#She Held My Hand as We Walked || Hawksights
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@hawksightshas been practicing:
"Yö tervehtii, White Cloud." Upon seeing their friend, Riza smiled, eyes aglow as they gazed up to him. Hopefully, their Misterican practice with the Colonel paid off. Both of them were eager to learn their friend's mother tongue, and Riza spent extra time ensuring their pronunciation was just right. Maybe it was silly, but they wanted White Cloud to be just a little proud of them--or at least approve of said pronunciation.
"It's good to see you. Are you busy?" Probably a foolish question since everyone always wanted White Cloud's attention for something. Riza's request was much more inane in comparison---in their opinion, anyway. "I was wondering if you wanted to sit up on the roof with me. I was going to sit by myself, but I'd really appreciate your company."
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ The sound of his own tongue is enough to catch him off guard a little but what gets him a bit more is the use of proper cultural phrasing. One of these days he needs to tell them what the exact translation of that actually is because it's not quite what the Amestrians use when they say "Good Evening." Same general concept but a slight different intent behind the two sayings.
Still it has his brows raising as the Misterican looking over his shoulder as he turns to see just who it is and a smile creeps onto his lips as jade meets warm brown. They explain that they were simply wondering if he had a moment and if he wanted to set up on the roof with them.
"Yö tervehtii, Miss Riza." He sounds back allowing that tone shift in his voice to return that somehow makes his voice sound all the more his than it normally does. "I always have time for you. I would be happy to sit with you for a moment. You've been practicing. You've nearly got the pronunciation perfect. I'm proud of you."
He's tidying up the area he was working, to put away the soft cloth in his hand he was using to polish the Maken before he lifts himself from his seat and replaces the blade back at it's home upon his belt.
"Did you want to climb the stairs or would you rather I fly the both of us up there? It's no problem."
#v; the night greets#hawksights#she held my hand as we walked || hawksights#ask || inquires of the cloud#drifting clouds || queue#arc: amestris no more
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⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ He can feel her unease through the touch of her palm against his own. Still his smile doesn't fade because if it does then what good would he be for calming nerves that so obviously needed calming.
"Come with me." He instructs as he pulls gently at her arm to guide down the hall of the Comodeen and through it's corridors until they come to another room that is not this larger space he was speaking of. No, instead the door slides open to reveal a room filled with things. A loft bed and a ceiling full of clouds. There's a bookshelf filled with books and a circular blue rug in the center of the floor. Miscellaneous trinkets scattered about the place that don't seem to carry any sort of real theme.
The swordsman releases her hand for the moment to move to the left side of the room where he slides open a drawer to start digging through it until he finds what he's looking for.
"Ah ha!"
He's turning back to her with a small back box like device in his hand and a grin on his face. He's closing the gap between them again to take her hand once more so he can lead her out of the room and to the place he spoke of earlier.
"Can't dance without music, right?"
Oh he's absolutely shining.
Most of their dances were on the ground. Huh. That was... unexpected. Riza blinked a few times in an attempt to will her confusion, and her blush, away. Her last out, a weak excuse, was gone. Embarrassment wasn't a common companion when it came to her daily life, but she had a feeling White Cloud would see plenty more of it soon. This was just a taste of what was to come.
"It does, yes." She nodded her head as she took his hand. Right, he was always going to be colder to the touch than a human. Their biology was just different. Moving on, though, she spoke again. "And no one will disturb us, right? I would rather not be watched."
No one needed to see the Hawk's Eye learn how to dance. Her coworkers did not need to know that she had about as much grace as a rock thrown through a window. She was a sharpshooter, an assassin not meant to be seen until it was too late. Dance was not useful for a soldier or the young girl her father neglected to raise. White Cloud had no idea that by taking her hand, he would have his hands full.
"I'm ready when you are."
#v; dance lessons#she held my hand as we walked || hawksights#hawksights#arc: amestris no more#drifting clouds || queue
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@Flameleads [ X ] || There is a discussion of the Kings
Eversti says - no Roy says he can trust him. Miss Riza is just the same. It's going to take some adjustment to stop calling him Eversti when he'd been so strict about it beforehand. He understands the idea behind it though. They can't be equals, if he's always addressing the man by proper rank and not by name, all the time. It's always been different with him because he's always had them address him by name - even if the name he gave them was really nothing more than a translation.
It counts though right? Maybe they'll get to the point one day that he gives them in his name in his native tongue but for now he doesn't think it necessary for them to have to deal with the mouthful that was Valkoinen Pilvi.
But this moves them into new territory because Ever - Roy says he's willing to help in any way possible, even if that means explaining Amestrian Alchemy or doing whatever he can. He just - refuses how to control the hellfire that Miss Riza's father created and honestly the Misterican Prince finds himself without a desire to learn such a thing anyway. It would have been more up Usva's alley and Brother already knew how to control his own hellfire.
If he were going to learn how to control the flames then he would much rather spend the time to attempt to master them through his Mist even if that meant he would have to deal with the recoils of when he inevitably messed it up due the mismatched nature of the required Mist's colors. This could have been avoided if Brother had not been so stubborn and just taught him himself but No, the elder Misterican had refused to teach his little brother anything of the sort while he was still alive.
He supposes that means both he and Evest - Roy have things to learn then, because if the man before him can control in his Mist in any facet he still wants to know how and why. He still needs to understand how this human managed to bring about his death even if he had been injured at the time and even if it was completely accidental.
So his hands are gripping at the mug within his grip for the moment, only to pause his thoughts for the time being and trade them out with the soothing sensation of a warm liquid coating his throat. He's had just about enough of breakdowns and panic attacks today. Both sides of the situation has had their emotions stirred around like a bubbling pot and the contents were just as rancid as Black Wind's cooking.
He knows the man says he'll do whatever it takes and he's willing to teach whatever he's able but what is he willing to learn? Being ready to learn about Wonderland is not being ready to learn about Mist and bluntly put he still doesn't know if this man can even channel such a thing being a being of soil at his core. Wouldn't that be a miracle? A being of Soil commanding Mist itself? He supposes he shouldn't be too surprised, he's already done it once. It could have been a fluke though, and he needs to know more.
