#ShawnByMe

[shawnimaginesarchive]

Catching Kisses. - sm.

Based on this that I found on Instagram.

~

You never liked festivals, they were always too crowded and you often had to pay a lot of money to see bands and singers that you didn't like or even know, but it was your only chance to see Shawn, so you accepted and got the tickets to go. You never liked half of the line up of the festival that day, but you were decided to be as close as possible from the stage, so you, again, just accepted and watched everything. Shawn was looking so good, the concert was so good that you only could think that was worth it.

While the concert was happening you could see Shawn looking at you some times, a lot of times, to be honest. The first ones you thought that he was just looking to everyone, but not too long after you realized that he actually couldn't take his eyes of you. You felt your cheeks blush with the realization, knowing that it wasn't just because the weather was hot as hell. He smiled at your direction at least five times along the concert, you smiled back because, well, it was Shawn Mendes, right? At the end of There's Nothing Holding Me Back, Julia Michaels, that was also singing in the festival at some point, got in the stage, Shawn talked to her for a while, Julia talked to the audience as well before he started singing. That was one of your favorite songs of the new album, even more because you actually liked Julia as well. When was her time to sing was when everything happened. Shawn looked at you again, directly to you, and before you could stop yourself and avoid the embarrassment, you blowed a kiss to him, saying that you got surprised when he actually catched the kiss was an understatement. He smiled at you and pointed to his face with his hand closed, asking silently where the kiss should go, you pointed to your own cheek with a little smile and he pouted before openening his hand, placing it at his cheek. Before Julia ended her part, he blew a kiss to you as well and you, obviously, catched it too, doing the same move as him, asking where to place the kiss. Your heart stopped and you actually felt breathless when he pointed to his own mouth. You opened your hand in your mouth, placing the kiss there, winking at him with a smile and then was his part to sing again. Your heart was beating so fast on your chest that you thought you could faint at any moment. You couldn't really put together what just happened. The song came to an end and he started singing Mercy, you caught his eyes at you another time, always with, now, a smirk on his lips. After Mercy came Lost in Japan and Roses, then Khalid got in the stage, they were about to sing Youth. Out of nowhere Shawn jumped from the stage in front of you, making all the security guards almost jump on him, but he just waved to them, getting close to you while singing with Khalid that was watching the whole scene almost laughing.

"Hey, mate, do you want to make a pause for a second?" Khalid asked at the microphone, making the band stop playing when he saw Shawn getting close to you.

"I'll be quick, I promise." Shawn said looking back to him and then to the audience smiling. "Come here." he raised his hand in your direction, you were behind two girls who were screaming his name, totally fangirling, but they just got apart from each other to give you space to get to him. You took his hand, getting to the barricade and he got closer to help you jump it with the help of the security guards. "Hey." he said in the microphone looking at you.

"Hey." you said back, the whole place was screaming, you couldn't stop smiling.

"What's your name?" he asked again and you said your name to him, then he got the microphone away from you both to talk on your ear after holding you by your waist, gluing your bodies together. "If you want to, I really would love to talk to you after the show."

"I would love to." you said at the same tone, he smiled at you again, nodding. He pulled you toward one of the security guards, never letting his hand go out of your waist and then you heard him asking for the guy to take you to the side of the stage, to wait for him. You smiled at him and waved, following the big man in front of you. "Well," he said again at the microphone, walking to the side where there was a stair to the stage "Thank you guys for waiting, I think we should start the song again?" he smiled to Khalid and they started over. Shawn still sang another five songs before the show got to an end.

"Hey." a blonde woman touched your arm after Shawn left the stage, you looked at her. "Shawn asked you to go to his dressing room, follow me, please." you just nodded and followed the woman for the big hallways in the backstage. Shawn's dressing room was empty and you guessed that he was, probably, talking to someone. Taking advantage of the fact that he had not yet arrived, you tried to fix up your make up and hair, hearing the door open just when you sat at the sofa after finishing your half make over.

"Sorry, I had to shower." you heard Shawn say, seeing that his hair was wet and that suddenly all the room smelled like soap and shampoo. "I'm so glad that you accepted coming here. I couldn't take my eyes of you."

"Not to sound cocky, but I saw it." you laughed, sitting back in the sofa with him, his cheeks got the sligh pink color that always made you smile and he nodded.

