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samcatcher · 4 months ago

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When in London.

chapter 10. masterpost

The note I wrote in the journal was gone. My preparation was gone gone gone and all I could do was stand there with my mouth wide open as my brother and my- his- lover smiled at me, trying to welcome me, trying to hide what’s just been uncovered.

Jean stayed laying in the bed. Frozen. I was surprised he could even look at me. I was appalled that he could look at me. That- SCOUNDREL.

-What the fuck are you doing here?- Jean asked me. Trying to pass it off as a joke, trying to be casual- as casual as possible. Trying to make me laugh?

-Why the fuck are you in bed with my brother?- I screamed, in English. Retaliation was one of my strong suits when I argue, specifically with Jean. I always know what to say back. Michael as well, seeing as he’s my brother, we’ve had our series of spats. However, this was more than just a spat.

Neither of them said anything. I knew they both understood what I said but they didn’t know what to say. Fucking twats.

I watched their faces shift in front of me. Kind faces turned to strangers. Gnashing teeth and bright red eyes. Demon horns slowly pushed through their skulls. Blood dripped down their heads and I imagined them screaming in pain on the floor. Crawling to each other for support. While I stood and watched. My jaw grinding.

My brother decided he would try to flee the scene. But I didn’t let him. I slammed the door closed and stood against it. I pressed myself against the cold wood. My crazy eyes pierced into them. Penetrating them.

Michael stood close to me now, still trying to get to the door. I moved closer. He could feel my breath as I said;

“You are not leaving until I have answers.”

“Sit down.” I firmly added. I looked into each eye. Left, right. Left, right.

Michael sat down on the edge of the bed. Jean was still stuck in place. He glanced at Michael and then looked back at me. I directed my eyes to him.

-How long?- I asked, calmly. In a customer service voice. In a sweet, no offense voice.

-A couple of weeks.- My brother said. He stayed fixed on the floor now. He bit his lip, as he does when he lies. I shook my head and that caught Jean's sour attention.

-No, there’s no need to lie to her. She knows when you lie. Lyla, it has been going on for 17 months.- Jean added to my Michael’s statement. He didn’t even seem ashamed. He acted as if he was conversing with a friend, he acted as if I had just met him, and he was simply describing his partner. He literally smiled and nodded at me after the fact.

-seventeen fucking months.- Is all I could say. I repeated it a good 5 times before I got sick of screaming. Whispered it to myself, mumbled it. Mouthed it. After I had finished repeating it, it stuck in my head. Seventeen months. Seventeen months. Seventeen months. Seventeen months. Seventeen months. Seventeen months.

-You love him?- I directed at Jean. He looked at Michael. Michael looked back at him. They didn’t reply. Not until they saw my mouth open again. God they loved to interrupt me. They fucking loooooved to interrupt me.

-I love you.- Jean said. Michael stammered over his words and tried to also express his love for me.

-Lyla I- I love you too, you're my sister, my soeur.-

I laughed, hysterically.

-You both love me? You both adore me, yeah? Fuck you. Fuck. you. Pigs.- I replied. They did love each other. I thought about their toothbrushes. Their contrasting towels. The bedroom they shared. Coffee in the morning. Tea at night. Honey! I'm home! Scumbags. Liars, cheaters, selfish. Pigs

-You disgust me. Both of you. Pigs.- I screamed as a final word. Then I left the room and I didn’t look back.

I don't know what they did after. Don't know if they broke up, stayed together, or got married. I never spoke to either of them again. I never went home for christmas, I never answered the facetimes from my family. I knew Michael would try. It was because of him that I abandoned my family. There was something deep inside of me that would bubble to the surface every time my surname was mentioned. I didn’t associate with any of them anymore, all because of him. I hoped they all resented him for it.

Fuck them all. Fuck France. I never spoke a word of French ever again after that. And when I got married, my fiance suggested paris. I wanted to leave him. But that’s a story for another day.

