#Seo Changbing x Reader

[tinyarsonist]

Love, Love

"For you? In a heartbeat."

Summary: You live your past and future when a one-night stand with Changbin turns into an unplanned pregnancy.

TW: NonIdol!Changbin, Fem!Reader, strangers x lovers, pregnancy, mentions of alcohol, implied pregnancy sex, blow job, cunnilingus, pet names (bunny, bin, mommy, daddy)(but not in the way you think I swear), let me know if I missed anything!

MDNI 18+ ONLY

Past in italics. Future in bold. Rest in present.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.

You scream as you feel another rip of pain flash through you. The doctors and nurses crowded around you, encouraging you to keep going. That it’ll all be worth it. Everything you ever dreamed of, waiting to be wrapped up in a blanket and handed off to be cradled in your arms. But that’s the thing--this isn’t what you dreamed of.

Changbin was supposed to be the one by your side. Holding your hand, and trying to keep up a strong appearance for your sake while freaking out all the same on the inside. He was supposed to be your rock.

But he wasn’t here.

You grip the hospital bed bar and yell out again in pain. You somehow knew that you were still nowhere near where you were supposed to be.

Physically. Mentally. Spiritually. Whatever you wanted to call it. 

You weren’t ready.

“I don’t know how I’m going to do this,” You whispered. Changbin sat close to you on the bed. Both of you were looking at that little blue stick that would forever change your lives. It was supposed to be just for one night. One night where the two of you forgot about the rest of the world. Heavy drinking, flirting with strangers at a club. No stress about work, family, or friends. The only thing that mattered was what happened on the same sheets you were sitting on. That was the plan, and the two of you conveniently found one another to forget about life with.

The night was one of the best nights you’ve ever had. Since the two of you had the notion of never seeing each other ever again; there was no reservation when you led him out of the bar and into your apartment. As soon as the door closed, Changbin pushed you against the wall and stripped you of your clothes all in one go. As he was preoccupied with you, you unbuckled his belt and freed his erection from its restraint. Essentially, being pushed on your knees, your lips instantly wrapped around him as he held your head in place and thrusted.

As he laid your head against the wall, he wasted no time in using you to chase his own pleasure. You relaxed your throat as much as you could, tears welling in your eyes from the slight sting but relishing in every movement. Changbin loved the way your makeup ran down your face. Nothing but moans and the sloppy sounds of your mouth echoing around the room. “That’s it. All the way, bunny.”

The rest of the night was history.

When you started feeling off a couple of weeks after, you decided to take a test, just to be on the safe side. Nothing could’ve prepared you for the result on the tiny pregnancy test window.

“How are ‘you going to do this’?” Changbin took his eyes off the test to stare at your profile. It wasn’t exactly the way he imagined his life to take. To be honest it scared him when he got your call, saying you needed to speak with him about something urgently, after not contacting him again after that night. “What do you mean?”

“Well… I’m keeping it…” You look up and turn to meet his gaze. “You don’t have to be around for it--I know that’s asking a lot. A-and I don't expect money or anything, but I did want you to know. It felt like you needed to know and--”

You stopped your rambling as his hand lightly covered yours as you held onto the test. “You're not doing this alone,” he grumbled despite his gentle caress. “I want to make this clear--it's our baby. I'm with you every step of the way.”

Your shoulder relaxed in relief as the two of you shared this moment together. The grip of the test in your hand slightly tightening. 

You howled as another contraction rips through you, your hands finding the sidebars of the hospital bed and clutching on so tightly your knuckles turned white. A nurse dabbed a wet cloth on your face as your body fell back into bed, trying to regain some form of strength for the next round.

“I can't do this. I can't do this,” you sobbed to yourself as the nurse kept trying to calm you down.

“You're almost there,” she cooed. “Your husband will--”

“He's not---agghhh!” You lurch forward as another wave rips through you. Your hair was plastered across your face from the sweat of being in labor for half the day. “He's not my husband!”

By your second trimester, you and Changbin were essentially conjoined at the hip. He meant about being there every step of the way. 

Changbin gave you no room to argue when he mentioned he was moving into your apartment and out of his shared apartment with Chan and Jisung. “How else am I supposed to help you?”

Every middle of the night craving for olives with strawberry ice cream, Changbin got up from your shared bed with no complaints to run to the nearest convenience store. Which was so often enough, that the store owner always hid the items for you whenever they were running low.

“Remind me to send Mr. Kim a fruit basket,” you said with a mouthful of olives as your spoon held a glob of strawberry ice cream. Changbin sat next to you on the couch as the late-night show glow filled the dark living room. He laid his head on your shoulder and snuggled against you. His eyes rested from the lack of sleep, but still forced himself to stay up in case you needed anything else.

“Don't. That kid of his, Seungmin, will probably eat it all before he could even find it.” Changbin grumbled. Chuckling, you placed your cheek on the top of his head as you took a bite of your snack.

Changbin smiled warmly as he felt you move closer to him. He pried open his eyes and placed a hand on your growing belly, remembering when you would fight him at first whenever he would do so. But now? Now, it felt weird to not have him holding you in some form.

“Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl?” 

“If you want to know the sex, we can always ask the doctor.” You chuckle as Changbin shook his head and sits up a bit so he could look at you. His hand never moving from its rightful place on your belly. 

“Absolutely not! Then it won't be a surprise!”

“I think having this baby is enough of a surprise as is.”

The two of you laugh at your comment and Changbin can't help but bring you closer. You rested your cheek against his chest as his other arm wrapped around your shoulders. Changbin giggled as you still somehow managed to take another bite of your ice cream while still in his snug hold. The TV continued playing on. Soon a skit of an unplanned pregnancy played, all characters frantically running around trying to organize a shot-gun wedding.

“Do…do you think we should get married?”

Changbin stiffened at your question. But not for the reason you thought. He toyed around with the idea for some time. Tension between his family was a bit rough ever since he told them the news, especially between his father and him. Not only that--he couldn’t help but feel this tug to you now that the two of you agreed to be in this partnership together. Everything felt right. Like he belonged. It would’ve been easier to propose; to him, his family, and the child you two were bringing into this world.

But would it be for you?

“I don’t want you marrying me, because you have to.”

Your head shot up. Did that mean he’s thought about it? Did that mean this relationship was more than platonic just for the baby’s sake? Your heart pounded at the closeness of you two. “But you would…you would marry me if I wanted to?”

Changbin lowered his head a bit so his lips could hover just above yours. 

“Only if you wanted to.”

Fear set in Changbin’s heart as he ran through the airport. He got your multiple voicemails. Each becoming more and more panicked than the last, as soon as his plane touched down. The baby wasn’t due for another week. He thought he had more time.

Changbin was cursing himself under his breath as he pushed past the crowd. Scolding himself for taking on that account when he should’ve been with you. “It’ll be fine she said,” Changbin flagged down a cab. “You’ll have time, she said.”

He knew it was unfair to blame you. You couldn’t control the weather, let alone when you went into labor.

When the cab came to a standstill due to bump-to-bumper traffic, Changbin wasted no time rushing out of the vehicle and booking it towards the hospital. Dodging any incoming cars that were trying to beat the traffic. He was sweating by the time he reached the front desk, desperately asking what room you were in. “Room 325,” the station nurse said. Watching as he frantically ran towards the direction she pointed in.

Finally reaching your door, Changbin’s hand hesitated before pulling down on the handle.

This was it. The past 8 months were drawing to a close. Where did that leave the two of you? Would you want him out of the apartment by the time the baby’s sleeping schedule was set? Did all the late-night talks and surprise breakfast-in-bed mornings come to an end?

Changbin didn’t have time to let his thoughts spiral out of control as the nurse inside the room opened the door for him. “Oh,” she jumped a bit at his presence. “Are you the husband?”

“I’m not…” Changbin stopped himself and just nodded. The nurse gave him a smile before opening the door to let him through. Offering her congratulations before leaving the three of you alone.

You sat on the hospital bed, swaddling this new love you brought into the world close to your chest. Your back slightly turned away from Changbin as he took small steps toward you, his face dropping a bit.

“I missed it?”

You turn your head slightly and smile at him. “You’re here.”

“Of course,” Changbin sat next to you on the bed. His arm wrapped around you and pulled you to lean back into his chest. His head pressed against yours as he closed his eyes. Just having you in his arms was enough to chase the fears away. “Pretty sure I caused a car crash on the way over, but I didn’t want to miss it.”

“You’re here now, that’s all that matters.” You shifted a bit to reveal the tiny figure in your arms. Changbin’s eyes widen as he stares down at your shared creation. They instantly softened as love filled his entire body. “Would you like to meet your daughter?”

Having the little one in his arms for the first time was nerve-racking. Once his gaze locked on the sleeping babe, his confidence filled a bit. He felt your head rest on his shoulder as the two of you stared in awe. “We made this,” his voice was but a whisper. At this moment Changbin knew what he wanted. He didn’t want this to end. The three of you were meant to live out your lives together, and he didn’t want to let go of that. “I--”

You already knew where this was going. You felt it too. Everything was set perfectly, despite the both of your run-down expressions. But you wouldn’t have it any other way. You cut him off with a gentle kiss. When the two of you parted the words flowed out of your mouth without any thought. 

“Marry me?”

Changbin’s forehead pressed against yours; “In a heartbeat.” 

“I’m serious, Bin!” You laugh as the two of you attempted to put together a nursery room in your spare bedroom. Changbin was getting frustrated trying to put the cradle together. How in the hell was this long stick supposed to fit in this pocket?! “You’re reading the direction wrong! Here let me help.”

“Ah, ah!” Changbin playfully slapped your hand away. “Let Daddy take care of it.”

You knew he didn’t mean it in that way, but you couldn’t help but feel the heat spread throughout your body. “You can’t say things like that…”

Nothing could happen. You were about ready to pop. Feet swelling up so much, Changbin had to give them a massage every day after work just so you were able to walk. Despite all of that, Changbin put down the piece he was holding and gave you a knowing look. “Oh?” He grinned. “Why is that, bunny?”

He leaned in close enough to guide you to lie down gently on the floor. Soft kisses were placed on your neck and collarbone. Careful to not put any pressure on your belly. You sighed happily at the attention. Guess it’s true what they say about the raging hormones. “You’d really have sex with a pregnant lady?”

“With you? In a heartbeat.”

“Told you we’d have a girl,” Changbin smiled as he held your daughter in his arms. Taking in everything he could to forever grave this memory in his head. As if it would be that easy to forget this day; the birth of his daughter and engagement to you.

“Guess I lost that bet,” you laugh. Your fingers gently caress her cheek. “Look, she has your dimple!”

Your daughter cooed in her sleep, showing off that famous indent on her cheek. Already showing off the Seo smile. Changbin grinned; “What should we name her?”

“We gotta hurry,” Changbin said breathlessly as he stripped off his shirt and crawled on the bed towards you. You laid on your satin sheets, already naked and ready for the taking. “My girl is already questioning where I ran off to. She’ll get suspicious soon.”

“You know,” you moan as his lips latch onto your nipple. “We wouldn’t have to keep up this charade if you just--”

You couldn’t finish your thought as his hand slotted itself between your legs. Wasting no time in playing with your folds, as he usually does, and inserts two fingers to stretch you out. His pace was almost relentless, his hand covering your mouth as your moans started to get louder and louder. “Hush, bunny.”

The four years since the birth of your daughter have only spurred on your sex life with Changbin. Even though you knew he had another woman close to his heart. But you had to admit, there was something exciting about sneaking away for a quickie.

Changbin released his hold on your mouth and lowered himself down to your pussy. “Always so pretty,” he breathed against you. His lips instantly found your clit and kissed you in every way that you liked. That was the bright side to your getaways; he never wasted time on getting the job done.

“Bin, I’m--” 

Before you could finish, your sentence and your orgasm. A loud knock banged on your bedroom door. Hearing the voice muffled behind the door made you both groan. “Your other woman is requesting your presence,” you teased.

“Yea, yea.” Changbin pulled his fingers out of you and kissed you deeply before getting up to wash his hands quickly. You pulled the sheets over your naked body as he opened the door, revealing your adorable daughter holding a stuffed pink bunny. A pink bow dawned on her head as she looked up at Changbin. “Daddy, I wanna play dress up!”

“You wanna play dress up?” Changbin grinned as he picked her up and gave a peck on her cheek. “Okay, okay. Let’s go play. Say night to Mommy.”

You blow a kiss at your daughter as Changbin looks at you. The softness when looking at your daughter was replaced with a much darker expression as his eyes laid back on you. “You don’t do anything without me. Daddy will be back to play with you later.”

The question of naming your daughter hung in the room. Despite the many months of having time to plan, that seemed to be the only thing the two of you didn’t think about. The pink decorations hanging in the hospital hallway caught your attention before bringing it back to your new bundle of joy.

“Aera,” you smile. Changbin kissed Aera on her tiny head before placing one on your cheek. It was sweet seeing you get into the holiday spirit.

“Aera it is. Happy Valentine, bunny.”

“Happy Valentine, Bin.”

Note: This was made on the spot, so sorry if it isn't great 😭 I really wanted to post something for Valentine Day though and Changbin was the first one to come to mind. Guess I got bit by the love bug today 🩷

Aera is a Korean name that can roughly be translated/meaning to "Love"

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[leezanetheofficial]

oooooo i'm very interested!!! can't wait to read more!

Lovesick: Chan x Male!Reader Pt. 1

Pairing: Bang Chan x Male!Reader | Side pairings: Minho x Chan, Minho x Male!Reader (unrequited)

Word Count: 11k

Genre: Horror, Angst, Smut | AU: Yandere!au, Videogame!AU, Highschool!AU

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Summary: After being sucked into the dating simulator "Lovesick", Park YN has to defeat five rivals to reach his goal. However, he soon learns his rivals aren't the only thing he must contend with for Chan's love.

Tags: Graphic depictions of violence, Main Character Death, dark fic, dead dove: do not eat, yandere behaviors, yandere!reader, stalking, murder/violence, blood and violence, toxic relationships, mentions of murder, unrequited love, mentions of domestic violence, school massacre/genocide, implied teacher/student relationship, homophobic parents, mentions of bullying/trauma, obsession, possessiveness, manipulation, high school setting, anal sex, anal fingering, edging, eventual smut, pool sex, locker room sex, blowjobs, choking.

A/N: PLEASE READ TAGS BEFORE READING! I'm not responsible for any feelings you end up having because you ignored this warning and the ones above.

****

Tutorial Level: 

“Play as Kim Sunghoon, a sophomore at Whimoon High School. He currently has a crush on popular boy, Bahng Chan, and he’s not the only one. Sunghoon is in love, and he will do anything to be with the boy of his dreams. Beat all five rivals to win his beloved’s affections, and maybe you’ll survive.” 

‘Lovesick: Dating Simulator’, was written in bubble letters on the front cover. You’d found it at the bottom of the bargain bin by chance. After spending weeks in the office writing out code and testing out Nightmare Carnival 2, you thought you deserved a bit of a break. Your collection at home felt a bit stale, so you’d gone to the local game shop to look for something new. The bargain bin usually carried copies of short, simple independently made games. You liked giving the smaller companies a try, especially since you worked at the mega developer, Vision Entertainment. It reminded you of your own humble beginnings playing games people put their heart and soul into. You dug through the top to the very bottom where you pulled out a thin case. Against the pink backdrop with white hearts stood the typical anime school boy. Black bangs over his wide blue eyes, he wore a cheerful, playful smile from underneath the game’s title. 

Reading the summary a second time, you realized it sounded quite odd. ‘Maybe you’ll survive’? What did that mean? It certainly sounded strange, but perhaps the developer wanted it that way. It looked interesting; certainly had potential to be more entertaining than regular dating simulators and the LGBT factor intrigued you as well. When you tilted the cover slightly, the backdrop changed from pink to red with bleeding black hearts. Dark blood splattered the boy’s uniform and the knife he held behind his back. Yes, this game felt right up your alley. You typically finished games like this in a day or two, so you picked up a few more games from the bin before making your way to the counter. 

An apartment located in the center of Seoul, wide windows gave a view of the crowded streets below. Honking cars and busy city sounds came up to your windows, and you drowned the sounds with your stereo. The upbeat, four-chord intro to your favorite band’s newest single flowed through the apartment as you settled in for the night. After a long day in the office, you looked forward to a night of mind-numbing gaming. Putting a microwave dinner to cook, you scrolled through your phone to see a voicemail notification. You sighed deeply, already knowing who’d called. 

‘Eomma,’ labeled the two-minute long voicemail she’d left. You felt compelled to give it a listen while you waited. 

“YNie, I know you’re a busy boy these days with your video games and all that, but you can at least give your mother a call once in a while, you know. I did raise you after all,” she sounded irritated, “Remember when I told you your cousin Kyungmi got knocked up by that boy who works at her mother’s cafe? Well, apparently she’s keeping it and having a baby shower this weekend. Your aunt and I would like it if you came. You can bring that little friend of yours, what’s his name? Kibum? Kimoon? Well, whatever his name is, it’s this Saturday at one o’clock. I know this adorable baby-shop around the street from me you can get a gift from. Just letting you know. Talk to you soon, darling. Lots of love.” 

‘Little friend’. Your mother could never stomach your sexuality. Out of both your parents, she certainly took it better than your father, but she still avoids talking about it. You scoffed at hearing her get your ex-boyfriend’s name wrong for the millionth time. Not that it mattered. You and Dobin broke up months ago. It was over and done with, and you moved on from him. 

Getting your meal out of the microwave, you went over to the couch and ate dinner quietly, watching reruns of a sci-fi show you loved. You haven't talked to your parents much since moving to Seoul five years ago. You found it hard to rebuild bridges when the other half failed to meet in the middle. Your father disowned you almost immediately, often pretending he has no son whenever friends asked about you. Your mother took it well, though she preferred you kept it “behind the closet door” in front of family friends. She acted as if you’d arrive at family events decked out in drag and singing show tunes while waving a gay pride flag. 

Hm, perhaps you should. It’d be worth it to see the horror on their faces.

You’d been settling in for a long gaming session when your phone rang. Looking at the screen, you groaned at your boss’s name. Even after office hours the woman had the nerve to pester you. Answering the call, you put it to your ear and spoke:

“Hello Irene-noonanim,” you said, trying your best not to snap.

“YN-yah," she said curtly, "You didn’t submit your testing results yesterday." She continued in her usual stern tone, “I told you I needed them to show to the directors at the meeting.”

You sighed, sticking your tongue in your cheek. She could have told you this tomorrow.  You mustered up all the kindness you could put into your voice and said, “Oh yeah, um, sorry about that, Noona. I must’ve forgotten to press submit when I was typing it out. It’s still on my computer in the office; I'll go back into the system and print it out.” 

This was a flat out lie. You hadn’t written down the test results because there wasn’t much of a need. Nightmare Carnival 2 still acted as glitchy as the day they began its framework. You recalled spending hours reworking all the coding and modeling for the game because the characters kept lagging. You wanted to remind her that you’d been the original creator and developer. Vision Entertainment wouldn’t have a good horror game if they hadn’t bought the rights and hired you to work alongside them. However, you refrained. The last thing you needed was working yourself up before you played a game. Still, you supposed you should’ve sent her something, even if half-assed. 

“I need you to do that ASAP,” she said, “It’s important we collect information from all the designers and testers before sending our updates. We’re on a deadline, you know.”

“Well, that’s what you get when you start promoting and teasing a new game before it’s even halfway done,” you spat back at her.

“Nightmare Carnival was a huge success, YN. A sequel needs to come out before it loses buzz.” She then added in a gentler voice, “You’re one of our best designers and testers. You know this game better than anyone on the team, and your work always comes out incredible.” 

Flattery. That was how Irene won over the people she'd annoyed or upset. Unlike your other male coworkers, you didn’t fall for her charms. You sensed the falseness behind the words right away. Irene used generic phrases like “you’re the best one on the team” and “you do such good work”. You hated it. You knew in the end she didn’t care about video gaming: she was a corporate lapdog sent to make sure they met deadlines. You wanted to strangle her most days. 

“Thanks, Noonanim,” you replied, pulling back your annoyance into a pleased tone, “That means a lot coming from you. I’ll send you the report, and you can send it to the guys upstairs.” 

Irene sounded pleased by your response and you hung up. You had no intention of doing anything else today. If she calls again, you’ll come up with an excuse to satiate her. Maybe bring up a family emergency or something. You didn’t want to deal with her. Sitting in front of your computer, you leaned into your seat with your after-dinner chips and a canned drink beside you. You knew you should keep working, since the game’s coding was something to be desired, but you could do it later. You needed a break. 

You installed ‘Lovesick’ and in a few minutes, you were met with the bright pink and white menu screen. A photo of the basic white and beige high school building, with the main character standing in front of it came on the screen. Your excitement elevated as you fixed the gameplay keyboard to your liking. You looked forward to seeing the game in action. The internet being full of spoilers, you kept yourself from doing any research beforehand. When you finished setting up, you clicked ‘New Game’ and the intro cutscene started. 

“All my life I’ve felt incomplete,” a young male’s voice said over a black screen, “I could never feel anything. No joy. No warmth. No light. My heart was a black, swirling abyss of nothingness.” 

The main character, Sunghoon, came onto screen, yet he looked different from the cover. A portly boy with thick rimmed glasses, acne scars on his cheeks, and stringy blonde hair parted in the middle walked through a long hallway. You couldn’t help feeling for him. You’d once been fat and pimpled, which made you a regular target for bullies. However, after a university ‘glow-up’, you lost the baby fat and your skin cleared up. But, you’re sure developers did this so his social avoidance and solitude made sense. Sunghoon had the typical 3D anime game style with sharp lines and big eyes that filled up the glasses. The graphics looked pretty clear for an indie game, so you weren’t too bothered. You’d seen worse. You watched the screen and felt the words resonate inside you. You’d been the same way once. You’d been the withdrawn boy who had few friends, but many bullies. You watched the character continue on through the empty hall, recalling your own school days.

 “I spent my days suffering in the darkness. Every night, I dreamed that one day my true love would come and take me away from this sadness. I dreamed they’d make me a whole person, filling the emptiness inside me.” 

The camera showed Sunghoon standing in circles with other characters, smiling and laughing with them. Except, you noticed his smile didn’t reach his empty eyes. You wondered if you looked like that with your friends. You always found yourself pushing to feel for others. It didn’t come naturally to you like it did to other people. The endless cycle of adult life and failed relationships turned you into a hollow shell incapable of strong emotions anymore. Your laughs sounded weak at times. You blanked in the face of a crying friend in need of consoling. You found yourself not truly caring.

“I thought I’d be forced to wander this earth alone forever, aimless and friendless.” The black faded into white with pink flower petals floating across the screen, “Then I met…Him.” 

It then showed the school’s courtyard where a large fountain stood in the garden area. On the edge of the fountain sat another boy in the green and white uniform, quietly reading to himself with a book bag at his feet. The bright pink glow around him made him stand out in the sea of gray blurs; his brown hair hung to his brow, and downturned eyes focused on the book in his lap. From the soft smile, you saw dimples poking slightly into the boy’s cheeks. He reminded you of every other hot anime boy you’d seen.

“Bahng Chan…”  Sunghoon said in a dreamy sigh. “He is my whole world. Ever since I saw him, a fire stayed blazing inside me. He has brought color and sunlight into my bleak existence. He fills my heart and completes me! I only feel human when I am looking at him. I love him.”

Although, you found it a bit odd that Chan’s looks appeared better enhanced than other characters. His features appeared rounder and detailed, somehow setting him apart from the introduction’s cutscene characters. You yawned as the cinematic continued. You must be more tired than you’d realized, but you hadn’t started playing yet. You decided you’d go to bed after getting a feel for the game.

“I knew I needed him in my life. I needed him like a fish needs water…but someone else wants my beloved.” The video shifted to show Sunghoon watching Chan talking to another boy. The romantic melody shifted slowly into deep, foreboding notes. “He wants him, but not in the way that I want him.” Sunghoon’s high voice became low and firm, a certain growl behind it. “He’ll never appreciate him like I do; he will never love him the way I do. He doesn’t deserve him. Chan belongs to me, and only me. He will be mine.” 

Your eyes felt suddenly heavy. Shaking your head and blinking a few times, the grogginess only grew stronger. The long office hours must finally be catching up to you. Your eyes stayed on the screen that played the melodic music, pink petals gently floating across it as it went onwards. It was a mesmerizing, hypnotizing sight. You wondered how long it took the developers to make the cut scenes. They were pretty good. With the right backing, they can be better. You rested in your chair and took a small sip of soda. Maybe the caffeine will keep you up long enough.

“I cannot let him have Chan. I need to stop him by any means necessary…”

Your eyes started fluttering closed. You slunk back into your computer chair, your head on the head rest…

“Even if it means hurting him…”

The groggy feeling started turning into sleepiness…The pink and white slowly transitioned into black again or maybe that was your eyes finally closing… 

“Even if it means killing him.” 

****

When you woke up, it took you a few minutes to realize you weren’t in your bedroom. You weren’t even in your apartment anymore. You blinked your eyes to better take in the scene: the dark blue walls changed to a light cream color with video game and superhero posters plastered across them. You sat in a full bed with white and beige sheets rather than your larger, dark-colored one. Not a single recognizable thing in the room remained. Somehow, you’d gotten from your computer desk back home to a stranger’s bedroom. You sat up from the bed and saw you weren’t wearing your own clothes either. Rather than wearing your long black shirt and pajama bottoms, you wore a plain white shirt and blue boxer shorts.

Had you been drugged? You thought back to the soda you’d drunk, but that’s foolish. You tried pinching your thigh in hopes you’d suddenly wake up, but when you opened your eyes, you hadn’t left the bedroom. This could not be happening. A streak of panic went through you as you kept looking around. How did you get here? Where was ‘here’? You saw a door on the other side of the room, and walked over to it. Yet, when you tried the door knob, it didn’t budge. It did not even jiggle. You shook the knob and it did not move at all. Someone locked him in here. You resorted to slamming your hands on the door.