What he needs is Cid to restore his mask to him, so he can get on with these lessons because not one person in the entirety of the Comodeen will let him go through with the little scheme that twisting around in that head of his without it. Cid might not let him do it at all and well what Black Wind doesn't know won't hurt him because he highly doubts his Other will be pleased if he tells him that he has full intention to recreate the scenario of his death in order to try to figure out how this Amestrian Soldier managed to activate his Mist.
It should have been impossible, unless there was something else at play. Could it have been with the way that Ev - Roy can manipulate the oxygen levels in the air? Even if it he can't actually control his Mist but he can do that - well that could prove to be quite problematic in battle if he can't keep track of how much of an explosive charge is behind the Mist he's allowed to seep into the air. It could create charges he has no control over or ones that he isn't prepared for and as Revon used to tell him while he was growing up -
'A Knight who cannot control their magic should never take the initiative to cast. An out of control spell can be twice as devasting as one cast by a Master of their craft but that is only because its wielder cannot bring its destruction to a halt.'
He might have trained in the ways of a knight when he was growing up but they practiced safety before all else. Mistericans still believed in Life over All after all, so that meant theirs too. There was no space for out of control spells or unruly behavior.
"Ever - Roy - Forgive me, this is going to take some adjustment. Regardless, there is a matter I wish to discuss with you but I fear you are not going to give me a favorable response. I need to know how you commanded my Mist. It should have been impossible for one such as yourself to do so, and by that I do not mean human, but instead a being of Soil.
I think it's important that you understand the basic building blocks of the universe, and by that being Soil and Mist. Black Wind is what is known by both his people and mine as a Soil Mage. I am what is known as a Mist Mythic, meaning we both can command these elements to cast spells and summon beasts to our aid.
Black Wind's arsenal far exceeds my own, but that is merely due to the nature of Soil as a whole. Where as Mist is my breath, and it is born of me - Soil is the crystalized souls of the dead. The vast army Black Wind commands is created through the temporary resurrection of previous Windarians and other species alike.
All beings are made of one of these two elements at their core. All beings except for Chaos. I think you see why I would like you to understand these building blocks at this point. Fighting Chaos is not a 'fight fire with fire' situation. The only thing this will serve to accomplish is more fire and the destruction of everything around it, therefore only further feeding Chaos. "
He sighs and shifts taking a moment to take a long sip from the mug in his hands before he returns it to the table before him. His shoulders raise and drop as he readjusts his posture and sighs again.
"I owe you both, a proper explanation. I only mentioned such a thing in passing to Miss Riza, not thinking about what was coming out of my mouth and in doing so I caused her much distress. I apologize. To you Ever- Roy I never not explained such a thing at all, and I owe it to you to explain just what the beast you're agreeing to do battle with is.
Chaos feeds on the negative emotions of living beings, but in my time observing it, I have come to learn that even attempting to suppress said emotions does little to prevent Chaos from getting what it wants. We are living beings and suppressing our emotions is impossible. I have come to learn that it is Chaos who should be punished and not the beings who are merely expressing themselves in the only way they know how.
While it is true that Chaos feeds on negative emotions, and it uses the power it creates from them to destroy - there's nothing we can do to prevent this cycle. The only thing I have found to do to strike back at Chaos in this function is to simply process my emotions and work through them so I don't continue to stew in my misery. I promise this when I say this, but there is nothing Chaos hates more than how strongly my heart loves.
So please don't try to shut your hearts down, simply due to the nature of our enemy. We just try to mend and repair strife wherever possible.
As for what I was speaking of before. One's soul is either comprised of Soil or Mist. There is no such thing as both as they are opposing energies. Soil is toxic to me, as I'm sure Mist can be quite damaging to Black Wind in ways we have yet to find out. Soil however, devours my mist and it burns my skin. So we have to be careful when we enter combat.
This is what I meant when I said Black Wind and I were inverted twin souls. A Commander of Soil and a Master of Mist. Aren't we quite a pair? Regardless, as a being of Soil, you should not have been able to have any agency over the command of my Mist. Mist is born of the being it comes from and only they can command it. So upon the return of my mask to me, I wish to recreate the conditions of my death.
I need to see exactly what you did in order to activate, and worry not - I will remain masked the entire time and with my hearing intact I will be able to contain the blast that should come from such an action with ease. You however have every right to refuse me. Still, if you can command my Mist at all, then I wish to teach you how to command it properly to avoid further incidents in the future. "
#flameleads#Fire that Burns like Sunlight and Morning Mist || Flameleads#Hawksights#She held my hand as we walked || Hawksights#v; Nobody Else Would Know#Arc: Amestris No More#tw; long post#tw; death
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@hawksights is cold:
A walking blanket that may or may not be Lieutenant Hawkeye carried two cups of blueberry tea. Holding out one toward White Cloud, they kept the other for themself.
"It is very cold."
It is bundle of blankets that greets her, hands extending to take the cup from her hands and bring it in close before he takes a sip.
"Kiitos." He sounds out with a small shiver to his voice. "Se on hyvin kylmä."
He's letting his hands rub against the warm mug as if to suck up the heat while sets under the pile of blankets he's collected to keep himself warm. Soon he's letting one arm swing wide to lift the blankets as if in invitation.
"Set with me. Two bodies has to be better than one for this cold. I'll share these blankets."
And he will, all but the near rainbow one that rests at the core of the nest he's created. No, he has that blanket wrapped around him tight.
#v; bird nest#hawksights#ask || inquires of the cloud#// He said “thank you - It is very cold.”#she held my hand as we walked || hawksights
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⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ He doesn't know how much further he needs to go out to find these boys and he's taken up to going straight into town now. If he doesn't find a hint of them soon, he fears that Eversti may do something reckless or ... worse... stupid. He doesn't take the man for someone to do heavy headed things but when one's family is in danger, the heart can cause the mind to lose all logic.
He's found himself at the victim of such a conundrum maybe times in past days.
So he needs to find them... and he needs to find the pillar that connects Wonderland to their Amestris before it's too late. There are so many promises he's made to these people and yet he doesn't feel like he's been able to make good on a single one of them.
He's been through three villages in recent days and two of three of them recognized him for who he was. The first was the terror filled echoes of voices that were too scared to anger Lord Makenshi while the second scorned the very air he breathed and damned him the minute they made eye contact with them. He didn't get far with that village as some of the larger looking men in the town were getting rather rough with the way they were speaking to him and he almost wondered if they would have tried to kill him if he stayed any longer.
