#Self-Portrait as a Coffee Pot

[rrrauschen]

William Kentridge, {2022} Self-Portrait as a Coffee Pot. Episode 2: Self-Portrait as a Coffee-Pot

[revacholianpizzaagenda]

Vladimir Mayakovsky and Lilya Brik as Dobreva and Abadanaiz? Genderswapped Mayakovsky and Brik as Dobreva and Abadanaiz perhaps? "Forbidden" lovers inasmuch one of them was technically married but their spouse didn't mind...? Is this something?

[sxsilly2]

ed distractions

all of this is from distractions.carrd.co!!

out and about - ☆ people-watch ☆ sit outside ☆ go window shopping ☆ try out clothes w/o buying them ☆ get a mani/pedi ☆ cloud-watch ☆ make a shopping list ☆ go on a shopping spree ☆ find a new location in your city to visit on google maps ☆ go stargazing ☆ go to the library ☆ go thrifting ☆ pick flowers ☆ go to a new coffee shop you haven’t been to ☆ go camping ☆ go to a museum ☆ go to a park and draw people walking by ☆ see a movie in theaters

moving - ☆ play tennis ☆ ride your bike ☆ go swimming ☆ make your own workouts ☆ swing ☆ make a playlist of workouts ☆ climb something ☆ go for a jog ☆ take a walk ☆ go hiking ☆ do some yoga ☆ do your work out routine ☆ pilates ☆ stretch

creative - ☆ draw, add a pos over it and draw all over again ☆ make a collage out of book pages ☆ make flower arrangements ☆ style your school uniform ☆ copy celebrities’ signature looks w things in your closet ☆ draw many puzzle pieces ☆ make your own zentangles ☆ create your own signature symbol ☆ dry flowers and make a flower diary ☆ learn to crochet ☆ make gift cards for your friends ☆ make a google docs template ☆ copy tattoos w a marker ☆ make stickers ☆ create your own digital museum ☆ make friendship bracelets ☆ make a diy bath bomb ☆ make a movie ☆ tye dye a t-shirt ☆ make playlists for moments ☆ write a letter ☆ decorate an envelope ☆ write jokes ☆ scribble and turn it into a drawing ☆ splash paint onto paper ☆ try to recreate art ☆ recreate notion/carrd pages you see online ☆ make a graphic novel ☆ build a fantasy world ☆ draw a map ☆ draw a webtoon ☆ decorate a notebook ☆ collect dried leaves ☆ make tattoo ideas ☆ do commissions ☆ draw pixel art ☆ make powerpoint templates ☆ make a subliminal playlist ☆ make edits of ppl ☆ make a notion template ☆ write a cringey wattpad novel ☆ write fanfiction ☆ decorate flower pots ☆ paint your phone case ☆ make diets for your fav characters ☆ write a love // hate letter ☆ make lyrics out of random words ☆ paint rocks ☆ decorate a hat ☆ cut out your clothes to make new ones ☆ up-cycle thrifted clothes ☆ draw on your wall ☆ make a bullet journal ☆ doodle on anything around you ☆ memorize a poem/song ☆ come up w original thread ideas ☆ make jewelry ☆ make soap ☆ crochet // knit ☆ draw a self-portrait ☆ draw w your eyes closed ☆ scrapbook ☆ paint some cloth ☆ animate something ☆ start a dream journal ☆ start a blog ☆ bake a cake ☆ cook something new ☆ create new outfits ☆ color ☆ learn origami ☆ draw an original character and give them their own backstory ☆ color-code your google calendar ☆ draw your dream home in detail ☆ paint on a canvas bag ☆ make a jar filled w movie titles and pull one out randomly to watch ☆ start your own private instagram account as a digital diary ☆ write a screenplay ☆ direct your own movie ☆ make lists