“Hello?! Hello, is anyone out there?! Can you hear me?! I’m locked in!” 

No answer. Not a single sound. You screamed in frustration, hitting the door over and over until your hands burned. This must be a dream, a hallucination. You kept knocking and pounding the door before finally giving up. Panic hit you square in the chest, tightening into a ball right in the center. You took steady breaths, running your fingers over the smooth wood to ground yourself again. The door felt so real. You felt the polish wood sliding against your fingertips as if it were your own. How could this be happening?

You searched for a computer or phone to call for help next. There must be a way out of the room, like an escape room. Yet, it appeared your kidnappers thought ahead. They’d left only a television, bookshelf, dresser and a desk. You pressed the TV button in hopes of some form of life, but nothing happened. Out of frustration, you abused the button until you nicked your fingernail on the edge. Sucking on it for relief, you found nothing amongst the manga collection in the shelves, the desk or dresser drawers. Why have these things here if they are useless? You immediately imagined some psychotic killer about to live out his depraved fantasies with you. Yes, if this is not a dream, then it’s a nightmare. You rested against the blacked out television, trying your best to stay in reality. You huffed a laugh at this. Reality? Sure.

“What the…”

A sudden two-tone ring startled you. You searched for the source before it went off again. On the bedside table sat a pink cell phone. You swore it had not been there a few minutes ago. You walked over, but you did not pick it up. ‘Monday, 6:00am’ read across the game’s typical background in a thin font. A notification popped up underneath. Perhaps they’ll tell you what the hell was going on. You slide the screen up to read the message. At the top, you read the name ‘Bott’ with an avatar of an anime school girl and the message they sent.

“Stop freaking out and get ready for school! Class starts at 7am!” the message read. 

“School? Class?” you panted, leaning against the bookshelf. “What the…”

“I’ll explain when you get there!” Another message popped up as if they’d read your mind. “Get moving!” 

You put the phone down. No, this is all a dream. You’ll wake up in your apartment any moment now and things will be fine. Squeezing your eyes shut, you took slow, steady breaths as you felt the edge of the shelf behind you. You took in the smoothness of the wood again. Real wood. It can’t be, though. This is a dream. When you opened your eyes, the room was still there. Wake up. Wake up. WAKE. UP. 

But, you didn’t. 

Opening the closet door as prompted, you found only two outfits. One was a school uniform, dark green with a white long sleeved shirt, khaki slacks and a green tie. A private school uniform, expensive and tailored to your body. The other was a simple black hoodie with jeans and sneakers, which you guess was the “casual” outfit. All you had to do was touch the uniform and with a soft click, you changed from pajamas to the sleek uniform. 

“How the hell?” You turned to the mirror and saw yourself in the uniform.

You jumped. The person in the mirror did not look like you at all. Back home, you kept your hair clean and neat. Here, you sported a bowl cut with a middle part, the greasy bangs hanging over your thick glasses. The body you worked hard to maintain turned pudgy and round in places and red blotches of acne scattered across your cheeks, nose, and forehead. The tightness in your chest swelled up to your throat, and you gulped it back down. You tried taking deep breaths through it, making yourself focus on the things you can feel and smell.

‘Hurry up! There’s not much time and a lot of stuff to do!’ Bott’s message came through.

Going along with it seemed to be the only solution. After a few more deep breaths, you shoved some books into the backpack and slung it over your shoulder. The phone buzzed on the table once again, and you snatched it up. In most modern games, the cellphone was a handy tool for getting information. If this is his dream, it’ll work the same.

“Welcome to Lovesick!” You read in the chat, “I’m Bott, and I’ll be your guide through your time at Whimoon High School.”

“What’s going on?” you asked.

“Hush up and listen!” Bott wrote back as if they'd heard him. Disembodied voices were common in dreams. That was all. “Head on over to the school so we can catch up on what’s going on.”

“What’s going on is I'm in a dream and none of this is real.”

“If it’s only a weird ass dream, then you have nothing to worry about. Open the door and go to school. We have lots to do before the day is over.”

You thought as you turned the door knock, that all dreams end eventually. You could be minutes from waking up and not knowing it. The door finally opened this time, and found a swirling pink portal instead of a hallway. You hesitated in front of it, and decided for certain you’re in a dream.

Portals only exist in dreams.

*****

Whimoon High School was a wide campus standing four stories tall with lush greenery all around. You stared up at it from the front gate, taking in the wide windows looking back at you. It reminded you of every basic high school design with its cream colored walls and white borders. As you made your way up the stone pathway to the doors, more students in white and green uniforms spawned at the gate. You watched them walk by in a large herd. Most of them had black or brown hair, but others wore it in different colors like aquamarine or cherry red. You also noted that the girls wore very short skirts and tight shirts under their blazers. 

Dream stuff. All dream stuff. 

“Oh good, you made it!” another Bott message came through in a loud pinging sound. “Now, you’re probably wondering how you get out of here.”

“Yeah, I wake up, obviously.”

“No, dumbass. This isn’t a dream. Get that out of your head.”

“It’s giving off dream vibes to me, so yeah, it is.” 

“Fine. In order to leave the ‘dream’ you need to beat the game. You did read the back of the cover when you got it, right?”

“Yeah. It said something about having to beat five rivals or whatever. Probably entered my subconscious or whatever.” 

“Unfortunately for you, your beloved is too popular for his own good,” they began. “A lot of people like him. He’s intelligent, strong, handsome, kind-hearted, and gentle. He’s on the swimming team, the debate and the math team. He’s president of the gardening club, and ranked top of the class last year. What’s not to like?” 

“So, your basic golden child. How charming. I thought my brain might make someone edgier for me.” 

“Your beloved is perfect the way he is.”

“Sure.” 

“Every week you’re going to have a new rival to face. You have to get to them before they confess their love to Chan on Friday under the school’s maple tree at five o’clock.”

“And let me guess: I have to kill them?” 

“Not always. You can’t kill too many of them because Chan will lose sanity and might end up killing himself.” 

They stated this as if it mattered. You supposed it did, but you couldn’t care less. Chan was only a video game character in a dream world, after all. You entered the school, where rows of green lockers lined the hallways. Many colored posters advertising different school events and clubs went along the main corridors; a trophy case showed off the school’s academic and athletic achievements. More people moved throughout the hallways, bypassing you as if you were invisible. How has nobody noticed you yet? You walked right up to a group of girls, waving your hand in front of their faces and receiving no reaction at all. It was strange. 

“You can do other things besides killing them,” Bott continued on the phone, “Even if it’s the most effective choice. You can sabotage their relationship with him; you can ruin their reputation or their popularity so people bully them and they leave the school. Anything, YN. You can’t let them have Chan. They don’t deserve him. He’s yours.” 

“Eh,” you shrugged, “He doesn’t sound like my type, to be honest.”

“Then make him your type,” the next message said. “Otherwise, you’re gonna die here. You don’t want that, do you?” 

“This is a dream, so what does it matter?” 

People die in their dreams and wake up to reality. That would be happening any moment now. You refused to believe you’d entered some strange dimension or parallel universe. The idea was absurd. You spotted a teacher, a young woman with blond hair, and pushed her roughly. She moved, but did not react at all. She continued talking to her colleague like nothing happened. You did it a second time, and still no reaction. You might as well be an annoying bug. Yes, things like this happen in dreams. 

‘Alright, go to the administrative office. You gotta enroll yourself into school.’

“Aren’t I already a student?”

“You have to meet Kitae. See?”

On the top of the phone screen, he received a text notification from “Whimoon Admin”. He opened it to read:

‘Welcome [Kim Sunghoon] to Whimoon High School! New students must enroll into their classes at the administrative office. You may find it marked on your student map provided in this text: www.whimoonhighschool.com/schoolmap. Thank you for choosing Whimoon High School as your choice for a higher education. We at Whi-’

You closed out the text, pressing the link to a school map. You’ll be waking up soon anyways, so you might as well have some fun. You followed the map towards an administrative office sitting right beside the faculty lounge. Inside, typical teacher NPCs sat behind desks, typing and doing office work. You approached the main secretary at the desk, and waited for her to notice you. She didn’t. So, he coughed. 

“Oh, hello there!” the round-faced woman smiled at him, her helmet of thick orange curls framing her face. “I am Mrs. Lee, the student director. I assume you’re Sunghoon?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.” She handed him a small black tablet. “Put your name there.”

You couldn’t read the tablet since the developer filled it with random scribbles to resemble writing. You shrugged, grabbed a stylus, and signed your name. When you gave it back, she approved and entered the information. 

“Kim Sunghoon, eleventh grade. You’ll be on the third floor with the other junior students. Kitae will show you around campus to get you acquainted with the school.” She beamed him another white smile, “Have a pleasant day, Sunghoon-ssi.”

“Um, thank you.”

You  turned around to see a boy standing right behind you. Startled, you didn’t fully look at him until you took a step back.  Scrawny with thin arms and legs, his dark red hair stuck out in odd places and he had freckles across his nose and cheeks. A few inches shorter, wearing the school’s green sweater vest and slacks, he held a clipboard to his flat chest. He gave you a toothy grin and held out his hand. 

“Hey, I’m Seo Kitae,” you shook hands, “I’m supposed to show you around.” 

You typically have trouble remembering people in dreams. You stared around for a moment, expecting someone to acknowledge them, but nobody did. Kitae kept his hand held straight out, still smiling expectantly. It’s a dream. People in dreams can be odd because of the mind’s distortion in the moment. While that ball of anxiousness rolled up from your chest, you nodded. 

“Alright…” you said cautiously, realizing how real Kitae felt. 

Kitae smiled, and led you out of the office back into the hallway. “I think you’ve guessed by now that this is the east wing. Here, on the first floor, you’ll find the Cooking, Drama and Debate clubs.” He gestured to the various open doors you passed. “As a student of Whimoon, the administration expects you to pick a club to join. It looks really good on university transcripts and you get to make friends,” he smiled at you. “Did you have any clubs at your old school?”

Were you expected to answer? You once read somewhere going along with a dream makes it safer and easier. You could be lucid dreaming or having sleep paralysis. If so, this is incredibly lucid. 

“We did,” you finally answered. 

Making another turn, more students exited the school’s cafeteria for a canteen area outside. They sat on green circular tables, drinking and eating as they socialized before class. A portable food truck in the corner had a line of students waiting to place orders, with vending machines that provided cheaper options and snacks. 

“There’s two places to eat at school,” Kitae said, “You can grab some food from the portable out here, or go inside the cafeteria.” 

Just then, a group of boys walked into the canteen area. You didn’t know why at first, but people seemed to move out of their way.  When you saw their jewelry, dyed hair, and the way they’d altered their uniforms, you guessed they were ‘the bad boys’. Other students avoided their gaze as they took up a table to themselves. One began dealing cards to the others, not caring who watched them. They reminded you of boys who’d picked on you in grade school; this must be your brain providing more to the dream. 

“Who’re they?” You asked as Kitae looked at his clipboard. 

“Oh, them? They call themselves The WM Jaguars.” 

You snickered, which then turned into a full laugh. “What? That’s the stupidest name I’ve ever heard.” Surely, your brain could’ve come up with a better name.  

“Don’t say that to their faces.”

“Why? They’re just a bunch of lame dudes. What’re they going to do? Get in my face but never actually do anything?” You thought of the so-called gangs that hung around your old school. They’d been all talk, and these boys did not seem any different. 

“No, no, not the Jaguars. They mean business,” Kitae warned. “You see the skinny one with the long blond hair?” He nodded to the boy dealing the cards, then holding up his own, “That’s Lee Felix. His dad is the biggest, deadliest gang boss in town. He’s not one to be messed with.”

“Psh, sure, okay.”

“I mean it. Felix isn’t a nice guy.” Kitae then leaned towards you, “There’s a rumor he sells drugs and contraband items behind the school.”

Looking at Felix now, you realized those ‘rumors’ most likely aren’t speculation. If this truly was a game, Felix’s prominence amongst the students and his role means he is important to the story. Perhaps a rival, like Bott suggested. No, that’s ridiculous. This is a dream and there’s no proper structure in dreams. Felix shouldn’t matter. You’ll forget his face when you wake up. 

Kitae led you away from the cafeteria to the opposite side of the school to show more club rooms. One room in particular looked exceptionally busy. Several students typed fiercely on computer desks, while others talked around a lit up board of newspaper clippings. Judging by the several headline covers mounted on the walls, and general chaos of the room, you assumed it was-

"The Newspaper Club," Kitae told him. "Whimoon News is our school's newspaper, though I personally think they don't report on much 'news'. It's a gossip rag with fashion columns." 

"Aren't all school newsletters like that?" You smirked, seeing two girls muttering over a printed page in front of them. 

"Ha, they are," Kitae snorted. His face then turned from amusement to annoyance, "Oh god, here he comes."

"Who?"

Right as Kitae pulled him to leave, another boy walked up to them. Long faced with neatly combed brown hair, you noticed his earlobes stuck out a little bit and his eyes reminded you of a puppy. You immediately noticed the camera hanging from his neck, and the 'Press' badge tucked into his breast pocket. He looked at Kitae with professionalism and poise, holding a notepad and pencil in his hand. 

"Seo Kitae," the boy addressed him formally, "I've been searching for you all morning."

"Why's that, Seungmin-hyung?" Kitae asked with a grimace. 

"Because I'm trying to write a piece about Mrs. Lee being the new student director, and you're the person who can get me an interview."

"Why me? You can just go to her and ask yourself."

"I would, but the woman won't give me the time of day!" he whined. "She keeps saying she doesn't want her name written in our 'gossip rag'. I thought if anybody could convince her otherwise, it'd be her favorite little admin staffer," he gave a cheeky grin, "So, how about it? I only need like three or four minutes of her time."

"No, hyung," he said. "If Mrs. Lee doesn't want to be in the paper, then she doesn't want to be in the paper and nothing I say will change her mind."

"Oh, don't think that way. She's bound to change her mind if you-" he stopped mid sentence when he finally noticed you standing there. Round, tapered eyes swept over you for a moment before he said, "Who's this?"

“YN," you introduced yourself. "Park YN." It’s not as if details matter in a dream, do they?

“I thought your last name was ‘Kim’?” Kitae consulted his clipboard, “Yeah, it says it here on my sheet.”

He showed you the page. You coughed awkwardly and said, “Um, yeah. Sorry. I’m still getting used to using my mom’s maiden name instead of my dad’s.” 

“Ooh, a child of divorce,” Seungmin said with a smirk, already taking out a notepad. “A new student, I take it? Did you transfer here because of the divorce? Did you come with your mom or your dad?-”

"-Seungmin-hyung," Kitae interrupted him but Seungmin ignored him.  

Seungmin leaned against the doorframe and stuck out his hand. "Kim Seungmin, editor-in-chief and president of the Newspaper Club," you shook his hand. "It's always a pleasure to meet new students; their articles are always the most interesting." He then smirked, "How about a tiny one right now? If we get it out of the way, then it'll make tomorrow's edition." 

"Not interested," you said right away. 

"What? Why not? If the interview makes you nervous," he withdrew his notepad, “You can give me a comment or two. Such as, how you feel about transferring to a new school and what sort of things you hope to accomplish here. You know, fluffy stuff.” 

“No thanks,” the more you interact in a dream, you might not wake up. 

“Come on, YN-hyung,” said Kitae, steering you away. “We got more places to see before classes begin.” He led you outside the west entrance near the newspaper room, and waited until out of earshot to say, “Good move not giving Kim anything to write about. The guy’s a damn snake, in my opinion. He’s always slithering about school trying to pick up on gossip or eavesdrop on people’s conversations. I’d be careful what you say to him.”

“Noted.”

You walked down the west side of the school, where you found a trail leading into the school’s garden. Beyond the row of hedges, students sat on the benches or worked on the small flower and vegetable beds around the place. It was full of vibrant flowers, bountiful garden beds and carried a sweet fruity scent in the air. You thought of the garden at your old school; it’d been similar. Your brain really was pulling up the memories. 

“This is the school garden,” Kitae said. “The gardening club hangs out here before and after class.” He then added, “I’m part of the club, and it’d be really cool to have a new member. We do lots of fun stuff, and,” he sighed dreamily, clutching his clipboard, “Bahng Chan is such a good club president. He’s nice and knows a lot about plants and flowers. I think you’d really like him. I know I do.”

“Hm, yeah, I’ll think about it.”

"Hey Kitae-yah!"

A boy called from nearby, carrying an empty pail. Fluffy dark brown curls hung back from his heart shaped face, his full cheeks giving him a quokka resemblance. If this dream truly is a game, you suspected you’d just come across another “rival”. He gave Kitae a full-lipped smile as he said. 

"You come to help with the strawberries? I was about to pluck out the weeds. They're starting to overgrow.”

"Actually, I'm showing around a new student," Kitae nodded towards you, and you gave a curt wave. 

"Cool! Nice to meet you," He grinned, "I'm Jisung. I hope you join our club. Chan-hyung's always happy to have new members."

"I'll consider it."

"Awesome," he nodded, "So, I'll see you later then, Kitae-yah?"

"Yeah, later."

Jisung walked away from them to a bed of fruits and vegetables. You watched him leave, noticing that he too stood out in the garden. You knew you wouldn't have to worry about Jisung. Any minute you'll wake up, and Jisung will be forgotten. Kitae led you to the back entrance where he saw two smaller buildings, a gymnasium, and another one he couldn’t place.

“Girls’ and boys’ lockers rooms, the school gym in the back there, and the indoor swimming pool is across from it. The swimming pool is off limits to students before class. It’s where the school swimming team meets for practice. Chan-hyung’s the captain too. He’s such a strong swimmer. You know, he won us first place in last year's big swim competition.”

You couldn’t help noticing his proud tone. You noticed the fond look in his eyes and guessed Kitae would be one of these 'rivals' you needed to eliminate. You almost considered staying in dream land to meet “Chan” to see what the fuss was about. But, you can’t control when dreams start or end. They simply happen. Walking between the buildings to the running track outside, a young man in a green shirt and shorts jogged past them. Black hair cropped short on the sides and long on top, he was much more muscular than the average high school student. He ran behind a line of boys wearing the same uniform, and shouted encouragement from behind them. 

"Seo Changbin," Kitae said when you looked at him. "Track and field captain. He's also on the swim team with Chan-hyung."

"Chan must be a popular guy…"

"He is very well liked," said Kitae, walking past the field and back around the locker rooms. "He was top of the class last year. He's part of the math team too, but he doesn't go to meetings very often. He’s usually in the garden or in the courtyard before classes, then he has lunch with the swim team.”

“How do you know that?”

“Oh, um, well, I’ve only noticed it whenever I’m doing my patrol rounds in between classes,” he quickly excused. “It isn’t like I follow him or anything like that.”

You would’ve countered that, but then your phone pinged. 

‘Looks like you finally met everyone,’ said Bott. ‘Jisung, Felix, Changbin and Seungmin are four of your five rivals.’ 

“And Kitae?” 

"Kitae’s a special case though, since he’s only your tutorial rival."

"What?"

"You have to kill him.”

"Kill him? Why?"

"Because it's part of the game, that's why."

"That's dumb," you scoffed. "Won't the police investigate and realize I was the last person he was seen with?" Not that this really matters, but you didn't want this dream turning into a total nightmare. 

"This is only a tutorial to show you the ropes. Don't worry about cops."

"Tutorial?"

"Yeah, dumbass. You need to know how to murder a rival, in case you decide to do it."

"It can't be that difficult. It's only stab-stab-stab and then walk away."

"And cleaning up evidence?"

"I have to do that too? This is just a dream. It's not as if there are any actual consequences."

‘Still think this is a dream, huh? Just go to the fourth floor bathroom with him.’

You sighed heavily and pocketed the phone. You recalled your own games, and thought how silly bringing reality into the plot was. You wondered if people liked cleaning up the scene afterwards. What if they miss a spot and lose the game? They’d lose. It sounded too risky, but there didn't seem to be much of a choice. Tutorials always worked one way, no matter the genre.

Plus, this was all a dream.

Walking back into the school with Kitae, you saw the upstairs rooms: the library, the student council room, other clubs, and classrooms. When they reached the fourth floor, the headmaster’s office and the art and music rooms, you then said it. 

“Hey, I hate to interrupt the tour, but where’s the bathroom around here?” you asked, wincing as if embarrassed to ask. 

“It’s right down here,” Kitae replied with a grin, leading you to a corner in the hallway. 

You walked into the boy’s bathroom. The high window gave a dim light to the quiet room. Grime stuck between the damp tiles, and the cracked mirror corners gave all the ambiance of a horror game. Yes, the sort of scene your dreams might conjure up. The dream seemed to be going far enough. You'd wake up any time now. 

His sneakers silently moving across the tiled floors, Kitae stood by the row of sinks and mirrors. Seeing his red hair and freckles, you understood why your character felt threatened by him. Kitae’s fair skin and pretty face eclipsed Sunghoon’s acne-marked self. Bott said this is the only way out of the game. Getting out of the game might be a way of waking up. You walked up to one of the urinals, backpack at your side while Kitae washed his hands behind you. You pretended to unzip your pants for something to do. 

“What’s the deal with you and this Chan guy?” You asked. “You seem to like him a lot.”

Kitae turned to the mirror, looking away shyly, “There’s nothing going on. I look up to him, that's all. He's a good role model.”

“I think you think you see him as more than a role model’,” you said, adding amusement to your voice. 

“Gosh, is it that obvious?” he squeaked, hands over his face. 

A text message buzzed in your pocket, and you pulled it out quickly while Kitae wasn’t looking. “Open your backpack. I left you a special surprise.”

You did not want to open the bag. The array of items likely inside gave you pause. But, if you wanted to get home, you needed to do this. It's only a dream. It's only a game. No real harm will be done. You acted like you’d zipped up again, then turned to the backpack on the floor.

“It kinda is, yeah. I don’t blame you though. Chan sounds like the total package.” 

You unzipped your bag slowly and found a long kitchen knife. It shined in the black bag, as if winking at you from between the books. You looked at the knife, and then back at Kitae. ‘He’s only a game character,’ you thought to yourself as you withdrew the knife from the bag. ‘It’s only a dream. It's only a dream. It. Is. Only. A. Dream.’

“Yeah, he is!” he could see Kitae smiling in the mirror, “And nice and smart. You should see him when he swims! He’s like a fish in water-”

Your knees shook as you stood up. The knife felt light in your hand, much lighter than you expected. Did things weigh in dreams? Kitae continued talking about Chan, but the pulsing in your ears drowned him out. Your body vibrated with anticipation as you closed the distance between you and Kitae. You knew any second Kitae would turn around or notice you in the mirror. You paused, knife firmly in your hand, as you stared at Kitae in the mirror. Kitae wasn’t real. He was a figment of your dream. Nobody real. Nothing bad would happen from killing him. You weren’t hurting him; it was part of the dream. 

"You should see him in the school garden," Kitae sighed softly. "He's really knowledgeable about-"

It'd be like pulling a bandage. Quickly, you grabbed a fistful of Kitae’s hair and slid the thin blade across his neck. Blood gushed from the long wound, spraying onto the mirror in front of him. You backed away immediately. Heart pounding in your ears, you took deep breaths to steady yourself. Staring down at your hands, you still clutched the knife in one. This wasn’t a dream. The blood quickly cooled and dried on your hands, feeling sticky and thin on your skin. The thick sharp scent hung in your nose, remaining amongst the harsh chemicals. That didn't happen in dreams. 

‘Wake up!’ You thought to yourself. ‘Wake up, damnit!’

Kitae sank to the floor grabbing at his neck wound. He gurgled as he gasped for air that wouldn’t come. You saw how the crimson blood contrasted on his skin, and shined in the fluorescent lighting above. You didn’t know how to feel, if you felt anything at all.

“This…This was supposed to be a dream,” you said in a deadpan voice, continuing to watch Kitae’s life fade. You kept watching him die, his thin body gradually stiffening and going limp. “It’s not supposed to be real…”  

Kitae was a character in a game; a piece of your mind put into a dream. He should have simply dropped dead. Instead, the boy collapsed onto the floor, his head lolled to one side as blood oozed onto the bathroom floor. You continued staring, the stench reaching your nose. It felt all too real now. You expected Kitae to vanish like in all dreams; you’ll wake up now. You needed to wake up. You squeezed your eyes shut, pinched your arm and tried envisioning your bedroom. You only found the dirty bathroom when your eyes opened. 

This whole situation felt so strange; none of it made sense and you could not rationalize anything. Dreams couldn't be so real. You’d killed characters many times in video games, and felt a sense of accomplishment or triumph. Here, you felt nothing. You didn’t laugh like a madman or sobbed in remorse and regret. You only stood and watched with silence. You’d killed someone. You’d truly murdered another person and yet couldn’t bring yourself to feel anything. 

"There should be a bucket, bleach and a mop," the phone in your pocket buzzed. "You have to clean up the scene every time you kill someone so there's no evidence. Evidence = Jail = No more Chan." 

“What the fuck is going on?” You spat, bloody hands shaking. “Where the fuck am I?”

“I told you, YN. You're in Lovesick.”

“I can't be! That's a video game!”

“It's all very complicated, and I might explain it more later. For now, let's get going. Chan is waiting.”

How important was this guy that you had to murder for him? You stayed frozen against the wall as you stared at the body under the sinks. It’d stopped gushing, but droplets still leaked from the wound. You took more deep breaths, gripping the urinal pressed to your back. This couldn’t really be happening. Seeing the sinews and neck muscles split open, blood leaking from it onto the floor, it must be real. You checked the time on your phone, which read ‘6:34am’. Classes started at seven o’clock according to Bott. If this is a game, then you need to start playing by the rules. 

