#Sam’s chill cannot be surpassed

[a-clarice-dream]

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Oscar with Sam Konstas? Icons meeting icons.

[beeindaclouds]

REQUEST :

Reader Who Says Shit , And Just Lashes Out Easily , And Says Stuff They Don't Exactly Mean , And Regret It Heavily Afterwards . They Almost Never Have The Courage , Nor The Ego To Apologize Which Only Makes The Situation Worse .

Radio! You are asking me some angsty stuff here lol! But I'll do it anyway!

Hope you enjoy <3

DSMP reacting to a Mean!Reader

Includes: Dream, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Skeppy, Quackity,Karl Jacobs, Wilbur Soot, Philza, Technoblade, Nihachu, Eret, Punz, FoolishGamers, Awesamdude, Slimecicle

Click here before requesting, please <3

Imagine being just outright mean

You've been like this your entire life, and nobody has ever done anything to stop you

Cause even if they did you would rebuttal with more horrible stuff

You never took it TOO far

Until one day, during a Jack Box stream where you insulted one of your DSMP friends [I cannot come up with what you say or to who, cause I'll feel bad :')]

You definitely surpassed the line of "ok that's kind of funny, we'll look over it"

You didn't mean to, and you felt bad about it as soon as you said it, but your ego kept you from saying sorry

Which caused your whole lobby of "friends" to get mad at you

Dream will definitely let his "leo" side take over, he shuts you down quicker then you can think of an apology

George isn't someone confrontational, but he'll definitely tell you to stop talking

Sapnap will become toxic if he has to, since you basically did the same. He'll make you feel more insignificant then you did to the one you hurt

Bad would first try to calm down the others, before lecturing you. More then "mad" he sounds dissapointed, which hurts way more

Skeppy, kind of like George, won't say much. Unless you hurt someone very dear to him, like Bad and/or Puffy, then it's over for you

Quackity gets serious when he gets mad, which scares you into not saying anything as he explains why you shouldn't have said such a thing

Karl seems like a sweetheart, but if you hurt one of his friends he'll do anything to defend them. He gets fidgety and a bit mad as he tells you to never say something like that ever again, to anybody.

Wilbur will just outright tell you to shut up, in the most cold way possible. He'll even kick you out if he feels the need to

Philza will quickly shut you down and scold you before you can even finish the sentence. He does not stand this kind of behaviour from anybody

Techno won't outright lecture you, he'll just kick you out of the call. Simple, yet effective

Nihachu will pull you into another call, if she needs to, just to scold you and scare you into never saying those things ever again

Eret'll first tell you to calm down, before making fun of how childish you sound while saying such a thing, just to embarass you

Punz will outright just cuss you out. Who do you think you are, coming here and saying this kind of stuff?

Sam will tell you to chill and leave the call, and that's all he needs to say

I'm putting Foolish and Slimecicle togheter cause I feel like they'd react in the same way. They are not conforntational people AT ALL, so they'll try more to calm everybody down. But if you do continue they'll shut you down before you can utter another word

Bonus:

For anybody that wanted maybe "redemption"

You were only acting like this cause you were too scared to show how you really were, and thought that keeping this hard exterior would protect you from ever getting hurt

But it didn't work out like you thought it would

[sinceyouaskedme]

The College Tapes episode 2 thoughts:

I say with all the love in the world and all the respect due for how truly top notch his acting is, but Briggon...cannot write. This script is, uh, a whole mess. Actual quote from an ATMO description: “Whatever a coffee shop sounds like.” This man is so lucky to be on crew with one of the best sound designers in the business because, honestly, what is anyone supposed to do with that. 

I also feel like I should point out there’s like 70% less swearing in the script than in the podcast. Apparently Briggon just ad-libs all those f-bombs in wherever he feels like, which is. very funny 2 me.

The “forum Atypicals” concept makes a certain kind of sense, but feels like it sits really weirdly alongside the existence of the Order as an ancient global shadow organization specifically dedicated to making sure information about Atypicals doesn’t go public? But hey! When has the Order fit in with any of the other worldbuilding!

Anyways, the idea that Caleb has adopted two children via freshman orientation and they both just happened to also be Atypicals is super interesting and comes with big implications re: Atypicals being able to find each other In The Wild and building organic support networks outside of systems like the Order and the AM. It’s very reminiscent of Sam just randomly happening to find Mark in the past without even looking. (Also maybe related to however all the characters find each other in The Neon Darkness? IDK, I haven’t read it.) I’d be very interested in having this explored more explicitly.  

Everything about Ben’s ability makes me laugh, it’s so vague. “Emotions are a kind of energy” lol, okay. Sure. Why not. Anyone want to place bets on whether or not time is going to be considered a kind of energy? 