"Not the best at staring discreetly, uh?"

"Well, I was there looking at you all the time, it wasn't like you could look to anywhere without me and everyone else see."

"That's true. But anyways, do you want to eat something? Oh God, I got you out of the festival, didn't even thought that you probably want to see another shows as well. Sorry. I can take you back if you want to, but-"

"Shawn, breath." you laughed and he blushed again. "I didn't want to see anyone else. I came to see you." you shrugged.

"Good. That's good." he smiled. "I mean, no, now I sounded cocky, that was not what I meant, sorry-" he started again, you raised both your eyebrows "I'll breath." he giggled, making you giggle too. "Sorry, you make me nervous."

"I make you nervous?" you pointed yourself and then him. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Hey, I get nervous around pretty girls, don't mock me."

"Shawn!" you shouted, laughing and he smiled. "You said something about food?"

"Hell yeah, I'm starving. Do you want to get something somewhere?"

"I would love to. I'm starving too." he got up and offered you his hand to help you lift up too. You got up and both of you started to walk to the door when he passed his arm around your waist, getting you closer to him.

"Is this OK?" he looked at you smiling, you smiled back, nodding, and interlacing your fingers on the fingers of his hand that was on your waist. "Let's eat something, then."

[shawnimaginesarchive]

Masterlist - Shawn By Me

All my baby boy stories are here.

Hope you guys like it, don't forget to reblog, so I can know that there's someone out there liking my stuff. 💋

1. Catching Kisses

2. Piano Lessons

3. That's a sign

4. HEY, HOLD HER , PLEASE.

5. Imagine That 01

6. Photograph

7. I don't wanna this to be another "What If" in my life PART 1 - PART 2

[shawnimaginesarchive]

Piano lessons - s.m

You were sitting on the couch watching Shawn play piano, his fingers in the instrument playing some of his own songs and some of you never heard. You always loved piano, but never learn to play it. Actually your music talent was below zero and it was kinda ironic you being girlfriend of a huge popstar. But Shawn never cared about that, he loved play his new songs to you even though you couldn't give any professional opinion. You tried once, when young, to learn to play guitar, but it was a complete disaster and you being proud as you were, never took any lessons.

"Teach me." you say, making Shawn to stop playing. He offered to teach you a thousand times, but as said, you always were too proud to that.

"Seriously?" his smile grew up looking at you and you nod. "Come here." you get up from the couch, going to him. Years of relationship teached him how to deal with you when you asked for something, knowing that a word out of place could easily make you give up.

"You know I don't know anything, so go easy on me." you say. Your body starts to feel funny, your throat closes and you bite your lower lip. Shawn knows what this means, means that you're struggling with your pride, means that if he tries to teach you happy birthday to you, you're going to get mad and will give up even before really being.

"I never go easy." he gives you a smile and take your hand and closes it, letting only your index finger pointing so he can make you play every title. "Let's hear the sound first, OK?" he says, carefully. You play every sound possible there before he starts to actually play anything real. "Follow my fingers, you'll just repeat what I do."

"OK." You nod again. Without really expect you feel Shawn picking you up and putting you between his legs, all the pride you were felling slowly being replaced by the comfort of his warm body. You do what he says and follow his fingers, one by one. He do it slow, first just one, then two, then three. It's like playing a game where you have to memorize everything and follow without help. He know that you love that kind of game. After trying to play five notes, you make your first mistake, so you hear the common sound of games failure coming from Shawn's phone. You can't help but laugh out loud. "You're stupid."

"You made a mistake." he smiles. "From the beginning, let's go." and you start all over and get to play ten notes before make another mistake. It's hard, but Shawn tries his best to make it fun, so when you least expect to, you're actually playing something. Isn't anything you know, tho.

"Which song is this?" you turn your body a little to see him. "I don't know."

"It's a new one." he shrugs. "If you play right, I'll sing it for you."

"You're mean, so mean." you laugh, but accept the challenge. It take hours, but at some point you can play what Shawn made you learn and you melt when hear his voice in your ear.

"Sunrise with you on my chest

No blinds in the place where I live

Daybreak open your eyes

'Cause this was only ever meant to be for one night

Still, we're changing our minds here

Be yours, be my dear" he sings slowly, trying to keep your rhythm. "Ooh, you know I've been alone for quite a while

Haven't I?

