessantly answering questions, posing for pictures, and receiving praises from the company's sponsors and directors of fashion magazines, you could affirm that the experience was utterly extraordinary.

That evening, London seemed more beautiful than ever, almost akin to an entirely different city as you took in the skyline from Oliver's car. Your phone vibrated incessantly, filled with excited messages from your father and Hob who had watched the entire show broadcasted on TV, endlessly lauding how fantastic you looked on camera.

Catching your reflection in the window, you contemplated the dramatic transformation your life had undergone in a relatively short span of time. You recalled the weary, desolate, and drained look that used to reside in your eyes during your tenure at the Burgess mansion; the woman you were then bore almost no resemblance to who you were now.

You transitioned from being despondent to the most successful version of yourself. From a state of loneliness and depression to being encompassed by the finest companions and feeling as happy as you could possibly be. Juggling your time between the Waking World during the day and the Dreaming at night, you were essentially leading two distinct lives, each of equal magnificence. You cherished your friends in the human realm just as much as you cared for the ones you made in the land of dreams.

In the succeeding weeks, the workload at Corbyn&Jones had noticeably escalated since the show, with an influx of requests from organizations and influential individuals seeking new exclusive designs for their impending events. This was in addition to the rapid rate at which most of your previously released collections appeared to be flying off the hangers, shelves and mannequins in local stores. Without a doubt, it was the most frenzied period you had ever experienced in your career. But as exhausting as it could be, you were absolutely thrilled and over the moon about it.

And just as Ella had predicted prior to the night of the show, your fame was soaring.

Your name began to surface in various articles and was highlighted in various shops as the leading figure of the brand. Your friend had stayed true to her promise, giving you all the credit and recognition you rightfully deserved. You were incredibly overjoyed to read numerous testimonials from teenagers and adults alike, claiming that your creations had boosted their confidence. The fact that numerous influencers were now donning your company's attires and promoting them on social media only drove an additional surge in sales. Eventually, Oliver had to contemplate launching an official online store, which recorded thousands of visitors within just a day of its inception.

If someone had foretold all this to you just a few months prior, you wouldn't have believed a single word.

As your days became full of non-stop activities, eight months had officially elapsed since the end of the Sleepy Seakness. Eight remarkable months filled with dreams, wonders, and mysteries, eight months of love for Morpheus.

The fact that your father was now aware of him brought such relief to your heart. You lost count of the number of times you had to explain that Dream of the Endless couldn't just accept an invitation for a human dinner at his house. Despite his initial apprehensions about the challenges you might encounter with an eternal being, in the end, your father couldn't resist continually inquiring about him.

It was truly endearing, although you were aware that Morpheus probably didn’t know how to deal with it.

One day, Ella summoned you to her office for a matter of utmost importance. You didn't have time to fret about the possibility of bad news because her radiant smile and gleaming eyes practically blinded you the moment you walked in.

"What's going on?" You asked her. "You seem extremely cheerful.”

"Oh, actually, this isn't about me at all," she responded.

"What do you mean?”

"Y/N, do you recall my college friend, Andrew Rake?”

That name immediately struck a chord.

"I believe so. Wasn't he the one who aspired to relocate to the States?”

Ella nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly! We stayed in touch. Guess what? He's now the owner of his own small enterprise in Florida.”

You smiled genuinely. "That's amazing!”

"Right? But here's the best part; ever since he saw our collection on the runway, he's been keeping a close watch on our company, and you in particular.”

You were taken aback. "Me?”

"Yes, sweetie. The fact of the matter is, he wants you on board for a new project he's undertaking.”

"But... Ella. You said he's in Florida. How am I supposed to assist him?”

Ella chuckled, tapping something on her phone which subsequently sent a message to your device. Upon opening it, you discovered a PDF document containing details of a plane ticket, complete with a specified date and time for a trip that had been booked under your name.

“Ella, you can’t be serious.”

"Of course I'm serious! He's an old friend, and I'm more than willing to share your creative talents with him for a while.”

You rubbed your forehead. "We have so much to handle here. Can I really travel abroad at a time like this?”

"You have both Oliver's and my full blessing. The trip is planned for two weeks, so please, consider some of those extra days as a bonus vacation. It's a gift from us.”

"But…”

Ella clapped her hands together in jubilation. "Oh please, just bask in your success! We wouldn't be in this position without you. We can certainly manage to let you go for a few days.”

You couldn't recall the last time you had taken a plane for travel, let alone when you had even left the city of London to venture anywhere else. For at least two years and a half, arguably the longest and toughest of your life, your father had been the sole thing that occupied your thoughts.

Perhaps this blend of work and relaxation wrapped into one trip was precisely the respite you needed to unwind.

"I don't know what to say, really. You guys are the best.”

Ella playfully blew a kiss in the air. "Hush, you are the wonderful one here. So, take some well-deserved rest and start packing your bags; Cape Kennedy awaits you!”

Being on a plane seemed unreal, but you were truly leaving your country and gazing at the white clouds below.