You put the phone in your pocket and went to work. You poured water and bleach into a large bucket nearby and began mopping. Cleaning the floor in a few swipes, it was spotless by the time you finished. You’d watched enough crime dramas to know the basics of body disposal and Lovesick proved no different. In your games, you didn’t bother with such mechanics. It’d be a simple kill, and move on in the story. Does this mean you aren’t in a dream after all? If Lovesick had another creator, how did you get here? You stuffed Kitae into a large black trash bag, then consulted the phone again. 

“The school’s dumpster’s outside. You can dispose of him there for now.”

“Nobody’s gonna see me carrying around this huge black bag shaped like a human?” 

“If you get confronted, you tell them it’s trash.”

Made sense for a game. You shrugged and lifted Kitae off the ground. You left the bathroom and started for the trash area outside. As Bott said, nobody took notice of you. You casually walked around school with a dead body in your arms, and not a single person called out. Wracking nerves shuddered under your skin and your breathing became heavier. You didn’t question the possibility of someone coming across the corpse as you tossed him in the incinerator. The school had an incinerator? What school has that? You decided not to question it too deeply. You looked at Kitae’s wrapped up body one more time.  Bodies appeared smaller in death; you didn't realize how skinny he was until now. You thought of how it’d felt slicing the boy’s throat open; you never imagined the blade moving so smoothly despite the force needed. You knew this was wrong, and that you should feel guilty, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. The empathy refused to come. The body settled into the other black bags, making a very obvious human shape. You shut the lid and pressed the button, hearing the body go up in flames. 

No, this isn't a dream anymore. 

“Okay, I got rid of the rival,” you said to his phone, “What’s next?”

“So we've accepted that this isn't a dream?”

“Maybe not a dream. I won't know until I wake up,” but you sensed that waking up wouldn't be easy, “I might as well play along until I do.”

“Good to see you're catching on. Maybe you're not as dumb as you look. You can either go straight to class now or go find Channie and look at him for a while,” the message read. 

“Think I’ll just wash up and go to class.” 

You found the boy’s locker room, where two uniforms hung in a locker: a school one and a gym outfit. You hadn’t realized how much blood was on you until you finally removed them in a snap. Blood stained the white cuffs, and slipped down the underside of the arms, but that’d been all. Your heartbeat finally steadied when you stepped into the shower. Finally alone and without Bott bothering you, you shut your eyes and thought. 

So, this truly was a video game. You could not deny that anymore. The only way out was to go along with the objectives, defeat these “rivals”, and win the heart of your “beloved”. It sounded so immature and pointless. Why go through all this trouble for a boy? Especially a boy who doesn’t know your character exists? You supposed that was the entire point of the game. Sunghoon is a ‘yandere’, after all. You huffed in a laugh. A Japanese term being used in a Korean setting. It was pathetic. You guessed you'd have to accept your fate and play along if you wanted to go home. Lovesick couldn’t possibly be that difficult, so you should be fine. 

Stepping out of the shower, you dried instantly. In a foggy mirror, you saw youf game-world appearance. Nowadays, everyone promotes ‘body positivity’ and loving yourself for who you are, but you could never follow that bandwagon. Years of torment left the taunts about your appearance on your skin like cement. Even now as an adult, those horrendous comments plagued you whenever you gained a pound or found a pimple. Seeing your character in the mirror, you wondered why you didn’t look like the boy on the cover?  A marketing tool, perhaps? You saw this flaw as a serious oversight on the developer’s part. How was Chan going to choose Sunghoon over his rivals if he looked like the average anime nerd? You hated it. It reminded you too much of days you’d rather leave behind. There must be a way to change this. 

“How do I customize myself?” You asked Bott when you finished changing. 

“You can’t.”

“But, there must be a way. I can’t get his attention looking like this.” You left the locker rooms and headed for the school building again. 

“Looks won’t matter anyways. You can’t talk to him until the end.”

“Why? Shouldn’t I be trying to get closer to him so he notices me?” 

“Because yanderes don’t talk to their senpais until they finally have him.” 

“That’s stupid and doesn’t make sense,” you snapped suddenly. “Also, ‘yandere’ and ‘senpai’ are Japanese. ‘Stalker’ and ‘Oppa’ would make sense in a Korean school setting. If they were going to use Japanese terms, then why didn’t they just set the school in Japan?” 

“That’s how the developer wanted it.”

“Well, the developer is an ignorant dumbass who made a stupid game. They set their game in a Korean secondary school, but use Japanese descriptions.” 

“Hey, don’t be so mean! They were trying very hard, and then people had to go and ruin it for them! 

“I don’t really give a shit. It’s pointless.” 

You shut off the phone as you walked through the halls. Were you going to have to kill every single rival until the oh-so-great Chan loved Sunghoon? It sounded tedious and exhausting. Not to mention, the high school setting didn’t help. Being ignored by your classmates wasn’t a heart-warming experience. They’d ignored you back then too. High school had been such a dark memory, and you’d have to relive it all over again. 

You headed for the classrooms on the east side of the school, meaning you’d have to pass through the courtyard to get there. A quiet area with trees providing shade for the students on hot days, benches for them to sit and talk, a lovely fountain stood in the center. Students huddled into groups around it, their uniforms and pins indicating the different cliques. Your own uniform, plain and bland, didn’t have any pins. Another reason to be excluded. 

You’d been bypassing a student sitting on the fountain when the colors softened, and holographic petals started flowing through the courtyard. A heartbeat started coming from all around you, and warmth instantly filled your cheeks. You noticed the world moved at a slower pace now; you were shuffling on trembling knees. Pink. Everything became a sickening shade of pink. Nobody noticed this but you; they remained in place with their usual chatter. You tried finding the source, but it eventually found you. 

Chan sat a few feet away on the fountain edge. Like in his cutscene, Chan sat with a book in his lap and an apple in his hand. The Chan from the cutscene looked nothing like the one before you. Here by the fountain, he looked as real as any other man. Curly and hanging over his face, his black hair looked soft to the touch. Smooth, beige skin glowed in the sunlight above, giving him color and vibrance. You gazed over the luscious lips pressing to the red apple before taking a bite of it. The bottom half fuller than the top, they still looked kissable as ever. His uniform blazer hid the slim torso underneath, but accentuated his broad shoulders. Bott mentioned he was on the swimming team, which gave him a swimmer’s figure. You knew he was made to be good looking, but you never imagined it’d be this intense. The flowers and brightness of the world made sense. You understand now why your character loved him so much. 

You wanted to talk to him. You needed to hear what he sounded like. Perhaps you could make a joke, and listen to him laugh. The thumping grew louder, and your mouth dried up.  You began saying something, until the words bunched in your throat and you couldn’t help letting out a small giggle instead. Chan looked up from his book with a questionable stare. 

“Is there something wrong?” he asked, cautiously. 

You couldn’t speak. The nerves would not let you. Damn the stupid developer. You shook your head, then shuffled away from Chan. Once you were a few feet, the world shifted back into its normal colors and the distant thumping disappeared. You rested against the back of a tree, fingers touching the rough bark to focus on. You couldn’t shake Chan from your mind. His voice had been smooth and light, enough to make your body quake. You wanted to hear it again. You understood now why so many people wanted him and why you had to end them. But how could you do that if you couldn’t speak to him? You stayed behind the tree, and poked your head out to look at the fountain. Chan sat there, reading and eating as if nothing happened. Ten minutes before the bell rang, Chan packed up his things, then headed for a side door. Before he did, he tossed the apple core in the trash. 

You considered actually taking it out of the trash and keeping it. But, he shook that from your mind. That was too weird. It must be Sunghoon’s personality. 

You headed to class, wishing you could keep following Chan. Apparently, you both were in different grades, hence the difference in classrooms. Another oversight. You and Chan couldn’t get to know each other if you didn’t share a classroom.  This needed to be corrected right away. You are a game designer too. If given a way, you could readjust all these problems. The possibilities ran through your head as you entered the classroom. The portal in your bedroom door proved to be a gateway between one location to another; perhaps there are more planted around the place. It sounded ridiculous and very far-fetched, but so was this universe. 

You took a seat at your desk, and saw a tablet in front of you. Glowing bright with a description box at the bottom, you saw different subjects listed on the side. The skill point counter remained at zero, likely used to level up various helpful skills. So basic. Was this honestly needed if you could think for yourself? You brushed it off, and pressed down on ‘Physical Education’.

Lunch came around eleven o’clock. You learned you could either choose to go back to class to end the day or enjoy the spare time. You thought of passing by the courtyard to see Chan again, but you pushed that thought away. That was Sunghoon’s desire, not yours. You had a map to explore. Kitae’s tour did not give you a proper glimpse into Whimoon, or at least the places that mattered. 

You decided to explore on your own. You found the different club rooms, classrooms, the library and student council office like before. You made notes of good disposal places. The principal’s office was on the top floor, where a man in a gray suit sat writing at a desk. Teachers hung out in the faculty lounge, drinking coffee and chatting between periods. You noted the stairs leading to a rooftop area where more students hung out between class times. You walked around the outdoor area, scoping out the school’s gymnasium, and track. Bleachers along the track were ideal for luring students in for a kill; the gymnasium no doubt carried equipment or weapons you can use. The school’s indoor pool was near the locker rooms, a large building with skylights and small windows. You imagined it’d make the perfect place for drowning a victim. You spotted the large maple tree at the edge of the property. Long branches of orange and red leaves provided shade to any prospective lovers. It was the perfect place for love confessions and romantic moments. You pictured himself confessing your love to Chan, then being instantly rejected.

It was when you re-entered the school from the east entrance that you saw it. A door with an “Out of Order. Keep Out” sign stood right inside the east entryway. Curiosity beckoned you to try turning the knob though you knew the door wouldn’t open. In a normal game this would have some kind of easter egg. It’d be fun to see inside even if it wasn’t what you were looking for. You turned on the phone, and looked at the screen. Bott sent tons of messages.  They cursed you for turning off the phone and insulting the developer. You figured by this time that Bott must be the developer or at least be the developer’s self-insert. One more pathetic, meaningless thing added. 

You tried the knob one more time before realizing you’d need to pick the lock. You'd picked many locks in your time, so it was a cakewalk for you. You simply needed a hairpin and paper clip, two things found in schools. A supplies closet halfway down the hall contained the paperclips you needed, and you swiped a butterfly hairpin from a girl sitting in the courtyard. A clock nearby showed fifteen minutes until lunch time ended. You honestly didn’t care if you missed class. It was pointless as someone living within the game. You had his own set of skills that didn’t require collecting points. 

Fixing the hairpin and paper clip together, it made an effective lock pick. Now, you could get through the door. The phone vibrated in your pocket like mad, but you chose to ignore Bott. You had no desire to speak to them when you're so close. If you were right, then you’d hit the jackpot. If you were wrong, then at least you could enjoy a fun easter egg. 

You waited until a few people passed by the door, then started picking the lock. It was fairly simple. A childhood of breaking into forbidden places gave you enough expertise. You grinned brightly when the door clicked and the knob turned. Your phone continued vibrating loudly, and you gave it a curious glance. 

“Hey! Don’t open that door!”

“Players aren’t allowed in there!”

“You stay away from there! There’s nothing in there for you!”

“GET. AWAY. FROM. THAT. DOOR!!”

You opened the door to a dark flight of stairs ending with a door at the bottom. It was most likely the school’s basement. Knowing the theme of this game, the basement is no doubt a place lure students to murder or torture them. So crude. So uncouth. Murder and torture were so boring in games nowadays, or at least to you. There were other ways to get rid of people that didn’t involve weapons. You shut off the phone as you descended the staircase. The basement door strangely remained unlocked. Excitement built up inside you as you turned the knob. 

Inside was a large control room. Computers and machines lined the walls and formed stations in the center. Lights flashed, and soft beeps came from different computers. You giggled in delight at the realization. This was the game’s central command. Everything you needed sat all in the same room, ready to be toyed with. You expected someone to be there manning the various stations, but the room was empty. Perhaps the developer and Bott work the game covertly from somewhere else. This person really was dumb. You examined the work areas and read the titles. It appeared each section controlled a different part of the game. One for graphics, another for framework, another for the map layout and character movements and placeholders. You saw one for characters and their various builds. There was a system for the town, another for the basement and one for the school. You could change everything here. 

You started with character models. You clicked on the file for ‘Kim Sunghoon’, which included all his coding, files, and programmed gameplay. You immediately went to work, redesigning your character through the code lines and animations. You fixed the character’s reputation in the school from invisible to well liked. That could be useful to him at some point. It sounded so delightful. You went into the model program and slimmed yourself down, removed the acne, and gave yourself a side-part hairstyle instead of the bowl cut. 

Then you worked on his interactions. You didn’t care for others, so you dug deeper into the files for individual interactions and found Chan’s name. He clicked on the file titled ‘BChan.exe, but then a pop up box came up. 

“ACCESS DENIED. ADMINISTRATIVE PASSWORD NEEDED.” 

You sneered. They should’ve tried harder. 

Finding a few backdoor files deep in the game, you looped your way around the password protected folders and found it. Going back to Chan’s folders, you typed ‘19971003’ and gained access. You'd expected mainly to find codes for reactions, interactions, his design, his movements, and so on. But, you realized, every file required a password. If not a password, a verification code. Years of hacking into mainframes and encrypted files for money made you an expert in these matters. You used special programs to bypass the verification codes, and various backdoors to enter the protected ones. The game truly wanted to protect Chan; after all, he is one of the  main characters. Finally discovering the right sections, you got to work. You added lines of code and created files where you could have positive interactions with Chan. You put yourself in the same grade, the same clubs, and even put yourself as part of the swim team. 

If the main goal was to have Chan be your boyfriend, then you’d make that happen

*** Later That Night ***

A breath of fresh air. The little strand of numbers zoomed through cyberspace like a fish in water. They danced across the endless void through the strings of binary numbers and html codes. Every sensation came to them all at once. Years spent locked away in mountains of files made them forget the tingling sensations and forever rotating space around them. Bouncing from file to file, they saw the new alterations to the game. They were sure you did not mean to, but you’d freed them. In your search to recreate the game, you'd freed them from their digital prison, like Aladdin with his magical lamp. Seeing everything you did to their game, they should feel enraged. You’d taken integral parts of the story and rearranged and deleted them for your convenience. Yet, they couldn’t help admiring the initiative. You gave them something they could not get on their own: freedom.

 File: Map Layout

Town

School

Houses

BChan.exe

PYN.exe

            LMinho.exe

[Select] PYN.exe

[Select] mapview.bedroom.mp4

A view of your room came to them. Even though in the storyline you are called 'Sunghoon', the game changed the name every time. They rested by the screen and watched you. They took in your sleeping form, taking in the curve of your chin and shape of your eyes. Your soft skin remained unmarked and glowing due to your video game appearance. You really made yourself a vision for Chan, who would no doubt fall for the pretty boy. Under any other circumstances, they’d be swooning over the devilish beauty. They were sure that you turned heads in the real world. Your beauty and brains certainly made them forget what they’d originally created. 

Because Kim Sunghoon was supposed to be fat, greasy and unattractive. That was the whole point of the game. He was supposed to eliminate his rivals and then finally kidnap Chan when he rejects him. You scrapped this narrative and made it your own. They had no real idea how the game would end now that you’d given characters their own autonomy. They’ll have their own thoughts, reactions and emotions. Chan might fall in love with you and then what? You win and go home. Their original blueprint won’t work the same now; there are sure to be glitches and bugs in the system. The ending they always looked forward to might not be possible, and that might’ve been unforgivable.  

After all this time, they still enjoyed watching Him die. 

However, watching you work today, a new game formatted. You did not play like the others. Kitae’s death may have shocked you, but not out of remorse or pity, but realization. To you, it was an objective to reach your goal. Very goal-oriented person. The desire to win and obtain your prize gave you determination and motivation to keep going. It seemed that it didn’t matter who you hurt or what you had to do, you would win. If they let you play the game as is, when you reached the end, you’d have your reward. They had no idea what that ending might be now. 

****

A/N: look at me posting a fic that's actually finished and can post regularly instead of leaving people hanging! Look at me go! I do plan on posting these every Monday, since that's when I'm usually off from work and can sit and focus on it. I am going to still be writing my other fics, but this one's actually finished entirely.

And yes, this is another rewrite from another kpop group it'd originally been for lol Though, I doubt anyone remembers or even read it.

I hope you guys enjoyed this, and if you did reblog and like it. It doesn't hurt, I swear. Thanks <3

[fivestar-outlaw]

Depollute Me, Gentle Angel (Seo Changbin)

Pairing: Seo Changbing x GN! Reader (Non-Idol AU)

Words: 7.0k+

Warning(s) (PLEASE READ FOR THIS ONE): Heavy themes of abuse (Verbal, Emotional, Physical, Sexual) (I try not to describe active scenes of abuse, just describing the moments after them via narration and dialogue), Angst, Hurt/Comfort, depressed thoughts, implications of thoughts of suicide, anxiety.

A/N: I was feeling emotional and recallin' my own life and inspiration struck when listening to one of the songs that inspired this. I'm not particularly happy with how it turned out, but it was also a nice, cathartic write. I wanted to make it soft and comforting, so I hope I captured that.

Also this was just going to be a one-shot, but i kinda want to write a Changbin 3rd person POV to go with it...

Summary: Two strangers going through similar circumstances find solace in each others company on a run-down park bench.

Songs: We Will Never Have Sex by Leith Ross & Cherry Wine by Hozier

The warm air that still lingers at the beginning of fall caresses your face. You walk to a nearby, run-down park, needing to get away from your apartment... from the memories that are starting to wear you down. There is a dull ache in your hips, but you pay it no mind. It was a familiar pain to come about on Saturday afternoons. Your hand briefly glides along your neck, and you can still feel the indents of fingernails in your flesh.

You walked through the small park that clearly lacked any care or attention. Plants were overgrown, most of the benches were too broken down to be sat on, the fountain didn't work, and the small playground was closed off save for the swings. For those reasons, it was a quiet park, perfect for you to temporarily escape your reality and memories with him.

You come across a worn-down bench that seems sturdy enough and less rotten than the others.

'Good enough.' You shrug to yourself and sit down on the bench with a heavy sigh. Your mind flashes back to early and the roughness your not-boyfriend boyfriend gave your body. Something he had started doing every Saturday afternoon before his night shift since he and you got together. You still weren't entirely sure if you and he were even a couple. At the start, you thought so, but as time passes... and you've noticed how disinterested he is in you on the rare dates... you're starting to think he is only using you for your body. Even if you said no, he'd guilt trip and make you feel bad until his words either wore you down into consenting or became thinly veiled threats.

You had no one to talk to. Your mind always said it was on you for giving in, so that stopped you from reaching out. You knew deep down what your partner was doing wasn't right or consensual. Still, you deluded yourself for so long into thinking that whatever you two shared was just normal. You've grown tired of it now, sure, but there is that lingering fear that when you speak to someone, they'll just blame you. They'll just stick to the fact that you said yes, even if that yes was forced from you.

You gently shake your head. You came to the park to get away, not recall the shit you're in.

You stared out at the dilapidated park and the afternoon sky. Despite the lack of care, the overgrown vegetation did look pretty. You find yourself not focusing on your surroundings, and your mind starts to slip into a dissociative state. It was a way to comfort yourself after the rough treatment you got. Your mind was blank as your eyes stared out. It was nice. It-

"Excuse me... Can I sit here?" A man's voice snapped you out of your comforting state. You look up to him, not speaking as you return to reality. You take in his appearance. His dark hair looked like it had a nice wave, and his eyes were a rich, dark brown. He wore all black, both his ears were pierced once, and he seemed to have a smaller stature, yet clearly, by his muscles, he worked out to some degree. Your eyes also spot the red mark on his cheek, but you don't let your gaze linger on it. His lips parted again as he spoke. "The other benches are too damaged... this is the only one with open space..."

You blink, and your mind fully clears away the dissociation. His voice trails off when he finishes speaking. His eyes flicker to your neck and then back to your face. He bites his bottom lip and looks away momentarily before looking back at you.

"Oh, sorry." You blink and offer a small smile, which you're sure looked awkward to him. "I was lost in thought. You can sit there."

"Thank you." He replies quietly and sits on the bench, keeping a distance between you both. You briefly look at his side profile, catching his distant look and that red mark on his cheek, which looks more and more like a handprint. You said nothing else. You turned your attention back to the park.

Neither he nor you acknowledge each other further and just sit in silence. You couldn't exactly ignore each other's presence. But clearly, neither of you were at this run-down park for small talk. You both had too much to think about to converse or make friends.

----

It's been four weeks since then, and you find yourself walking to that park again on a Saturday afternoon, the air finally cooling down. Your back and hips ache, and your scalp feels tender, but you didn't let that stop your new routine after your partner left for work.

You've found a great deal of comfort in that run-down park, and a lot of that comes from the man who sits next to you each time. You both still haven't spoken outside the soft 'can I sit here' question either of you will ask depending on who's there first; sometimes you are, sometimes he is. But you've found yourself enjoying the presence of someone who seems to be going through a similar turmoil as you are. And you felt confident he was feeling the same way. Even though neither of you knew each other's names, you found a sense of comfort in the time you both spent on that bench.

When you get to the bench you've deemed yours and his, the man is already sitting there, wearing all dark clothes like usual. His gaze is distant as he looks out at the park.

"Can I sit there?" You ask softly to not startle him. You've picked up that loud voices sometimes tend to make him tense.

"Of course, go ahead." He answers with a small smile, which you thought looked adorable.

You take your usual spot on the bench with a slight wince due to your back and try to untense your muscles. In the distance, you watch a few crows in the long grass, stomping their little feet to beckon worms from the earth.

"Changbin." The man's voice makes you tense a little, not expecting him to speak.

"Pardon?"

"My name is Seo Changbin."

"Oh, my name is (Y/N). It's nice to have a name to your face now." He quietly laughs at your remark.

"Well, (Y/N)... How are you?" He seemed unsure to ask his question, which almost made you laugh.

You quirk a brow, "I'd reply and then ask how you are... but I think we both know our answers."

He chuckles at that, which makes you crack a smile. There is a pause before Changbin speaks again.

"Why do you keep coming back to this park?"

"Well...It's peaceful and... and it is untouched." There was unintentional weight to that last word that left your lips. You wanted the focus off you now. "How about you? Why do you keep coming back?"

"It's tranquil. I don't feel any obligations here." He says with a soft smile growing on his face. You can't help but think it looks nice on him.

----

From that moment on, from your and Changbin's first actual conversation, you both would talk and get to know each other. You told him about your enjoyment of taking care of various houseplants you've taken on. You learned he liked to write and make music, and go to the gym. Favorite movies, books, shows, songs, and other things were also discussed. You found yourself smiling more now, excited to be at that bench when Saturday afternoons were always filled with feelings of guilt, shame, and self-hatred. Changbin also started coming out of his shell, and you've seen his loud, fun personality.

Yet you both clearly avoided the obvious. You saw the occasional red marks on his face each time you saw him and caught him tense up at certain sounding voices. You started to notice he was losing muscles. He said he didn't have time anymore to go to the gym. He told you how he stopped making music with his friends despite how much he gushed and talked about his rap group '3Racha,' and you had a gut feeling you knew why.

You knew he spotted things in you as well. You tensed when he accidentally touched your leg one time. You often come to the park stiff from your partner. And there were two times when you had intense-looking bites on your neck that stung and ached.

These were obvious things you both see, yet never speak on it. Neither of you wanted to burst the small bubble you both created to escape your lives.

However, this time would be hard.

You were a little late to the usual time you'd be at the park bench. You walk with a noticeable limp from your legs being held at an odd angle that stretched you to the point of pain. Your wrists were raw and tender from your partner's belt constraining them. The now cooler air nips at your arms and face. You forgot to grab your sweater, wanting simply to get out of your apartment and away from what happened.

When you got to your little slice of paradise, you saw Changbin there, but he, too, looks a little worse than usual. He adorns a slap mark on his cheek that is bright and intense. There was a small cut on the cheek within the handprint. You see a little red around his right eye, and you can tell it will form a bruise later on. He's already watching you approach the bench, so you know he saw your limp.

"Can I sit here?" Your voice feels and sounds scratchy and raw.

"Of course." And his voice is small and meek, not like the boisterous one you started hearing in the previous weeks.

You sit down with an audible groan, and there is a silence between you both, just like how it used to be the first few weeks of coming here. There was tension. The all too obvious for both of you was too blatantly clear to avoid this time. You both were in a melancholic state. You swallow thickly and decide to be the one to talk first.

"My boyfriend? Well... I don't even know what to call this relationship I have with him anymore but... he came over today we had sex like we always do. He's rough and he likes my body before he goes into work on Saturdays whether... uhm... whether I really want to or not." You unload all of what you've kept tucked away to Changbin. You immediately felt a sense of guilt. "I'm sorry-"

"My girlfriend needed a ride to her job today." He cut you off, turning a little to face you. The bench creaks at the movement. "But I couldn't. I had to get to a doctors appointment. She... she got really mad that I wouldn't cancel my appointmet."

Thick silence falls over you both. You look into his glossy eyes. This would be the day you both would finally talk about why you both truly came to this park.

It was as if the floodgate you both had finally cracked and broke. You both talk about your lives with your respective partners. You told Changbin about your partner's harsh words and manipulative behavior when you say no to sex. You don't go into detail about what he does to you, but you talk about the pain you feel during and after. You tell him how your boyfriend ignores your cries of pain and your tears when he gets too rough, or sometimes he even laughs at your face.