So it's a bit more than a welcome sight when tired jade eyes lay on that of the large complex the Comodeen has created. This has been his longest stint out in the wilds of Wonderland yet - coming back home after running his rations dry because there was no sane person in all of Wonderland that would be willing to feed him. There would be no soft beds or offers of food for the one known as Lord Makenshi.
So he had no choice but to pause his search and return home. He's been out for the better part of a week and his entire body is dragging as he makes his way into the building. There's hardly anything in it but yet his travel bag feels so heavy at his side. All he wants to do is find something to fill his empty stomach and to fall asleep for the next few days in his own bed.
That wouldn't be too much to ask would it?
He's been working so hard to keep these promises to them, so he's earned the break - hasn't he?
@flameleads -> forgotten-teammates -> shiroi---kumo
@shiroi---kumo + @forgotten-teammates
In the kitchen, packing the meals he prepared for himself in his bag, no one saw the Colonel’s hands shake.
Kain’s worsened injury was the last straw. He didn’t wander far from the Comodeen, and yet—and yet—if White Cloud hadn’t found him in time… Roy wanted to just be thankful. He was thankful he could still look into his friend’s eyes every day. But, that emotion brought friends he didn’t care for, and they overstayed their welcome. Guilt flooded his veins whenever he looked at Kain, and he couldn’t stop himself from wondering if he helped cause the man to flee their safe haven in the first place. Anger followed shortly thereafter, lighting his blood on fire, as he dared to answer in the affirmative.
Fear, though, was the most unwelcome. Heavier than the albatross, it sat on his chest and made it nearly impossible for him to breathe. Something attacked Kain and nearly killed him—he nearly died. What else existed in Wonderland? What other beasts roamed the lands for easy prey like those already injured like Edward? It hadn’t been that long since their excursion in the south. Neither of them fully recovered since then, and Edward couldn’t breathe like he used to. He couldn’t fight like he used to, and that was detrimental.
Never mind Gaudium. And White Cloud couldn’t be everywhere at once to save the day. That was far too much to ask from one being, never mind one a dying one.
He couldn’t keep asking White Cloud to search for his boys like this when he had much more pressing concerns to deal with. He couldn’t do that to his friend. Not only that, but he couldn’t… he couldn’t keep staying safe within the walls of the Comodeen doing what felt like nothing. Cleaning probably helped, and he taught himself Wonderlandian, but it wasn’t enough. Edward and Alphonse weren’t in his arms. For all he knew, they could be fending off beasts like what Kain dealt with or worse, or… or…
His breath hitched as he stopped packing for a few seconds. No, no no no no. He needed to push the memory down. He couldn’t let it resurface. All he needed to do was finish packing and—
“Colonel?”
Goddammit, she found him before he finished.
Quiet as always, the Lieutenant appeared at his side without saying much, the question in her eyes as she met his gaze. Her stance said a lot for someone to someone who knew her: feet apart, as if ready to go at a second’s notice, but shoulders squared toward him to give him her undivided attention. Her eyes traveled to his bag and back to his eyes in milliseconds, a hint of concern present along with her business as usual. She wouldn’t say a word until he replied to her, and she wouldn’t leave his side until she got her answer. He knew that. With a heavy sigh, he stopped packing, and he turned toward her.
“I only packed enough for me.” No, that was the wrong thing to say. She gave him a blank stare before she replied.
“I’ll be fine. When are we leaving?”
“… Ten minutes.” He raised an eyebrow. “You’re not trying to stop me, Lieutenant?”
“Trying to stop you will only end up with you being reckless without me. At least I can keep an eye on you this way.”
“As long as you’re sure.” His hands returned to packing the rest of his meals. Thankfully, he was almost done when the Lieutenant arrived.
“My duty to you doesn’t waver, Sir. I will see you in ten minutes.” With a formal salute, the Lieutenant turned on her heel and walked back to her room. She had her weapons to prepare along with Hayate. While she did just get him back, a trip out into Wonderland wasn’t the wisest idea for him. There was no telling what they’d find out in the wild, and they didn’t know how long they would be gone. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be more than a few days, and the Comodeen wouldn’t miss them that much. They did just get most of the team back together. That, and leaving without saying goodbye…
She was not in charge of this pseudo-mission, though. The Colonel was, and he did not deem it important to tell anyone else that he was leaving. He had one thought on his mind and nothing else: his boys. After seeing the two of them return to Central… she wished she could blame him.
#v; soul on fire#arc: amestris no more#flameleads#minun paras ystäväni || forgottenteammates || kain#like fire and morning mist || flameleads#she held my hand as we walked || hawksights#tw; long post#drifting clouds || queue#forgottenteammates#forgotten teammates
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@hawksights needs important information:
"When you introduce someone by rank, is it like when you say Herra in front of their name? I want to learn how to call the Colonel by his rank and then the word Sarcasm." Yes, Riza was being completely serious. "His sons will appreciate it."
"How to introduce someone as Colonel but also sarcasm?" He sounds with brows raising as he listens to their request. He stops for a moment, hand coming up to rest on his chin as if he's looking through a mental book of some sort.
Then he speaks again.
"I believe that would be Eversti Sarkasmia in my tongue. When we refer to a ranked knight, we still do so with rank preceding their name. So you would say rank first and then their name. Is this all you needed, Miss Riza?"
#v; a matter of importance#she held my hand as we walked || hawksights#hawksights#ask || inquires of the cloud#unprompted || passing clouds
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@hawksights senses a disturbance in the force:
Tea couldn't solve every problem. Big problems required bigger solutions.
Thus, Riza arrived next to White Cloud with a large mug of hot chocolate in each hand. Small marshmallows floated in both of them and, per the Colonel's recommendation, she added a dash of cinnamon to the drinks themselves. She placed one cup in front of him before looking to a chair nearby.
"May I sit here?" Nothing had to be said. In fact, she wasn't sure if she was up for conversation. She just didn't want to be alone, and she had a feeling White Cloud didn't want to be either.
What is wrong with him today?