educational - ☆ research a random topic (then make a presentation on it) ☆ learn all the countries on a certain continent ☆ learn all countries’ capitals ☆ educate yourself ☆ catch up on current events ☆ go on a study space and study ☆ join a google classroom ☆ take a masterclass ☆ sign up for a course ☆ practice public speaking ☆ finish your assignments ☆ improve your memory ☆ memorize things ☆ organize your notes ☆ learn a new study technique ☆ learn morse code ☆ annotate a book ☆ learn curse words in other languages ☆ learn how to play an instrument ☆ pick up a new skill ☆ learn some psychology tips ☆ learn some cool facts ☆ learn a new language on duolingo ☆ learn about finances

hang out with yourself - ☆ induce a glow-up ☆ induce your honeymoon phase ☆ choose a signature smell ☆ interview yourself ☆ write about your day ☆ figure out a crisis you’ve been having ☆ romanticize your life ☆ get a signature look ☆ get on another twt side ☆ use subliminals ☆ put all your thoughts on paper ☆ decorate your personal journal ☆ watch a childhood movie ☆ go through your old playlists ☆ discover a hidden talent ☆ ask yourself weird questions ☆ write a love poem to yourself ☆ make a goal list ☆ create a vision board ☆ make a time capsule ☆ look at old photos ☆ write a will ☆ practice gratitude ☆ declutter your phone ☆ practice meditation ☆ make an online quiz about yourself ☆ create a five-year plan ☆ plan out your week ☆ write three short-term goals ☆ work on current goals ☆ use a body scrub ☆ do a hair mask ☆ take yourself out on a date ☆ plan YOU days ☆ journal your feelings ☆ write letters to your future self ☆ make a top-10 list of your fav anything ☆ examine your birth chart ☆ color or cut your hair ☆ start a happiness jar ☆ write down your manifestations // affirmations ☆ watch self-improvement videos ☆ give yourself a spa day ☆ update your resume

social life - ☆ facetime your friends ☆ interview someone ☆ do a virtual meet-up w friends ☆ get a penpal ☆ learn about recent drama ☆ boost your socials ☆ talk on spaces w your moots ☆ volunteer ☆ contact an old friend ☆ plan a meet-up w friends ☆ call a relative ☆ plan fun outings // themed nights for you and your friends ☆ hug someone

at-home - ☆ take a cold shower ☆ re-organize your bathroom ☆ try on your clothes ☆ take a bubble bath ☆ visit a digital museum ☆ paint your nails ☆ do a movie/book/game marathon ☆ clear out your closet ☆ drink water ☆ put together a skincare routine ☆ go through your emails ☆ use a bath bomb ☆ do a face mask ☆ plan your meals ☆ re-arrange your books ☆ clean your room ☆ have a picnic on the floor ☆ stick pictures to your walls ☆ organize your drawers ☆ redecorate your room ☆ clean your makeup brushes ☆ declutter your makeup ☆ organize your photos ☆ clean your electronics ☆ do your laundry ☆ take a nap ☆ make a fort ☆ clean your desk area ☆ print posters and decorate your walls ☆ brush your teeth ☆ back up your laptop and phone ☆ update your passwords ☆ clean your car

just for fun - ☆ pretend you’re vlogging ☆ plan a trip ☆ copy ppl’s insta stories ☆ pretend you’re a model ☆ plant a flower/tree ☆ play uno or another card game ☆ play scrabble ☆ make a tournament of a game like “true american” in new girl ☆ make an amazon list ☆ learn dances ☆ do a makeup tutorial ☆ play loud music ☆ do buzzfeed quizzes ☆ read a webtoon ☆ look at memes ☆ look at thinspo ☆ make a youtube channel ☆ watch vlogs ☆ count your money ☆ discover new makeup styles ☆ tweet something stupid ☆ google yourself ☆ read fanfiction ☆ find new music ☆ write online reviews ☆ read shein reviews ☆ sing karaoke ☆ play never have i ever ☆ play with bubbles ☆ try to rap ☆ recreate your fav movie scenes ☆ make a shrine ☆ make a treasure hunt ☆ play chess // checkers w yourself ☆ start a controversy over a stupid topic ☆ donate some money ☆ learn to hula-hoop ☆ do a sudoku ☆ save tweets to your bookmarks ☆ make a tbr list ☆ go through old ana forums ☆ take a survey ☆ make a wishlist for when you reach your ugw ☆ make an elaborate conspiracy theory ☆ play w legos ☆ start a new show ☆ make a new playlist ☆ listen to a podcast ☆ surf pinterest ☆ read a book ☆ make a bucket list ☆ shop online ☆ sell clothes online ☆ test out a new hairstyle ☆ look up recipes online ☆ watch true crime ☆ watch a rom-com ☆ play video games ☆ redo your phone layout to a new theme ☆ watch a yt documentary ☆ start your own cult ☆ try dimension shifting ☆ record your own videos of you talking to yourself ☆ re-organize your pinterest account and all your boards ☆ scream into a pillow ☆ go through the app store and look for cool apps

