#STOP MAKING ME HAVE EMOTIONS NIGHTOW

[revenantghost]

I can't remember who said this or where, but I remember seeing someone once try brainstorming what Legato would be like in a softer world, where he could heal or not even go through the trauma that made him who he was... And it was so impossible to even consider that the conversation went nowhere.

We see trauma explored in so many ways in Trimax, to the point that I've called it one of, if not the story's main theme. We see people not dealing with their trauma, we see people crippled by it, we see people overcoming it, we see it saving others from being abused, we see it drive people into being abusers. But the fact that this child was so deeply mistreated and scarred to such a sickening degree, and then was thrust into an environment where being useful was his only value to the point that he barely had a chance to become his own person, to the point that his entire psyche is shattered... Man, Legato fucks me up.

[hikennosabo]

trimax vol 10 random thoughts (ch 5-8)

part 1 here.

okay, time for part 2. i don't want to do this, i have a pit in my stomach.

chapter 5:

destroying razlo's punishers... a good strategy!

getting leverage to jump by stepping on his leg, i love it

you could say he. he was. *wheeze*... i guess you could say he was... ...disarmed... [a comically large hook drags me off the stage]

wolfwood and razlo just met today (not technically but y'know), but he can read razlo so well already, taunting him like this.

THIS FIGHT...!!! it's reminding me of vash vs knives in the finale of the 98 anime! one black gun and one white gun, and them being on even ground, making the same moves...

they're an even match when they're just whaling on each other, but wolfwood has tactics that razlo doesn't. also this is an insanely cool move.

chapter 6:

^ how it feels to read trigun maximum (said again)

^ how it feels to read trigun maximum (said for a third time)

he knows wolfwood is dying. we know wolfwood is dying. he can't do anything to stop it. we can't do anything to stop it. (except for refusing to keep turning the pages, i guess)

THEY HAVE NAMES?

vash can't do anything to stop wolfwood from dying, but he can help wolfwood go out on his own terms...

PLEASE, HE'S ALREADY DYING, WE DON'T NEED YET ANOTHER DEATH FAKEOUT FOR THE BOOKS.

livio interfering... i'm not an expert but this is not how DID works. but sure. the drama carries it.

WHY AND HOW IS CHAPEL STILL ALIVE FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

razlo realizes very fast that chapel never cared. despite his verbal denial, i think he was realizing way before this.

DESERVED!!! YES.... KILL!!!!!!

of course razlo can only attack. attack, like how he killed livio's parents. not that chapel doesn't deserve it, but this is the only thing razlo knows how to do.

ough. livio apologizing... "i'm okay now"...

so is razlo just gone now? like i said, i'm not a DID expert, i know re-integration(? not sure if that's the correct term sorry) is possible, but i don't know if this is how it works...

honestly, i feel bad for razlo. he only knew a life of violence, he was manipulated and indoctrinated by chapel, all he wanted was to be needed but his last experiences are finding out that chapel didn't care about him and then livio telling him he doesn't need him anymore. poor guy.

chapter 7:

oh, no, i don't want to read this chapter again. don't make me read this chapter again.

the difference between this and tristamp... stamp had the orphanage much more directly tied to EoM, and a bunch of guys in suits came to pick wolfwood up. this scene is a lot more "normal," a lot less obviously suspicious. idk if i'd go so far as to say stamp!melanie was in on the whole thing, but she doesn't look happy about wolfwood leaving... i do wonder how stampede will handle all this... ANYWAY!

"six years"... lmao. now i understand what people meant when they said the timeline is confusing. it's killing me and i hate it, actually?! nightow ALL you had to do was NOT specify a number!!!

the coins... i constantly forget about them and i find it funny whenever they're brought up... they were so clearly meant to set the ghg up as a shonen battle enemy-of-the-month type thing but then that got thrown off the rails when the magazine ceased publication and everything got turned upside down. yet the coins persist. what are they all for in the end.

also i'm sad. this is wolfwood's paltry attempt at pushing vash away. (also he's been carrying rai-dei's coin this whole time?! lol?! that's also sad... just waiting to give it to vash i guess...)

"this is the way you want it? are you sure?" i'm just fucking inconsolable at this point.

of course this attempt at sincere emotion is deflected. you boys are so, so, so, so, so stupid.

i can't do this man. i can't review the couch scene. i'm crying too much.

the prayer. this especially is getting to me. we've seen wolfwood pray a few times, but now it's vash's turn to pray. we've never seen him do that. and while vash was there to answer wolfwood's prayer... there is no one to answer vash.

what if i climbed into the microwave right fucking now.

ourgh. out of all the images in this chapter, this is the one that stuck with me the most. even more than the couch images. ugh, i can't even fucking write.

chapter 8:

i don't know where else to say this...? lol but livio's personality is different, he's cute now. is this because he broke out of the EoM brainwashing or because he integrated with(???) razlo? (once again: IS this how this works???) or is it both? either way he's a lot more expressive than he was before...

other people have already talked about how we didn't see the burial. i'm also thinking about everything else we didn't see. vash buried wolfwood, and he also cleaned up outside, brought livio in and laid him down, gathered ingredients and started cooking...

how long did he sit on that couch for before he moved. how much and how hard did he cry. we didn't see that either. we don't need to.

knives. he's smearing blood on his face again.

his laughter... i don't think he finds this funny like "haha funny" necessarily, i think he's just losing it.

vash defends the orphanage and knives doesn't even push it. he just moves on. hmm, i'm trying to articulate this... vash's display of power used up more of his life, which knives noticed obviously, and vash is willing to go that far to protect the orphanage... knives still doesn't want vash to die, and... he's laughing out of disbelief, or something like that. i don't know.

vash and livio sharing a meal together is... it's nice. but vash is still clearly very angry. with livio, with razlo, with himself too probably.

i don't know. i'm not angry with livio or razlo at all. they were both victims of chapel same as wolfwood. this is all chapel's fault in my mind, lol.

oh.

we're gonna see this in stampede too, aren't we. wolfwood will die for a third time and we're gonna see vash holding the punisher.

the fact that this volume doesn't even have the goofy author extra... we're just forced to sit with this. man. the book club wasn't kidding, it's so much worse the second time around. the first time i cried a little but i was mostly just taking it all in. the second time i was like actually heaving and sobbing. reading this volume twice within a few days was a BAD IDEA.

