#Set File Name of Ole Object | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thr-333 · 4 years ago

Note

Could you possibly do one where Mari/Mari and marine is/are the daughter/son of the joker?

I actually planned quite a lot for this after you asked but could never get my thoughts to make something comprehensive so I give up here's what I got!:

-Twins are Joker and Harleys kids born before the two split up(and so help me they will split up this story needs gay aunt Ivy)

-As you might know, these two clowns have another kid; Lucy. Harley left Lucy with her sister when she was born. In canon, she thinks Harley is her aunt but I would say in this fic she learned the truth when the twins were also dropped off.

-So the twins grew up in Gotham with their aunt and big sister knowing full well who their parents are; as such they make the responsible choice to suppress every part of themselves that resembles them and constantly dye their hair in an effort to avoid looking like them. You know healthy coping mechanisms. -

-Naturally, Marinette has brown hair with blue eyes and Marion blonde with brown eyes.

-Their personalities are a bit different from Mismatch.

-Marion is still a trickster and a trouble maker but this time around has Marinette fully involved and responsible for his shenanigans. He has a bit of a habit of talking to himself(or singing random phrases), sometimes in the third person; he hates when he does, so Marinette always tells him off. He’s always gets the impulse of dying his hair outlandish colors and will vehemently deny his favorite color is green.

- Marinette is crafty, both figuratively and literally. She’s smart, her mother is a doctor after all she can be manipulative to people that arent her(close) family to protect the ones she cares about. She has a deep-seated fear of becoming a trophy, an object to be put on display like her mother and so dresses the opposite and pushes away her love for fashion.

-They will always call each other Mari but if someone else tries they both answer its a nickname they strictly use for each other.

-In a world where Gotham exists it makes absolutely no sense that Gabriel wouldn't start his reign as Hawkmoth in Gotham(the place with the most negative emotions like geez) so that works out perfectly for the twins becoming heroes(Adrien can move to Gotham or be left in Paris to be kept safe your choice)

-Instead of the twins proving themselves by helping an old man up off the street they go a step further is beating up the thugs that try to rob him(all Fu’s set up of course). When they come home to find two mysterious boxes on their beds they make the only rational conclusion children of the joker would; it’s a bomb!

-Not wanting to get the police involved for obvious reasons they find the security footage(which gets the police involved in a different way) and start tracking down fu to see why he’s trying to kill him.

-And as you may recall at this point in canon Ladybug and Chat Noir are defeating an Akuma, well they're not here they’re off to beat up an old man so thats Batman’s job for the time being.

-The twins get caught up in the fight as civilians and are saved by Batman who immediately recognizes them(you don't think Batman has case files on all of Jokers hellspawn?) so that’s gonna be a problem later but never mind that for now~

-The twins track down Fu, who is wondering why they aren’t out fighting the Akuma. Long story short Fu comes back to the house with them and proves they aren't bombs giving them the miraculous.

-I’m a bit indecisive on the names. I thought Marinette would be Red Bug and Marion Black Cat(yes I know that names already taken I don’t care). But I thought Crimson Bug would work better because then their names would start with the same letters. Then I wanted alliteration like Black Bug and Crimson Cat but that obviously doesn't make any sense since Chats color is green not red-- then I realized it would be completely in character for them to call themselves that confusing everyone in the process so no one quite sure whos name is who(if you wanna write it go with whatever I just thought it could be funny)

-As for costumes Marinette's probably wouldn't be skin tight because deep down she really doesn't want to look like that but more practical armor or less form-fitting at least. Marion's hair turns green when he transforms something he freaks out about and Marinette's turns red(glowing or not either would look cool)

-So anyway they go off to defeat the akuma blah blah blah Batman seeing these two young untrained superheroes can only think of one thing: I have to adopt them. So that’s gonna be fun!

-Anyway they go back home trying to be sneaky and immediately get caught by Lucy: ”Don’t tell Aunty!”-- ”Oh I already know” (her names Delia by the way)

- So now the twins get a support system and a family that will look out for them unbelievable right? This support system immediately threatens Fu making sure he actually trains them and doesn't just set them loose on Gotham.

Anyway that's the end of my semi-cohesive plan and here's a vague outline for the fic:

1. Becoming ladybug and chat noir setting up adoption, and school(Bruce invites them to Gotham academy to keep an eye on the jokers children)

2. First day at school setting up Artemis(and by extension young justice), and own passions, Adrien is also at this school now so Marinette falls, Jason finds out falling in love with Marion

3. Becoming friends with Artemis, convinces them to give their passions a try, Marion runs from hood, some let me adopt you stuff also Jason's spite for Cat Noir

4. Skip a bit of time a few months or so, young justice need help Artemis suggest mari and mari, Marinette has a smackdown with batman about their heritage, at odds with young justice Artemis comes to their defense. Young Justice have an ‘oh’ realization on the job when Marion sings a lullaby to a scared child, now the young justice form the mari and mari protection squad

5. Doing ladybug and cat stuff batman approaches them again this time luring them into adoption with a partnership on finding hawkmoth, Red Hood and cat fight. Marion comes back all huffy and there's a scene with Lucy this time comforting them, Marion goes out to get air runs into hood marion bristles stirring Jason to meet him as a civilian, class come to visit, at odds with lila

6. Doing well at school even made a few friends when the Paris class come to visit completely under lila’s control, lila tries to slander the twins for not worshiping her only to out herself when she tells everyone they laughed at her(the twins never laugh), Jason also drops by further discrediting her, lila tries to throw their heritage in their face but they get support openly working with heroes as civilians, this little section ends quite happily with them being sort of accepted at school and batman tolerating their existence for not attacking the person who tried to make their life miserable

7. Time skip few years out of high school now, ladybug and cat are working well with gothams vigilantes widely considered part of the batfam even if no one knows each other's identities. As mari and mari they are doing good work mainly outside of gotham. Marinette is starting a fashion boutique with a little financial help from Wayne enterprises she also does costume design for heroes and villains, villains mainly because she can't stand their current outfits. Marion quite likes his music but isn't sure how he will feel in the public eye is great friends with Jason and the skip picks up with them officially starting to go out identities unknown. They are still hesitant about their identities in civilian life Marinette starting her business under a false name and Marion cant start his because of his heritage. Jason officially has to admit they are going out to the family is met with grilling by aunt and sister, joy by harley once she tries giving them sex advice they leave, his brothers tease and both are tense about Bruces reaction but he begrudgingly accepts. Are out as ladybug and Cat still snippy with hood but it’s not as bad they are closing in on hawkmoth. Go to hang out with young justice as well they aren't well-liked in Gotham but they’re fine with that(not really)

8. NOW things can go to shit joker finally has enough of them deciding to get a hold of them but I think it should be as ladybug and chat revealing their identities to the world. The twins are terrified rightfully so. Get saved now it’s weird between hood and marion, marion feeling betrayed Jason knew who he was and knew who his father was but still decided to date him and he just can't understand why. Adrien was so scared for Marinette and now they both have to work out why. Gotham is at odds the heroes they admire are born from a villain they fear. Bats are a bit weird feeling like they were tricked while also kind of acknowledging the twins are good people

9. Harassed in their everyday life now the twins go to young justice where they get met with awe for being established independent heros, bats there are acting weird but the twins say something to shift perspective leaving to let them mull on it. Jason tries to apologise saying he doesn't see Marion like that blah blah Marion has a breakdown asking how he can be anything but a villain. Marinette's having whiplash going from loved to hated and still dealing with the trauma of seeing her father. They snap. In public a big ol scene and they get akumatised everyone sees it, it’s on tv. Hawkmoth comes out to get their miraculous the batfam can’t beat him. He’s monolouging probing at their deepest fears when they snap back to reality realizing none of it’s true every part of them has worked to be good people and they are they don't hand over their miraculous beating the akumatizaton and beating hawkmoth while akumatised.

10. They are released from the hospital a few days later, getting hesitant recognition on the streets. It's not thunderous applause but it is something. Their family comes to pick them up, Adrien is crying to Marinette about not scaring him like that(her family took him in when Gabriel was revealed). Marion gets picked up by Jason they patch things over. They get accepted into the batfam and work as ladybug and cat for everything. Marion decides to start playing music and Marinette reveals her face to her fashion brand.

26 notes · View notes

incidentreport31 · 3 years ago

Text

Episode 2 - Secure TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts.

Recorder clicks on.

SFX of a mug being set down on a counter. Water pouring and then the clink of a spoon against ceramic. Then, an abrupt almost dropping of said mug as Zach begins to speak.

ZACH:

Tea? Really?

ARCHIVIST:

(stammering)Oh, hi, hello, can… can I help you…?

(beat)

ZACH:

You can help yourself by getting some coffee. Tea isn’t gonna do anything for you, you know. It won’t keep you going for the whole day. You’ve gotta get that good ole cup of joe to start your morning.

ARCHIVIST:

I’m… sorry?

ZACH:

You can’t tell me that you actually like that garbage, right? I mean what kind are you even making?

[shuffle as he grabs the box off the counter]

English Breakfast? Really? English? Compensating for being in the US are we?

ARCHIVIST:

(defensive for no reason beknown to the listener but painfully known to them) I happen to like it, actually but- no actually wait a minute, who are you? Do you work here?

ZACH:

(also defensive for previously explained reason) Yeah, I do. Do you?

ARCHIVIST:

Yes, indeed I do. I’m actually the head archivist. May I ask what in the hell you might do around here? Other than, of course, critique drink choices?

ZACH:

Oh. (beat) Oh you- (another beat) You’re the archivist?

ARCHIVIST:

(huffing out a breath) Quite right. Once again. What the hell do you do here?

ZACH:

Oh I’m Zach. Zach Baker. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were… my… boss.

ARCHIVIST:

(hurried and with false confidence) Yes, of course. I’m Val West… your boss. Which means that I’m in charge here. Which then means you should… watch yourself in bothering me about these small things. Yes.

ZACH: It’s not my fault you have the worst taste in drinks-

ARCHIVIST:

(coughs to cut him off)

ZACH:

Well, you do. I’m just saying, okay? And- hold on, are you recording this?

ARCHIVIST: Hmm? Oh, yes I suppose I am.

ZACH:

Where’d that thing come from anyway? It looks ancient.

ARCHIVIST:

It is, from what I can tell. But Mr. Banks has instructed me to record all of my (said with distaste because the archivist is a dick to account givers) “little stories” into it. Apparently, silent reading does not do much in the way of furthering the plot of a story told in an audio format.

ZACH: Yeah, I guess he has a point there.

ARCHIVIST:

Fair enough… Either way, I'm not the biggest fan of the old girl, but she hasn’t broken down on me so far, so that counts for something I reckon. Not that there aren’t better ways of recording things, but I digress.

(a beat)

But, I guess I’ve just gotten in the habit of turning it on when it seems like I’m about to do something noteworthy that might further the plot, you know?

ZACH: Like… making tea.

ARCHIVIST:

Yes, yes, I believe you’ve already expressed your opinions on tea, but some of us prefer it to that… grimy coffee that you seem so attached to.

ZACH:

(flustered and compensating, sputtering his words out) Well you can defend your tea all you want, but I am still objectively correct and everyone else definitely agrees with me too, even if the coffee pot goes missing once a week-

ARCHIVIST:

The coffee pot what?

ZACH:

(feeling like he shouldn’t have said that as it seems to have hurt his argument, starting slow and getting increasingly heated) I… it goes missing sometimes… and I haven’t figured out who keeps taking it yet, but trust me I will, and anyways in the meantime, it’s a bit inconsiderate of you to continue trash talking my drink choice-

Recorder clicks off.

Recorder clicks on.

ARCHIVIST:

God, I had to cut that conversation off… It was getting quite past the point of relevance to anyone listening. Pointless debate. So… back to what I was hired on to do, I suppose. (clearing their throat) For the consideration of Boston College: Jordyn Mackenzie’s encounter with an odd child in her parents’ neighborhood, and her request to be exempt from her midterms. No date, once again. [mutters] I am starting to question my predecessor’s competency when it came to filing these out. Her story begins:

[ACCOUNT START]

Every Wednesday night, I make the drive over to my parents’ house to have dinner. When I first moved into my dorm, I had stubbornly been forced into these dinners, as if they were ripping away my freedom so shortly after I had received it. As time went on, however, those Wednesday night dinners have become what I look forward to most. After a while, the glamour of college began to wear off, and I got homesick easily, even if my mother and I didn’t always see eye-to-eye. There’s something so comforting about being able to step away from the bustling atmosphere of campus, and go somewhere quiet, and familiar. We’ve lived in that house almost all my life, and even with all of the bad memories attached to it, I can’t help but think of all the good ones. Perhaps that’s because I always try to see the glass as half full.

(beat)

It’s not just the house I enjoy. My parents live in a small gated community, just about twenty minutes away from school. The houses are all fairly new, with that white picket fence quality to them. In spite of that, each house has its own personality and charm to it. My favorite is probably this blue one with rabbit figurines out front. There’s a park in the neighborhood, too. Not a fancy one, just some monkey bars, a couple of slides, and a grassy field, but it’s great for picnics. Though, in all my time living there, I’ve hardly seen any other children there. I just assumed there weren’t many young kids in the neighborhood.

(another beat)

Thus, you can imagine my surprise when I met this particular child. Now, after dinner each night, I go out on a walk around the neighborhood. It’s small enough to walk the whole span of it in less than half an hour. My father used to come with me, but he’s been having troubles with his knee, so now I walk alone. The weather this time of year is near perfect for a walk—cold enough for it to kiss your face and wake you up, but not enough to freeze to death.

ARCHIVIST:

(mutters) Good lord, spare me the bad poetry. Would love to get to the actual point soon. Anyways.

[ACCOUNT]

It was on one of these walks that I first encountered the kid.

ARCHIVIST:

(mutters) Thank you.

[ACCOUNT]

As I previously stated, there aren’t many kids in the neighborhood, so it took me by surprise to see a new face. He looked to be about seven or eight, with unkempt, dirty blond hair, and blue eyes that were almost unnaturally large on his face. He wore a basic white t-shirt and jean shorts, and sure, I liked the weather, but a kid dressed like that must have been freezing, right? He did not shiver, however, hardly even emoted. Just walked right down the center of the road, staring dead ahead, carrying a bright orange toy gun.

(beat)

Of course, I worried for the kid. Where were his parents? Why was he out so late by himself?

I called out to him. He looked up at me with a surprised look, as if he was shocked to see me actually speaking to him. I asked him what his name was, but he didn’t answer. I tried to ask him lots of things—where his house was, why he was out so late, if he needed help or if his parents were nearby. He wouldn’t respond to anything I said. Just stood there and stared intensely into my eyes. I have to admit, it made me a bit squeamish. Eventually, I just walked away, hoping that whoever was responsible for the kid knew where he was, and that he would make it home safely. I tried not to think about it too much after that. The following week, when I went to dinner, I didn’t go on a walk. My parents had decided they wanted to play a board game, and I was more than happy to comply. The event with the kid had left me feeling unsettled, so I was a bit wary of going on a walk regardless. After another week, however, I had finally gotten over it. I figured it was just one weird kid, nothing more. I mean, looking back, I couldn’t blame him for being scared to talk to a complete stranger. I mean I wasn’t even certain looking back that the expression on his face was all that disturbing. It likely had just been fear, right? Surely, his parents knew where he was, and he was simply out for a post-supper stroll like I was. It was a fairly safe neighborhood, after all. So, the next time I went to my parent’s house for dinner, I went on another walk. There was a slight breeze, but my body heats up as fast as an oven with the slightest bit of exercise, so I welcomed the blasts of cold on my skin. The leaves in the trees rustled, and combined with the sound of windchimes, it was like a symphony of nature’s design.

ARCHIVIST: dropping down papers

(frustrated) I thought I said no more poetic imagery, christ- oh good it ends.

[ACCOUNT]

It was lovely, up until it wasn’t. I saw the kid again, still standing in the middle of the road. He was wearing the exact same outfit as before, the shorts even having the exact same grass stains they did before. It was uncanny, sure, but I figured it was just a coincidence. This time, I harbored far less discomfort or worry. It was just a kid. What could he do to me?

(beat)

A lot, turns out. (stumbling through the sentence) A lot meaning… scare me, but you know what I mean.

Before I even opened my mouth, I realized he was staring dead at me. As if his doll-like eyes were drilling holes into my skull. The weight of being watched hit me like a freight train, but I tried my best to shake it off. I apologized to him for being so invasive the last time we met. Again, he didn’t answer, just continued staring. I wasn’t quite sure what to say after that. It would be hypocritical if I began asking him questions again, immediately after I had apologized for doing exactly that.

ARCHIVIST:

Not sure a child understands what hypocrisy is, but, if it lets you keep the moral high ground, Ms. Mackenzie.

[ACCOUNT]

I didn’t like the way he looked at me, though. My desperate need to fill the silence was an instinct of some kind. As I stood there, teetering back and forth on my heels as I tried to think of what to do next, something strange happened. The kid, still staring at me, slowly began to raise his arm. In his hand was the same toy gun as before. He raised the toy gun until it was pointing directly at my head. Well, what the hell was I supposed to do with that? I knew it wouldn’t actually hurt me if he fired it, yet I still found myself frozen in place.