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Okay you got me. Tell me about PP 1980

Okay, so XD

Imagine you had a BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice that was 5 hours long, faithful to the book, and yet having a different perspective/understanding/interpretation of the characters and the story? That's P&P 1980 in a nutshell, and I think it is worth watching just for that. But here are some other concrete things it has going for it, specially in relation to other adaptations:

The casting is closer in age than 95, and on one specific important case, closer than 05 too: Lady Catherine de Bourgh is played by an actress in her mid 40s, and she nails the absolute Opinionated Facebook AuntTM thing that the character has going in the novel.

It's not the only case of closer accuracy to the book in characters: Mr Collins is a young, tall, big guy, whose main issue is being very small minded, petty, and obsequent, instead of recurring to "he's greasy or slimy" as other adaptations do.

If you agree/like the "Darcy has autism" headcanon, this is the adaptation that leans the most heavily into it (it does overdo it, in my opinion, but there's a very interesting contrast between the flat affect of his facial expression, and the richness of inflexion in his voice)

Elizabeth Garvie's Lizzy is just... extraordinary. This adaptation circumvents the Jane-as-prettier-than-Lizzy issue by casting as Lizzy an actress with big, dark, very expressive eyes, small features and a very lively, sharp countenance and manners, whereas Jane's actress is tall and graceful and has a general air of kindness and sweetness, but in a very youthful way.

Speaking of Jane, this adaptation focuses much more on the sisters as sisters, and gives special emphasis to Lizzy's love for Jane, which I appreciate a lot.

Also speaking of Jane, Jane and Bingley are the cutest in this. They are given time, and he's kind and sociable and sweet without being an idiot. This adaptation includes that great line of his about how he wouldn't mind Darcy so much if he wasn't so tall, and the following comment about how Darcy can be fastidious of a Sunday evening.

That way, this adaptation includes several fan favorite scenes/lines that don't usually make it to adaptation, such as Darcy asking Lizzy to dance a reel, Lizzy playing and singing at a party in Meryton, Caroline teasing Darcy about putting uncle and aunt Phillips on the Pemberley portrait gallery, and the "I cannot fix the hour or the spot..." line. EDIT: also, the coffee pot scene!! and the rivalry between Mrs Bennet and Lady Lucas!

I also think it balances well how awful, in different ways, both Mr and Mrs Bennet (EDIT: and she's not insufferably shrill!!!!) are as parents (unlike how 95 and 05 "pick sides"); it emphasizes how self centered her efforts are, and how lazy and callous he can be in his mockery and indolence.

The opening sequence of each episode is a roll of a hand-drawn summary of the events of the episode and that's such a lovely detail.

Mind you, the adaptation is not without its faults. The production values are not what we are accustomed to nowadays. Some acting and lines are stilted and/or awkward. It has the odd choice here and there that is involuntarily funny. But I don't think people need discouragement from seeing it. I don't even think most of the general Austen fandom is aware of its existence. For my part, it has become my favorite adaptation of P&P (that I have watched so far; I haven't gotten yet to either 1967 or the Italian one).

[laughingpinecone]

Making a "Best of..." list for once!

