#Second favorite moment on the game because I LOVE toxic yaoi and this game made me realize

[alcettogo]

22 - Bad Memory

Prompt List

[takeonmesumino]

My Takumi Ships (+ my opinion on Nozomi x Takumi)

Takumi x Tsubasa (Killing Game Route Spoilers)

THEY ARE SO CUTE!!! SO SO CUTE!!!! Killing Game Route was the first route I played and is one of my favorites as well. A huge reason for it is the relationship between Takumi and Tsubasa! I really liked how naturally it developed, sure it moved very fast but like...they are teenagers, teens tend to do that. They are so supportive of each other and help each other out when the other is struggling and and-

God they are so cute and the only reason I haven't talked about them yet is because I barely see any fan content of them (also Tsubasa stabbing Eito was so fucking based holy shit, yes girl protect your man!!!!)

Also Darumi and Takumi beefing because Darumi was Tsubasa's first kiss is such an underrated moment LMAO

Takumi x Hiruko (minor S.F Route Spoilers)

I've already made two posts about them (one of them is my most recent one too) but god I love these two as well. First things first their dynamic is hilarious. Comedy gold. Girlboss and her loser boyfriend jump into parallel universes, why? I don't know really, the route is kind of confusing.

You know what isn't confusing though? Their ability to fuck shit up because they do that...a lot. Does timeloopers suffer brain damage? Because they are both incredibly stupid (and I say this with nothing but affection for them).

Also learning the context behind that one scene in the Slasher Route was just so peak. Toxic but like...in a gentle way? Oh right...speaking of toxic-

Takumi x Eito (Multiple Eitos Route Spoilers)

I'm assuming if you've read this far you have probably played route 0. I shipped them already before completing that but...hooo boy was I in for a wild ride with them. I came for fluffy feel good boyfriends and left with the most nuclear toxic yaoi I've seen in ages.

The way Eito has felt isolated by his hate for so long. The way he yearns to be understood but also loathe people to the point of letting no one in. He has only ever felt understood after Takumi went back in time exposing him and his true nature. Having someone know everything you've been keeping secret is...intimate. Something he's never felt before. This of course manifests a deep obsession with Takumi, that plays out in many ways across different routes.

I don't think there's any ending that shows this better than the Eternal Hate ending. It shows how Eito loves through hate because hate is all he's ever known. Him and Takumi becoming one and the same in mind, body and spirit...allowing Eito to truly feel seen (although whether or not he is actually understood is kind of debatable lol)

Why I dislike Takumi x Nozomi but still believe it to be the single most important relationship in the game (Truth Route/Second Scenario Spoilers)

I don't like this ship. I don't like it at all.

But at least to me that's kind of the point of it. It's clear from the moment Takumi first meets Nozomi that he doesn't see her as a real person. He struggles with coming to terms with how similar Karua and Nozomi is, often comparing the two over every little thing Nozomi says. He does try to view them differently of course. And he does succeed at it in the first timeline...until she is dying and he misunderstands her dying words as confirmation that Karua and her are one and the same.

From there on he is convinced that Nozomi is Karua, outright dismissing her agency believing he knows her better than she knows herself. Karua and by extension Nozomi is Takumi's biggest weakness, it's what makes him hesitate but also what makes him do many terrible things. His desire to protect her often turns him into the worst version of himself.

It's really only by learning the truth, that Karua was never real but the feelings of friendship he shared with Nozomi when they were kids was real, that he becomes able to see past the illusions and see Nozomi as the person she really is.

His relationship with Nozomi is proof of the evil the scientists at Kamukura General Hospital has inflicted upon them. The two of them are cursed to never stand shoulder to shoulder until every truth is uncovered. Only then will they truly know each other.

And by extension themselves.

[chronikkally]

THE KH FANDOM IS TOXIC THAT'S WHY...

This is to an artist I wrote an article talking about. Basically a little something about me and pedophilia. She’s 19 or 20 and I don’t like her. I don’t like her or the girl that accused me of being a pedophile over art. But this was so confusing and I didn’t want to argue with someone that young. I’m 21. I should know better but this was another case of Not knowing all the facts. 

I will start it off. Like this,  this was last year mind you. I have an imvu account. I’m always off and on imvu. Creating an account. Deleting. I actually enjoy that site because of the avatars. 

And I started my first time on imvu,  when I was in elementry. I think,  maybe middle school. 

Imvu is a chat website with 3D avatars in a virtual reality. The site is between good and bad. It’s a 50/50 win or lose type of thing. But last year,  back when I had my laptop working. I had an account and got back on it. I was bored and I decided to play with this new upgrade to the chat. 

It worked like tinder! I wasn’t planning to date anyone because at the time I was in a so called relationship. Previously I was on a dating website,  badoo. Bad choice,  don’t do it. 