Caleb has spontaneously developed the ability to MANIPULATE PEOPLE’S EMOTIONS??? HOLY SHIT????? There’s zero chance this gets the exploration it deserves, but can you imagine if it did! The giant swirling angst vortex this has the potential to be! My god! Caleb was always so worried about manipulating people even just with knowing how they were feeling, he must be working himself into absolute KNOTS over actually being able to make them feel things.

Subpoint - the trailer made it sound like Caleb broke up with Adam because he felt Adam having doubt about their relationship, but consider the possibility: Caleb breaking up with Adam because he’s worried he’s going to subconsciously manipulate Adam into loving him, and deciding he’d rather be alone and heartbroken than responsible for something like that. 

Mark refusing to change his voicemail message speaks to me deeply, but it doesn’t imply that he’s doing great.

Good evening and welcome to the Caleb/Mark section of this response post. I absolutely have been thinking about this ship ever since I saw the “date night with Mark” thing Caleb posted to his IG story in February. Please know they would be terrible together and that’s my absolute jam. 

The real thing that has to be said is that their closeness feels like it’s come from kind of nowhere? They had pretty limited direct contact in TBS, they were always connected through Joan or Sam, and not mentioning either of those women here at all really pulls this towards that “we casual-misogyny’d so hard that we surpassed homosocialism and accidentally tripped into homoromanticism” vibe.

Caleb had to work himself up to calling Cole BUT he was totally chill and casual about calling Mark with no invitation, and it’s heavily implied that he calls him semi-regularly despite Mark never even answering his phone. IDK, I just think it’s cute. Someone please figure out how to put all of this together into some kind of 5+1 voicemail fic for me.

I genuinely have no thoughts on Cole, but Caleb being a big dummy who doesn’t know how to respond to being flirted with because he’s been dating the same guy since he was seventeen is fun, so I don’t mind this little baby romance arc even though it is sure to be absolutely fruitless and I’m certain will be handily discarded so Caleb and Adam can get back together by the end of the show. I do hope we get some jealous!Adam along the way, though, that sounds fun too.

[avliyahs-blog]

🦋⏤ ( alisha boe, cisfemale, she/her ) — meet aaliyah hersi, the twenty year old junior at washington state university. i heard that the fallen angel is a biology/pre-med major who spends most of their time either spending hours upon hours in one of her labs or jogging around campus. if you ask around, you’ll find out that the capricorn was born on december 24th, that the last song they listened to was get well soon by ariana grande, and that they currently live in the gamma zeta chi sorority house. ever since the death of carter hayes though, the only thing anyone can seem to recall when it comes to them is that they had an unrequited crush on carter.

*one girl from tryouts in bring it on vc* yo yo yo! what’s up, what’s up? it’s time to get bizzay. no but really, greetings & salutations! i’m sam and this is my lil bb, aaliyah also known as liyah (to those rly close to her). so if you’re really ready to get busy, let’s explore under the tag, shall we?

aaliyah hersi was born on december 24th, 1998 in long island, ny, to two twenty somethings that possessed no inkling of what to do. though, they managed the best they could to ensure that their first child and only daughter was on a path of greatness and was capable of so much more than what they were used to as children. so she is the first child but she has a younger brother who she cannot stand to no end. loves him dearly but needs him to stop being nosy every time she goes home for break.

which leads into the next point ... like, shawty was super bright and always made sure that a gold star was placed on her chart before the school day was over. she pretty much excelled over the years and adored every subject except math because ew. like, who really likes math when u think about it?

in one of her after school programs, she pursued soccer and that pretty much became the love of her life/her passion. like, she did take up lacrosse in high school to pass the time in the winter and loved it but soccer was her favorite thing in the world. it pretty much led her to getting into wsu for not only her grades but for soccer as well.

speaking of was, right, so her label ‘the fallen angel’ precedes back to the beginning of the season where she kind of just switched up on everyone after being regarded as one of the best players on the team. that big headed-ness led to her thinking she was too good for practice, too good for those meetings w/ her coach about classes and grades to the point where sis pretty much took that and ran with it. like, just imagine her thinking her shit doesn’t stink and how she just knew she had a spot when it came to the first game. #backfired bc it led to another teammate becoming close to getting her forward position and then, led to aaliyah blackmailing her. only because the other girl was better than her to the point where she saw her as a threat. i know, right. i didn’t see my girl being vindictive either but when it comes to something she cares about, it may come to it. think tonya harding w/ nancy kerrigan but like, lesser than that because she’s not about violence. at all. it just so turns out that the girl had mentioned to others which in turn, led to many of her teammates and coach like, “wtf... it’s not that deep, sis.” while them also, being like, had you BEEN here you wouldn’t be in the situation you were now. which sucks because that meant she couldn’t play that szn or even, be involved in anything regarding the team until next season once she got her act together and became a team player. 