Here's my 2024 in new discoveries:

VIDEO GAME: with all due respect to everyone else, I played Outer Wilds in spring so the others can pack it up and go home. I also started Riven but still haven't finished it on behalf of being busy making my own games so it doesn't really count and I don't have to choose

FILM: Gomes's stunning Grand Tour came close, but that'll be Laura Citarella's Trenque Lauquen, all two parts and 4 hours of it (double screening. We brought quiche for the interlude). Cahiers du Cinema's best of 2023, my best of 2024.

BOOK: All due respect to Solaris and Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell and The Master and Margarita and Hopscotch and even Capitalist Realism, but 50 Years of Text Games is an inspiration to anyone with even a passing interest in IF. I feel like I owe it a lot so it takes the crown

THEATRE: Bildung by Compagnia Malmadur, hands down. I have no words to describe how deeply moving it was to listen to a guy recite by heart 12 minutes of dictionary.

Bildung è una ricerca teatrale su come si trasmette il sapere e su come imparando diventiamo noi stessi. “Divenire se stessi” non è solamente un processo intimo e individuale, ma è anche l’atto collettivo di autoformazione dell’umanità. “Divenire se stessi” è lo sforzo dell’essere umano di comprendersi e insieme di tramandare la propria eredità. Una tensione verso la conoscenza che è al contempo tensione verso un’impossibilità: diventare immortali. I due performer in scena, nella loro solitudine condivisa, attraversano le pratiche impiegate dall’uomo nel corso dei secoli per trasmettere ai posteri le proprie conoscenze e ritagliarsi un frammento di immortalità. L’oralità, l’immagine, la scrittura: forme generali di trasmissione del sapere intessute di tecniche mnemoniche, pedagogiche e creative, che non smettono mai di evolversi, fondersi, scomparire e ritornare.

TV SHOWS: William Kentridge's Self Portrait as a Coffee Pot. I ran into it as a Venice Biennale-adjacent pavillion and it turned up two days later on Mubi, v convenient (although I WAS willing and ready to haul my butt all the way back to Castello and sit there for a full screening, all 4.5h of it in a row, should it have come to that. Would've been worth it)

FAVE THING I MADE: c: (runner-up currently Yuletide-anon'd)

[robertogreco]

Self-Portrait as a Coffee Pot (trailer, more information at MUBI and TIFF):

Laying bare the creative process, Self-Portrait As A Coffee- Pot is a dazzling, nine-episode film series by South African artist William Kentridge, renowned for his animated drawings for projection, as well as his sculpture, theatre and opera productions over the last forty years. The nine-episode series, created and directed by William Kentridge, is executive produced by Rachel Chanoff and Noah Bashevkin of THE OFFICE PERFORMING ARTS + FILM, Joslyn Barnes of LOUVERTURE FILMS and the WILLIAM KENTRIDGE STUDIO, and edited by Walter Murch, Janus Fouché and Žana Marović.

[imagine-silk]

Can you do Sole who convinced the companions to let Sole paint a portrait of them, but when they see it, it turns out to be in a very surreal artstyle, where they can kind of recognize themselves, but it's still a very weird, bizzare artstyle?

I liked doing this because my best friend in senior year was taking AP classes for art so I knew a little bit. I didn't add all the companions for time and thought reasons.

[Cait] She didn't want to do it in the first place, but you wore her down. You kept asking her to move in different poses which she thought was weird but didn't say anything because she didn't know shite about art. She didn't know how to feel about the end result. It was all the poses overlapping on top of each other. But went she saw your stressed expression she gave you a thumbs up.

[Codsworths] You had a knack for painting and he has been a subject for you on many occasions. And as always he has nothing but praise.

[Piper] She wanted to know what you were doing but you wouldn't show her until it was done. And it was worth it. A front shot with the smoke from her cigerette warping her face. She almost wants to put it in the paper but she self admits she's too selfish to do that.

[Dogmeat] Everyone is scared of his portrait and that's all I'm going to say.

