#She went 'lemme laugh. Can't I laugh? 🤨'

[akqrus]

Hahahahhahaha what if I gave up on the one thing I've been working for the past 4 years, Bc I might never be able to develop my art skills and become worthy of being called an "artist"?? Hahahahhahahahahahahhahahhaa

[world-of-fire-and-flight]

C'mon now, Baron's not that bad, just give the poor former villain a chance, Supes 😢

Superhero, while running in the opposite direction to avoid the immediate confrontation of my keyboard smacking into their face: NEVER!

That's spot on! Can Baron read minds? 🤯

I've been banned from writing characters with telekinesis, so no. But he is electrokinetic!😇

Does Superhero like "save me from myself" fiction? 👀 Fun if their favorite character is exactly like Baron 😂

WELL THEY DO NOW! I can't wait for the irony to hit them in the gut😈

Also, those two talking - about their crushes like they're at a sleepover XD Starting their roommate BFF vibes strong!

With any luck these two actually become friends by the end of this. I think that'll have to be the plot's doing, you know the plot, the plot revolving around the mole, that plot🤣

That's quite the... fun name! :-D Could be a good name for a brand of spy themed crackers! "Everything is going according to plan, now open the safe, Polly." "No!" *sigh* "Does Polly want a VaultCracker3000? "Yes!" "Open the safe first, Polly." *sigh* Polly gets off their perch and disables the alarm system, cracks the safe, opens the door "Good, except... Polly always wants two crackers, you're not the real Polly! Tell us where the real Polly is, you lying egg of a cockatoo!" Polly: *squints their eyes and removes their disguise*

OMG🤣 SEND HELP I'VE LAUGHED SO HARD I'M DYING! Yeah I didn't know how to name his thingamabob so I went with the old staple and called it a day

(The old staple: simple name + 3000. Idk why the number is 3000 but it's a running gag in cartoons I think??? Idk I got it from somewhere LOL)

*blinking man meme* 🤨 You what? 😳 Really? Really really? Well, that's... new information... 👀

..........was that a headcanon I forgot to make canon????? Whoops. Either way it's canon now and YES YES YES HE DID! We're talking about the same Villain who gave lollipops to the children present at the bank robbery. Baron's such a sap at heart and I 100% support it....even though he literally could've just showed up at Mirth's apartment anytime with cupcakes but noooOOOooo he needed a "reason" (and probably didn't want to cause her more problems considering the fact that she was suspended for their whole Christmas thing)

But now's your chance to apologize and turn over a new leaf! 🍃💞 You'll get rid of those bad villain habits and form new, more heroic ones in no time! Like listening to cryptid podcasts on long drives lol

YES! Okay but lemme just run a thing by you: Supes and Baron become friends and after all the house arrest and community service stuff is done and Baron's officially reformed or whatever, THEY START THEIR OWN CRYPTID SEARCH AND DOCUMENT IT ON A VLOG/PODCAST!!!👽

(I'd like to go on record as saying that I don't listen to podcasts, though a friend will send me one about big foot every now and then and if I'm not doing anything yeah I'll listen to it but I'm also really good at zoning out so I miss 90% of it anyway.)

Well, Supes did ask you if you liked cryptid podcasts. Maybe they'll listen of you ask them to change it?

Baron, fifteen minutes (give or take) after asking Supes to turn the radio on: FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY CAN YOU PLEASE PUT ON SOMETHING ELSE? HOW LONG CAN ONE PERSON TALK ABOUT THE ANATOMY OF A CHUPACABRA?

Supes: You haven't heard anything yet. This guy once had a whole rant about Jupiter's red spot and how it's a government cover up for NASA.

Baron: Wait what? That's...I don't think that's possible....

Supes: He was actually pretty convincing. But yeah I'm not really listening either. *turns on something that's objectively worse than a cryptid podcast*

Baron: *internal screaming, possibly tearing up in frustration*

Supes: *humming along and eventually starts singing along off key even though they can actually sing*

(Yes I did just decide that Supes is a good singer. Dunno what that fun fact's actually gonna do for me, but it's there now😂

Uhhhh— my mind is going places and making predictions and I don't like it 😰

Yeah same! I haven't really decided Baron's backstory yet but it's ✨tragic✨

Speak for yourself! I've been on long car rides before (30mins is nothing though, like, really, it's pocket change) and poor Baron is handcuffed too?!?!?! I thought it was just one of his hands but it seems like both? Can he even lie down in the backseat? Gosh, I'm just feeling so sorry for him Not Super though, they're being a very big dingle (*audience gasps and covers their ears and looks at me offendedly* me: I'm sorry, sorry! ☹️)right now and they better up their game if they want me to like them again :/ Give Baron a neck pillow or something! I'm just so concerned for this former criminal! Oof, I hate uncomfortable car rides so much! (Yes, I know you meant long as in the annoying way, but if it feels physically long too then oof 😣)

I'm thinking this car ride is at least an hour and a half, maybe longer like two and a half only because they have to get from the city out to the backwoods which means going through suburbia/ubran outskirts and that's just without traffic. (Though I completely agree with you: their ride isn't really all that long. Anything less than 8 hours is nothing to me anymore.)

