#Shan's personal rants

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Thinking about opening a photography sideblog although I don't know about photography and I rarely take pics.

Anyway, here are some pics from today:

[undeadorion]

I suppose i should be grateful that this time I found out early enough to just run away.

Super late in a past relationship my partner confessed they’d previously been banned from tumblr for Thor/Loki porn. But with the super young teenager Loki. Super explicit stuff, too.

Then my old RP partner. We were real life friends. For over a decade. I played Thor, she played Loki. For years. She knew I was aggressively against them being shipped together and that I adored exploring their complex brotherly relationship.

In a very emotional scene, Thor was trying to show Loki he did not care that Loki was part frost giant. But my friend “misread” the intention and in her reply Loki slammed Thor into the wall and started kissing him. I made her delete it. Because what the fuck. I felt downright violated. This was something I ranted about on a regular basis. It’s not something you just suddenly misread.

But it didn’t end there. When we would hang out in person she’d re-enact the scene on me. Physically. She never went for the kiss, but she’d push me against the wall and say the line Loki had said. I’m 6 feet tall. She’s barely over 5 feet. Even before my transition I had a very masculine build so I was terrified that shoving her away in a panic would be taken the wrong way so I just froze. I tried telling her to stop but then a few weeks later she’d “forget” and do it again. As a joke, she said.

I let it get too far in the past. So now encountering incest shippers who see no issue in it make my fucking blood boil. I play in very, very dark kinks. Things that would have people calling for my head in even kink positive circles. But I keep it to a separate blog. I plaster warnings everywhere. I ensure that if someone doesn’t want to see something like that they won’t see it. If I see people complaining that anyone would ever write that, I leave them be. I’m not at the deepest levels of perversion but I’m close. There are a few layers deeper that I think are genuinely vile and will recoil from. But I leave them to do their own thing as long as they’re not forcing it on me. And still I think incest is too fucking far.

[twig-tea]

Top 5 Couple Fights

Oooooooh this is fun! Thank you for a relatively easy category because so often the fights in these shows are unearned and it is very frustrating. I'm still limiting myself to 2023!

Wen and Alan, Moonlight Chicken

This fight felt real, it felt lived in, and it felt heartbreaking even though we only saw some of it. These two men love each other, but love isn't enough to keep them together, and that realization is as heartbreaking as the fight itself.

My Personal Weatherman

I am obsessed with the fights in My Personal Weatherman because the characters often don't know they're in one, or are in two different fights at the same time. This is all tied to how much I love how well the miscommunication is done in this show. These fights are legible based on what we know about these characters and what they've seen, even when they're completely unnecessary, and I adore that. Of course the best one is the ending fight and not just because Segasaki ties up Yo's wrists in his shirt.

Jack O'Frost

[Not enough gifs of this actual fight and I need to finish this list so this is what you get]. The fight at the very start of this show escalated so quickly, at first I wasn't sure about it even while I appreciated the performances and the intimate way it was shot. But when we get the backstory and we finally understand how much has been withheld and said vs. not said between them, and where their anxieties were rooted and the source of these big feelings, this fight makes so much more sense. This is a show that really benefits from being watched more than once.

La Pluie

[for some reason tumblr is giving me this link to Shan's blog rather than @liyazaki so tagging you, friend!]

Patts was pushed and pushed and pushed, and he lashed out in his insecurity, and when he asked for reassurance (this lineeee) Saengtai refused to give it to him and instead lashed out out of his own insecurity. This was a painful fight that was fully earned; all of the characters and their choices were legible even as they were infuriating. And it led to a critical awakening of Saengtai who was so caught up in his own sad boy narrative he hadn't realized how much he was hurting everyone around him.

My Beautiful Man S2

Kiyoi and Hira's communication issues continuing past S1 is very believable. I said elsewhere that Hira's work on his self-worth is more like a spiral than a straight line and that's very relatable and realistic. Kiyoi being hurt by Hira not valuing Kiyoi's feelings was such an important lesson for Hira to get more than once. Again, so earned, and resulted in the characters self-reflecting and moving a little closer to whatever a healthy relationship means for these two lol

Laws of Attraction

How much do I Love Tinn seeing right through Charn and Charn being big mad at him for Perceiving him so well? All of their fights are so good because they're about boundaries and mutual respect at their core, and they actually listen to one another and are based on how well they know one another (rather than what so often happens, when the characters seem to forget who the person they're in love with actually is). This barely counts as fight but I love it and it's my list so it stays.

