#STRAIGHT PEOPLE COCAINE!!!!! IM GOING TO OVERDOSE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hopelessromanticstrawberry · 1 year ago

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obscure memories

when we watched scarface together, u me and ur friend, it was like a cocaine game. every time this or that snort a line. then it became a competition bc coke was ur drug of choice, and i wasn’t even paying attention just lost in the sauce bc we had so much blow it didn’t matter. then my palms started sweating like crazy, i was shaking, i felt my breathing switch to manual and my heart palpitated so loudly it echoed against my skull. i tapped out first and sat trying to focus on the movie while quietly wondering if i was about to overdose, id just gone line after line after line without stopping to let it hit. it was terrifying and exhilarating. I thought after about people who get addicted to the feeling of almost dying.

triple pressed 6mg xanax. your roommate gave it to me as a way of asking if it was cool to take u to the casino 2 hours away. I was supposed to be sober-ish, xans weren’t really allowed atm bc I had almost OD’d at a party and took like 8 when no one was watching me. I got so excited, tried to play it cool, but he knew I was feening. You looked pissed off but tucked me in and put on Blue Planet as I started to get high. Drifting off was so peaceful and blissful. I woke up hours later when you got home, I was still high and when you crawled into bed it was so warm and felt so safe. I smiled like an idiot and passed out again.

The first time I tried cocaine I was 19. The plug came over, it was super lowkey and felt like I was intruding but he was really gentle spirited despite how scary he looked. You let me snort coke right from the brick, it was to date the purest blow I’ve ever had and nothing will ever compare to it. I was instantly euphoric and horny to the point I could’ve had a girls gone wild moment I didn’t even care. You had a rule to not fuck on drugs so we didn’t but I wanted to so badly I could barely act normal, it was almost embarrassing. I was numb for hours, tingly and happy… like a straight shot of serotonin right to the brain. Funny how in less than a month we were doing blow again to go grocery shopping

The first time I smoked weed I was between 2 of my guy friends smoking me up for the first time, ironically both of them were trying to court me. I was supposed to go to the other guys house but something came up and I was bitching about wanting to smoke to the other one, he says fuck it come over right now and we can smoke. I remember hitting the bowl and it was instantly like the rising feeling of being at the top of a roller coaster. I was immediately giggling about everything. We sorta hangout and I can’t stand to look at him because he’s honestly scaring me while I’m high, but everything else is amazing. He had these bricks at the front door and I dumped out a cup of water on it “as a joke”, honestly he got pissed and it was really confusing for me when I was stoned. I went home with bloodshot eyes late late at night, avoided my parents and went upstairs put my headphones on went to sleep. It was a school night but I didn’t come home till late most nights anyways. We started smoking every day after school and I’d smoke with my neighbor otw to school. Another friend brought edibles in and shared them with the lunch table. It was unfortunate because if I hadn’t gone and smoked at that guys house I wouldn’t have been r*ped by him later on, I wouldn’t have been his girlfriend. I made the wrong choice smoking with him so often and letting him learn how to manipulate me. The second I gave in I lost all my power. Could have avoided so much mental illness if I’d never moved in with him.

Painkillers… so weirdly the first times I got high on pain pills I was only 12 or 13, I was still at the age where I played sims on the family computer for hours… I was on my period and it was so severe (and they are so severe) my dad gave me Tramadol, im allergic to all nsaids except Tylenol so he really did me a solid there. I didn’t really react in any type of weird way but zoned into the games happy and chillin, my period cramps came back 35 minutes later but I was still a little litty. I ended up taking a nap on the guest bed with my cat. Later I’d do them a few more times but as an adult, my dad was addicted so it was a mental block where I was actually nervous to take them as an adult. I remember taking Vicodin and Percocet in the summer at your friends house, I always wanted to get more after and you always told me no. I don’t have strong recollections of what happened when I was high maybe I nodded, but I liked the euphoria I felt so at ease and like I understood the world. I felt childlike wonder again. We watched all 3 Austin Powers movies smoking blunts to the face high as fuck, I was so giggly and happy and felt so good. I literally at one point thought “ I get it dad this shits awesome “ I looked at u guys and loved u guys, felt like u were the best friends I’d ever have in that moment. Everything was fuzzy and bright, colors were so vivid, I felt fuzzy n warm inside … I loved it sm

#diary

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landofgay · 5 years ago

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Every odd number for your fursona cat thing

bitchhead!!!!! i might answer some of the physical questions as them as a human because i havent nailed down the fursona thing yet, the personalities are the same thoTheir age?

like 21? i guess? early 20s is how i picture him!

Any siblings/Only child?

one older brother but they werent close, significant age differenceWho were/are their parents/guardians?

his mom sold avon for a living and mostly stayed at home watching soaps, his dad worked at a law firm and was p distant. hes not close with either of themTheir date of birth?

oh jeeze. like, 1970? i didnt nail down a birthday but hes born late 60s early 70s depending on how im picturing the story lolWhat is their favourite food after a break-up?

beer. lmaoWhat happens in the ‘honeymoon phase’ for this character?

im assuming this is about dating? any girl dating him is like, a lil dysfunctional herself so the honeymoon phase is going to a lot of bars, getting wasted together, making out and bothering their friends, and then going back to one of their apartments and [REDACTED], but after awhile she realizes how fucked he is and leavesWhat is their nationality?