Baron absolutely deserves to be treated better! Petition for Superhero to throw protocol out the window (as they're prone to do anyway) and let Baron enjoy the road trip!

I liked the change of POV! 🤩 You're right, Mirth deserves the rest, and it was fun reading these two's thoughts!

Mirth: *took a long bath* *put her favorite pair of pjs on* *bundled herself up in bed* *hasn't moved since*

She'll probably order take out and then go straight back to her bed and not move again, just relishing in her freedom.

I'd also like to imagine that she has a fleeting thought about Baron and Supes that basically boils down to: "Gee, I hope they're getting along okay....but if one of them kills the other I won't have to be caught between them for three years so......maaaaaaayyybbbeeeee...." *immediately feels guilty and checks her phone to see if there's a message from Supes*

Mirth's Ebenezer: Part 8

A/N: Okay so after taking a little break from this and planning some things out in my head, I decided to switch up the POV a little bit to give Mirth the rest she deserves. Enjoy!

Warnings: Swearing, competitive nature, insecurity, bickering, manipulation, reference to past bank robbery, reference to self-harm/self-destruction because Baron’s bored, one joke about torture

My Masterlist | Mirth’s Ebenezer series masterlist | Taglist Info

Superhero’s jaw clenched as they pulled away from the front curb of Mirth’s apartment building. Thankfully, Baron remained silent in the back seat, focused solely on their ice cream. They hoped he didn’t get any on the seat, or that they’d have interact much at all. Superhero could deal with getting ice cream stains out of the cloth seats if it meant they didn’t have to speak to Baron in the interim.

Focused on the road ahead, Superhero’s grip tightened on the steering wheel with each scrape of Baron’s spoon against the bottom of his ice cream dish. Gritting their teeth, Superhero attempted to tune the noise out, but unfortunately it just wasn’t possible in the utter silence of the truck.

They missed Mirth.

At least with Mirth around they wouldn’t be suffering alone…Or really at all. Mirth was a good friend, even at her grumpiest—a fact Superhero had learned during her unofficial house arrest over the last few weeks. They never imagined there were things about their dearest friend and colleague that they didn’t already know, and yet the universe had proven them wrong. Mirth couldn’t sleep without the sound of a T.V. or podcast playing in the background. She used up all the hot water whenever possible. She always smelled like cinnamon, something they hadn’t noticed until they’d face planted into their couch after one particularly rough patrol and caught a whiff of the warm scent. At first they hadn’t known Mirth was the reason for the mysterious appearance of the cinnamon scent and it drove them crazy for days as they started to smell it more and more. They only realized it was Mirth when they were sitting beside her in the courtroom. For weeks, the source of the phantom scent had evaded them, tickling their nose with forgotten memories and comfort, only to lead them to Mirth.

It wasn’t fair.

“Jeez, you’re gonna scare the devil with a scowl like that,” Baron said, breaking Superhero from their thoughts. “I mean honestly, Supe, I haven’t even done anything and you’re already angry.”

“I’m not angry,” Superhero said through gritted teeth. Their eyes flicked to Baron in the rearview mirror only to find that he was staring out the window at the waning cityscape. “You’re just annoying.”

Baron chuckled. “Yeah sure, blame the innocent bystander. You just miss Mirth and don’t want to be stuck with me.”

“I don’t miss Mirth,” Superhero grumbled. Again, Superhero’s eyes flicked to their rearview mirror. This time, Baron was staring right back at them with a smirk on his face. They focused back on the changing road in the hopes that that was the end of it all. The last thing Superhero needed was some wants-to-be-reformed villain meddling in their personal business.

“So you look at all of your colleagues with hearts in your eyes?”

Superhero’s lips pursed. “I don’t look at Mirth with heart eyes.”

“Yeah okay,” Baron laughed. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“And what about you?” Superhero nearly hissed, merging lanes to get on the highway.

Baron’s cuffs clinked. Superhero quickly glanced at them again to make sure they hadn’t managed to weasel their way out of them, but instead they’d found that Baron had shifted, angling himself more toward the window with his back mostly to their side of the truck.

“What about me?”

Superhero smirked. So they had struck a nerve.

“Like you don’t look at Mirth with pleading, ‘please save me from myself’ eyes,” Superhero explained. “It’s no secret that Mirth has a good heart. What’s to say you aren’t using that to manipulate her?”

“I’m not!” The cuffs clinked again. Superhero glanced back just in time to see Baron jerk forward and lean over the center console, straining to stretch his arms far enough from where the cuffs held him by the door to actually do so. “Mirth is the last person who deserves to be used like that.”

