#Seems like i cant make this unrebloggable but please im begging ppl to have basic decency

[autisticcassandracain]

joey anon coming back to apologize, i was up too late last night & the post triggered my paranoia (like actual "everyone is talking about you" paranoia not "tee hee" funny disorder paranoia) which, is why i deleted my blog in the first place. sorry for the hate-manifesto. the general vibe on tumblr triggers me sometimes and it sucks because it's generally a good community my brain is just. hell sometimes. i shouldn't have taken that out on you. hate aside, it does still like, hurt, to see a 'bigger' creator get more attention and/or kinda slam a post that you put your own heart into. even if you weren't attacking me personally it's something i see with bigger blogs that get into specific headcanons that makes it disheartening to post anything, even outside of my paranoia issues. but, yeah i apologize for sending you hate, it wasn't cool. i should have vented to someone in private instead.

Hey, it's cool; if that's the case, sorry for posting ur ask, I should've probably just deleted it like I normally do. If it helps, the only reason I published it was because it didn't seem to actually insult me, just assume some strange things, which really confused me. I've had some people assume I was talking about them specifically before and attack me for it (or sometimes just ask for polite clarification, which is fine) before, but never on anon, which was, in no small part what confused me. Sorry for putting you in the position where you felt the need to explain your paranoia to a stranger.

For the record (not just for you, for those other ppl as well): while I absolutely do sometimes make posts because of a post I saw, I almost never make posts I directly in response to others, if that makes sense. Sometimes a post reminds me of multiple other posts I've seen, and then I'll make a post because of that trend. But if it's just one post, isolated, that annoyed me, I usually just bitch about it privately. No posts of mine are ever intended as an attack on or response to anyone else's specific post unless I specifically state otherwise.

And I do understand it can be disheartening to have bigger blogs state exactly what you have and get more notes for it, or to just get little notes in general. Believe it or not, this is my biggest blog. I wouldn't even call it a 'big blog' per se, I just have a few hundred followers, but it's definitely bigger than a lot of other blogs and bigger than my others for sure. Not to mention that I write as a hobby, and it's always super disheartening to post things (on tumblr or otherwise) and get little to no attention for it.

But at the end of the day, that's just how social media works. People will be more likely to be exposed to popular stuff, making the popular stuff more popular. It's not the fault of big blogs (or popular writers) for being big. They started with zero followers like the rest of us, then, usually, just got lucky. That's sure what happened with every bigger blog I've ever owned. Nobody's deliberately taking attention away from smaller blogs. Big blogs aren't corporations who are deliberately trying to stifle mom-and-pop stores they see as competitions; hell, on Tumblr, they don't even earn money from their blog. They're just posting stuff like everyone else. Directing these frustrations at them is (as I'm sure you're aware) irrational.

We don't know each other, but from the sounds of it, it seems like deleting your blog was the correct choice, even if it was done in a fit of paranoia. Again, I'm sure you know, but sometimes the best thing to do with paranoia is to distance yourself from the source of it, even if you otherwise like it. I haven't had genuine paranoia (or the delusions/hallucinations that caused it) in years, but distancing myself from one of its main sources (despite me loving it) was essential to my mental health. I'm glad I didn't have access to social media back them, because I'm sure it would've exacerbated my issues. So it sounds like taking a step back from social media is probably the correct thing to do. But obviously, I don't know anything about you, so if I'm wrong in my assumption, just ignore me.

And in case you were wondering: I'm incapable of being concise, which is why I keep writing essays. Sorry about that. TL;DR: no hard feelings, I get it, take care of yourself and I hope you have a good day.