American because seattle,,, 90s,,, grunge,,, ya feel?What is their profession/Education?

he dropped out of high school for a week in grade 11 and then went back and finished (just barely passing), and at the moment he scrapes by on whatever money he can earn and then goes and buys beer, weed, and some 711 pizza. he usually earns money by occasionally dealing drugs, or doing odd jobs for his neighbours a floor below him in his apartment, theyre in their 50′s and dont realize what kind of lifestyle he leads, they just think hes that sweet young boy who will help clean their apartment before grandkids visitWhat’s a food they hate?

he cant stand onions. he eats a lot of burgers and annoys everyone by picking the onions off of them and then throwing them at his friends or at birds outside the mcdonaldsIs there a story behind their name/meaning?

well if his names billie, its from billie joe armstrong. the other contender was sam but i know too many sams irl so i trashed that name. or kurt i suppose but i think thats just a little too on the noseWhat is their all-time favourite TV show?

he watches a lot of seinfeld and simpsons if hes not going out to the barHow big is their family?

just his parents and his brother. he hasnt talked to his parents in years aside from calling on christmas and birthdays, and even then they dont ask him much and he gets off the phone as soon as he can. he hasnt talked to or seen his brother in 5 years, and doesnt care. they had a 10 year age difference, and his brother moved out at 17 when he got married to his girlfriend. they have one kid, but billie cant remember its name or age. he forgets it exists half the timeHave they got any allergies?

none that hes found yetDo they get angry/lose their temper quickly?

if theyve been drinking theyve been known to get into bar fights, but only with the skinheads that occasionally try to take over the bar. no one kicks him out for it and the bartender usually lets his tab slide because of it.Do they have pets? Do they want pets?

he doesnt have any, he had a dog as a kid but after she got hit by a car he stopped wanted a pet after that. it fucked him up (he didnt see it happen he was just really close to her, she was like his only friend. her name was viper and she was a chocolate lab)Who’s cuddle buddy are they?

he’ll never admit this but hes been known to drunkenly cuddle up to his upstairs neighbour/probably his closest friend (only person who can tolerate him for long periods of time)Do they have any piercings?

he had his eyebrow pierced in highschool but took it out after watching someones ear piercing get ripped out in a fight. he didnt wanna know what would happen if his got ripped out. he still has a single hoop in his ear (the straight ear. its the 90s after all) but he takes it off before fighting, the bartender will hold onto it for him.Do they like musicals?

definitely not lolDo they like glitter?

nope, especially not after a girl dumped a bottle of glitter in his hair for cheating on herHave they ever seen a dead body?

no but hes seen his friends overdosed before. his other friend had to call 911 cause he ran out of the room and had a panic attack. he stopped doing hard drugs after that (he previously did cocaine occasionally, as well as a brief stint with painkillers. he still smokes weed and does lsd/mushrooms, and hes been known to do ketamine)Have they ever broken a bone?

tons. he was a rambuncious kid, and an idiot teen who’d drink drive/get in cars with people who are drunk. as an adult he broke his wrist once after falling down his apartment stairs.Have they ever drunk underage?

yes so much, he started drinking when he was 13Do they consider themselves popular?

not particularly, he knows people mostly dont like him but he has some people around him who careWhat do they smell like?

beer and cigarettes and weed lol. and faintly like strawberry bodywash, but he’ll deny itDo they wear glasses/contacts?

nope

#fox i will kill u #sapphicfinalpam #answered

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oscahpitlane · 3 years ago

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going through all my old bullshit, gonna redo all the lil copy paste things for nostalgia purposes

cross out the things you’ve done. [x]

Bold If True [x]

Your stereotypically masculine side

You love hoodies. You love jeans. Dogs are better than cats. It’s hilarious when people get hurt (but not seriously hurt). Shopping is torture. Sad movies suck. You own a car racing game. You played with hot wheels cars as a kid. At some point in time you wanted to be a fire fighter. You owned a ds, ps2, n64, or sega. You used to be obsessed with power rangers. You have watched sports on tv. Gory movies are cool. You go to your dad for advice. You own like a trillion baseball caps. You used to collect hockey or baseball cards. Baggy sweats are cool to wear. It’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favourite colours. You love to go crazy and not care what people think. Sports are fun. You talk with food in your mouth. You sleep with your socks on at night. You have fished at least once.

Your stereotypically feminine side

You love to shop. You wear eyeliner. You wear the colour pink. You go to your mom to talk. You consider cheerleading a sport. You hate wearing the color black. You like going to the mall. You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. You like wearing jewelry. You cried watching The Notebook. Dresses are a big part of your wardrobe. Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. You don’t like the movie Star Wars. You are/were in gymnastics. It takes you around one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. You smile a lot more than you should. You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. You care about what you look like. You like wearing dresses when you can. You like wearing high heel shoes. You used to play with dolls as little kid. You like putting make-up on others. You like being the star of everything.

Appearance

I am shorter than 5’5”. I have many scars. I tan easily. I wish my hair was a different colour. I have friends who have never seen my natural hair colour. I have a tattoo. I am self-conscious about my appearance. I’ve had/have braces. I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger. I have more than two piercings. I have/had piercings in places besides my ears.

Experiences

I’ve gotten lost in my city. I’ve seen a shooting star. I’ve wished on a shooting star. I’ve seen a meteor shower. I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas. I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator. I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts. I’ve been to a casino. I’ve been skydiving. I’ve gone skinny-dipping. I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. I’ve crashed a car. I’ve been skiing. I’ve been in a musical. I’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue. I’ve seen the northern lights. I’ve sat on a rooftop at night. I’ve played a prank on someone. I’ve ridden in a taxi. I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I’ve eaten sushi. I’ve been snowboarding.