You had always harbored a desire to traverse the globe, and thanks to your job, that opportunity was now within your grasp. Andrew, despite crossing paths with him at various social gatherings, never became a close friend. He was, nevertheless, always pleasant to be around and had an undeniably unique sense of style.

The information Ella provided about his requirements and the project were rather vague. All you knew was that he was in need of your design expertise for a task he seemed unable to accomplish on his own. His business was modest in size, with a minimal workforce. He was the sole brain behind every fresh concept, crafting each new article of clothing, which he would also proudly wear himself and display in public.

You were indeed intrigued by this collaboration, as it marked your first venture working side by side with another creative mind.

Soothed by the tranquil hum of the plane, with the gentle white noise permeating the cabin, your eyelids began to droop as you succumbed to sleep. Your head gently swayed to the side, giving a slight bump against the window.

Your body felt weightless, drifting, until the familiar beach in the Dreaming materialized before you. The sea breeze was as enchanting as ever, with its authentic salty aroma pervading the surroundings. You settled onto the sand, the grains soft and shifting around to create an impromptu pillow for you. Your blue gown shimmered like a starlit sky and flowed around your legs.

You had never seen that dress before, it would be wise to remember such a striking garment for inspiration.

Morpheus was absent, but it didn't bother you. You knew that he was still busy with the final refurbishments of his domain, keeping track of all residents and constructing new areas for the humans to revel in. Even in his physical absence, his presence was felt all around. Your Moonstone necklace glowed once more, illuminated by an enchanting blue light that danced in a rhythmic circle.

If only you had an inkling of what was happening before you, in a dream that seemed no different from any other.

A distant figure began to take shape along the seashore, steadily advancing in your direction with a measured stride. The beach land was a private corner of your consciousness, a fragment of the Dream World that Morpheus had set aside exclusively for you. Never had you seen another entity traverse it, other than Morpheus.

As you became engrossed in the vistas of the ocean ahead, a voice emerging beside you caused you to slightly jump.

“Uhm…. hello…?”

You noticed a young girl with an impressive array of black dreadlocks, punctuated by a few strands in gradient hues of blue and lime, standing right beside you. She was dressed in a long-sleeved black pullover with a striped shirt peeking from underneath, complemented by a pair of dark trousers and white sneakers.

She bore a gentle appearance, her face marked by a bewildering expression that was difficult for you to interpret.

Hi," you replied. "May I know who you are?”

After a brief pause, she introduced herself by sharing her name with you. "I'm Rose. Rose Walker."

Rose Walker? How strikingly human a name for a dream, you mused.

Despite your thoughts, you presented a warm smile. "I'm Y/N Y/LN, it's a pleasure to meet you.”

Rose nodded her head, casting a curious glance around. "Where exactly are we?”

How odd…

"This is the Dreaming. Or at least, a portion of it.”

"Wait, am I asleep?”

Was she merely a strange manifestation of your mind, or had another human somehow intersected your dream?

Regardless, you chose to go along with the unfolding scenario.

"Where do you hail from, Rose?”

"I come from New Jersey, but I'm travelling in search of my brother right now.”

A brother? What was going on?

"Do you have any idea where he might be?”

"I actually do. He’s in Florida.”

Florida, go figure.

"I'm sure you will find him, Rose," you said encouragingly, unsure of what else you could possibly say to a figment of your imagination.

The girl’s eyes lingered on the sea line in the horizon. “We got separated a long time ago… and our mother passed away recently.”

Your heart sank. "Oh no... I'm truly sorry.”

"Thanks. We have a great-grandmother now. She's assisting me in my search.”

There was something profoundly unexplainable about the dream you were experiencing. The tale she was recounting, though it could potentially be drawn from your own familial experiences and anxieties, somehow rang incredibly true.

"Family is the most precious thing, isn't it?”

Rose's lips stretched into a soft smile. "It is. I really need to find Jed. Without our mother, I want to be sure he’s okay, look after him.”

"You know, Rose," you began, "One valuable lesson I've gathered is that your tenacity and determination have the power to lead you to any destination.”

More than anything else, this was a deep self-realization.

"If it's your aim to locate your brother, there won't be any hurdle capable of thwarting your efforts.”

After a moment of evident consensus, Rose exhaled deeply, "Not even foster agencies?”

Despite the peculiarity of your dream, you asserted, "Not if you refuse to allow them.”

The girl appeared to ease at your assertion, nodding and letting out another breath. An uncanny ambiance started to envelop the surroundings, contrasting the usual tranquility of the beachfront.

You couldn't quite put it into words, for when you looked at her, you had no negative perceptions whatsoever.

When she joined you on the sand, you had the sensation that a distant rock split in two, but you dismissed it because oftentimes, elements in your dreams could morph into something bizarre for no apparent reason.

And thus, the two of you struck up a friendly conversation, which effortlessly flowed with random talks, jests, and laughter. A sudden impulse to protect her welled up within you, despite the awareness that she wasn't as tangible as you were. But then again, what if she was indeed real?

You inquired about her dreams and ambitions. She wanted to repair what remained of her family, secure a job to support herself and her brother Jed. She aspired to write, to weave a narrative that was uniquely hers to tell.