He’s yelled at Black Wind is the most vile way he could think do so. He’s hissed Mist out at the Gun Mage and said the most hurtful things he could come up with. He sharpened his love like a dagger and he went in for the kill. He focused his rage like a tactical nuke and attacked his other as if he was the same monster that kept him trapped in that castle for all those years. Black Wind offered him something he’d never offered him before in his entire life - vulnerability and he sharpened his words like knives and he threw them back at his Other with pinpoint accuracy.
What was wrong with him today?
Miss Riza has come to set a mug down in front of him as she takes a seat. He nods at her question and brings the warm beverage into his hands inhaling deeply to breath in that calming scent before he finally presses it to his lips and takes a long sip to let that warm liquid fill his mouth before he finally swallows.
“Oi, Kiitos.” (Oh, Thank You) He sounds not thinking twice about speaking in his mother tongue to her. He’s scared to let his words loose today. He’s already let his tongue cause enough damage today. He’s exhausted and he doesn’t much like himself today. He’s wicked today. The beast has gotten loose again, and he can’t say he much cares for any of the times that the Demon Swordsman sets his sights on the Demon Gunman and decides to strike him down in verbal combat.
Black Wind was... just trying to come down to his level. Black Wind told him he was afraid and the only thing he could think to do was scream. Nothing else existed in that moment except his pain. Nothing else existed in that moment but his anguish and so the Demon Swordsman did the only thing he knew how to do and that was to growl and snap and bite at whoever was fool enough to dare coming near him. Black Wind ended up being his unwitting victim and now he’s taken whatever was left of their already fragile relationship and thrown it against the ground like shattering glass.
So he says nothing and just focuses his gaze down on the brown steaming liquid that is covered in those small clouds of white fluffy sugar. There’s a deep sadness in his eyes. A loneliness that is usually hidden behind bright smiles and cheerful manners.
No today the prince’s eyes look hollow.
#v; quiet company#hawksights#She Held My hand as we walked || Hawksights#tw; long post#tw; depression#tw; mental illness#tw; mental breakdown#// oi is still said 'oy' like 'boy'
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Words of Truth || Accepting
@wyrdify asked:
❓ + "Makenshi - your thoughts on Lieutenant Hawkeye?"
"I believe their name is Riza not Lieutenant. Lieutenant is not a name - it is a title. You can achieve such a thing but it is not what you are. It does not make you into who you are as a person. As for how I feel them, the answer is simple. They are probably the most reasonable one of the entire bunch of humans that seems to keep popping up in Wonderland. These Amestrians.
Though, perhaps a bit blind. Concern for a stranger - it can be a downfall if you are not careful, but yet they are practical, blunt, bold and to the point. Willing to provide information and not dance around the unpleasantries. People die and Amestrians apparently do terrible things. I suppose we have that in common.
You certainly want a lot of my attention lately, don't you human? Riza is a fine companion. Though I would like to see their gunmanship for myself. It would be nice to have someone else on the battlefield to cover my blind spots that I don't need to worry about destroying my hearing when they do so. "
#meme || words of truth#wyrdify#hawksights#arc: amestris no more#ask || inquires of the cloud#she held my hand as we walked || hawksights#topic: Amestris
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To Me You Are... || Accepting
@hawksights said: "What am I?" [ from Riza ]
"An admirable friend."
#meme || What Am I#hawksights#she held my hand as we walked || Hawksights#ask || inquires of the cloud
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@hawksights has declared War!
The stage was set.
Snow fell in Wonderland, and it was just right: no ice in sight, and it was dense enough to make the perfect snowballs. Thankfully, at least one person agreed with her: one Misterican, her current target. Sitting atop her tree branch, and no scope in hand, she held one snowball. All she had to do was wait, and… there. She didn't need much time to prepare her shot. With the same precise aim she practiced on the battlefield, she lobbed one snowball for White Cloud's back.
One would think that this situation is that of one poor unsuspecting Misterican about to take a frozen projectile to the back by that of a mischievous Amestrian but in reality it was far from. Herra Mustang is standing off to the sidelines ready to count blows and keep track of the time. Miss Riza has said that half of one hour would be acceptable so she does not get too cold and that neither of the humans fall ill to the chill.
If either of them strike Mustang, even if by accident it’s an instant loss. Flying is off limits as is any other weaponry beyond their hands. The Cloud’s mask must remain on his face at all times, and it is an even fight depending on their natural abilities.
Or Is it?
The sound of the snowball leaving her hand is loud in his ears and the Misterican lets his whole body drop down so he can duck the incoming projectile. He can hear her breathing and it seems the cold required more from human lungs than it did of Misterican ones. He found it a bit easier in these temperatures in all honesty. Forcing to keep his feet on the ground is his disadvantage but his body made up for in other ways. Jade eyes are scanning the space above his head at a wider view than a human would have if only just for a moment before he breaks out into a dead run. He can’t stay out in the open.
The sun reflecting off the snow doesn’t blind human eyes in the same way it does Windarian ones and as such that means the world matching his soul’s color would not provide the natural t camouflage it does when he attempts to engage Black Wind in these antics. He needs to use the forest for cover, and he’s positive she’s taken the higher ground. So he lets himself fall into the mix to the trees in the area, taking his place behind one to both hide and start building ammunition.
You’d think Black Wind would jump at the chance to pelt him with the frozen liquid - he’s the sharpshooter between the two of them after all. For now he just needs to still his breath and listen. He just needs to listen and keep himself hidden so he can draw her out. With a perch in the high ground he’d have to fly to get to her quickly and that’s against the rules so that means he needs to get her to come down to his level.....
#v; Battle of the Birds#hawksights#She Held My hand as we walked || Hawksights#ask || inquires of the cloud#// we legit talked the rules out last night okay#// we let them talk out rules on disco last night so yeah this is a thing
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Character Tag Drop: At Your Side Forever I will Be || Kazeofthemagun
She held my hand as we walked || Hawksights
As long as this heart beats you won’t be alone || Angcrmanagcmcnt
Fire that burns like sunlight and Morning Mist || Flameleads
**please remember Character tags come from Kumo’s POV and they are his words and his thoughts. If your muse is not on here he probably needs more time to get to know them or he hasn’t found the right words yet
#At Your Side Forever I will Be || KazeoftheMagun#She held my hand as we walked || Hawksights#As long as this heart beats you won't be alone || Angcrmanagcmcnt#Fire that burns like sunlight and Morning Mist || Flameleads
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hawksights:
Four words.