That was when the car, driving far too fast for a neighborhood, came barreling around the corner. The kid didn’t move. Didn’t even look to see the car coming. My feet lept to action before I processed what I was doing. I ran out into the middle of the street and tackled the kid. We stumbled towards the sidewalk on the other side as I dragged him. The momentum knocked us to the ground. Pain surged through my shoulder and my hip, but I hardly processed it until later, when I saw the large bruises that had formed. We had just barely managed to clear the car’s path. The driver didn’t even stop to apologize, or check to see if we were okay. Didn’t even slow down. I didn’t get a good look at the driver’s face, or the license plate. All I remember is that the car was black and might have been a Honda. Wherever they are, I hope karma did a good deal on them for their reckless driving.

Before I could focus on my injuries, I checked to make sure the kid was okay. Other than a scrape on his knee, he appeared to be fine, but it was hard to say. Even after all of that, his expression still hadn’t changed. For some reason, this made me indescribably angry. How could you almost get hit by a car and then still act completely neutral? Regardless,if he was in any pain, there was no way I could tell. I offered to take him back to my place and clean up his knee, but he shook his head. I noticed he was staring intently over my shoulder. When I turned around, I realized his toy gun had been destroyed. Orange and yellow plastic bits covered the street, almost like broken glass. He stood up and walked towards the remains. As he picked up what used to be the trigger, his face was still blank, but if I looked closely enough, I could have sworn I saw something adjacent to sadness. Disappointment, perhaps. For the first time since I had met him, he opened his mouth, and—god, I wish I had stuck around long enough to learn more. I wish I had pressed harder, since I now knew he was actually capable of speech. Hearing what he said next chilled me, though. I can’t quite say why. All I know is that after he spoke, I got up and ran back to my house, never wanting to see that kid again. Do you want to know what he said? The only words I ever heard him speak? It was this, with no further details or elaboration: “He’s not going to be happy about this.”

Paper shuffling.

ARCHIVIST:

And that seems to be where it ends. Jordyn gave us the name of the neighborhood this took place in, as well as the exact street the incident happened. The problem is, as she stated, it’s a gated community, and none of our staff had a code to get in. It says here in an attached slip of paper labeled: Incident Report, (sighs) date not given, that they contacted the head of the community in an attempt to gain access, but the head of the home-owner’s association said to, quote, “shove it in a place the sun doesn't shine, you conspiracy theory creeps.” Luca writes here that there was an issue involving a cup of… tea… thrown at their face… what a waste.(mutters) Rich people.

Because of this, there’s not much we can do. Without a stated name for the kid, or any known relatives, it’s hard to try to track this kid down. Frankly, I don’t think Jordyn’s story is all that concerning, other than the incident with the car, which we also could not find due to her vague description.

(beat)

It’s likely the child she met was simply shy, or possibly processed his emotions in a different way than she was used to. Her university certainly agreed with me, since it seems she was not given her requested time off. Thus, as far as I can tell, this is another instance of someone making something deeper than it needs to be and then trying to get an extra vacation. I can’t blame her, I suppose, since nearly seeing a kid get run over would certainly be upsetting. It does appear that Oliver, our resident psychological consultant, did recommend her a therapist, but she never went.

(beat)

Trust me, Jordyn, I would love to take a break as well, but post-grad school is expensive, and I doubt Mr. Banks would give me paid time off even if something worthwhile were to happen. It’s the world we live in, I suppose. Gotta pay off the student loans one way or another. (sigh)

End recording.

Recorder click off.

CREDITS:

Incident Report Number 31 is a podcast made by Three-Eyed Frog Presents. This episode, “Secure,” was written, directed, and produced by Val West and Luka Miller with sound design by Luka Miller. This episode featured Val West as the Archivist and Kaleb Piper as Zach Baker. Music is produced by Luka Miller. To keep up with the show and find transcripts, make sure to follow us on our Twitter at @IR31Pod and on tumblr at @IncidentReport31. To contact us with any questions or concerns, feel free to email us at [email protected]. Thanks so much for listening!

#ir31pod transcripts

4 notes · View notes

blackjack-15 · 4 years ago

Text

Doubly Dubiously Designed — Thoughts on: Danger by Design (DAN)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it. In this meta, a section in between The Title and The Mystery will be The Historical Background, where we’ll dive into a what a mess HER made of this game and its history.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: DAN, mention of SSH.

The Intro:

Holy eff, what was this game?

With Danger By Design, game #14 and our penultimate Jetsetting Game, Nancy kisses Blue Moon Canyon goodbye and flies off to the land of fashion, francs, and fabulous found fripperies — France.

Yes, it was a struggle to come up with so many f-words that made a mad sort of sense.

DAN is a case where they had two or three ideas for two or three different games, and then someone got high and was like “what if we smushed them all together and don’t make them gel together at all”…only none of the ideas were fully formed, so what you get is a tornado – heh — of different things whirling together, but the second the momentum dies, you can see that nothing is actually part of anything else.

There are just too many ideas in DAN to make a game that has an emotional (not to mention logical) payoff, and too few of them are actually used throughout the game to make a game that’s interesting. Add in the fact that the characters are flat in a way that they haven’t been for 10 games and that Nancy seems to have no concrete motivation for anything that she does, and you’re left with a uniquely frustrating experience — and one that fails to take advantage of its unique location in any meaningful way, unlike the other Jetsetting Games.

The Title:

DAN is based off of Nancy Drew Files: Death by Design, which is objectively a more enticing title, though not accurate to the game’s story at all. As it stands, Danger by Design is a pretty good title; it clues you into a vague danger, it establishes not only that it’s about fashion — design — but also that the plot is being orchestrated by players that aren’t immediately visible — design.

I would actually hazard to say that DAN’s title is the most successful part of it; it doesn’t have any gaping holes, it’s catchy, easy to abbreviate — it’s only small problem is that “danger” is a super common mystery title, and that there have already been several other games with “danger” in the title — Stay Tuned for Danger, Danger on Deception Island — so it could improve from a series-naming standpoint. Otherwise, this title does all that it needs to without extraneous detail.

The Mystery:

Summoned to investigate why a famous French designer has suddenly gone crazy, Nancy’s going undercover for the…at least third time in this series so far. The designer, Minette, has taken to wearing a full-face mask with a discomforting lack of air holes and firing employees like most people eat mini-MnMs.

All at once, out of a tube, before they melt and discolor your hand. Or something.

Minette has been running behind, and Nancy is supposed to figure out what’s causing her temper tantrums and slipping schedule, amid threatening letters and insistent phone calls to the moulin where Minette houses her studio. Amy Grunhild, her boss, is wondering what’s up with her behavior and hires Nancy do to some old fashioned snooping.

Once in France, however, Nancy finds out there’s more than meets the eye, both with Minette and with the moulin. Nancy somehow finds herself in the seat of international espionage, a historical futz-up of epic proportions, several fashion faux pas, a mint shortage, flooded catacombs, and the highly graphic murder of the French Language.

As a mystery, let’s be honest: DAN is a mess. A good ol’ Southern may-yuh-suh. The A-plot (Minette) and the B-plot (Noisette + History) intertwine maybe once on the surface and then basically are separate games, no focus is given to anything so it feels jumbled and messy, there’s not enough to do and too much space to do it in…the list goes on.

The focus is honestly the part that upsets the mystery the most; by the time Nancy’s down in the catacombs for the nth time, Minette is pretty much a distant memory, but when Nancy’s trapped with the stained glass, you’re reminded of Noisette suddenly and rather uncomfortably. There’s no clear mystery — there’s in fact at least two very unclear mysteries — and so there’s no clear story.

Now, let’s get to the players who contribute to the mess.

The Suspects:

Minette — real name Tammy Barnes — is supposedly an up-and-coming fashion designer, but is tackling projects that are more what a seasoned professional would handle (like making a dress for the First Lady). Her fierce rivalry with designer Hugo Butterly feels like a looming spectre overhead, and her timetable has begun slipping more and more since she donned the mask.

Why she, an inexperienced plus-size designer is designing a gown for the First Lady (who in 2005/6 was a small, petite woman), neither I nor anyone else has any ideas.

The real reason Minette’s timetable is a disaster is because remnants of the East German Police – no, stay with me here — are threatening her into making the First Lady’s dress complete with electronic bugs so that they could hear what’s going on at the National Summit.

Minette’s the closest thing we get to a culprit — she’s the one we fight at the end — but she’s also a victim of blackmail and threats herself, and I do find it odd that, unlike in other games, she’s not treated as a victim at all; Nancy never teams up with her, never helps fight her enemies, and is never really sympathetic at all. With Minette’s personality, it’s not a shock that Nancy doesn’t sympathize, but I do find it a little odd that the blackmail thing is just kind of glossed over.

Heather McKay is Minette’s only long-time employee, who vents her frustration with her boss by sending her threatening letters every so often. Absurdly young for her position — Heather is at most 23, given her graduation date from Waverly Academy — Heather also designs her own fashion on the side, hoping that working for Minette will give her the contacts she needs in order to be a successful designer.

Heather’s designs also happen to be hideous — did HER have no one with any fashion sense at all working on this game?

As a culprit, Heather would have been interesting, but unlikely; as the person closest to Minette, she’s already the most suspicious, especially since she could be delaying Minette to make her desperate and then offering to step in and “save the day” with one of her own designs. As it is, Heather ends the game far more successful than she should be, and avoids any taint of having worked with Minette.

Dieter Von Schwesterkrank is the red herring — I mean, the German fashion photographer centered in Paris, and the great-nephew of Noisette Tornade’s Nazi lover, Hans Von Schwesterkrank. Originally dating Minette in order to explore the moulin and find Noisette’s treasure, he found he had somehow developed actual feelings for her by the time she broke the relationship off.

As a culprit, Dieter would have been incredibly dull; he barely has enough personality to fill a teaspoon, he’s the obvious red herring due to him and the conspirators both being German (not to mention the German occupation of France in World War II, where the historical background is set), and he would get nothing out of messing with Minette, as his job does better the more that fashion designers thrive.

Jing-Jing Ling is an Australian (and presumably also part-Chinese, given her name) “plus size�� (by this game’s standards; I talk about this later) model who was tricked into a contract with Minette and is Nancy’s roommate during Nancy’s time in France. A chronic liar with an interest in circuitry and engineering, JJ also spends her time baking and eating cookies —yeah, because that’s how a model keeps her size 12 (American size 10) figure, wow — and being easily duped into giving up an autograph via a game of Hangman.

The wet dream of both the catacomb-climber Zu and of Joe Hardy himself, JJ is my preferred culprit if I had to choose just from the cast; outwardly friendly while also outwardly manipulative, with the perfect excuse for going out at all hours of the day and night — Minette is an eccentric, remember — and smarter than she seems. She’s also related to both the “Secrets of Paris” plot (through Zu) and the Minette plot. Her being the culprit would make this an entirely different game, however, and so as the culprit in the current game, she’s an iffy choice at best.

Rounding out our physical suspects is Jean-Michel Traquenard, owner of the easiest to pronounce yet most mangled name of the whole game…and editor of Glam Glam Magazine. He’s also the only Frenchman in our suspects, and one of three probable Frenchmen in the entire cast (Zu and possibly Lynn Manrique, judging by her last name).

As a character, Jean-Michel is unique and memorable; as a culprit, he’s a non-entity. While he could have been more than just a place to see a photo and get a sprig of mint without painting bad replicas of famous paintings for 22 hours, he sits comfortably at Café Kiki, not caring three straws about the havoc happening both in the fashion world and in his city.

There are so many phone characters in this game (most one-off, but still), so I’ll run through them briefly.

Zu is an explorer of the Parisian catacombs, who helps Nancy get down there to explore once she gets him the aforementioned autograph from JJ. He’s fun to talk to, and necessary to the plot, but doesn’t show up quite enough. An interesting twist would have had him be one of the existing cast, but no one quite fits the bill.

Lynn Manrique is a one-off historian who wants to talk to Minette about the moulin and Noisette, but who keeps being blown off. She gives Nancy a bit of info, then promptly disappears again.

Hugo Butterly is another brief phone character, giving about as much information as you’d expect from a hoity-toity fashion designer. His convo with Nancy is mostly to rule him out as a suspect. He would have been a cool option for also being Zu. Ah well.

Prudence Rutherford, in all her glory, shows up as a phone friend here, and is one of the most memorable parts of the game — not shocking, as she was just as enjoyable in Secret of the Scarlet Hand. Here, she’s sent off a request to Minette for a few outfits that of course Nancy has to put together.

Sure, what Prudence wants is an eyesore, but a delightfully Prudence eyesore. Perfect for a woman who’s good friends with P. G. Krolmeister.

Finally, let’s talk a bit about the woman who started part of this game.

Noisette Tornade — literally “hazelnut tornado” in French, which is the oddest name ever – was a member of the French resistance during World War II. Though loyal to France, her boyfriend Hans was loyal to his native Germany, and their relationship resulted in Noisette being seen as a traitor.

Though acquitted, Noisette remained bitter towards those who distrusted her, and hid the treasures of Paris that she had saved for the rest of her life to punish them.

Interestingly enough, when you’re playing this game for the first time, you really do feel like Noisette is supposed to be a sort of tragic hero…but Noisette is not a good person, or a moral person. Even after being exonerated and elected as Director of Public Works for the rest of her life, Noisette is too bitter to restore the art to the country, and refuses to believe she might have acted in the wrong by knowingly and deliberately harboring a Nazi.

Perhaps in early planning stages (and I say planning very, very loosely), Noisette had been executed and was supposed to be a tragic figure who did nothing wrong. But Noisette wasn’t a good person, and any points she might have gotten for saving art disappear when she decided that because she was suspected due to the fact that her boyfriend was a freaking Nazi, the city would pay for it — forever.

The Favorite:

There’s some good stuff in DAN (even if most of it doesn’t come to fruition or feel deserved), and they do deserve to be mentioned.

Jean-Michel is by far the best character that this game has to offer, and he’d still be pretty good in a game that was a bit better. Apart from his painful pronunciation games with Nancy, he’s a lot of fun to talk to and has a great character design. A larger than life character needs a larger than life wardrobe, and Jean-Michel delivers.

My favorite puzzle in the game is the Prudence costume design; while it’s not a hard puzzle and doesn’t really make you feel very accomplished as a puzzler, it is a whole lot of fun and a way to design some of the ugliest outfits known to man.

My favorite moment in the game is anytime Nancy spends time in JJ’s apartment; it’s so well designed and homey without being ugly or kitschy. Baking cookies is prolly the best moment — I wouldn’t call it a puzzle, it’s more like just a task — because it just feels nice and relaxing.

The Un-Favorite:

It’s a small thing, relative to the rest of the things wrong with this game, but I hate that a size 10 (size 12 in France, which converts to an American size 10) is defined as plus-size in this game when in 2006, the year this game was released, a 10 was nowhere near a plus size. It’s a small detail that they very easily could have gotten right, and they didn’t bother to even check.

My least favorite moment in the game is easily the Minette fight that turns into Nancy trapped with Noisette’s artwork. Nothing quite illustrates the fact that they had no idea what story they were telling and no idea how to end the game more than the fact that we go from a slo-mo kung-fu fight to a hall of French artwork and no one’s quite sure which one is supposed to be the climax.

My least favorite puzzle is the catacomb puzzle; while the catacombs are cool to explore, navigating them is a frustrating experience, only made worse by the fear of getting lost – or the rats stealing things that you really, really need.

While most things in DAN bother me to some degree, the game is so uniformly disappointing that not a lot of things stand out over each other, so we’ll move on to where the actual work begins.

The Fix:

This is one of the few games that, in order to have a cohesive plot, storyline, and motivation for all (or even any) of its characters, needs a complete re-write to the setup along with changes to the “plot” progression itself.

The first big problem to fix is the reason Nancy’s there in the first place. It doesn’t make a lot of sense that she’s there to figure out what’s wrong with Minette — she should have a lot of specialized knowledge in order to be an assistant to such a major designer — and the justification is flimsy.

There’s also the problem that our historical characters aren’t heroes, so to try to “exonerate” Noisette when France already cleared her of everything except bitterness is, quite frankly, not a very heroic endeavor. Having this B-plot marginally tied to the A-plot by the fact that the Germans are the bad guys in both really isn’t great either — and certainly isn’t enough justification for the writing to be this bad.

To fix both of these in one fell swoop, shift the story in the past slightly.

Perhaps Noisette and Hans are still involved, but Noisette manages to turn her boyfriend against the Nazis and they spy on behalf of France, including saving France’s art from the hands of the Nazis and hiding it. The French government, however, doesn’t trust either one of them, and executes them for treason against the French state. Noisette and Hans carry the location where they stored the art to their graves, believing it to be unsafe with German sympathizers still around, but leave clues with friends and around the city, wanting it to be found in due time.

Cut to 2006, and Hans’ descendant Dieter Von Schwesterkrank has found evidence that Hans and Noisette were loyal to the French cause and were executed unjustly. The evidence is enough that he believes it (perhaps a work of art or two deemed ‘stolen’ by the pair has turned up in the family, but without any provenance, causing issues of authenticity), having always heard growing up that Hans was working for the French, but he knows that no one else will unless he can dig up more.

He tries to seduce Minette — an actual Frenchwoman in this version — into letting him hang around the windmill where Noisette and Hans once lived. He accidentally falls for her, but she breaks it off due to the external pressure, leaving him both heartbroken and unable to search more.

Having gotten the phone once in the moulin and been subject to one of Prudence Rutherford’s calls, he learns about a hotshot teen detective in America named Nancy Drew who’s worked undercover before and will take any job.

Needing her help, Dieter writes Nancy, telling her that he’s got a job for her and that he’s just trying to figure out how to get her a visa to come to France. Using Heather’s crush on him, he mentions an intern from the States that he’s heard of that can supposedly handle any boss, no matter how obnoxious — and the wheels start spinning.