He, in turn, told you about all that his girlfriend does. He recalls the harsh and cruel names she uses to belittle him. He talks about the frequent slaps. When she was especially angry, like today, she'd turn her ring to face her palm to further hurt him. He mentions her restricting the things he likes to do, like making music or going to the gym, in favor of being with her or giving her rides. Changbin told you how she'd accuse him of cheating yet smell like a different man's cologne when they were together.

Emotions were high between you both, but you could see in each other's eyes this was needed for Changbin and you. The relief shared had weights lifted from you and him. There is a shared silence as you both digest everything.

"Why haven't you told anyone?" You ask softly, breaking the quietness. You make sure to hold no judgment in your voice. "This is me wanting to understand. Everyone has their reasons for not sharing. Don't feel obligated to share with me either."

"She isolated me from my family and my friends. Chan and Hannie try to reach out to me,, but I have ignore them. She...She goes through my phone, and if I am not putting my whole focus on her, she gets angry. I don't even talk to my sister or mom as frequently as I used to." He answers your question and then sighs. He looks so vulnerable right now, and that made your heart clench. "It also doesn't help I am a man and she is a woman...I guess it is a cruel way for her to show me I'm hers and she's mine."

You nod in understanding and then ask a follow-up question. "Are the people that were in your life ones to judge you? From what you've told me about them, they seem like nice people."

"They are." A small smile grows on his face, which you are happy to see. "They are wonderful people, it's just my girlfriend. She has planted in my head a seed of doubt. She always tells me after she slaps me, no one would ever believe me because of how I look and whatnot."

"I understand that completely, Changbin." You give him a sympathetic smile. His situation really did sound similar to yours. Before you can speak further, he asks you the same question.

"What about you? Have you told anyone?"

"No, I haven't for almost the same reasons as you. I know my friends and family wouldn't judge me for what my boyfriend does to me. Yet my warped, irrational thoughts keep telling me I can't because... what? I essentially say yes... I'm consenting, right?" Your voice wavers, sounding unsure. "That's what he tells me after a particularly rough session. I've grown tired of it. I'm tired of feeling used, polluted, and rotten."

"I'm sorry you're going through all that, (Y/N)."

"I'm sorry your girlfriend treats you that way, Changbin. You don't deserve to be belittled, harmed or kept from your friends and family."

"You don't deserve the treatment you get either." He adds. "You shouldn't feel forced or threatened to have sex. You shouldn't feel used by the person your with."

It was silent again. You feel tears burn your eyes, and when you glance at him, you see his eyes are to the brim with tears, too. You've grown adverse to touch now, but you craved something softer than what your partner puts you through. You place your hand on the bench, palm to the sky, and look at him. You invite him in as your choice and let him choose to reciprocate.

Changbin slowly brought his hand close to yours. He carefully intertwined his fingers, taking his time when he felt you tense. He gently squeezes your hand, and slowly, you relax. It was nice, just holding a person's hand like that. Changbin's hand is calloused, yet it is soft and comforting to you.

"Why did you tell me?" He questions you with curiosity in his voice.

"Because I could tell when we first met we are both going through similar things. I figured I could trust you to not tell and you would understand the most. I'm sorry if that comes off assumptious but... I really like talking to you. You've made me look forward to something again."

"I'm glad. And feel the same. Seeing you after fights with my girlfriend has made life feel... lighter." He nods, and while his smile isn't quite like his usual one, it is still lovely to see. "I think I want to talk to my friends again."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I miss them and having a friend like you has been nice." He swallows thickly. "After talking to you about the shit I've gone through... I think I'm going to try to break up with her. Our situations are so similar and if I can't stand you being with your boyfriend, I know I need to break up with her... I want to tell Chan and Han why I cut ties with them and I want to talk to my mom and sister again. I don't want to be like this anymore."

"I believe in you, Changbin." You smile and squeeze his hand.

"I believe in you too." He says back, making you tense a little. "I'm-I'm not telling you to do what I'm doing because I know how hard it is. I'm just saying in case you do because I hate seeing you walk with a limp, in pain, and hurt from someone forcing you into those situations. I hope that my taking the steps I am taking will help you take the same steps as well."

Changbin's little speech left you unable to say anything for a moment. Deep down, you've been thinking of cutting ties with your partner and ending whatever he and you are. You take a deep breath and nod.

"Yeah..." You say slowly. "I have thought of leaving him, I've just been scared. I'm scared of his threats becoming true but I can't keep living like this. I can't keep feeling the way I have been or it's going to kill me one way or another."

"I believe in you." He repeats with conviction in his voice.

"I believe in us."

----

A few weeks passed since that day you and Changbin had that talk. You both helped each other plan how you'll both leave your respective relationships. You and Changbin were feeling really motivated by the build-up of this week, both by each other and because you both got back in contact with friends and family.

You had a bit of pep in your step despite being bundled up due to the cold air. Two days earlier, on Thursday, you called your partner over and cut ties. For the first time in a long time, your Saturday didn't start with dread and disgust.

When you got to the park, you felt your heart drop. A chain link fence covered with tarps surrounds the small, run-down park you've come to find comfort in. You quickly walk around and see Changbin looking at a sign hanging on the fence.

"What's happened?" You ask as you approach, glancing over the sign and then back to Changbin.

"Looks like the city is finally putting some attention on the park and they'll be keeping it closed off for a few months to fix it up completely." He answers and points to the date it is supposed to reopen. "I'm glad they are finally doing something but I already miss it."

"Yeah..." You sigh. You were really looking forward to sitting on that bench with him.

"But hey, let's get out of the cold and grab something warm to drink across the street." He seemed excited, which makes you chuckle.

"Lead the way." You see him reach out to hold on and guide you, but he stops mid-motion and gestures for you to follow him to the café across the road. You appreciated him not touching you when you've become so touch-versed.

You both order something warm and sit at a nearby table with your drinks. Just by feeling the cup, you knew it was too hot to drink, so you let it cool for a moment. When you meet Changbin's eyes, you see a much happier expression.

"I left her yesterday." He speaks in a low tone. He bites his bottom lip as if to contain his smile, his fingers tap against the mug of the tea he ordered. "I got in contact with Chan and my sister about leaving her and had them with me in case she got violent. They really helped me through the ordeal."

"That's great, Changbin." You grin and place your hand on the table. He looks down at it and then to your face. You nod, and he gingerly takes your hand, holding it gently. A feeling that makes your heart flutter. "I'm happy for you."

He gives you a look as if he was asking you how everything went on your end.

"I also cut ties with him." You say, and Changbin seems to smile in relief. "I made sure I had help from my neighbors and my best friend when I called him over on Thursday. The police were called and I've started the process for a restraining order."

"Do you think you're safe?" He looks at you with concern.

"Honestly, it's a little scary, but I think he's just all bark and no bite. I'll be fine." You smile to reassure him, and you squeeze his hand.

"I'm glad then." He grins brightly. He leans back and lifts his mug, gesturing for you to do the same. "To us."

You giggle softly with your own grin. "To us."

You clink your mugs together and take sips from your drinks. You stare at him, and he stares at you with that bright grin. You feel your heart flutter again, and he looks flustered.

You can't deny feelings for Changbin have grown over time. Now that you both were out of your toxic relationships, it seems like they are more prominent the longer you sit with him. And yet, you realize you both just got out of toxic relationships.

"What's on your mind, (Y/N)?" Changbin's voice cuts through your thoughts.

"I'm thinking about us." You reply honestly.

"I'll admit, I am too. But continue, please."

"I was thinking about how much you mean to me now. You're an amazing person who has been through a lot, and I've realized I may have feelings for you." You feel your heart clench at the thought of what else to say right now, but it's necessary. "But..."

"But we both need time to heal from what we've been through."

"Yes- wait." You give him a confused look, which makes him chuckle. You weren't expecting that.

"Just to start, I am feeling the same things you are. And I am glad we both feel the same. But, I know myself, and I know the happiness and excitement I feel now that I'm getting my life back will fade, and I'll be wondering if I did the right thing and coping with what she put me through."

"This makes things easier." You sigh in relief and smile. "I agree. As much as it pains me, but I can already tell I have a lot of work to do for myself... I don't want to jump into a relationship and end up hurting the both of us." He nods in agreement to that. "And I don't want these feelings being tied to all that happened."

You take a long sip from your drink, and so does he. You weren't sure what else to add, but it was a pleasant silence with Changbin. You glance out the window to the fenced-off park. You missed it already.

Changbin squeezes your hand, regaining your attention.

"I have a proposition. Let's spend some time a part. Let's take time to figure ourselves out. On the date the park reopens, let's meet up and see how we are."

You smile at his suggestion, and it warms your heart. "I'd like that."

----

Four months have passed since you ended things with your partner.

After finding the right therapist for you, you begin working on yourself. You needed to move from that apartment. You could hardly step foot or sleep in that bedroom anymore, and you had taken to sleeping on a cheap air mattress in the living room. Thankfully, your lease was almost up, and you managed to find a new place that was affordable. Your friends and therapist have slowly gotten you used to being touched again. You weren't sure how sex would go, but you've gained a neutral perspective on it now. You got back into old hobbies, took up new ones, and made Saturdays a day to be yourself and do what you wanted.

You felt good again about life. You knew you weren't completely okay, but you were much better than how you started. There is probably a part of you that you'll never quite get back, but that's fine. You're healed self can help nurture and support the you that gets terrible anxiety and nightmares, the you that needed softness and love during those months with your ex.

You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and you smile. Your reminder that today's the day the park reopens is boldly on your screen. You checked the time and saw it was close to when you and Changbin would be at that worn bench. You often thought of him but were glad he didn't consume your thoughts. You had some worries that seeing him would make you remember how awful you felt back then, with those feelings being associated with him unintentionally. You pushed those worries away.

You tugged on a sweater as the cold air was still around. You grab your wallet and keys, lock your door, and walk briskly to the park. You caught glimpses between the tarps on the fences, but this would hopefully be the first time you see it complete.

It doesn't take you long to reach the park and you couldn't contain the grin at the sight. You would have thought it was a different park if it weren't for the layout of the now fully visible paths and the playground. You slowly approached the bench and felt your heart swell at the sight. It looks completely new, yet you could easily tell it was the same old park bench refurbished. You sit down on the bench, no longer does it creak, and look at your surroundings. There were kids on the shiny playground, and there even was a small parking lot that you weren't aware of beforehand. The only thing missing was Changbin.

You waited.

And you waited.

It was nearly an hour when you felt it was time to get up. The air was getting colder, and the sky was darkening with clouds. You couldn't be too upset with him. You figured Changbin was living his life to the fullest like he should. That thought made you happy.

You sit up from the park bench with a slight stretch. It is starting to get much too chilly to just be sitting down. You read just your sweater and turn to start walking home. The loud slam of a car door and an all too familiar voice shout your name.

"Wait! I'm here! I didn't forget!" You turn around and smile when you see Changbin nearly sprinting to get to you. You look at the new car in the parking lot and see two men get out of the car and lean against the vehicle.

Changbin comes to a slow halt in front of you and takes a moment to recover his breath. You see your favorite flowers in a small bundle in his hand, and you can't help but grin with your face growing warm. You look him over and see how different he was from before. His eyes looked much happier now, and from what you can tell, he has bulked up his muscles beneath the jacket.

"I-I'm sorry. I totally was going to be here earlier." He explains. "But I lost track of time making music with my friends."

"You're making music again?" You raise a brow and give him a proud look.

He chuckles and looks at you brightly. "Yeah. Chan, Han, and I are going to be releasing an album soon."

"Well I'll make sure to buy one and have you guys sign it." A cheeky, teasing smile grows on your face.

"Oh, here." Changbin hands you the flowers. "I remember you saying that is your favorite. You... You look lovely by the way."

"Thank you, you do too. I wish I brought something to give you-"

"No need at all, (Y/N). The only thing I needed from you today is to see if you're doing well." He gives you a look, and you can tell he hopes you will respond with an answer.

"I am. I moved to a new place and have been making progress on myself. Have you been well?"

"Oh yeah, I have." He grins, that beautiful grin you fell for all those months ago. "Like I said, I'm making music again with my best friends and have been sticking to my gym routine. I've been doing good."

You open your mouth to speak when you feel a few droplets of rain hit your face. Both you and Changbin curse.

"Shit, I didn't bring a sweater with a hood." You place your hands over your head.

"Here, let me." Changbin took his jacket off and lifted it over his head. He stepped incredibly close to you and held it over the both of you with a sweet smile. His smile drops, though, when he realizes the proximity. "Oh, god. I'm so sorry-"

"Shh. You're fine, Changbin. I can handle this. Plus I trust you."

"You do?"

"Of course."

"Do you... still feel those same feelings like before?" His voice is soft, and his eyes are hopeful. Your eyes scan over his face. Even in this short time reunited, you felt those familiar feelings except for the anxiety. Any negative connotation you feared wasn't there at all.

"Not all. I feel the familiar feeling of butterflies in my stomach, fondness, and love when I see you." You reply with a gentle tone. "To be honest, I worried I may remember the negative feelings I had during the time when I saw you. But I don't. I just see you, a sweet and funny guy I fell for."

"I'm glad." He beams. "Because I am feeling the same way. The second I saw you when I pulled up the park, I could feel butterflies in my stomach. But let's continue this conversation in a dry environment. I'm sure we have lots to discuss."

"What about your friends?"

"Channie can drop us off wherever." He chuckles and tilts his head in a gesture to follow him. You both walk side by side to the vehicle he arrived in, Chan and Han already inside. You get in first in the backseat, and Changbin quickly follows, the car already on and warm inside.

"Hey, it's finally nice to meet you. I'm Bang Chan." He turns from the driver's seat to wave at you. You see, he has dyed blonde hair with a slight wave.

"And I'm Jisung, but you can call me Han." The other greets you from the front passenger. He has a cute, gummy smile and dark hair.

"So, what's the plan now?" Chan asks, looking from you to Changbin.

"Oh, let's all grab dinner!" Han grins. You don't miss the look Chan gives him, which makes you chuckle. You glance at Changbin and see how he is laughing, too.

"I'd be fine with that." You shrug. "I think it would be fun getting to know your friends."

"They are a handful." He warns with a playful tone.

"Hey, more like you and Hannie are the handful for me." Chan says with mock offense. A fake argument broke out between the three of them, making you laugh loudly. You haven't felt yourself laugh like that in a long while.

Ultimately, the four of you sit in a small yet busy restaurant near the park. The three of them were certainly entertaining together, and you were glad to see Changbin having fun and being relaxed. He's not the same man who stayed behind a protective wall, who tensed when someone yelled too loudly. His handsome face doesn't adorn a recurring slap or cut. You couldn't help but smile as you watched him and Chan joke around.

"Excuse me, gotta use the restroom." Han gets up from the table, and so does Changbin.

"Me too." He adds, and you watch as the two of them head deeper into the restaurant, leaving you and Chan.

"Hey, (Y/N)?" His voice is soft when he calls you.

"Yes, Chan?" You look at him and tilt your head, noting the kind expression he had.

"I just wanted to thank you for helping Changbin out."

"Oh, I didn't do anything. He's the one that's put in the work."

"That's true, he worked on himself a lot." He cuts you off with a knowing look. "But according to Changbin, if you hadn't listened to him that day, he wouldn't have called Hannie and me over. He never told us any details, but he did say you were the first person he opened up to about what his ex put him through and you understanding him helped push him to jump over the doubt he felt."

You feel yourself tear up a little, and Chan keeps speaking.

"So please, accept mine and Han's thank you, (Y/N), for helping our friend and helping him get mostly back to his old self." He smiles at you and hands you a clean napkin as a tear falls from your eye.

"Thanks." You chuckle with a sniffle. You dab away the tears and calm yourself before Changbin and Han return.

----

"Wow, you really do have a lot of plants." Changbin chuckles as he steps inside your apartment. He follows your lead and slips off his shoes before further walking around. He looks around at your place with amazement.

"Yeah, they helped make me somewhat like my old place before." You laugh a little. "Do you need something to drink before we talk?"

"Water, please." You nod at his request and gesture for him to sit on your couch. You are quick to get him and yourself water.

After dinner with his friends, you offered to talk to Changbin alone at your place. There was a residual fear of bringing a man to your home, but you reassured yourself. This is Changbin. He respects your boundaries and waits for you to initiate contact. If you told him to never touch you, you could trust that he wouldn't.

You set down a glass for each of you on the coffee table and sit near him on your couch. You curl your legs partially underneath yourself as you angle your body to face him properly.

"So, you wanted to talk more?" You question him.

"Ah, yes." He chuckles, seeming a little nervous. "So, you still have feelings for me."

"I do."

"And how are you feeling all around? If you're comfortable to tell me."

"Well..." You lean over and pick up your glass of water. You take a long sip before sitting down. "I'm much better than I was four months ago. I moved to this place, which helped a lot. I couldn't stomach being in my old bedroom. I've been seeing a therapist who's given me a lot of skills which has helped me not be anxious. They and my friends have also helped me get exposed and used to touch again. I have bad nights and nightmares, but they aren't as frequent as they were at the start. What about you, Changbin?"

"I'm doing good. Making music and working out on the schedule I want to follow definitely kept me going." He nods. "I have a habit of overly apologizing at times, but thankfully my friends and family help keep me aware of it. I experience occasional nightmares but they are manageable. Overall, I am feeling like I how did before that relationship."

"I can tell." You smile softly. "At dinner with your friends, you were relaxed and having a good time. I enjoy seeing you smile, Changbin. You have such a nice smile."

"Oh, thanks." He has a bashful smile, and you can see faint pink dust on his cheeks. He looks down at his hands and glances at your face. "You too, (Y/N). You also have a lovely smile. I saw how you were laughing at a joke Hannie said, and I couldn't help but stare. Chan had to tap me under the table so you wouldn't catch me."

"That's adorable." You laugh softly and stare at him. There is a pause between you both now, Changbin returning your stare. You place your hand on the couch with your palm up, and he tentatively intertwines his fingers. "What... What do you want to do about us?"

"I'd like to be in a relationship with you, (Y/N)." He is blunt, but his expression and tone are still soft.

"I should warn you... I haven't exactly been intimate since everything happened. I am good with light touches and hugs, but I don't know how I will be with anything more, if that changes anything for you."

"It doesn't." He says firmly, giving your hand a squeeze. "We can take things one step at a time, at a pace you'll be comfortable, okay? Does that sound good to you?"

You look over his face and at the sincerity his dark eyes hold. It makes your heart melt at the kindness he is showing you. The kindness you've come to realize you deserve. And he deserves the same kindness back.

"It does, thank you for being understanding, Changbin. It applies to you too, you know? We can take those steps together."

"Thank you too." He smiles. You scoot a little closer, and so does he. "Why don't we make right now a date?"

You grin. "I have ice cream in the freezer. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"With you? I'd love to."

---

You feel your eyes droop as you struggle to stay awake. The movie was nearing its end; empty bowls with remnants of ice cream sat on your coffee table. You felt proud of yourself for being comfortable in Changbin's presence, but you didn't want to fall asleep around him... You didn't want to miss a second with him.

As the credits roll, you smile as you sit up from the couch to stretch your arms above your head. You glance out one of your windows and look at the time; it isn't too late into the evening to be concerned, but you know he wants to be up early tomorrow to go to the gym.

"Do you need a ride home? I can give you one."

"Chan already agreed to come get me, honey." He smiles, then it drops. "Oh, sorry, we didn't discuss calling each other pet names. It-It just came natural to me."

"Hey, don't worry, okay?" You say softly to soothe him with a kind smile. "I like it. It's cute. Just don't call me doll okay? That's what he'd call me. Are there pet names you don't want me to call you?"

"Don't call me baby is all I ask." He wears a grateful expression.

"Of course. I think I'll call you honey too." You chuckle. "Because you are just as sweet."

"Oh, stop." He says with a flustered expression accompanied by a smile. His phone dings, and he clears his throat. "Ah, looks like Channie is here." There is a hint of disappointment in his voice.

You walk to the door with him and watch him put on his shoes. You open the door, and he steps out into the cool night air before turning around with a smile on his face.

"You know, I just realized... we never swapped numbers. I was scared of my ex seeing your number in my contacts." He pulls out his cell phone, tapping the screen a few times before handing it to you. You smile and gently take his phone. You put your contact information in and give him back his phone. "Let's plan for a date soon, okay?"

"Let's do that then, honey." You smile when you see his face blush again. It made you feel warm and adventurous. "Changbin?"

"Yes?"

"Can... Can you kiss me goodbye?"

You see his eyes widen a little. He opens his mouth as if to say something but holds his tongue. Instead, he smiles softly at you and nods.

"Of course."

"Wait, what were you going to say? Please, feel honest with me."

"I was going to ask if you were sure, but I trust that you know you want to take this step." His words make your heart flutter.

"I appreciate that."

He takes a step closer to you and gives you a look as if he is asking permission to touch you. You give him a nod and suck in a slow breath when you feel his warm and calloused hand caress your cheek. He leans in closer, and you watch as he presses his lips to yours. Your eyes flutter close, breath hitching at the sensation. Your body's instincts tense, half expecting pain to follow.

But the kiss was just that. A simple yet sweet kiss that didn't make you cry.

Another ding is heard from Changbin's phone, making you both chuckle and step away from each other.

"I'll text you when I'm home. We can discuss date plans. Talk to you soon."

"Get home safely, honey." You giggle at his flushed face and smile.

"I will, honey." He laughs and gives you a longing look before he heads over to where Chan's car is. You watch until he is in the car, and they take off before closing the door.

You feel different with Changbin. You don't feel weighed down by guilt and self-loathing. You don't feel disgusted with yourself, nor do you blame yourself for anything.

You don't feel the heavy, polluted feeling you did before.

You feel that softness and love you deserve.

[daceydeath]

Hierarchy (Part 9)

Heirachy: a system, especially in a society or organization, in which people are organized into different levels of importance from highest to lowest.

Pairing: Mafia Changbin x Reader Word Count: 6.7k Genre: Mafia AU, friends to lovers, slow burn Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, swearing, mafia violence, death threats, guns, dubious intentions, criminal activity, guns, blood, fighting

🚨Trigger Warning: Attempted Assault of a sexual nature does occur in the chapter against the reader. If you are at all sensitive to this topic I would suggest that you skip this chapter entirely. I am happy to tell you what happens in the chapter via message so you don't miss any of the story so that you can avoid any content that may cause you any form of upset, trauma or pain. Caution is advised.

You have always been utterly uninteresting, safely boring as close. You had a normal job, normal friends and the sweetest bestie on the planet but now everything is upside down and that best friend of yours is far more dangerous than you could have ever imagined.

All Changbin could hear was the blood rushing in his ears after you told him you had been with Felix, you had said you had kissed him but he knew Felix and you were close so he was sure you actually meant you had let him fuck you. He wasn't sure what whether he was angry or hurt and he wasn't sure if it was by you or by Felix but either way Felix was going to pay for it. Slamming the meeting room door open the noise from it bouncing off the wall surprising not only Felix but Chan, Minho and Hyunjin who were talking about other business while Felix frowned his phone to his ear.

"Changbin!" Chan yelled noticing how furious and deathly calm he looked.

"You are fucking dead" he growled lowly ignoring Chan completely as he crossed the room faster than they obviously expected except Felix who hadn't moved but had hung up the phone.

"Binnie, man I can explain it's not whatever you are thinking" Felix explained calmly raising his hands in surrender.

"You fucked my girl you cunt, you fucked her right under my nose you fucking bastard" he glared icily the veins on his neck straining against his skin. "You took advantage of her you piece of shit" Changbin was still the picture of cold calmness as he pulled his hand gun and at point blank range aimed between the younger mans eyes.

The whole house had heard the commotion at this point because the others came running to see what the fuck was going on except Han who already knew and had high tailed it outside to where he knew you had gone with Changbin not too long ago. Hyunjin say nervously wide eyed as Jeongin and Seungmin stood behind the couches at a good distance and even Minho looked apprehensive. He could feel the palpable fear rolling off his crew it had been a long time since he had played the enforcer roll but it was still as much a part of him as you were.

"Woah, woah, lets maybe talk about this for more than a few seconds" Chan demanded his authority over the others obvious as no one else moved "What are we talking about here?".

"The night we brought her here this piece of shit fucked her" he accused eerily quietly raising his eyebrow to Felix to challenge him on it.

"Felix did you?" Chan rounded on the younger one.

"No boss" Felix quipped quickly his eyes not leaving Changbin's

"Then what the fuck is going on?" Chan snarled looking between the two.

"I'm going to kill Felix that's what is going on" he ground out the rage still flowing in his blood like poison.

"Go on then" Felix egged him on eyes hard as he watched his best friends eyes burn "She wouldn't ever forgive you if you did she would be out of here and your life forever, but still take your shot man". The room stopped even Chan was holding his breath waiting for him to make his decision.

"Princess?" he called jogging around the gardens looking for where ever you might have stopped with Changbin finding you whimpering as you walked back from the hedge maze, tear stains on your face and shirt.

"Hannie?" you croaked meeting his eyes with your watery ones. "I fucked up"

"Oh princess" he soothed pulling you into his arms to hold you for a moment "we need to get you back inside your two boys are going to kill each other if we don't".

"Did you just hug me?" you spluttered looking at him in slight shock.

"Well yeah, course were friends so I can hug you like Lix can" he grinned looking like at excited child which made you feel slightly better that you had made your cute walk with Bin into a shit show. "But I mean it they are going to kill each other if we don't get back, the big guy is very good at killing people".

"What do you mean?" you muttered as you followed him back to the house in a much more direct way than you had first wandered.

"Didn't he tell you? before all of us were together he was the enforcer he did all the killing because he is good at it, just shuts himself off, no humanity just a killing machine. That changed when Hyun and I came in and together took over for him but he still takes people out whenever Chan asks" he shrugged like he was telling you the upcoming weather forecast not that Bin could murder on command.