AND WE STILL HAVE FOUR VOLUMES LEFT. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO ON AFTER THIS. four entire volumes without wolfwood...

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 8 Part 1

Emotional destruction Vol.2. There is more to come!

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

How… how has Nightow the style of 80s shoujo manga down to a T? I love it.

I didn’t see this at first, BUT KNIVES IS HOLDING A KNIFE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

01: Invasion

Of course, the Golden Gate-like-Bridge needs to be destroyed to show that the attack has begun. While the ark looks cool and all, it doesn’t really looks like something that can stay in the air. (really, Knives? Tell me how you plan to let the people on the ark live after you do the genocide. Self Absorbed bastard. This is your ark, for you alone.)

Yes, take even more agency from him.

Having his whole body weight on one point, the connector must hurt so much right now. I am sure it feels like it gets slowly torn out.

Legato could make a fortune by being a sport instructor. Just make me move! I pay you!

I wanna slap him so badly. Seriously. THANKS TO VASH?! He is running around trying to help them as much as he can!

KNIVES! YOU ARE THE REASON THAT YOUR SISTERS ARE ON THIS PLANET AT ALL! TELL ME AGAIN ABOUT YOUR SIN OF ACCIDENTALLY KILLING THE SISTERS THAT WERE ON THE 802 SHIPS. YOU DID NOT KNOW THAT YOUR FUCKING HAIR TURNS DARK WHEN YOU START TO DECAY! THE FIRST LAST RUN YOU SAW WAS LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO! TELL ME HOW MANY SISTERS YOU HAVE SEEN DIE, AGAIN?! You had 150 years to learn about this! 150 years and you failed to do so. Your sisters and their wellbeing aren’t that important to you, buddy. Don’t use them to give yourself validity. And don’t you dare to use Tesla again!

FUCKING FINALLY! I NEED SOMETHING MORE THAN CAPSLOCK TO MAKE MY RAGE ABOUT KNIVES’ DENIAL KNOWN!

Oh, tsundere Legato time. And Knives does not stop him. Does Knives truly not understand that Legato is starting to act not only on his own but against Knives’ stated interests?

At first I thought this was a moment of peace for Wolfwood that boils down to him finding his determination. But in hindsight, this is him knowing he is starting to get crushed between the rock and the hard place. He is waiting to act, he cannot act, even though most gruesome things are happening all around him and he is part of it. (Insert the: "Kitten, I'll be honest. Daddy is about to kill himself"-meme)

Who else thought about Carl? “That’s what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.” Knives, that kills people!

*snorts* Yeah, because you have had such a presence in the story til now. Tell me again, how lawful the world is. I'll wait. Yeah, at the bar of that nice granny with the guy that was nearly lynched with his truly innocent bestie.

I forgot about that. I forgot that Wolfwood is used to kill in the cities. I made a pained squeaky noise when I saw them. Someone shut Chapel up and hug Wolfwood!

Wolfwood’s past pulls him down. His training and way of life goes so strongly against his morals. And Chapel knows exactly how to use it to hurt Wolfwood.

But Wolfwood has already changed so much during the story. From the start, while he put his own life first, he never killed with any animosity, the didn't torture people. By following Vash’ (pretty selfdestructive) ruling, he found a way of going forward that fits his morals so much more. He cares about life and especially the lives of others. His responsibilities still stand, that’s why he is still able to kill, but this Wolfwood here is very far from the pupil Chapel had true power over.

Can someone shut this bitch up, please?

Chapel is a manipulator. He knows his “pupils” and knows how to put them down. He doesn’t plan to take Wolfwood in again. He just wants to hurt him. He wants revenge for Wolfwood acting out, for Wolfwood deserting the Eye of Michael's teachings. But this is a struggle for power over Wolfwood, too. Livio is a much better pupil in his eyes, since Chapel seemingly erased his character and wants successfully.

The antithesis of the blank ticket. Your past binds you down. You cannot start anew. Just give in and accept your given place in the world. It is Wolfwood's way of thinking, too. No wonder he hurts so much. Chapel’s teachings dug deep into him.

Wolfwood realises how deeply Chapel has dug his claws into Livio. That’s why he tries to force Chapel to make Livio stop and not Livio himself. But he has no power in this situation here. Chapel has the power since he has power over Livio. And, damn, he uses it to hurt Wolfwood in revenge. Wolfwood is desperately looking for a way out, but he cannot find one.

His sisters want him to stop, too. Not that he listens.

Vash is still hateful of himself for attacking Rem. He never stopped. Even working through his anger at Rem... The anger was replaced with selfhatred and ever since then he has been spiraling.