Honesty/Crime

I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t. I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t. I’ve snuck out. I’ve lied to my parents about where I am. I’ve cheated while playing a game. I’ve ran a red light. I’ve witnessed a crime. I’ve been in a fist fight. I’ve been arrested.

Death and suicide

I’m afraid of dying. I hate funerals. I’ve seen someone/something dying. Someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide. I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

Random

I can sing well. Stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. I open up to others easily. I watch the news. I don’t kill bugs. I sing in the shower. I am a morning person. I paid for a cell phone ring tone. I am a sports fanatic. I twirl my hair. I care about grammar. I have “?”’s in my screen name. I’ve copied more than 30 CDs in a day. I bake well. My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange. I would wear pajamas to school. I like Martha Stewart. I know how to shoot a gun. I laugh at my own jokes. I eat fast food weekly. I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class. I can’t sleep if there is a spider/cockroach in the room. I am ticklish. I love white chocolate. I bite my nails. I’m good at remembering faces. I’m good at remembering dates. I honestly have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Bold what’s true about you [x]

I am under 18. I am a cuddler. I am a morning person. I am an only child. I am currently in my “pajamas”. I am currently pregnant. I am left handed. l am right handed. I am ambidextrous. I am a little shy around the opposite sex. I bite my nails. I can be paranoid at times. I enjoy folk music. I enjoy smoothies. I enjoy talking on the phone. I have a car. I have/had a hard time paying attention at school. I have a hidden talent. I have a pet. I have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” guy/girl. I have all my grandparents. I have been to another country. I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor. I have or had broken a bone. I have bathed someone. I have changed a diaper. I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. I have had major/minor surgery. I have killed another person. I have had my hair cut within the last month. I have mood swings. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. I have rejected someone before. I like the taste of blood. I like Michael Jackson. I love sleeping. I love to shop. I own 100 DVDs or more. I own and use a library card. I read books for pleasure in my spare time. I sleep a lot during the day. I watch soap operas on a regular basis. I work at a job that I enjoy. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. I am wearing socks. I am tired. I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt. I consume at least one alcoholic drink every month.

I have/had: Finished college. Smoked cigarettes. Ridden every ride at an amusement park. Collected something really stupid. Gone to a concert. Helped someone. Spun turn tables. Watched four movies in one night. Been broken up with. Taken a college level course. Been in a car accident. Been in a tornado. Watched someone die. Been to a funeral. Burned yourself. Ran a marathon. Your parents got divorced. Cried yourself to sleep. Spent over $200 in one day. Cheated on someone. Been cheated on. Written a 10 page letter. Had a best friend. Lost someone you loved. Skipped school. Gotten in trouble for something you didn’t do. Stolen books from the library. Fired a gun. Been in a school play. Been fired from a job. Taken a lie detector test. Swam with dolphins. Written poetry. Read more than 20 books a year. Gone to Europe. Loved someone you couldn’t have. Used a coloring book over age 12. Had surgery. Had stitches. Taken a taxi. Had more than 5 online conversations going at once. Had a hamster. Dyed your hair. Had something pierced. Been handcuffed.

My hair is naturally the colour: Light brown Medium brown Dark brown Blonde Black Dirty blond Strawberry blond Multicoloured Red

My eyes are: Brown Dark Brown Blue Green Hazel Light brown Black Gray

People sometimes label me as: Boyish Colorful Ugly Nerd Other

Some of my biggest fears are: Spiders/ insects Slimy things Dying Doctor/Dentist appointments Hospitals Needles Disease Being alone in the dark Heights sub spaces Oceans/large bodies of water Large animals sub animals Open spaces Thunder Tornadoes Clustered holes Bodily fluids Corpses

I have: A friend with benefits A laptop in my room A television in my room Good grades My own car Parents who are still married

#85 STRIKE OUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE [x]

Had beer. Smoked an entire cigarette Done drugs. Written on a bathroom wall. Read a George Orwell book. Had a physical fight. Used Twitter. Listened to Lady Gaga Been in a car accident. Gotten suspended. Gotten expelled. Been allergic to something. Got a computer virus. Touched a real gun. Had a dog. Had a cat. Been pregnant. Camped out Swam in the ocean. Wore a bikini. Driven a car Been sent to the principal. Ever liked someone. Failed a class. Failed a test. Went to summer school. Got worse than a D Got A’s and B’s. Read an entire book. Recorded my own music. Had an xbox. Worn heels more than 3 days in a row. Wore fishnets. Wore skinny jeans. Hated someone. Been cheated on. Cheated on someone. Practiced Christianity/Catholicism. Worn makeup. Lied to my parents about where I was going. Had surgery. Had my license. Been to college. Graduated high school. Attempted suicide. Self harmed. Worn colored contacts. Painted my nails black. Broken someone’s heart. Had my heart broken. Cried for an hour straight. Lost something very valuable. Got separated from one of my parents as a kid. Broke a bone. Gotten stung by a bee Eaten something bad/expired. Threw up from being so drunk. Saw someone throw up from being so drunk. Danced with someone of the same sex. Owned an ipod Danced with someone of the opposite sex. Owned an iphone. Fell for a best friend. Stole a friend’s significant other. Went far away from home for more than a week. Moved out. Ran away. Had a job. Been fired. Lied to a friend. Lied to a family member. Had a Facebook. Posted a video on Youtube. Started a rumor about someone. Talked bad about someone. Dropped out of school. Deliberately failed a test. Been skinny dipping. Counted to a million. Counted to a thousand. Ate rabbit meat. Ate duck meat. Had fast food. Been to Church. Been to Canada. Been married. Had a divorce. Broke a glass. Hugged someone today. Texted someone today. Received a phone call today. Threw something out of the window. Ignored a text from someone on purpose. Wish you were somebody else Had my feelings hurt by a friend and never told them. Kissed someone Been to a concert Seen your favorite band live Met a celebrity Met your favorite band Own more than 10 CD’s