Four words were enough to startle the normally statuesque sniper, eyes staring forward. As apologies streamed from her lips, silly as they were, she expected her conversation partner to strike them down in seconds. She slipped up. For years, she perfected the skill of stilling her tongue when the word sorry dared to cross her mind. The Colonel told her that, unless she truly believed she had a legitimate reason to, she needn’t apologize to him or anyone else. When she erred, he replied to her apologies with something along the lines of, “You don’t need to,” or, “It’s all right.” Only occasionally did he return it.
This… this was new.
Acceptance for her apology. Not telling her she was wrong, that she should be apologizing, or that everything was fine as she often did. No, he accepted her apology for what it was, and nothing more.
She blinked a couple of times as she attempted to take these words in. Her mind didn’t want to move on from them, emotions she couldn’t identify shedding layers of dust as they ran to the surface. Oh, she wished she could hold them in her hands so she could figure them out. Was it sadness? Part of her did feel like crying a bit more, but it wasn’t out of hurt… maybe? That didn’t explain why her shoulders relaxed just a tad from acceptance she hadn’t received much of before, at least not like—
Oh. That was it. It was relief from acceptance, but… maybe she felt sad because she never got a response like this before. Was that it? Something so basic could trigger her to feel all of these things? She supposed this was what she got for locking every emotion away in a safe underwater the moment her mother passed away, perhaps even before that. After all, her father didn’t want an emotional girl—he wanted a brilliant son he could pass down his legacy to someday.
White Cloud didn’t know her history. No one but the Colonel knew the tragedy of Riza Hawkeye, and, if she had her way, no one else ever would. But, with four words, White Cloud saw her, the vile and worthless little girl who didn’t amount to anything according to her father, and he accepted her. He didn’t need Lieutenant Hawkeye, the sharpshooter, the woman with impeccable aim and an even better service record. He was okay with just Riza.
Thus, her shoulders relaxed, and a slight smile rested on her face.
His acceptance came with follow-up, though, which she sort of expected. Taking her cup back in her hands, she took a few sips and listened. It seemed the both of them had a penchant for hiding things from their partners. In the end, nothing good came of it—catastrophe, in fact. This… how many times had the two of them died when it came to this Chaos? Did she want to know? Eyes wide again, she decided that no, she did not want to know. While the Colonel’s curiosity knew no bounds, hers did.
But, she would end up finding out anyway, wouldn’t she? She and the Colonel shared everything when it came to information. Secrets such as how much of a burden she felt like, or how scared of the Homunculi—and Chaos now—she was, or how she had nightmares about his death… no, those stayed with her. They were professionals. They couldn’t be friends. They had to draw that hard line in the sand long before he joined the military.
He was still her family, though, and she did need to talk to him. If he trusted her with his life, he needed to know her thought process. The Homunculi messed them up a bit, and Wonderland certainly knocked them off kilter. Speaking in stolen glances or Morse code wasn’t going to work in the long term.
Besides… it seemed like he was finally listening to Edward and Alphonse when it came to who deserved what. Shouldn’t she, the person who said those boys had a point, listen too?
White Cloud’s next question came to no surprise. He wouldn’t know it, but many people in Amestris often asked why someone like the Flame Alchemist needed someone to protect him. The newspapers heralded his skills during the Ishval War, and he became the face of the State Alchemist program. Yet, only people like Hughes and the team knew the reality of the situation: the Colonel thought with his heart more often than not, and he needed people to protect him because of it.
People who loved him. People who refused to let anything happen to that fool of a man who wanted to lead a nation and leave no one behind.
“I would.” A simple answer. White Cloud looked at her with a soft gaze, though—something one wouldn’t think killers like them could do. Yet, she mirrored him as she nodded her head, a faint smile still on her face. They didn’t kill because they wanted to. When it came to the people they loved, they killed to protect them. “And I always will.”
As they moved onto slightly less serious matters, she had to admit that she couldn’t remember the last time someone gave her a hug. She and Catalina didn’t have that sort of relationship, and she kept all encounters professional with her team. Even at Hughes’s funeral, she couldn’t break that barrier and give Gracia or Elicia a hug. Hayate wasn’t human, so that didn’t count. The last time was… she really couldn’t remember.
No one ever asked, and she never offered. She kept her distance on purpose. The last time someone she cared about got close to her… well, it wasn’t as if White Cloud could do that. It was one hug. As long as he didn’t try to kill her, which she couldn’t see him doing, then it should be fine.
“I appreciate you asking first. This is going to sound stupid, but I don’t actually remember when I last hugged anyone. Military life does that.” She shrugged. “I’ll accept one if you’re giving them, though.”
He’s rising to move to her as she accepts. There’s a smile on his face as he lifts himself from his chair and rounds the table to get to her with his arms open wide, waiting for her to instep to him so he can preform the action. It’s tight and strong but he makes it only last a few moments before he releases her once more.
Nothing lingering. Nothing suffocating. Nothing that can accidently cross boundaries, but he is always happy to provide.
He’s returning to his seat again with a smile on his face. It’s a bit wider than it was before and the prince is taking a moment to lift his mug from the table and take a long drink from it now that his tea has cooled.
“If you are ever in need Riza, you can come to me. That offer is always open to you and never expires, but always with your permission of course, and I don’t just mean hugs. You have my ear as well if you just need someone to listen to you. ”
It’s time for a darker subject though because he told her they would talk about that in a moment when she tried to distract him from the more pressing matter of this one soldier’s shaking shoulders of the emotions she was trying carry without stopping to rest.
His hands grip the mug within them as his eyes grow dark and his smile fades into a frown. A jade gaze focuses in on the table for a moment and he sighs.
“As for your other questions.”
“I need anything you can give me. When Chaos swallows a world... I told you we’d talk about it - and no matter how grim this is - you have the right to know. When Chaos swallows a world it takes everyone and everything. I can remember it as clear as day. The dark pillar that sat on Misterica for most of my life suddenly sprang to life. It just started expanding and it took everything in sight.
