#Shelly Screwloose

[jolienjoyswriting]

Purrsuing Pawsibilities (ft. Nane Mau), Ch. I

Chapter 1 of 5 for "Purrsuing Pawsibilities," a Bellville High an I Was a Teenage Monster fan fiction story.

A new sub has come to Bellville High, and with her… a teacher's aide. Lonely werecat Nane Mau is intrigued.

Word count: 3,212 — Character count: 17,930 Drafted: September 14th / 15th / 18th / 25th, 2024 Revised: September 25th / 27th–29th, 2024 —

Hi, I'm back. Miss me~? … hello?

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Nane Mau.  She is the epitome of the "lovable loser" trope. (Or maybe I just relate to her way too hard.)  This girl has captured my heart and possessed me to write a terrible, trashy romance fan fiction story about her. I'm sure Josh is going to be "thrilled" about this.  (,:

Anyway, if you like this story, check out Josh's stuff.  Even if you hate the story, check it out.  I don't even know how I found him, but I'm glad I did! He draws very cute things that I have a great appreciation of. 👍

10/31 Edit: So, the name of the series is "I Was a Teenage Monster", apparently… Well, The More You Know, I guess.

Nane Mau, Renée, Shelly Screwloose, Dimitri Graaf, and "Bellville High" "I Was a Teenage Monster" series and related characters and concepts created by and © joshdamn23

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    On an early morning, some rainy day, a lady was lying on her couch, watching old cartoons on a local channel.  She was laughing loudly and really enjoying herself as she relaxed in her favorite dinosaur pajamas, eating nacho-flavored chips.

    "Mau?"

    The lady looked up from her prone position.  Standing at the end of the couch was her roommate and friend, Renée.  She was dressed in a tank top and sweatpants.

    "Heeey, what's uuup, home slice?" the layabout greeted.     "Uh, hey…" Renée answered, a sound of skepticism in her voice.  "Have you been up all night?  You look terrible."     "Mm-hmm!" Mau proudly answered.  "Been watchin' a Flintstones marathon on the local channel!  Oh— look!  This one's a classic!  Fred got into tinkering with cars and wants to win a race for Pebble and Bamm-Bamm's college tuition.  Look at him go!  He's driving on the wall like it's nothing!!"     As Mau burst into uproarious laughter, Renée just kind of cocked her head.     "Okay, well…" she began, "I'm gonna go do my morning workout.  You should probably get cleaned up."     "You're not the boss of me!" Mau playfully countered with a toothy grin.     "No, but the Superintendent of Bellville is, and I don't think they'd like it if you turned up late for work.  Again."     "Pfft.  Silly Renée!  There's no work on Sunday!"     "No— Mau.  Sunday was yesterday," Renée explained.  "You stayed up all night so today is Monday.  It… would be Monday either way, but—"     "T-today is Monday?"     Mau's golden eyes stared, her creamy fur bristling under her lizard onesie.  She looked genuinely spooked by this revelation.     "Uh, yeah," Renée confirmed.  "Today's Monday and you have work in, like, an hour."     Well, that was all Mau needed to hear.  She let loose a loud expletive and leaped from the couch, throwing chips and cheese dip all over the place.     "H-hey!"     "I'll clean that later!" she yelped at her roomie.  "Sorry!"

    As Mau left the room, Renée stood there in silence, examining the mess.     "That girl…" she sighed, pinching the bridge of her muzzle.  "I swear…"     A moment later, her gaze fell upon the television set.  Her ears perked and her eyes widened, a look of surprise coming over her.     "Oh… hey!  This is a good episode!"     As the previous episode of The Flintstones ended, Renée moved the couch and coffee table, deciding to do her morning calisthenics while watching the old cartoon.  She decided that she, too, would clean the couch later.  It was already covered in stains anyway — what was one or two more? —

    Mau was a feline dervish as she made herself presentable.  A quick shower and change of clothes put the cream-colored cat back in her usual outfit: a sandy skirt, blue T-shirt, and comfy letterman jacket.  She accessorized with her segmented belt and collar, put a snake charm earring behind her right ear, then started to apply her makeup — eyeshadow under the eyes with a cute little curly mark at the corner — all the while grumbling at herself for being so careless.