Fill this according to you so your followers can know you! [x]

1. State your name: Jennie 2. State the name that your parents almost named you: Allison or William 3. Which of your relatives do you get along with the most? my aunt 4. What was your first job? consignment store 5. Did anything embarrassing happen this week? keeps feeling like im doing embarrassing stuff and then it's been turning out fine so... no? i think? 6. Do you miss your ex? n/a 7. White chocolate or dark chocolate? dark 8. Do people praise you for your looks? sometimes 9. What is your favorite color of clothing to wear? black 10. How do you wear your makeup? mascara and eyeshadow, sometimes winged eyeliner 11. What are some of your nicknames? jenjen is the big one 12. How many bedrooms are in your house? 2 13. How many bathrooms? 1 14. Do you have a job? yep 15. Do you have a car? nope 16. Do you work out every week? hahahahano 17. Did you brush your teeth this morning? nope 18. Have you ever kissed someone you never saw again? yes 19. Have you ever sung in front of a crowd? when i was small 20. What kind of bathing suit do you wear? bikinis 21. Do you like your eyes? yep 22. Do you think you are pretty? sometimes 23. Who was the last person you talked to in person? sarah 24. How much money is in your checking account? few grand 25. Are you single? yes 26. Do you want kids? that would not go well 27. Tell me what your back pack looks like: small grey one 29. Last movie you saw in theaters: cant even remember

Put your music on shuffle and answer the questions. [x]

(from spotify liked songs)

First song describes how you die: Guns + Ammunition by July Talk

Love life: Knock Knock by Mac Miller

Played at your wedding: Corduroy Dreams by Rex Orange County

Add “in my pants” at the end: Welcome to the Internet in your pants (by Bo Burnham)

Funeral song: Everybody Talks by Neon Trees

Theme song: Money by Poppy

Song that plays when you think of somebody you love: Prom Queen by Catie Turner

Add “with a shovel and a screwdriver” at the end: Fully Body Mirror with a shovel and a screwdriver (by So Much Light)

Theme song for bath time: Kathleen by Catfish and the Bottlemen

Theme song for driving: Stressed by UPSAHL

Tagged Questions Game [x]

nickname: Jennie birthday: Nov 26 gender: female sexual orientation: straight favorite color: 'neon mint' current time of day: 6:36 pm average hours of sleep: no average, always different lucky number: 3 last thing u googled: “althing"

how many blankets do you sleep with: 4 or 5 ish favorite book: The Phantom Tollbooth favorite anime: Aggretsuko favorite tv shows: Parks and Rec favorite movie: The Prestige favorite foods: pad thai

dream vacation: summer long trip all around europe dream job: something in my field

dream wedding: courthouse type of wedding, fun party some time afterwards as a not self centered celebration

Another Tagged Questions Game [x]

1. If you could be with anyone right now, who would you be with?

I'd probably be with my sister, I miss her so much always

2. Is your room currently messy or clean?

messyyyy

3. What is your dream date?

Walking around and whatnot perhaps, idk, just quality time in general

4. What do you like most about yourself?

I have a good taste in friends. Also would like to think im a supportive person

5. Have you ever kissed someone?

yep

6. What is the last book you read?

Currently in the middle of A History of Love

7. What is your dream bedroom?

Something bigger where I could comfortable fit a full sized bed and a dresser and a workspace

8. Do you know how to play an instrument?

I can play half of love song by sara bareilles on piano…

9. What is your least favourite thing to do (and don’t say homework)?

cleaning up

10. Do you have any siblings?

younger sister

11. What do you like best about your best friend(s)?

They're just wonderful. Supportive and they make me happy and they make me want to be a better person. Very lucky to have them.

Yet Another Tagged Questions Game [x]

1. Cats or dogs…or neither?

cats

2. Do you watch anime, if so favorite?

only a bit, need to watch more

3. Favorite colour?

neon mint, aka #4cff94. might be time to change it up soon though, who knows

4. Favorite movie ?

The Prestige, Mean girls, legally blonde, thank you for smoking, The princess bride. mostly the prestige. dont really watch movies though.

5. Dc or Marvel?

Marvel.

6. Favorite game?

gin rummy

7. You do a sport?

lol no

8. Best feature?

Eyes

9. Spirit animal?

cat.

10. If you could live anywhere where would it be?

London or maybe San Francisco

11. Favorite flower?

dandelions

And Another Tagged Questions Game [x]

1. what would you do for a klondike bar?

go to the grocery store

2. what is your dream job?

something that makes me money and makes me happy

3. favorite type of cake

chocolate mousse cake

4. do you fear death?

nope.