I thought I knew it all

Found love, but I was wrong

More times than enough

But since you came along

I'm thinking

Baby, you are bringing out a different kind of me

There's no safety net that's underneath, I'm free

Fallin' all in." you stop because there was all he teached you.

"It's sound beautiful, babe." you say turning yourself to see him. "Why you didn't showed me before?"

"I'm still working on it." he shrugs "It was supposed to be a surprise for you, but I knew it was the perfect way to keep you from giving up this."

"You know me too well." you both laugh. "Thank you, it's beautiful and I can't wait to see you singing and playing it to me."

"Soon enough you're the one who will be playing while I sing." he kisses your hair. "Hungry?"

"Starving."

[shawnimaginesarchive]

HEY, HOLD HER , PLEASE. - s.m

The one when your dog run away and Shawn catches her for you.

---------

You were new in town, just got there after getting to college to study to be veterinarian. You're walking in a park with your dog, Barbie, she is a beautiful husky, all white with some black spots and gorgeous green eyes. She have been your best friend in the last five years, the first thing you bought when moved from home, knowing that you could never leave her behind. Even though she was already five years old, she remained like a puppy, it didn't matter all the training you had with her, if she saw something she liked, she would run to get it. Most people were scared of her, but she couldn't hurt a butterfly and you knew that because all the photos you had with her and butterflies in your garden. That said, it wasn't really a surprise when she saw an squirrel in the middle of the park and ran into it, she being too strong for you to just hold her.

"Barbie, sit!" you scream, the dog giving you zero attention. All people around start to get out of her way, too afraid of being bitten. "Someone hold her, please." you scream again, no one tries to help. She's getting close to the avenue and your heart starts to race even more, not just because you're still running, but because of the fear of her being hit by a car or even a bus. "HEY, HOLD HER, PLEASE." you try once more when she gets close to a guy near to the avenue. He listens to you and tries to catch her, but she's faster. You can't hold the scream when she's about to put a paw in the avenue, but the guy just in the last second steps in the strap of her dog collar, making her stop with one gasp. You're getting close when he lowers down and hold her, petting her fur.

"Hey, good girl." he says. You get closer to them and can't help but fall down in your knees, right next to her, getting her from the stranger's arms.

"Holy shit, Barbie, you scared the hell of me." you say pulling her face to face you, like she would understand. "Oh my God, thank you so much, I thought I was going to lost her." you say, finally looking to the guy, seeing that he was no one less than Shawn Mendes. "Holy shit you're Shawn Mendes." he still petting her whe he looks at you, smiling.

"Yes I'm and you're welcome." he's smiling at you. "I shouldn't be doing this, tho." he says and you look at him without understanding. "I'm extremely allergic to dogs." he gets up, cleaning his hands in his jeans.

"You what." you try to get up too, but fail and he reaches his hand to you to hold, you get up with his help, holding tight Barbie's collar. "Oh my God you're getting red."

"I'm usually pretty blushed, but I think I'm having an allergic reaction." he says pushing the collar of his shirt. You step back, taking Barbie with you before opening your bag and reaching him a bottle of water and one pill.

"It's an anti allergic, I'm pretty allergic to dogs too." you say with one yellow smile, he reaches your hand, taking the pill without further questioning. You two keep looking at each other for one long minute before Shawn's finally have a deep breath.

"Thank you." his voice still a little cracked.

"You're welcome." you smile. "Sorry for that, thank you for saving my dog."

"You're welcome again. Why do you have a dog if you're allergic to?"

"I rescued her from my neighbor who used to beat her. I couldn't give her to anyone knowing that she could be abused again. So I have my collection of anti allergics and she stays with me." you're petting your dogs head while talking, Shawn's looking at you absolutely enchanted.

"Do you wanna grab some coffee? Pretty sure we can find a place who accepts her."

"I would love to." you smile again, starting to walk by his side while Barbie sniffs around everything, walking with you two.

[shawnimaginesarchive]

"You have no idea how drop dead gorgeous you're, have you?" you ask looking to your boyfriend. He looks back to you with one eyebrow raised.

"What do you mean?" he's in front of the bathroom mirror just getting ready to go out with you to dinner. He's wearing black jeans, as always, some social shoes and a white social shirt with the upper bottons open and the sleeves up. His hair is nicely put back and he smells so nice that you can feel even not being so close to him.