Once Nancy gets to France and gets the low-down on Minette, she goes to visit Dieter to get her real assignment — to balance working for Minette while finding proof of Hans and Noisette’s innocence.

With those changes in place, the game can proceed relatively unchanged in the order of events, albeit with more importance given to Dieter and less on pointless minigames with Minette. As Nancy tries to find out more about Noisette and Hans, she also notices Minette acting strangely: refusing to talk to people, communicating through emails and instant messages, falling further and further behind.

Zu changes from a wacky one-off character with an obsession to the expert in the catacombs and their use by the French Resistance during WWII; Lynn Manrique from a simple historian to a French Art historian specializing in identifying forged works of art and in art trafficking during the War.

Instead of Noisette’s plotline getting swirled into Minette’s, Minette’s issues are swirled into the larger plotline of proving Noisette and Hans’ innocence through finding the missing artwork and, along with it, the proof that they were working on behalf of France all along.

In the interest of not changing too much, the bad guys can still be fringe German extremists looking to destroy Noisette and Hans’ hard work (or perhaps who have a personal grudge against Hans in particular) and so threaten Minette, but rather than threatening a world summit through a bugged dress, they’ve been stealing fabric, designs, unpicking stitches — whatever they can think of — to delay her collection in the hope that she’ll think that the moulin is cursed and move to a different location, allowing them to search the building top-to-bottom to find the art that they suspect is hidden inside.

I know that this Fix section seems quite long, but it’s all really worldbuilding and premise changes; once a few motivations are shifted and the villains’ objective changes from something that the player doesn’t care about to something that they will care about, the game improves itself rather quickly.

WWII isn’t my preferred time in history to learn about, but even I can acknowledge that passing off the French occupation as “ah those wacky Germans” and “seriously and actively dating an actual Nazi shouldn’t get you suspected as a collaborateur because That’s Mean and if people suspect you just hide French national treasures because that’ll show them” isn’t a great look, nor does it fulfill the “edu” part of “edutainment”.

#nancy drew #clue crew #nancy drew games #nancy drew meta #danger by design #DAN #my meta #long post #video games

62 notes · View notes

vydante · 5 years ago

Text

Restart | Avengers x Male! Reader | 11

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Avengers x Male! Reader (romantically: multiple)

Plot: Dr. Strange said there was only one possibility of winning the battle against Thanos.

But when (Name) is forced into the past and into his younger body, he’s suddenly given the chance to start over and prevent the future from happening again.

So which route are you going to take? Are you going to risk the future and take preventative measures, or live life with the Avengers for the next 4 years, knowing what will soon come?

A/N: Different format this time, taken like a video log, though it’s mostly dialogue.

[Action: enter folder titled ‘Project Renaissance’.]

...

[Enter Password: |]

[Enter Password: 1R0NM4NSU|]

[Enter Password: 1R0NM4NSUXXAP3XRUL35 |]

[Action: enter.]

...

[Password Accepted.]

[Accessing…]

[Enter folder name.]

[Action: “video logs”.]

[Searching…]

[Folder ‘Video Logs’ found. Would you like to play from the beginning?]

[Action: “Yes.”]

...

[Playing… “uh i don’t know name it whatever you want”, date created: 10-23-2013.]

...

“Is this thing on? Hello? Hell-o?”

The video feed shows your lone figure in your lab. It’s dark outside as the timestamp in the corner indicates that it’s half past midnight. You’re sitting directly in front of the camera, dressed in pajamas but no signs of fatigue anywhere.

You visibly huff, but only mirth flickers through your eyes as you look directly into the camera. It doesn’t last long as your eyes travel over to the camera feed and now you’re just looking at yourself as you begin to talk.

“Alright, so uh. Yadda yadda yadda, I planned to manually enter and type all of this out, but… I thought why not record it all in a log along the way? Fun, huh?”

You trail off on that thought, mumbling something about ‘well, that’s what my therapist said, anyways. Ah, wait, I don’t have her yet… mm, should probably look into that…’.

“Anyways, this is day one of Project Renaissance, or as it’s also known as, Project Get-Our-Shit-Together-Before-We-Get-Our-Lives-Rocked-By-Thanos.”

You shrug nonchalantly, but to the keenest of eyes, there was a stiffness in your posture when you mentioned Thanos. It was brief, but present nonetheless as it quickly dissipates from your shoulders.

“And, we don’t have to worry about any of this being leaked or whatever, because this is all on my sweet DAHLIA’s servers! Say something to the camera.”

“Something to the camera,” a dull female voice spoke up from the ceiling, Australian accent thick.

“Charming,” you purse your lips as if to hold back a smile, “Anyways, where was I…”

“Oh, yeah- Renaissance. So this is gonna be a long, long project with a bunch of other mini-folders inside.”

You swiped your hands across the air, slicing through as blue holograms appeared in front of the camera. There were already dozens of folders, but the camera catches only a few of their names.

‘Firecracker’, ‘Thunderpants’, and ‘Accords’ are some that are visible.

“I just wanted to get on base with what we have so far, but it’s not much considering it’s, y’know, only day one.”

You mumble something incoherent away from the camera before gazing back up on the camera feed, not quite looking directly into the camera itself. To the left of you, there’s a hologram of a checklist that you occasionally glance through as you resume speaking.

“Main objective of this project: prevent Thanos from decimating half of the universe, preferably killing him in the process. Side objectives: keep the Avengers together, current members optional, new members in need nonetheless. Contenders in another file.”

You glance at the checklist.

“Current objective: locate and capture Barnes, codename Winter Soldier, and any other Winter Soldiers, and sift through S.H.I.E.L.D.’s database for traces of HYDRA.”

“Sidenote: we, ah, started the search yesterday- for Barnes. So far, it’s… Not really promising. I, uh, initially gave the timeline to find Barnes a few days max, but man, I’m starting to doubt that…”

You sigh, scratching at your arm irritably.

“Whatever…” you mumbled.

“Anyways.”

“I, ah, I don’t know for sure what I want to do with Barnes, but considering that I’ll probably have more than ample time to think about it, I’m not worrying about it too much. As for his triggers…”

You glanced at an adjacent folder, almost contemplating.

“I know of one person who can help, but I’m not exactly putting too much hope for that one. So.”

“We might have to resort to B.A.R.F. when it’s ready. DAHLIA, who- who was on that case again?”

“Mr. Quentin Beck and his team, doll.”

“Ah, yeah, Beck. Cute, tall, big ole’ eyes?”

An image hologram pops up in front of you, presumably of Quentin Beck.

“I don’t know about ‘cute’, but in essence? Yep.”

You ignored DAHLIA’s apparent judgment in your taste in men.

“Gotcha. Well, there’s that we can resort to if need be. Um…”

“Well, as for HYDRA, that’s… That’s a whole ‘nother can of worms right there.”

You sighed, and this is the first inkling of exhaustion you’ve shown so far. You deflate a little bit and spend the next few minutes staring at something behind the monitor in silence. You’re deep in thought before your phone buzzes.

Then, the video feed cuts off.

…

[Video end. Selecting next in queue…]

[Playing… “okay don’t do that weird thing where you record everything i say and make it the title, please dahlia anyways uh i wanna name it uh huh um shit dahlia i swear to god stop doing that”, date created: 11-02-2013.]

…

“Wow, alright, I was watching the last log last night and man did I literally got nothing done. I mean, it was the first day, but still! Still, I fucking…”

Your voice trails off as you walk away from the screen, holding what appears to be a big box filled with papers and envelopes. You set it down in the far corner of the lab, still talking but your words are unintelligible as the microphone is too far to hear anything.

“... And yet here I am, just- ugh!”

You dropped your body onto the chair and plopped right in front of the screen. Your hair is disheveled, undersuit still on. There’s a bruise forming on your forehead, but you don’t really seem to care about your messy appearance.

You pointed a lazy finger towards the corner, a small grin as you try to line it up with the camera feed.

“That’s fanmail- apparently someone has been neglecting to read those… It’s me, I’m someone.”

You chuckle to yourself.

“Mm, I’ll read myself to sleep later, probably hang all of it up on a mural wall somewhere. Or the ceiling, that works too. Anyways. Just went on a, shall I say, self-imposed mission. It was, ah, to look for Barnes.”

You sheepishly smiled.

“‘Was followin’ a lead from DAHLIA, a potential hit marker, but- it was just a- a barely running base. Nothin’ new, but- it’s nice. To fly and- and fight in the suit every now and then.”

You shake your head.

“Not the- the current one. The nanite one. It’s- god, I miss it, you know?”

Your eyes glaze over, a faraway glint in your eyes as you paused your ranting. This goes on for about 24 more seconds before you started talking again, voice smaller.

“I did this thing, with dad. After the whole, um, Accords bullshit. He- we would get into our suits- the newer models, and just… Go at each other. No repulsors, no nothing. Just raw, brutal punches in the suit. No holding back, no making sure the other one’s okay after a good blow… Just… We just hailed on each other, you know?”

“I mean, obviously we weren’t trying to kill each other, but sometimes it… It felt close, y’know? Nothing personal, but… It was primal, sometimes. Sometimes he’d knock my jaw a little too loose and all I’d ever see would be red… It was wild, I’ll tell you that.”

“But- we only did it here and there, considerin’, y’know. He’s-... He was getting older, and I was… getting busier.” You sighed. “No one knew about it either; god knows how Rhodey or ma’ would react to us- just- beating the shit out of each other.”

You smiled, though it looked more like a grimace.

“It was fun, though. Get the frustrations out. Work on our weaknesses. Show no hesitation. It’s…”

There’s a sudden hollowness in your eyes as your face shifts, an expression years older than you were currently. Haunted, almost. You shake your head, whatever traces of your former self now gone as you smiled- though, there was nothing genuine to that smile at all.

“... Not important. Anyways.”

You shifted in your seat, clearly uncomfortable at the stagnant air despite being the only one in the room.

“So yeah. HYDRA. I took out everyone at that base. Nothing left. Downloaded whatever they had, wiped it, then burnt it to a crisp. The usual, nothing new, nothing important…”

You shrugged, “It’s harder to get the Avengers to look the other way when I’m doing these solo missions. I’m pretty sure Natasha’s getting sus about this… Nothing tied to me, but. Still.”

“But yeah, DAHLIA’s sifting through the information right now.”

Your eyes shift to the left, presumably a screen with said findings loading in.

“So-o... There was… There was that.”

You paused, trying to gather your thoughts when your eyes flickered.

“Ah- but to continue to the last log; HYDRA… Man. HYDRA, HYDRA, HYDRA. Always a pain in the ass.”

You scowled.

“I thought it was gonna take me a little longer to sift through the S.H.I.E.L.D. database, but surprisingly enough, it was… Kind of easy to sort out HYDRA and Not-HYDRA.”

You scratched your head in confusion.

“Back a couple of years ago- or, well, in… Next year, actually. June? Well- Team Cap is gonna go haywire on S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA and Project Insight and basically dump all that good-good, and we,” you noted with an oddly bitter tone, “were left to clean up the mess they made. And, well, it exposed a lot of active field agents. Shit, man.”

You scrubbed your face with your hands, which were marred with fresh scratches and burn marks. It’s unclear where they came from, but you don’t seem bothered by it.

“So many agents were killed in that stunt. God…”

Your voice is muffled, but still audible.

“There was one agent… Codename Acai. Sweet gal, ‘cording to her co-workers. Little unhinged, but she got the work done. She… She was undercover in North Korea for a few years. Got busted by the data dump. And…”

“God, they just…”

You sighed gruffly, refusing to look anywhere near the camera.

“It was rough, finding her body. Kept looking for her even months after the whole Ultron bullshit. By the time we got to her, it took us months to I.D. her body- even worse? North Korea already had her death listed as suicide under her fake name. Bullshit! Parts of her was missin’, how the fuck is that a suicide?! Both feet, gone. Her sternum was nowhere to be found. How- I just…!”

You gritted your teeth.

“I just don’t understand what they were thinking when they pulled that dumbass stunt to release all of that- that sensitive data…! I thought- oh, maybe, maybe, HYDRA had already corrupted a large part of S.H.I.E.L.D., that’s why they did it!”

“But no! No- do you know how much of S.H.I.E.L.D. was infected? How much?!”

You pinched your fingers together and squinted at the camera with a visceral smile.

“6 percent. That 6 percent accounted for a majority of the higher-ups. Not lower field combatants. Not the technicians. The higher-ups.”

“6 percent of S.H.I.E.L.D. was HYDRA,” you hissed, “yet they still endangered the other 94% active and non-active members! Fuck- it was a miracle! A miracle, that we got to any of the agent’s family that had been documented before HYDRA or anyone else could!”

“It’s a miracle that the Bartons even made it- and we didn’t even know about them until Ultron! It’s just-... Fuck!”

Growling, you knocked your head against the metal table in front of you. The camera shakes a little bit.

“God, Romanoff, what the fuck were you thinkin’? You were supposed to keep them in check, not… Not be so goddamn stupid!”

You growled under your breath, taking a moment to breathe. You lifted your head up with a neutral face and exhaled.

“Whatever. What’s done is done. I’ve- I’ve had years to simmer over it and I’m- I’m not. Angry. I swear I’m not. It’s done, it happened. But. Hopefully in this timeline… It won’t happen. Not like that, at least.”

There was a peculiar glint in your eyes as you started reaching into one of your cabinets.

“And I know just how to stop it.”

You raised your eyebrows with your eyes closed, reluctant to repeat what you had already said.

“Again, sifted through S.H.I.E.L.D. for HYDRA. Got the information. And it is all. In. Here.”

You pulled back up to reveal a small black USB flash drive. There’s nothing of interest to it on the outside, but it’s what’s inside that really, really counted.

“This bad boy has all the shit that HYDRA’s been skeemin’ all up in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s system. I- well.”

“I actually have 2 of these, but, ah. One’s already on the way to ole’ Saint Nick.”

You brushed a hand through your hair. It’s grown quite a bit and in need of trimming.

“Because if there’s one thing I know for sure about S.H.I.E.L.D.? Nick ain’t apart of HYDRA, no matter how much of a scumbag he is. And, really… I’d like to think I trust him to handle this situation properly- more so than anyone else but me and my dad. Obviously, dad can’t- he can’t ever know about… About this.”

Despite referring to the USB in your hands, your words were heavy nonetheless. It wasn’t just the flash drive you were referring to.

“So Fury’s getting the other bad boy. Worth millions, and 2 of a kind, too.”

“Well, I sent it to the bastard. Hopefully, he doesn’t trash it, or whatever. Soon.”

You hummed. Setting the USB down on the table, you made direct eye contact with the camera and posed with pouty lips. You threw up a peace sign ironically and grinned.

“Well, that’s that. Oh, and Clint vomited on Steve’s clothes yesterday. Not important, but funny nonetheless. Deuces!”

…

[Video end. Selecting next in queue…]

[Playing… “dahlia we don’t have the fucking time for this get the damn suit”, date created: 11-29-2013.]

…

“Hi.”

You’re still in your school clothes that day, a simple sweater and sweatpants. Your letterman is hanging on the back of your seat for going to the robotics competitions your school had.

The timestamp also indicates that you had just gotten out of school too- though, it is considerably dark outside. Snowing that day, most likely. And still is, probably.

“So, uh. Fury got the message, I think.”

You spun around in your chair, knees up to your chest.

“Usually we’re getting harassed by him every now and then to do missions, but Natasha just came home yesterday sayin’, like. ‘Fury’s put my mission on hold’, or something.”

“He doesn’t know I sent it to him, I think. But. Thing’s’re getting pret-ty serious now, huh.”

You shrugged.

“Well, whatever. I didn’t come here to talk about Fury, though. I came here to update on, ah, a few things.”

“I know I haven’t touched base with- well, you,” You gave the camera a saucy wink, “about a lot of my projects so far. So, here are a few that I’ve been thinking of implementing.”

A picture is pulled up from your desktop. It’s an aerial shot of a brunet talking to his friend, both of a juvenile appearance. There’s another picture, a 3D generated image of a red and blue suit.

“So. Peter Parker.”

Sigh.

“I… really, really, really don’t want him to be involved in any of this. No superhero bullshit, no nothing.”

“He’s young. He doesn’t- doesn’t need to be involved with this mess. I just… I just want him to have a normal life.”

‘One I never got to have; one he’ll never get to have,’ goes unsaid, but you continued on.

“But… By my reasoning, I am… Hypocritical in my justification.”

You paused, frowning as you look at the picture long and hard. When you speak up, your voice is noticeably quieter.

“He was just as old as I was when I started this whole Apex mantle thing. Hell, he might’ve been older. Will be older. And quite frankly, I can’t stop him even if I wanted to. He’ll still do it, still go out and fight and just-...”

“He’ll do it unsupervised, and that’s what scares me the most.”

You mumble under your breath, “He reminds me too much of… Me. Young, dumb, and reckless as all hell.”

You shook your head and pulled up another file. This one’s a text file, and it’s detailed enough to go on for pages and pages, but clearly there’s more to be added.

“So, what I’m hoping to do is… Start an internship program. Start- start him early. The sooner, the better control he’ll have over his powers. The better experience he’ll get. And, of course, with the additional benefits of, well. Being in an actual internship program.”

“What that will intel? I don’t know. But I think… I think both the students and SI can- can benefit off of that.”

“So, that was one of my projects. Another one is about, well.”

You swallowed hard for this one.

“Extremis.”