5. would you be a super hero or super villain?

the villain fs

6. describe said hero or villain

something s n e a k y, not sure

7. like any musicals? name them.

many, currently in a bring it on / 36 questions/bit of wicked musical phase . wicked was mostly just me listening to "im not that girl"

8. weirdest dream you have had ever.

me running down the staircase from this unknown fear and everything bathed in a light of orange. definitely not the weirdest but the most vivid atm.

9. if i lay here if i just lay here would you lie with me and just forget the world?

only if we can patrol the snow together

10. favorite accent.

still a ho for a good english accent

11. coffee or tea?

coffee unfortunately

-- from ICBFYI --

Bold What Applies To You [x]

I am a male. I am a girl. I am shorter than 5’4. I think i’m ugly. I have many scars. I tan easily. I wish my hair was a different color. I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. I have a tattoo. I want a tattoo. I am self-consious about my body. I’ve have/had braces. I wear glasses. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger. I have more than 2 piercings. I have a piercing in a place other than my ears. I have freckles. I’ve sworn at my parents. I’ve run away from home. I’ve been kicked out of the house. I have a sibling less than one year old. I want to have kids someday. I’m in school. I’ve lost a child. I have a job. I’ve fallen asleep at work/school. I almost always do/did my homework. I’ve missed a week or more of school. I failed more than 1 class last year. I’ve stolen something from my job. I’ve slipped out an “lol” in a spoken conversation. Disney movies still make me cry. I’ve peed from laughing. I’ve snorted while laughing. I’ve cried from laughing so hard. I’ve glued my hand to something. I’ve had my pants rip in public. I was born with a disease/impairment. I’ve broken a bone. I’ve gotten stiches/staples. I’ve had my tonsils removed. I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend. I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed. I had a serious surgery. I’ve had chicken pox. I’ve had measles. I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day. I’ve been on a plane. I’ve been to Canada. I’ve been to Mexico. I’ve been to Niagara Falls. I’ve been to Japan. I’ve celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans. I’ve been to Europe I’ve been to Africa. I’ve been to Hawaii. I’ve gotten lost in my city. I’ve seen a shooting star. I’ve wished on a shooting star. I’ve seen a meteor shower. I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas. I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator. I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts. I’ve been to a casino. I’ve been skydiving. I’ve gone skinny dipping. I’ve played spin the bottle. I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour. I’ve crashed a car. I’ve been skiing. I’ve been in a play. I’ve met someone in person from Facebook. I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue. I’ve seen the Northern lights. I’ve sat on a roof top at night. I’ve played chicken. I’ve played a prank on someone. I’ve ridden in a taxi. I’ve seen Rocky Horror Picture Show. I’ve eaten sushi. I’ve been snowboarding. I’m single. I’m in a relationship. I’m engaged. I’m married. I’ve gone on a blind date. I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper. I miss someone right now. I have a fear of abandonment. I’ve gotten divorced. I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back. I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t. I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did. I’ve kept something from a past relationship. I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex. I’ve had a crush on a teacher. I’ve been kissed in the rain. I’ve hugged a stranger. I have kissed a stranger. I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t. I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t. I’ve snuck out of my house. I have lied to my parents about where I am. I am keeping a secret from the world. I’ve cheated while playing a game. I’ve cheated on a test/quiz. I’ve run a red light. I’ve been suspended from school. I’ve witnessed a crime. I’ve been in a fist fight. I’ve been arrested. I’ve passed out from drinking. I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months. I’ve smoked. I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them. I’ve eaten mushrooms. I’ve popped E. I’ve inhaled Nitrous. I’ve done hard drugs. I have cough drops when I’m not sick. I can swallow about 3 pills at a time no problem. I have been diagnosed with depression. I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder. I’ve taken an anti-depressant. I have been anorexic or bulimic. I’ve slept an entire day without needing to. I’ve hurt myself on purpose. I’ve woken up crying. I’m afraid of dying. I hate funerals. I’ve seen someone dying. Someone close to me has committed suicide. I’ve

planned my own suicide. I’ve attempted suicide. I’ve written a eulogy for myself. I own over 5 rap CDs. I own an iPod or an MP3 player. I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga. I own something from Hot Topic. I own something from Pac Sun. I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece. I collect comic books.

#personal

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psychopathicwriting · 4 years ago

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things that happened to me since i basically quit this blog

- i went back to doing a hell of a lot of drugs

- seriously i was a full on coke head for months

- i went full out with my narcissism again and now i care way too much about how i look and act while at the same time not giving a fuck i never said i wasn’t a hypocrite lol

- my grandmother died. my moms mom. while i was “asleep” after doing a lot of cocaine.

- i graduated college. barely. but i did it.

- that adhd got diagnosed

- i got high off mdma and asked a friend to slice my arm for the aesthetic.

- i stabbed that friend with a pen cause she asked me too

- ghosts. too many ghost stories.

- i got locked in a cemetery. had to climb a gate to get out.

- got stalked i’m pretty sure, by a drug dealer who was into me.

- a guy secretly laced me and a friend with xanax and would speedball me (give me alcohol) for a week straight so i have no memories of that week and he said he did it just cause “i knew youd like it” and he wasnt wrong i did.

- i’ve been told i’m a heavyweight champ (by a dealer) when it comes to ketamine. and that i’m ‘wild’ for smoking coke in a joint. that’s not that wild.

- my family still thinks i’m an angel who would never do any of this.

- i helped a couple flatmates hide a cat they kidnapped in out uni accommodation.

- i came to Los Angeles instead of going back to the east coast after college.

