#Self therapy through fictional blorbos

[hellsingmongrel]

I can't help but think about how Vash, after the trauma of having Rem killed when he was so young and then learning to expect the humans he grew to love to grow old and die or be killed in so many myriad ways and even having them betray him for the bounty money or just out of fear, must have developed so many difficulties allowing himself to get close to people.

Abandonment issues SUCK. You want to be close to people, you want to love people and develop connections and have friends and loved ones you can spend time with and be happy with, but you become so sure that anyone you get close to will just end up leaving you for one reason or another, and nothing you do will ever make them stay, so you just...stop trying. Stop letting yourself get attached. Stop letting yourself hope these will still be there or even reach out to bridge the gaps.

You can be friendly and outgoing and happy in the moment, but that's all it is; momentary. So you just let yourself be happy with the little glimpses if friendliness that you get from time to time and never hope for anything more. It's easier that way, you won't get your hopes up, and you're alright being alone, you've always been alone, it's ok. It's ok.

Except it's really not, and sometimes the loneliness just eats away at you, and you wonder why you were so wrong, why you were so bad or broken or a problem, or not made right to live like other people did, and why you have to be so Different that you're best hope is to just be allowed to exist Around other people, not With other people.

It's no wonder he has so much trouble never settling down, or why he only lets himself be happy for small spells between the downward spirals. He wants SO MUCH to be human, just like everyone else, worthy of love and companionship and the kinds of connections everyone else on the planet shares. He just wants to fit in and be loved, and the more his abandonment issues are reinforced, the worse it makes him feel about himself.

And then, he finds the one human who refuses to abandon him, even if he should, even if it means it puts him in danger, even if at first it's just because he HAS to, and maybe Vash feels like someone finally wants him to be around, and makes him feel a little more Human, and like maybe he can finally have a friend. Or a partner. Maybe he can let himself try to be loved.

And then he's Abandoned all over again, except it's not like every other time. It's not because he's not worthy of having someone next to him, and if he just catches up, then he can save him from the things his brother is doing, and he can be happy for a little bit longer! He doesn't have to say good bye all over again so soon, just let him be on time!

But no. It was never going to work out, was it? He should have known better. So much of what's happening has to be his own fault in one way or anotuer, so it's just his fault that this happened, too, wasn't it? It was his own fault for letting himself get his hopes up, anyway. He knew better. He doesn't get to have people who love him. It's his own fault that his world feels like it's breaking all around him while he digs a solitary grave out behind the orphanage. He's a blight on everything around him. Everything he loves ends up leaving him, eventually. He just wishes everyone he gets close to could stop dying in horrible ways. At least the betrayals mean the people will still get to live their own lives, happy and safe, once he's moved on to the next path on his neverending road.

[myfaveisfuckable]

Janeway:

- will literally martyr herself at the drop of a hat

- will kill you if she thinks it's what she needs to do for her crew

- will not kill you if she thinks you've got residue humanity after decades as a borg drone even though realistically she really should've (tho ofc we're all glad she didn't)

- will violate your personal rights if she thinks you're not "human" enough and also compare you to a replicator (yes I'm still salty about that. wait what was the question? right, i'll get back on track)

- will say absolutely deranged shit like "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in the a tone that makes me lose my mind and basically give everyone a crush on her (and also mommy issues) if they spend too long in her vicinity, leading to a very loyal crew

- her solution to having a crush on a fictional character was to delete his wife (very relatable but also very not normal)

- she wanted to watch hot Q on Q sex (possibly for scientific reasons) and looked very disappointed when it was severely underwhelming

- WHO brings a bathtub on a spaceship???

- there's more but y'know

Dokja:

1. Introduced as a bland everyman only made exceptional by circumstance, slowly revealed to be the most batshit, suicidally depressed, bisexual maniac in existence. Uses self-sacrifice like a tool and is completely unaware of how beloved he is by the people he keeps pulling into his fold because he is so deeply and utterly convinced that he is fundamentally unlovable. He's like sixty foundational traumas stacked in a trench coat and he's always sixty steps ahead of everyone else and he loves the people he chooses so so dearly and people keep calling him ugly even though he's canonically pretty average and holy shit dude get some therapy please