The walk from that room to the nearest hotel felt like 20 seconds. Time went from moving so slow to so fast. My mind was occupied with everything that happened. My life, how two years of love and stress and hurt and crying had all been for nothing. My legs moved at a pace which I don’t even remember. I only realized I had a build up of toxic lactic acid in all of my leg muscles when I reached the hotel and brought myself back to reality to speak to the receptionist.

-I need a room. I need a room and if you don’t have one I’ll sleep on that chair.- I said in English, then I pointed to the worn down arm chair in the reception area where I was standing. The lady behind the desk was a young girl. She looked about 17. She stared at me with concern, then looked down at the computer to see if they were fully booked.

-We have– she cleared her throat. -we have a twin room available, you want it right now I’m guessing?- She replied in perfect English, but with a strong Parisian accent.

-Yes. Sorry, I didn;t mean to come across rude, Ive- Ive had a night.- I apologized, she looked at me sympathetically but she didn’t reassure me that it was okay.

-Room 207, second floor.- She said in a business tone, then she slid me over a keycard. I took it and thanked her.

I came back to France to look for relief and instead I got a heartbreak so much more intense than I expected. So much more. That night I cried myself to sleep. I couldn’t even think about Sam. I just thought about how love is dead. About how the world still continued to selfishly spin after this. Neither of them even had the decency to call. I blocked their numbers about a week after, just in case they called. They never did though.

In the morning I woke up so early to get the first train back home. I kept telling myself I could be depressed there. That was the plan. That train took what felt like years to arrive in london. The whole time I was in tears. Angry tears, sad tears, relief tears. Jean was finally gone, but why like this? I couldn’t listen to music, couldn’t read or write. I just stared at an advert for bellyaches and heartburn for the whole time. Silently resenting everything. Wanting to kill everything.

Why did I have to catch him in bed with my own brother? Was it some kind of karma? I knew I deserved it but I didn't think I needed this much. I know I kissed Sam but I was going to Paris to tell him. I didn’t fuck his sister for a year and 5 months, get an apartment with her and keep in a secret. I would never do something so evil.

I got off the train and took my now familiar walk back to my flat. Walking in I saw Amelia, Sam, Danny, Jake, and Josh in the living room together. I ignored them all and went up to my bed. I regret that now. I needed people. I needed to see, at that moment, that there were decent people. I also regret what I did next.

A few minutes after I had gotten my pajamas on and wiped my eyes for what felt like the millionth time, I heard a knock at my door.

Sam came in before I even asked him to, and he sat next to me. Not saying anything. His presence was warm. I needed it more than I wanted to.

-You cry so much.- He said without looking at me.

-I just caught Jean in bed with my older brother.- I stated. I figured if there was anyone who I should tell, it would be sam.

-you have an older brother?- He asked.

I looked at him quizzically. I smiled, giggled a little.

-I have an older brother, I told you.- I replied. It was as if nothing happened as soon as I looked into his eyes. Nothing was wrong anymore. I didn’t want him to go.

-Why did you go to Paris?- He asked.

-To leave him, to tell him I kissed you, and to tell him that kissing you was not a mistake. I didn’t even get to tell him though, he was too busy with his dick in my brother.- my voice was monotone. I had no shock left, I had sweat it all out, cried it all out. Screamed it all out. I had screamed out every feeling I could. I was just tired now. Even though it was mid afternoon.

-Can I play you something?- He said. I nodded.

He came in a few minutes later with that damn guitar. He didn’t look me in the eye as he sat down right next to me on my bed and bit his lip, thinking about what he should play.

-I’ve never known how to talk.- He said, still looking away from me. I didn’t reply.

-So, I think that music is the only way I can talk sometimes.- He added, looking at me finally.

-It works.- I said.

Sam shifted his hands into a chord and stared at the fretboard. Then with one last look at me, he started talking. Unexplainable magic was created with the way he presents his words through vibrations of the strings, and much like our kiss, every word was understood.