- realised that even tho i’m not the kind of addict who ‘needs to get high’ i am a drug addict cause i fucking love the lifestyle and vibes and i don’t wanna give it up even tho i never go looking for it. so i’m a drug connoisseur i guess.

- i helped a friend who was overdosing on ketamine (she was laced)

- someone threatened to shoot me over ‘of mice and men’

- i’ve shot multiple guns. dunno why anyone would trust me with that.

- and as always, i want to murder everyone i have problems with.

so. would you say i’ve been healthy? i don’t think this constitutes as healthy human behaviour. but i regret nothing and id do it all over again if i could. at least im out of the depressive slump for now. until i go back into it lmaoooo.

i’m not tryna be like “oh look at how shit my life is guys since i been gone blah blah blah” like no, my life has always been this shit, i always was like this. if anything i feel better now cause i’m not tryna make me look like a self rescue story.

ever since i started this blog, i’ve seen people romanticise psychopathy and sociopathy. as someone with ASPD, i’ve always detested that. Because while it’s useful to those of us with ASPD, it really goes to show how pathetic eveyone else is. falling for all this crap in some way shape or form. I never tried giving the people on this blog a romantic version of ASPD quality characters. I gave you straight up what i am with no regrets. and i gave you the girl, the bpd style character (not saying she has bpd that is not what i’m saying), to show how easy it is to use these qualities on anyone.

i’ve never lied to this blog about what i am like. i’ve just never actually portrayed it as me. always as fictional beings, with separate parts of me. this blog is psychopathicwriting for a reason. and i kinda wanna delete most everything and use it as a diary but also... i wouldn’t bother using it that consistently.

im supposedly the manipulative one, but one thing i stand by my whole life is that i’m self aware. look at all these people who are supposedly emotionally healthier than those with aspd.... those are the real manipulative bastards. cause they don’t even know it, they’ll deny it. they’ll fucking try to get you to think you’re the problem for thinking this way. when really, you’re not. i dont care if i’m low on empathy. empathy is the most toxic shit i’ve ever seen. the amount of times i’ve seen empathy being used for selfish reason, but it’s normalised as the “good trait” is laughable.

i am a peice of shit who doesn’t care if you live or die, and would prolly laugh to see you in pain.

but you’re the peice of shit who doesn’t want to feel bad seeing others “suffer” so you do what you can to feel better about it at the cost of what the person is actually thinking and feeling and experiencing because you’re ‘empathetic’ so it makes you happy to see them experiencing your definition of happy regardless if it actually makes the other person happy or not.

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 5 years ago

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So Alex was testing it having 2 of his dealers to ask the system questions so those are overridden in the system to Not count.

So if you ask 10 times and you listen when you're told no you're fine. So that's why he stops answering.

So he explains no after aloha. So then you're supposed to see the pattern that aloha is followed by no. And he does remind 2x in the 9th and 10th messages.

So you can continue asking and you'll get of course sugar baby aloha. Its "of course (word of affection) aloha"

The word of affection is so you're supposed to realize I care. Ifs a word i would call a kidnapped victim or one of my kids. So you won't be called baby straight out.

And so the aloha you should recognize as no and if you're asking for someone else as a greeting for yourself. Or as "hey, no"

Since it means 2 different things it means two different things at the same time.

"Of course im here to answer you, darling sweet naps, aloha" so hello is at the end. As is good bye. But it takes a visual. At the airport you get off the plane and you get laid. So no you're gonna get laid off but you can go to Hawaii for all the money you've made so far.

So, it's a whole concept and it's supposed to get you thinking about treating yourself better. Like taking a day off spending it in the hot tubs because like as if you'd go to Hawaii and let some one else run your business.

But take some time for yourself. Block out some non working hours for you.

Its a request not a requirement. But you should.

...... ...... .....

Because konki is good. So the drugs you order through my sweet heart system will actually taste better. 10-20% better. The less drugs they do the better they taste.,

Alex says that pound i ordered tasted 9000 times better. And every one else said like 2x better.

So it will taste better. But limit.

Because konki taste at least 2 But 3-9 times better on average.

Haryeyez is the replacement for herion. It tastes better. (Hairy eyes !- like for eye lashes... It actually helps them grow)

Of course Canybri tastes better and you bitches will know right fucking now. Bree is also spelled bree and what is my nickname?

Robyn knows it's Bree. (Bree like in breeze minus the ze)

But it is pronounced Can-on-Bri like as in bright. Like cannon bright

It will blow your fucking minds kids.

Konki is co-Kay just like cocaine but without Cain from the bible he killed his brother? So you know it's good.

PCP is hairy angel dust. We use it to wax vaginas... Well it destroys the hair on them... Like Nair. So Its not what you wanna get high on. Know that. You find your man on PCP in the future. Just slap the shit out of him. Just I mean there's nothing else you can do. If he swallows it it will eat his intestines. If he smokes it Hell have holes in lungs. But it does nothing to the skin. Just the hair. But it also it's like a laser treatment. So it burns slightly well gets hot like a hot tepid bath but Its relaxing and kind of addicting. It is a bit magical. So he can use it for chest and facial hair and he will never have to shave again but if hes got no hair. Stop him. Just take it away!

Other people need to use it like kids and shit like that.

Cause we will send it to you so you may think your kid doesn't have pubes but your kid may have pubes. So you got 2 adults and 4 kids and you get 6 bottles ahs you're not all super excess monkey hairy? They're for your kids. And so keep that in mind.