You held your hands up as if trying to halt the camera- even the viewer- from freaking out.

“Listen, look, I know, I know- ‘oh, Extremis is already stabilized, oh, why mess with it even more, oh, just leave it alone it’ll make you explode into a thousand firecrackers, oh’- I get it. I know.”

“But… Listen to me.”

“I really, really do think Hansen was onto something with Extremis, no matter how evil and fucked up it is now. It… With a little bit of love and care, I really do think it can help. Maybe not- not on a mass-production scale- or for commercial use, period- but still.”

You licked your lips, eyes flickering to a picture of you, Tony, and Rhodey eating ice cream on your desk.

“I… It can be a last resort type of thing. It- it has the potential. So, so much potential.”

You chuckled to yourself.

“Well, it’s not like you- whoever else that isn’t me that’s watching this- can convince me otherwise. Don’t worry, no live subjects. No evil scientist bull, just… Just trust me, please.”

It’s unclear who exactly you’re referring to, but it’s as if there’s a specific person you’re trying to plead with despite knowing that no matter what, this footage- along with the rest- will be forever condemned to rest in the grave that is DAHLIA’s protected database.

“So, yeah. Working a little bit on Extremis. Um, I wish I could say that the next projects are more- light-hearted, but. Not really, no.”

“I’m… Well, there’s no easy way to say this: I’m thinking of filing a class-action lawsuit on Ross.”

And with that bombshell of an announcement to the camera, the Avengers alert rang across the building.

“Fuck- DAHLIA, end it- put me on comms!”

…

[Video end. Selecting next in queue…]

[Playing… “i am so mad i didn’t think about this before dahlia change the mission objective”, date created: 12-18-2013.]

…

...

“Would you believe me if I said I completely forgot about these whole video log things?”

Your back is turned to the camera, completely shirtless and hair dripping wet. You’re texting someone, and you’re typing a little bit furiously. The camera catches the other person sending a cat picture. You huff, but turn your phone off and set it to the side.

“So. Ross.”

You shake your head.

“Sorry to drop a bombshell like that on you,” you quietly address the camera, “then disappear on a mission, but-”

“There’s nothing concrete now. Just- it’s just an idea. I think…”

“I think Bruce would like it. There’s- there’s a lot of dirt on Ross. So much shit that can get him life, too. Maybe even death if we play our cards right, but… I want that bastard to suffer. And quite frankly, if I can get rid of him now, the better the Avengers will be in the future.”

You rolled your shoulders, a satisfying crack echoes from you and you grinned for a moment, before smoothing your face out into something more neutral. You leaned back in your chair, and take a breather.

“So, uh. It’s been… Over a month, I’d say? Since I started these whole video logs. Um… No traces on Barnes. It’s…”

You glance up at the ceiling with a pained expression.

“It’s frustrating as hell. You’d think, with access to a majority, if not all of the satellites and cameras and whatnot, we’d find him easier…”

“It’s like he’s not even doing anything, at all. No missions, no assassinations or whatever… Nothing. Nada. It’s like… It’s like he’s not even being deplo-”

You paused. It’s clear that the gears inside your head are turning. You narrowed your eyes, a smile threatening to break out as you reached towards the camera buttons.

“Sonnofabitch.”

…

[Video end. Selecting next in queue…]

[Playing… “i won’t let history repeat again starting with him”, date created: 12-29-2013.]

…

...

“So. I’m, uh, major update.”

Unlike the previous video logs where you were in your lab, this one is different. The camera is a lot closer to your face and from a bottom perspective as you hold the camera.

You’ve got part of your helmet, chest plate, shoulders, gauntlets, and presumably your boots still on as your steps are heavy and clanking. There’s blood smeared across your forehead. You’re slightly out of breath as you glance at something outside of the camera’s perspective.

Around you, the view is shaky and it’s unclear where you’re walking. None of the interior decors indicates that you’re in the tower- in fact, it’s barren and empty.

You glance down at the camera view.

“Remember the last log? Well, I uh, sort of had an epiphany, if you will.”

You continue walking, but you’ve reached a door mechanism. You punch in some numbers and continue talking as the doors open wide.

“It was strange, that I got no hits of a Winter Soldier stalking around anywhere. Sure, he’s a trained spy and killer, but no one’s that slick- not even Natasha, as much as she thinks otherwise.”

You’re in an elevator now, catching your breath slightly as you drew your eyebrows together. There’s a dinging noise, indicating the floors you’re ascending- or descending, as it’s unclear what story you’re on.

“It was like there was no Winter Soldier; at least, no active one.”

“That got me thinking. He’s- what- from the 20’s? He should’ve been, say, early thirties, so 31? 32? At the time he went missing, anyways. But the thing is… Even in the future, the man looks barely in his late thirties. Barely.”

You tap your feet impatiently, boots echoing in the small space.

“But he’s been the Winter Soldier for, what, almost 70 years? Shit don’t add up.”

“So, while he’s practically responsible for so many goddamn murders, he’s probably not always… Awake. Active. I was thinking, shit, if he ain’t up and about right now, where the hell is he?”

“So I did some more digging. Found a Winter Soldier file in S.H.I.E.L.D.- er, HYDRA’s database. There’s… A bunch. Of the Winter Soldiers, I mean. But none of them were- was Barnes. Just a bunch of knock offs.”

You glance up at the floor indicator. The camera shifts and the numbers blink downwards.

-3… -4… -5...

“But I found something interestin’. There’s a- a list. Of HYDRA bases. Had no idea what they were for, but I took a hot guess.”

“One of them was Siberia. First one I went to- no Barnes. A bunch of other Winter Soldiers, though. The failed ones.”

“I…”

There’s a moment of hesitation, unsure if you should say what you’re about to say.

“I shot them dead.”

The ball drops just as the elevator dings, doors opening as you stepped out with a confidence that doesn’t match the remorse in your eyes.

“It’s. Look, I know it- that’s fucking. Insane. Inhumane. Murder. I don’t care. It’s- it’s too goddamn dangerous, having them- alive! I don’t know if there was any- any redemption for them.”

“But in the end, they- they were willing soldiers for HYDRA. The best, even. Anyone who- who willingly works for HYDRA… I’m not too sure I can trust them.”

You growled.

“Shit, I trusted Maximoff… And look where that got us.”

“I’m not fucking risking it with them.”

You shook your head, face smoothing out so it’s only the stressed wrinkles on your forehead that’s present. Your eyes soften minutely so.

“But for Barnes… There’s a chance. He’s a goddamn POW, and… If Shuri succeeded in getting rid of the trigger words, then there’s. A. Chance.”

“And… I’m willing to take that risk with him.”

The camera shifts, staring directly at the underside of your jaw. You cough and recalibrate the camera so it’s at a better angle.

“Anyways.”

“I… I went down the list. Of the bases? I didn’t- didn’t infiltrate them per se. It’s too risky- a majority of those bases are major ones. So I just… Snuck around. Looked at the infrastructure for anything that remotely looked like a certain Winter Soldier would be in.”

You stopped walking, now staring directly at something behind the camera. Your lips are pressed in a grim line.

“And I hit the jackpot.”

You should be happy about it if you took those words out of context, but your expression is far from it. Guilt, pity, and an earthly weariness mares your eyes as you huff.

“Everybody, say hi to Mr. James Buchanan Barnes.”

The camera view flips, and in the front stage center is a big chamber, similar to that of a hulk play box. But while it is smaller, the glass is noticeably thicker. In the corner, outside of the chamber, is Mark 22 standing eerily still with its glowing eyes trained on Barnes. It’s in a neutral stance, but it’s clear that it won’t hesitate to incapacitate the soldier if it came down to it.

And on the furthest wall inside the chamber is Barnes, slumped on the ground with a pool of water around him. He’s wet as well, but unconscious. He’s in his military tactical gear, too, though there are no weapons visible on him.

The microphone picks up your sigh.

“I… I don’t know what to do with him. I- I saw the fucking- freezer they kept him in, but. It was a quick operation- I had no time to get the damn thing out without them- HYDRA- noticing me. So. Guess that throws out the plan to keep him- frozen like a popsicle until further notice.”

Barnes twitches slightly, and his fingers move. There’s an audible grunt, and your breath hitches as you swerve the camera back on you. Your eyes are wide, and you throw the camera a nervous grin that’s more akin to a grimace. In the background, your suit whirs to life.

You gave a nod to the camera.

“Wish me luck.”

…

[Video end.]

[Play again?]

Masterlist

Tagged: @unsolvetheheckoutofit, @tonystanktheirondad, @ludwigvonbaethoven, @fabledxmystery

#male reader #male!reader #x male reader #male reader insert #avengers x male reader #Avengers #reader insert #Bucky Barnes #bucky barns x reader #bucky barnes x male reader #winter soldier #restart

234 notes · View notes

rahirah · 5 years ago

Note

Okay, I KNOW you've reblogged that "DVD commentary" meme at some point in your life, so: would you like to do DVD commentary on the opening scene of "My Baby Is A Centerfold"? (Or less detailed commentary on the whole "My Baby Is A Centerfold"?)

My Baby Is A Centerfold DVD Commentary

I wrote this story in 2004, fifteen years ago, so fair warning, I don't recall a lot of the minutiae that went through my head when I was writing it. However, I will do my best!

This was one of the first short stories I wrote set in the same universe as my novel series. I wrote it for the Summer of Spike community over on Livejournal – Summer of Spike was, I believe, the first of the "seasonal" fic communities, and inspired a lot of imitators (including Seasonal Spuffy and Summer of Giles, which are still going to this day) but it only lasted for a couple of rounds. Anyway, someone had recently asked me what happened to the Trio in my 'verse. I already knew that the Trio had started their careers as criminal masterminds while the events of Necessary Evils were going on, and that after NE ends, Warren would try enslaving Katrina in pretty much the same way, Katrina would end up dead, and Warren would try to frame Buffy. Buffy being in a very different frame of mind by this point in my 'verse, while she initially panics at the thought that she accidentally killed someone, Spike and Dawn are able to convince her to investigate first. And of course they discover that Katrina's been dead for several hours, so they call the police and that's when Terminal Line takes place, and Buffy makes first contact with Detective Nguyen, who becomes a recurring NPC and eventually the captain of the Sunnydale PD and is instrumental in Buffy's plan to bring the supernatural out in the open and ANYWAY.

For this story I wanted to do a lighthearted buddy cop sort of thing with Spike and Dawn, and it occurred to me that the Trio would have had to have set up their spy camera system, but since they all got arrested after the Katrina incident, they never had the chance to do anything with the footage. And in my 'verse, some of that footage would have been pretty racy. So what would happen if Buffy and Spike found out about it? The story pretty much wrote itself from there.

I could tell something was wrong the minute I walked in the door. The house had that too-quiet thundercloud feeling about it, and it wasn't just because of the blackout curtains. Buffy was still at the rink, Tara was at her summer job, and Willow was probably asleep (she's not as much of an early riser as Spike is). Normally this means an afternoon of bad TV and junk food with Spike, but the TV wasn't on. Spike always has the TV on.

So this story takes place between Necessary Evils and A Parliament of Monsters, when Spike has moved in with Buffy and Dawn, and Willow and Tara are renting the Summers's basement. It always bugged me that the characters on the show only had to worry about work when the plot required it. When the writers get bored, Buffy can suddenly support a dozen people on a starting school counselor's salary. So while I try not to make a huge deal of it in my 'verse, I do a lot of thinking about how everyone supports themselves. Especially people like Tara, who's sure as hell not getting any money from her family. And with Buffy I wanted to give her a day job that A) she would enjoy, and B) would be flexible with regard to slaying. Which is how she became a skating instructor.

When Spike moved in there was a whole big reshuffling thing, like musical chairs with bedrooms, and Spike ended up getting my old room as an office for Bloody Vengeance Inc., the demon-hunting business he and Anya started. I figured he was probably holed up in there downloading porn or something. Never overlook an opportunity to collect blackmail material is my motto. I dumped my library books on the couch and snuck upstairs with super-Slayer's-sister stealth, which wouldn't do me any good at all if Spike was actually, like, paying attention to his super-keen vampire hearing. Which apparently he wasn't, since I got all the way upstairs without a single physically impossible threat bellowed in my direction.

I had an argument about this with another fic writer once – she felt that Spike threatening Dawn with physical harm was abusive and horrible, and Dawn would be traumatized for life. I pointed out that A) it's canon that Spike does this when he's worried about Dawn's safety, and B) even if you're not a soulless vampire, it's really common for fear in a de facto parental unit to express itself as anger, C) does anyone seriously believe that Spike would ever follow through on any of those over the top threats? Seriously? And D) Dawn canonically blows off said threats and does not appear to actually feel threatened in the slightest. We ended up agreeing to disagree.

Spike was in the office, all right--I could see his hair glowing in the light of the computer monitor. I couldn't see what he was looking at, but whatever it was, it must have been really good, 'cause his eyeballs were practically SuperGlued to the screen. Or maybe really bad, because he looked horrified, not turned on. OK, what horrified William the Bloody? Besides the prospect of squiring Buffy to "Fantasy On Ice?" This I had to see. I rounded Spike's desk and peered over his shoulder. "Hey, mister, you got feelthy pictures?"

If it was Willow? Two clicks of a mouse's tail and whatever was in that window would be closed, password protected, PGP-encrypted, and accessible only through an FTP server in Outer Mongolia. Spike's way better with technology than some vampires I could name, but when he's taken by surprise he still resorts to more primitive methods. He scrambled around in his chair with the panicky flail of a cat falling off a windowsill and slapped a hand across my eyes. "Don't look!" he ordered, about half an octave higher than usual.

This story is full of early 2000s-computer jargon. It's not quite as dated as the show itself, but I give it the ol' college try.

Which meant it was a moral imperative for me to put some of that self-defense training he'd been giving me into practice and kick him in the shins--oh, come on, you'd have done it, too. "Fuck!" Spike yelled. He grabbed for his ankle, overbalanced, and banged his head on the edge of the desk as his chair rolled out from under him. He crashed to the floor, leaving me with a free-and-clear view of the computer.

For someone who's been accused of writing the Everybody Loves Spike Show, I sure have him behave like an idiot a lot.

Now, I want to make it real clear that I'm a sixteen-year-old of the world. I know all about the birds and the bees and the vampires. I've even done a little buzzing myself. And of course I know that my sister and Spike have--well, 'having sex' is way too tame for what they do. Anyway, I know all about The Sex in theory. I also know how sausages are made, in theory. That doesn't mean I'm panting for an up-close at the gooey details of either process. Especially when it involves a grainy RealPlayer file of my very naked sister bouncing up and down on my very naked best-friend-and-platonic-lust-object in Barbie's S&M Playhouse.

I may have written this whole story just to have an excuse to use the term "Barbie's S&M Playhouse."

I may have said something. It may have been 'gleep.' Luckily for my retinas, at that minute Spike lunged up over the edge of the desk and put his fist through the screen. The monitor exploded in a shower of pretty green sparks, and Spike stood there glaring at it all clenchy-jawed and snarly, breathing hard through his teeth. He turned the glare on me. "I swear by all that's unholy, Bit, the next time you sneak up on me like that I'm going to put you in a two-by-three box without benefit of hacksaw!"

Monitors! With! TUBES!!!

I glared right back--no way was he going to make this my fault. "How was I supposed to know you were watching Vampire Pervert Theater 3000?" I snapped. "I thought you were just watching NORMAL porn! Jeez, Spike, if you and Buffy are gonna to videotape your stay in the Satellite of Love, at least--"

I had another discussion with a beta about whether or not Spike would download porn. My argument was "He's a guy."

Spike vamped out and hurled the monitor clean off the desk and into the wall with a roar (and when I say 'roar,' I don't mean 'loud yell,' I mean 'roar') of "WE DIDN'T BLOODY WELL TAPE IT!"

Wow. I never knew monitors were made up of that many pieces. "You mean you taped it without telling her?" I squeaked.

"NO!" Spike flexed his computer-punching hand (bloody knuckles, shards of glass, v. sexy) and shook off the lumpies. "Someone soon-to-be-departed did! I've never seen the sodding thing before in my life!" He looked really bewildered underneath the homicidal fury.

It's really very interesting to go back and compare Early Barbverse Spike to Late Barbverse Spike in terms of what progress he makes (or doesn't make) in controlling his temper over the course of the series. Hopefully I make the progression believable.

"OK, where did you find it?" I asked. I didn't exactly want to say so, but it occurred to me that maybe Buffy had taped it without telling him. Buffy may play it all Sandra Dee on the outside, but on the inside? Pure Gypsy Rose Lee. She had to keep it all bottled up during The Angel Years, and during The Riley Years she had to be really careful not to break him, and now, well--Exhibit A, currently lying in ten zillion pieces on the floor. "Was the file just sitting on your hard drive, or...?"

Spike looked super-guilty all of a sudden. His head ducked down between his shoulders, vampire ninja turtle style. "Mighthaveclickedonalinksomethin'boutSlayers," he mumbled.

"In other words, you were surfing for Slayer porn?" I folded my arms and settled in for some primo foot-tapping. "Don't you get enough of that at home?"

The interesting thing about the Buffyverse is that the supernatural ISN'T really a secret. Tons of people know about it. It's just no one admits to knowing about it. Which makes my Buffy's job a lot easier when she decides to drag it out of the closet. Which is a roundabout way of saying, if you know where to look, of course there would be Slayer fetish websites.

