#She Li's parents cuz I mentioned them in the entirety of this post

[aquanology]

SHE LI ANALYSIS CAUSE I CAN!!! (THANKS FOR 50+ FOLLOWERS AND NO THERE'S NOTHING MISSING IN HERE ITS 50+)

Yo so I've reached 50 followers a long while ago and I wanted to do something big but I hesitated and didn't know what to do...I thought a lot about it and it's here. The long awaited She li analysis, I was waiting for the new chapter so I can make this. Anyways I hope you enjoy it (or maybe not?)

So from far away people wo see She li as a Bully Mo and when they learn that his family posses good amounts of money, everyone would see him as a rich brat and I wouldn't blame them, Though that's not all there's to it. it's much deeper and yes I have 5000 IQ how did you know?

Now his childhood wasn't that great looking at how he was surrounded by maids and not his parents most of the time, mostly because they were busy working and when they weren't busy doing work they would be busy arguing about things that little She li didn't know much about.

It was pretty lonely even if people would surround him be it the maids, the other adults or even other kids he wasn't getting the attention of his parents. He might've thought that he wasn't important enough for his parents to spare a moment or two to spend time with him or atleast for his parents to look at his way. He hated their noisy fights and so, like any kid who didn't want to listen to his parent's loud arguments!that might've seemed like a broken record for him at the time, he would go outside to distracte himself. I don't know how many times he had to do this to ignore the pain that his parent's loud fighting has been causing to him, and I don't know how long he spent his time doing that (probably as long as the fighting continued) but I'm pretty sure that what we saw from She Li's flashback wasn't his first time doing so. And I'm sure he was trying to inflict physical pain so he can forgot the mental pain. At that point little She Li might've felt a bit...empty because no one really seemed to genuinely care for him or spend time with him and he didn't seem to have a special relationship with anyone either, he might've felt like he wasn't a human because of all of that.... he might've been sad and angry that he can't experience love and affection perhaps he thought that it's his fault for feeling down all the time, when in reality it was his parents fault for not using the spare time they have for providing She Li with affection and quality time instead of arguing most of the time. I'm sure he felt less of person because he didn't get what he really needed as a kid. But little did She Li know that he will feel less of human the next time his parents argue loudly.

That had started with the routine of his parents fighting and She Li looking for something to distract himself with, he ended up digging for worms and I suspect that he did that for a long while that day in which might've explain the bleeding. Later on he got diagnosed with Guillain-Barre' (Ghee-Yan Bah-Yan) syndrome this syndrome is a autoimmune type, in which a persons own immune system damages the nerves causing muscle weakness or paralysis, it can cause symptoms that last from few weeks to several years however most people recover fully while some have permanent nerve damage.

His thoughts were seemingly messy I wouldn't blame him if he still thought that his parents didn't care about him, I mean it was kind of their fault for not asking about what he does when playing outside or with whom, or for the least bit leaving a maid or two to check on him from time to time. But it was that day when he met a certain person in that hospital.

It was Mo Guan Shan that he saw at the hospital. A kid who was capable of feeling pain both physical and mental, not only that but he has a caring mother who seemed to care about her kid. At that moment She Li must've felt envious, a kid whom he didn't know had everything that She li didn't, he had the ability to feel pain and suffer and on top of that he had someone who cared about him who loved him and gave him attention when he needed it the most.

Perhaps She Li thinks that if Mo Guan Shan would become a happier and a healthier person then he would be superior to She Li, because then he would have something that is far away from She Li's reach and capability.

That's why he keeps on hurting Mo over and over again whenever Mo is feeling better or even worse. Maybe She li feels superior or on the same level as Mo when he stops him from feeling truly happy and at peace with his loved ones. As if only then the gap will become bigger than it was before. Because She Li thinks that he won't be able to be the same as Mo is, I mean he might get his syndrome treated and he might be able to feel the pain (both physical and mental) but She Li isn't sure of he can actually be truly loved or if he will be capable of loving and making someone as happy. And that is why he says things like this:

Of course it's not only to make Mo feel bad (cuz like no would want to be told that they are the same as She Li is) but to also make himself feel like they are the same (be it on the same level or the same type of people) when they are not.