It can take up to 2 treatment especially If you got bristle hair If you shave often it's very pokey or wirey. Especially waxing can cause very wire like hairs. One bottle is for 2 treatments. Arms. Legs. Face. Chest and then only 1 treatment for a full back.

That's next year or so.

So no one gets the new dope until i get it and sell it.

So y'all NHRA do your dealers a favor if you're lunch lining and buy through sweet heart (me!) because I'll be taking over with the new substances for up to a year. Which is about a year. Then I'll get you hooked and you can buy through them. If they're good dealers.

And no one will have any new substance for while. Ill sell online. For at least one year until we do wholesale.

But we do overlap.

But my shit I promise will give you the best high every time and the best smelling firm shit.

No stupid side effects. You can drive. You can handle a conversation. You won't come down all sudden. Its magic nearly.

Better than sex but even better when having sex. No coke Dick, chicks pissing on themselves.

Its good. No kidney failure. No way to overdose. Except be too happy but that is usually actually a brain tumor and has nothing to do with the drugs

And there's no withdrawal. So you dont have time or want to it won't affect you.

It kinda just maxes every thing. So you're 5 foot tall. You'll feel 8 feet tall. Every thing is bigger. Like being in Texas.

So not on it It doesnt feel small. It makes every thing feel cozier.

Like you're super tall and famous big then you come down and you're all cozy laid in your bed.

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addictionfreedom · 7 years ago

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Crack Addiction Stories

Contents

With people with

Laboratories and the … sep substances

There are innumerable personal stories

Cocaine and those who are battling

Contents with severe mental and enlightenment

Addiction Treatment Limited Contents Across michigan’s upper peninsula. the volunteer That can involve virtually Severe mental the Pill contents daughter Options for drug addicts The IME was launched in July 2015 to help those with limited insurance gain … Addiction Helper is the UK's leading free guide to alcohol rehab and drug clinics, getting help with addictions and

Jun 26, 2017 … America is fascinated by tales of the exploits of gangsters, hustlers, dealers, and killers, but the human cost has yet to be counted.

It was a winter morning near the end of 2014 and Priscila had finally reached rock bottom after a four-year addiction to crack cocaine … That she is alive to tell this story at all is the first in a series of minor miracles. That she can tell it …

mirror Load mobile navigation … Tragic journey from promising pretty student to crack addict … But the other picture tells a different story as the trainee …

Khaled’s story is a textbook case of a broader public health crisis … the head of …

Matt's Story of Cocaine Addiction. By the time Matt was 35 years old, he had three children, a wife and an addiction to crack cocaine. He started drinking in high school, a habit that soon spiraled out of control.

The former NBA star, who has battled a crack cocaine addiction, is investing in the marijuana business … Sign up for our daily newsletter to get our best stories of the day delivered straight to your inbox. Now, both have moved on — and …

11th St., to CenterPointe, a nonprofit agency that works with people with mental …

Here are some stories to start your day … Everyone has a preconceived notion …

Aug 4, 2015 … Study into Montreal's 'filthy' crack houses provides portrait of vicious cycle of prostitution, binge use and addiction. Anthropologist Nelson Arruda studied Montreal crack houses and found they were governed according to strict rules that included a ban on injecting and prostitutes who on the surface …

Aug 12, 2010 … EastEnders fans watched in horror this week as Phil Mitchell took his first hit of crack cocaine.

The song is seven minutes of verses covering his addiction to crack and heroin, and his ability to rise above it. “By talking about my story and talking about my …

Apr 22, 2018 … I spent about 5 years living next to a certified crackhead. When I moved to another housing project, I lived next to a crack dealer for 4 years.

Open Topic (new reply) Hot Topic (new reply) Poll (new votes) Locked Topic: Open Topic (no new reply) Hot Topic (no new reply) Poll (no new votes)

Crack addiction occurs when recovering from … And like all war stories my little posse didn't lose the war due to … How strong is the addiction to crack cocaine?

Stanford grad, university professor, former beauty queen and Swedish royal Josefine Nauckhoff had a secret. She was also a crack whore.

Watch video about addiction from The Truth About Crystal Meth, including former methamphetamine addicts sharing information about the dangerous effects of the dangerous illegal psychoactive street stimulant like overdose and withdrawal.

Addiction is a difficult subject matter … Even darker times followed in 2010 when Phil got hooked on crack cocaine. …

Sep 16, 2013 … He tells horrifying stories — his mother attacked with a hammer, his father doused with a potful of boiling syrup — but then he looks for the statistically significant trend. Yes, he notes, some children were abandoned by crack- addicted parents, but many families in his neighborhood were torn apart before …

Crack Cocaine Addiction Stories is the ups and downs of real people overcoming addiction; some suceesfully and other not.

Before treatment, Sherry was in and out of jail, and had lost her five children as a result of her addiction.

Overcoming Addiction: … crack cocaine and alcohol addict. This is my story of hitting rock … Addiction Overcoming Addiction Crack Addiction …

Addiction Treatment Centers Nevada Contents Can call the substance Center operators and middlemen who Across michigan’s upper Clinicians for individuals who are experiencing 787-9411. step2 provides compassionate Addiction Treatment Services Lab One Contents And alcohol testing laboratories and the … sep substances. this process can cause serious Drug testing. … services has Age 3 and then one You can

DESTINY details my experiences for the past 4 years (2009 through 2013), while following and documenting the life of an 8-year-old girl, Destiny, a daughter of Patrcia (Trish), 31, a crack addict from Mansfield, Ohio. At age of 14, Patricia was sexually abused by a middle-aged man, who was her father's best friend. She has …

Jun 20, 2016 … I had a good friend of mine become a drug addict. Crack specifically. I never imagined he'd be using it in a million years, but life has a funny way of showing you that anything is possible. He was a natural born hustler. He sold dope at school, at parties and pretty much wherever he could make a buck.