Bonus entry that's only for me (shh stop counting the above):

Mr. Cinderella S2

Nobody but me and like 2 other people watched this show, but I'm actually obsessed with the couple fight in Mr. Cinderella s2 so thank you for the chance to rant about it on main some more. I need to start by saying: this plot is ridiculous and the ending sucks. But within this show, Dung and Khoa have an established relationship that has been tested in S1 and is being tested harder in S2, and to a point, they actually stand together and weather the storm, and it was rewarding to watch. And then slowly everything happening ("everything" here being an ABSURD amount of melodrama) starts to wear on Khoa, who sees himself as the one solely responsible for everything, and he unlearns some of what he learned in s1, he stops relying on Dung as his support, stops telling Dung what's going on because he doesn't want to burden him, and stops trusting Dung's word about what is happening. And so, when the jealousy plot hits, it's actually believable that Dung would be mad at Khoa, not for cheating, but for not respecting Dung as a partner in their relationship. It's well done, I wish so much that it were in a better show so that I could actually recommend anyone watching (I don't). I've seen this trope (assumed cheating) done so badly and so unearned in so many shows, this was so refreshing.

Extra bonus: Best couple fight scene of all time?

Gameboys S2

[I give up on gifs of this scene; have them upset for other reasons instead!]

What I love about the way they fight in this show is that, beyond it being earned etc. etc., the dialogue is so raw. They repeat themselves, they just yell over one another, they get rude, they try saying something to de-escalate and it gets worse instead. This is not a carefully crafted speech, or a single perfectly delivered devastating line; this is raw emotion. I recognize this fight, I've been in this fight, this is what I sound like when I fight lol And we see them really fight at least twice, and the way they fight in ep8 has changed as a result of the earlier fight is also SO good.

[heydranga]

Hey welcome back to random thoughts with yours truly.

Today's random thought is about mulan.

I think the Huns/hans? Are better people then the men from china.

Let me explain!

They aren't sexist at all. They saw a village and killed everyone leaving no survivors. Shan Yu saw Mulan was a woman and wasn't like "A woman defeated me?" Nah he was like "The SOLDIER from the mountains" he saw Mulan as an equal regardless of her gender.

In the og story when mulan was discovered she became the emperors concubine and committed suicide.

In the disney version she would have been killed by shang if she didn't save his life.

Also shout out to Ling, Yao, and Chin Po. They saw her fight and we're like nah that's our equal we all would have died without her brain power bro.

Also Shang should have been gay, let's be honest.

Anyway, I feel like Mulan's father was the goat because you know he taught her how to ride a horse and he probably would have thrown hands with any man who dared to mistreat his daughter. He knew his daughter was a tomboy and encouraged it for years. You also know he adored his wife as his equal rather than as someone who should give him sons.

The Huns mostly likely treated women the same way. I don't get how the only way a woman can bring honor to her family is by giving birth to sons. Like come on. "We need more people for the war but oh no not women" what type of sense does that make?

I've recently discovered that some people ship Mulan and Shan Yu at first I didn't get it but then I actually thought about how he would at least look at Mulan as a equal rather than an enemy.

Also disney never gave the reason why The Huns had beef with the emperor.

Now onto the 2 mulan movie. The emperor was ready to give all his daughters to a man he himself never met. That's like sending your children to a harem or pimping them out to strangers.

Shang out right pissed me off in the 2nd Mulan movie. Like I get it Mushu was wrong for trying to split them up but I feel like he was revealing how their relationship was always rocky. Shang didn't even bother to really listen to Mulan or ask her opinion on what she wanted.

Like when the villagers were asking questions they were literally opposites. How do you expect Mulan to give you as many children as possible did you not catch on in the time you guys have been dating that Mulan loves her independence and that she didn't want to be the one stuck at home with the children while you did whatever?

When Shang was thought to have been dead I was excited I was like yes now Mulan to live out her life as a Kung Fu master who trains girls to be their own person. Then the whole I'll marry the prince in the princesses place thing happened and I gagged.