"I was not! I just...happened on it, like, looking for something else!" Spike is the world's second worst liar (Willow is the winner and still champeen) and he could see I wasn't buying it. "And anyway, it's a bloody good thing I did! Christ knows how long that's been out there for any spotty little deviant with their mum's credit card number to--" His eyes went Inuyasha-huge as fresh horror overtook him. "How long has it been out there?"

Barbverse Dawn is a Sesshumaru fangirl for sure.

"I'm more worried about who the cameraman was," I said. Spiders walked up my spine for a second. "I mean, that was your bedroom, right?"

Two seconds later we burst in through the door of Mom's old room, now Buffy and Spike's House of Ill Repute. I dove for the closet and Spike ripped open the door of the big old mahogany wardrobe he'd dragged over from the crypt. (But he didn't go inside, because as everyone knows, it's very foolish to shut yourself inside a wardrobe.) I stared at the crush of cute tops and kicky boots, ooh, I bet Buffy won't miss this one, she hasn't worn it in weeks... "How many shoes does she OWN?" I pulled a box free and the whole Leaning Tower Of Gucci collapsed on me.

My fic is usually a game of Spot the Narnia Reference

"Stop larking about," Spike growled, grabbing my feebly waving hand and yanking me out of the sea of footwear. "By the angle it's got to be around here somewhere..." He did one of those effortless vampire leaps and chinned himself on the top of the wardrobe, peering over the facade of wooden curlicues on the top. "Got the bastard!" He snaked one arm over the rim and jerked something small and black free, and dropped back to the floor with a thump. "What the hell...?"

It was a tiny, palm-sized camera with a little antenna sticking out of the top. Witness the creepiness. "I'm freaking out here," I said, plopping down on the bed. "Someone actually broke into our house and hid that up there!"

Spike snarled and closed his fist, and the camera joined the monitor in Electronics Heaven before I could yell, "Wait, that's evidence!"

"Not any more, it's not."

"It could lead us back to whoever planted it," I said impatiently. "We could have woken Willow up and had her...I don't know, do something technical."

This is why Spike needs Dawn around. She's the criminal mastermind in the family.

"Point." Spike shoved his lower lip out and scowled. "If there's one, there may be more. In fact, there's got to be."

I blinked. "How can you tell?"

He looked guilty and embarrassed again. "Ah, well, you see, the web site said...

For a guy supposedly unable to feel remorse, Spike does guilty and embarrassed very well.

*****

"Oh, as they say, my God." Xander stared at the tiny repeating clip with sick fascination. "'The Hottest Slayer in a Century Meets The Coolest Vampire Ever, and Guess Who Gets Staked! Sizzling Action With Cold, Dead Seed!' And this is just the teaser. You can order a whole DVD, only $49.99. Hours of fun for the whole family."

I am pretty sure that Jonathan got Andrew to write that advertising copy.

"Well, I must say both of you have excellent technique," Anya said with an approving nod. "And Spike has a large and well-formed penis, though personally I prefer circumcised men. But I can certainly understand why you're upset if you're not getting your rightful share of the profits."

"Spike, could you cool it with the growly noises?" Willow asked, her fingers flying over the keyboard. "It's distracting. OK, there's definitely more cameras... six at least. The Magic Box, the skating rink, Spike's crypt...this one's dead... Directory, directory, who's got the root directory...hah! Xander, hand me that Unicode list."

I actually researched what all Willow would have had to do to hack into and take over the camera network. I've forgotten it all now, but for about five minutes there, my skilz were l33t.

"What I still don't get is why someone bothered to break into our house and plant cameras," I said from the opposite end of the dining room table. I was staying as far away from follow-the-bouncing-Buffy as possible. "Especially considering Spike would have ripped their heads off if he'd caught them, and Buffy would have gotten REALLY mean. If you want to make a sex film, why not just go over to one of the frat houses on campus and hire a couple of college students?"

"I hate to say it, Dawnie, but I don't think they were making a porn film." Xander tore himself away from Willow's laptop. "This is surveillance camera footage. Someone's been spying on Buffy, and the porn film is just a happy byproduct."

"But that doesn't make any sense," Willow muttered. She picked up one of the larger camera fragments with a pair of tweezers. "Look, it's all dusty, and the battery pack was dead. This hasn't worked for weeks, maybe months. Do we have any toner cartridges we could break open? I think we could use the toner as fingerprint powder, and if whoever installed these left any prints, and if Spike didn't smudge them all up with his macho camera-crushing..."

This was back when printer cartridges had loose toner in them. I had just come off working for a place where we bough giant bags of loose toner and refilled our own cartridges because it was cheaper, and by God, that stuff got EVERYWHERE.

"Oh, right, blame the victim," Spike groused. "Christ, I need a fag." He stomped over to the kitchen door, and I got up and followed him out to the back porch, which was in shadow at this time of day. He lit a cigarette and stood there puffing furiously, all formal and stiff, and it weirded me out. I mean, Spike doesn't just walk or stand or sit. Spike struts and lounges and sprawls and tucks his thumbs in his belt all "Hi, I'm Spike, and this is my crotch!"

On the other hand, somewhere underneath Spike, Vampire Sex God, is still a guy who grew up when ankles were an erogenous zone. "Spike...are you OK?"

"Didn't want you to see that," he said at last. "Not right. Not proper."

He looked absolutely miserable. Any other time I'd have patted his shoulder, but I figured I'd better roll my eyes instead. I leaned against the side of the house, ultra-cool and sophisticated and untroubled by the certain knowledge of Naked Spike a mere two layers of cloth away. "It's OK. Honest. It's not like I've never seen a naked guy before--"

So in my verse, as in canon, Dawn had a crush on Spike. And she knows perfectly well that Spike's in love with her sister, and doesn't see her that way. And she loves her sister, and wants her to be happy, and she doesn't want to be (as she puts it in another story) "pathetic" about it. So she's tried very hard to squash her crush down and pretend it doesn't exist. But sometimes...

That was a mistake. Spike went yellow-eyed, achieving zero to over-protective in six seconds. "And just who the hell--"

"You and Xander, dope, when we all went skinny dipping after that clambake. Get your mind out of the gutter." Of course vague glimpses of guy-parts decently veiled by darkness and ice-cold seawater and didn't quite, uh, measure up to, well, let's just say I'm going to be comparing my future boyfriends to Spike in more ways than one, but you know, I wasn't going to let this be weird. Spike is a total hottie, and maybe, just maybe there have been a few daydreams. Detailed daydreams. With a sound track and special effects. But there are hotties all over the planet, and not all that many guys you can talk to about important stuff like whether or not you really existed before two years ago, and whether the monks that created you remembered to add a standard-issue soul to the mix, and how incredibly annoying older sisters can be. "On second thought, I'm deeply traumatized. I think I might get over it if you talked Buffy into letting me get my navel pierced."

Spike stared at me, various bits of him twitching. "Dawn--"

I patted his shoulder, because I could. "You're gonna be inhaling filter in a minute. Let's go inside."

When we got back inside, Willow had bit and pieces of camera wired up to the laptop. "Curiouser and curiouser," she said. "The server this camera was supposed to send information to doesn't exist any longer, or at least, it's not turned on. The web site's on a regular commercial server, and the domain name's registered to Horatio Hellpop--pseudonym much? Good news, it looks like the site's only been up for a couple of days--" She broke into a triumphant grin. "We're in!"

"What're you waiting for, then?" Spike doesn't usually use his sire-to-minion voice on Willow, but he was using it now. "Take it down!"

It's not relevant to the tale at hand, so I don't belabor it here, but this Willow is a vampire with a soul. It's a long story.

"Patience, Grasshopper." Willow typed a few more cryptic strings of symbols into the laptop. "Bad news, it's going to take me a few hours to find out who the owner really is. I'll have to hack into Paypal to get his bank account info and track IP addresses and stuff."

I did not research what it would take to hack into Paypal. I have my limits.

Spike began pacing back and forth, tense and borderline vampy, looking like he really, really wanted to kill something. Or someone. "And in that time this berk could run off a hundred more copies and pass 'em out to friends as door prizes."

"Or keep them and sell fifty-seven of them to the list of people I'm downloading now," Willow said. "OK. I've disabled the site and changed the passwords, so no one will be able to order any more." She cracked her knuckles. "Give me six hours and I can clean out Larry Flynt Junior's bank account, ruin his credit history, and send anonymous tips to Donald Rumsfeld that he's a terrorist child pornographer." Willow's a little less scary without her magic, but really? Not by that much. She looked around. "Not that I would ever do anything like that."

I mean really. "Hacker" may be a 90s cliche, but I still wouldn't want one mad at me.

Spike snatched the list of names and credit card numbers off the printer and squinted at it. "Bloody hell. There's addresses all the way from Juneau to Key West." He looked at the list again, and smiled. Need I say it wasn't a very nice smile? "I think it's time to pay a visit to the locals. Could be some of them have an idea who they're ordering from. Harris, you want to take out the rest of those cameras, and--" He turned to Willow. "Will, when Buffy gets home, for God's sake don't let her suss out anything's wrong. If she finds out about this..."

My Spike still needs glasses, but is too vain to wear them. I have a number of canonical justifications for this headcanon.

All of us shuddered in unison. If Buffy found out there would be an explosion of thermonuclear proportions. Spike grabbed his motorcycle jacket and blanket and headed for the front door, and I leaped to my feet and ran after him. "Wait up! I'm going with you!"

He scowled at me. "I think not. You're going to stay here, and distract your sister like a good little minor."

"Uh-uh." I used all of my hey-Dawnie's-tall-now height to advantage. "Look, Spike, all this stuff getting out does to you is make you mad. If Buffy finds out, she's going to be..." I floundered for a minute. " Humiliated, and nobody humiliates my sister except me. I'm gonna go with you, and we're gonna find out who did it and...and... kick their butts with pointy-toed shoes."

Spike glared, but it was the old I-disapprove-on-principle-but-you're-all-right,-Niblet glare, and I knew he'd be caving in ten, nine, eight... "Move yer girly arse, then," he said with an unconvincing growl. "We've got villains to apprehend."

I scooted for the DeSoto before he could change his mind. Maybe he thought that it would be a good idea to have someone soul-having around when he was this mad, just in case. Or maybe, and I really prefer this version, he just wanted a partner in crime because it's more fun that way. Spike flung the blanket over his head and copied my dash for the car, and we flung ourselves into the DeSoto's dark interior just as Spike was beginning to sizzle. "You come along, you mind what I tell you, yeah? I say stay in the car, you stay in the car. I say you run, you run. I say you take that fucking pathetic excuse for music out of the CD player and toss it out the window--"

"--and I ignore you like always," I said cheerfully, turning up the Jennifer Lopez.

"Fine. If anyone dies tonight, it's on your head. Some things are beyond any self-respecting vampire's endurance." Spike slammed into reverse and backed out of the driveway with a screech of tires. I grabbed the door handle. Driving with Spike is always a character-building experience, and today was no exception. "First on the hit parade?"

I scanned the list. "Vernon Blakely, 1583 East Beechwood. What are we gonna say to Mr. Blakely when we get there?"

Spike gazed out through the little clean space in the windshield, obviously pondering which limb he should rip off first, and peeled out like there was a mob with torches after us. "Improvisation is a virtue, Bit."

I had absolutely no idea how they would get the DVDs back. The next several scenes are just me letting the characters take the reins and do whatever the hell they wanted to.

**********

Spike was smoking gently beneath his blanket when the shade-deficient door of 1583 East Beechwood opened to our urgent hammering, and a middle-aged guy with thinning red hair and freckles and a pot belly opened it and blinked at us. He looked like Mr. Weasley gone to seed. "Mr. Blakely?" I said with my brightest, shiniest smile.

The Blakely looked from me to Spike, and the contrast seemed to produce some kind of cognitive dissonance on his part. "Can I... have we met?"

"Only in spirit." Spike leaned heavily against the doorframe, with a smile that was probably supposed to be reassuring, but which made him look like he was sporting fangs even when he wasn't. Spike isn't a big guy--in fact, he's on the smallish side, but he's got, you know, muscles. And this air of being able to rip your liver out. Also did I mention the muscles? "I'm given to understand you made a purchase recently from...ah..." He glanced surreptitiously at the paper in his hand. "...Mad Genius Productions?"

Mr. Blakely looked at me, dubious, and at Spike, nervous. "What of it? If I'd done anything like that, which I didn't."

"We're from the, uh, department of quality control," I chirped. "The DVDs are..."

"Radioactive," Spike put in. "Rot your goolies off just like that. " I gave him an elbow-jab.

"Defective," I said firmly. "Glitches. Pixelization. It's criminal the kind of shoddy merchandise we put out. We're recalling them and giving you a replacement at absolutely no charge!"

Spike held up a jewel case and flashed it under Blakely's nose. "Director's cut. Added scenes. 40% more filth for the price."

Suspicion was gathering in Mr. Blakely's watery blue eyes. "Hey, you're that guy from the video," he said.

Spike heaved a melodramatic sigh. "All right, all right, as you've twisted my arm, I'll autograph it for you."

I honestly did not expect him to say that, but somehow there I was, typing it.

The watery eyes brightened. "Really?"

Five minutes later we were dashing for the car again, with the confused Mr. Blakely waving us goodbye. "So what's he going to do when he discovers he's been suckered for a bootleg copy of J-Lo's latest?" I asked, as we tore away from the curb.

"Long as it's got some bint with her tits hanging out on the cover, I doubt he'll notice the difference." Spike grinned. "There'd just better be some hitting involved in the next one."

**********

"I don't believe there's any such thing as a Department of Quality Control," Mr. Angusson said, looking us up and down. "What the hell kind of scam are you pulling?"

"All we want to do is to replace--" I started.

"Look, missy, I bought that DVD nice and legal, and I don't give a crap if whatever goombah and his girlfriend put on plastic fangs to do it is having second thoughts now. So you and your boyfriend just toddle off and--"

"HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPP!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "HE'S SHOWING ME HIS THING! IT'S ALL GROSS AND PURPLE AND--"

I didn't expect Dawn to do that, either. And yet!

Angusson disappeared and reappeared in two seconds flat, chucking the DVD at our heads.

"Better," Spike said as we tore out yet again. "But I'm still feeling a lack in the hitting things area."

Mr. Fishbein retreated a step from the threshold. "I'm not giving you anything, and I'm not letting you in," he quavered. "What do you think I am, stupid? You're a vampire!"

Honestly, it's Sunnydale. SOMEONE has to get it.

Spike rolled his eyes. He's learned from the masters. "Oh, bollocks, you don't really believe--"

"Oh, yeah?" Fishbein challenged. "Step through that door!"

I stepped through the door, grabbed Fishbein's hand and gave him a good hard yank, right across the threshold and into Spike's waiting fist.

"What was that?," Spike caroled, drawing back for another punch. "Come on in and have a cuppa, Spike? Better repeat it, I'm a touch deaf in that ear."

"That was unnecessarily bloody," I said as we hopped into the car and stepped on the gas, one DVD richer.

"He'll live," Spike said dismissively. "Probably. Next?"

**********

I figured I had to give Spike SOME violence, or he'd get mopey.

"Can you see--?" I hissed, trying to get a better view through the front window. It was getting dark, and I was out of practice at sneaking around not-really-abandoned buildings. Spike shushed me and crept around to the door. I peered through the sad straggly thevetia hedge, cupping my hands against the dirty glass. The place was just crawling with innnnnnteresting monsters, all huddled around a crappy old black and white TV. There's some law against demons watching flatscreen color, apparently.

"Oh, my God, are they really...you know....doing it?" The Gorthesch demon bumped a couple of Fyarls further down on the couch and plunged a scaly paw into the bowl of popcorn as they all stared at the flickering screen. "With a Slayer? I mean, I heard about it, but I didn't think even a vampire could sink that low."

"Real vampires don't," the lone vampire in the crowd protested, voice dripping disgust. "Maybe great big Slayer-whipped pussies do, but--"

"Shut up!" came a chorus of squeaky, growly, and croaky voices. Despite the complaints, everyone seemed to like the show. There were tongues hanging out. At least, I hope they were tongues.

"Yeah, it's just gettin' to the good part," a Syvithis demon whispered.

"Oooh! The one with the pommel horse?"

"No, where the Slayer goes down on him in the graveyard and he--"

I actually wrote a PWP detailing all the scenes in The Spuffy Sex Tape. An edited-down version eventually got incorporated into A Parliament of Monsters, when Angelus gets a hold of one of the copies that Spike and Dawn aren't able to track down in this story.

The front door imploded with a crash, splinters flying everywhere, and Spike strode into the room over the wreckage, a gleam in his eye and a really, really big axe slung over one shoulder. He surveyed the assortment of demons with a grin almost as big as the axe and about twice as vicious, ran his tongue over his teeth and and tucked his free thumb in his belt loop, fingers splayed over the merchandise. Just like old times. "Looks like you're right, mate," he said. "We are just getting to the good part."

**********

"OK, I take it back," I said as we headed for home. "THAT was unnecessarily bloody." It was after midnight, and we'd collected twenty-two DVDs, broken and entered fifteen houses and/or lairs, killed or maimed eight demons, broken five human fingers accidentally-on-purpose, and signed two autographs. Spike had definitely achieved his hitting things quota, and it was a safe bet that no one in Sunnydale would be mentioning Spike and Buffy's brief but eventful movie career in public any time soon.

"All right, p'raps the railroad spike was a bit much, but a bloke gets nostalgic." Spike stretched, all luxurious and satisfied, and lit up a fresh cig, trailing smoke out the window. He had a black eye and a split lip and a scrape right across the place where his cheekbone goes all knife-edgy, and the stretching made things creak inside that probably weren't supposed to creak, but he was in a much, much better mood. "He'll grow a new head."