But the thought about people not changing… They talk about humanity, but isn’t it about Knives, too? I highly doubt that Knives can change. Everyone is able to, but not everyone chooses to do so. Knives cannot reflect upon what he has done, because then he himself and humanity wouldn’t be that different. Both twins are so good in seeing things just as black and white. Damn all of humanity or all of humanity is good, instead of what it truly is, grey. 

OF COURSE HE SAID TESLA! This is so much not about Tesla. Poor girl is just a pawn for Knives, like everyone else. He was such a sensitive kid and now he cannot even realise his own true feelings, much less recognise feelings in other people. He is living a delusion.

It makes Knives an interesting villain, though. I like villains that you can somewhat empathise with. Every last one of us can end like him (without the outright genocide). He is a warning and he is not redeemable, however much I feel for him.

Edit: Upon rereading my last paragraph can be so misinterpreted. What I meant with 'without the outright genocide' was not that neither of us can be easily radicalised and be part of a genocide by either inaction, outright ignoring it or even be an active part of it. My country's history is a glowing negative example of it. I literally meant that we cannot be a fucking warship.

Ugh, yes, Vash is completely right. 

But look at you, Vash. You are a bottle under so much pressure, too. You drinking away your pain does not erase it. You know the source, but you never started to deal with it at all. Why does the stuff you preach never reach you yourself?

But Knives turns away from Vash, again and again. Knives cannot open himself up to Vash. Anger and hate are feelings that are so much better than the vulnerable hurt and fear. Seriously, Vash, how long til it is enough?

“Then we will be even.” No, not really. The people who have hurt Knives are gone. There is no balance to be redone. Knives’ “even” means that the scales are completely destroyed and only he remains. Knives pumps out new victims of violence daily, the only words that are spoken are “Hate creates more hate, violence creates more violence.” Knives has been gone up in his crusade since the Great Fall. Everything after that was him actively searching for and creating more and more reasons to justify him causing the Great Fall and more importantly, killing Rem.

02: Silent Ruin

I shall save our imprisoned sisters! By imprisoning them in MY BODY! A much better idea! Knives does not care about them. Everyone has to agree with him. There is no group, there is no peace, there is only Knives. And Knives can only stop if only Knives remains. If he successfully erases humanity, then he will turn on his sisters, he will turn (more) on Vash. 

I have to agree with one thing from Chapel. He taught Wolfwood really better than to let someone get away… Someone like Chapel… Just saying.

Wolfwood tries his best to protect his home. It is never enough, the odds are so against him. How must that feel? That you give your all, you put yourself between something that evil and children and it is not enough. Remembering Wolfwood’s second nightmare, he killed Chapel to protect the orphanage from Chapel. Maybe Wolfwood found out about the continued usage by Chapel just then.

“So many uses for the good-natured.” I don’t think Wolfwood gets that Chapel means him, too. Wolfwood has been used and abused by him. He is a victim. And he cannot see it. He only sees the things he has done, not that he literally had no choice there. And he lets all the sins fall back to him, making him completely monstrous in his own eyes.

Chapel is so sure that his grip on Livio is complete and I so hope that Wolfwood can prove him wrong. 

There is something to be said about the arm sticking up into the air like the ship from the Great Fall. Even the angle is the same. This is something like the Second Fall. 

Just a reminder that Wolfwood is on the ship, unable to do anything to stop this, waiting and hoping for something to happen so he can act. And it is eating him alive. He is isolated and completely alone. If he rebels now, his life would be not only forfeited, but he would also be unable to help when… if… the time comes. He has to kill in Knives’ name while he waits all his morals and pain aside. The deaths would happen anyway. But that doesn’t change Wolfwood from hating himself for doing so. Vash is at least actively fighting Legato, Wolfwood suffers a different kind of torture. And I am not gonna lie, I'd prefer to be in Vash' position instead of Wolfwood's.

So, like after the Great Fall. How many people died after the initial crash due to hunger, infighting and exposure? Has the population since then grown? Or is it still stagnating?

INSURANCE WOMEN! AHHHHHHHH!

03: Counterattack!!!

I just love Meryl and Milly as intelligence, checking out the situation in the different cities and bringing the info to the people who are able to do something.

I love the proactiveness, I love their care, I love their bravery.

Meryl looks so different. She has lost her spunk, her spark. She looks so much more downtrodden and depressed. Softer and hurt, really.

I love our brat Brad. Like Meryl and Milly, he is a good person who tries to help the way he can. He couldn’t go out, til now, because his expertise was needed, but he is ready to go at the frontlines.

It looks like none of them know what happened to Vash. The last people of the group who have seen him are Meryl and Milly and that was when he was driven out of the city.

FINALLY SHE TELLS SOMEONE! 

And I didn’t get that Meryl knows everything… She saw more than Hoppered, but it looked like everything since Vash was adulty, but maybe Nightow retconned that one.

I have complicated feelings about this. Meryl wanted to get to know Vash and know of his enigmatic past. But narratively, Vash and she didn’t really do anything to get there. It was an accident. Vash didn’t need to change and open up to share this. And… that is an ongoing flaw of him, a flaw that has already cost him so much and we don’t see it changing. Vash not only gets her total empathy without opening up, he now gets it from all of Home (or at least the command). That said, I like that we see it affecting Meryl. She is traumatised, rightfully so. She is working through it either completely alone or only with Milly. For all the empathy Vash deserves for his life, he doesn’t really earn it by connecting to others. Others connect in his stead for him. While Meryl suffers for it alone, Vash profits from it. This is an ongoing pattern, not only with Meryl. With Wolfwood, too. How often did Wolfwood persist and run after Vash to keep on talking, while Vash avoided? And it irks me more and more, the further the volumes go. Vash is a self made martyr, but it is the people that care about him that pay most of the price. Vash needs an Oh-Moment, but I don’t trust that even that would be enough. 