    I can't believe I lost track of time like that! she thought as she drew on her face.  Actually… yes, I can.  I'm always screwin' around when I should be doing things.  But, damn it, I'm a grown-up and I deserve to be able to screw around!     She nodded to herself in affirmation.     Yeah.  Yeah, everyone else takes things too seriously!  They need to lighten up—     Another expletive passed her lips followed by a hiss.  She'd jabbed herself in the eye with the eyeliner pencil.     "Stupid makeup!" she snapped, throwing the marker in a snit.  "No, wait—!"     She reached for the marker, jamming her hand on the sink's smooth surface.  Alas, she was too late.  The thing had gone down the drain and was probably sitting in the bend of the pipe.  Three more expletives came out of her mouth and she kicked the cabinet, screaming as she jammed her toes.  Not long after, she hopped around the bathroom holding her injured foot.     "Why you…!"     Once the pain subsided, she stood on her good foot and started to swing toward the cabinet again!  However… she stopped short before standing up straight.     "No," she told herself with a sigh.  "You can smash the cabinet door later."     With that decision, she retrieved another pencil, finished her makeup, fixed her outfit, and headed back into the living room.

    As Mau re-entered the main area of the apartment, her ears picked up on the sound of Renée giggling about something.     "What's so funny, Née?" she asked.     Mau quickly noted that her roommate was seated on a clean part of the couch, watching The Flintstones with amusement.     "Hee hee hee!  Wow, Fred and Barney can't sing!" she replied, giggling all the more.     "Oh!  I love this episode!"     Mau leaped over the back of the couch, sat down, and… splat!     "What the f—"     She quickly stood back up, raising a leg and looking down.  Renée covered her mouth, staring with surprise.  There was a long strand of cheese dip stretched from the couch cushion to Mau's butt and, though she couldn't see it, a new sizeable stain on the back of her skirt.     "What in the—?!  Who left cheese dip on the freaking couch?!"     Renée's hands slid down to her collarbone.  She was trying not to laugh at this point, but she also felt bad for Mau, who was trying to rub the cheese off her backside.

    The rest of the early morning was spent cleaning the spilled chips and cheese dip off the couch, ensuring that no one would sit in a mess again.  Until next time.

    "Gods…  You'd think today was Friday the 13th or something, given my morning…"

    With the couch cleaned, Renée and Mau headed into the latter's room.  They were looking for a clean pair of pants she could borrow.     "Maybe someone put a curse on you?" Renée offered, still holding back a fit of giggles over the "cheese incident".     "It wouldn't surprise me…"  The black-haired lady sighed.  "Well, anyway… thanks for letting me borrow some pants, roomie."     The roommate nodded before idly commenting, "We should probably do laundry this weekend…  We're both getting low on clean clothes."     "Tell you what…"  Mau smiled, slipping into a pair of black yoga pants.  "I'll pay for the wash cycle, this weekend."     The white cat's face showed strong disbelief.  Her roommate had some nerve…  For better or worse, Mau seemed to misread this as appreciation.     "No, no, it's the least I can do for the best roomie in the world!" she laughed.     "I… thaaanks?" was what Renée decided to say.  Her roommate was trying… in more ways than one.

    Once the clothing issue was sorted, the two returned to the living room.  As Mau got ready, Renée looked at the stains on the couch again.     "You know, you should really stop eating on the couch…" she suggested.     "But, how else am I gonna watch The Flintstones while I eat nacho chips?" was Mau's answer.  "Besides, I've seen the way you rip through sushi while sittin' there!"     Renée blushed a little.  Rather than get angry, though, she tried to be understanding.     "Sorry…" she quietly responded, her ears curling back.  "I—"     "Hey, hey, hey…  It's okay."     Renée blinked a couple of times as she got a pat on the head from her roommate.     "Everyone has their quirks, right?" Mau offered with a chipper smile.  "Yours is sushi, and mine is…"     She paused for a second, her ears flicking and tail twitching.  Her mind was reeling with all the "quirks" she had — many of which she was self-conscious of, thanks to other people.

    "A-anyway!" she started again, "the couch is clean… er.  I'm dressed.  And… what time is it?"     "Oh, it's—"     "Scarabs!!"     Renée's fur bristled as Mau shouted.  She looked stressed again.     "I gotta get the heck outta Dodge, Née!" she said before breaking into a fast jog across the room.  "Have a great day and all that!  'Bye!!"

    Mau ran out the front door, slamming it behind her.  Not a second later, she burst back inside and ran over to Renée.  As expected, she was holding Mau's purse and smirking.     "Stop that," Mau said, wearing her own smirk.  "Thank you."     Renée's eyes rolled upward and her smirk became a grin.  "Mm-hmm."     With that, Mau slung her purse over her shoulder and ran back outside… only to come back in another second after.     "What'd you forget now?" Renée teased.     "This."     The white cat's blue eyes widened as Mau gave her a quick hug.     "Thanks for putting up with me."     Renée softly nodded, a blush barely visible under her fur.  She smiled, though.