Where did Spike get a railroad spike on short notice? I have no idea. He's just resourceful that way.

"If you say so," I said, a bit dubious. "Doesn't that only happen when you cut the old one off?"

"So it'll take a bit longer." Spike bounced a little in his seat, all hepped up on the old ultra-violence. "Still haven't found the bastard who's selling the things, though. Must be a bleeding criminal mastermind if--" I Wanna Be Sedated beebled from the cell phone in his pocket. (Like I said, a lot better with technology than some vampires I can name. He can even program it, though considering the songs he picks, sometimes we wish he couldn't.) He grabbed the phone one-handed and didn't slow down even a bit as he zipped through freeway traffic. (Well, he is evil.) "Yeh? You must be joking. You must be--fuck. That little--I'll tear his soddin' head off! Yeh, I know. I'll just bruise him a little." He clicked the phone off and stuffed it back in his pocket, spun the wheel and zigged across four lanes of traffic towards the off-ramp, leaving a chorus of screeching brakes behind us. "After I tear his soddin' head off."

"Where are we going?" I yelled.

Spike hunched over the wheel, eyes grim. "Off to see the wizard."

We pulled up in front of one of the cruddy lease-by-the-month apartment buildings over by the UC Sunnydale campus. Maybe it was the same one Dad and I stayed at when he came down from L.A. to take care of Buffy's estate that time she was dead--the second time, I mean, not the first time. Some of the grease spots in the parking lot looked familiar.

It just struck me as I was describing the building that it was almost identical to the one I'd described in Necessary Evils, so I thought I'd better lampshade it.

"Apartment 42B, Will says." Spike sucked in his cheeks and narrowed his eyes, scoping out the disintegrating stucco overhead. "There at the end." He slapped his hands together and bounded towards the stairs like he was scaling Everest. I followed like I was scaling a rickety stepladder. (Hey, lack of supernatural stamina here. I was getting pretty darned tired.) The lights were on in 42B, and we paused outside the door, which was painted in barf-making 80s turquoise. Spike pounded on it with one fist. "Open up! Land shark!"

I heard some rustling and thumping noises inside, and a crash like a bookcase falling over. "Go away!" a strangely familiar voice yelled. "You can't get in here anyway!"

"Yeh? Maybe not, but I can stand out here till you starve to death. Or set the building on fire, or...uh..." Spike paced the catwalk for a second, smoking like a fiend, which I guess is appropriate. I was pretty sure the fire thing was a bluff, since Spike's not usually one for indirect mayhem. He's got the whole hitting things fetish, after all. Then his eyes lit up and he grinned. "Maybe I can't walk through your door, but there's nothing says I can't kick it down and send in my terrible mute minion, Paco." He whirled around and unleashed one of his shitkicker boots at the door. BANG! The whole building shuddered (which sounds impressive, but considering it was probably made out of pressboard and Kleenex, isn't so much). WHAM! A hinge sprung and the doorframe cracked. I buffed my nails and waited--obviously Spike was holding back.

I don't know why more vampires don't do things like this.

"I'm gonna lose my deposit!" the voice inside wailed.

"My heart bleeds. Oh, wait, no it doesn't. Open up, or--"

The door flew open, or tried to (Spike had knocked it kind of cattywompus, and it stuck halfway.) A face peered out, pale and pear-shaped and nervous under slept-in dark hair. Behind it was a barren little studio apartment littered with pizza boxes, comic books, and boxes of DVDs and padded mailers. There was practically no furniture except a mattress and a desk with a pretty sweet computer and home studio setup.

My hand shot out and I grabbed Pasty-face by the ear and pulled, hard. "Jonathan?!" I yipped. Jonathan squirmed and batted at me, but I dug my nails in. "YOU'RE the criminal mastermind?"

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" he yelled. "Let me go, don't let him kill me, I didn't mean to, it's not my fault!"

"Oh, for God's sake, quit whining," I snapped, letting go. "Spike hasn't even touched you."

Spike took a drag on his cigarette, peeled himself off the railing and sort of glided over, all slouchy and menacing, with the angle of the floodlights leaving black caverns where his eyes should be. Jonathan squinched in on himself. "You just don't learn, do you?" Spike asked, soft and pee-your-pants scary. "How long've you had those cameras on us?"

Jonathan backed away with a panicky shuffle. "They're not mine! They were Warren's, and they haven't worked since the police confiscated all his computer stuff! Honest! I just happened to have some files I'd saved for, for--"

"Wanking material?" Spike asked, excessively sarcastic.

"Research!" Jonathan reached the wall and sat down very abruptly. "I didn't mean anything by it! All I wanted was to raise some money so Warren and Andrew could get a better lawyer! Someone who knows about demon-related cases, like Goldberg & Osbourne, or Wolfram & Hart. I didn't think you'd ever find out, and I'm really, really, really sorry, please don't kill me, please, please, PLEASE don't kill me--"

Goldberg & Osbourne is a real law firm in Phoenix, AZ, known for being sleazy ambulance-chasers. A joke that only I ever got.

"Didn't mean anything by dragging a lady's reputation in the dirt?" Spike roared (and again, by roared, I mean, well, roared). He grabbed Jonathan by his Robotech jammies and hauled him up nose-to-nose--Jonathan's one of the few guys Spike can look down on. "Well, maybe I won't mean anything when I rip your balls off and stuff them in your eye sockets, how's that?"

"Why?" I asked, grabbing Spike's arm. I realized I'd been wanting to ask that question for a long time. "Why, Jonathan? I mean, I get Warren and whatsisface--they had grudges against Buffy, but you used to be--" Well, not her friend, not really. "She saved your life! You gave her the Class Protector award! She let you off the hook when she turned Warren over to the cops--you were an accessory to murder, Jonathan, and she let you go! I don't get it. Why are you helping them?"

Jonathan yanked his pajama top out of Spike's grip and pulled himself up like he'd taken a dose of Insta-Spine. "Because they're my friends," he said, very simply, meeting Spike's yellowing eyes head-on. "And I know they're not much, but they're all I've got. Whatever else happens, you've got to stand by your friends, right? Or what's the point?" He sighed, squared his shoulders, and looked up at Spike with a little smile. "It's a fair cop. I guess you'd better do whatever it is you're going to do."

I wanted Jonathan to redeem himself a little bit, kinda?

Spike stood there looking at Jonathan, head cocked in the His Master's Voice pose he gets when he's trying really, really hard to figure out the motivations of the souled. And I knew what was going through his head. Spike was looking for a reason not to kill him.

See, Spike doesn't have a soul. He doesn't do good stuff because it's right. He can't. He's not wired that way, as he puts it. But he can do good stuff if there's a reason--like if it helps him somehow, or makes someone he loves happy. Or if it makes him feel, for a minute, like he's a man and not a monster, which is a feeling he really likes. And that's the cool thing about Spike, the thing I really love about him, and I think probably the thing Buffy loves too: not the cheekbones or the attitude or the mad combat skilz or what's under those jeans, but that he does like that feeling, and so Spike looks for those reasons. Looks real hard. Harder, I think sometimes, than some people with souls.

I'm just sayin'.

"Right," he said at last. And he hauled off and punched Jonathan right in the nose.

"YEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOW!" Jonathan fell over, clutching his face, and gore splattered everywhere. "By dose! You broge by dose!"

But still, well, evil.

"Just be glad that's all I've broke," Spike said. He wiped his knuckles on his t-shirt instead of licking the blood off, which was a pretty big compliment, really. Congratulations, Jonathan, you've graduated to Not-Food! "Christ, where's the fun in beating the shit out of a pathetic little wibbling sod like you?" He pulled a handkerchief out of his jacket pocket (that's another moderately cool thing about Spike: he carries pocket handkerchiefs) and tossed it to Jonathan. "Grab the goods, Bit. It's time to call it a night."

Jonathan sat there snorfling blood into the hanky while I ferried the DVDs and Jonathan's hard drive out to Spike--I figured Willow could check it out for contraband and return it, so we weren't stealing it exactly. As we started down the stairs with the last armload, Spike turned back to Jonathan, almost amiable. "Word to the wise. I don't forget what your friends put Buffy through. If you want to do your pals a real favor, maybe you ought to remember that while I'm out here, and they're safe in stir, no one's likely to get eaten accidental-like, eh?"

Now this! At the time that I wrote this, I had NO IDEA that Warren would come back and cause trouble later, and that Spike would, in fact, end up eating him. Indeed, by the time I wrote "The Lesser of Two Evils," I had completely forgotten that I'd written this line, and when I stumbled upon it when re-reading a couple of years later, it was this totally serendipitous piece of foreshadowing. Sometimes writing is so cool!

Jonathan stared at him, and nodded a little. And we left.

**********

It was past two o'clock when we got home. We locked the DVDs in the trunk of the DeSoto, which had been the closet for a lot of other skeletons in its day, and after a short consultation on how to best avoid Ordeal By Buffy, we strolled into the house as if we were coming in from a late patrol and nothing in the universe was wrong.

Willow was still tapping away at her laptop in the dining room. "I'm just tracking down the copies on eBay," she whispered, "and sending out fake cease and desist orders from Mad Genius Productions. Buffy's in bed. She doesn't suspect a thing." She noted our alarmed glances and added, a bit huffily, "Don't worry, Xander took care of the the subterfuge part. Did you get him?"

"Yeh, he's got." Spike rolled his head and rubbed back of his neck. "Battle of the ages. Christ, I'm glad that's done with." He eyed our crumpled list of victims thoughtfully. "Wonder if I could fake a business trip to Juneau."

"Don't press your luck," Willow said drily.

"Someday I'm going to sire someone with a minimum of respect for their elders," Spike growled.

Willow grinned, smug. "And they'll bore you so much you'll stake them inside forty-eight hours. Shoo. Buffy's waiting for you."

So we headed for the stairs, and as I put my foot on the first step, I heard Spike heave a big sigh behind me. "Thanks, Bit. Couldn't have managed without you." When I looked back, he was staring at the toes of his boots, all awkward and embarrassed. "I just hope this hasn't... hasn't..."

"Spike, I'll always think of you as my brother." I waited two beats, and added with a perfectly straight face, "My brother with the enormous schlong."

I got three whole steps before Spike came after me and chased me all the way upstairs.

This story is the second of three I wrote ("The Road to Byzantium" and "A Dark and Stormy Night" are numbers one and three) which has Dawn moving on from her crush and into a more grown-up friendship with Spike as a major theme, and hopefully it works. And they all lived happily ever after, at least until I got another idea!

#btvs #fic discussion #thenewbuzwuzz #spuffy #fan fiction #dvd commentary

16 notes · View notes

file-formats-programming · 7 years ago

Text

Get Floating Table Position & Dynamic Shape Fill Color Setting for LINQ Reporting Engine using .NET

What's New in this Release?

Aspose development team is happy to announce the monthly release of Aspose.Words for .NET 17.9.0. This month’s release contains over 102 useful new features, enhancements and bug fixes. There are some important features and API changes in part of this month’s release, such as LINQ Reporting Engine supports dynamic shape background coloring, Improved optional hyphen handling and fixed related infinite loop issue, Improved floating table re-breaking in specific scenarios where content of a table used to be lost outside of a page, Improved table grid computation when cells contain tab characters, Further improved character spacing control handling, PCL documents rendering improved. UCS-2 symbol sets can now be mapped to the printer built-in fonts – it allows to print non-ascii symbols with built-in fonts if supported by printer, A ‘cosmetic’ pen (i.e. pen with fixed 1-pixel width) rendering improved in metafile output documents, Font metrics calculation affecting the vertical positioning of text for GDI+ output rendering improved, Added fallback for strokes with unsupported binary raster operations in metafile rendering, Gamma-correction flag is now taken into account while rendering metafiles brushes and Metafile warnings improved. This release has introduced new feature for setting the fill color of Shape node using LINQ Reporting. Please refer to the article Setting Background Color Dynamically for more detail in the documentation section. A new constant is added into the MsWordVersion enumeration type. It can be passed into the CompatibilityOptions.OptimizeFor method to optimize the document contents as well as Aspose.Words behavior to match MS Word 2016 version. Aspose team has added public property OleFormat.OlePackage to provide ability to set file name, extension and display name for OLE Package when inserting ole object using MemoryStream. Please refer to the article Set File Name and Extension when Inserting Ole Object for more detail. A new feature has been added in this release to get the position of floating table. It has removed following obsolete public methods from DigitalSignatureUtil class. Instead, the methods with SignOptions class should be used. Added warnings for unsupported binary raster operations. Also added fallback to bitmap rendering in this case on .NET platform. Changed type of warnings about unsupported metafile records from DataLoss/Unexpected Content to more appropriate MinorFormattingLoss. It has removed warnings about unsupported metafile records, which do not affect the output. The list of new and improved features added in this release are given below

Table width is changed after conversion from Docx to Pdf.

Add feature to include all styles in Resources\AllStyles2007.docx from StyleIdentifier Enum

Shifted text in a document after conversion from MS Word to PDF

When DOCX is saved as PDF, table columns have incorrect width

Add feature to fill shape (text-box) color in Linq Reporting Engine

Built-in styles in MSW 2013 are different than in MSW 2007.

Provide method that returns Text in the same order as we see in MS Word, Google Docs, LibreOffice etc

Applying a radial gradient fill (hardware rendering).

Applying a rectangular gradient fill (hardware rendering).

Implement support of transform for radial gradient fill (hardware rendering).

TOC line spacing is changed in PDF output.

Empty table appears in ouput PDF

Get position of floating table in public API

/revision marks/ Support revision marks upon rendering

Shape gets overlapped due to its incorrect position

Applying simple textures (such as Color, Gradient, Picture, etc.) for 3D shapes (hardware rendering)

Issue when loading HTML with incorrect namespace declarations

Incorrect table position in DOM API and resultant HTML

To set file name and extension when inserting ole object using MemoryStream

Support to evaluate IF condition

Shading.BackgroundPatternColor returns incorrect value after updating Theme color

Demo code of Page Splitter has to be simplified and reviewed.

Contents move down to the page after conversion from Docx to Pdf

Position of table's rows is changed after conversion from Docx to Pdf

Table truncates in PDF - only one page in rendered

Font changed in saved .rtf document

Table on edge of page is mangled in PDF

Multipage table content cutting off on transforming Word to PDF

Blank pages appear in generated ODT

/character spacing control/ Chinese text moves to next line after conversion from Doc to HtmlFixed

Row's contents are truncated after conversion from Docx to Pdf

Docx to Pdf conversion issue with table's rendering

Cell's contents are truncated at the bottom of page in output Pdf

Table's cells are completely lost after re-saving Odt

Html save as Odt - tables display incorrectly

Distance between list item marker and text increases after saving to HTML

"DOCX to WML" conversion result has wrong output.

DOCX to PDF conversion losing pages

Incorrect table/page layout // DOCX to PDFA: some text is missing in resultant PDFA document

TOC paragraph spacing difference in Aspose.Words and MS Word

MS Word 2016 shows page number incorrectly in status bar after saving RTF To DOCX

Formatting issue in PDF printing

Process hangs during rendering DOCX to PDF

/character spacing control/ Position of line break changes in rendered document

DOCX to PDF conversion issue with Khmer text

Text is wrapped to next line in table after conversion from DOCX to PDF

Images are overlapped after conversion from DOCX to HtmlFixed

List label values are incorrect after joining documents

DOCX to PDF conversion issue with SmartArt rendering

DOCX to PNG conversion issue with text formatting

DOCX to Image conversion issue with text formatting

Greek letter µ converted to M when DOCX saved as PDF

Text overlaps on header row border in resultant Image

Other most recent bug fixes are also included in this release

Newly added documentation pages and articles

Some new tips and articles have now been added into Aspose.Words for .NET documentation that may guide users briefly how to use Aspose.Words for performing different tasks like the followings.

Optimize Document to Particular MS Word Version

Setting Background Color Dynamically

Overview: Aspose.Words

Aspose.Words is a word processing component that enables .NET applications to read, write and modify Word documents without using Microsoft Word. Other useful features include document creation, content and formatting manipulation, mail merge abilities, reporting features, TOC updated/rebuilt, Embedded OOXML, Footnotes rendering and support of DOCX, DOC, WordprocessingML, HTML, XHTML, TXT and PDF formats (requires Aspose.Pdf). It supports both 32-bit and 64-bit operating systems. You can even use Aspose.Words for .NET to build applications with Mono.

More about Aspose.Words

Homepage Aspose.Words for .NET

Download Aspose.Words for .NET

Online documentation of Aspose.Words

#Get Position of Floating Table #Dynamic Shape Fill Color Setting #LINQ Reporting Engine #Set File Name of Ole Object #.NET Word processing API #table grid computation improved

0 notes

snarky-sims-witch · 6 years ago

Text

Get a Life Challenge

Welcome to the Get a Life Challenge for The Sims 4! Begin by getting a job and moving out of Mom’s house, then work your way up from trashed party pads to lavish mansions, making friends and raising a family along the way! PSST! Does this sound familiar? It should! You’ll be playing Get a Life mode from The Sims on PlayStation 2 and GameCube... in The Sims 4.

Objective

Like the original console game, you’ll progress through six levels, completing a set of goals in each level before progressing to the next level. A CC-free save with exact replicas of every lot from the original console game has already been set up for you in Newcrest. Your roommates for each lot (Mom, Mimi, and Dudley) are also included in this save and are also CC-free. Everything has been set up for you. All you need to do is hop in and play.