"You." you get close and sit in the sink, looking at his face like to memorize it all. "I don't think that you know how handsome you are. Because it's like a lot."

"I think I'm pretty OK." he laughs only making him even better. "Where this comes from?"

"You're always telling me how beautiful I'm and I never say it back. You have millions of fans saying but somehow I think that you don't believe them." at this point Shawn is looking at you like you were something out of this world. "You know, they are right though." you put him between your legs and start to pull your fingers in his hair. "You're so tall. And I know that this isn't really a compliment to you, but believe me, your height just makes you even better. You have a killer body." now you're passing your fingers in his abdomen. "it's like... You're so damn hot. And your eyes? Your eyes looks like two precious stones. Not only because of the color, but because they're always sparkling because you smile with them." you notice his smile getting bigger. "And besides that, you're such a good guy. That makes you even better, you know? You have a kind heart and a beautiful soul. I'm always so proud of you." you can't stop smiling and you can see tears in his eyes. "I know you still see yourself as the 14 years boy you were, but babe, you have become a handsome man, hot as fuck, the perfect boyfriend and I couldn't ask for more than that. I love you, don't you ever forget that."

[shawnimaginesarchive]

Imagine that:

You met Shawn one day at the park, you asked for a photo and when you least expected you two were dating. He was absolutely in love with you, he would talk about you for whoever wanted to hear, even though you decided to keep everything low. One day he comes home to find you dancing a song in a language that he doesn't know, but soon he realizes that is your mother language, the song is beautiful and calm, he asks you to translate for him and you do it, it's a love song. You forget about that talk, but you're always listening to this song, one day you're out, in your home country visiting your family and then you open Instagram to see him playing that song on piano, even better, he's trying to sing in your language, all cute. The caption was a simply "missing you, babe", but you couldn't help but cry because he was the most incredible boyfriend ever.

[shawnimaginesarchive]

N/A: This is actually a real story, but not mine, of course. The brazilian actress Deborah Secco told this to a magazine, that's how she met her husband.

Always remember that english isn't my first language, so I can make a lot of mistakes, but feel free to comment and help me with that.

Don't just like it, reblog it. It's really sad have to ask for this, but I can't understand why everyone just like those stuff and don't reblog. If you like and reblog, more people will see and I'll be happy to write again.

----

You have been alone for your whole life. OK, not whole, but sure it was a big part of it. You were tired of always trying to fit different guys and always end up alone and heart broken. You tried everything, nothing worked so you were tired.

You are scrolling through your Instagram search page when you find him. Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. Thick brown hair, hazel eyes and a body to kill for. You couldn't help but like almost all his pictures. For what you see he's a business man, owner of a big CD store. When you see his bio, you see that your best friend follows him and she follows almost anyone. You're ready to open your DM with her when instagram says that you have a new message.

@shawnmendes: just saw you stalking my page.

@youruser: I was about to ask you out.

@shawnmendes: sure, when?

@youruser: how about now? I'm by myself at home.

@shawnmendes: just send me the address.

You send him and it's almost midnight when the door man calls you saying that he's in the building. Live and colors he's even better, so tall that you don't even know his height, absolutely stunning, eyes like two precious stones, a smile that made you want to cry. He's definitely younger than you, but that's OK. You're one hundred per cent sure that he's the one. He come in.

"I must say that isn't everyday that I do this kind of thing." he says, you two are in the couch, drinking wine while one of your favorite CDs plays on TV.

"Me neither." you say, smiling. And it was true.

"Funny, I was talking to Anne Marie yesterday and she talked about this friend of hers that she thought it was perfect for me. It totally slipped my mind until I saw your notifications. She was talking about you."

"That's a sign." you smile and he asks for what. "That you're going to be the father of my sons."

"I would like that." he smiles again, making your body shiver.

Shawn spends the night. You can say that it was one of the best nights of your life. His hands know every place that it needs to be, his kisses slowly makes you want to take off your clothes, his body, so hard, against yours. It's all you have always asked for.

"I need to go." he says, it's almost 6AM.

"No, please, stay." you two are in bed, both naked, the sheets covering only waist down.

"I need to go to work. Need to shower. I have a home, you know?" he laughs, already sitting.