The sky grew dark and the ground itself split in twain. Buildings crumbled and Mountains collapsed. The sea raged and it was as if the land itself was crying out. That darkness flooded over Misterica, and it devoured everything it touched. Everything and everyone. Even Mother... and Father. Even Usva... even me.
I cannot give you a complete description of what happened to my home if only because I died. I was... seventeen then. It happened again - just three years later on Windaria when I was living with Black Wind. It was like living in a nightmare. The ground erupted with magma and flame. The trees came crashing down and the darkness spread. It spread and devoured everything in its path, but this time it was everything except us.
That was the first time we stood in the face of Chaos and raised weapon to that beast. It - it killed us and took Windaria for it’s own. That’s how we ended up in Wonderland. Black Wind was injured so I placed him into a deep sleep with my Mist and so I ended up.. alone. “
“So really if anything, if you can remember anything about how you ended up here or just before I can probably surmise at least a little of what occurred. Chaos doesn’t just take worlds to start after all. It marks them. So it’s possible that your Amestris is still there. We drove that beast back from taking Earth, we can do it again. Please, Riza. Anything you have to offer. Trust in us. Black Wind and I - together nothing can stand against us - not even Chaos.”
#v; Nobody Else Would Know#Arc: Amestris No More#She held my hand as we walked || Hawksights#hawksights#tw; death#tw; destruction#tw; depression#tw; long post#tw; PTSD#tw; grief
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⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ His hand comes down on theirs without a thought as he starts walking with a gentle pull. If they're going flying then he needs a few things before they do so and that had him dragging Miss Riza behind him until he sticks his head into Cid's office with a smile on his face.
"Cid?" He sounds with a bit of a chirp to his voice cause the blond to turn and face while sliding up his goggles to his forehead.
"Yes Kumo?" He smiles and takes a moment to note the look on the Misterican's face. "What are you up to?"
"Have you made the things I asked for?"
Blond brows raise and he smiles a little more with a soft sigh. A gloved hand moving to sift through his desk until he finds the requested objects and he's passing over a pair of goggles to the man in white.
"Please be careful while you're up there and I don't want you in the air at night, Kumo."
"We'll be back before sunset." He sounds taking the object into his hand. "Thank you, Cid."
They're on the move again as the Misterican hands his retrieval back to his friend before he pulls them straight outside into the space just in front of the compound's main entrance.
"I need you to wear those if I am to hit any form of speed and you wish you keep your eyes open. If you just want to rise into the air, then there is no need but the precaution is recommended. As a flightless being, your eyes are not built for being in the sky and I would hate for something to happen to your vision."
He's instructing with one hand on his hip while the other moves happily through the air as he speaks.
"I am more than willing to show you a bit of Wonderland from the skies, should you so desire. I just - I need safety percautions covered before that. When we ascend I am going to hold you in my arms and close to my chest. Please loop your arms around my shoulders, and hold me as tightly as you need. I'm durable so please don't fret yourself about hurting me."
The birds that chirped and tweeted outside the Hawkeye estate often left a young Riza wondering what it would be like to join them. With a vivid imagination due to reading all the fantasy books they could find, they imagined themself becoming a sparrow. Small wings and a soft melody, they could perch on their windowsill for the morning before flying through the countryside, never to see the inside of that awful, decrepit house again.
They never thought that could one day be even close to reality. No, them transforming into a bird was ridiculous, but White Cloud could actually fly. Riza saw it for themself at least once, and the Colonel told them about it as well. So did Kain. To White Cloud, flying was like breathing.
If they were in his place, they would never want their feet to touch the ground. A small laugh left their lips at the mention of carrying Black Wind. His strength truly was no joke then. The Windarian---was that the right word to call him?---had to be much heavier than the human barely even half his size. Carrying them wouldn't be too much of an issue for him at all! The Colonel might balk due to White Cloud's current health, but flying required different strength, and, quite frankly, that man was not the boss of the Misterican.
Was it silly that this, out of everything in the world right now, left them buzzing? Higher than the roof? Yes.
"I trust you, White Cloud. I would love to go higher than the roof. Honestly... I've always wanted to fly. I just didn't want to impose on you."
#v; the night greets#arc: amestris no more#she held my hand as we walked || hawksights#hawksights#drifting clouds || queue#guest muse: cid
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⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ The look on Miss Riza's face spoke volumes. It was more than obvious that flight was more than just in the cards but something they had been thinking about for a while now. Why hadn't they just asked him? Perhaps it was an awkward subject or maybe they just didn't want to seem like they were being demanding of him.
He would never claim to understand how the flightless think. It's so commonplace to him, he never thinks twice about it. So of course, he would choose to simply float up to the roof instead of climbing the flights of stairs it took to reach the highest levels of the building. It would be silly of him not to.
"No trouble at all." He smiles. "Flying is the same as breathing to me at this point. Carrying someone for a short moment, is no issue at all. I've carried Black Wind for far longer distances and I doubt you weigh as much as he does."
There's a short laugh at the end of his words as he thinks about it, the feeling of that man going absolutely rigid in his arms and clinging to the Cloud for death life as if the slightest breeze could knock him from the swordsman's arms and send him plummeting the ground below.
"If you'd like, we could perhaps, go a little higher than the roof. That is if you trust me and you're interested."
"I'm proud of you." A short sentence lit amber eyes up and almost rendered them gold. He was proud of them. Riza knew it was silly to expect some sort of outside validation for practicing their skills, something they learned from the man who couldn't express gratitude. The military fortified that lesson, which was expected. Still---still---to hear someone say those four short words... Riza stopped themself from running up to White Cloud to hug him.
He saw them and their hard work, and that meant the world.
"Thank you." Was that the right response in these circumstances? Simplicity while maintaining eye contact seemed appropriate. It allowed for the conversation to continue to the next subject, one Riza hadn't considered: mode of transportation to the roof. Blinking a couple of times, their eyes widened. Flight. There was no reason they had to travel separately. White Cloud offered. They weren't imposing or being rude by asking.
Besides, they always wanted to be like their namesake and fly, even if for a few seconds.
"If it's really not that much trouble, I would love to fly."
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He has to stop and reel himself back in for a moment at her words. His face drops and a hand rises to rub the back of fluffy blond locks for a moment as he sounds out in a nervous laughter.