[Preston] He's more than happy to sit for you. To be honest it will be a good break for the both of you and it will show in the painting. There's a pot of coffee and bits of fancy-lads to serve as refreshments. The painting itself is loved from the time shared and hung in his house.

[Hancock] When he saw one of your paintings he asked you to paint him explaining his trips. There are multiple paintings around that no one understands except the two of you. Very rarely does he feature in them and when he does he's not noticable and is blurry, a small part of a large whole, take that information as you will.

[robotscrytoo]

SELF-PORTRAIT AS A COFFEE POT | Official Trailer | Coming Soon → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zTK_jCp89M

[abookishdreamer]

Character Intro: Theodon (Kingdom of Ichor)

Nicknames- Theo by the others

The Black Prince by the people of Olympius

Age- 15 (immortal)

Location- The Underworld

Personality- He's an intelligent young man with a nihilistic sense of humor. Far mature than his years he's comfortably introverted (but doesn't actively avoid people), mysterious, brutally honest, & non judgemental.

He has the standard abilities of a god except shapeshifting. As the god of reality, uncertainty, & fate his other powers/abilities include limited umbrakinesis, inducing the feeling of confusion or uncertainty in others, chronokinesis (not on par with his mother, but still quite powerful), reality manipulation, psychometry, and is able to communicate with his mother's sacred animal- the snake.

Theo lives in the Underworld with his mother Ananke (goddess of inevitability, compulsion, & neccessity).

His bedroom has a dark academia aesthetic with the color scheme being forest green, gold, cobalt, silver, and black. Many of his own original artwork & sketches cover the walls as well as renaissance paintings and posters of his favorite movies & musical acts. He also owns an antique record player (which he bought from Hades). There's also a bookshelf (built from obsidian) filled with many books, including pristine leather bound first editions.

Theo owns a pet- a dragon with pale silver-green scales named Amaris (who's usually his mode of transportation). Sometimes he likes to help out in his mother's herpetarium.

There's never a shortage of black liquid eyeliner, statement rings, & dark nail polish for him!

A notable feature of Theo is his impressive height. At the age of fifteen, he slightly towers over his mother at 6''3!

A go-to drink for him is roast coffee with just a bit of sugar. He also enjoys earl grey tea, beer, pomegranate cola, lavender tea, dark cherry cola, and taro bubble tea.

Theo is currently on break from school. The godly schoolmates he talks to the most include Koalemos (god of foolishness), Circe (goddess of sorcery), Dysnomia (goddess of anarchy & lawlessness), Cedalion (demi-god of smithing ore), and Telesphorus (Rusty) (god of rehabilitation). Other godly students include Eileithyia (Ella) (goddess of childbirth), Morá (goddess of babies & children), Eirene (goddess of peace), Philautia (goddess of self love), Eunomia (goddess of law & legislation), Eleos (Ellie) (goddess of mercy, pity, & compassion), and Eiresione (Ren) (goddess of offerings).

Outside of school he's close and hangs out with Ascalaphus, son of Acheron (Titan god of pain).

At school it's well known of his high grades in AP Philosophy, AP Calculus, and Underworld Studies. He's also part of the drama club & photography club.

Theo's even taking a few classes at the University like quantum physics, astronomy, & engineering!

He can play the lyre, trombone, and piano.

His favorite treat to get from The Bread Box is a small mushroom soup.

Theo is currently being mentored by Lachesis (one of The Moirai who's known as "the allotter.") He already knew that this would be the case of course! He's enthralled so far in his mentorship- even getting a brief look at the process of making lifethread! There was a time when Theo had a crush on her, having a few wet dreams after coming across a black and white nude portrait of Lachesis- her signature bouffant and long loose curls & sharp winged eyeliner.

He smokes cigarettes and a bit of pot. Ascalaphus once gifted him a Stygian Iron bong!

He's also fluent in Old Greek, Latin, French, & Minoan.

Theo is looking forward to his induction ceremony, especially since he knows that Achlys (goddess of the death mist, poison, misery, & sadness) will do his tattoos!