"You don't understand." you say, seriously. "Can you see that half of the closet? It's yours if you want to." you point it out. "I'm saying that to you: you're going to be the father of my children. I just know that."

He looks at you, part of him thinks that you are completely crazy, another part knows, for sure, that what you're saying it's real, what makes him completely crazy too. So he lays down again, holding you by your waist and keeping you so close to him that you could even feel his heart beating.

"Let's just set up the dates, then. And buy a toothbrush."

[shawnimaginesarchive]

Don't wanna this to be another "What If" in my life - s.m (PART 2)

A/N: Second and last part of this. Nothing here really happened to me, now on is pure fiction.

Warnings: Mention of bullying.

Summary: Someone once told me that it's always better waking up regretting doing something than waking up thinking about what would happen if you have done what you wanted.

PART 1

..............

I changed schools at the end of that same year. We never talked again, not like before. While the years passed by, social media became a thing, we never spoked again, but we had each other in every profile I made for years. I saw him going big, I saw his fame and smiled to myself as I thought that o always knew how talented he was. My heart always got warm when I listened him to sing for thousands the songs he once played only for me.

@yourusername: Go hard or go home, right?

I made a reply to his Instagram storie. He, somehow, managed to keep following me there. It took days to him to reply.

@shawnmendes: I always played hard.

I just chuckled. That was our interaction, nothing more than some replies, always me starting the whole thing.

@yourusername: you know, I always knew you would be huge some day.

I made another reply, this time to the stories of him playing on Rock in Rio.

@shawnmendes: Funny to think that in the beginning was just you listening to those songs.

@yourusername: couldn't deny that I feel proud of myself. And you, obviously.

@shawnmendes: lol good to know.

One day I was walking home from work and saw him. It was a rare occasion him being back in town, so I just got closer to him to say hi.

"Please, don't get too close." a man who looked like The Rock tried to stop me. I raised one eyebrow and Shawn looked at him, the same second he smiled.

"She's my friend, relax." he got out from behind the security and hugged me. "Long time no see. What's up?"

"Same as usual." I shrug. "Nothing compared to be the most popular popstar at the moment, right?" I smiled, was his turn to shrug, making his cheeks get red. "You know, I got to that concert."

"Wich concert?" he raised one eyebrow.

"Ed Sheeran." I answered. He looked at me like he didn't understand just to open his mouth seconds later.

"I was going to take you." he smiled. "Not fair."

"You were too busy around the world to do that." I smiled. Part true, part a lie because Ed got to the city in the same year I talked to Shawn for the last time.

"He's going to play this weekend, do you wanna go?"

"I wish, but the tickets are gone for ages now."

"Good thing I don't need this, right?" he smiled and then I remembered, he wasn't my old school mate Shawn, he was fucking Shawn Mendes, the worldwide famous singer. Also best friends with the ginger in question. "So?"

"I would love to." I smiled.

Saying that I was nervous was an understatement. My mind kept playing all kinds of scenarios where we end up kissing in the middle of some romantic song, just for after I realize that this wasn't going to happen. I couldn't say that I forgot him, that I truly and completely moved on, it was the biggest lie in the world, but I couldn't say that I was still in love with him either. I wasn't. The big problem was that Shawn always were the biggest "What If" of my life. "What If" I had the balls to say to his face that I was in love with him? "What If" we had never stopped talking to each other? "What If" I had kissed him that day despite the stupid situation? "What If" I had said to him why I stopped talking with him? What if? What if? I hated all those questions, I hated how every single PMS I had, when all my life make no sense, I always wanted to DM him just to say "Hey, you know I was totally in love with you, don't you?"/"You can't be that stupid to never think that I stopped to talking to you because that stupid idea of accepting money to kiss me.". Gosh, I really hated how many times I asked myself if he didn't accept because he was, in fact, in love with me too, but didn't know how to react. So this night I was decided that he wasn't going to be the biggest" What If" of my life, that if I saw the smallest indicator that he wanted to kiss me, I would go for it. I was tired of "What If", for once I needed to be sure of something, anything really, in our story.