Love should never be treated as a 1 way street or a way to control or to make ends meet. You either see each others as equals, think of each others feelings, ask what the other wants out of life and see if it has conflicting interests, actually communicate your problems rather then being quick to start a fight or dismiss the other.

Ugh anyway that was my rant, have a nice day, stay safe out there.

[thisworldisablackhole]

The Rise of Endymion, by Dan Simmons - 2.5/5

Finally wrapped up the Hyperion Cantos. It's a bitter sweet moment. This final book is hard for me to talk about. I could probably write a thousand words about it, but I'll try to keep it brief, because brevity is the soul of wit. Something Dan Simmons could have considered, perhaps.

The Rise of Endymion was a struggle to get through, to be honest. The prior book (simply; Endymion) was a fun, action packed interplanetary man hunt with relatively consistent pacing and enough turns and twists to keep things engaging. This one is hardly any of those things. The pacing in this book was straight up bad. Simmons' writing is at it's best when things are happening, but every time some form of action happened in this book, it was cornered by ten page descriptions of clouds and the colour of peoples clothes that frustratingly interrupted the flow. Hell, the entire section on T'ien Shan felt like a data dump with only brief sections of actual plot movement. The monologues were also so rough to sit through because it felt like Simmons was just using character speeches as another way to dump data, summarizing things we already know and tying up loose ends that honestly would have been better left as mysteries.

Aenea and Raul continue to be shallow characters as well, which is nothing new, but this time the good characters weren't utilized enough to make a difference. Raul displays some incredibly eye rolling and predictable behavior during the course of the book as Aenea turns into some flat, robotic guru figure. She's supposed to be the symbol of empathy, but her emotions were not convincing in the slightest (I guess she is part cybrid after all). Aenea and Raul's entire relationship just bordered on creepy and unbelievable. The only interesting development from Aenea was at the very very end where she shows an uncharacteristic burst of impulsivity and rage. Father De Soya still remains the best character, even though he was absent for large chunks of the story, and A. Bettik had hardly any presence at all. The Shrike still shows up but isn't even scary or interesting anymore because it's basically the good guy now. Most of the other side characters were forgettable, there were simply too many of them to keep track of in the first place.

I can count the actual exciting moments in this book on one hand. It's way longer than it needs to be, it's packed full of unnecessary information that disrupts the flow, it's cringe inducing and ridiculous at times. It's also very, very heavy on the romance and religious philosophy. Simmons is lucky that I mostly agree with and respect his feelings on religion, or I probably would have stopped reading it. Organized and corrupt religious institutions are the bad guy in Simmons' books, but he also preaches the beauty of faith and love and ability to choose what one believes in without judgement. It's all wonderful stuff, but sometimes it's so on the nose that it feels like a personal rant from the author.

Despite all of that, I still loved this book. Simmons really turned things around in the last 150 pages or so, and wrote the best possible ending that he could have, which was a total shock to me as the endings of all the previous books were pretty lackluster. It made the entire slog feel so worth it. It was riveting, tragic, beautiful, profound, it put me in tears, god damnit. I was weeping like a child. Not only because of how good it was, but also because it hurt to close the last page on a world and characters that I've spent the last four and a half months immersed in. Would I recommend it? Not really... but despite how utterly disappointing this book was at times, I still feel forever changed by the world and philosophy of the series, and I'm glad I stuck it out to the end.

[chirpingraven]

I finally finished a sky beyond the storm and my heart is broken 💔 anw I need to rant ‼️ BEWARE SPOILERS‼️

I love Laia and her character development. I think it's realistic to see how she grows from the scared and anxious girl in the first book to a strong, brave, dependable woman that she is in the last. I actually can't see why anyone would hate on her character. Realistically speaking, who wouldn't be scared if they were in Laia's shoes? And despite her fear and anxiety in earlier books, I think she handled herself pretty well. A strong female character doesn't always have to be a badass, sarcastic, bitchy girlboss. Laia shows that she can be as much of a girlboss with her patience, grace, understanding, and softness.