    "Alright, 'bye for real now!"     For the third time, Mau ran out the door, shutting it loudly.  She didn't run back inside this time.  However…     "Gah!!"     She wound up garroting herself with her purse strap, the bag getting caught in the door.  Just another typical morning for her…

    Eventually, Mau did manage to get on her way.  She ran to the nearest bus stop and, luckily, managed to catch it just in time.  She flashed her pre-paid bus pass through the scanner and quickly found a seat.  There was an amusing irony about a teacher like her taking a bus to school, just like her students…  Less amusing was the fact that the Bellville High wouldn't spring for bus fair for any of the faculty… not that anyone else actually needed it.  As far as Mau knew, she was the only staff member from Bellville High who used public transport to get around.

    Part of that was because she didn't own a car.  Not since the twelve-car pile-up she was part of, anyway…  She also didn't make enough money to actually buy or even lease another one.  Cars were prohibitively expensive… especially for someone who likes spending a lot of money on junk food and random impulse buys.  She always made sure she could cover her half of the bills, though!  Mostly!  Sometimes.  Usually…     Part of it was also because nobody wanted to carpool with her.  Most of her work friends were pretty set in their ways and no one lived near enough to her to swing by.  She joked about what a "lame excuse" that was, but she knew gas was pretty pricey, too.  She could probably afford to kick in for gas… but did she really want to?  Probably not.     Lastly, and most embarrassingly… Mau had her driver's license suspended due to the aforementioned accident.  She was the cause.  Now, that happened a while back and she could have gotten her licensed reinstated, but naaah.  She figured that if she needed to get anywhere fast, she could always bum a ride from her roomie.  Otherwise, she was in no real hurry… most of the time.  That morning, however, she needed to expedite her travels and get to school.  Unfortunately, something was preventing her from getting there.

    "Road work?!"

    Mau stood at the front of the bus, staring out the windshield with anger.  Laying ahead was a whole heap of cars and trucks all packed into one lane of traffic.  This was because the other lane — the one going toward town — was shut down and being repaired.  And this, of course, meant that she and the other passengers on the bus were going nowhere fast.

    "Siddown, miss," the driver told Mau as she leaned on the token taker.     "No, you don't understand!" she countered, looking distressed.  "I need to get to Bellville High!  I teach history there, and—"     "Lady, I don't care if you teach orphans how to do basic math!" the gruff driver snapped.  "Sitcher ass down whilst the bus is in motion!  Capisce?"     Mau looked at the driver with disbelief, mouth hanging open.  Sure, the engine was running, but the bus was very clearly stuck in traffic.     "Lemme out," she flatly countered.     "Lady, I can't do that," was his response to that.  "The bus is— hey!!"     "Sorry!" she half-heartedly apologized, yanking the door lever and opening the door.     "Get back on the damn bus!!" the driver shouted from his vehicle.  "I could get in trouble!  I'll… I'll have you banned, ya know!!"     Mau wasn't listening.  She had broken into a full sprint, umbrella out as her paws carried her as fast as they could toward the school… which was still a couple of miles away.  Through rain and wind.  Damn it.

    The run from the street corner to the school was quite a trek.  It took Mau about forty minutes' travel time — partly because she wasn't in the best physical condition, and partly because she'd slipped and fallen a couple of times.  When she arrived, she was gasping and heaving for air, her hair disheveled, and her clothes and fur wet in places.

    "Oh.  Hey, teach'."

    As Mau leaned on a bike rack to catch her breath, she heard a familiar voice.  Looking over, she saw the green-skinned, red-headed form of Shelly Screwloose — one of her students — standing there.

    "What happened to you?" Shelly asked with concern.  "You look like death warmed over!  I'd know.  Yesterday, I was workin' on this experiment with—"     "Water!"     "What?  No.  More like melted-down—"     "Water!" Mau repeated in a wheeze.  "Please…!"     "Oh, you want some water!"  Shelly laughed.  "Well, you're just in luck!"     With a grin and a wink, she reached into her long jacket and withdrew a corked tube of some kind of blue liquid.     "I just happen to have my latest experiment with me!" she continued.  "See, I—"     "Gimme!"     The synthoid girl blinked as her teacher snatched the vial out of her hands.  She then watched as Ms. Mau chugged the thing down in a series of loud gulps.

    "Pwah…!"