This artist on tumblr. Draws Xaldin from Kingdom Hearts with Lexaeus. She’s lesibian. Not important but to me it was and she had the stupidest reason behind this thing I shall explain. 

She accused me of fetishizing,  an Iranian. So,  I’m swiping on these avatars on imvu. And I come across this guy who doesn’t have an avatar, it’s his face and I’m like he’s kinda ugly but his nose is cute. The thing I notice about guys is their nose. Now,  I will admit this. Which is accurate. 

If there was anything I truly was fetishizing. It was white men! And I still feel bad and no longer like white guys,  in a sexual nature,  they have weird dicks. Another reminder I am black. POC. Brown. African american. Whatever. I’m a nigga. 

At the time when I swiped right on this boy who was 24 on his profile. He’s 25 now. Moments later he sent me a message and I didn’t think anyone would swipe on my card so this was surprising. 

I didn’t  get on imvu to date because I thought a boy named Tony Holt was my boyfriend. He said he cuffed me and I believed it. I was wrong. He said he liked black girls but in that way,  you know actually fetishizing. 

He messages me and says,  my interest are funny. And I like making people laugh it gives me good vibes. So I say, I try my best. Eventually he invited me into a private chat and I accepted. 

I was nervous as hell because like I said imvu is 50/50 you have some really messed up guys on there. And the last time, some really weird and ugly white dude started kissing all over my avatar like no tomorrow asking if I loved him. So this nice man and I’m saying man because he was one. The first thing he said,  would you date a Chinese man? 

I was so confused and I moved avatar as far from him to simulate this weird behavior. I wasn’t trying to date him. I ask,  are you Chinese? He goes,  I’m Iranian. Me: Then why did you ask? Him: I was trying to be funny And goddammit  if he wasn’t. 

I didn’t know he was Iranian. Nor did I care. It wouldn’t have made a difference if he was or not! 

What really made me swipe right. Was because in his card he said he wanted an intellectual conversation with someone. Me,  I like to talk,  that’s all I wanted. 

I ended up moving my avatar to the couch in the private chat but there was still space between our avatars. 

He introduces himself. I give him my name. He was confused to why I thought, the first thing he wanted to do was date. Because I was away from his avatar. I remembered being a bit mean. He asked,  why are you way over there and I snapped and said this is the not too fucking fast position because the last time somebody put me in a private chat THEY ASKED ME RIGHT OFF THE BACK DO I LOVE THEM AFTER KISSING MY AVATAR. 

I remember words like, I don’t bite. And not going to lie. I was smiling because it was cute and I was nervous like. 

But when I moved my avatar we talked and it was the best shit ever. Realizing I was having a conversation with somebody that knew shit and wasn’t a dumb ass. I was high. 

He asked me about the president and his policies and I said something like fuck him. And he’s surprised. He goes,  you don’t like your president? I said fuck no! 

The conversation is going. I find out he has an illness. I have an illness I asked how he felt in Canada and asked if he faced any decrimination and I really don’t understand why there is a hatred towards middle eastern people. And the last middle eastern that spoke to me was on tinder. I think he said he was Iraqi. And I feel bad for that. I dogde the shit out of Arab men. Out of respect! I would hate to have an Arab boyfriend and both our families are like why you bring an A-RAB home (my dad) and his family is like what the fuck did you bring home? 

Because not everyone is open minded to their children dating outside their race. I hold middle eastern men to a high regard. Like respect the shit out of them. By not talking to them in fear I sound like a racist uneducated ghetto mess! It’s like,  you’re a smart man please leave a poor black woman to her slave duties, sir. But the one on tinder was confusing like are you here for sex or a date? And I wasn’t into the whole sex thing. So I ducked and dodged. On imvu,  I love Capricorns! I don’t know why. He was a Capricorn. And I was all FUCK YEAH. And I had made him laugh talking about dick because dudes send me ugly dick pictures and I lie to them. I said something about black guy’s dicks changing color and he shared a story how a chick he was dating was real conceited. 

My favorite thing. We talked. Laughed and joked. Eventually this huge feeling comes over me. And I wanted to really know him. I was interested as fuck. And last time I spoke with him,  it was real short. I messaged him on imvu and he was willing but… Ugh I can’t get that back. Even if he changed his relationship status to in a relationship and I was confused as to why. Because I’m a grandma. If you don’t ask me. Nigga I guess you not interested and I don’t play games so… 

Tony Holt came back from working on a rig and all hell broke lose. I think I hurt him. He unfriended me and that hurt me. I still like him. But at the same time. I’m confused,  I don’t know if it’s pity or that rich Arab hospitality. One of those,  Imma be nice but I don’t like you…ANYMORE BECAUSE HE FUCKING CALLED ME DEAR THE SECOND TIME WE CHATTED. And I’m not going to force him to be with me. Never. But my actions hurt. And I don’t want to slip into another relationship now. 

