#She may still be too damageda at this point and thats okay

[nikki-rook]

Castle Ficlet: The first I love you

During the night between Always and After the Storm

Kate shuffled under the comfy white blanket, turning to her side, her eyes fluttering open. Castles eyes looked back at her. A soft smile spread across her face.

“Hi” she whispered.

“Hi” he whispered back. A smile touching his lips as his body visibly relaxed back into the pillows and sheets.

“Have you been watching me sleep?” she asked, biting her bottom lip a little in embarrassment.

“I um... yeah.” He mumbled. He squeezed her hand, and she realized he had been holding it this whole time, gently. His thumb circling the top of her hand, gently playing with her fingers. His eyes glanced down, almost embarrassingly and she squeezed his fingers.

“What?” she asked, ducking her head a little to meat his gaze.

He let out a little breath disguised as a laugh. “I feel like if I take my eyes off you, I’ll look back and you won’t be there.” He brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them.

Concern crossed her eyes, she let go of his hand, shuffled the blankets, and scooted closer to him. Kissing his chest, she looked up at him, his piercing eyes so bright in the darkness.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She said, firmly, so he would believe it. “I love you, Castle.” She could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Grabbing her shoulders, he slid back to make some space between them.

“You love me?” he asked, his voice cracking. Surprise in his eyes, Kate reached up to his face, brushing his hair back, smiling at him with that mysterious look she always had. Castle realized in this moment that look, that glow in her eyes, it was love.

“After all this time, you think I didn’t?” She asked. She leaned her body into his, kissing him on the lips, her hands on his face. She took the moment of silence after the kiss to nuzzle herself into his arms. The feeling of safety she never knew she needed, his warm arms engulfing her, his chin resting on the top of her head.

“I guess…” he sighed, at a loss for words, which was still an unfamiliar feeling even though it happened quite a lot with her. “I guess I had just convinced myself over the last month that you didn’t. I was trying to come to peace with that. And that was okay.” He paused as she squeezed him a little bit tighter.

“Rick, I’m so sorry.” She whispered into his chest. She could feel him shaking his head, he pulled them apart for just a moment to look in her eyes.

“I love you Kate, none of that matters anymore.” He kissed her, long and slow. “You’ve healed all those wounds in an instance with those words.” He smiled, and she smiled bigger now, swatting his shoulder.

“So cheesy.” She laughed, and he laughed too, pulling her close, tucking the blankets up around them both.

“Cheesy, but true.” He said. And they both lay there, feeling each others breathing, the calm, comfortable, familiar presence of each other lulling them back to sleep.

Neither of them stirred until Kate woke to the light peeking through the window, quietly detangling herself from his arms so she could slip away and make them coffee.

Now that we know those words crossed Kates lips many times before Still, I like to think it happened this night. That she said it, that she felt it, that she meant it. Maybe its too early, too quick for our damaged girl. But she definitely knew. She went to his door with all of the love in her heart. And him confirming that it wasn't a dream wasn't so much about the whole night, but about that moment, in the middle of the night when she said those words. So I felt the need to write this quick little moment.