i had another theory for the label but until i develop that, we just gon’ work w what i had originally and i’ll let u know if that changes or not in her official bio that i’ll write up l8r.

now, to cope with all that mess, she pretty much dealt with assuring that she went out all the time, doing things that were her norm but surpassing that a lil so now her rep on campus may be a lil skewed but that’s only because she feels as if she’s a shell of the person she was before. like, she’s no longer someone of  good character and substance but a person who isn’t chill and is just all around... weird, in a sense. like, she doesn’t try to be open with others for the very reason they may judge her before she even gets a chance to explain herself about a situation that could’ve been handled differently. it was just way too much where she’s prob shut herself off at times. 

speaking of being too much, her unrequited crush on carter was prob the worst thing of her sophomore year because... everyone... just... found out, due to the fact that someone couldn’t keep their mouth shut on the matter. she didn’t exactly know it was unrequited but she just assumed it was after discovering that he knew and she couldn’t do anything about it. definitely a distant memory of middle school and how a similar situation occurred as well. #yikes

but this is pretty much the basis of aaliyah to the point where i don’t even know what to say anymore. like, she truly is a good person but she’s currently trying to find herself again and trying to deal with the repercussions of her actions/the previous events in her life. like, she still is ambitious and determined in her studies bc hello, stem ain’t no joke. ‘specially when math isn’t her strong suit but she is trying her best to assure those (since she cares too much about what others thinks, no matter how hard she denies it) that she is just trying to build herself back up rather than stay at rock bottom. it’s just gonna take... so.. me... time. 

but if u liked reading aLL that, please please please lmk by checking out her plots/connections and hitting us up w a lil smth. thank u. stream 7 rings by ariana as well and r9 is coming. ok byeeeee. 💛

[anneedmonds]

Sunday Tittle Tattle: Nippleback

I finally caved in, after over ten years of owning an iPhone, and bought myself a protective case. Why the prolonged hesitation? I’ll tell you why. I genuinely think that most phone cases are horrendous. They’re like the tech version of Crocs. Plasticky, garish monstrosities that just seem to be needlessly bad. Design abominations. And what’s worse is that they take an object of great design beauty, the iPhone – so divine in its apparent simplicity, so streamlined! – and clothe it in fancy dress.

Whether it’s a rectangular neoprene wetsuit affair or some kind of angular, metallic thing that adds four kilos to the total weight of the handset, pretty much all iPhone cases look shite.

But anyway I bought two. (I kept my old phone – see below.) One is all gold and shiny and jagged, like a teen’s drawing of a futuristic supercar, the other is a rubbery coral-toned sheath. A kinky flesh suit for my new iPhone 11 Pro Max, which was a very kind Christmas present from Mr AMR and I had no idea quite how kind until I accidentally stumbled upon the price online whilst looking for phone tripods. It’s the sort of price that warrants full-time security and a driver, or at least one of those briefcases with a chain that you can handcuff to your person.

Anyway, back to the rubbery sheath. It has this funny pop-out thing at the back that looks a bit like a weird nipple; it pulls out with a satisfying thrrrp and helps you to grip the phone, if having a phone almost entirely covered in non-slip material isn’t grippy enough for you. Perhaps your fingers are made of banana skins or the tips produce a constant flow of melted lard. I don’t know. You’d have to be pretty bloody clumsy to not get a grip on a silicon case.

And I look at these cases and think this: why have I spent a fortune buying an iPhone, an object that has surpassed all usual standards of design and function, an absolute tech icon, and then put a case on it that’s so ugly you have to question the designer’s sanity? It’s like throwing a polyester dog blanket over a George Smith sofa, or wrapping a Ferrari FF in sticky back plastic, or clothing Michelangelo’s David in a tracksuit from Boohoo.

But I’ll tell you why I’ve put a case on: because the iPhone is too naked and vulnerable without one. With its glass casing it’s more like a phone foetus than a fully-formed piece of tech – one wrong move, one rushed pants-pull-down to go to the loo when it’s in your back pocket, one child’s clumsy swipe and the whole shebang is game over. Carrying an iPhone about is like being responsible for a Fabergé egg – you’re constantly catching it mid-air, comedy-style, and breathing a sigh of relief when a knock results in “just a small crack in the corner but it doesn’t affect the screen”.

And all of this is the fault of the iPhone designers, who have made what is now our most-used modern-world thing out of the most fragile material they could think of. They may as well have folded it out of origami paper or covered it in the crumbling pages from a 12th century monastic ledger. I just can’t even conceive what was happening in the meeting where they discussed manufacturing.