If this is about wanting to date outside my race however. That is the stupidest thing. Rihanna is courting a Saudi! Brittany Spears is courted by an IRANI. AND A DAMN KARDASHIAN IS WITH A MIDDLE EASTERN. So two white heterosexual women and one black Caribbean can do it. But my black ass can’t? 

I tried to date outside my race multiple times. What I fetishized were white men!  And If I was really fetishizing, I would like a fucking middle eastern to message me and curse me the fuck out then some ass kissing self entiled brat. I don’t like her. She’s 19 and full of shit. Talking about,  I draw Arabs and write about them. 

NIGGA. 

I HAVE A SYRAIN MALE CHARACTER WHO HAS SEVERAL BROTHERS. AND A SISTER AND THEN THERE WAS THE TIME I HAD A CHARACTER FROM YEMEN. FICTIONAL CHARACTERS ARE NOT REAL. 

THEY DO NOT HOLD THE SAME VALUES AS A TANGIBLE MOTHERFUCKER. I said a Desi/Arabic woman was super fucking beautiful and thick and I don’t know if it was lesbianism or I was jealous as fuck. I had a stroke and she came into my room while I was in recovery and I just lost my damn voice. Plus. Why are you so concerned with what I reblog? I reblogged Arabic men one time. Some of them were shirtless. They looked good. Maybe the reason I did it was inappropriate but they were good looking men! And some were gay asf. 

Oh look at this happy gay Arabic couple. They look so comfortable. You see gay men just hug and suddenly get happy? I don’t know why but seeing guys have this. I’m envious. Because I want a dick and hate my vagina. I’m a transexual? I do not care for my lady parts. 

Like what ever the argument is… It’s stupid. Your art doesn’t carry the same shit as an actual middle eastern who comes to America or Canada. They out here getting called all sorts of shit. 

You draw a hajabi girl and she gets her hajabi ripped off in your fictional world. You don’t go to an actual breathing tangible hajabi girl and try to relate your fictional shit to her actual pain. 

A scenario: Hajabi: Some guy snatched my hajab off An artist: Well,  my character Shahira Mohammed got her hajab ripped off her head too. 

Scenerio two: Black people: I got called a nigger, I’m  biracial An artist: I have a character that’s a slave,  so I totally understand. 

Scenerio three: Jewish people: I was just breathing when somebody threw money at me and called me a Jew face An artist: I totally understand. Yousef was called a Jesus killer in Chapter eight. It hurt so much  to write that. 

I still like Ahmad. Him being Iranian doesn’t mean shit to me. But I’ll punch a nigga for him. Middle easterners and Jewish people get the dumbest hate. ‘Oh well,  middle easterners uh,  9/11’

One person. Not a whole nation. 

‘Jews love money’

First off. Don’t be mad at somebody Jewish for getting off their ass and going to work because you sat down and scratched your ass all day. But please tell me I’m fetishizing. 

How the fuck is it okay for some goddamn lesibian of 19 fucking years old. Find it remotely acceptable to draw gay fictional characters in yaoi scenerio if yaoi is also the art of hypersexualized homosexuality. 

Because if that doesn’t mean the same damn thing then I might have a second goddamn stroke and I don’t want to die. That’s hypocrisy. Lesibians get the fetishizing thing, too when two homosexual girls are caught in public and a heterosexual man comes and sees they wanna instantly have a three way. 

But clearly you don’t understand this. And instead you want to focus on POC, like middle easterners can’t speak the fuck up. If I was doing wrong,  why the hell didn’t somebody that was Arabic not come and tell me after all the shit I reblogged. Can you please not reblog my shit? Because if they did I would have gotten the fuck rid of it. 

But please explain to my black ass once more how I’m wrong. You fucking brat. You wanna act like an adult be prepared to get talk to like one. No one ever comes out when black women get fetishized. But I guess,  in the harshes reality. 

1) You once upon a time had a crush on some Arab who rejected you and now your gay. 

2) You’re low key fucking racist. You looked through my blog on my now deleted account and ignored that I was a POC who went through this bullshit. And everyone can come after me like. Dude chill she’s 19. Fuck off. She’s reaching a new age of 20 no one is holding your fucking hand through life because you can’t face these things. Grow up. You hurt yourself. Which led to this. I’m not going to let some 19 wannabe important child explain to me what fetishizing is! 

I told Ahmad about this. He laughed,  said it was amusing. Found out he’s short. He has two brothers. Is the middle child. Is a weed smoker. BECAUSE MEDICAL MARIJUANA. 

SHUT THE FUCK