He picked me exactly 6:30PM. His white jeep stopped at my house and I wasn't really believing that we were actually, after almost teen years, going to the concert he always said he was going to take me. The crowd was insane at the place, but all that took to us was Shawn call the only and one Ed Sheeran, seconds later we got free access to the backstage. Not only I met the ginger man in person, he also gave us great VIP space. Unfortunately we weren't alone, almost all Shawn's crew were there with us and with that we didn't speak much. Not that I was expecting to have deep chats about our childhood, but I guess I was expecting something. Anything.

"I remember singing this to you." I heard Shawn saying at my ear when Ed started to sing Give me love, getting me a little scared since he was not paying attention to me at all, just talking and singing with his friends.

"I remember too." I smiled. "And that your dad almost killed you because of the noise." I laughed, getting a smile of him.

"I got a lot of screams on our late chats." he laughed. "But I didn't care, I liked talking to you, playing to you. You liked my stuff even when it was crap."

"Well," I turned to face him. "half of the songs I heard that time are now world famous songs, I guess it wasn't all crap, right?"

"They're better now." he smiled, his cheeks getting red. "Everything's better now."

"I sure it is." I smiled one last time before turning again to the stage, but he held my hand and turned me around to face him again before spinning me around, making me dance. "What are you doing?" I laughed.

"Dancing. This is a great dance song." he held my body against his, I laughed again, trying not to show that I was going insane with his touch. We danced to the end of Give love and for almost all U.N.I. We were dancing and laughing, clearly both of us pretending that that contact wasn't making us shy, pretending that we were the same friends we were that time. At some point he pushed me closer and held me tight, singing at my ear. "So am I close to you anymore if it's over? And there's no chance that we'll work it out?" I felt my whole body shake and couldn't help but sigh. "I never understood why you stopped talking to me."

"You can't be serious." I gave him a sad laugh, he looked at me with both eyebrows raised. "Are you serious, Shawn? You accept money to kiss me, your dumbass. I was head over heels for you and you actually accepted money to kiss me. And worse, you did that in front of all class. Not enough you actually tried to kiss me. How the fuck I was supposed to act after that?" he kept looking at me like I was saying the most absurd thing in the world until his face fall completely, finally understanding what I was talking about.

"You can't be serious." he passed his fingers through his hair. "You can't be fucking serious." he laughed letting me go for a moment, I kept looking at him until he got closer again "For Christ's sake, I was in love with you and I didn't know how to show this. When in hell you saw a 13 old boy act like a decent person?"

"You? You were in love with me?" it was my time to raise my eyebrows.

"I spend nights and nights singing and playing to you, God dammit." he was completely frustrated, but I couldn't help the laugh of desperation that I left out, he looked at me without understanding a single thing.

"I can't believe. I spend years of my life asking myself this, if you could be in love with me too, but I always thought that I was making you a good guy. Good guys don't get money to kiss girls. You seriously didn't thought one single time that this was the reason?"

"No!" he almost screamed. "I mean, I thought that... I don't even know. Why you didn't talked to me then? I tried to talk to you a whole week."

"Shawn! My gosh, I was humiliated!!! It was written in my face how in love I was with you and I was absolutely nothing to you, you never tried anything until the day the girl who hated me offered you money to kiss me. Do you have any idea how screwed I got after that? How many nights I slept crying, asking to God or anyone else why I was so fucking disgusting to you only wanting to kiss me if you got paid?" Shawn's face was of complete sadness. We kept looking at each other for almost all the time Ed sang I'm a mess until I broke the eye contact when Photograph started, so I just turned around to watch the song, but couldn't get it to the end, I started to feel like I was going to get sick, the nod in my stomach that I always felt when I was ready to cry out loud. "Excuse me." I said so lower that not even I heard before getting out of that space, looking for a bathroom. That backstage card was my salvation since no one stopped me while I ran to the first door I found open. It was hard to breath, it was hard to keep the tears, it was hard to think. All I wanted was scream until my throat were hurting.

"Please, open the door." I heard Shawn's voice, but didn't move a finger. "Please, please, please open the door and let me try to fix it." his voice was almost breaking.

"It's too late, Shawn. You can't fix anything now." my voice was broken, I knew I sounded like someone who was about to die breathless.

"Please, open the door. I can't..." he let his voice die. We kept in silence for some seconds, I could hear his breath outside. "I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry for making you cry, for accepting that stupid money, for never say how in love I was with you. I hate myself right now, I hate myself for making you feel bad about yourself because gosh, I workshiped you that time, you were the best part of my day, when I felt out of place you were there, behind the screen, making me feel like I worth it. And I made you feel the opposite, I can't believe that." he punched the door, scaring me. "I'm sorry, please open the door, please let me try, I don't even know how, fix it."