Elias, I don't know how to start with him. I FREAKING LOVE HIM. I think in my list of best male characters, he's pretty much up there. He's a strong and reliable leader, a trusting and lovable friend, and a very, very, VERY selfless human being. Reading his POVs as the Soul Catcher just breaks my heart. It hurts to see how a vibrant and passionate life like Elias reduced to an unfeeling creature of death. He used to have so many interactions with everyone around him, and as the Soul Catcher he can't do that. And Mauth just pisses me off the whole time. HOW COULD U DO THIS TO MY POOR BOY? 😭 Anw I'm glad he got the happy ending he deserves. I personally hoped for a much grander ending for him and a much grander and tear-jerking "welcome back to life" from his family and friends (as if I haven't cried enough 🥲), but well at least he's happy. Also his interaction with Mirra and the others in the Waiting Place before his time as the Soul Catcher was up is just *chef's kiss*.

Helene, Helene, my poor baby. You've suffered enough and lost probably more than anyone. This woman watched her whole family, her friends, the love of her life murdered in front of her eyes. The odds are stacking against her, and yet she survives. After so many losses and defeats, she finally wins. Loyal to the end indeed (that motto is going to haunt me for the rest of my life 🥲💔). She grows from someone who is ignorant of the Empire's sins, serving it blindly, to someone who accepts the Empire for its good and bad, accepts her own sins, and does her best to fix everything. I love how she finally accepts her feelings, her anger and grief and her love for Avitas. I think I should learn a thing or two from her.

I love all the characters, not just the main three, but the others as well. I love Avitas, ever so patient and loyal to Helene. I love Livia, what a gentle and determined soul. I love Musa with his teasings and jokes and loyal, tragic love. I love Darin with his brotherly love and boyish interaction with Elias. Afya, Gibran, Aubarit, Tas, Mamie, Shan, Quin, Faris, Dex. I even love Keris and the Nightbringer as villains. They make me furious but I also sympathize with them. I understand where their actions are coming from.

I love the relationships. Laia and Elias. Helene and Avitas. Helene and Faris last scene was heartbreaking, as did Helene and Livia. Helene and Musa's friendship is a breath of fresh air--and is that a possible romance between them I'm sensing? Though I see them more as siblings who bond with each other for their shared loss of loved ones. Elias and Helene duo is back at it again and I couldn't stop punching the air when it happened. Elias and Darin interactions always make me smile. Elias and Avitas's brotherhood, too beautiful and too short lasting. Elias and Mirra's "pass the baton" moment, as well as Mirra acknowledging him as her son-in-law 🥹 Also the relationship I didn't expect to make me cry so hard: Keris and Karinna. Keris finally accepting her fate and Karinna finally crossing to the other side. Do you think Karinna knows that Elias is her grandson?

I love the fights. I love the battle strategies. I love how everyone plays their respective parts in the battle against the Nightbringer. I absolutely love how Elias and Helene command and unite their respective armies.

I was hoping for more Elias and Keris interaction, honestly. I got the feeling that even after all she's done, deep down Keris still loves Elias and is afraid of that feeling. I think she's much like Helene in that matter. I also think that Elias doesn't really get the appreciation he deserves, but maybe I'm just biased lol.

That being said, I think this book is a very satisfying ending to close the main characters' journey, except for Helene's love life lmao help 🥲 but I think it's realistic enough. After all it'd be too convenient if all the main characters and their loved ones survive, and Sabaa Tahir has made brave choices in killing some of the major characters. In conclusion, I'm pretty satisfied with the ending and I love this series and its characters so much. Goodbye, embers in the ashes. Thank you for bringing me along in your journey ✨

[shaved-wampa]

Welcome to Shaved Wampa!

Hi. I'm Nara and I'm in many fandoms, but this blog is for Star Wars (and Noshir Dalal, lmao) exclusively. I'm still working on my 2 SW WIPs, so I have no fic to share with you just yet - but I have started drawing again, and the cutie above is one of my SW original characters.

Favorite characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Theron Shan, Bode Akuna (and many more, but these two are my writing inspiration and will be heavily features on this blog - read my linked rant if you have a problem with Bode, perhaps I can change your mind)

Favorite part/story: The Clone Wars

Yes I am a real person, but since I'm either way too late with my thoughts (Obi) or think of way too niche things (Bode), I mostly just end up reblogging. Now that I produce art, I'm hoping to toss one in here now and then. Perhaps decorating my blog with art of my OCs will inspire me to get off my ass and finish those fics xD

[vongola-renaissance]

Anyway, I made this blog to scream about khr whenever I want so hi, feel free to follow and interact!!!! 🥺✨💕

[shanaraki]

It's been two years, four months.