Oh. Vash fought Knives before! Until now it looked like July was his first “real” fight with Knives, but he had altercations before. I would love to know more about those, because from what we saw in July and Jeneora Rock, Vash had so much trouble confronting Knives. Vash’ conflict avoidance, especially with Knives, is such a big part of him. He actively goes against Wolfwood’s advice to check out the erased towns more than once. We know that Vash has a real inner conflict going on about Knives, that he says he wants to kill him but his actions say otherwise. Did no one zoom in on that in the past? Or wasn’t it there then?

Young Luida!

Is he fighting on his own? Maybe, maybe not. But I love that the humans are now empowered enough to go and help Vash and don’t leave it to him. It doesn’t look like they wanted to in the past, either, but Vash left them no choice. Now Vash needs them, even if they don’t know how much.

No, Luida! Don’t join the selfhate club! What counts is your actions and not your thoughts. And you are the least of a coward. You lead a fucking company. Same for you, Meryl! You stood by Vash’ side. Yes, you didn’t completely understand the danger you were in, but may I remind you of Keele? Please don’t let yourself get pulled down by those martyrs. You do enough and are strong enough.

And next to everyone is like that. People don’t want conflict, they don’t want to risk being hurt or worse killed. They don’t want their loved ones to die. So if someone else is able to bear all the responsibility and pain, they feel relief. But that often leads to people like Vash and even more like Wolfwood. People who have to bear the gross alone. But what counts is action. And Meryl is going out into a warzone, trying to help and get info, Luida is leading a resistance.

Being a leader is such a difficult position. On the one hand you are safe from the frontlines, but everyone's life is on your shoulders. Your mistakes add up and your victories are easily forgotten. It is so easy to see leaders as highpaid CEOs that cash in while the workers suffer. Luida is not one of those and I hope she does not stick to that fallacy.

The plants share their memory. Vash has been shown to connect to his sisters via his mind, why wouldn’t his sisters be unable to do it, too? And this is a sign, this is a cry for Knives to stop. His sisters do not want this. They could show him hurtful things, but instead they show him humans appreciating them. What is important for me in that scene is that it is not only a child asking questions, it is a mother teaching the child ageappropriately about the plants, showing her own gratitude to the plant in question and it then gets reflected in the husband, too. The plants care for humans, they want to help. (Little siderant about angels. Angels are so much like machines. They exist for their godgiven purpose and are satisfied with this. They do not wish for more. Dependent plants seem more and more like angels, especially with Nightow saying they see humanity as their god. Independent plants, like humans, have no ingrained purpose and maybe part of the twin’s struggle comes from this. They don’t know their purpose, but they feel like they need one. Nice reflection of the modern human.)

Knives is visibly upset by his sister’s memory. Of course, since it goes against what he preaches. It shakes his resolve. Vash seems shaken, too. I cannot really put his expression there. Well, he is most likely in pain and enduring Legato. But beyond that… who knows.

I am not sure how to interpret these panels. Especially with it ending on Wolfwood smoking, what we have seen before is him enduring and waiting, too. Could it be that the dream of the plants is on par with Vash and Wolfwood, with them enduring and waiting for their time to act to give balance back to humanity and plants? Or is it a foreshadowing that those two will help the plants achieve this balance?

COUNTERATTACK! THE TIME OF WAITING IS OVER! Yes, Knives… you are so completely rational, standing at the front of your battleship, laughing maniacally.

Plant memories. Good ones. Even the researcher with the cross that got halved by Knives is part of it. His sisters see the good in humans, how they try and they appreciate it. Moreso, they actively use these memories on Knives to stop him, to make him listen.

Even here. Brad doesn’t want to attack the innocent plants. But Knives uses them as shield. Brad has to do this to get through to Knives, to have any hope of success. And again, a struggle that is caused by Knives himself that in the end hurts mainly his sisters, while he is unaffected.

And this is what the regular panels of Wolfwood smoking boiled down to. He waited for a time to act. 

It looks creepy and quiet, like a predator inching in on his prey, looming over it in a real display of power difference. An omen of death and judgement. But Wolfwood also looks like a broken man, a dead man walking at the same time. Like I said, Wolfwood has been through his own torture for seven months and I truly believe that it has left massive scars in him.

[weirdcat1213]

volume 13 oh fuck oh shit oh fuck lets go

chap 1:

-that panel with vash yelling and shooting at the sky its just...hes so done man, hes so tired

-legato dont

-fucking hell what did i just say

-damn, kinda feel bad for legato. cant he really have something knives? really?

-im sorry, like what legato is saying is really interesting but...is he mopping the floor with vash while thinking of his journey?

-"it would be shameful to not risk your life" PROJECTING MUCH???

-omg the 1st time i saw that one panel where hes white i fucking gasped so hard. i thought my baby was dead CUZ LOOK AT HIM

-like yo nightow that shit gives me nightmares to this day

-STOP LEGATO STOP ITTTT, NOT THE FLASHBACK

-the fact that legato ISNT WRONG about vash just ruins my fucking day. my week. my life

-OH THANK GOD I FINALLY GET TO FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT THING

-yknow ik we have said legato has never been his own person but in this moment (when he explains to vash the box) hes taking a decision for himself for once. he didnt have to give vash that advantage but he wants to prove his loyalty to knives, even when knives clearly said "i could not give less if a fuck." messed up choice, but his choice nonetheless

-im just gonna point out that vash doesnt think of wolfwood when he thinks of the gun ho guns and move on :)

chap 2:

-nightow honey IDK WHOS SAYING THAT

-oh ok thanks

-RIGHT IN THE FACE VASH CMON >:0

-oh honey

-legato is being a dick but putting the gun in your mouth? metal

-idk whats happening rn

-VASH NO HES GETTING HIS russian doll?

