#SeniorDontPutOnThatLipstick

[idontwanttowhy]

Review: She Would Never Know/Sunbae, Don’t Put On That Lipstick (2021)

Boring main leads, intriguing and thoughtful side story

Synopsis

Secrets are revealed as new cosmetic marketing hire Chae Hyun-seung romantically pursues his job trainer and sunbae/senior Yoon Song-ah. He soon discovers Song-ah has been, for 2 years, secretly dating their boss Lee Jae-shin, who was more recently pressured into a secret marriage arrangement to his long-time admirer Lee Hyo-joo, the younger sister of his childhood friend and grandson to the CEO of the company, Lee Jae-woon. Hyun-seung’s sister Chae Ji-seung gets wrapped up in the mess, and his other sister, Chae Yeon-seung, slowly realizes her husband Kang Woo-Hyun’s biggest secret. 

AC Overall

I stomached the first few episodes, but once it was clear the leads (obviously) were going to end up together with fewer hiccups than deserved, I read episode recaps and only watched the scenes related to the other couples. And I’m so glad I did! The mains have a typical sunbae-hubae coworker dynamic: (insignificantly older) woman recruits and trains a younger man, who dotes on her and, despite being friend-zoned, manages to woo her. Nothing wrong with this, but often it’s not done tastefully--and this may be worse than usual. I typically like when the male leads are more into the female leads, but this guy was pu-shy. You know what, this whole drama was a seemingly un-purposeful crash-course on manipulation, from Hyun-seung to Jae-shin and Hyo-joo...all mess.

The side characters, however, were who I kept watching for. Specifically the sisters, with love stories of their own: one blossoming while the other’s unraveled. Ji-seung’s relationship with Jae-woon, the chairman’s grandson, was soooo adorable and silly--really balanced out the drama. Because the unraveling of Yeon-seung and Woo-hyun’s marriage? Could’ve been a whole drama by itself.

So, She Would Never Know (2021) is worth it for the sides, but the mains? Not so much. 

AC Review (spoilers)

Some things to get off my chest before we get into the main (side) event: Hyun-seung inserted himself everywhere he didn’t need to be--overstepping and excusing it as “helping”. Gaslighting King. I did NOT agree with his actions--if someone with whom you have a trainer-trainee relationship is being cheated on, how much of a responsibility do you have to let that person know? From what we saw, he and Song-ah got along at work and everything but didn’t have a relationship outside of work, so big question mark there! Even if you’d still let them know, the way Hyun-seung did it was distasteful. Blindly forcing Song-ah to catch “the man she puts lipstick on for” (I wish they kept the literal title, not sure the “English” one does it justice--or maybe it does, because She Would Never Know how repulsive her future boyfriend’s tactics were...)--at Jae-shin and Hyo-joo’s WEDDING PLANNING CONSULTATION??? And homeboy really thought his conniving would make Song-ah immediately go “fuck the man I’ve enthusiastically dated for 2 years, I’ll be with you now”?? Hyun-seung was goading her into being just plain nasty about it too, constantly *whiny baby voice*: “wHy ArEn’T yOu MaD”, throwing fits (and fists) at work whenever Song-ah and Jae-shin interacted and she wasn’t literally SPITTING on her BOSS and JUMPING on her TRAINEE’s dick---Hyun-seung was a whole five-year-old! Basically, his character shows why you don’t go for immature younger men...because geeeez...So obviously I had to skip the mains’ relationship development. Song-ah deserved more than Hyun-seung, and I hated that he got her in the end with little self-reflection. She did take her time though, I’ll give her that. And she needed to! Jae-shin had traumatized her by not accepting that their relationship had to end, and with Hyun-seung simultaneously in her ear like a parrot--would’ve been enough for me to swear off men for at least 10 years. Glad Song-ah ditched Hyun-seung and ran away to pursue her career at the end too. (And yeah, Jae-shin was an asshole too, not taking no for an answer and going to extremes to get Song-ah back and all, but with his past it felt more...justified? Not excusable, just...I get it. And he was attempting to balance his own desires with the Lee family’s mess, particularly the manipulation by Hyo-joo---threatening s*****e for a man is no way to bag him, girl. SO glad she finally got herself together by the end, and moved on from both him and playing the victim in general. With little animosity towards Jae-shin too! Growth.)