"I hated myself for years because of you." I said. "I felt the worse person in the world because I wasn't good enough to be your friend anywhere but online. I asked myself every day why you laughed at my face by day when by night you were the sweetest guy on earth." I beat the door with my head, letting the tears go. "I tried to move on, you know? I can't say that I'm still in love with you, but God knows how many nights I still waste asking the universe what would happen if we had kissed, if I had said how I felt about you."

"O wish I had done better. I wish I had said to you that I always wanted to push Layla's face when she made fun of you, but I was so scared. God, I was so scared of being her punch bag again that I let you be. I can't believe how stupid I was." I turned myself to face the door before opening it to see Shawn crying. His face was all red, all wet of tears. Before I could say anything he held me, hugging me so close that I couldn't breathe, but I didn't care and just let both of us cry.

"I..." I sigh. "It's better if I go home. I'll take a Uber."

"Please don't." he said. "I mean, I can take you home, I brought you here."

"That's OK." I shook my head denying. "You can go back, I'm sure Ed will look for you after the show so you two can chat. You know I don't live far away."

"Ed is the last thing I care about now. Please, let me take you home." he was holding my shoulders, I just nod. We started to walk to the exit and all the way home was in complete silence. "I'm sorry, really." he said when he got to my house.

"That's OK. Now I can finally move on completely." I looked at him. "I needed this whole thing." he leaned in my direction to kiss my cheek, but I turned around and made his lips touch mine, slowly he asked for permission so he could really kiss me and I let him. The kiss was slow, salty, full of something from the past, full of sorry and thinking how this should have happened teen years ago. I felt butterflies, I know he felt too, but it haven't any fireworks, any new feeling but the feeling of closure.

"So...?" he asked, whispering, his breath against my lips.

"I finally found my closure, thank you." I whispered back. "Next time use our story to remind you that you should always tell the girl how you feel. And don't be a dick."

"I will." he gave me a sad laugh. I got out of the car and got into the house, knowing that finally, after ten years, I finished one chapter of my life that I wasn't pretending to read again.

.................

Aaaaaaaand that's it. Maybe I cried a little, what about you? Hope you liked it.

[shawnimaginesarchive]

Don't wanna this to be another "What If" in my life - s.m (PART 1)

A/N: Way too long without writing something for Shawn. It was supposed to be with the guys from 5sos (you can check out my imagines there), but I decided to do with Shawn. Some things here are real, it happened to me at 6th grade and Shawn may be actually he positively is inspired by the first guy I really liked.

Warnings: Mention of bullying.

Summary: Someone once told me that it's always better waking up regretting doing something than waking up thinking about what would happen if you have done what you wanted.

.............

We met in 6th grade. I would say that I liked him at first, but maybe this could be a lie, I don't remember this well today, but I can say that I fell in love at that same year.

I was always the new girl, my dad was always moving because of his job, I never got more than two years at the same school and that happened when I was three. I hated being the new girl, always too shy, I was always bullied by everyone else, even more when everyone else was friends with everyone else since kindergarten and I was there for the first time. In that year it wasn't different. The popular girl discovered me soon as I got to the school and from the first day to the last one she bullied me. It was nothing too serious, it was nothing that would made a big story like 13 reasons why, she was just mean, she laughed every time I asked a question, she made everyone ignores me, nothing that I couldn't deal with, but what hurt most was the day she decided to use him against me.

I wasn't this close to Shawn, I mean, I was way too shy for that, he was way too friend with the popular people to be with me against them and no to count the fact that at 13 boys are just plain mean to girls like me. At school he was always teasing me, always laughing at my face, but at night, online, he was the sweetest guy on earth.

Saturday, 05:30 PM.

@shawnmendes: Hey, I just learned a new song, do you wanna listen to it?

@yourusername: Sure. Which one?

@shawnmendes: I'm gonna call you to video chat. I think you're going to like this one.

@yourusername: Sure.

Less than two minutes later his face was all over my computer screen, he was smiling with the guitar in his hands.

"You didn't say the song." I smiled looking at him. I was already in my pj's, he was with some band t-shirt.