-oh DAMN ITS LIVIO TIMEEEEEE

-ok im gonna be honest...i dont remember if livio gets out of this one so when elendira says hell end up crucified....hmmm...pls no

-shes so sarcastic lmao

-also i kinda like livio having a lil bit of pride on his abilities, maybe cuz hes not like elendira being like "im powerful as fuck and you cant stop me."

-LIVIOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :D

-OH SHIT OH FUCK LETS GO THEYRE ABOUT TO LAND

chap 3:

-oh shit no warning? damn that IS gonna be rough

-legato dont-

-ah fuck, i cant believe youve done this

-yeah be paranoid bitch >:3

-"which one of us is best" personally i think vash but thats my bad, im a vash girlie <3

-oh legato...i sadly would say no. youre human therefore you cant live, according to him...anyway...

-LIVIO TIMEEEEEEE :D

-"omg elendira youre so rude >:[" "BITCH WE'RE IN A FIGHT TO THE DEATH" xd

-"it just lifts my spirits ya see" :cccc livioooooooooo

-its not like i hated him before but im definitely enjoying his character way more now

chap 4:

-lets fucking go livio

-oh right.....oh no

-me: nightow what exactly is elendira-

nightow: shhh dont worry about it

-oh...oh thats hot actually

-legato pls leave my man aloneeeeeeeee

-omg theyre hereeeeeeeeeeeee

-"hes a very special person" he sure is <3

-something about vash hiding in the fog...hmmm idk it makes me sad

-oh, there he is

-fuck team humanity is getting their asses kicked

-LIVIO NO

-and...there he comes

-ah shittttttttt

chap 5:

-oh damn

-well damn there he goes

-razlo gets it >:3

-oh damn those eyes

-oh shit oh fuck oh shit (shes right tho)

-me: ok nightow now i really want to know what elendira is-

nightow with a gun: i said dont worry about it :)

-oh yes queen you fucking go ily sm

-oh shit oh ok so he still has his head, right

-damn you could say thats was the...final nail...to the coffin....*ba dum tsss*

chap 6:

-good to see razlo experiencing the human emotion called fear, get humbled

-interesting that skill ISNT enough. like razlo was cocky cuz yeah hes powerful af not because he had won many fights before. so if skill isnt enough then what is

-NOT THE WOLFWOOD FLASHBACK

-YESSSS

-something something my man refuses to be crucified, something something the power of change

-OH HES BACK HI :3

-oh i love these kinds of combos sm (im not saying i think thats how happens irl, im just saying i enjoy it in fiction)

-LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

-aw :c

-YEAHHHHHH LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO >:D

-OOF OK THAT WAS GOOD SHIT

-you say that but youre bleeding queen

-razlo i kinda hate you cuz you killed him but no you cant leave now

-oh shit oh fuck no

chap 7:

-:c

-razlo and his methods were fucked, yes but its true that in the end it was to defend livio. in a world like that only razlo had his back

-..... :c

-geesus nightow, like thats junji ito kind of shit (imo)

-did it?????

-geesus christ thats a weapon

-.....im not really sure what just happened

-so is livio dead????

-NOPE HES HERE LETS GO YO

-oh shit i didnt...notice that....

-"and to him" STOP IT STOP IT

-wait-

-my queen no :c rip :c you were gorgeous

chap 8:

-NO GIRLY NOOOOOOOO :C

-oh god livio

-oh shit he knowssss

-bro pls leave my man alone, hes so tired

-pls dont mention his powers can act as a shield cuz that reminds me of the last time he did that :c

-omg its livio the teenager

-hes ok its fine

-"psst...pssst....can you stfu" XDDD

-GEESUS BRO OK. YOU WANT TO GET CUT IN HALF THAT BADLY HUH

-the chaos :c the destruction :c the russian doll :c

-LEGATO NO

-HOW

-ALSO I THINK HERE IS WHEN VASH'S COAT TURNS BLACK SOMEHOW RIGHT????? i was never sure

-stop iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

chap 9:

-damn legato, dont look cool while youre trying to kill my son

-legato stoooooooooooop

-STOP IT VASH NO PLS, ALSO THE WAY NIGHTOW DREW THAT FLASHBACK???? LEAVE ME ALONE OLD MAN???

-funny enough until this point legato hasnt said anything about "breaking his spirit" so vash is just really feeling the choice coming at him, quickly, maybe too quickly

-wait whats happening?

-oh...oh :c (ALSO ORANGE IF YOU INCLUDE THAT IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU. LIKE IT WOULD MAKE SENSE CUZ VASH GOES AROUND HEALING PLANTS BUT STILL. SHUT UP ORANGE)

-"he might be the key for communication" yeah...wouldnt that be nice

-"and you knives, i will never forgive you" get in line

-you just cant ask "what kind of person vash is" cuz you either get a 5 hour lecture or 2 hours of ugly crying

-"i believe in how he chose to live his life" while vash is in the same shape as wet paper

trimax meryl "i believe in how he chose to live his life"

🤝 98 wolfwood "i see, so thats how you live. thats how you choose to live"

the sadddest and maybe kinda stupid decision ever, but in the end imagine being able to choose that after so much trauma. imagine not giving yourself to hate and fear

-oh shit :0 he shot the little box

-go go go GO GO GO

-AH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

NEXT ONE IS THE LAST ONE HOLY CRAP

[kindaoptimisticsquirrel]

Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol9 Par2

Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2

Trimax: Vol01 Part 1 Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1 Vol02 Part 2 | Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05 | Vol06 | Vol07 | Vol08 Part1 | Vol08 Part2 | Vol09 Part1 | Vol09 Part2

And next part!