He played for almost ten minutes, starting slow then building up, only to go back to a soft lullaby which began to lull me to sleep. I eventually completely fell into slumber with him next to me. Dropping in and out of sleep, I felt him put the guitar down on the floor gently, then move closer to me and stroke my hair.

I was abruptly awoken by movement at around 6 pm. Sam was still there next to me, half asleep but with his eyes open, he smiled as I turned and looked at him.

-I don’t want you to go, Sammy.- I whispered.

-You haven’t eaten anything..- He replied, stroking my hair again.

I just shook my head.

Sam leaned in and placed his forehead on mine. Then he opened his mouth to speak and closed it again.

-I’m sorry that it didn’t go to plan.- He said.

Tears filled my eyes and he held me as I sobbed. Then my heart took over and I kissed him as hard as I could. My salty tears falling on his cheeks. He gave in immediately and placed his hands all over me, I did the same.

-Fuck me like you love me.- I whispered to him.

He rolled over on top of me and began kissing my neck while trailing his fingers around my navel. I shifted his attention so I could take his shirt off, he then copied my movement and pulled me up to a sitting position so he could strip me off too. Eventually we were skin to skin from the waist up.

He pushed me back down again and put half of his weight on me. His hair hung down over my face and tickled my eyes. He pushed his hair out of the way then caressed my face. Staring into my being.

He then began kissing my neck again, this time cupping one of my breasts in his gracious hands. He kissed down my body and started nibbling the soft skin around my nipple. I groaned and ran my fingers through his hair. He then trailed himself down to my underwear and began pulling them off slowly. With a big smile on his face he looked at me one last time, then disappeared under the duvet covering me.

Not being able to see him made the next moment absolutely jaw dropping. I felt the most intense pressure right to the left of my clit. It was his mouth. The moan I let out was so loud. It made him suck harder, I didn’t even know he could apply more pressure than he was.

He continued sucking and licking and kissing all around and on my clit. Causing a range of different sounds and squirms coming from me. It truly was the best head I had ever received. After five minutes of unexplainable pleasure he stopped and started kissing my thighs and my navel, up my stomach and detouring at my breasts, then moving back to my neck. He then pressed his nose against mine and nodded for my approval for him to fuck me.

He moved my duvet completely off the both of us, revealing all of me to him. He didn’t look down, he continued looking into my eyes as I removed my hands from his hair to the waistline of his pajama shorts. He then helped me pull them down revealing his dick.

Now we were completely skin to skin, I couldn’t help but stare at what was in front of me. He smiled that smile again, then he crashed into me. His lips on mine. I was starting to get used to them. I can’t remember when I had stopped crying, all I felt now was bliss.

Finally, he pushed himself into me. Causing the world to stop around me. Causing all feelings to disappear except for that one. He started off slow, staring into my eyes with his hot breath on my neck. Slowly, lovingly. He was multitasking. Kissing, thrusting.

His hair kept falling back down in front of him. It annoyed him but I enjoyed it. I loved watching his waves caress multiple parts of me, gently dusting me. I couldn’t keep my lips away from his. His saliva was like an elixir. His tongue slowly entered my mouth. As he did it his thrusting became more staggered. The multitasking only went so far. I moved my hands down to his hips and pushed them, indicating I wanted more speed, more tension. He understood and started pounding himself into me. I let out a shriek. Sweat was beading on his forehead, which told me it was my turn. I stopped him and told him to lay down. Then I climbed on top.

I gripped his dick with my hands and held it still, then I raised myself up, high, to put it in. I slowly moved myself down and felt my tightness pull it in deeply. I looked into his eyes. His pupils were dilated, as if he was on drugs. I couldn’t make out his expression. It was like a hidden shock. No smile, just a blank face, but in his eyes I could tell he felt he was dreaming.

I grinded my clit on his slightly unshaven pubes, and moved my hips forwards and then up to pleasure the both of us. Sam’s hands slowly moved up my body. From my knees to my thighs. My thighs to my ass. My ass to my waist. My waist to my ribs. My ribs to my tits. My tits to my neck. He gently pressed his thumb on my windpipe. With his other hand he decided my ass needed more attention. Then unexpectedly, he slapped my ass. I squealed.