Rules

These rules apply to every level in the game. You must abide by these rules throughout the entire challenge. See goals for each level for any rules for specific levels.

No mods! You will have to play the game exactly as it was intended to be played, just like you had to play the original console game exactly as it was intended to be played.

No cheats except the ones the rules specifically instruct you to use.

CC that does not change the game in any way can be used.

Pay your bills on time. Self-explanatory.

You may not change or add to the existing lot traits on any house. Each house already has one trait and that is the trait you are stuck with.

You must maintain the original value of every home you live in. If you move out of a home that’s worth less than it was when you moved in, deduct the difference from your funds. You can avoid this penalty by making sure anything you sell in the house is replaced with something of greater or equal value before you move out.

You must leave every home in good condition. Deduct §100 from your funds for every dirty object, dish, trash pile and puddle left on the lot when you move out. Deduct $500 for every broken object on the lot when you move out. You can avoid this penalty by cleaning up the house and fixing anything that’s broken before you move out.

Just like the original console game, you may not leave your home lot except to go to work at an inactive career. You may not go visit other Sims, go to public venues, or go on dates off your home lot. You must invite any Sims you wish to socialise with to your house or chat with them on the phone. Your Sim may walk/jog around the common space in their home neighbourhood but cannot interact with anything off their lot except other Sims.

You may only earn money from careers, home activities related to your career (painting, writing books, programming, etc) and selling home objects unless otherwise stated in the individual level rules.

Small objects (trash, dirty dishes, toys, seed packets, etc) cannot be clicked and dragged anywhere. Your Sim must clean up these items themselves or hire a maid after they unlock the maid during the challenge.

Your Sim must start each new level with the same amount of money they had at the end of the previous level. No magic money from shuffling households! Use the money cheat to reduce your household funds to what they were before if you find yourself with extra money from moving around. The same rule applies to any Sims who move in and bring money with them. Get rid of it immediately with the money cheat.

You may not move any Sims into the household except the ones specifically outlined in the challenge (Mom, Mimi/Dudley, your second roommate, and your spouse). You may not move in any of these Sims before the challenge instructs you to.

Aging must be OFF for all Sims, including your active household. Make sure Move Into Empty Homes is unchecked. You don’t want townies moving into the lots you’ll need to play through.

Get a Life

Download the save that’s already been set up for you here. It is recommended that you have most or all add-on packs since this save uses pack content from every expansion and game pack, as well as Perfect Patio, Vintage Glamour, Backyard, Romantic Garden, Cool Kitchen, and Kids Room. If you do not have all pack content listed, you may replace any missing content with similar content you do have in free build mode.

Unzip the folder and copy the files inside. Place them into Documents > Electronic Arts > The Sims 4 > saves. You may get an error message telling you there are already files with that name in the folder. If this happens, copy your saves folder to your desktop for safekeeping, then delete the contents of the saves folder in your Documents before pasting the files from the download into the folder.

Open the game and load the save called Get a Life Challenge, then begin making your Sim in CAS. Your Sim can be either a young adult or an adult. They must be human. They can have any gender customization, traits, aspiration, physical appearance, voice, and walk style you want. You may use any CC you like as long as the CC does not alter the game mechanics in any way.

You may NOT use the in-game personality quiz. This was not a feature of the original console game and it’s not a feature of this challenge, either. Your Sim will be starting from scratch like the good ol’ days.

You may not add other Sims or pets to the household in CAS. Just make one Sim to play through this challenge with.

When you are finished making your Sim, move them into the Money From Mom lot in Newcrest. Do not kick Mom out of the house. Your Sim will be living with her. It should not cost anything to move here since you are merging households, not purchasing an empty property.

Before you do anything in Mom’s house, bring up the cheat console by pressing CTRL+SHIFT+C and type in “money 100″ without the quotations.

LEVEL 1: Money From Mom

Lot Value: §21,130

Story

You’re in a beautiful mansion with a sexy Sim who invites you to come “play” in the hot tub with them. Well, who would say no to that? You get in and start getting busy until... “WAKE UP! WAKE UP! ARE YOU GOING TO SLEEP ALL DAY?!” It was all a dream and you wake up in reality in your mother’s house.

Goals

Borrow 800 Simoleons from Mom: Build your Charisma skill up to level 7 (when you can ask for a small loan) and become best friends with Mom. Once you’ve done these two things, you may use the money cheat to give yourself 800 simoleons.

Cook a Meal on the Stove Without Starting a Fire

Fix the TV

Maintain House Value: If the home is worth less than it was when you moved in upon moving out, deduct the difference from your Sims’ funds.

Get a Job (Inactive Careers Only!): Mom doesn’t think you’re ready to get a job until you’ve proven yourself capable of handling grown up things. You must complete all other goals first before you tackle this one.

Rules

You may control Mom, but Mom cannot clean, cook or repair anything. She may grab quick meals and leftovers from the fridge.

Mom cannot have a job.

You may not hire a maid or repair technician. These will be unlocked in the next level.

Since the game does not see Mom as being related to your Sim, there is a chance she may try to initiate Romance socials with your Sim. If this bothers you, you may use the “cas.fulleditmode” cheat to make her your Sim’s mother in CAS. Alternatively, you can just ignore the Romance socials.

Once all goals are completed, you may move on to the next level. Since you can’t sell Mom’s house (because Mom still lives there), you may use the freerealestate cheat to move into the Reality Bites house. You must purchase it furnished.

LEVEL 2: Reality Bites

Lot Value: §29,625

Story

Your mom has some connections with Malcolm Landgraab and manages to secure a small home for you to start your life in. The catch? His kids have trashed the place partying and he wants you to fix it up for him so he can sell it.

Goals

Clean up the Place

Fix the Broken Stuff

Repair the Damaged Kitchen: Clean up and repair everything in the kitchen, then replace the missing/damaged walls and flooring.

Get Promoted to Career Level 3

Rules

Once you’ve cleaned the entire house, you may hire a maid from now on.

Once you’ve repaired all the broken objects in the house, you may hire a repair technician from now on.

Once all goals are completed, you may move on to the next level. Do not use the freerealestate cheat. It shouldn’t cost anything to move into the Party Animals house because you’ll be merging with Mimi and Dudley who already live there.

LEVEL 3: Party Animals

Lot Value: §42,896

Story

Malcolm’s impressed with how you’ve managed to turn that dump around. He’s made a nice profit off the property thanks to you. He sends his kids over to invite you to move in with them. He’s hoping you might be able to improve this property too and keep his party animal twins in line.

Goals

Throw a Raging Party: Throw a house party and earn a gold medal in it.

Upgrade Your Abode: Increase the house value by 3,000 simoleons. Reward objects from careers and throwing good parties may be used to contribute to this goal but you must leave those objects behind when you move out.

Get Promoted to Career Level 5

Move out with a Roommate after a Party: You must complete all other goals before you tackle this goal. Become friends with a party guest of your choosing, then ask them to move in once the party ends. Deduct any money they bring into the household from your funds using the money cheat.

Rules

When you first move in, kick out one of the Landgraab twins. In the original game, your roommate would be the same gender as your Sim. Since gender is non-binary in The Sims 4, you may choose which Landgraab twin you prefer to live with. They both have the same traits and aspiration so your decision will not impact the challenge in any way.

You may control Mimi/Dudley and get them a job (inactive only), but they cannot build any skills for their career, cook, clean, or repair anything. They may grill on the BBQ and grab quick meals and leftovers from the fridge.

You cannot marry Mimi/Dudley or have children with them, but you can romance them if you wish.

Your roommate for the next level cannot be Mimi or Dudley.

Once all other goals are completed, you may move on to the next level. Move your Sim and their new roommate into the Hot To Trot house. Use the freerealestate cheat. You must purchase it furnished.

LEVEL 4: Hot To Trot

Lot Value: §41,636

Story

Freedom at last! You’ve managed to find a new roommate at one of your parties and move into their much nicer pad. Things are finally starting to look up. Maybe it’s time to start thinking about settling down?

Goals

Throw a Raging Party: Throw a house party and earn a gold medal in it.

Upgrade Your Abode: Increase the house value by 5,000 simoleons. Reward objects from careers and throwing good parties may be used to contribute to this goal but you must leave those objects behind when you move out.

Get Promoted to Career Level 7

Propose to a Party Guest at a Party: All other goals must be completed first. The party guest must accept the proposal for this goal to count as completed.

Rules

You may control your roommate. Gone are the days of lazy, useless roommates! Your new roommate can build skills, cook, clean, repair objects, get a job (inactive only) and gain promotions in that job.

You cannot marry your roommate or have children with them but you can romance them if you wish. The Sim you marry must be a party guest outside the household.

You may propose to a Sim of any gender, regardless of your Sim’s gender.

Once all goals are complete, you may move on to the next level. Move your Sim and their fiance/e to the Who Loves Ya Baby house. Use the freerealestate cheat. You must purchase it furnished.

LEVEL 5: Who Loves Ya Baby

Lot Value: §56,837

Story

Your mom’s done one last favour for you as a wedding gift and asked Malcolm to let you and your spouse live in his old family home that he wants renovated. It’s a bit cluttered but with some TLC, it could be a great place to raise a family.

Goals

Get Married: Marry the Sim you got engaged to at the end of the last level. If you and your spouse get divorced, you will need to complete this goal again with a different Sim. You may choose to elope or throw a wedding party, but the party must be on the home lot.

Upgrade Your Abode: Increase the value of the home by 7,000 simoleons. Reward objects from careers and throwing good parties may be used to contribute to this goal but you must leave those objects behind when you move out.

Get Promoted to Career Level 9

Have Two Children: Your Sim’s children do not need to belong to your Sim’s spouse. If any children are born in a different household, use Household Management to move them into your household as soon as they are born. You may also choose to adopt two children but they must be babies.

Take Care of Babies: Avoid having your babies taken away by social services. If social services takes them, you must have two more babies to replace the ones that were removed from the home.

Keep Children in School: Avoid failing grades. If social services comes to remove your children because they failed school, you must have more children to replace the ones that were removed from the home.

Rules

You may control your spouse and children. Your spouse may build skills, cook, clean, repair objects, get a job (inactive only) and earn promotions in that job. Your children can build skills, clean, do their homework and complete school projects.

Age up your babies after 3 full Sim days and no sooner.

Age up your toddlers immediately to skip the toddler stage entirely.

Do not age up your children. They will stay that age until the end of the challenge.

Do not hire a nanny or send the babies to daycare. They didn’t exist in The Sims on console and they don’t exist in this challenge. Take vacation days, use family leave, whatever you need to do to make sure an adult is home with the babies at all times. Children can be left alone in the home without supervision.

Once all goals have been completed, you may move on to the final level. Move your Sim, their spouse, and two children into The Last Simoleon house. Do not use the freerealestate cheat. Sell your current house with all its belongings via the move menu to purchase the final house. This does not break the previous rule about not selling off items. You must purchase the final house furnished.

LEVEL 6: The Last Simoleon

Lot Value: §47,171

Story

Your mother has some shocking news; she and Malcolm are getting married! They want to move into the home you’re currently living in so they’re giving you Malcolm’s mansion. Now’s the time to start saving up for retirement!

Goals

Get Promoted to Career Level 10

Send the Kids to Prep School: Once the children have an A grade in school, you can move them out of the house. If Parenthood is installed, the children must also have all five character values in positive trait range. You can either dump them on Mom and just pretend they went to prep school or download my CC-free lot Savant Boarding School from the Gallery (ID: SnarkyWitch). Deduct 3,000 simoleons from your household funds when you move out the children. Prep School tuition costs 1,500 simoleons per child.

Save 50,000 Simoleons for an Early Retirement: This does not include the value of your home. You must have 50,000 simoleons on hand.

Throw Your Last but Greatest Party: This time, throw any type of party you want. It must reach gold level. No guest can be in a negative emotional state when the party ends.

Have a Baby: This only applies if your children die or get taken away by social services. You’ll need to replace the children you lost and complete all the same goals with them.

Once all goals have been completed, congratulations! You’ve completed the Get a Life Challenge! Go tell all your friends about it and share the challenge with them!

And maybe toss a coin or two into my coffee fund as a thank you for building all these lots, making the Sims, and converting an entire retro Sims game to The Sims 4?

#the sims 4 #ts4 #the sims 4 challenge #TS1toTS4 #conversion #the sims #get a life challenge #mychallenges

142 notes · View notes

nahassh · 2 years ago

Text

How to save from visio on mac

How to save from visio on mac pdf#

How to save from visio on mac software#

How to save from visio on mac windows#

How to save from visio on mac pdf#

From there, you can save the PDF file to your hard drive. This opens the PDF file in the default PDF reader program on your PC. If we right-click on one of the embedded files in our sample Word file, one of the options is “Open PDF Object”. But you should be able to access the files. WordPad does not support all of Word’s features, so some content might be displayed improperly. Some of the embedded files might have partial filenames. You might notice that some of the embedded file icons do not display, but they’re still there. To access embedded files in a Word document when you don’t have access to Word, first open the Word file in WordPad (which comes built into Windows). How to Extract Embedded OLE Objects or Attached Files

How to save from visio on mac software#

Of course, if you’re going to freeload software to view this text, you might as well download LibreOffice, which can read Microsoft Office documents. All the text from the file is available in chunks of plain text regardless of the style and/or formatting applied in the document itself. You can open this file in a text editor, such as Notepad or WordPad, but it’s easier to read in a special XML editor, such as the free program, XML Notepad. If you don’t have Office installed on your PC, and you need to extract text out of a Word (or Excel or PowerPoint) file, you can access the extracted text in the “document.xml” file in the “word” folder. Inside the document, there may be resizing or other properties set, but the extracted files are the raw images without these properties applied. The extracted files are the original images used by the document. Click “Extract”.Īll the images from the original file are in the “media” folder.

How to save from visio on mac windows#

To open a File Explorer (or Windows Explorer) window with the folder containing the extracted files showing once they are extracted, select the “Show extracted files when complete” check box so there is a check mark in the box. zip file extracted, clicking “New folder” to create a new folder, if necessary. Navigate to where you want the content of the. To extract the files to a different folder, click “Browse”. By default, a folder with the same name as the name of the file (without the file extension) is created in the same folder as the. zip file will be extracted displays in the “Files will be extracted to this folder” edit box. On the “Select a Destination and Extract Files” dialog box, the path where the content of the. To extract the contents of the file, right-click on the file and select “Extract All” from the popup menu. Windows automatically recognizes the file as a zipped file. The following dialog box displays warning you about changing the file name extension. Leave the main part of the filename alone. Press “F2” to rename the file and change the extension (.docx. To access the inner contents of an XML based Office document, open File Explorer (or Windows Explorer in Windows 7), navigate to the file from which you want to extract the content, and select the file. How to Extract the Contents of a Newer Office File (.docx. We’ll detail that process at the end of this guide. ppt file–you can do so with a small piece of free software. If you need to extract files from an older office document–like a. zip support, or an app like 7-Zip if you prefer. zip file with Windows. From there, you can extract images, text, and other embedded files. And best of all, you don’t need any extra software. The Office XML based file formats–docx, xlsx, and pptx–are actually compressed archives that you can open like any normal. If you have a Word (.docx), Excel (.xlsx), or PowerPoint (.pptx) file with images or other files embedded, you can extract them (as well as the document’s text), without having to save each one separately. You can extract images from a Microsoft Office document with a simple trick. Say someone sent you a Word document with a lot of images, and you want you to save those images on your hard drive.

#How to save from visio on mac

0 notes

bananacareers · 2 years ago

Text

Alternatives to visio

#Alternatives to visio for free#

#Alternatives to visio for mac os x#

#Alternatives to visio download#

#Alternatives to visio mac#

This application easily renders documents with integrated Windows native drawing objects named Metafile images and even OLE objects.

#Alternatives to visio mac#

It displays text on Mac the same way as they were created for native operational systems like Windows operating system.įor the assistance of the users, there are various fonts, line and fill colors, tabulated text in frames and tables, different interspacing line-heights, shape lines width and type, backgrounds, fills, even subscripts, and superscripts are indistinctive to the way they look in original MS Visio. In addition to viewing MS Visio files, it delivers many other features and functions like navigating pages, operating with layers, exporting files to PDF, print files, and even showing objects shape data. VSD and all those document formats were created with MS 2000 and later on versions. This Visio viewer is capable enough to display MS Visio.

#Alternatives to visio for mac os x#

Nektony Mac Visio Viewer is a fully-featured application for Mac OS X operating systems to view MS Visio files. Once you are online, it becomes easy to collaborate with team members. Starting with this tool is very easy create an account first and then import the files so you can view these, make changes, and export as a Visio document or a simple image. Lucidchart Visio Viewer is one of the best programs to import documents from MS Visio. Its main highlighted features and functions are easy to start, improved productivity, real-time collaboration, and much more. Lucidchart Visio Viewer is fully compatible with almost all operating systems and web browsers and, just like the standard version of Lucidchart, widely supports. It is a great workaround solution for those working without Visio licenses. It presents a new level of freedom for anyone who accesses MS Visio files regularly.