Chapter 5:

I assume this is a time where Wolfwood really really didn't want to pull the trigger. Because as much as Livio has changed, he still once was a part of his family.

Wolfwood, spying Chapel with the eyes of a hunter. (I like to say "hunter" instead of "killer" as a hunter, much like a wolf, can also be someone who only kills to protect? Maybe? I'm trying to make sense but it's late and I'm mostly spilling thoughts that come to my mind as I read these pages again)

Looks like this show of supreme fighting instinct is smth Chapel is proud of. Ugh, Wolfwood is no longer a part of you! You have no right to be proud of what he does or what he has become!

No super cure without some nasty side effects. Or a price, the price being that they itselves take a toll on the body.

Oh the way the light is set, the composition, this is a very beautiful panel! Hmm I like when we get tone gradiant from dark to light!

Razlo!!! Teheee. Also what the hell is the deal with that third armm?? I want to know the logistics, how is it connected to the body? Can it rotate 360°?

Chapter 6:

Farewell Nicholas my ass that man is not done yet and you still have to pay for what you did to him, old man.

Oh I think I got it just now that they sacrificed one of the three dudes in order to distract Wolfwood with his blood and flesh. Best employee of the month, but at what price!

A Wolfwood in the wild will spread all its limbs far apart to appear more big and threatening.

First of all: oh dear oh dear oh dear. Second: I dore how Nightow draws so dynamic, like in these moments with quick movement, he draws the limbs without too much care for the joints. Stressing the speed and direction of movement by having the limbs flail behind and also kinda angling them like the speedlines. AND making it more dynamic by adding perspective, cause the hands are bigger and just a bit in the foreground!

D'awwwww he looks like a happy little vampire!

No stop don't give me Wolfwood thoughs, they will make me sad :((

Vash, in Wolfwood's mind: standing upright and proud and a smile on his face. Me, the reader: *bawling internally*

oh oh oh in that moment he was saying to Vash what Chapel once taught him!

It is a crime that I'm reading these pages while stopping in between to comment so I'll read these first and comment afterwards. The impact of Wolfwood's thoughts is so so strong. Let me just...post the rest of the chapter in one go.

You really, really need to read the last chapters of vol9 in one go and directly start with vol10 to get the best feeling and flow of storytelling. Complete quietness around you or some music playing, but something that makes you focus only on these words and the emotions and ....everything.

And oh my god oh my I just tried to get behind the meaning of the last sentence and I might have found something. Please look at the lyrics for "Time" by Pink Floyd. The last verse especially but also, the whole song fits??? I can no longer listen to this the same way:

"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today And then one day you find ten years have got behind you No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking Racing around to come up behind you again The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way The time is gone, the song is over Thought I'd something more to say

Home Home again I like to be here When I can

When I come home Cold and tired It's good to warm my bones Beside the fire

Far away Across the field Tolling on the iron bell Calls the faithful to their knees To hear the softly spoken magic spell"

Also what a beautiful end note to end this review with.

[deludedfantasy]

Trimax Vol 9 Ch 4-6

Honest to god, I don't think I'm going to survive next week considering what the last half of this volume did to me, especially the last chapter. I'm an emotional pile of goo right now. But here are some thoughts, and more reasons Nicholas D. Wolfwood makes me wanna cry.

Ch 4

The chapter with death in the title is number 4 again…stop with the symbolism Nightow, I can’t take it.

The fact that Livio doesn’t even need the vials to regenerate fucks me up for one very specific reason: what did they do to him to make him that way? I mean, what barbaric fucked up shit did they do to a little kid to put him into that body and turn him into a literally unkillable man? What they did to Wolfwood is horrific, but what they must have done to Livio is worse. 

There’s something about the way Nightow draws Wolfwood when he’s spitting blood and covered in it that makes it at once horrifying but so hard to look away from. It’s just so dynamic.

Wolfwood just keeps getting hit! He’s barely keeping up with Livio. He had the advantage of surprise earlier when he first shot Livio, but not anymore. Also, Livio is fighting to kill, unlike Wolfwood. He doesn’t have to be careful or pull his punches. 

But Wolfwood isn’t stopping, despite the frankly ridiculous amount of bullets he’s been hit with. This is the first time we’ve seen him be so determined to do something. He’s not giving up, not for anything, and there’s no doubt in his mind about what he’s doing.

I suddenly can’t help comparing this to the first time we saw Wolfwood in a fight, back when he was battling Ninelives. He was absolutely feral and unhinged during that fight and dealing with so much internal doubt about what he was doing. But now…when he has a clear mission, Wolfwood is just as cold and focused with purpose as Vash. 

I mean, it’s certainly still pretty reckless with the way he fired that rocket when they were so close together but there’s a lot more intentionality to it is what I’m getting at. 

Oh my god, the way he embraces Livio when he shoots him. This is his only way of showing love and mercy right now. He’s pinning him in place for the shot, but also begging for him to live through it. So much love in such an act of violence. 

Ch 5

YEAH GET FUCKED CHAPEL. WOLFWOOD IS A SMART FIGHTER!!! He doesn’t just rely on brute strength. He’s calculating and quick on his feet and he didn’t get any of that from you!!!!