"Fuck" you mumbled as you reached the french doors that led into the kitchen, the house was deathly silent which worried you but Han just squeezed your hand and continued towards the meeting room effectively dragging you there. As soon as you entered your heart leapt into your throat Bin was standing only a few feet from Lix with a gun pointing at him while Lix just stared back, the others watching on in silence.

"Just shoot him already big guy or put it down no one cares which one of you has the bigger dick, especially since our princess couldn't verify that anyway" Han groaned plopping down on the couch and putting his feet up like he was watching a movie.

"What did you just say?" he growled again not even bothering to look at Han.

"I said our princess wouldn't be able to confirm which dick is bigger, because she doesn't. I would know I walked in on them and I would have asked to join in if there was any real fun to be had" he sighed dramatically like it was all a giant joke "Isn't that right princess?"

"Changbin?" you whispered since the air that had been punched out of your lungs by the sight in front of you making it impossible for you to be able to actually speak Felix's eyes flicked to you momentarily, Bin did something to the gun that made it click and your brain shut down sending you into autopilot. You strode across the room and put yourself between them Bin's gun touching your chest instead.

"If you want to kill Lix you kill me first" you snapped fear and anger mingling and mixing in your blood. Bin lowered his gun in a heartbeat his eyes changing rapidly from rage to horror before filling with tears.

"Doll" he gasped dropping the pistol to the floor which Chan dived to get before anyone changed their minds.

"Seo Changbin you are a fucking arsehole" you continued voice shaking "I kissed Felix, I started it he asked me a dozen times if I was sure" you swallowed hard knowing you were airing this in front of everyone "You hadn't told me you loved me, you hadn't don anything but yell at me, telling me you killed people and I was fucking terrified, Felix did nothing wrong so you want to take this out on someone then take it out on me not him. I won't let you hurt my friend or yours" no one said anything until Felix stood from behind you.

"Bubs never, ever stand in front of a gun without its safety on again! You scared the shit out of me just now" He exhaled his hand on your shoulder squeezing comfortingly.

"Sorry Felix" you mumbled "I should just let him shoot you next time?" the adrenaline in your system keeping you from crumbling.

"He wasn't going to shoot me" Felix sighed.

"Well not fatally anyway" Changbin grumbled making Felix look horrified "Hey I wasn't going to actually kill you unless you admitted to it"

"Fucking dramatic arseholes" Minho groaned pinching his nose, the others instantly relaxing.

"That was incredibly dangerous though little one, Lix is right never walk in front of a loaded gun" Chan scolded you. You didn't answer, you couldn't not when you just saw the man who swore to keep you safe turn into the very thing you feared most in that moment. Instead you just fled out of the meeting room blindly and up to the room that you had been given locking the door behind you so that no one could get in.

The day slowly passed and you hadn't answered when Changbin pleaded with you to let him in or when Felix came to check on you apologizing through the door, you had totally ignored Chan and Minho too when they asked you to come out to eat something it was only when your phone started ringing did you realize that Changbin was probably camped outside your door calling you repeatedly which just made you turn your phone to silent determined to not give him the time of day. Mrs Choi had knocked to deliver you some dinner to your room shooing Changbin or whoever was in the hallway away while she made sure you took the food.

Falling asleep after dinner meant you were awake again by three in the morning you could hear what you assumed to be Changbin snoring on the other side of your door and when you checked your phone you had multiple messages from each of them Hyunjin checking if you needed anything but made no attempt to coax you out, Jeongin begged you to come out just to stop the constant whining from Changbin but you only really read the single line message that had been sent by Han

"He's in love with you he just wants to protect that love"

You read it over and over again, you hadn't stopped to really think about the whole scenario you were too terrified that your boyfriend had pointed a gun at another friend and you had tried to stop it from escalating. You didn't think about the gun, you knew Changbin wasn't going to hurt you, but you never thought that violence between them would happen either. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe although you did love him that wasn't enough for you to not have to worry you would set him off and someone else would have to pay the consequences. If you hadn't run out of tears already you would have broken down when the realization that you would have to walk away from two men you loved and the friends of theirs that you had grown fond of, maybe moving to another city would do or maybe your would have to move back to a rural town and find away to survive. There was no other answer your tired mind could come up with.

When morning finally came around you looked terrible but you hoped a hot shower and make up could at least mask some of the obvious signs that you were broken, even if the feeling did compliment the whole cover of a family emergency. You dressed yourself for work in your standard pencil skirt suit and fixed yourself up before slowly opening the door and after double checking that the coast was clear quietly making your way down stairs.

"She has every right to be angry, hurt, terrified or all of the above" you heard Minho grumble as you made your way towards the kitchen.

"I know" Changbin groaned frustratedly "I fucked it up on a massive fucking scale I know that, but I can't change it now can I?" he sounded annoyed and tired which made you feel nervous.

"No you can't and if she wants to leave after this is done you have to let her" Chan snapped "both of you" his words were harsh and he sounded aggravated which caused even more panic to fly through your system.

"Or we could just let her collect her thoughts" Jeongin suggested softly you could almost picture the soothing expression on his face "You, Felix and probably Chan scared her yesterday and that probably has shaken her more than anything she has been through so far".

"He has a point" Hyunjin interjected "she was scared of bad guys who were trying to hurt the both of you and yesterday you two became the bad guys when you decided that airing your dirty laundry needed to be done in front of all of us".

"She would be so embarrassed that we all know she made out with Lix, let alone that she had to admit it" Minho finished "Which was super fucking stupid on your part by the way".

"I know" you heard Felix sighed he sounded almost as defeated as you felt and if you hadn't been so scared of the anger in the room or how much you were sure leaving was the best idea you would have run in to comfort him "We fucked everything up".

You took a deep breath to center yourself before you silently entered the kitchen surprising them as you easily walked past them all wordlessly made yourself a coffee.

"Doll?" Changbin questioned hopefully, but you ignored him hoping they would all get the hint that you were going to remain silent.

"Bubs?" Felix sighed and you ignored him too just pouring milk into your coffee before turning back towards the door.

"Baby, please" Changbin tried again his hand reaching for your arm making you flinch away slightly his eyes widening.

"Please don't touch me" you almost whimpered your voice scratchy from not yet being used as you stepped back from him.

"Doll, you can't be afraid of me, it's me" he mumbled looking genuinely pained by your reaction.

"Don't, please, just don't I can't deal with this right now" you whispered you were almost as scared now as you had been the very first night you had been brought to the company with him, your brave knight in shining armor who would move mountains to protect you. But now you had seen what he could be right in front of you it frightened you, but it terrified you more to know you still wanted him regardless. His arm dropped in defeat as you scurried out of the kitchen to sit somewhere else in the house until the time came for you to leave. No one in the kitchen spoke, Felix hung his head while Hyunjin sighed in sadness, the others looking between each other for some sort of idea of what to say.

"How do we make this plan work if she is too scared to even speak" Minho mused not really ready to face the seemingly obvious pain that was going to come from ending this whole mess.

"I'll be right back" Han shrugged leaving them after he had managed to stay silent through everything so far.

"Whatever Han, we have to think how to reorganize things if she is going to not be able to go through with this" Jeongin nodded trying to come up with a new plan.

"There you are princess" Han smiled brightly if not slightly insanely at you coming over to sit on the staircase with you "you still going to be able to do this?"

"I just want this over with Han" you admitted quietly sipping the coffee you had made yourself.

"I saw you read my message" he continued smiling.

"I did I read it a lot of times to be honest" you admitted putting your mug down beside you "I know he loves me but it's one thing for me to know it's a whole other thing for me to see it".

"He scared you that badly after everything you have been through since you got here? I thought you were tougher than that?" he teased sweetly almost gently.

"I was scared he would hurt Felix, I was scared he would get hurt, I was scared of what you guys do" you explained chewing your lip "But I'm terrified that I am alright with it, that I might be able to love him regardless of the pain and chaos he might inflict of others". You looked at Han who far too pleased with your admission and it just clicked that maybe the fear was a sign that you should run but that you didn't have to.

"Love is meant to frighten you princess that's what makes it fun" He grinned giddily.

"Has anyone told you lately you're actually very philosophical for a madman?" you sighed checking your phone and standing up.

"Not today but I'm glad you noticed princess" he waggled his eyebrows at you suggestively making you snort. "Let's go get the big guy it's time to be that bad arse mafia queen you are meant to be" his eyes sparked as he led you back to the kitchen where the others were still trying to figure out how to make this work for you.

"Changbin, we need to leave I can't be late the first day back to work" You announced to the group breaking your silence with them.

"Are you sure little one?" Chan questioned cautiously "We don't have to do this you can stay here another day if that would help".

"I want this over with Chan" you smiled as believably as possible at him "I want to go back to having a normal life".

"Are you sure you want that?" Bin asked you softly still aware you were upset since you used his name and not a nickname but you totally missed the inference he was making to you about whether you wanted the life you had before of the life you could have with him.

"Yes" you nodded noting the pained expression on some of their faces but you didn't understand the reason for it other than you were about to put yourself in danger.

"Let's go baby" he whispered leaving the kitchen quickly as you hurried to keep up with him scooping up your shoes on the way past the staircase.

Changbin drove silently for the first few minutes he seemed to be struggling to find the words to tell you he was sorry or what he was thinking when it all went wrong yesterday but you didn't mind you were still trying to figure out what you wanted to say back.

"Binnie" you finally squeaked "Are you all sure I'll be ok today?" you tried to keep your voice even so you didn't worry him more than he already was.

"Baby you will be fine" he breathed out seeming to relax slightly "We are all either nearby or watching, there are guys inside to help you and you have our numbers to call us if you need to" he soothed tentatively reached his hand over to put on your thigh, which you allowed you were still having too many emotions to think about the incident yesterday.

"Binnie, we will need to talk about what happened but I can't right now it's too much" you whispered looking down at his hand cautiously putting your own on top of it "But I need you to play my boyfriend today so that I can get through this bit".

"I am your boyfriend baby, I don't need to pretend" he smiled you turned to watch him as he continued to watch the road his lips quirking up when he felt your gaze on him. "When we pull up I will go round to open your door, the whole point of this is to draw attention, women will notice a gentleman helping his girl from the car and kissing her goodbye, men will notice the car either way there are a lot of witnesses who will remember your arrival if anything was to happen". You nodded understanding that

He pulled up in front of your office a just slightly before when you would normally arrive, getting out to walk his way around the car to help you out of your side. You could see the businessmen all taking looks at the cars some younger ones even stopping to get a proper look at it. Letting go of your hand he helped you into your blazer then pulled you to him to kiss you goodbye, it was supposed to be a peck but Bin poured his love into his kiss showing you exactly how he felt.

"I'll pick you up for lunch baby" he smirked noticing your slightly flushed face "Now be brave baby you have work to do".

Walking through the lobby you noticed the guy Seungmin had planted standing next to the desk you assumed that it gave him the best scope for the room but either way you knew where he was. You met a few of the usual interns at the elevators and took them up together chatting and talking about everyone's weekends before you got to your floor. Your desk looked exactly like it did the day you had left over a week ago with the exception of a neat stack of files that the director was going to need for his meetings today, you flicked through quickly to make sure they matched the diary and noticed that the appointment before lunch was Mr A which made blanch slightly.

"Good Morning miss" a friendly voice spoke from behind you.

"Oh good morning" you chirped politely turning around to come face to face with another of Seungmin's men making you smile in relief "Have you been interning long?".

"My second week miss but I'm hoping to learn from you, everyone says you are the most valuable of the assistants here" he smiled looking at the files on your desk.

"Well that is kind of them, has anyone shown you how preparing files for the meetings is done? I have some here that I can show you with" you moved around your desk and gestured for him to follow. "All that needs to be done is that you double check that the correct file has been matched to the correct appointment. As you can see here Director Kim has an appointment with Mr Park at ten this morning and then another with Mr A at eleven" flipping open the file you moved your finger to show him pretend points while he nodded knowingly.

"I'll let the boss know" he whispered as he continued to follow along with your fake instructions.

"Have you been assigned a mentor yet?" you quirked your eyebrow at him.

"Not yet miss" he answered continuing to play the part of a clueless intern.

"I'll find one for you then come back to my desk in an hour and I'll have figured something out for you" he nodded making himself quickly scarce as Director Kim walked into the office eyes pinpointing you instantly.

"Good morning my dear, I'm so glad you are back with me" he purred attempting to take your hand which you filled with the files you were holding.

"Morning Director, I hope you had a lovely weekend, these are this mornings appointments and I can bring you your morning coffee if you like" you smiled politely staying on the opposite side of the desk from him.

"Yes my dear, could you arrange that for me now" he grinned looking at his files. You swallowed hard and nodded your head waiting for him to move to his office before moving from the spot you were in. You made your way to the the kitchen area to prepare his coffee hoping that you looked normal and not like you were trying to hide how disgusted and panicked you were.

"Miss?" another young man's voice turned your attention towards the other side of the kitchen, you recognized him as Seungmin's other insider.

"Good morning" you smiled relieved.

"I am around all day if you need assistance, or any memos to be passed between the departments" he continued to smile at you.

"Thank you, I sent a memo out with another intern I assume that you will have seen it too?" you asked trying to keep us the ruse.

"Yes miss, there is no need to worry we are both here" he nodded goodbye and left you to finish making coffee.

You took your time making the coffee trying to wait until the director was on a phone call or when someone else was in his office but you realized it would look strange if you didn't behave normally so you had to suck it up and pretend you were the girl you were a month ago when there was no fear, no threat and no boyfriend in the mafia. Walking the tray to the door you knocked once before letting yourself in, you purposely left the door open as you delivered the coffee and a pastry. Before anything could be said his phone rang making him look slightly annoyed before you took your leave quickly shutting the door behind you. If this was all you would have to do for the rest of the work day you could definately do that.

The rest of the morning at least ran smoothly despite your planted intern not being able to return to you, you had passed a dozen calls to the Director meaning you spent no time with him and when his first appointment arrived you were quite happy to go down a retrieve him from the ground floor waiting area, you were growing more confident that the day would run smoothly, until you noticed that both of Suengmin's people had been asked to assist other team members just before the appointment you had been dreading was due to start.

Mr A, or Mingi as you learned was his real name from Chan, had entered the office just before his 'appointment' with Director Kim he never waited like any of the legitimate clients did in the lounge which normally annoyed you but under the current circumstances you were pleased that you didn't have to be alone with him while you brought him upstairs to the offices. You had tried your hardest to not feel frightened instead channeling all the anger you possibly could into acting out that your were completely normal as so far it seemed to be working as Mingi passed your desk he smirked at you and winked making you raise your eyebrow and turn away from him which you knew he could be offended by but you didn't care in ninety minutes you would be back with Binnie and hopefully Mingi would be very far away from you. You heard the door close and turned back to your desk looking for your phone just in case you needed it to update Bin or the others about what was going on. Your desk phone chimed letting you know that you were required by Director Kim, feeling the bile rise in your throat you took a deep breath picking up your phone, notepad and pen and going into his office, nothing was going to happen after all you had two back ups in your office and one downstairs you would be fine.

"There you are pet" your boss purred smiling as you stepped into his office.

"Apologies, Director" you smiled knowing that it probably didn't reach your eyes so you lowered your head to cover it.

"No need for that my dearest, Mr A and I just need you to take a few notes regarding his file, please sit" he gestured for you to sit beside Mr A  on the lounge suit that he often used for meetings. Your blood ran cold as you sat realizing too slowly that you were now in the furthest spot from the door.

"Your assistant is very beautiful, Kim, are you sure you still want to do this the risk has increased" Mingi smirked his voice making your skin crawl as he lent closer to you inspecting you face and chest. He raised his hand to move a lock of hair that had come lose from your hair pin. You tried your hardest not to flinch not wanting to show how disgusted you felt.

"She is isn't she, that is why I was willing to risk so much" Kim smirked in return his eyes racking over your form making you feel dread as you tried to subtly unlock your phone to get help.

"No phones" Mingi snapped nastily snatching the device from you and making you shrink back from him.

"Now now there is no need for any annoyance Mr A, she is a very good girl" Kim leered at you his eyes seeming to zero in on you thighs which made you shuffle back into the seat further.

"I understand but my associates have not been so happy with this arrangement now that they know who she is" Mingi sighed leaning back on the chair watching you closely as your face continued to pale. You knew you were in huge trouble now and the only hope was that Felix could see what was happening on the cameras or that Seungmin's guys would realize you were missing. " They can't see you I had the camera disabled sweetheart, and that little intern they planted yesterday has been dealt with for the moment".

"What" you gasped horrified that perhaps you were totally alone now.

"Why does that matter, once she's carrying my child her pathetic little criminal boyfriend wont want her anyway" Kim grinned disgustingly making you try to make for the door as fast as you could. But Mingi was faster than you, catching your waist before you could even get half way to the door.

"No! Don't touch me!" you struggled against him uselessly for a moment before understanding that he was far too strong for a simply struggling to work now that your back was pressed against his chest.

"Now, now none of this, its time you behave yourself and let my uncle fuck that baby into you" he growled into your ear, his hands sliding down to your hips. You wanted to vomit but you knew you had to keep your head to get yourself out into the main part of the office. You were frozen as his hands traveled lower down your legs pulling the fabric of the skirt up until it reached almost the top of your thighs. "I can't wait to watch your pretty little pussy take my uncle's cock, maybe he will even let me fuck you afterwards since you caused us so much trouble".

"Don't please don't" you sobbed as Mingi manhandled you over to the desk pulling your skirt all the way up to your waist to expose your underwear. You grit your teeth knowing you needed to keep you head, you had to get out now no matter the cost. Mingi moved to the side of you groping your arse roughly as he grinned sadistically.

"Come on uncle, I want to see a show after everything we have put up with to get her here" he sneered down at your now tear streaked face. You could hear a belt buckle being undone and knew it was now or never.

"Fuck you Mingi" you snapped viciously yanking your arm closer to your face and biting down on his hand until you could taste blood. Mingi swore letting go of you for a moment which you used to smack him as violently as you could in the abdomen with the heaviest thing you could reach on the desk before pushing yourself up and running to wrench open the door and fleeing blindly as you attempted to get your skirt down your legs.

"You little bitch" Mingi shouted after you "I'll fucking kill you".

You had lost one shoe in the struggle in the office so you slipped out of your remaining shoe and ran as fast as you could to the stairs, with Mingi following you you were never going to be able to wait for the lift he would catch you and you would rather fall down a flight of stairs then let that happen.

"FUCK" Felix yelled as his screens started blacking out in certain sections of your office, hitting speed dial Changbin picked up instantly.

"Bin you need to get in there now something is wrong" he instructed before hanging up and dialing Chan who was on standby near your office with Han and Minho.

"Felix?" Chan answered quickly.

"I'm losing screens Mingi knows were watching" he explained rapidly "They must have made that we were inside the office".

"Were leaving now" Chan called to the others before speaking to him again "Bin?".

"I called him first" Felix swallowed hard before hanging up.

"What's happening?" Jeongin asked walking into the meeting room to see what Felix was so angry about.

"They know we have eyes inside we need Seungmin to contact his guys I've sent the others already" Felix growled trying to reinstate his connection to your office's security feed.

"On it, she'll be fine though man she's tough" Jeongin tried to calm his brother while calling Seungmin to explain.

Changbin had arrived at your building to find people milling around everywhere after an apparent 'evacuation drill' that no one had known was happening. He figured out quickly that you were not among the others from your floor so you must still be inside which in all honesty made him start to panic. Seungmin arrived a moment later a look of thunderous anger splashed across his face.

"My guys have just located one of my guys inside, we need to get in there" He snarled his eyes burning.

"Chan and the others will be here in a few should we start looking from the ground up or split up" he growled making his way through the employees to the main doors where they entered despite the regular securities protests.

"I still have two guys inside so they better have sorted this out" Seungmin barked in reply now looking almost as worried as angry.

"Where is the third one anyway?" he asked pulling his gun and stalking further into the building.

"Half dead. They put two in him but only hit one lung and his stomach" Seungmin answered looking desolate.

"Fuck, at least he's alive which is far more than what Mingi will be after this" he growled his anger growing with each step they took through the empty lobby. The lift doors dinged and opened revealing the security guard plant and Director Kim who was being led away towards the back entrance to the car park giving hushed instructions he thought would help him.

"Bin keep your cool we need to find your girl first" Seungmin hissed keeping his own weapon concealed behind him as they passed.

"I want to take my time with that piece of shit" he muttered savagely.

You continued through the stair wells hoping that you could somehow beat Mingi to either the ground floor or to somewhere you could lock yourself in until someone discovered you. He was still screaming threats at you from the floor above and his yells were getting closer but each exit you came across was either locked or empty of people so you kept going. You were physically exhausted making it down eleven floors worth of stairs already still hearing Mingi as he rattled door handles and slamming open doors looking for you somewhere above you. That was until you opened the 8th floor and almost fell into Hyunjin's arms making him lower his gun instantly and hold you tight as you began to cry hysterically into his suit jacket finally feeling like you could breathe again.

"Got her" he announced sounding relieved before he noticed how wrecked you looked, your skirt hitched so far up your legs that there was no way you had done it yourself to ease your running and the red marks and blood smeared on your arms. "8th NOW" he snapped heatedly his voice tightening in anger.

"Hyunjin" you garbled out between your body wracking sobs your legs giving way as he bundled you onto his left side in case he still needed to use his weapon.

"Shh princess I'll kill anyone who isn't ours that walks through that door" he soothed as best he could his hand hesitating to help you adjust your clothing as you shook in his arms.

"Hyunjin where is our kitten?" Minho called from the other side of the room making his way towards you as Hyunjin continued to slowly move you back from the door to keep more distance between any potential danger. You were not paying much attention to anything outside the sound of their voices.

"Princess can you hold onto Minho for me? It will be easier to keep you safe that way" his voice was still tight but he was trying to be gentle with you, you nodded letting go of his jacket and letting Minho bundle you up in his jacket and pull you against him. His suit jacket was long enough to cover more of your legs which were still almost completely bare but you couldn't even fix it you were too overwhelmed and emotional to even do that. Banging and yelling started coming from the other side of the stairwell door making you cling even tighter to Minho your knuckles tuning white with how tightly you were gripping his shirt.

"Mingi" you gasped pointing at the door frantically as Chan arrived taking in your messy hair and near catatonic state, he quickly stepped into your field of vision so that you would focus on him slowly approaching you to stroke your hear smoothing it down slightly.

"Hi there little one, your'e safe now" Chan soothed "Bin where the fuck are you?" he asked trying to not sound aggressive into what you realized were ear pieces they were wearing. The stairway door flew open and you hid in Minho's chest rather than see Mingi's face again but instead of his threats you heard the opposite.

"Move and I will make you wish for a quick death cunt" Bin's voice cold and ruthless filtered to your ears.

"Binnie?" you hiccuped, tears still pouring down your face, he stepped over Mingi both Chan and Hyunjin taking over from him, Chan's gun in his face as Hyunjin zip tied his hands behind his back. The blood dripping from his wrist and the pained groan that he emitted made Hyunjin realize why you had blood on your shirt sleeve. Binnie just left them to it not seeming to care as he wrapped both his arms around you and cradled you against his chest.

"I'm here baby, I've got you" he murmured into your hair as he ran his hands over Minho's suit jacket trying to sooth the obvious fear and pain from you.

"Can we go home now?" you whimpered sounding less hysterical than when you had found Hyunjin but still far too panicked and breathy for him to be comfortable moving you yet.

"Did you lose your shoes doll?" Bin whispered looking down at your feet pointedly hoping to get you slightly calmer before he took you to the car. You nodded concentrating hard on his face as you turned to look at him.

"They took my phone" you rasped your throat sore from the crying.

"That alright baby, one of the kids will get it back from you" he spoke carefully as your body started sagging against him your breathing getting lighter again. "I'm going to carry you baby. We need to get you down to the car and away from here alright?" His question was difficult for you to concentrate on so you simply nodded as he moved slowly to lift you up so you were nestled against his chest.

" Minho cover us?" He looked towards his brother who nodded sharply as the tree of you made your way towards the lift. You didn't really notice anything other than the heat radiating off his body as he held you close to him until he opened the passenger door of his car, and he and Minho helped you to get in mutely letting him put your seat belt on you, Minho held your hand while Bin get into the car and got himself situated.

"Look after her Bin, I'll call the doc to treat her when you get home" Minho sighed looking worried for you.

"You know I will" he nodded starting the car and driving away from your office. "I'm sorry for everything baby doll, I'm sorry for yesterday, I'm sorry for today, I'm sorry for this whole stupid plan and I'm sorry that I fuck everything I touch up"

"I love you Bin" you sniffled gripping his hand tightly.

A/N: This chapter was heavier than the others but I think it's necessary for the plot. I appreciate all your comments, reblogs or likes they mean so much to me and keep me writing. Special shout out to @christopher-bangnaldoskzz for helping a bitch out xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz,  @3sriracha, @deakyspuff, @symptoms-of-moonlight, @yoonguurt, @shownus-bebe, @ateexyz, @oiphoebe, @leanimal90, @armystay89,@tangerminie, @septicrebel, @damnyouficc,

[dreamescapeswriting]

[19:24] ~ Seo Changbin [M]

A/N: Yall can blame @spearb1108​ for making me a thirsty ass bitch

Word Count: 1K

Genre: Smut, its just pure smut

Changbins arms were pinned either side of you on the wall caging you against the inside of his grasp as he smirked down at you. 

"You're such a dirty girl aren't you?" You whimpered as his hand came into contact with your ass, he grabbed it roughly and began massaging the skin. He parted your legs with his knee and chuckled as you let out a whimper, you couldn't speak. You had his tie in your mouth tied tightly to act as a sort of gag for you, you'd been at a meal with him and the boys for his birthday and you'd done nothing but tease him. Running his hands up your thigh until he could feel that you had the thinnest piece of black underwear on, you'd been planning it for weeks. It was Changbins birthday so this was all for him, you loved the way he would get annoyed with you and lick his lip before biting it harshly.