"Oh. I'm sorry. I get a little carried away with myself and I forget sometimes. If I'm not making sense, please just tell me. Really I'm sorry about that. I guess I've just been spouting a bunch'a gibberish at you, huh?"
There's an awkward lookin his face, shy almost as she continues and he smiles. It's good to hear that Mr. Mustang would understand it at least a little. He's not used to having to explain what he's doing. He's used to everyone just letting him do it.
So he nods, to let her know he is listening. She's saying she'll at least try to talk to Kumo and he feels a little silly about it all honestly. He was so bent out of shape when she came here because he thought Kumo sent someone to talk in his stead and now he's doing the very same thing. He just needs someone else to reason with him.
Can't that man see how much he cares about him? Why does he have to be so stubborn?
And he finds himself half wondering if that's a Misterican trait or if it just comes from being immortal because Kaze is certainly stubborn too.
"I'm not expecting any miracles. Kumo's a stubborn one, but I think that's the gist of it. I'm sure he'll groan at you about wanting his mask now and how I'm being unreasonable but he'll get over it. I got Knave to stop smoking for the time being so at least there's that."
He laughs at the comment as if to lighten the mood.
"I'll talk to you later. Thanks for hearing me out. Just remember, Kumo likes you - so just keep it up and you should be fine. Oh! Wait - !"
His shoulders jerk for a moment, as if he remembered something and he's scrambling through his desk drawers until he stops and pulls out a cloth face mask and he's passing it over to the Amestrian before she can leave.
"Give this to him. I would have gave it to him earlier but I forgot about. He was very upset that he couldn't hold a conversation properly without fogging out a room. That won't stop it, but it'll slow it. He doesn't have to use it but it's better than nothing. Don't be surprised if he gets insulted though. You can blame it on me."
He laughing again, pulling his visor down as he turns around in his seat and starts tinkering with the wires and metal before him.
"Lemme know how it goes."
He said White Cloud suffered worse things than this, and she bristled. Her gaze hardened while her stance stiffened. It was no doubt the truth, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know what White Cloud lived through before they met. Regardless, as she placed her hands behind her back and clasped them together, she had half a mind to offer a rebuttal. White Cloud shouldn't be suffering at all. If they could do something about his suffering, shouldn't they? That was why she came to Cid in the first place.
Alas, she did what she always did: she kept quiet, and she shook her head to the offer of a chair. It was best she remained standing. If the Colonel woke and needed her, she needed to be prepared. Not only that, but standing was comfortable. Too many days spent sitting at a desk with paperwork in front of her, and she found the need to be on her feet. Hopefully it wouldn't be considered rude. She was merely acting as a normal soldier.
Something that wasn't really needed in Wonderland, White Cloud said. He didn't know her oath to the Colonel, though. As long as he and Amestris still existed, then she still had a job to do. Their world wasn't gone yet.
Cid continued, mentioning that he could have the mask working within a couple of days. However, that wasn't the problem: the port was. Port... the Colonel used that word when he spoke about Edward's automail. That was where it connected to the body, right? And that had to do with the nervous system too. What Cid said, though, about replacing wiring and pneumatic actuators, made no sense to her. She had basic knowledge of biology, but she had a limited understanding of machines that weren't weaponry. White Cloud wasn't purely a weapon.
Only some of Cid's words made sense to her, and she needed to accept that. The Colonel spent hours and hours pouring over books on automail when Edward enlisted, and even more after the adoption became official. His alchemy also required a deep understanding of human biology---her father wanted nothing less from his protégé. She could take everything Cid told her and relay it to the Colonel, and he could talk to White Cloud with or without her.
"I can't understand most of what you're saying, Cid," she admitted. "I don't know much about machines or how they work. However, the Colonel will have more of an understanding than I do, and I'll relay what you said to him when he's awake. Together, we might be able to convince White Cloud that the surgery is the right step forward. I won't make any promises, though."
She let out a sigh of her own. There really wasn't much she could do, was there? The Colonel knew more about this area than she did, and Cid was obviously the expert when it came to machines and how to fix the mask. All she could do was relay information, be the middleman. White Cloud wouldn't be pleased at the lack of an instant fix, of course, but, well... there wasn't anything she could do about that. These hands weren't like Fuery's or Cid's: able to pick apart devices and put them back together. They were steady enough to aim at targets and nothing else.
"Between you and me, it surprises me that he has high praise for the both of us. But, I won't bore you with that conversation. I should get back to White Cloud and see if we can't rouse the Colonel. Is there anything else I should know, Cid?"
#v; Nobody Else Would Know#Hawksights#She Held My Hand as We Walked || Hawksights#tw; doctors#tw; long post
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"I don't mean to sound cold when I say this, but Kumo's been suffering with a lot worse things that this. Not having his mask for a few more days or maybe a week is the least of my worries. That man is like a cat with an injured paw. He'll walk on it until it causes major damage but the minute someone else enters the room, he'll hide it and pretend he's completely fine. It's frustrating."
It's a sigh that leaves him as she continues and the technician finds himself perching in the chair at his desk as he does so. There's a motion to the other chair in his office for her to take a seat. The one the Misterican in question was getting in only hours prior with a sour look on his face when he got told no yet again.
He can't say he doesn't agree with her on the idea of not rushing it - it's honestly a breath of fresh air to hear Hawkeye agree with him so at least maybe someone can talk some sense into the swordsman on the subject. Kumo hardly seems to be listening to him, and if he dared to tell the man that he had been considering going to the Misterica remnant so he could retrieve information about their technology - something tells him that would either produce an explosion unlike he's ever seen or a passive shut down that would only feel like a stab to the heart.
And he wants to experience neither.
"I don't want it rushed either, obviously, Kumo doesn't seem to want to listen to me. I've already had it for a week. If I have it for another one, I think he's likely to get miserable to be around. I mean I can try to explain it to him again but I don't know if he'll listen. He normally just waves me off and lets me do as I will."
He's leaning forward with an elbow on his desk as he keeps his chair turns to face her. He could fix the mask easy without going to Misterica. He could just replace the wiring but he wouldn't be able to do anything else about all the other problems. That filtering system needs an upgrade because the last thing any of them need is for something toxic to get into Kumo's lungs and cause damage. He doesn't even know what would happen if it did.