#Alternatives to visio download#

All these viewers are completely free to download and use, and there is no restriction and limitation at all. It is available across four popular channels, including Firefox, Chrome, Confluence, and other web applications. Lucidchart Visio Viewer is an advanced level of VSD file viewer by the Lucidchart known for providing the graphical platform. The users can set drawing-layer visibility and colors in the layers tab and comment visibility and colors in the comment box. It also introduces a limited set of rendering and display settings that can also be accessed from the Display tab of the Properties dialog box. The users can then perform multiple functions in the shape of the pan and zoom in the drawing window by using toolbar buttons, keyboard shortcuts, or menu items in the shortcut menu. Once the file is opened, it will be rendered by the Vision Viewer in the browser window. Just open the video by double-clicking the file in Windows Explorer, and it will be opened. This tool will be opened in Internet Explorer with the limitation of printing only the drawing portion.

#Alternatives to visio for free#

vtx.vtx extension, for free to the team members and customers despite the fact they have not installed Vision on their systems. With the help of this tool, the users can even distribute the Vision drawings, including. Microsoft Visio Viewer is the product of Microsoft, especially for the developers and programmers to view Visio drawings inside the Internet Explorer web browser.

#Alternatives to visio

1 note · View note

nahasticket · 2 years ago

Text

Paint shop pro 9 upgrade

PAINT SHOP PRO 9 UPGRADE PRO

PAINT SHOP PRO 9 UPGRADE SOFTWARE

PAINT SHOP PRO 9 UPGRADE PROFESSIONAL

PAINT SHOP PRO 9 UPGRADE PSP

Opening an image from outside of the application (e.g.

All selected files obey the "Files of type" drop-list selection when using the File Open dialog box.

Irrelevant characters are discarded from plug-in category names to ensure proper sorting.

The application no longer stalls at start-up if resources (e.g., gradients) or their designated folders are unavailable.

The change eliminates the "Cannot open PhotoCD Image" message some users encountered when using the browser.

The program no longer calls all installed format filters when it cannot identify a file type.

This issue is fixed for Gamma Correction and other affected commands.

When using the Gamma Correction adjustment dialog, proofing an image before the right preview window updated could apply incorrect modifications and fail to revise the command history.

Added an "Apply Smoothing" option to the WMF/Import tab of the File Format Preferences dialog box to improve the quality and accuracy of some imported vector data.

PAINT SHOP PRO 9 UPGRADE PRO

It is no longer necessary to leave these versions installed to edit embedded Paint Shop Pro 5 and 6 objects.

Paint Shop Pro 7 now processes OLE embedded documents from Paint Shop Pro versions 5 and 6.

Preview windows are faster in several program dialog boxes.

Corel PaintShop Pro X8 is definitely s must-have image editor and lets you do anything you can imagine to do with your photos.アップデートするためのパッチが、 Paint Shop Pro - アップデータダウンロードで配布されています。

PAINT SHOP PRO 9 UPGRADE SOFTWARE

The software boasts powerful image editing capabilities at a low price (for premium features).Īpart from several effects filters, you get many other compelling options to make your experience with photo editing much more productive and entertaining than ever. With slightly sluggish tools, being not so beginners-friendly, PaintShop Pro is still one of the reliable free image editors. The free photo editing software offers a wide set of features and id money’s worth. PaintShop Pro stays up-to-date with latest cameras and image editing tools. > Edit workspace complex for novices The bottom line > Can process and manage RAW and JPEG images > Customizable filters in ON1 Perfect Effect 9.5 > Wide array of presets and tools for image editing > Fine-tune your image with advanced editing tools > Add special effects to photos, projects and text > Instantly fix common photo flaws such as sharpness, color and red eye removal > Import pictures automatically from camera Take your still photos to a broad new level with this best-ever, free photo editing software for Windows.

PAINT SHOP PRO 9 UPGRADE PROFESSIONAL

The photo editor is well known for its multiple functionality and qualities of a professional image editing software. You can freeload PaintShop Pro image editing software to get the best out of your photos. to create high-quality and precision-rich images. In-short, Paint Shop Pro can make every image look and feel its best before printing or posting photos online.įor advanced and seasoned professionals, Paint Shop Pro image editor gives you the confidence to use more advanced features such as Histogram, Curves, Level Adjustment, HDR Photo Merge, etc.

PAINT SHOP PRO 9 UPGRADE PSP

The image editing tool includes a package that provides you every tool you would require for creating stunning photos.īased on significantly imperative tools such as integrated Learning Center and one-click photo-fixing tools, PSP is one of the best image editing tools you can come across for fixing common image flaws such as sharpness, color and red eye removal.Īlso, there exist a number of other unique makeover tools that you can deploy to remove blemishes, paint on a tan, whiten teeth, etc. Paint Shop Pro (PSP) is a raster and vector graphics and imager editor for Windows.

#Paint shop pro 9 upgrade

0 notes

loadingiwant517 · 3 years ago

Text

File Server Stress Test Tool

File Server Stress Test Tool Harbor Freight

Server Stress Tester

Server Stress Test Software

Web Server Stress Test

DTM DB Stress is a software for stress testing and load testing the server parts of information systems and database applications, as well as databases and servers themselves. It is suitable for solution scalability and performance testing, comparison and tuning. The stress tool supports all unified database interfaces: ODBC, IDAPI, OLE DB and Oracle Call Interface. The dynamic SQL statement support and built-in test data generator enable you to make test jobs more flexible. Value File allows users to emulate variations in the end-user activity. I’m working with my customer to perform a file server (Win2k8 R2) stress test exercise and I found the FSCT is a great tool that can help to simulate users workload. However I can’t find an option to define the file size using the tool. Whether you have a desktop PC or a server, Microsoft’s free Diskspd utility will stress test and benchmark your hard drives. NOTE: A previous version of this guide explained using Microsoft’s old “SQLIO” utility. The program says that the information passed to the server is anonymous. If you select a different stress level, the program cannot upload the results even if they are visible in the pane to the left. Most of the tests were completed quite fast, except for the Files Encrypt test which took 67 seconds to complete.

By: John Sterrett | Updated: 2012-07-18 | Comments (15) | Related: More >Testing

Problem

I have a stored procedure and I need to add additional stress and test thestored procedureusing a random set of parameters before it can be pushed to production. I don'thave a budget for stress testing tools. Can you show me how to accomplish thesegoals without buying a third party tool?

Solution

Yes, theSQLQueryStresstool provided byAdam Machaniccan be used to apply additional stress when testing your stored procedures. Thistool can also be used to apply a dataset as random parameter values when testingyour stored procedures. You can also read more about SQLStressTest on the toolsdocumentation page to find more details about how you can use the tool.

For the purpose of this tip we are going to use the uspGetEmployeeManagers storedprocedure in theAdventureWorks2008R2 database. You can exchange this with your stored procedureto walk through this tip in your own environment.

Step 1

Our first step is to test the following stored procedure with a test parameter.This is done in Management Studio using the query shown below.

Now that we know we have a working stored procedure and a valid parameter thatreturns data we can get started with theSQLStressTool.Once you downloaded and installed SQLQueryStress, fire the tool up and pastein the code that you used in Management Studio. Next, we need to click on the databasebutton to configure our database connection.

Step 2 - Configure Database Connectivity

Now that we clicked on the database button we will want to connect to our AdventureWorksdatabase. In this example I am using a instance named 'r2' on my localhost. We willconnect with windows authentication and our default database will be AdventureWorks2008R2.Once this is done we will click on Test Connection and click on the 'OK' box inthe popup window. We'll see the Connection Succeeded message to verify that ourconnection settings are connect.

Step 3 - Clear Proc Cache

Before we execute our stored procedure using SQLQueryStress we are going to clearout the procedure cache so we can track the total executions of our stored procedure.This shouldn't be done on a production system as this can causesignificant performance problems. You would have to recompile all user objects toget them back into the procedure cache. We are doing this in this walkthrough tipto show you how we can count the total executions of the stored procedure.

File Server Stress Test Tool Harbor Freight

NOTE: In SQL Server 2008 and up you can actually clear a specificplan from the buffer pool. In this example we are clearing out all plan's incaseyour using SQL 2005. Once again, this shouldn't be done on a productionsystem . Pleasesee BOL for a specific example on clearing out a single plan.

Step 4 - Execute Stored Procedure Using SQLQueryStress

Now that we have established our connection and specified a default databasewe are going to execute our stored procedure specified in step one. You can executethe stored procedure once by making sure the number of interations and number ofthreads both have the value of 'one.' We will go over these options in more detailsa little later in the tip. Once those values are set correctly you can execute thestored procedure once by clicking on the 'GO' button on the top right side of theSQLQueryStress tool.

Once the stored procedure execution completes you will see that statistics aregenerated to help give you valuable feedback towards your workload. You can seethe iterations that completed. In this case we only executed the stored procedureonce. You can also see valuable information for actual seconds, CPU, Logical readsand elapsed time as shown in the screen shot below.

Step 5 - View Total Executions via T-SQL

Now we will execute the following T-SQL script below, which will give us theexecution count for our stored procedure. We just cleared the procedure cache soyou will get an execution count of one as shown in the screen shot below.

Step 6 - Using SQLQueryStress to Add Additional Stress with Multiple Threads.

Now that we have gone over the basics of executing a stored procedure with SQLQueryStresswe will go over adding additional stress by changing the values for Number of Threadsand Number of Iterations. The number of Iterations means the query will be executedthis amount of times for each thread that is specified. The numbers of threads specifyhow many concurrent threads (SPIDS) will be used to execute the number of iterations.

Being that we changed the number of iterations to five and the number of threadsto five we will expect the total number of iterations completed to be twenty-five.The iterations completed is twenty-five because we used five threads and had fiveiterations that were executed for each thread. Below is a screen shot of thethe workload completed after we clicked on the 'GO' button with valuable averagestatistics during the workload.

If we rerun our T-SQL script from step 5, you will see that there is a totalof twenty-six executions for the uspGetEmployeeManagers stored procedure. This includesour initial execution from step 4 and the additional stress applied in step 6.

Server Stress Tester

Step 7 - Use Random Values for Parameters with SQLQueryStress

Next, we are going to cover using a dataset to randomly provide parameters toour stored procedure. Currently we use a hard coded value of eight as the valuefor the BusinessEntityID parameter. Now, we are going to click on the 'ParameterSubstitution' button to use a T-SQL script to create a pool of values that willbe used during our stress testing of the uspGetEmployeeManagers stored procedure.

Once the parameter substitution window opens we will want to copy our T-SQL statementprovided below that will generate the BusinessEntityID values we would want to passinto our stored procedure.

Once you added the T-SQL script, you would want to select the column you wouldlike to map to the parameter used for your stored procedure.

Finally, the last part of this step is to drop the hard coded value assignmentfor the stored procedure. This way the parameter substitution will be used for theparameter value.

Step 8 - Wrap-up Results

To wrap up this tip, we have gone over controlling a workload to provide additionalstress and randomly substituting parameters to be used for your workload replay.If you capture aSQL traceand replay the workload you should see a similar output as the one provided in thescreen shot below. Looking at the screen shot below you will notice that each thread(SPID) has five iterations. Also, you will notice that the values for the businessentityidprovided are randomly selected from our block of code provided for the parametersubstitution.

Next Steps

If you need to do some load testing, start usingSQLQueryStresstool.

Review severaltips on SQL Profiler and trace

Revew tips on working withStored Procedures

Last Updated: 2012-07-18

About the author

John Sterrett is a DBA and Software Developer with expertise in data modeling, database design, administration and development. View all my tips

One of the questions that often pops up in our forums is “how do I run a stress test on my game”?

There are several ways in which this can be done. A simple way to stress test your server side Extension is to build a client application that acts as a player, essentially a “bot”, which can be replicated several hundreds or thousands of times to simulate a large amount of clients.

» Building the client

For this example we will build a simple Java client using the standard SFS2X Java API which can be downloaded from here. The same could be done using C# or AS3 etc…

The simple client will connect to the server, login as guest, join a specific Room and start sending messages. This basic example can serve as a simple template to build more complex interactions for your tests.

» Replicating the load

Before we proceed with the creation of the client logic let’s see how the “Replicator” will work. With this name we mean the top-level application that will take a generic client implementation and will generate many copies at a constant interval, until all “test bots” are ready.

The class will startup by loading an external config.properties file which looks like this:

Server Stress Test Software

The properties are:

the name of the class to be used as the client logic (clientClassName)

the total number of clients for the test (totalCCU)

the interval between each generated client, expressed in milliseconds (generationSpeed)

Once these parameters are loaded the test will start by generating all the requested clients via a thread-pool based scheduled executor (ScheduledThreadPoolExecutor)

In order for the test class to be “neutral” to the Replicator we have created a base class called BaseStressClient which defines a couple of methods:

The startUp() method is where the client code gets initialized and it must be overridden in the child class. The onShutDown(…) method is invoked by the client implementation to signal the Replicator that the client has disconnected, so that they can be disposed.

» Building the client logic

Web Server Stress Test

This is the code for the client itself:

The class extends the BaseStressClient parent and instantiates the SmartFox API. We then proceed by setting up the event listeners and connection parameters. Finally we invoke the sfs.connect(…) method to get started.

Notice that we also declared a static ScheduledExecutorService at the top of the declarations. This is going to be used as the main scheduler for sending public messages at specific intervals, in this case one message every two second.

We chose to make it static so that we can share the same instance across all client objects, this way only one thread will take care of all our messages. If you plan to run thousands of clients or use faster message rates you will probably need to increase the number of threads in the constructor.

» Performance notes

When replicating many hundreds / thousands of clients we should keep in mind that every new instance of the SmartFox class (the main API class) will use a certain amount of resources, namely RAM and Java threads.

For this simple example each instance should take ~1MB of heap memory which means we can expect 1000 clients to take approximately 1GB of RAM. In this case you will probably need to adjust the heap settings of the JVM by adding the usual -Xmx switch to the startup script.

Similarly the number of threads in the JVM will increase by 2 units for each new client generated, so for 1000 clients we will end up with 2000 threads, which is a pretty high number.

Any relatively modern machine (e.g 2-4 cores, 4GB RAM) should be able to run at least 1000 clients, although the complexity of the client logic and the rate of network messages may reduce this value.

On more powerful hardware, such as a dedicated server, you should be able to run several thousands of CCU without much effort.

Before we start running the test let’s make sure we have all the necessary monitoring tool to watch the basic performance parameters:

Open the server’s AdminTool and select the Dashboard module. This will allow you to check all vital parameters of the server runtime.

Launch your OS resource monitor so that you can keep an eye on CPU and RAM usage.

Here are some important suggestions to make sure that a stress test is executed successfully:

Monitor the CPU and RAM usage after all clients have been generated and make sure you never pass the 90% CPU mark or 90% RAM used. This is of the highest importance to avoid creating a bottleneck between client and server. (NOTE: 90% is meant of the whole CPU, not just a single core)

Always run a stress test in a ethernet cabled LAN (local network) where you have access to at least a 100Mbit low latency connection. Even better if you have a 1Gbps or 10Gbps connection.

To reinforce the previous point: never run a stress test over a Wifi connection or worse, a remote server. The bandwidth and latency of a Wifi are horribly slow and bad for these kind of tests. Remember the point of these stress tests is assessing the performance of the server and custom Extension, not the network.

Before running a test make sure the ping time between client and server is less or equal to 1-5 milliseconds. More than that may suggest an inadequate network infrastructure.

Whenever possible make sure not to deliver the full list of Rooms to each client. This can be a major RAM eater if the test involves hundreds or thousands of Rooms. To do so simply remove all group references to the “Default groups” setting in your test Zone.

» Adding more client machines

What happens when the dreaded 90% of the machine resources are all used up but we need more CCU for our performance test?

It’s probably time to add another dedicated machine to run more clients. If you don’t have access to more hardware you may consider running the whole stress test in the cloud, so that you can choose the size and number of “stress clients” to employ.

The cloud is also convenient as it lets you clone one machine setup onto multiple servers, allowing a quick way for deploying more instances.

In order to choose the proper cloud provider for your tests make sure that they don’t charge you for internal bandwidth costs (i.e. data transfer between private IPs) and have a fast ping time between servers.

We have successfully run many performance tests using Jelastic and Rackspace Cloud. The former is economical and convenient for medium-size tests, while the latter is great for very large scale tests and also provides physical dedicated servers on demand.

Amazon EC2 should also work fine for these purposes and there are probably many other valid options as well. You can do a quick google research, if you want more options.

» Advanced testing

1) Login: in our simple example we have used an anonymous login request and we don’t employ a server side Extension to check the user credentials. Chances are that your system will probably use a database for login and you wish to test how the DB performs with a high traffic.

A simple solution is to pre-populate the user’s database with index-based names such as User-1, User-2 … User-N. This way you can build a simple client side logic that will generate these names with an auto-increment counter and perform the login. https://loadingiwant517.tumblr.com/post/661702399021481984/how-to-play-marvels-spider-man-on-pc. Passwords can be handled similarly using the same formula, e.g. Password-1, Password-2… Password-N

TIP: When testing a system with an integrated database always monitor the Queue status under the AdminTool > Dashboard. Slowness with DB transactions will show up in those queues.

2) Joining Rooms: another problem is how to distribute clients to multiple Rooms. Suppose we have a game for 4 players and we want to distribute a 1000 clients into Rooms for 4 users. A simple solution is to create this logic on the server side.

The Extension will take a generic “join” request and perform a bit of custom logic:

search for a game Room with free slots:

if found it will join the user there

otherwise it will create a new game Room and join the user

A similar logic has been discussed in details in this post in our support forum.

» Source files

The sources of the code discussed in this article are available for download as a zipped project for Eclipse. If you are using a different IDE you can unzip the archive and extract the source folder (src/), the dependencies (sfs2x-api/) and build a new project in your editor.

0 notes