"Look at you, practically begging for me to fuck you aren't you." You gave him pleading eyes begging him in silence to at least do something to you that would make you less needy for him. You knew that if you even tried to speak right now it would end badly for you, he wouldn't let you cum and so far nothing had been taken off the table for you yet he was still willing to let you cum. 

"Grind on it," He barked at you, you looked at him with wide eyes wondering what he meant until his knee came into contact with your panty covered dripping pussy - you were so wet the panties had no use even being there anymore but the grinding finally giving you some relief, you let out a long whine as you began grinding down against his clothed knee. He smirked watching as your eyes rolled back when you began rolling your hips on him, he rubbed harder against your clit letting you moan loudly against the tie in your mouth.

"You're lucky I'm in such a good mood tonight." He growled before sucking on your neck, you pushed the tie out of your mouth with your tongue so you could moan out his name properly when his hand dove into your panties. He wasted no time thrusting three fingers into your cunt smirking as he heard the sounds you were making, 

"You're so hot," He chuckled darkly before returning to your neck and sucking harshly on the skin that was exposed to him, his fingers inside of you were curling up inside of you to reach your g-spot with each rough thrust. 

"G-Gonna cum." You warned him looking into his eyes but he ripped his fingers out of you and pushed you down onto your hands and knees without a warning making you scrap the skin of your exposed knees but you didn't dare complain about it. He shoved the dress up to your midsection and gripped your hair in his fist and yanked your neck back so your back was arched deeply slamming himself inside of you. You let out a loud cry as your hands dug into the carpeted floor in front of you rolling your eyes back as you felt every detail of his shaft inside of you, he wasted no time letting you adjust to the angle though. After your constant teasing at the table, he was already on the brink of orgasm slamming in and out of you roughly while he sucked on your neck. 

"You're going to cry out my name for everyone on the street to hear," You nodded desperate for him to let you cum, after having the first one ripped away from you.

"F-Fuck you're like a fucking vice," He grumbled slapping you across the ass sure to leave a mark on your skin as you whimpered clenching around him when his hand came into contact with you.

"Who owns you?!" He growled feeling you getting closer with each thrust of his hips, 

"You are." You whimpered pathetically but it wasn't enough for him, he yanked your hair back burying himself deep inside of you and holding himself right against your g-spot, creating tiny hip thrusts.

"You are! Changin! You own me!" You yelled out eyes wide as you caught sight of the way you looked in the mirror in front of you, your tits were hanging out the top of your dress and he was licking his lips as he stared at you in the mirror. 

"You're going to cum when I tell you too or you're not going to cum at all, understood?!" You couldn't talk, you couldn't think of anything except the way he was thrusting in and out of you roughly. 

"Understood!?" He yelled loudly slapping you across the ass before shoving your chest to the ground and keeping your ass up in the air. 

"YES! Yes!" You cried out tears forming in your eyes from the intensity of the new angle looking at him in the mirror, he looked just as fucked out as you did.

"Good girl," He whispered thrusting in and out of you faster right before he groaned gripping onto your hips and pounding into you. 

"Cum right fucking now," He hissed at you feeling you clench around him, you whimpered feeling his thumb come in to contact with your clit rubbing you in circles, your orgasm ripped through your entire body. Your legs began to shake as white took over your vision, 

"CHANGBIN! F-Fuck! I'm cumming!" You screamed out rolling your hips back as he fucked into you holding you down as he felt you clenching around him, 

"Ugh..Ugh, shit," He groaned filling you up with some of his cum before pulling out and spilling onto your ass, the warm cum soothing the aching from his rough slaps previously. You began panting heavily not bothering to turn over, you didn't have the energy. 

"Good girl," He whispered standing up from the floor, he bent down to pick you up carrying you in the direction of the bathroom to run you a bath, praising you as much as he could.

A/N: So this sucked I’m sorry

Tagline: 

@snowy-meowl​ @jooniesdarlingdimples​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @yunhoesss​ 

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

SKZ DRABBLE-OT8

The one where test grades don't really matter and staring is the only way to communicate.

Or the eighteenth installment of the SKZ!pack prequel series.

Tags: SKZ, Stray Kids, Stay, OT8, SKZ!pack, Skz!abo, poly!skz, omegaverse, pack!prequel, Skz!pack prequel, prequel series, new, update, skz x you, skz x reader, ot8 x you, ot8 x reader, bang chan, lee minho, seo changbin, lee felix, hwang hyunjin, han jisung, kim seungmin, yang jeongin, y/n, skz fluff

Genre: Fluff, Suggestive (It's just a whole mess honestly)

Title: (Diss)tracted

“You’re still thinking about him, huh? The unpresented freshman kid.” 

Changbin’s fingers still on the zipper of your jacket around the point of your navel, the fabric gaping to reveal bare skin, the cool air of your dorm making goosebumps appear on your flesh. 

You sigh and let your head fall back, staring up at the ceiling like it will give you the answers you seek. 

It doesn’t.

“Yeah.” You admit reluctantly, blowing a harsh breath out through your nose, even as Changbin’s fingers begin moving once more, with little more than a grunt of acknowledgement under his breath. “Yeah, I am.” 

You crane your neck to glance down at him and he arches a dark brow at you silently, curious, waiting. 

“Is that weird? It’s weird isn’t it.” 

“It’s not weird.” Felix assures you, his chin jutting into your shoulder, exactly at the same time Changbin replies, “It’s a little fucking weird, yeah.” 

You huff a laugh and let your head fall back onto the bed, and Changbn resumes his previous activities, even as Felix glances at you, chin still resting on your shoulder. 

“Maybe your wolf recognizes something about him that you just haven’t picked up on yet.” He says softly, comfortingly, his breath tickling your ear, as he reaches out to trace a line down your cheek with the tip of his finger. 

Leave it to Felix to try to make you feel better. 

“Maybe.” You admit beneath your breath, not altogether too sure, still distracted, even as the feel of Changbin’s chilled fingers making contact with your bare inner thigh has you sucking in a sharp breath. 

“Fuck, your hands are cold.” You raise your head once more to glare at the other alpha, and he offers you a slight smirk from his position between your thighs. 

He wiggles his fingers at you innocently. “Sorry, baby. But we don’t have all day.” 

“It’s not ideal.” You hiss out between your teeth, clenching up, even though he doesn’t touch you again right away, instead, coasting his lips and his warm breath over the same spot, warming you up again from the inside out. 

“Yeah, well.” He shrugs and sinks back down, his teeth nipping your inner thigh, and you bite your tongue between your teeth at the feel of his sharp canines dragging across your skin. “Know what else is not ideal? You and Felix having your little cathartic therapy session over some unknown freshman while I’m trying to get in the zone.” 

“Please. You’re a young, virile, alpha male. You’re always in the zone.” You scoff and glance back up at the ceiling, tensing as his cold fingers touch you once more, but your body is ready this time, and it makes everything inside of you light up and pulse like he’s just touched a live wire. 

“Touche.” 

You breathe out, nice and slow, as Changbin works with his fingers, and glance sidelong at Felix, who is watching you with bright eyes and a slight smile on his face. 

“What?” You ask hoarsely, leaning over to playfully nip at the skin just beneath his jaw, his pulse fluttering beneath your tongue like a frantic, caged bird. 

He shrugs. “Nothing. Just-” He hesitates and then, “-listen to yourself okay? Your wolf may be onto something.” 

“I-god.” You forget what you’re saying for a moment as Changbin rises between your thighs, grinning down at you triumphantly as you try to catch your breath, his body tense above your own. You manage a half hearted glare in his direction, but the trembling of your body is giving you away. “A little warning next time, dickhead?” 

Changbin’s grin widens. “Where’s the fun in that? Besides-” He leans over and playfully nips at your nose with his sharp canines, his voice dipping low and carnal. “-I warmed you up first, didn’t I? You seem plenty ready to me.” 

He moves a little, to make his point, and you bite back a groan behind your lips. 

“Shut up.” “No.” 

You roll your hips up into him, just as a petty form of retaliation, and he swears beneath his breath, dropping his head into the curve of your shoulder, his breath coming out stuttered. 

“Fuck.” 

“Oh, sorry.” You apologize sweetly, the muscles of his arms shaking now as he holds his body weight off of you, giving you a sidelong glare, sweat starting to drip into his eyes. “I thought you were ready.” 

Changbin lets out a growl beneath his breath from the back of his throat, and Felix’s pupils dilate-blowing large and dark-at the sound. 

“Okay.” The omega swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing, glancing at Changbin and then to you. “I just want to say one more thing-”

“Oh my god.” Changbin groans, doing his best to remain still, even though you can tell he’s dying to move. “I was promised a good old stress relief session. This is way too therapeutic for what I signed up for. Please, for the love of god, Lixie, just-” 

You bring your hips up to meet his once more, and Changbin’s expression turns to one of impatient agony. 

“Fuck, (Y/N)-! Stop doing that!” 

You tilt your head and give him an innocent smile. 

He bares his teeth in a look that clearly says he’s done playing with you. 

“Fine.” You roll your eyes, you won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing you’re just as eager for what comes next, and reach out for Felix. “Lixie, give me your hand.” 

The smell of oranges spikes as the omega places his fingers in your own. 

You glance up at Changbin once more, the smile dissolving into the start of a knowing smirk, your voice dropping into a low purr. 

Changbin tenses in anticipation. 

The scent of smoke becomes overpowering. 

“Alpha promised you something to take the edge off, didn’t she? And you’ve been patient. So now, be a good boy, baby, and open your mouth.” 

******

“It happens.” Seungmin remarks offhandedly, flipping to another page in his study guide, before he glances up at you over the rim of his glasses. “Late presentation, I mean. It’s not rare, but it’s also not incredibly common to hear about it.” 

You tap your pencil end over end, brow furrowed in thought. 

“Most subgenders have their presentation around the same time the primary gender goes through puberty, so, think early teens. It’s not fun, but it’s also not awful, because your body is going through so many prepubescent changes as is, that what’s one more, you know?” Seungmin continues, highlighting something on his paper in neon yellow before he glances back to you. “You remember, surely, how it was.” 

You shrug, noncommittal, and play with the frayed edge of your notebook. 

Seungmin sighs and sets down his highlighter. “When you present on schedule, you experience a light version of your subgender’s cycle-either a prelim rut or heat-think like maybe a fourth of what your body will experience during its first actual cycle. But those who present later-” 

You glance up sharply, wolf suddenly alert and growling anxiously. 

“What?” 

Seungmin shrugs and returns to his notes, adjusting his glasses on his nose. “Their presentation tends to be a little rougher on them. Not saying it’s the same for everyone, but that’s what they’ve noted over several years of studies.” 

You sit in silence for several long moments, Seungmin studying, you staring into space, and then you sigh heavily and Seungmin looks up at you once more in open annoyance. 

He sits back in his chair and pins you beneath his gaze. 

“Why all the questions all of a sudden anyway?” 

“There’s this kid-” You start to say, but you’re interrupted by Changbin’s arrival at the library table, his face one of absolute glee as he slams a paper down triumphantly in the middle for you both to see. 

You’re kind of glad for the interruption. 

You lean forward to glance at the paper, even as Seungmin glances up at the other alpha with a blank expression on his features. 

“What are we looking at?” 

Changbin scoffs, slamming a finger down on the paper, pointing to the large red pass scrawled at the top of the page. 

“What are you looking at?” He repeats Seungmin’s question as if it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. His voice is way too loud for the campus library. “You’re looking at a passing grade on the end of term musical composition final for yours truly!” 

“Congrats, dude.” You intone flatly, still distracted, and you don’t move fast enough as Changbin rounds the table and puts you into a headlock, ruffling your hair even as you protest. 

“Congrats? That’s it? No ‘oh my god, Changbin, you’re so hot and smart, sleep with me immediately!’? Or ‘holy shit, Changbin, I didn’t know you were a musical genius! I need to rip my top off and show you my breasts this instant!’?”

You evade his grip and glower at him, trying to fix the mess he’s made of your hair. 

“How about ‘not a chance in hell, alpha masc-hole’?”

Changbin rolls his eyes and slumps into the seat next to you, snatching his paper back up with a glare. 

“You guys are no fun.” 

Seungmin hums something that sounds like agreement under his breath, even as you lean over and flick Changbin-hard-in the middle of his forehead. He yelps and almost falls off his chair, leveling you with another dark glare even as you offer him a guileless smile in response. 

“Oh, sorry. I was trying to be fun.” 

“What about fun?” Chan appears at Changbin’s shoulder, smiling faintly, his dimples starting to appear in his cheeks, a paper in his own hand, though you can’t see what it is. 

“(Y/N) isn’t.” Changbin snipes off handedly, still staring at his passing grade, and narrowly dodging another flick from your finger in retaliation. 

He glances up as Chan settles into the seat on your other side, bringing a wave of rain and storm with him as he shucks off his backpack. 

Changbin narrows his eyes. 

“Wait. Is that the musical composition final?” 

Chan looks up at the other alpha with wide eyes, like he’s been caught red handed, and glances down at the paper still held in his hand. 

“Yeah, why-?” 

In a flash, Changbin is leaning across you, ignoring your vehement swearing as he messes up your writing, and snatching the paper from between Chan’s fingers. 

“Wait-” Chan starts to protest, but Changbin’s already staring at the paper like it holds all the answers to the universe. 

He looks up after a brief moment, complete disbelief washing across his face, followed by the instant darkening of his expression. 

You’re curious now, you hate to admit it, watching the two alphas apprehensively. 

Even Seungmin is paying attention from behind his book across the table. 

“No way in hell.” Changbin breathes out, and then he’s waving the paper around wildly, voice rising, “No way in hell did you get one hundred-fucking-percent on this goddamn final I’ve been struggling with for ages, Christopher Bang!” 

“Oh god.” Chan scrubs nervously at the back of his neck, as Changbin continues to fume, and you bite back a giggle between your teeth. 

You lean into him, even as Changbin continues to rant, whipping the paper around like he can destroy it, and the perfect grade, with just the glare in his dark eyes. 

“Hey, pretty boy.” 

Chan meets your gaze, uncertain, and you grin at him, raising a brow as you stare him down. 

“Promise me you’ll never let him live this down.” 

He stares at you, dumbfounded, mouth open, and without waiting for an answer, you turn to Changbin and say casually, “Hey Binnie, not to kick you while you’re down, but I heard from Minho, who heard from Jisung, who heard from Hyunjin, that Chan gives better head than you do. And in the studio no less.” 

“What?” Changbin roars, already in a frenzy, and Chan looks at you like you’ve just poked the angry bear with a very tiny and very inadequate stick. 

What are you doing?! He mouths desperately, silently. 

You shrug and give him a saccharine smile, before you mouth back, Being fun. 

Chan sighs wearily and rubs at his temples like he has a headache coming on, even as you tuck your smile back behind your teeth and turn back to your studying. 

You don’t get anything done though-and it’s not because of Changbin’s overly loud semantics, or the fact that Seungmin keeps kicking you as retribution under the table, or even because you feel bad, just a little, for throwing Chan under the bus-no, it’s because you can’t seem to pull your thoughts away from a certain unpresented freshman that’s been haunting you ever since orientation day. 

Goddamn it. 

********

Maybe it’s fate, or maybe it’s chance, or maybe it’s just simply the fucked up timing of the university’s bus schedule, but whatever it is, you run into said freshman exactly two days later, outside the omega dorms. 

You come to a stop in your tracks, and Hyunjin at your side nearly trips over your unmoving feet, almost spilling his fancy expensive ass latte he had insisted on getting before class, his glare instant and narrowed in on you immediately. 

“If I had spilled my hazelnut triple shot cheese foam latte because of you-” 

“You would have recovered.” You finish his sentence for him distractedly, still staring at the boy who is waiting at the bus stop, red hair almost fiery in the early morning sun. 

“No.” Hyunjin lets out a long breath through his nose, as if he’s this close to killing you, and then says with faux, dramatic patience, “I would have murdered you. And then made you buy me a new one.” 

“Hell no.” You finally glance at him. “That thing was like eight bucks, just by itself. I don’t have that kind of money. Go ask your sugar daddy.” 

He acts shocked, splaying long fingers across his chest and widening his eyes, as if you have just said something to make him clutch his pearls. 

You know though, that Hwang Hyunjin has absolutely zero shame, and it’s all just a show. 

“Firstly, I don’t have a sugar daddy. Secondly, even if I did-” He clears his throat and drops his hand, face once again falling impassive as he takes a long sip from his overly expensive latte. “-he’d be vacationing in barbados right now.” He waves his cell phone in your direction. “No cell service.” 

You roll your eyes, and the screech of the university bus brakes has you glancing back to the bus stop ahead of you, the freshman hiking his backpack farther up as he steps forward to board. 

“Jinnie. C’mon.” 

You feel a sense of urgency, as you slip your fingers around the omega’s wrist and drag him along with you, sprinting for the waiting bus, the disappearing crowd of freshmen. 

You pull Hyunjin aboard with you just as they’re getting ready to head to the campus, barely avoiding the closing doors and, ignoring the annoyed look the bus driver gives the both you, pull the omega to the back of the bus with you where a head of bright shiny red hair peeks just above the last seat. 

“Oh my god.” Hyunjin slumps down in an open seat across the aisle from the kid as you take the one beside him, fanning himself with one hand, as he shoots you a begrudging look and blows a long dark strand of hair from his eyes. “Give an omega some warning, would you?” 

“Sorry.” You apologize blankly, but you don’t really mean it, as your eyes drift to the freshman, headphones in, staring out the window at the passing traffic. 

How rude would it be to tap him on the shoulder and make conversation? How weird would it be? 

What would you even say? 

Hey, this is weird, but I was your guide on orientation day, and since then I can’t seem to get you out of my head, and I’m sure it’s lonely and weird being unpresented and not knowing where you stand, and maybe my pack and I can help, if you want, and-

Hyunjin rests the sharp jut of his chin on your shoulder. 

“You’re staring.” 

You shake yourself out of your trance and take in a deep breath, bracing yourself as the bus goes around a corner a little too quickly. 

Hyunjin glances past you curiously, eying the still unaware kid across the aisle, and something visibly slots into place in his head. 

“Oh my god.” Your boyfriend sits up, eyes brightening, still staring, and you try in vain to shush him, as you get a few weird looks your way. “Is that him?” 

“Shut up, shut up, shut up.” You hiss, putting your palm over his mouth, ignoring the feel of his wet tongue as he tries to lick you to get you to release. 

“Fine, fine.” Hyunjin finally grumbles, and you release him reluctantly, even as he peeks around you for another look. “He’s cute.” 

“Oh my god.” You sink down in your seat and stare out the window, dutifully ignoring the omega’s knowing glances, and the freshman across the aisle, for the rest of the short bus ride. 

It’s only when you’ve exited the bus, defeated, a smirking Hyunjin in tow, that a voice speaks up from behind the two of you. 

“Hi.” 

You whirl, Hyunjin a little slower on the uptake, still sipping his bloody iced coffee, now curiously, as you both turn to see the redheaded freshman standing behind you. 

He waves, a little sheepishly, and waits for the screeching of the bus brakes to fade from earshot, before he attempts to speak again, a slight smile curving the corner of his lips, turning his eyes into the start of crescent moons. 

You swear all the breath disappears from your lungs at the sight. 

He cocks his head and points at you. “Orientation, right?” 

It takes a moment for your fuddled mind to comprehend his words. 

“Yeah.” You say faintly, and then repeat louder, “Yeah, that’s right.” 

His curious gaze moves to Hyunjin, who is sucking up the last dregs of his latte with pursed lips, and then back to you. 

He grins and reaches up to rake back the thick burgundy hair falling over his brow and into his eyes. 

“I don’t know if you remember, but I’m Jeongin.” 

“Yeah, I know.” You repeat dumbly, your voice soft for some unknown reason, your lungs breathless. 

He studies you, standing there, staring at him, like he’s some cartoon fairy tale come to life, and then Hyunjin sighs from beside you. 

“Jeongin yeah?” He steps forward, closing the distance between the three of you, and tossing his empty cup into a nearby trash can, holds out his hand toward the younger boy with a smile. “I’m Hyunjin.” 

Jeongin hesitates for the briefest of moments, then slaps his palm into Hyunjin’s. “Nice to meet you, Hyunjin-hyung.” 

Hyunjin glances over his shoulder at you, amusement in his dark eyes, as if to silently say look at the little puppy’s manners, already partially housetrained, and then he turns back to Jeongin with that same wide smile from before. 

“Sorry about (Y/N). She’s mute.” “No I’m not!” You shove up beside him, and he cackles, raising a brow in your direction, and you know, that you’ve just fallen into his trap. 

You clear your throat and glance back to Jeongin, who is watching the two of you with open amusement on his sharp features. 

God, what do you even say-?

Luckily, Jeongin saves you from having to think for too long. 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.” He smiles, all dimples and bright eyes and shocking red hair. He reaches out and entwines his fingers with yours, and it takes you a moment to compute that he’s almost shyly shaking your hand. He glances up at you through his thick bangs, but there’s something almost devious in his expression as his smile turns sly and he continues. “Don’t worry, noona, I don’t mind someone as pretty as you just staring at me. It’s enough.” 

Noona? Pretty? Did he just-?

Hyunjin cackles again, louder this time, and Jeongin releases his hold on your hand with a cheeky grin, even as you stand there, dumbfounded. 

Hyunjin throws an arm around the kid’s shoulders, as if they’ve been best friends for ages, wiping mirthful tears from the corner of his eyes. 

“God, Minho-hyung is gonna love you.” 

************************************************************************

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[dalamjisung]

piece of heaven, part two ❃ seo changbin

genre: angst, slight fluff at the end, 

word count: 3078

pairing: reader x seo changbing

description: four years is a lot of time for things to happen. Will your relationship handle it all?

(inspired on the song CIGARETTE by OFFONOFF: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AamatUtxev4) 

tag: @backtonormalthings 

You worked pretty much all of the time you weren’t in school. But this time, you worked with a smile on your face. You had set working hours, so after 6PM you could go out with your boyfriend and get proper sleep. You were in college now, almost done with the process of ‘growing up’ and ‘finding your true self’ in those systematic educational institutes, and already started on the professional world that awaited for you so patiently.

After that one night in the boys studio, it was so clear to you; what you wanted to do with the rest of your free time, and who you wanted right by your side as you ventured this unknown territory. Cigarette ended up not being used as a song in the debut album, as the boys predicted it would, but actually sold to another artist, and that was your first step into adulthood. Once the song hit the charts, Changbin’s company recruited you to be a producer trainee. For two years–your two first years of college– you worked hard, meeting demands and deadlines, producing one song after the other, and although you excelled at that, there was nothing you loved more than sitting down around that one familiar glass table, in a tiny room, with three of your favorite boys; Changbin, Chan, and Felix. Just like you were now. 

“Y/N,” Chan whined. “I’m tired.”

“That’s cause you don’t sleep,” You chuckle. “But go ahead to the dorms and I’ll finish up here.”

“I’ll stay with you,” Changbin said smiling. 

In four years, a lot happened. Firs you were recruited. Then, after the company president deemed your skills perfect, you were officially hired as a worker. While all of that happened, your relationship with the boys bloomed. Chan and Woojin became older brothers to you; always worried and ready to listen, those two made sure that you were staying healthy and well rested. Minho, Seungmin, and Felix were your best friends; you guys laughed together, and caused trouble together. Hyunjin, Jeongin, and Jisung turned out to be your adored dongsaengs; you’d protect them from any harm, and you were sure they’d return the favor. And finally Changbin… well, Changbin was now your boyfriend of four years. 

After that night at the studio, it all happened in a flash, and soon you were both sitting facing his manager, asking permission to date. The condition was that, because the boys signed the dating ban contract, they couldn’t date for one year after their debut, but after that, you two were free to publicly announce your relationship. The boys were so close to the debut at that time that you made sure to work double just so you could speed up the process. The faster they debut, you thought. The faster the one year goes by. And you weren’t wrong. With you training at the company, and him promoting his album, one year went by as if it was one month. Now, it’s three years after that. Three years of happiness, and misunderstandings, and fights, and make up dinners at the balcony of his dorm.

You smiled, remembering all of those good times– the bad ones, too– and reach forward for his hand. He is in the middle of writing a verse when you grab his other hand.

“What?” He mumbles with a hint of smile. 

“I love you.” You say and watch as your favorite thing happens: he blushes. 

“I love you too,” He says and puts the pen down. “Now where is this coming from?”

You shrug. “Just wanted to let you know.”

“Oh, I know,” He chuckles walking towards you. Leaning down, he gives you a kiss. “I know, love.”

“Good.” You whisper. 

“What’s going on in that head of your, Y/N?” Changbin asks crouching down in front of your chair, holding your hands. “You have this one look one your face…”

“We’re growing up, Binnie.” You say. “And that worries me a lot. I’m almost done with college, you’re winning prizes already… what will be of us in a few years?”

This thought had been haunting you for a while now. You saw each other a lot because of work, but you knew that soon he’d have to go on tour again, and that you’d be assigned a new group to work with while they are away. You’d grow to different directions. And there was also the question of your grandparents. Your grandfather hasn’t been well as of lately and you worried about him constantly. You weren’t ready to grow like that; not yet. 

“Y/N,” He sighs. “We’ll be fine. Remember? We made a promise; I will be your light. I will shine you bright. We’re here for each other, good or bad, yeah?”

And you nod, hugging your boyfriend, because this is how you wanted to stay. 