They're going to need to go eventually but he refuses to go behind Kumo's back. It wouldn't do any good any way since any books or text that could be useful would all be written in Misterican anyway and no one but Kumo can read it.
"I mean I could probably have Sumi running properly in a couple days. Give a couple more for recovery, he'd be down for a week. The mask isn't the problem though. It's the port. I need to get him in here so I can look at the port on the back of his neck.
I glanced at it a little earlier today but I felt him lock up as soon as I started poking around in it. It'd be better if I could just knock him out for a little while, and I mean I don't blame him. He's got advanced circuitry embedded into the base of his skull and spine.
Every one of the main nerves are setting in a housing unit and using the electrical pulses they generate to fire off commands. That's why his mask responds the way it does and as quickly as it does. Sumi has no power source, so it's not like I have a battery or something I have to recharge. Kumo's nervous system is it's power source.
So when I poke around inside the port, it's impossible not to shock him a little if he's conscious. It's painful for him. I know it is; it has to be. His whole boy locked solid just a little bit ago when I was trying to get a good look at it. So I mean, if he was in pain when I was just poking around looking at it - imagine what it would feel like if I need to go in there and replace wiring and pneumatic actuators, or god forbid a housing unit. I don't know what's wrong with it completely but I know the power output levels are all wrong.
So I'm going to need to go in there and replace something. So that means surgery whether he likes it or not and surgery means recovery so he's going to get stuck in the medical ward again, whether he likes it or not. So that puts us exactly at why Kumo's mad at me. He wants an instant fix, but it's not instant. Surgery of that kind means he's going to be down for at least a few days longer than normal. His body heals a little different than ours does for obvious reasons.
So if I don't fix the port, Sumi can be up and running for him in the next couple of days. However that route means the increased risk of further damage to the port and Kumo. Basically, the longer I put off fixing that port, the more his risk of paralysis increases, because the next time he dies - the shock might back flash and fry the entire system. Do you see what I'm saying?
I need someone other than me to convince Kumo that letting me do this surgery is all of which a good idea, safe and productive. I need someone other than me to get this through his thick skull. If I could get Kaze to tell him, he would do it without question, but that's impossible. Kaze will want to rush back out there and get moving just as quickly as Kumo does."
His head falls into his hand as his elbow sets on his desk and he heaves a sigh again. Neither Kaze or Kumo is going to like this, and neither one of them would really want to listen either if he knows those two stubborn mules.
"I just need someone to talk to him, Hawkeye. I would do it myself but I can't talk to him and work on Sumi at the same time. I think you'll be fine. He seems to like you well enough. He's had nothing but high praise thus far, so I think you'll be okay. For as upset as he is about this whole situation, he's been smiling so that's a good sign. If you're unsure about it though, you can always talk to him with Mr. Mustang. Kumo has had high praise for you both."
Was it because White Cloud didn't trust them yet? That could explain why he showed no signs of migraines. To compare, she was in a place of privilege when it came to the Colonel. Around most people, he hid the fact that he suffered from migraines---or any sort of pain in general. He carried on as usual while he privately lamented to her, or other members of the team, that he needed something to mitigate his suffering. His public persona of a lazy Commanding Officer allowed him to get away with slacking off more on those days.
If a lack of trust was the case, then she wouldn't push the issue. Trust was earned, not demanded. Only White Cloud could determine whether or not anyone from Amestris was worthy his trust. Considering what they just told him about the Philosopher's Stone, and their history with war and murder...
For now, she dropped the subject. If Misterica was here, that needed to be the focus. An amber gaze stayed focused on Cid, curious as she wondered if he knew anything. From the look on his face, and how he folded his arms over his chest, he did know something, but he was hesitant. He had to sift through his knowledge and determine what White Cloud wanted others to know. This required a certain amount of care, she supposed.
A great amount of care, it turned out. As Cid spoke, and sighed more than once, she recognized the change in demeanor. His words held weight as they traveled to her ears, and she did her best to hold them. What remained of Misterica in Wonderland was all that remained of White Cloud's entire world, its people---everything. He probably didn't have much of a chance to grieve that loss, if she had to guess, and he didn't want anyone else to see something that caused him such immense pain.
With beings like Chaos, that pain could be weaponized. It probably was weaponized at one point or another.
A heavy sigh left her lips as she nodded her head. What could she do in this position? Cid needed to fix the mask, and he stood a better chance with a firm grasp of Misterican technology. That required going to what remained of Misterica, but that... there was a reason White Cloud didn't talk about home. It was a grief she couldn't begin to understand. Grief in general didn't make much sense to her. Losing her father was almost a celebratory moment, and, while she missed Hughes, she didn't have the strong connection to him like the Colonel. Even then, why miss someone who wasn't coming back?
As for the lives she took in Ishval... No. She had no right to grieve them. Or anyone.
This was more of the Colonel's area of expertise by far. He was the tactful one, the one who knew the right words to say, how to be there for someone going through hell. She was the blunt one, the one who followed orders, the one who did what needed to be done. Maybe, when he woke up, she could ask him what he thought was the best course of action. After all, he spent more time with White Cloud, and he likely had a better idea how he might react. But, right now...
"Either way, he suffers. We just have to let him know that he doesn't have to suffer alone." Her gaze wandered to the floor for a few seconds before it found its way back up to Cid. "I don't want this rushed, and I doubt White Cloud wants that either. But, I think we need to go to Misterica, and we need to be upfront with White Cloud about why. I know you don't want to hurt him, but if you tell him that you want to understand how his people built his mask, I think he'll be more understanding."
Maybe. She could be completely wrong. Considering she wasn't a people person, her analysis could be opposite of what would actually happen. White Cloud might close off from them completely and be insulted by this direct approach. They didn't need more mind games.
"How long would it take you to fix his mask without going to Misterica? If he's given time frames to work with, that could help. In the meantime... I don't know if I'm the best person to talk to about his home, but I could try. I only know what it's like to be alone with a burden like this, and carrying it without help... it's not easy."
#v; Nobody Else Would Know#Arc: Amestris No More#Hawksights#She Held My Hand as We Walked || Hawksights#Guest Muse: Cid#tw; doctors#tw; hospital#tw; injury#tw; surgery#tw; long post
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