The scream is still stuck in my throat, so that's the reason why I don't see your photos anymore. I avoid your music, I don't visit your house anymore. I wear your shoes, I say they are yours, but they feel mine. It's safe.

And yet, some nights I am too slow. Some days I let my guard down and the walls bleed and leak and the floors bend and the roofs shake and fall. Some nights, I forget you're dead.

And I wonder, if things could be better tomorrow after eating in your kitchen, my heads always turned towards you like a flower to the sun. There was a special dish, my favorite, that only you cooked. I haven't eaten in two years. And someone else can cooked, but now I know —for before I was just making time— I will never eat it again.

You went again and left an axe in the middle of my chest. I healed around it, grew around it, there's no bleeding anymore. Except tonight. Your picture sank the axe a little more, and I can see myself once more, eyes closed, saying in my mind "take me instead".

I go back in time. I was always with you. I used your clothes since a was a kid, I slept next to you, talked you to sleep. And you cried for me so many times. I used to scream when leaving your home. I used to cry too. I was a kid already mourning your absence.

You were my soul back in time, grandma. To you I dedicated my first poetry. I gave you my medals, I gave you my heart. I use your clothes, I close my eyes and see your smile, I feel your hands in mine, I hear your voice singing to me.

I can't breath tonight. I must be silent, I sleep beside my sister and mom. And there's this scream trapped in my throat, in my lungs. I wonder if I'll ever find the chance to let it out.

I don't wish for more time. I don't regret how I spent my time with you. I let you know how much I loved you every minute. I kissed your forehead that night, I was there I was there Iw as there. I said goodbye on our own way.

I push you back into my heart, because I don't know yet how to handle this pain. It hurts every 27th since you're gone. And now it's Christmas and I wish, I wish to see you. I keep the hope of dying one day to reach your side. If I'm good enough, if I do things right. All this life is nothing, I'd live every minute wondering what would I have to do to go back to your side.

One day. So long for now. But one day.

One day I'll be able to breath again.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Why do people act like art/entertainment taste is the equivalent of morality??

Because seriously, "good" or "bad" taste is only subjective and it doesn't matter at all. We all like different stuff and we have our reasons for it, but unless your reason goes hand in hand with actual actions trying to hurt others, it doesn't matter.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

There's a story I've been meaning to write for almost 20 years. It has changed with me through the years and even as I've been waiting for it to fade, it hasn't.

I don't know how I'm going to write it, but at this point I'm sure I should. One way or another, this story won't leave me alone until I write it.

I'm being haunted.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Voting is terrifying in a country where both options with the most probabilities to win are terrible and crazy and people might know who you vote for.

I don't know which is the better side ('cause there is no right side) and my choice would impact a lot of people and I'm responsible for it. Still any of the options will bring me hell if it's known.

If I vote for a person that would definitely not win and that I don't even know that much about, well, I risk people from the two most prominent parties hating me forever.

I have had stress dreams about voting, this makes me nauseous, I hate this lose-lose situation.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

What is keeping me sane at the age of 24 is the little improvement/achievements btw.

We've attended so many funerals in the last few years that the funeral boss is friends with my dad now, but today I made my first pasta and ate a whole bowl. I've been on the bachelor final project limbo for four years now, but I'm opening secret accounts to my name that my parents shouldn't know about. I can't tell my psychologist about my queer side or the trauma hiding it has caused, but my sister learned how to drive and we can go to the mall alone now.

It's the little ways that I know I have a life worth living and I'm moving forward despite my anxiety and that better things are ahead.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Anyone else feel as sad when you hear the words you wanted to hear years ago, but now they mean nothing because you don't need them anymore and you know they are just empty words?

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

My right eyelid has been twitching for 4 days now and I really should take a break from screens...

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

I did my best on a job in May so I could get paid 300$ !!!!

150$ is for the psychiatrist and the anxiety pills

(scare shitless to try them, but at least 5 different doctors told me there's nothing wrong with me physically but the anxiety started to change other things in my body and is kinda dangerous haha)

100$ I'll try to invest in whatever TwT

There are 10$ I promised someone

Which leaves me with 40$ to either use on my friends (I've been wanting to give them gifts, but I didn't have my own money for it) or actually use it in something I need (there's so much going on in my life and this fucking country is so expensive!!)