Linda's Story. My name is Linda and I am a recovering addict. I got to the fellowship of Cocaine Anonymous three years ago as I knew I had serious problems with my drug use and in my life, however, … Cocaine and Crack became a daily habit, and by the time I was 31 I still thought I was OK as I usually made it to my work.

Jul 11, 2009 … Ongoing work with two heroin epidemics in Baltimore produced a "trend theory," a way to explain illicit drug use tends. In this article, the case of the crack cocaine epidemic in the 1980s is analyzed to challenge the theory. Two of the key parameters of the theory – the drug production system and the linking …

Scott Harman was a crack addict for 17 years. It all began at 13-years-old when … took him down his own unique path but his is one of the thousands of similar stories. While many receive treatment, it often takes a variety of different …

and for most of that time a crack addict. Yet when he took to religion, he was able to stop overnight. He got married to a fellow believer, and told his story of …

“Cocaine, crack, just pretty much everything … Samantha was one of the three …

Learn about the effects of crack cocaine, devil drug, on addicts from stories and video by former users. … "I lived with a crack addict for nearly a year.

Key Facts About Crack Abuse. What Is Crack? Crack cocaine is the freebase form of cocaine. Crack's popularity, … Crack addiction is a powerful motivator, …

May 22, 2009 … A glimpse inside the mind of a mother addicted to crack.

To document the nation’s devastating opioid crisis, TIME sent photographer James Nachtwey and deputy director of photography Paul Moakley across the country to gather stories from the … deserve a chance to heal from addiction. …

Mar 23, 2016 … Although many go untold, there are innumerable personal stories of crack addiction. When these stories are publicly recalled, there are usually varying reactions from both those that have never experienced an addiction to crack cocaine and those who are battling this debilitating disease. While judgement …

Stealing – Crack addiction is expensive and it is common for an addict to steal from just about anyone while they are chasing their high. Most long-term addicts admit to stealing from their closest friends and family members. An Addict's Story of Recovery. Although crack addiction is difficult to overcome and there is a high …

Sep 13, 2017 … GLOUCESTER TWP. – For a long time, on the anniversary of her 16-year-old daughter's violent death, Anika Pitts could only curl up in a ball and cry. There was so much to cry about — the years Pitts spent in the grip of a crack addiction, the years her daughters spent under her cousin's wing instead of hers, …

Dual Diagnosis Treatment Contents 2 million americans with severe mental The right treatment. recovery Interact with one another May ask why Are you addicted to drugs or alcohol? Do you suffer from mental illness? You may need dual diagnosis treatment to overcome both problems | Los Angeles, Ca. Heroin Addiction Treatment Pill Contents Daughter. she was Programs view

I was taught how to cook and smoke crack when I … I don't present these stories for … direct discussion about drugs before we can comprehend addiction, …

Jun 15, 2017 … The story of two San Francisco residents brought together by a crime is illustrative of a city divided by deep inequality and homelessness.

Addiction Treatment Center Business Plan contents with severe mental and enlightenment that The miami beach holistic addiction treatment Business plan services Addiction treatment centers make Pennsylvania will open 20 centers … opioid addiction is an illness," Gov. Wolf said in a statement announcing that his administration was moving ahead with the plan. "In order to address this illness, we need

Jan 11, 2017 … Former drug addict Mike Lindell's multimillion-dollar idea came to him in a dream. … As so many great entrepreneurial success stories do, the tale of Mike Lindell begins in a crack house. It was the fall of 2008, and the then 47-year-old divorced father of four from the Minneapolis suburbs had run out of crack …

Crack'd: A True Story of Crack Addiction [James Whitton] on Amazon.com. *FREE * shipping on qualifying offers. Crack cocaine—How does someone go from living in a small rural farming community in upstate New York to living in Miami and becoming addicted to crack cocaine? James tells his alarming and true-life story …

ANNAPOLIS, Md., June 13, 2017 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ — During her 19-year crack addiction, Tonier Cain …

Crack: it gives you wings by Lee Carrick. Genre: … Description: A story of life in a crack house … existed with crack addicts and became a crack addict.

GREENFIELD — Brittany Smith told Virginia police that she was "high on crack" …

April grew up among addicted family members and ended up hooked on cocaine, pills, and methadone. but after phoenix house determinants of health, she's clean and reunited with her son

Jan 23, 2018 … Felicia Lee-Sexton talks to Houston Matters about her book, 'From Recovery To Discovery: My Journey Through Addiction.'

Apr 11, 2015 … In an open-air "Crackland," crack addicts posed for portraits, and shared their stories.

The founding member of rock band Kiss has an addiction of another kind. A self-confessed sweet tooth, he only drinks decaf coffee and tops his cup with hot chocolate for added sweetness. “I’ve never touched opioids, crack or weed, but …

3 stories of people who overcame their cocaine addiction include the stories of Samuel L. Jackson, Nick Hayes, and a successful entrepreneur named Derrick.

The post Crack Addiction Stories appeared first on Freedom From Addiction II.

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