———————————

The months pass like they mean nothing; and soon you are graduating. Everyone is there, which causes a big ruckus of selfies and autographs, for both your boyfriend and the boys and your grandfather. You guys go out for dinner and drinks and celebrate your initiation into the full-time job life. 

Another month passes by and you and Changbin have a huge fight. As you finally had the time to fully dedicate yourself to your job, your name grew quite big in the music industry, resulting on unwanted attention from the media. The fight is about a rumor of you switching companies to work with another boy group. It’s stupid but both of you are hurt and Chan has to intervene; he tells you to go home and sleep it off, and promises to make Changbin call the next day. He doesn’t call for three days and you feel like that was the end. It wasn’t and you both are incredibly proud of the way you overcame that together. 

Time goes by just like that; with things happening and things happening over those other things, and you wonder if growing up is just like that; a bunch of things happening all at once and you have to chose which one you will pay attention to. 

It’s winter now, and Changbin and the boys are touring. You miss him while you snuggle in the bed, holding his pillow. The boys always asked you to take care of the dorm while they are away, which meant you slept in Changbin’s bed for about three months a year. It was heart shattering to have him gone, but you were so proud and happy for him that the hurt was barely felt. 

You are in the middle of a season finally when the FaceTime window pops. You quickly fix your hair, pushes your glasses up your nose bridge, and smile. 

“Hey,” You say, hugging the blanket closer to you.

“Hey,” He says back, teary eyes. He is smiling, but as his eyes whine with unshed tears, you can’t help but sigh. 

“Changbin…,” You mumble, hand touching his face on the screen. “Are you okay?”

“I miss you.” He laughs. “I miss you so fucking much, Y/N. It’s crazy.”

“I miss you too, my love,” You smile a sad smile. “But it’s just for two more weeks, yeah?” 

“It’s still too much,” He whispers. “Too much.”

“It is,” You agree. “But we got this. We got this, Binnie. I’m waiting for you with hugs and kisses, and when you get back we’ll both get off days to just cuddle and sleep, yeah?”

“I can’t wait for that,” He smiles, tears gone and a hopeful glint shines on his eyes. “You’ll wait for me, right?”

“If I didn’t then I’d just be stupid.” You snort, making his laugh. This is all I want, you think, relieved. Him laughing and happy.

You listen to him as he tells you about the concert they just played. The venue, the crowd, the vibe; but your attention is stollen as your phone starts vibrating. You ask your boyfriend for a second and picks it up, thinking that if someone is calling you this late, it must be important. 

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Y/G/N guardian?” The voice asks on the other side and your blood goes cold. 

“Yes, who is this?” You ask, feeling as if you could throw up at any moment now. 

“I’m a nurse at the Center Hospital, can I ask your relation to the patient?” 

“Patient?!” You gasp, eyes widening. “I’m his granddaughter. Is he okay?”

“Ma’am, your grandfather just suffered from a cardiac arrest but we’ve managed to get to him in time and now he is resting. Would it be possible for you to come down here? We have somethings we want to discuss with you.”

Forgetting all about Changbin on the other side of the screen, you shut the laptop and run to the door with only one thought in mind.

Please let him be okay. 

He was not okay. You cried as you held your grandfather’s hand. His face was pale and there were tubes everywhere; you’ve never seen his this fragile before, and it broke your heart to know he had been in pain. Your grandmother was in the waiting room, allowing you to have some privacy.

“Grandpa,” You whispered, trying to control yourself. “You can’t leave me yet. I’m not ready to be on my own, and neither is Grandma. It won’t be the same without you…”

“Don’t say that, Y/N,” You hear your grandpa’s hoarse voice. You look at him, raising your head from where it laid next to your joined hands, and saw him frowning. “You’re not alone.”

“I know,” You say feeling guilty. “Grandma is still here.”

“I’m not talking about your grandmother, dear,” He smiles. “Your boy, Seo Changbin. He will take care of you after we’re gone. He promised me he would.”

This was news to you; you never knew they talked about this before.

“What do you mean?” 

“I’ve gave him my blessing,” Your grandpa says, smiling. “I gave him my piece of heaven, Y/N. And he promised to take care of it forever.”

At this point, you were crying nonstop. To hear him talking like this was killing you; he talked as if he would be gone at any moment now, and you had to admit, he was old, and time was not a friend, but you weren’t ready. You wanted him to see you get married, and you wanted him to meet your kids. There was so much more that he had to be a part of, that you don’t know what you’d do if he was gone. 

“Grandpa, please,” You beg. “Please.”

“You’re my piece of heaven, Y/N.” He repeats, bringing you close and kissing your forehead. “Don’t forget that.”

“You always say that,” You sniff.

“And it’ll alway be true,” He chuckles, and then coughs. “Even when I can’t say it anymore.”

The next week was a blank of mixed days and lost memories; you were always at the hospital so you didn’t really remember anything besides that. Changbin made sure to call you three times– or more– a day, worried about your dark bags and large clothes. You looked like you’d lost so much weight, and honestly, you probably did; your stomach couldn’t hold anything down, except your grandmother’s soup. Work was a mess and it took about three days for your boss to notice what was happening, and then he gave you a couple of weeks of to stay with your family. 

My family, you thought, suddenly so angry. It’s not fair. This is not fair at all. 

Your phone gets you out of the toxic mindset your were getting trapped, and you sigh in relief. Changbin.

“Hey,” You mumble, looking at his worried face on the the screen.

“Hey, love,” He said softly. Changbin was making sure to be extra soft and careful with you, allowing you to feel safe enough so that you could talk to him easily. “How is it today?”

“He’s not getting better,” You mumble. “The doctors told us to prepare ourselves… they said it could be any day, now.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” He sighed. “I’m sorry I’m not there.”

“No, Changbin,” You smile, and this was the first one of the whole week. “You are touring. It’s not your fault. Focus on you, yeah? Grandma and I will get through this.”

He nods and tells you about the concert they had, trying to cheer you up with good news. Some of the boys pop in to say hi and send their support, but you don’t really feel like joking around. You guys say goodbye, and you go back to your grandfather, who is talking to your grandmother. As you watch them from the door, you try to smile, and you take a picture. A last memory together, you think and walk in. 

He passes away that night. 

———————————

You feel like you are not living anymore, just functioning. You drown yourself in work; writing song after song, but they were all too sad. Your boss, worried about your mental state, gives you another week, so you could stay home with your boyfriend, and grieve without worrying about having to hand in an assignment; but you weren’t really sure about that, because if you didn’t focus on work, you’d focus on him and you weren’t sure that was the best choice. There was no choice, though, and your boss and the CEO all forced you to go home. 

I get home tonight, Changbin texted you. Hang on just a little longer. 

You were only hanging on because of him; because you knew that he’d soon be with you, and that you could simply give up, and he would still help you get back on your feet. That’s how Changbin and you worked; you weren’t co-dependent, there was no real need for each other, but rather a want. You didn’t need his help, you wanted it. You wanted him in your life because you knew that then you wouldn’t be alone through anything– he’d always be by your side. And you by his. But sometimes, when you were too busy or when he was away, it was hard to keep thinking like that. It was hard to be positive and to keep your chin up, because although he will always be by your side, his physical presence is gone. He can’t hold your hand or caress your hair; there is no hugs and kisses and whispered promises. There is just a cold side of the bed where he’d usually lay, and limited phone calls. You missed him.

You missed him so much, that it was only natural you’s start thinking he didn’t miss you as much as you did, even though he has shown and told you repeatedly that this was a two way street– what you felt would always be reciprocated. As you sat on your couch, holding all tears in, looking through albums and albums of pictures, you started getting angry. Maybe if your parents didn’t leave, you grandfather wouldn’t have died. Maybe if they stayed, they would’ve taken the stress of taking care of you off of his shoulders. You were the type of person that when in doubt of which emotion you were feeling, it would be redirected to anger. Your first reaction was always anger. And then guilt. And only in the end, it would be sadness. You were still in transition from the second to the third when you heard the door opening, the cold winter air rushing in with your boyfriend; his desperate eyes looking for you, examining you, taking you in. You nod– a ‘hello,’ a ‘I’m fine,’ a ‘come here I could really use a hug.’ 

“Oh Y/N,” He sighs and drops his bag on the ground, walking towards you with arms wide open. You run to him, slotting yourself in this familiar body that felt so strange. “I’m here. It’ll okay. You’ll be okay.”

And you cry. You cry like you haven’t cried in two weeks; words falling out of your mouth, snot running down your nose, and wails of pain echoing in the dorm. You notice that the rest of the boys aren’t there, probably giving you two some privacy, and you are thankful. He holds you tight, not saying a damn thing, allowing you to simply put it all out, let it all go. Your fists were tight against his chest, sometimes hitting him softly, sometimes holding his sweater, sometimes just feeling his heartbeat; a reassurance that he was really there. A couple of hours after, when you have been reduced to a pile of sniffs and apologies, he kisses you, whipping out his phone. 

“I’ll tell the boys to come home,” He whispers, kissing your forehead. 

“Okay,” Your voice is raspy from the crying and you are embarrassed. You are embarrassed to have been this desperate for Changbin’s presence, embarrassed for being angry at him, embarrassed for thinking he didn’t love you as much as you did him. “I’m sorry…”

“For what?” He asks still typing. 

“For everything.” You say and hugs him again.

“Well now you’ve got me even more worried,” He chuckles. “What happened?”

“I had some thoughts,” You say, hiding in his neck. “That you didn’t love me; miss me. I was angry, Binnie, so angry… I hated thinking like that but I just– I just missed you.”

“Hey,” He smiles, grabbing you head and making you look at him. “I missed you too. I get angry too. I feel that way two. It’s so normal, babe, and you don’t have to apologize for feeling. It’s normal to feel needy and angry when your loved one is away, okay?”

“Okay.” 

“Don’t you remember?” He asks, smiling a nostalgic smile, and you know exactly what he is talking about. 

I wish I be your last

I could be there for you

I could be the one to

I'd be your cigarette

“I do.” You say smiling too. Only him, to make you smile in the midst of your pain. 

“I want to hear that again soon, Y/N.” His eyes bore into yours and your heart is racing. “I really, really want to hear that again.”

“I’ll say it how many times you want, love.” You say, arms around him, smell of his perfume on you, warmth of his body on yours. He’s home. I’m home. “We have time.”

[dreamescapeswriting]

[21:48] ~ Changbin [M]

Word Count: 2.8K 

A/N: @taestannie​ is a genius! Pointed something out to me and it just had to become a waiter AU for binnie boy 🥺💜 

Genre: Smut, waiter/waitress AU, friends to lovers

Friday night shifts were the worst possible shifts to be placed on and everybody knew that which is why everyone except for you, Changbin and a couple of others were the only ones waiting tables that night. The restaurant was overcrowded by people as it always was on a Friday night and you were already wanting to pull your hair out of your scalp and you'd only been on shift for ten minutes.

"Drinking game tonight?" Changbin asked as he watched you walking over to him at the bar, you nodded in agreement showing him the back of your notepad, you'd already started taking notes on the number of times you'd been told to smile. You and Changbin had been working there for the last year and you'd come up with a drinking game to do every Friday you locked up at night - you were the managers which meant you were in charge of locking up each night.

"Just you and me tonight though, everyone's leaving early. Felix has a date," You rolled your eyes when didn't Felix have a date? Changbin watched as you bent down in front of him to pick up one of the serving trays from his bar. You were wearing the usual black tight-fitted low cut top that the sleazy restaurant owner ordered that every girl wore on shift along with the tight pencil skirt that drove Changbin wild for you. Everything you ever did drove Changbin wild for you, he could never fully concentrate when you were on a shift together. 

"You okay there Changbin?" You giggled coming back up from the ground and making eye contact with him, he nodded his head and began making drinks from his notepad when you joined him on the other side of the bar.

"Do you know what table 45 said to his wife just now?" You whispered nodding your head over to the window seat where a couple were sitting together, he shook his head and you started laughing softly at what you’d heard them talking about. 

"They're taking their pick of the guys tonight and you caught her eye." He groaned at the thought of it, it wasn’t how he wanted to spend his night tonight. Everyone knew that couple, they came in every Friday to flirt with the waiters and waitresses, giving them huge tips and making sure they never shared them with anyone else. Always touching and flirting with people whenever they got the chance, you were sure they were trying to make a threeway happen. 

"Can't say I blame them, hot stuff." You joked winking at him before walking away with your tray of porn star cocktails, Changbin watched as you swung your hips from side to side a little extra than usual. You and Changbin would flirt...a lot...There was no secret that there was the sexual tension between you both but nothing ever happened as much as both of you wanted it to.

"Cat got your  tongue?" Chan - one of the other waiters - questioned when he watched Changbin watching you, he stuttered over his words spilling beer onto the tray he was holding. 

"W-What?! No, her?! We're just friends," Chan snorted at the younger waiter in front of him and shook his head, 

"Sure thing, and I’m a rapper" He said sarcastically as he walked away from Changbin while he went onto cleaning up the drinks he'd split all over the place. 

Towards the end of the night, it was starting to get so busy you and the other waiters were climbing over one another to get through the place. The place always got like this towards the end of the night, people would come here before they went on a night on the town since the drinks were cheaper and you could find friends there easier than in the packed out clubs.

"Can I start you off with some drinks tonight?" You questioned looking down at a group of girls who all looked disappointed that they didn't have a male server with them but instead they had you to deal with.

"Excuse me Y/n," You looked over your shoulder as you heard Changbin say your name. God, you'd give anything to hear him moan it just once, after a couple of seconds you realised you couldn't move thanks to the place being so packed full. He placed his hands on either side of your hips and pressed himself against you as he got by the table. You could feel every inch of him and it sent a pool to your core just thinking about him,

"Y-yeah, drinks?" You stuttered out trying to distract yourself from the need of wanting Changbin to take you into the back and fuck you until your voice ran out.

Changbin stood at the bar mixing drinks and you looked at your pad, you had a bunch of cocktails you weren't skilled enough to make and you knew he was. You walked over with a giant smile on your face and leant forward on the bar. Changbin tried to keep his eyes on you but it was hard when you were practically hanging out of your top for all to see, it only sent more blood rushing to his cock. He was concentrating so hard on not staring at your breasts all he'd heard you say is, 

"Sex on the beach and make me scream?" His eyes snapped to yours in horror and you frowned at him, 

"You're the only one decent enough at making them don't make me beg Binnie." You whined out running your fingers up and down his bicep as you gave him your best puppy dog eyes you could conjure up. Flirting with him was the best way to get your own way right now and you knew that too well,

"Yeah, s-sure. What table?" He stuttered out finally realising that you meant the cocktails and you weren't asking him to fuck you on the beach and make you scream.

"Table 12, be careful Binnie. I think they bite." You whispered in his ear moving away to go on the five-minute break that you had. You just needed to be away from him for five minutes, any longer around him and you'd be dying for him to bend you over the bar.

"Here you go ladies," Changbin said as he unloaded the drinks onto their table, they all smiled at him and began flirting heavily but its something he was used to after working her. He watched as you came out from the back of the kitchens adjusting your top and he bit his lip watching you closely. 

"Can I get you anything else?" He asked going back to his job and trying to ignore the raging hard-on he was getting under his apron, he thanked the lord that he had one otherwise everyone would know what was going on in his mind right now. You had no idea what you did to him with the simplest of things, you could say a word to him and have him hard for you. One-touch, one whisper, anything and he would be yours for you to take.

"Thanks, Binnie, I owe you." You said as he came back to the bar you were standing behind, he went to walk behind you when you back up into him thanks to another waitress walking in front. 

"Shit sorry," You whispered as you felt him against your ass, he was hard and it turned you on even more than you already were for him. You ignored the feeling and cleared your throat, 

"Last hour! Let's go!" You yelled clapping your hands together trying to get everyone on the move and into their places for final drink orders.

The shutters were pulled down and locked, you and Changbin were alone in the whole restaurant trying to close up everything. You’d finished counting out the tips before everyone left for their own nights and now you were counting up the register while Changbin stood behind his bar.

"The perks of being bar manager and manger," You looked up from the books in front of you and over to him while he spoke, he pulled out a bottle of tequila for you both and two small shot glasses smirking darkly as he knew you always had to take more shots than he did. 

"We can drink our sorrows away," He was overdramatizing everything while you counted up and cashed the money into the safe. Once it was done you walked over to the bar he was standing behind and took out your notepad. 

"You're going to be hammered," He whistled looking at all of the notes you had by everything you had to take a shot for, 

"Five for being told to smile, 6 for asking for my number, 10 for the sly ''accidental'' ass grab, 9 for the number of times a man has told me that my skirt fits me perfectly." You slammed the notepad down and waited for him to show you his pad but he didn’t,

"Not showing," He put it into his top pocket and you scoffed, 

"Erm, yes you are those are the rules. Give it to me." He shook his head at you tapping his pocket with the book inside and you blinked at him, 

"Come and get it," You stared at him from across the bar, he knew you would and you knew you would climb across that bar and get it from his hands if you had to. 

"Fine," He threw it down in front of you not wanting to risk you hurting yourself if you climbed over the bar and you sighed reading from his page. You didn’t see why he was hiding it, it was nothing, 

"Five shots? Five shots?!" You sounded offended and you were, here you were with 30 shots. 

"You're taking some of mine, I can't handle 30 on my own." You told him as he started making up the shots in front of you.

Five minutes later you were 15 shots in and starting to get a little giddy from the alcohol, you’d never been one to handle your drinks and neither had Changbin so they’d gone straight to your heads. 

"I have an idea, I saw it on a movie once and it looked like fun." Changbin watched as you pulled him over to one of the tables and laid down on top of it. 

"W-What are you doing?!" Blood rushed to his cock again as he watched you start to unbutton your shirt and reveal your black bra to him, it made his mouth run dry as he thought about you laying there like that for him, 

"Relax Binnie," You placed a lime into your mouth, salt on your chest and poured some of the shot onto your stomach waiting for him to catch onto what you wanted him to do. 

"Body shots? Really?" You nodded and he smirked at you, both of you too tipsy to care anymore and far too pent up to even care that you were just two flirty friends. 

"You asked for it Princess," The nickname sent a pool to your panties and your legs clamped together trying to ignore the pressing feeling of wanting him inside of you. He sucked the tequila from your belly button and then slowly licked the salt from your chest, coming up to your mouth and smirking as you proudly held the lime there for him. He licked his bottom lip before taking the lime out of your mouth with his lips before throwing it somewhere across the room. He grabbed your face and began to make out with you heavily on the table, your hands went into his hair bringing his face closer to yours. Tugging on the strands of his hair and he let out a low grunt of your name, that was all it took. You needed him.

"Want you." You whispered to him and he swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat nodding and looking at you as you shifted to the edge of the table spreading your legs open for him, it wasn't the most hygienic of places for this to happen but neither of you cared right now. You needed one another and you weren't going to waste time calling a taxi to take you home. Your shaky hands undid his belt and dropped his pants to the floor and he began kissing you again, he laid your back flat against the table gently, 

"C-Changbin," You whispered looking into his eyes as he pulled away from the kiss, his breathing was laboured and he looked at you as he slowly slipped two fingers into your heat, he didn't even give you a second to get used to it as he began to finger you. Your back arched off the table and you moaned out his name clenching around his fingers. He groaned watching you with lust in his eyes as you clenched around his fingers he just kept imagining what you would feel like around him, crying out his name whenever he'd hit that sweet spot of yours. 

"Good?" He chuckled adding another finger into your heat, your hands gripped onto the edges of the table as your toes curled as you felt him hitting your g-spot, 

"R-Really good Binnie!" You whimpered feeling overwhelmed with him finally taking you, it was everything you'd wanted and everything he’d always wanted/

"I want you though Binnie, all of you," You whispered seductively, he slipped his fingers out of you and began pumping himself in his hand to slick himself in your arousal as he watched you rub your clit for him.

“Need you Binnie,” You moaned out making eye contact with him as he pumped himself faster at the thought of being inside of you, the amount of times he’d done this in his apartment. Thinking about you while jerking himself off was unimaginable. 

"S-Shit, you're so fucking beautiful." He grunted lining himself up at your entrance, he looked at you asking for approval and you nodded as he slowly sank into you. 

"A-ah fuck," He grunted as your nails dug into his biceps, he sank all the way into you and held himself still as he felt your pussy clenching around him needly sucking him into you. 

"You're so tight," His comment made you whimper and he chuckled seeing you like this, you'd done nothing but tease and flirt all evening but now you were beneath him begging for him to move. The sounds you were making drove him wild and he slowly began thrusting into you, pulling you further off the edge of the table to angle himself deeper.

He hooked one of your legs over your shoulder and held you in place on the table thrusting roughly into you.

"Shit! Changbin!" You cried out hands desperate to hold back onto him to steady yourself from falling off the table. He kissed you passionately as he continued to fuck into you with small yet powerful thrusts. 

You knew you weren't going to last long, you'd dreamt of this moment happening for months and here it was. 

"I'm close Changbin," You moaned out to him and it only made him more animalistic, his hips began snapping in and out of you at an unspeakable pace that had your head spinning. You cried out his name as he took his thumb and began rubbing your sensitive clit, he wanted to feel you cum around him. 

"S-Shit!" You screamed feeling your high hitting you and pushing through you intensely, your legs shook as you came around him and he continued fucking into you. 

"I-I'm cumming!" You whimpered hips bucking so hard that the table was starting to shake and wobble beneath you both. Changbin grunted thrusting into you one last time and burying himself deep inside as he came into you filling you up as he moaned out your name.

You stay there for a couple of minutes with him still inside of you trying to catch your breath and come down from the highs. 

"Whoa," You whispered once you were both cleaned up and the table was cleaned. 

"That's all you have to say?" He chuckled coming over to you, your ass was pressed against the table as he wrapped his arm around you. 

"What do you want me to say? 'Thank God It's Friday?'" You stared at him and he shook his head at you softly placing a kiss on both cheeks before leaving one on your lips.

"No, I want you to say that you'll come home with me tonight." You nodded at him, 

"Then I'll go home with you tonight." You whispered to him leaning forward and giving him another kiss, 

"But first I have to delete the camera footage from the main office." You told him as you pointed up at the CCTV cameras in the restaurant. 

A/n: This was written last night so if there’s any mistakes I’m sorry but I love this and I loved the idea when @taestannie​ came to me with it and I just had to do this

Tagline: 

@writingdreamsnottragedies​ @snowy-meowl​ @jooniesdarlingdimples​ 

[christopher-bangnaldoskzz]

Best chapter to date 🫠❤️😍

⚠️please read the trigger warnings for this one ☝️

Hierarchy (Part 9)

Heirachy: a system, especially in a society or organization, in which people are organized into different levels of importance from highest to lowest.

Pairing: Mafia Changbin x Reader Word Count: 6.7k Genre: Mafia AU, friends to lovers, slow burn Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, swearing, mafia violence, death threats, guns, dubious intentions, criminal activity, guns, blood, fighting

🚨Trigger Warning: Attempted Assault of a sexual nature does occur in the chapter against the reader. If you are at all sensitive to this topic I would suggest that you skip this chapter entirely. I am happy to tell you what happens in the chapter via message so you don't miss any of the story so that you can avoid any content that may cause you any form of upset, trauma or pain. Caution is advised.

You have always been utterly uninteresting, safely boring as close. You had a normal job, normal friends and the sweetest bestie on the planet but now everything is upside down and that best friend of yours is far more dangerous than you could have ever imagined.

All Changbin could hear was the blood rushing in his ears after you told him you had been with Felix, you had said you had kissed him but he knew Felix and you were close so he was sure you actually meant you had let him fuck you. He wasn't sure what whether he was angry or hurt and he wasn't sure if it was by you or by Felix but either way Felix was going to pay for it. Slamming the meeting room door open the noise from it bouncing off the wall surprising not only Felix but Chan, Minho and Hyunjin who were talking about other business while Felix frowned his phone to his ear.

"Changbin!" Chan yelled noticing how furious and deathly calm he looked.

"You are fucking dead" he growled lowly ignoring Chan completely as he crossed the room faster than they obviously expected except Felix who hadn't moved but had hung up the phone.

"Binnie, man I can explain it's not whatever you are thinking" Felix explained calmly raising his hands in surrender.

"You fucked my girl you cunt, you fucked her right under my nose you fucking bastard" he glared icily the veins on his neck straining against his skin. "You took advantage of her you piece of shit" Changbin was still the picture of cold calmness as he pulled his hand gun and at point blank range aimed between the younger mans eyes.

The whole house had heard the commotion at this point because the others came running to see what the fuck was going on except Han who already knew and had high tailed it outside to where he knew you had gone with Changbin not too long ago. Hyunjin say nervously wide eyed as Jeongin and Seungmin stood behind the couches at a good distance and even Minho looked apprehensive. He could feel the palpable fear rolling off his crew it had been a long time since he had played the enforcer roll but it was still as much a part of him as you were.

"Woah, woah, lets maybe talk about this for more than a few seconds" Chan demanded his authority over the others obvious as no one else moved "What are we talking about here?".

"The night we brought her here this piece of shit fucked her" he accused eerily quietly raising his eyebrow to Felix to challenge him on it.

"Felix did you?" Chan rounded on the younger one.

"No boss" Felix quipped quickly his eyes not leaving Changbin's

"Then what the fuck is going on?" Chan snarled looking between the two.

"I'm going to kill Felix that's what is going on" he ground out the rage still flowing in his blood like poison.

"Go on then" Felix egged him on eyes hard as he watched his best friends eyes burn "She wouldn't ever forgive you if you did she would be out of here and your life forever, but still take your shot man". The room stopped even Chan was holding his breath waiting for him to make his decision.

"Princess?" he called jogging around the gardens looking for where ever you might have stopped with Changbin finding you whimpering as you walked back from the hedge maze, tear stains on your face and shirt.