I do think that She Li admires Mo for how human he is and he doesn't want him to be anymore of a human he wants Mo to be the same as him, someone who can't have anyone care about him, someone who might numb out and stop being a human for their own desires and someone who can be as hurt and heartless as She Li is regarding that he is hurt inside. I also think that She Li and He tian are similar I mean both of them were not met with love and affection from their family except He Cheng tried to rub the illusion of their fathers love on He tian, though it didn't work quite well. A relationship where you have to sacrifice everything to receive approval isn't and wouldn't be ideal from He tain's perspective, as well as She Li never talk about how he felt (he most likely didn't) the pain that he got from his parents inability to raise him properly like other parents do (by loving him and spending some time with him). However I'm not blaming everything on his parents they had their reasons yet that doesn't mean that it's justified to argue outloud most of the time and pay less attention for your kid than you with your job and arguments. Also I want to make that this post isn't here to justify She Li's bad actions against other people but to just look at him as something other than a snake, to look at him as a human and to hold accountable are both as important as the other is, and I don't want She Li to just have his actions bite him back but to also learn how bad his actions are. I want him to know very well that he hurt others and I want him to feel guilty and I want him to change, remember staying ignorant can not only hurt him but everyone else but learning where he made mistakes and holding himself accountable can help everyone not only the people hurt by him, us too will highly benefit.

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Hey so this is me- the present me since I don't do this all in one day (cuz I'm a lazy person) so I hope ypu enjoyed this analysis and I hope I made it clear enough that this isn't for justifieing She Li's actions but an attempt to try and understand him. Also I'm sorry cuz I made a post a long while ago about She li and I though he had a different illness than the one in the manhua and I linked a website for that illness, however I deleted the post and I apologize for the big mistake...

This is the link for She Li's actual syndrome if you want to know more about it.

Anyways this was my "Why is She Li a bitch" post- wait, shit this the wrong script...welp can't change it now I guess. Again thank you for 50+ followers stay healthy and don't be a bitch like She Li.

[summercurial]

omg!!!! just had a really good like....24 hr date. okay so his name is mark he's really handsome (he kind of looks like jamie dornan? ill ask him if i can post a pic sometime) and he's about my height and hes got big biceps and hairy arms and stubble and...omg he's jsut...very attractive. i really like looking at his face. he's a broker at his dad's like, finance comapny, a bit of a cringe nepotism moment but glass houses, also like. who is he disadvantaging, other finance dudes? who care. so anyway. he has a bunch of money ha. he has a nice apartment to his self and a bunch of fancy shit.

i came over at 1, we watched some netflix (i think u should leave) and drank some white claw and talked a bunch. he's into drugs and esp psychadelics. we had a really fun time talking. he talked about his 3 yr gf he broke up with 3 months ago. he cried a little. she was an alcoholic and like super shitty and manipulative. and lied all the time. i feel like it should have made me uncomfortable but it didnt. it was sweet sort of? idk. i hugged him. we disclosed a bunch of shit. i told him abt my friends i have sex with.

we had so much fun talking. he ordered chipotle. we cuddle a bunch. eventually we kissed and it was...so good. there's like, a force to it, like youre trying to become a single person. my favorite kind. he paints! his paintings are pretty good! he sells them for thousands of dollars! he has some bunnies, but theyre gonna be gone soon, cuz his girlfriend is taking them with her (she's been moved out for months, but she hasnt gotten all her shit). he showed me the holy mountain, altho we got distracted idk, 40 minutes in. he showed me a bunch of the weird metal and psychadelic music he likes. we talked about our neurotic parents. i had some amyl nitrite, which was really fun, and he gave me an adderall when i got sleepy. he fucked me a little but his dick is pretty long and i think it was pressing against the bend, we need to figure out a better angle. we took a shower then bath together. he called me a good girl a coupe times. sparse with it, the way my greed doesnt like but which counts so much more. i got some headpets/scritches. he's genuinely such a nice guy. anyway he invited me to sleep over and he did. he has a HUGE tv and it's on an arm so he can point it toward the couch or the bed. he has a bedroom but he doesnt use it for that, he uses it for painting and uses the mian room for his bed. at like 11 pm he wanted a smoothie but the smoothie place was closed so he doordashed a bunch of juice.

anyway in the morning i sucked his dick and he came in my mouth pretty quickly so i got to spend a lone time sucking on it in the afterglow, which i think he really liked! it was fun! we cuddled a bunch. we watched the entirety of casino! it was really good! i doordashed some vegetarian chicken nuggets. anyway now im back home. this is the best date ive been on in...i mean honestly maybe ever. it was great. im very happy. he's really into trans girls. he kept telling me how cute/gorgeous he thinks i am. it was so sweet... i mentioned im autistic and explained the flapping i do when he says something really nice. it was amazing