“OK guys, I am loving this iPhone idea. It’s like a cell phone, but so much more. I mean, I totally see people using this all of the time – like all the time. Not just for calls, but for everything. Schedules. Emails. Taking photos. I want this to be in people’s hands constantly, I want them to carry it with them everywhere. In the car, walking down the sidewalk, at the mall, on a family trip to the ocean…”

“Yeah boss, this is so awesome. It’ll be, like, the accessory. The most-used thing people will ever own. Question is guys, what do we make it from? This piece of expensive tech that the world will carry with them and probably put in their back pocket loads? Let’s put our heads together here guys. Over there in the corner, you there – Sam, what d’you reckon? What should we make the iPhone out of?”

“Erm…glass?”

“Awesome Sam. Alright team, let’s go ahead and manufacture in glass. If you could also make it super-slippy to hold, and also create weak points in the screen and casing so that if a spider sneezes it immediately shatters, that would be super-awesome. Let’s go guys, let’s do this!”

I still haven’t gotten used to my sheathed iPhone. Sometimes it takes me surprise and I look at it and think “that phone cannot possibly be mine.” Alas it is. I feel as though I’ve had a horrific hairdye job and I sort of forget about it until I look in the mirror and then, for a few seconds, I have a sense of disbelief. How could I have gone so dreadfully wrong? 

But anyway, my iPhone now has the equivalent of a hi-vis hazmat bullet proof wetsuit on and so I’m sure it feels a lot safer. (It ponders upon this as it lies there on its charger-pad bed. The fact that it’s so brilliantly, perfectly formed, yet it needs so much help to survive. “Why did Daddy make me so weak?”)

I bought another case, too, for my old iPhone, the one that I didn’t trade in. WHAT? you may well ask. One always trades in, surely? Not I, friends, not in this case. And do you know why? Yes, the £350 was a massive temptation, but I can tell you a bigger temptation: having a spare phone filled with noisy/educational game apps for the sproglings to play on when I want a moment’s peace. Because do you know what I like to do when I’m having that moment’s peace? I like to play on my phone! There’s nothing more frustrating than sitting down with a cup of tea and a slice of Christmas cake (it’s still going strong, well done Mother) and realising you can’t actually scroll through Instagram or read the news because the very thing giving you a spare five minutes is the thing you need!

Anyway, I bought a case for the games phone (extravagant, but quite honestly there’s no price you can put on sanity, is there?) and good God it’s even uglier than my silicon nipple-backed one. (Nippleback. Could be a Nickelback tribute band!) It’s all angular and weird like Kryton from Red Dwarf.

The oddest thing about it is that it has a porthole cutaway so that the apple symbol can still be seen. Oh good! At least if people see the apple then they won’t think that the entire phone is an Early Learning Centre replica. It screams “there is good design inside me! You just have to look deeper! Beauty isn’t all skin deep you know!” Good bloody job really isn’t it?

Putting a sleek, flawless iPhone into the Kryto-case is like making Gisele routinely wear a suit made from egg cartons.

“Uhhhh, Clarissa?”

“Yeah.”

“We’re shooting Gisele for the cover tomorrow and we need to keep Chanel happy but she’s currently working with Dior, so…we have the bias-cut Dior drop-neck slip or we have the Chanel bikini styled with the snow boots.”

“Uhh, really? OK no, scrap those. Can you just go to fifth floor and ask if they’re still recycling the egg boxes? I’ll make them into a suit.”

“A…suit? We’re paying fifteen thousand dollars for a phone – I mean a model – and we’re going to hide her in an egg carton suit?”

“Yeah don’t worry, we can cut a hole out somewhere so that you still see how good her body is underneath.”

Don’t know where that semi-analogy was off to! Anyway you get the gist. I’m not impressed with these cases – even the apple ones look rubbish, although slightly less rubbish. To be quite honest I do wish I’d bought the silicon Apple one, which doesn’t have a Nippelback and is a nicer shade of pink. I think it was cheaper, to add insult to injury…

If you’re looking at these cases thinking I don’t actually think they look that bad then a) observe an unadulterated iPhone – isn’t it quite smooth and perfect and wonderful? – and b) you’re probably right but if I didn’t fully exaggerate all of my thoughts then I’d have nothing to write about.

Mind you, the three lens thing on the back of the new iPhones is almost as hideous as a Nippleback – I feel as though my new phone is an escapee from a robotics junkyard and any minute the front will open and little wheels will drop down and it’ll start beeping at me like R2D2. It’s an excellent camera but jeez. Chill out on the lens orgy!

Notes so that I don’t get sued: apparently Apple have made the new phone out of the strongest metal-strengthened glass known to the entire universe. The extra lenses are necessary for the super-duper image quality and both of the cases shown above are top-rated, high-performing cases that shouldn’t be mocked.

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