You became so engrossed in her life's story, that you quickly grew fond of Rose and the purity of her spirit.

Yet, something was amiss. It was as if the Dreaming was crying out in the distance, rumbling and fracturing.

Then, a chorus of assorted voices started to materialize and reverberate around you, signifying that your in-flight nap was nearing its conclusion.

Rose seemed to hear them too, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked around in puzzlement.

"It's been wonderful meeting you, Rose," you expressed, rising from the sandy cushion and allowing the fabric of your celestial dress to billow and expand. The moonstone was radiating intensely, so much so that you momentarily wondered if it carried any special significance.

"Who knows, perhaps our paths will cross again in my dreams?”

Rose said something, but as her lips moved, you couldn't hear any word. The Dreaming became hazy and remote, almost spiraling before it vanished.

Upon opening your eyes, you saw the flight attendant strolling down the aisle, instructing passengers to fasten their seatbelts. As she passed by your row, slowing down slightly, the man in his 50s next to you took off his earbuds, and you immediatly complied with her request despite your drowsiness. Throughout the entire landing phase, you gazed out of the window, despite the slight discomfort of your ears popping and feeling plugged. It was pleasant to watch the water glistening under the sunlight, a sight that transported your thoughts back to the Dreaming, and your intriguing encounter with a gentle, enigmatic girl named Rose Walker.

But why did you sense such apprehension, with a gut feeling of some looming event? While a part of you was tempted to dismiss it as a byproduct of your travel, you were all too familiar with your own instincts.

No, you couldn't let that cloud your mind before you even set foot in Cape Kennedy. What could possibly go wrong?

As soon as you were able to stand up again, you waited patiently for the queue of people disembarking the plane, retrieved your luggage, and expressed gratitude to the flight attendants for their service. Finding yourself in a foreign country was extraordinary, the thrill coursing through you profoundly invigorating.

You made the choice to release all worries, and the unsettling feeling in your stomach receded, making room for optimistic thoughts and anticipations.

Extracting your phone from your bag, you promptly switched off airplane mode and shot a fast text to Andrew to let him know you'd arrived. Given his kindness in offering to pick you up from the airport, you didn't want to keep him waiting any longer than necessary.

With your attention absorbed in the screen, grinning at the cheerful, amusing emoji Andrew sent in response, you failed to spot Rose Walker in the midst of the bustling crowd.

What was supposed to be a business trip was about to unexpectedly evolve into an extremely perilous journey.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 (currently reading) Go to Chapter 17 ->

[nadsdraws]

First lines game

Thanks for the tag @feraltuxedo !

I'm afraid the majority of my fics are now ofmd so not sure if there's anything you'd be interested in 😅

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

Here's mine:

There is something locked in the hold of the ship.

From Riptide [M] - a lowkey edizzy supernatural fic with some horrory vibes and a twist

It’s just another shitty September day in Izzy’s dull, monotonous life.

From September [E] - happy edizzy childhood friends reunion fic with a dash of Ed choosing Izzy over Stede

“We’re here, Iz. We’ve made it. The ocean,” Ed waves his hand in front of the vast body of water in front of them as if in an introduction.

From Knocking on Heaven's Door [T] - an edizzy ficlet - Ed & Izzy find each other at the very end of their lives but that doesn't stop them from enjoying the last moments together

Eden is out cruising like every weekend.

From Princess [E] - happy edizzy getting together fic with transfem Ed and transmasc Izzy

Ed groans, glancing at the script of yet another stupid action movie.

From The Gentleman Unicorn [E] - steddyhands fic with bored action actor Ed, his manager Izzy and their new unicorn Stede

The doorbell to Izzy's flat rings and he promptly answers, as always.

From Piano Lessons [E] - an edizzy age gap fic set at university with professor Izzy and needy student Ed

Izzy leaves his shift late at night, as always.

From Country Roads Take me Home [E] - a cute cjizzy modern au with past edizzy, Jack is a country singer and Izzy works at the bar

Izzy is content, sitting in his favourite chair, eating his perfectly cooked meal in complete silence.

From Where Strawberries Grow [M] - an edizzy ofmd fic set in the Last of Us world (no knowledge of the tv/game is needed)

The first time it happens, Izzy thinks it's going to change everything.

From Different Pulses [E] - an edizzy stripper Ed au containing a lot of pinning, misunderstandings, sexy Ed and a happy ending

As far back as Stede Bonnet can remember, he always wanted to be a biker.

From Open Road [M] - a gentlebeard bikers au with Stede buying a fixer uper bar to insert himself into the bikers community

I've always thought I there are no patterns to my opening lines but the more I look at them the more I see how I like to underline the monotonny and the habits of main characters and starting with their names xD so thanks @feraltuxedo tagging me into this! It was insightful.

I'm gonna tag (if you want to do this, no pressure) @tawnyontumblr @saretton @saz-myhowtheyfly @ewelinakl @sweveris @vexbatch @snae-b @schmirius @redshift-ao3 @starryfull13