Theo is undecided about the feelings he has towards another schoolmate Heimarmene (Marnie) (goddess of shared fate). Aside from a brief interaction on the steps of the University during a particularly rainy day, they don't really socialize. At school, he'll often find himself staring at her or vice versa. He's had more than a few visions of them both making out.

His favorite dessert from Hollyhock's Bakery is the espresso chocolate cheesecake.

Some of his favorite musical acts to listen to include Pale Blu, Blood in the Water, Death Theater, and Discordic Harmony.

In the pantheon Theo greatly admires Hades (god of the dead), Erebus (god of darkness), Moros (god of doom), Momus (god of mockery, satire, & ridicule); loves watching The Agnostic Network, Hecate (goddess of magic & witchcraft), Nemesis (goddess of retribution); who he also used to have a crush on, Favian (god of philosophy); has a signed harcover & paperback copy of every book he's published, and Keres (goddess of violent death).

He has even dog sat Cerberus a handful of times, with Hades paying him 100 drachmas!

Theo has a complicated relationship with his mother. On one hand he admires her intelligence & respects the fact that she's taking responsibility when it comes to handling her mental illness and how she treats him like a mature young adult, but on the the other hand, he sometimes wishes that Ananke was the kind of mom that asked how his day was or made a home cooked meal or volunteered spending time together. For the longest time as a kid, Theo thought that Acantha, a lampade who works for Ananke, was his actual mom instead of being a glorified nanny! The two of them still have a pretty close relationship! There used to be times when Theo was the mediator between Acantha & his mom every time she'd have a violent outburst. In a weird way, he does know that his mother loves him.

His all time favorite meal (which Acantha makes) is a filet mignon (well done) served with sauteed mushrooms, blackened asparagus, & garlic mashed potatoes.

His all time favorite movie is Blooddancer! He remembers going along with Ascalaphus to the premier at the Agesilaos Theater in the Underworld!

In his free time Theo enjoys calligraphy, ink painting, skateboarding, reading, writing poetry, listening to music, drawing, pottery, playing video games, chess, lava surfing, poker, and basketball.

"A brutal reality is always better than a sweet deception."

[rrrauschen]

William Kentridge, {2022} Self-Portrait as a Coffee Pot. Episode 1: A Natural History of the Studio

[danielaboo11]

“Self-portrait as a coffee pot”

https://boxd.it/7AkB4T Siempre es placentero ver trabajar a Kentdrige, pero este ejercicio esquizoide me encantó. Se siente guionizado con una narrativa del video arte, pero luego hace estas animaciones con procesos de monotipia y se vuelve una revoltura irreconocible de narrativas. También siempre me ha gustado de él que propone una línea difusa entre la escultura, la animación, el dibujo, la…

[bitsmag]

Estreia seriado de William Kentridge na MUBI

William Kentridge, artista sul-africano, é um dos nomes mais aclamados das artes plásticas na atualidade. Em 18 de outubro a plataforma de streaming Mubi o seriado Self-Portrait as a Coffee-Pot com 9 episódios #WilliamKentridge #MUBI #Kentridge #Sreaming

Self-Portrait as a Coffee-Pot está no catálogo da plataforma a partir de 18 de outubro William Kentridge, artista sul-africano, é um dos nomes mais aclamados das artes plásticas na atualidade. Em 18 de outubro a plataforma de streaming Mubi disponibiliza o seriado Self-Portrait as a Coffee-Pot com nove episódios. A série chega ao streaming após uma leva de pré-estreias em festivais como o…

[norteenlinea]

MUBI anuncia la fecha de estreno en streaming y revela el tráiler de la nueva serie Self-Portrait as A Coffee-pot

http://dlvr.it/TDWPFP

[pikasus-artenews]

WILLIAM KENTRIDGE: Self-Portrait as a Coffee-Pot /Autoritratto come caffettiera

L’artista sudafricano William Kentridge porta a Venezia una serie video che è, insieme, manifestazione di esperienza fenomenologica nell’era digitale e riflessione su ciò che potrebbe accadere nel cervello e nello studio di un artista