If you want to read a very thoughtful review that further fleshes out my issues with the main relationship gracefully: https://seoulbeats.com/2021/03/she-would-never-know-toxic-relationships-have-never-looked-so-stylish/

Dead Fish (buckle up, this is a marathon)

So, the plot of Woo-hyun and Ryu Han-seo’s relationship is what kept me watching. First off, well acted(?) because I picked up on Han-seo and Woo-hyun being or at least having been romantically involved from jump, and knew I couldn’t just stop watching the drama because---I had to know if I was just fishing for a non cis-het relationship in a chlorine swimming pool, or if there was in fact a fish and I’d been fishing in the ocean this whole time. AND there WAS a fish (but it was already dead).

*exasperated sigh*

I felt for everyone involved: Yeon-seung questions her whole relationship after finding out her husband had “done stuff” with another man--his only friend, Han-seo--during college; Woo-hyun fervently denies that he’s gay; bestie Han-seo had been sticking around despite clearly being in love with someone who CANNOT reciprocate...it’s all just UGH. 

But I especially felt for Yeon-seung. Her questioning everything did not only stem from her husband’s MSM past but reminded her of the incompleteness of their relationship, marked by the lack of ANY “I love yous”(how can you only have said “thank you” in response? To your WIFE of how long?!)...my heart nearly exploded. Because she seemed to have known something was always off but accepted it as her hubby’s personality, and that nothing is perfectly perfect, right? I can’t blame her for that; her reason for being with him was that at dinner dates he would stop eating and intently LISTEN to her whenever she talked which, is rare. And for her part, worth forgiving a little lack of verbal affirmation. But the real nail in the coffin was Woo-hyun not only keeping this ex-lover around, but actively hiding him from her all those years--they had never met until she began working again, and what kills me even more is that shit wouldn’t have blown up had she not innocently befriended her husband’s friend, god forbid! And Han-seo--he really shouldn’t have stuck around as he did knowing his continued feelings, Woo-hyun’s own confusion, and the whole part where there’s a whole ass wife and adorable daughter involved--kinda reckless. Not that he was wooing Woo-hyun (had to do it, I should try poetry next), but rather torturing both himself and his love. I don’t know that Woo-hyun’s necessarily gay-if you don’t identify you don’t identify-but he’s clearly got some questions, or heavy guilt at the very least, surrounding his sexuality that continue to eat him up inside, and that’s no way to live. So while I feel for Woo-hyun’s internal struggle, he and Han-seo are clearly masochists because they did this to themselves, and without caring about others involved. If I were Yeon-seung, I’d be livid and distraught and everything in-between--truly don’t know how she kept it basically together in front of her siblings with that can of worms sitting right there in front of her. Which only added to my emotions--I’m true water sign FOR REAL. My scorpio ass would’ve been bawling and isolating myself until I figured out how to burn the world down.

Gracefully and beautifully, the story evolved and became less about his sexual past/sexuality and more about whether he was living as full of a life as he could be if he just accepted his past and his self for whatever it was and is. And that’s what I could not appreciate enough about the way their story was written. Woo-hyun ended up taking time to himself at his wife’s suggestion, encouragement, and support, and Han-seo stepped away, choosing not to continue to torture himself and the person he loves. 

This is one thing I appreciate in dramas--the human experience. Discovery, confrontation, forced reckoning--all good entertainment but also palpable situations. And it makes you...or at least me...put myself in the shoes of all the characters to explore motivations, feelings--conniptions of my own as well as theirs. It reminded me of a similar relationship hurdle (although the people involved were only briefly dating) represented in the HBO show Insecure--directly speaking to some things people have had to face in relationships, and within, as a direct consequence of homophobia prevalent in so many communities. It made me think of what I would say or do if I was in this situation, and I can only hope to remain supportive of my partner as they dig through their feelings. So, loved this plot of the drama and the loving message of taking care of your self and those you love; it’s just a shame that it was paired with the nonsense that was the lead coupling.