“Oh, so you admit that there’s people you would manipulate then?”

“That’s not—” Baron sputtered. “I didn’t say that! I just meant that Mirth deserves better than that, no wait that’s not any better…”

He huffed, falling back in the seat with an oof. “You’re a real jackass, you know that?”

“It’s part of my job description,” Superhero smiled secretly to themselves.

Baron didn’t respond. A quick glance back at them in the rearview mirror proved that he’d withdrawn into himself with a scowl on his face.

Good. Now Superhero could focus on the truly important things like getting to the safe house in one piece, getting to the safe house without actually killing Baron in the process, and—arguably the most important thing—figuring out if they really stared at Mirth longingly.

~

Did he manipulate Mirth?

He hadn’t meant to, but damn it, if Superhero’s words hadn’t wormed their way into his insecurities. Of all the people Baron had hurt or manipulated or let down, he hoped Mirth wasn’t one of them. He really hadn’t meant to if that’s what happened.

Trapped by his spiraling thoughts, Baron’s leg bounced absentmindedly.

Mirth was the reason why he was getting this second chance at all. She’d told him exactly what to do that night after the bank robbery. He’d only gone to apologize because he knew he’d screwed up trying to get her to open the bank vault for him…even though he easily managed to do it himself thanks to the VaultCracker3000. All he’d really wanted that day was to see her again because—well, because he’d enjoyed spending Christmas with her. It was the first time in a long time that he’d been around someone who’d made him feel like he belonged. Yes, he considered his henchmen to be friends, but they were his subordinates. They treated him like a boss. And the other villains? The morally corrupt or questionable vigilantes?

Hanging around them only led to more trouble than it was worth or worse: a fight to the death for the other had.

But that Christmas…after so many alone and angry…

Mirth had gotten suspended because of that night, because of him. And then he’d schemed the bank robbery just to see her again (and because his henchmen were getting anxious since they hadn’t done anything big in months)…

“Can you please turn on some music or something?” Baron whined. His stomach clenched, rolling over itself in discontent as the realization that he had manipulated Mirth sank into him.

“Good idea,” Superhero muttered. Clearing their throat as if Baron wasn’t supposed to hear the compliment, Superhero asked a little louder, “You like cryptid podcasts?”

“At this rate I’d take a description of watching paint dry over being left alone with only your company,” Baron said.

“I hear that’s how Supervillain tortures those who betray him.” Superhero reached for their phone in the center console’s cupholder and began to fiddle with it.

“Whoa,” Baron said, “I am not dying in this beat up truck because you’d don’t have hands-free. Give me that!”

“Piss off!” Superhero said. “I’m not letting you of all people near my phone!”

“I could fry it,” Baron hissed.

“You could,” Superhero hummed, meeting their eye in the rearview mirror as they laughed, “but not with that power-suppressant on your ankle.”

The radio crackled to life with the ominous soundtrack of whatever podcast Superhero had put on as the host welcomed their listeners and introduced their topic of the day.

Baron gritted his teeth. “I could fry that too if I wanted to.”

“Go ahead,” Superhero dared. “Prove me right.”

Inhaling deeply, Baron forced himself to ignore Superhero. Closing his eyes, he resolved to pretend that they weren’t even there for however long this ride lasted. But as the podcast host droned on and on about the anatomy of a Chupacabra, Baron wanted to smash his head against the window.

“Are we there yet?”

“No.”

Baron pursed his lips. “Are we at least close?”

Superhero didn’t answer right away, allowing Baron to hear the podcast host conclude their monologue and launch into a fresh one on the regions where Chupacabra sightings have occurred. “Thirty minutes, give or take.”

“Fantastic,” Baron muttered. Opening his eyes for a moment, Baron peeked outside the window to see that the urban highway had given way to a woodland lined road. They weren’t sure if it counted as a highway, but at the speed Superhero was driving it might as well have been.

Shutting his eyes once again, Baron shifted until he was as comfortable as he could be with his hands chained to the handhold beside the door. Resignation flooded him for the first time since his Rogue Trial—or rather the verdict.

He knew fresh starts and atoning for his sins would be difficult, but he hadn’t imagined he’d have to do it under the watchful eye of someone as annoying and critical as Superhero. Being rid of their company was almost worth returning to villainy. But he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t throw away this chance.

This time, he would take it and hold on no matter how difficult it was to keep his grasp. He wouldn’t let a better life slip through his fingers again, as he had so many times before. If not for himself, then for Mirth, so that her kindness wasn’t in vain.

Superhero was just another obstacle. And as far as obstacles go, Baron grimaced, he’d faced worse. Much, much worse than a cranky cape with a sense of snark. If snark was all he had to put up with, then he would gladly resign himself to it if it meant not ever facing something worse ever again.

Taglist: @feline17ff, @selene-stories, @kaiwewi