Then he moved his other hand back down and pushed me into him further. Holding me there. I couldn’t move my hips anymore.

-I just want to look at you.- He said.

I placed both my hands on his chest and leaned down to kiss him. He moved a piece of my hair out of my face and trailed his hand down my cheek. Then he snapped out of his loving spirit and showed me who he really was.

-Get off.- He said affirmingly. He released his grip on my hips and I did what he said, I got off and sat on the bed next to him.

-Lay down on your stomach.- He continued. He stroked down my back from my shoulders to above my ass. I lied on my stomach waiting for what was next.

-Arch.- Was my next direction from sam.

I slowly arched upwards, he grabbed my hips when I was at the right position. Then he didn’t spend any time finding where to place himself. He pounded into me. I instinctively grabbed the pillow in front of me.

Sam’s hands were symmetrically squeezing into either side of my hips, keeping me in place from the slippery sheets. He was pounding with a fast and hard rhythm, I wished I could see him. I could feel my ass ricocheting against him every time his groin hit me. He went from squeezing both hips, to just squeezing one with the pressure of too. He moved his other hand to my hair. Pulling my head back from off the pillow. I tried not to be loud, as there were people important to us downstairs. Sam didn’t seem to care. He wanted me to scream. He would go harder and more intense until I made a sound. As if my moaning was his music. Directing him to some perfect symphony.

He also didn’t care because he was making sounds. He was heavily grunting. Breathing. mmmmming. Then the talking started.

-You want me to fuck me like I love you?- He said through his grunts.

I let out a moan in response. He pulled my hair up more to get my head closer to his. I was arched onto my hands now, like a mountain lion. He got his face as close to mine as he could.

-Or you want me to fuck you like the slut that you are?- He asked. This time quieter, almost like a whisper. I turned my head enough to get a glimpse of him. He didn’t look angry. He looked blissful, relaxed, in pleasure.

-Go on, say it.- He added. I didn’t say anything.

-I want you to- I want you to..- I tried to get out but I couldn’t. I was too close to speak. Just one more sentence Sam. Just one more and I’m done. Just one more and you’ll have completed me.

-What do you want, baby?- He added again. In more of a sympathetic tone. That was it.

-I want, I want SAM, oh Sam.- I said, louder than I should have. I had reached my climax. I was beyond done. I needed a minute but he didn’t let me have one. He continued as he was, fast and rhythmically.

-That’s right. That’s right.- He slowly said as he slowed down and caressed my hips. Drew circles on my back. He knew now, he knew I needed a minute, he gave me one.

Now he was just slowly pulling back in and out. It was becoming more slippery for him, I knew he could feel the gush from my orgasm. I felt vulnerable but I didn’t mind.

after about a minute of the relaxed pushing from him, he sped up slowly again. Watching my body language in case it was too much. I allowed him to speed up, to finish himself off. I felt less sexy now but I still wanted him. It felt like a dream for me too, however my poker face was better.

The next few minutes consisted on repetitive movements and still hands as Sam focused on himself. I enjoyed it thoroughly and appreciated that he was a gentleman and let me have my time.

With both of us in a daze, he pulled out.

-Sit up.- He said as he was stroking himself. -Quickly.- He added impatiently. I sat perched on my knees, Sam remained on his. I stared at his hair slowly falling in front of his shoulders and his lips twitching while he prepared himself.

He then took his other hand and opened my mouth with his thumb. He pushed himself inside I instinctively started to suck. After a few seconds I felt pulsating and twitching in my mouth. It tasted like salt and sweat. It was warm dripping down my neck. Sam wiped my lips and kissed my head.

-Now you’ve eaten.- He said.

Then he got off my bed, put his underwear on and went straight to the shower. I didn’t follow him.

He’d been waiting seven years for this.

chapter 11

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