[jackstingy]

@dearfr1end gets a story about seeing how long j.d. can go without breaking his fridge. again. — sc. lyrics from.

for the rest is green, j.d. prays, another plenitude of ceramic pots containing the carcasses of house plants never meant to be crashing down at jack’s insistence that the living room be rebuilt from the crawl space upwards. neither a romantic poet nor a ruthless warrior, the only nonlethal occupation either of them could think up that would make a positive impression on their first guest in forever was that of a home renovator, and as it turns out, would is not synonymous to will just as wood glue is not synonymous to afternoon teatime additive. ever the prodigy at prioritising, j.d. had taken a stab at stacking his psychology textbooks on the coffee table in front of the television (set to a wrestling program, again at jack’s insistence that thinly veiled vellity to violence would be alluring) and shoving barbecue sticks up his old plants’ stems (the glue would set after a few minutes, jack insisted, and now he plays the ignorant hierophant to how the plants and their stupid ceramic pots have jumped off the kitchen shelves) and providing the latest sponsor of his madness (forrest can you see the forest for the trees can you see me for me maybe i should take up poetry instead of listening to you jack shut up jack shut up jack shut up me) with some alcohol-free champagne. to celebrate what? ha! j.d. can be the ignorant hierophant too, you should know. forrest shouldn’t.

he realises after what is either a minute or a millennium of mopping up the dirt and the shards of clay that look like they were painted by a kindergartner that, oh, the bottle of alcohol-free champagne is in his hand and oh, no, the esteemed guest that is forrest greene is waiting for him in the freezing living room. the mop clatters to the ground, bisecting another fragment of former vase, and he sprints from the corridor with all the dead plants to the living room with all the dead plants. the wind has messed up his hair, he’s sure. the champagne’s been warmed by his clammy palms past the point of consumption, he’s certain. doesn’t matter. what doesn’t kill them will make them stronger. stand a little taller. that’s not even the song on the radio, j.d. that’s the song he wants to play but can’t because jack’s like his own mental military bootcamp on ye olde masculinity and that all begins and ends with whether or not he plays beethoven on the radio.

he switches the station to something distorted. loud. messy. the fun kids junior channel and its dubstep remix of ‘ twinkle twinkle little star ’ is plenty alternative by his standards.

‘ sorry about the wait. um, the shelves are going through their stroppy teen phase as of now, so i’d recommend you not make them self-conscious about how they’re all on the floor whinging about whatever. ‘ he sits on the sofa a safe distance away from forrest. one can never be too safe, though, and so he slips down to the floor. another shelf does the same.

‘ the bottle is ready to blow, ’ he remarks, cork pointed straight at his face. six twists later, the cork punishes him to predictably outfit-ruining results. ‘ okay, well, you didn’t have to prove it. jesus. jack, i told you, blasphemy isn’t punishable by pyre anymore. it’s civil rights or something. i know they didn’t have those in your time, but – ‘

he looks back to his guest. jesus, jack. he wishes to persecute both. ‘ so, um, yeah, there’s this mural project going on about a waterslide away from me, and i was wondering if you’d help me figure out how to make sure i don’t ruin the whole block with my work-in-progress level of coordination? ‘ natural 20 on that death save, j.d. don’t blow it now.

AND ALONG COMES JACK, KNOCKING DOWN HIS PORTRAIT ON THE HALL OF SHAME WITH A SKIP IN HIS STEP AND A SMILE ON HIS ROTTING FACE...

have you ever tried having faith in someone? it's a horrific affair, and that is an assessment sent with love by someone who has aroused a litany of them. here on the floor, however, lies one jack daniel ceallach, choking on his words as a geyser of corner shop absinthe seeps through his t-shirt. good, jack daniel. i have never liked that profane tunic, nor the circumstances in which he chooses to wear it. the combination of a jubilant axiom and pastel takes on noah's rainbow arch is one that incites nausea. forrest greene, however, incites excitement. who are you? and why, really, does jack daniel want you here?