"Right." he chuckles. "you said you loved Beatles, I learn how to play All my loving." he was still smiling, I felt my stomach drop and couldn't help but giving him the biggest smile on earth. He started to play the guitar, his eyes looking to what he was doing, trying to do everything right. He started to sing and it was like I was listening to some angel. Part of me always said that it was because I was so deeply in love with him, but another part said that he was just talented. That was my favorite song, played by my favorite person, I couldn't be happier. "Hey dad." he says looking at the door, I can hear his dad asking why he isn't ready to go out. "Oh, I just thought about staying tonight. You can go and have fun with Al." he smiled and looked at me, his dad asked if he was sure, he nodded. "Well, I'm guessing that tonight I'm not going to need to be quiet." he laughed, making me laugh too. "What do you wanna hear next?"

"What about Baba O'Riley?" I said after thinking for a while.

"How about a song that I can actually play in an acoustic guitar without making fool of myself?" he laughed, I shrug. "If you promise me that you will not make fun of me, I'll sing a original song to you."

"Definitely yes." I clapped my hands. He started playing and I could say he was too nervous about that.

"You're the first person that I show this, please be kind." he gives me a nervous smile and I nod. "I've never been a fan of heartbreak, so tell me what you want. Take my hands across your body, we don't have to hold on. Oh no, we don't need to overcomplicate it, 'cause I've been here once before don't even say it. Baby, please, no promises, 'cause we won't keep our promises and I know the consequences, so baby please, baby please no promises." even if he started nervously, he finished it calmly, he got the confidence to sing and play over the time.

Monday, 09PM

@shawnmendes: what do you mean you never saw him live? He's here like every year almost. Twice!

@yourusername: sorry if I don't have anyone to take me to concerts and my parents are too overprotective to let me go alone.

@shawnmendes: I can take you sometime. I can't believe you haven't see it yet.

@yourusername: let me know next time he's here and we go together.

Thursday, 7PM.

@yourusername: I hate math. I hate it so much.

@shawnmendes: I hate chemistry.

@yourusername: how can you hate chemistry and be so friends with our teacher? And your grades are great, so shut up.

@shawnmendes: being good at it doesn't mean that I love it.

I got used to our friendship, I got used to him making fun of me during the day and being my friend at night, I got used to him ditching some friends to sped weekends playing guitar to me online, I got used to our talks, to our jokes, to our world outside the school. It wasn't perfect, but I had him. A year and a half later and nothing had changed. I was still in love with him, our friendship was still pretty much online and as much as I wanted to believe that my crush for him wasn't written in my forehead, it was, so one day Laila decided to use it against me.

"You should end the poor girl once for all, Shawn." We were at free time, I was sitting on my chair eating cookies while he and she was standing in front of me. He glanced to me, but just for a moment before giving back his attention to her. "You know what? I give you ten bucks if you kiss her." she smiles in my direction. In that moment I felt my heart stop, I felt my hands sweat, I felt like I couldn't breathe, but nothing compared to what I felt when he answered her.

"Only if you pay for the movies too." he smiled. I couldn't believe, I looked at them in complete shock, not wanting to believe that he actually accepted money to kiss me. It took me all my strength to not start to cry right there.

Monday, 7PM.

@shawnmendes: did you get the answer to the 2th question?

@shawnmendes: Hey? I can see you online.

@shawnmendes: why are you ignoring me?

I didn't answer to that. I didn't answer for the whole week, but he kept trying to talk to me. Friday the school decided to do a little Halloween party, we all dressed up, I was a cute school girl. The party was just for us eating some snacks and pretend to be happy there, even though I never answered Shawn, he got close to me and held my waist. I felt like the whole world had stop turning, he smiled at me, leaning toward me and that was when I remembered the money. I slapped his chest, going away from him.

Friday, 9PM.

@shawnmendes: what the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you so mad at me?

@yourusername: I can't believe you're actually asking me that, Shawn.

@shawnmendes: How am I supposed to know? You didn't talked to me for the whole week.

@yourusername: I'm pretty sure that if you make the slightly effort you're going to discover that.

..............

SO. I'm going to stop here and make a second part, deal? It will make sense, I promise. As I said, this happened to me, the whole thing, actually. Unfortunately it wasn't with Shawn, but yeah 😂 😂

PART 2