Chapel gave that little boy a weapon that is bigger than him, a literal cross to bear. I also might be mushing different canons but it fucks me up that it’s specifically the gun that is called Punisher. So when Wolfwood is called Punisher or Nicholas the Punisher, he is literally being called a weapon and a tool, having his agency taken away from him. When he is Punisher, he is a weapon of the Eye of Michael, theirs to wield as they see fit. At times, he forgets he was ever a boy named Nicholas. 

Chapel truly made his own enemy by taking on Wolfwood as his disciple. One way or another, there would’ve come a day where Wolfwood’s better nature would win out over Chapel’s indoctrination. It’s just that with the way this world works, it happened this way.

Oh, those creepy dudes with the crosses on their backs who’ve been watching this whole thing are back and now they’re coming for Wolfwood. But not on Chapel’s orders?

Livio is somehow up again except the body language is so different. It’s much more open and bombastic, as opposed to the reserved, resigned way Livio carries himself. Big props to Nightow for how he portrays the differences between Livio and Razlo because it makes this whole section so chilling. 

I love how immediately Wolfwood sees that it’s not his brother. It might be the same body, but it doesn’t move the way he knows him too. Despite how long they’ve been apart, Wolfwood still knows him so well. 

Absolutely insane how he has a third arm hidden under that jacket so that he can use three massive Punishers. It’s cool but also scary as fuck. Peak character design right here. 

Ch 6

Ok, I don’t know a whole lot about DID, but the way the Eye’s doctors describe it seems pretty accurate from what I’ve read about it. Which like, big props to Nightow because when this was being written, I’m not sure there were a lot of positive or correct portrayals of it out there so the man did his research. 

Also, it really puts that earlier scene where Livio is crying about how he misses his parents into a new perspective. He was severely, severely abused by them and he still misses them. Is it because he doesn’t remember because Razlo always took over in those moments? Or is it more complicated than that? It also seems like Razlo killed his parents and Livio probably doesn’t remember that. 

But now it also makes sense why Razlo is the way he is. All he’s ever experienced is the abuse. He’s never been around for the good moments, the times when people showed Livio kindness, so it makes sense his philosophy would revolve around brutality and nihilism. If people are gonna hurt you anyway, why not hit back as hard as you can? Who does being good even matter if everyone you encounter is evil?

I’m gonna keep harping on this, but I love the way Nightow shows the separation between Livio and Razlo. When it’s Livio, the right side of his face is exposed, but the left is covered by a skull mask. It’s like a representation of his other half, the killer and the death omen. When Razlo is in charge, the mask is gone and the left eye is wild and wide open, while the right is obscured by his hair, like Livio is hiding behind it, refusing to acknowledge what’s happening. It’s the scared little kid hiding behind his dark shadow again. 

Wolfwood is having a very bad time right now and things aren’t looking good, at all. Livio was a good fighter, but Wolfwood could outsmart him. Razlo is literally so strong, so fast, and so powerful, that Wolfwood can’t keep up. He’s just being thrown around like a rag doll. 

“Even in a fight to the death, you still gave thought to your opponent.” Me, sobbing on the ground: WOLFWOOD STILL CARES. HE CARES SO MUCH. HE LEARNED FROM VASH AND HE DOESN’T WANNA KILL HIS BROTHER, EVEN THOUGH RAZLO IS ALSO A PART OF HIM. 

Somehow, someway, Wolfwood sees a path to redemption for Livio. He isn’t going to give up on him again. He failed him once as a child. Now, he’s older and he won’t let that happen again. That’s why he won’t kill him.

Cue incomprehensible sobbing noises. Wolfwood himself once believed he couldn’t hold the ideals of an immortal, that human life was just misery and killing, because that’s the way it had to be. And despite how much Vash scared him at times, Wolfwood couldn’t help seeing something beautiful in his ideals. Some small kernel of hope, to be more than a demon or a devil. 

Wolfwood gives himself this moment to be overcome by the beauty of Vash and everything he believes in, and everything he now believes in himself. It’s such a pure expression of love and devotion. Like, look at him, he’s on his knees. 

What Vash believes in isn’t easy, but that’s the point. Doing the good thing is hard. Sacrificing to do the good thing is hard. But also, Wolfwood realizes that sometimes, to do the good thing, to do the hard thing, without killing in the process, you have to put yourself on the line.

Wolfwood has always feared death. Above all, he wanted to live. Vash taught him that he has a choice about who he wants to be, yes. But the reckless way Vash has conducted himself has also taught him giving up his life is worth it for what he believes in.

It’s heart-wrenching, because this is the moment that Wolfwood truly and fully embraces Vash’s ideals and becomes the person he wants to be. But it’s also the moment he decides that he’s going to die for this. He’s going to die to save his home, and the last lines of this chapter, white against a white background really seal in his decision. 

Any other time he’d been on the verge of death, he’d probably heard that iron bell tolling. I imagine it was a funeral bell, telling him that his end is near. He knows he should hear it now, but he doesn’t. Because the threat of his impending death doesn’t matter anymore. It doesn’t scare him. He will die, and he’s okay with that. 

Okay, I’m gonna go curl up in a ball and cry now. I’m not gonna survive reading volume 10 next week. 

[hellsingmongrel]

Hey, no worries! :V Life gets busy, it's cool!