    Once emptied of its contents, Mau returned the vial and offered a tired smile.     "Th-thanks…  I feel better already!  Kinda tart, though…"     The teacher paused, her fur beginning to bristle.     "Wait, what was in that tube?" she asked tensely.     "Blueberry juice."     "Bl… blueberry juice?"  Mau blinked.  "Wait, just normal blueberry juice?"     "More or less!" Shelly laughed.  "I mean, it had some electrolytes 'n stuff in it.  Coach cut me a deal, see…"     "A… a deal?" the teacher asked, cocking her head.     "Yeah!" Shelly responded with another laugh.  "Coach said if I made something good for the team, I'd get a guaranteed A+ without even doin' Gym Class!  It's a win-win for everyone!"     "I… see."     Mau chuckled a little before she smiled.     "Well, I feel refreshed, so I'd say you're doing a good job!  Thanks, Shelly!"     "Yeah, sure…"     Shelly drew a notepad and a pen from another pocket.     "Any weird aftertaste?" she inquired.  "Do you feel anything weird in your gastrointestinal tract?  Any heart murmurs?"     Mau stiffened up.  "What."     At that, Shelly just offered a mysterious smile, patiently waiting for an answer.

    Mau walked into the school after a short survey about her student's "blueberry juice"  and headed to the teacher's lounge.  Normally, she would have had a coffee with creamer, but after all the weird questions that self-proclaimed "alchemist" student of hers asked, she thought it would be best to just stick with water.  While she was drinking, though, she saw a familiar face wander in.  It was Dimitri Garrf, the school counselor and a good work friend of hers.  He was looking as semi-professional as ever in his gray vest, slacks, and pressed white shirt.

    "Hey, Mau!" the wolfman greeted.     "Hey," she answered with a nod and a smile.     "Good weekend?"     "You know me, I'm always keepin' busy!" she half-lied.     "Hey, that's great to hear!"      The man got himself some coffee.  He liked it black, Mau noted.

    "So, did you get the e-mail about the sub?" he asked before taking a sip.     "The what?" she answered between gulps of water.     "The sub," he patiently repeated.  "The English teacher is out for a couple of weeks, so we're getting a temporary replacement!"     Mau tilted her head.  "Really?  Huh."     "Yeah…"     Mau noted that there was a hint of apprehension in his words.

    "No one knows anything about her," was the next thing Dimitri mentioned.     "What?  Why not?" the cat lady answered.     "Well, she's not from around here, for one," he explained.  "She just kind of arrived on-demand, I've heard…"     "How mysterious!"     The wolfman grinned as Mau made a grand gesture and smiled.  He liked her silly antics.     "That's one way to put it," he offered with a chuckle.  "But, what's really weird is that she brought her own assistant."     "A teacher's aide?" she asked as she worked on her tenth paper cone of water.  "That is pretty odd.  I've never heard of a substitute teacher having a teacher's aide…"     "I know, right?"  He chuckled again.  "I asked around and I think they're a sister-brother team.  Not sure.  But, I guess we'll see later today!"     "A sister-brother team…?"     Mau paused to ponder that possibility.  Specifically, she pondered the possibility of asking the sub's aide out.     If this new sub has a brother… and the brother isn't ugly or smelly… she thought, maybe I can make this work.  It'd be nice to date a guy who doesn't have any expectations of me.     The lady quietly sipped her eleventh cup of water, a cat-like grin forming on her lips.

    "Anyway," the counselor continued after finishing his coffee, "I just figured I'd ask and see if you knew anything.  See you at lunch, Mau!"     "Not if I see you, first!"     He laughed.  "Right!"     As he left, Mau took a twelfth cup of water, her tail swaying as she continued to think about the sub's aide.  Excitement built inside her at the thought of some handsome guy from far away arriving at the school.  Something else swelled inside, too.     "Crap, I gotta pee!"     With that declaration, she escaped the teacher's lounge, eager to start her day properly… among other things.

    While her morning had been full of excitement and typical bad luck, the day proceeded pretty calmly.  She taught one of her classes about Ancient Egypt — specifically about the pharaohs and other royalty.  When she made note of how cats were basically gods in that culture, one student smartly asked, "And what are you the god of?  Being lame?"  Laughter filled the classroom as she sent that student — a regular troublemaker — out.     The next class was a little more interested in what she had to say about Iceland and Greenland, asking a lot of questions she didn't know the answer to.  She did her best to try and act like she did, though no one was fooled as she "subtly" asked her phone for answers.  Still, they were a lot more respectful than the previous class, which made her happy.     One last class went by in a flash with Mau resuming a lesson about United States presidents.  There was a disagreement between two groups about the way some presidents ran the country, but luckily, a particular student moderated the impromptu debate.  She was kind of a "teacher's pet" and didn't care if anyone knew it, but Mau tried not to give her special treatment.  She did thank her student, however.  Shortly after, the bell rang; it was lunchtime.