"Hannie?" you croaked meeting his eyes with your watery ones. "I fucked up"

"Oh princess" he soothed pulling you into his arms to hold you for a moment "we need to get you back inside your two boys are going to kill each other if we don't".

"Did you just hug me?" you spluttered looking at him in slight shock.

"Well yeah, course were friends so I can hug you like Lix can" he grinned looking like at excited child which made you feel slightly better that you had made your cute walk with Bin into a shit show. "But I mean it they are going to kill each other if we don't get back, the big guy is very good at killing people".

"What do you mean?" you muttered as you followed him back to the house in a much more direct way than you had first wandered.

"Didn't he tell you? before all of us were together he was the enforcer he did all the killing because he is good at it, just shuts himself off, no humanity just a killing machine. That changed when Hyun and I came in and together took over for him but he still takes people out whenever Chan asks" he shrugged like he was telling you the upcoming weather forecast not that Bin could murder on command.

"Fuck" you mumbled as you reached the french doors that led into the kitchen, the house was deathly silent which worried you but Han just squeezed your hand and continued towards the meeting room effectively dragging you there. As soon as you entered your heart leapt into your throat Bin was standing only a few feet from Lix with a gun pointing at him while Lix just stared back, the others watching on in silence.

"Just shoot him already big guy or put it down no one cares which one of you has the bigger dick, especially since our princess couldn't verify that anyway" Han groaned plopping down on the couch and putting his feet up like he was watching a movie.

"What did you just say?" he growled again not even bothering to look at Han.

"I said our princess wouldn't be able to confirm which dick is bigger, because she doesn't. I would know I walked in on them and I would have asked to join in if there was any real fun to be had" he sighed dramatically like it was all a giant joke "Isn't that right princess?"

"Changbin?" you whispered since the air that had been punched out of your lungs by the sight in front of you making it impossible for you to be able to actually speak Felix's eyes flicked to you momentarily, Bin did something to the gun that made it click and your brain shut down sending you into autopilot. You strode across the room and put yourself between them Bin's gun touching your chest instead.

"If you want to kill Lix you kill me first" you snapped fear and anger mingling and mixing in your blood. Bin lowered his gun in a heartbeat his eyes changing rapidly from rage to horror before filling with tears.

"Doll" he gasped dropping the pistol to the floor which Chan dived to get before anyone changed their minds.

"Seo Changbin you are a fucking arsehole" you continued voice shaking "I kissed Felix, I started it he asked me a dozen times if I was sure" you swallowed hard knowing you were airing this in front of everyone "You hadn't told me you loved me, you hadn't don anything but yell at me, telling me you killed people and I was fucking terrified, Felix did nothing wrong so you want to take this out on someone then take it out on me not him. I won't let you hurt my friend or yours" no one said anything until Felix stood from behind you.

"Bubs never, ever stand in front of a gun without its safety on again! You scared the shit out of me just now" He exhaled his hand on your shoulder squeezing comfortingly.

"Sorry Felix" you mumbled "I should just let him shoot you next time?" the adrenaline in your system keeping you from crumbling.

"He wasn't going to shoot me" Felix sighed.

"Well not fatally anyway" Changbin grumbled making Felix look horrified "Hey I wasn't going to actually kill you unless you admitted to it"

"Fucking dramatic arseholes" Minho groaned pinching his nose, the others instantly relaxing.

"That was incredibly dangerous though little one, Lix is right never walk in front of a loaded gun" Chan scolded you. You didn't answer, you couldn't not when you just saw the man who swore to keep you safe turn into the very thing you feared most in that moment. Instead you just fled out of the meeting room blindly and up to the room that you had been given locking the door behind you so that no one could get in.

The day slowly passed and you hadn't answered when Changbin pleaded with you to let him in or when Felix came to check on you apologizing through the door, you had totally ignored Chan and Minho too when they asked you to come out to eat something it was only when your phone started ringing did you realize that Changbin was probably camped outside your door calling you repeatedly which just made you turn your phone to silent determined to not give him the time of day. Mrs Choi had knocked to deliver you some dinner to your room shooing Changbin or whoever was in the hallway away while she made sure you took the food.

Falling asleep after dinner meant you were awake again by three in the morning you could hear what you assumed to be Changbin snoring on the other side of your door and when you checked your phone you had multiple messages from each of them Hyunjin checking if you needed anything but made no attempt to coax you out, Jeongin begged you to come out just to stop the constant whining from Changbin but you only really read the single line message that had been sent by Han

"He's in love with you he just wants to protect that love"

You read it over and over again, you hadn't stopped to really think about the whole scenario you were too terrified that your boyfriend had pointed a gun at another friend and you had tried to stop it from escalating. You didn't think about the gun, you knew Changbin wasn't going to hurt you, but you never thought that violence between them would happen either. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe although you did love him that wasn't enough for you to not have to worry you would set him off and someone else would have to pay the consequences. If you hadn't run out of tears already you would have broken down when the realization that you would have to walk away from two men you loved and the friends of theirs that you had grown fond of, maybe moving to another city would do or maybe your would have to move back to a rural town and find away to survive. There was no other answer your tired mind could come up with.

When morning finally came around you looked terrible but you hoped a hot shower and make up could at least mask some of the obvious signs that you were broken, even if the feeling did compliment the whole cover of a family emergency. You dressed yourself for work in your standard pencil skirt suit and fixed yourself up before slowly opening the door and after double checking that the coast was clear quietly making your way down stairs.

"She has every right to be angry, hurt, terrified or all of the above" you heard Minho grumble as you made your way towards the kitchen.

"I know" Changbin groaned frustratedly "I fucked it up on a massive fucking scale I know that, but I can't change it now can I?" he sounded annoyed and tired which made you feel nervous.

"No you can't and if she wants to leave after this is done you have to let her" Chan snapped "both of you" his words were harsh and he sounded aggravated which caused even more panic to fly through your system.

"Or we could just let her collect her thoughts" Jeongin suggested softly you could almost picture the soothing expression on his face "You, Felix and probably Chan scared her yesterday and that probably has shaken her more than anything she has been through so far".

"He has a point" Hyunjin interjected "she was scared of bad guys who were trying to hurt the both of you and yesterday you two became the bad guys when you decided that airing your dirty laundry needed to be done in front of all of us".

"She would be so embarrassed that we all know she made out with Lix, let alone that she had to admit it" Minho finished "Which was super fucking stupid on your part by the way".

"I know" you heard Felix sighed he sounded almost as defeated as you felt and if you hadn't been so scared of the anger in the room or how much you were sure leaving was the best idea you would have run in to comfort him "We fucked everything up".

You took a deep breath to center yourself before you silently entered the kitchen surprising them as you easily walked past them all wordlessly made yourself a coffee.

"Doll?" Changbin questioned hopefully, but you ignored him hoping they would all get the hint that you were going to remain silent.

"Bubs?" Felix sighed and you ignored him too just pouring milk into your coffee before turning back towards the door.

"Baby, please" Changbin tried again his hand reaching for your arm making you flinch away slightly his eyes widening.

"Please don't touch me" you almost whimpered your voice scratchy from not yet being used as you stepped back from him.

"Doll, you can't be afraid of me, it's me" he mumbled looking genuinely pained by your reaction.

"Don't, please, just don't I can't deal with this right now" you whispered you were almost as scared now as you had been the very first night you had been brought to the company with him, your brave knight in shining armor who would move mountains to protect you. But now you had seen what he could be right in front of you it frightened you, but it terrified you more to know you still wanted him regardless. His arm dropped in defeat as you scurried out of the kitchen to sit somewhere else in the house until the time came for you to leave. No one in the kitchen spoke, Felix hung his head while Hyunjin sighed in sadness, the others looking between each other for some sort of idea of what to say.

"How do we make this plan work if she is too scared to even speak" Minho mused not really ready to face the seemingly obvious pain that was going to come from ending this whole mess.

"I'll be right back" Han shrugged leaving them after he had managed to stay silent through everything so far.

"Whatever Han, we have to think how to reorganize things if she is going to not be able to go through with this" Jeongin nodded trying to come up with a new plan.

"There you are princess" Han smiled brightly if not slightly insanely at you coming over to sit on the staircase with you "you still going to be able to do this?"

"I just want this over with Han" you admitted quietly sipping the coffee you had made yourself.

"I saw you read my message" he continued smiling.

"I did I read it a lot of times to be honest" you admitted putting your mug down beside you "I know he loves me but it's one thing for me to know it's a whole other thing for me to see it".

"He scared you that badly after everything you have been through since you got here? I thought you were tougher than that?" he teased sweetly almost gently.

"I was scared he would hurt Felix, I was scared he would get hurt, I was scared of what you guys do" you explained chewing your lip "But I'm terrified that I am alright with it, that I might be able to love him regardless of the pain and chaos he might inflict of others". You looked at Han who far too pleased with your admission and it just clicked that maybe the fear was a sign that you should run but that you didn't have to.

"Love is meant to frighten you princess that's what makes it fun" He grinned giddily.

"Has anyone told you lately you're actually very philosophical for a madman?" you sighed checking your phone and standing up.

"Not today but I'm glad you noticed princess" he waggled his eyebrows at you suggestively making you snort. "Let's go get the big guy it's time to be that bad arse mafia queen you are meant to be" his eyes sparked as he led you back to the kitchen where the others were still trying to figure out how to make this work for you.

"Changbin, we need to leave I can't be late the first day back to work" You announced to the group breaking your silence with them.

"Are you sure little one?" Chan questioned cautiously "We don't have to do this you can stay here another day if that would help".

"I want this over with Chan" you smiled as believably as possible at him "I want to go back to having a normal life".

"Are you sure you want that?" Bin asked you softly still aware you were upset since you used his name and not a nickname but you totally missed the inference he was making to you about whether you wanted the life you had before of the life you could have with him.

"Yes" you nodded noting the pained expression on some of their faces but you didn't understand the reason for it other than you were about to put yourself in danger.

"Let's go baby" he whispered leaving the kitchen quickly as you hurried to keep up with him scooping up your shoes on the way past the staircase.

Changbin drove silently for the first few minutes he seemed to be struggling to find the words to tell you he was sorry or what he was thinking when it all went wrong yesterday but you didn't mind you were still trying to figure out what you wanted to say back.

"Binnie" you finally squeaked "Are you all sure I'll be ok today?" you tried to keep your voice even so you didn't worry him more than he already was.

"Baby you will be fine" he breathed out seeming to relax slightly "We are all either nearby or watching, there are guys inside to help you and you have our numbers to call us if you need to" he soothed tentatively reached his hand over to put on your thigh, which you allowed you were still having too many emotions to think about the incident yesterday.

"Binnie, we will need to talk about what happened but I can't right now it's too much" you whispered looking down at his hand cautiously putting your own on top of it "But I need you to play my boyfriend today so that I can get through this bit".

"I am your boyfriend baby, I don't need to pretend" he smiled you turned to watch him as he continued to watch the road his lips quirking up when he felt your gaze on him. "When we pull up I will go round to open your door, the whole point of this is to draw attention, women will notice a gentleman helping his girl from the car and kissing her goodbye, men will notice the car either way there are a lot of witnesses who will remember your arrival if anything was to happen". You nodded understanding that

He pulled up in front of your office a just slightly before when you would normally arrive, getting out to walk his way around the car to help you out of your side. You could see the businessmen all taking looks at the cars some younger ones even stopping to get a proper look at it. Letting go of your hand he helped you into your blazer then pulled you to him to kiss you goodbye, it was supposed to be a peck but Bin poured his love into his kiss showing you exactly how he felt.

"I'll pick you up for lunch baby" he smirked noticing your slightly flushed face "Now be brave baby you have work to do".

Walking through the lobby you noticed the guy Seungmin had planted standing next to the desk you assumed that it gave him the best scope for the room but either way you knew where he was. You met a few of the usual interns at the elevators and took them up together chatting and talking about everyone's weekends before you got to your floor. Your desk looked exactly like it did the day you had left over a week ago with the exception of a neat stack of files that the director was going to need for his meetings today, you flicked through quickly to make sure they matched the diary and noticed that the appointment before lunch was Mr A which made blanch slightly.

"Good Morning miss" a friendly voice spoke from behind you.

"Oh good morning" you chirped politely turning around to come face to face with another of Seungmin's men making you smile in relief "Have you been interning long?".

"My second week miss but I'm hoping to learn from you, everyone says you are the most valuable of the assistants here" he smiled looking at the files on your desk.

"Well that is kind of them, has anyone shown you how preparing files for the meetings is done? I have some here that I can show you with" you moved around your desk and gestured for him to follow. "All that needs to be done is that you double check that the correct file has been matched to the correct appointment. As you can see here Director Kim has an appointment with Mr Park at ten this morning and then another with Mr A at eleven" flipping open the file you moved your finger to show him pretend points while he nodded knowingly.

"I'll let the boss know" he whispered as he continued to follow along with your fake instructions.

"Have you been assigned a mentor yet?" you quirked your eyebrow at him.

"Not yet miss" he answered continuing to play the part of a clueless intern.

"I'll find one for you then come back to my desk in an hour and I'll have figured something out for you" he nodded making himself quickly scarce as Director Kim walked into the office eyes pinpointing you instantly.

"Good morning my dear, I'm so glad you are back with me" he purred attempting to take your hand which you filled with the files you were holding.

"Morning Director, I hope you had a lovely weekend, these are this mornings appointments and I can bring you your morning coffee if you like" you smiled politely staying on the opposite side of the desk from him.

"Yes my dear, could you arrange that for me now" he grinned looking at his files. You swallowed hard and nodded your head waiting for him to move to his office before moving from the spot you were in. You made your way to the the kitchen area to prepare his coffee hoping that you looked normal and not like you were trying to hide how disgusted and panicked you were.

"Miss?" another young man's voice turned your attention towards the other side of the kitchen, you recognized him as Seungmin's other insider.

"Good morning" you smiled relieved.

"I am around all day if you need assistance, or any memos to be passed between the departments" he continued to smile at you.

"Thank you, I sent a memo out with another intern I assume that you will have seen it too?" you asked trying to keep us the ruse.

"Yes miss, there is no need to worry we are both here" he nodded goodbye and left you to finish making coffee.

You took your time making the coffee trying to wait until the director was on a phone call or when someone else was in his office but you realized it would look strange if you didn't behave normally so you had to suck it up and pretend you were the girl you were a month ago when there was no fear, no threat and no boyfriend in the mafia. Walking the tray to the door you knocked once before letting yourself in, you purposely left the door open as you delivered the coffee and a pastry. Before anything could be said his phone rang making him look slightly annoyed before you took your leave quickly shutting the door behind you. If this was all you would have to do for the rest of the work day you could definately do that.

The rest of the morning at least ran smoothly despite your planted intern not being able to return to you, you had passed a dozen calls to the Director meaning you spent no time with him and when his first appointment arrived you were quite happy to go down a retrieve him from the ground floor waiting area, you were growing more confident that the day would run smoothly, until you noticed that both of Suengmin's people had been asked to assist other team members just before the appointment you had been dreading was due to start.

Mr A, or Mingi as you learned was his real name from Chan, had entered the office just before his 'appointment' with Director Kim he never waited like any of the legitimate clients did in the lounge which normally annoyed you but under the current circumstances you were pleased that you didn't have to be alone with him while you brought him upstairs to the offices. You had tried your hardest to not feel frightened instead channeling all the anger you possibly could into acting out that your were completely normal as so far it seemed to be working as Mingi passed your desk he smirked at you and winked making you raise your eyebrow and turn away from him which you knew he could be offended by but you didn't care in ninety minutes you would be back with Binnie and hopefully Mingi would be very far away from you. You heard the door close and turned back to your desk looking for your phone just in case you needed it to update Bin or the others about what was going on. Your desk phone chimed letting you know that you were required by Director Kim, feeling the bile rise in your throat you took a deep breath picking up your phone, notepad and pen and going into his office, nothing was going to happen after all you had two back ups in your office and one downstairs you would be fine.

"There you are pet" your boss purred smiling as you stepped into his office.

"Apologies, Director" you smiled knowing that it probably didn't reach your eyes so you lowered your head to cover it.

"No need for that my dearest, Mr A and I just need you to take a few notes regarding his file, please sit" he gestured for you to sit beside Mr A  on the lounge suit that he often used for meetings. Your blood ran cold as you sat realizing too slowly that you were now in the furthest spot from the door.

"Your assistant is very beautiful, Kim, are you sure you still want to do this the risk has increased" Mingi smirked his voice making your skin crawl as he lent closer to you inspecting you face and chest. He raised his hand to move a lock of hair that had come lose from your hair pin. You tried your hardest not to flinch not wanting to show how disgusted you felt.

"She is isn't she, that is why I was willing to risk so much" Kim smirked in return his eyes racking over your form making you feel dread as you tried to subtly unlock your phone to get help.

"No phones" Mingi snapped nastily snatching the device from you and making you shrink back from him.

"Now now there is no need for any annoyance Mr A, she is a very good girl" Kim leered at you his eyes seeming to zero in on you thighs which made you shuffle back into the seat further.

"I understand but my associates have not been so happy with this arrangement now that they know who she is" Mingi sighed leaning back on the chair watching you closely as your face continued to pale. You knew you were in huge trouble now and the only hope was that Felix could see what was happening on the cameras or that Seungmin's guys would realize you were missing. " They can't see you I had the camera disabled sweetheart, and that little intern they planted yesterday has been dealt with for the moment".

"What" you gasped horrified that perhaps you were totally alone now.

"Why does that matter, once she's carrying my child her pathetic little criminal boyfriend wont want her anyway" Kim grinned disgustingly making you try to make for the door as fast as you could. But Mingi was faster than you, catching your waist before you could even get half way to the door.

"No! Don't touch me!" you struggled against him uselessly for a moment before understanding that he was far too strong for a simply struggling to work now that your back was pressed against his chest.

"Now, now none of this, its time you behave yourself and let my uncle fuck that baby into you" he growled into your ear, his hands sliding down to your hips. You wanted to vomit but you knew you had to keep your head to get yourself out into the main part of the office. You were frozen as his hands traveled lower down your legs pulling the fabric of the skirt up until it reached almost the top of your thighs. "I can't wait to watch your pretty little pussy take my uncle's cock, maybe he will even let me fuck you afterwards since you caused us so much trouble".

"Don't please don't" you sobbed as Mingi manhandled you over to the desk pulling your skirt all the way up to your waist to expose your underwear. You grit your teeth knowing you needed to keep you head, you had to get out now no matter the cost. Mingi moved to the side of you groping your arse roughly as he grinned sadistically.

"Come on uncle, I want to see a show after everything we have put up with to get her here" he sneered down at your now tear streaked face. You could hear a belt buckle being undone and knew it was now or never.

"Fuck you Mingi" you snapped viciously yanking your arm closer to your face and biting down on his hand until you could taste blood. Mingi swore letting go of you for a moment which you used to smack him as violently as you could in the abdomen with the heaviest thing you could reach on the desk before pushing yourself up and running to wrench open the door and fleeing blindly as you attempted to get your skirt down your legs.

"You little bitch" Mingi shouted after you "I'll fucking kill you".

You had lost one shoe in the struggle in the office so you slipped out of your remaining shoe and ran as fast as you could to the stairs, with Mingi following you you were never going to be able to wait for the lift he would catch you and you would rather fall down a flight of stairs then let that happen.

"FUCK" Felix yelled as his screens started blacking out in certain sections of your office, hitting speed dial Changbin picked up instantly.

"Bin you need to get in there now something is wrong" he instructed before hanging up and dialing Chan who was on standby near your office with Han and Minho.

"Felix?" Chan answered quickly.

"I'm losing screens Mingi knows were watching" he explained rapidly "They must have made that we were inside the office".

"Were leaving now" Chan called to the others before speaking to him again "Bin?".

"I called him first" Felix swallowed hard before hanging up.

"What's happening?" Jeongin asked walking into the meeting room to see what Felix was so angry about.

"They know we have eyes inside we need Seungmin to contact his guys I've sent the others already" Felix growled trying to reinstate his connection to your office's security feed.

"On it, she'll be fine though man she's tough" Jeongin tried to calm his brother while calling Seungmin to explain.

Changbin had arrived at your building to find people milling around everywhere after an apparent 'evacuation drill' that no one had known was happening. He figured out quickly that you were not among the others from your floor so you must still be inside which in all honesty made him start to panic. Seungmin arrived a moment later a look of thunderous anger splashed across his face.

"My guys have just located one of my guys inside, we need to get in there" He snarled his eyes burning.

"Chan and the others will be here in a few should we start looking from the ground up or split up" he growled making his way through the employees to the main doors where they entered despite the regular securities protests.

"I still have two guys inside so they better have sorted this out" Seungmin barked in reply now looking almost as worried as angry.

"Where is the third one anyway?" he asked pulling his gun and stalking further into the building.

"Half dead. They put two in him but only hit one lung and his stomach" Seungmin answered looking desolate.

"Fuck, at least he's alive which is far more than what Mingi will be after this" he growled his anger growing with each step they took through the empty lobby. The lift doors dinged and opened revealing the security guard plant and Director Kim who was being led away towards the back entrance to the car park giving hushed instructions he thought would help him.

"Bin keep your cool we need to find your girl first" Seungmin hissed keeping his own weapon concealed behind him as they passed.

"I want to take my time with that piece of shit" he muttered savagely.

You continued through the stair wells hoping that you could somehow beat Mingi to either the ground floor or to somewhere you could lock yourself in until someone discovered you. He was still screaming threats at you from the floor above and his yells were getting closer but each exit you came across was either locked or empty of people so you kept going. You were physically exhausted making it down eleven floors worth of stairs already still hearing Mingi as he rattled door handles and slamming open doors looking for you somewhere above you. That was until you opened the 8th floor and almost fell into Hyunjin's arms making him lower his gun instantly and hold you tight as you began to cry hysterically into his suit jacket finally feeling like you could breathe again.

"Got her" he announced sounding relieved before he noticed how wrecked you looked, your skirt hitched so far up your legs that there was no way you had done it yourself to ease your running and the red marks and blood smeared on your arms. "8th NOW" he snapped heatedly his voice tightening in anger.

"Hyunjin" you garbled out between your body wracking sobs your legs giving way as he bundled you onto his left side in case he still needed to use his weapon.

"Shh princess I'll kill anyone who isn't ours that walks through that door" he soothed as best he could his hand hesitating to help you adjust your clothing as you shook in his arms.

"Hyunjin where is our kitten?" Minho called from the other side of the room making his way towards you as Hyunjin continued to slowly move you back from the door to keep more distance between any potential danger. You were not paying much attention to anything outside the sound of their voices.

"Princess can you hold onto Minho for me? It will be easier to keep you safe that way" his voice was still tight but he was trying to be gentle with you, you nodded letting go of his jacket and letting Minho bundle you up in his jacket and pull you against him. His suit jacket was long enough to cover more of your legs which were still almost completely bare but you couldn't even fix it you were too overwhelmed and emotional to even do that. Banging and yelling started coming from the other side of the stairwell door making you cling even tighter to Minho your knuckles tuning white with how tightly you were gripping his shirt.

"Mingi" you gasped pointing at the door frantically as Chan arrived taking in your messy hair and near catatonic state, he quickly stepped into your field of vision so that you would focus on him slowly approaching you to stroke your hear smoothing it down slightly.

"Hi there little one, your'e safe now" Chan soothed "Bin where the fuck are you?" he asked trying to not sound aggressive into what you realized were ear pieces they were wearing. The stairway door flew open and you hid in Minho's chest rather than see Mingi's face again but instead of his threats you heard the opposite.

"Move and I will make you wish for a quick death cunt" Bin's voice cold and ruthless filtered to your ears.

"Binnie?" you hiccuped, tears still pouring down your face, he stepped over Mingi both Chan and Hyunjin taking over from him, Chan's gun in his face as Hyunjin zip tied his hands behind his back. The blood dripping from his wrist and the pained groan that he emitted made Hyunjin realize why you had blood on your shirt sleeve. Binnie just left them to it not seeming to care as he wrapped both his arms around you and cradled you against his chest.

"I'm here baby, I've got you" he murmured into your hair as he ran his hands over Minho's suit jacket trying to sooth the obvious fear and pain from you.

"Can we go home now?" you whimpered sounding less hysterical than when you had found Hyunjin but still far too panicked and breathy for him to be comfortable moving you yet.

"Did you lose your shoes doll?" Bin whispered looking down at your feet pointedly hoping to get you slightly calmer before he took you to the car. You nodded concentrating hard on his face as you turned to look at him.

"They took my phone" you rasped your throat sore from the crying.

"That alright baby, one of the kids will get it back from you" he spoke carefully as your body started sagging against him your breathing getting lighter again. "I'm going to carry you baby. We need to get you down to the car and away from here alright?" His question was difficult for you to concentrate on so you simply nodded as he moved slowly to lift you up so you were nestled against his chest.

" Minho cover us?" He looked towards his brother who nodded sharply as the tree of you made your way towards the lift. You didn't really notice anything other than the heat radiating off his body as he held you close to him until he opened the passenger door of his car, and he and Minho helped you to get in mutely letting him put your seat belt on you, Minho held your hand while Bin get into the car and got himself situated.

"Look after her Bin, I'll call the doc to treat her when you get home" Minho sighed looking worried for you.

"You know I will" he nodded starting the car and driving away from your office. "I'm sorry for everything baby doll, I'm sorry for yesterday, I'm sorry for today, I'm sorry for this whole stupid plan and I'm sorry that I fuck everything I touch up"

"I love you Bin" you sniffled gripping his hand tightly.

A/N: This chapter was heavier than the others but I think it's necessary for the plot. I appreciate all your comments, reblogs or likes they mean so much to me and keep me writing. Special shout out to @christopher-bangnaldoskzz for helping a bitch out xx

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