2. do NOT let the pretty official art fool u. this is the most average 28 year old salaryman going through the absolute most in the apocalypse. ORV is a story about the most average man on earth with the most mundane, depressing life. and one story that he read to cope with it all. he's just some guy, but he is also the most beloved specialest guy. not because he had some hidden talent. just because he loved a story ferociously and also he likes getting in trouble on purpose. he is the most unreliable narrator you will ever find. every piece of the universe loves him for his average stupid self. you will understand when you read 👍

3. GHBJNKML i am praying someone has sent him in but. unreliable narrator the most ever and also i just. love him so much. orv in itself is such a goo dnovel but like. kim dokja is the definition of love and the most caring person but also he's suffered so much and while. yknow we're introduced to him as a kind of nerd but like. listen he's so fucked up juts LISTEN

4.He looks like a neet-pulled office worker. Spoilers:

turns out to be one of the oldest things in the world and the only being keeping it going and alive. He needs to be there to keep the world going. Also, he got like kind of adopted by Persephone and hades. Like his blorbo is real and in love with him. But this man looks so average that people call him ugly to his face just because he’s surrounded by absolute gorgeous people.

[wordy-little-witch]

My brain is all over the place so I'm gonna mix n match my stuff with the only common theme being Buggy and hyperfixation.

But like. Age regression. Not the funky cool supernatural kind in fiction, the coping mechanism (I like the fiction ones too tho but for this, it's coping mechs)

Just. Buggy and Shanks both having had a frankly RIDICULOUS amount of childhood trauma and both turning to different methods to cope. Buggy got introduced to age regression both bc he already kinda sorta did t involuntarily without KNOWING and then when he brought on some people to his crew with experience in psychology and therapy for whatever reason.

He got dragged to self care hours, kicking and screaming at first and then more willingly. Turns out the "off vibes" were actually severe psychological distress, PTSD, etc. Who knew? Anyway yeah.

Cabaji, Mohji and Ritchie were the ones who were first aware of Buggy's "fuzzy episodes" as he called it. Was hard not to be in close quarters on a tiny ass ship holding three nearly grown men and a growing lion. As the crew grew, even when they got the Big Top, they were still mostly aware of things. Ritchie in particular always seemed to just... Know when Buggy was blurred out and needed a hand. Or to have smth to cuddle and pet.

Mohji actually brings it up in HIS therapy sessions without naming names. Just "hey how can I help with [x,y,z]?" There's some hums and haws before finally herspist is like "sounds like it could be anything, so I can't definitively say. Keep doing whatever has worked so far, I guess,but take care of yourself too. Maybe recommend your friend talk to a professional, like me or one of the other doctors."

Buggy is vehemently against it for a good while until he finally reaches a point that he's getting frustrated. He's scared and mad and decides he'll ACTUALLY consider it - then during one of his own sessions, he gets triggered into a panic attack, which spirals due to exhaustion into him just... clicking out. Surprise. Looks like it's happening whether he wants it or not.

Through this and subsequent meetings and experimenting, he gets told that what he's doing is a blend of regression and dissociation. They decide to try to separate thebtwo to see if maybe they can turn this from a defense to a decompression method.

Buggy still can count on one hand the number of people he trusts to know this - but it does help. He's doing... a lot better actually, with this. It doesn't fix everything, but it DOES help him stay steady enough to work on the things that need fixing. Cabaji, Mohji, Ritchie, and later Alvida are also finding themselves enjoying the time they spend together when Buggy wants or needs company. They also start picking up on some smaller things about Buggy that have turned the odd quirks and strange habits into smth more, start getting puzzle pieces to the bigger picture.

They secretly start a hit list but that's for another time.

Impel Down was an absolute hot mess, and the recovering from that and the subsequent summit war was not pretty. Just when things started coasting again on slightly smoother waters, Crocodile and Mihawk show up with the instatement of the Cross Guild.

Might just make a tag specifically for my agere stuff bc Buggy is my little blorbo and I shamelessly project on him so I may throw all my clown themed thought here

[doberbutts]

my exposure to the word 'anti' in a fandom context was "if you criticize ao3 for hosting porn (not dark subject matter, just straight-up porn) about children 12 and under sleeping with adults, or slavery AUs about Black characters written by white authors, then you're a book-burning nazi who hates women. Wanting to assault kids/enslaved people and detailing that urge on a popular website is completely fine". i was like "alright if that's what you guys want to tell yourselves" and left it at that. So my initial assumption about the new ~looming anti threat~ is that it's little more than a few braindead tweets and some squeamish teenagers getting lumped in with legitimate grievances against toxic fandom patterns. is that no longer the case?