I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! And yeah, the "He's just a little guy!" energy never fully goes away, he's just always perpetually our little feral baby gremlin man, being terrifying one moment, then the tension breaking with a goofy little moment, and ending with him doing or saying something that shows that even though he's having to he a hardass, he's still just a sweet, kindhearted idiot babyboy. ☺️ Nightow is REALLY GOOD at taking the tense moments and breaking your heart into a million pieces, and then giving you something funny and sweet to make you laugh and remind you that it's not all doom and gloom. He can literally bounce your emotions back and forth like a ping pong ball, the emotional whiplash is DELIGHTFUL in how he uses it, honestly!

Honestly, the action in the manga can ABSOLUTELY be hard to follow sometimes! It does get a bit easier, but it's one of those that becomes clearer the more you reread it. I'm still going back and looking at things and having little moments of "Ohhhhh! This thing here is doing that!" And also it's hilarious to see the times there'll be a character doing something in the foreground, but another character is doing something HILARIOUS in the background, and you may not even catch it at first. One of my favorite run on jokes is Vash doing or saying something, or someone doing or saying something at him, and he's just SO IRRITATED, but if you look behind him, Wolfwood is LOSING HIS SHIT! Just cracking right the Hell up! And Vash can TELL he's doing it, he tries to turn and glare at him once like "Are you LAUGHING at me?!?" But when he does, Nick is just stoic and calm and completely nonchalant. 😆 So yeah, don't worry if the action doesn't make too much sense, especially in the beginning. Nightow got better at showing the action as time went on, and on top of that the art from Trigun to Trigun Maximum made a massive jump in quality, too, so you're also gonna have some just BEAUTIFUL pages. Vash's big, fluttery god-damn eyelashes are a TREASURE!

Also, oh man, I would recommend doing the free crunchyroll trial JUST so you could watch the dubs and then cancel it if you couldn't keep paying for it! There is a reason Johnny's voice work for Vash is so quintessential! And CR has both the new series, the original, AND it's got badlands rumble, I think, too! And all of them have Johnny doing Vash's voice in the English stuff, it's the literal best thing ever! Not saying the Japanese subbed version is bad, it's not, it's just that Johnny will always be Vash to so many people, we can't NOT recommend the dubs highly enough! But back to what you were saying, holy shit yeah, having to watch ep 11 because of subs made it SO MUCH WORSE! When I finally watched the dub later, I was able to cover my face for the part that really upset me earlier and could tell when it was safe to come out of my hoodie again because of the sound. HEARING Vash struggling and...the knives, and the sound of his voice hiccuping when he got stabbed, JFKAHFKR It was bad enough, I couldn't deal with seeing it at the same time. It really does make you feel sick, huh? If I'd been in Meryl's place, I very possibly would have been actually physically ill, having to see it! 8'<

I will not confirm nor deny Nai being alive in later parts, though he IS pretty important to the story, so make of that what you will. 😆 But yeah, honestly, in the manga it comes down to Vash just being better at reading when it's worth it to try and talk someone down, or when he knows he has to just put them out of commission to stop the violence. There are times when he still tries to talk people down, even while he's running in guns blazing, but often he doesn't really get much chance to do it. And yeah, in later parts, Vash reaches a point where he almost just seems to stop thinking and let instinct take over. He's almost "lights are on but nobody's home," and he's driven to points a couple of times where he's literally catatonic, but screaming and acting on pure protective instinct. He's such a sweet, kind soul, but there's a part of him that he keeps hidden that's just pure instinct, pure injured-cornered-animal-protecting-its-babies. It's so sad, so terrifying, but Nightow also makes it weirdly beautiful, too?

Though the time it's REALLY scary is when he's in full ass fluffy predator animal mode, but CONSCIOUS. like. It's SO CREEPY, it's still Vash underneath the feathers, but it's just UNHINGED and weirdly calm and menacing and like...you can imagine him being like a massive, twitchy, disjointed, SENTIENT bird of prey that's protecting its mate, bending his body at weird angles to shield someone from bullets while twisting his head around to glare at them attackers over his shoulder. It's actual horror-movie nightmare fuel imagery, and the entire fandom pretty much agrees that it's fucking AMAZING and we're all both terrified AND turned on by it. 😆😆😆 Even those of us who are ACE. So really, SERIOUSLY, episode 12 Vash was intense, but he was nowhere near as Eldritch Horror as he can be, and I am SO GOD-DAMNED EXCITED to see them tackle it in the upcoming seasons!

At the very least, he seems to be aware enough most of the time that the feathers themselves don't cause him any distress,except for the first time they do something he never knew he could do, at which point, he just STARES. WHILE HIS BODY IS DOING THIS THING. Doesn't move, just stares, until the moment passes and he has to act again. But yeah, people react poorly to it, they're scared of him, and it makes what, if he was healthy enough mentally and had a calm enough life that he could have learned to do it naturally, would probably be a really beautiful part of him seem monstrous and terrifying and deadly, and people panic and lash out. Which, obviously, does not make him views on himself any better, by any stretch of the imagination. He deserves people who would pet his feathers and talk softly to him until he's settled and calmed and happy, not what he gets, and it's sad. q_q

Honestly, he DOES go through so much more trauma in the manga, it gets SO PAINFUL, but you'll love him even more when you're done with it. And Stampede honestly matches the tone of the manga so well, I suspect that they're going to carry those severely traumatizing things into the series, so you're just preparing yourself for when we get to see it in action! XD I definitely suspect that next season, Vash is going to be a lot harder, less timid, he's going to have realized he has to stop being so soft.

Hey besties I have a question

Do I read the manga or watch the anime of trigun first? I wanted to read the manga first but the only way I know to access it is through the trigun manga overhaul account here on tumblr but i don’t like downloading stuff from random people on the internet

So if you say manga first, is that tumblr account a good and safe way to access it online or is there a better place?