You're talking about something different though, because here's the problem with your examples:

Can you tell the difference between appropriately aged minors exploring their sexuality for the first time with their favorite blorbos, adults with trauma trying to work through their trauma in a fictional format using characters and worlds familiar to them (which is a well documented therapy technique), and adults who write these things in order to prey on children? Can you think of a way to enforce "no predators allowed" without cutting off the first two from valid self-expression and creating serious privacy risks?

Same deal, can you tell the difference between a racist writing a slavery AU because they like to masturbate to black pain, a white person trying to write a heavy-handed allegory, and a black person working through their generational trauma? Can you think of a way to enforce "no racists allowed" that doesn't cut off those operating in good faith or create serious privacy risks? Can you evaluate who is "black enough" to discuss black trauma?

It's not so much that it's "fine", it's that it's not possible to enforce rules about this without hurting people.

[noa-ciharu]

tsubasa for the ask meme!

I'll have to include side characters as otherwise we have, like... total 4 (and a half, must not forget Mokona) Oh boy here we go:

Blorbo: oke I love them all obviously, but there's special place for Fai. When I first watched TRC anime when I was 15 i was like are we so lucky to have such beautiful main character?? Not side one for 2-3 eps but main?? God bless. And his style is just 👌. Ofc that all came at cost of angst, cuz God forbid we have stunning guy without angst. It's like that idea of love ar first sight but it's blorbo at first sight. For Kurogane it was "this guy is too pretty... which is pretty suspicious" at first sight. Ofc that's just a beginning, don't even get me started on his complexity and development. He went through such bs life and is like, one of the top 5 most tragic clamp characters (which says a lot, it's clamp duh) but has such kind heart and - okay I have to stop at some point 🥺

Skrunkly: Fai Sakura and Sayoran! I remember that one scene in Outo when she wore that rly cute maid outfit and they both were so shy and cute around each other and someone teased them. My heart melted like aww. Ofc there were many many moments before shit went down but that one is 🥰

Scrimblo bimblo: this is hard to answer cuz all other chars are from other series actually. But let's say Ashura (both) and Yasha since I don't see much RG veda stuff as much as CCS, xxxHolic, TB/X ect. Also Mokona since she's one of the crew technically (probs cuz she's not human). Also let's add infinity crew which is never talked about because we TRC fans simply dont talk about infinity angst and double divorce.

Glup shitto: like all my favs from other clamp series: Yuuko, Watanuki, Kamui and Subaru, Sorata and Arashi in first arc, Tomoyo, Yuki and Touya (married in every universe oh at least they're angst free 🥺), Seishirou (I'll never let him live down with that cringe moments in Outo and Nihon neither should you guys), Kenddapa and Souma, Ashura, Eagle, Chii (she does nothing rly in trc but too cute not to include) ect...

Poor little meow meow: Fai ofc he's poor little meow meow he even identifies as a cat (black one to the boot, oh the irony). I think it's pretty self-explanatory why. Also ofc Kurogane, Sayoran and Sakura with all that happened in their pasts and during the series. Especially that one arc about Kuro's past, it was tragic but what got me was when Sayoran had thay blank look on his face and tears were rolling down his face. Ofc in Outo too when he thought Fai was eaten alive by those demons... only afterward you know why he was so shocked...

Horse plinko: as someone who actually loves to torments characters to witness complexity of human nature in fiction, I'll say none of them. TRC is like a slow therapy of ups and downs, of finding indenitity and in order for that to happen and scars to start healing you must revisit your past and places where pain lies, thus allegory of dimension travell. To learn self value and that suffering in silence makes those who love you suffer as well. To reconstruct destructive beliefs of self and worldview you had into something healthier. To accept that you matter to those around you; what a true sacrifice should look like, what strength is. And oh so many more. Clamp could have easily killed or left traumatized in the end, any of them, but the point was process of healing. So I feel that traumatizing and providing further hurt with no comfort would feel really off in context of TRC, especially post Nihon arc. That sounded too deep for a meme ask so to answer: Subaru

Eeby debby: Kyle and all that crew. As for main ones, they've been in Acid Tokyo, superhell would be a holiday vacation in comparison.

Send me a fandom and I'll tell you my: