#SSIS Tutorial | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

written-in-flowers · 21 days ago

Text

Lovesick: Chan x Male!Reader Pt. 2

Pairing: Bang Chan x Male!Reader | Side pairings: Minho x Chan, Minho x Male!Reader (unrequited)

Word Count: 11k

Genre: Horror, Angst, Smut | AU: Yandere!au, Videogame!AU, Highschool!AU

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Summary: After being sucked into the dating simulator "Lovesick", Park YN has to defeat five rivals to reach his goal. However, he soon learns his rivals aren't the only thing he must contend with for Chan's love.

Tags: Graphic depictions of violence, Main Character Death, dark fic, dead dove: do not eat, yandere behaviors, yandere!reader, stalking, murder/violence, blood and violence, toxic relationships, mentions of murder, unrequited love, mentions of domestic violence, school massacre/genocide, implied teacher/student relationship, homophobic parents, mentions of bullying/trauma, obsession, possessiveness, manipulation, high school setting, anal sex, anal fingering, edging, eventual smut, pool sex, locker room sex, blowjobs, choking.

A/N: PLEASE READ TAGS BEFORE READING! I'm not responsible for any feelings you end up having because you ignored this warning and the ones above.

Tutorial < | > Han Jisung: Tuesday

****

Han Jisung: Monday

You woke up a second later in the sun lit bedroom. You hoped it'd all been a dream, but you were sadly mistaken. The phone turned itself on again with a message.

"You're meeting your first rival today," Bott said. "Get ready."

Yesterday's exchange must still bother them. You put the phone aside and dressed for school. You wondered who the first rival might be. Games like this typically spun through the same archetypes: the shy one, the bubbly one, the "dark" one, the spunky athlete, the tsundere, or a seductive type. You needed to be ready for whichever you faced today. Putting on your school bag, you mentally kicked yourself for not researching the characters in the control room. You would've removed them completely had it not interfered with the whole game. Apparently, changing objectives was the only thing you couldn't access no matter how many angles you tried.

When you arrived at school, another stiff text message alerted your phone.

"Chan is meeting him in the garden."

The club garden was where you would go. Being a club member, you could freely walk in and out of the garden area. Students acknowledged you when you passed by them. They smiled and said your name. You already saw many benefits to this.

“Sunghoon-hyung!” a high voice said from behind you.

You turned to see a skinny dark haired boy coming your way. Thin eyes crinkled in a wide smile, friendly and cheerful. You noticed he wore an apron around his waist and held a tray of kimbap rolls. He stopped in front of you, holding out the tray.

“We made kimbap in the Cooking Club today!” he said. “Want one? It's not good to start the day on an empty stomach.”

“Sure, thanks!” You took one of the seaweed wrapped rolls and bit into it, tasting the rice, salmon and vegetables inside. “I'm sorry, I don't remember your name?”

“Yang Jeongin, Freshman,” he answered with a bow. “What do you think?”

“It's great, thank you, Jeongin-ssi.”

“What about the sauce? I made it myself!”

You glanced down to see he'd topped the kimbap with spicy mayo, a bit uncommon. Each roll had a different letter, and when you put them together, you froze.

“B. E. C. A. R. E. F. U. L”

You and Jeongin exchanged a glance, and you felt a pang of fear. Has this NPC become aware somehow? That thought scared you. Jeongin did not show signs of malice, but caution.

“Yeah, it's nice handiwork,” you said, taking another bite. “Good job.”

Jeongin suddenly broke out into another winning smile. “Thank you, hyung. If you get hungry or curious about our club, you know where our clubroom is.”

He then walked away without another word. Rather than make note of it outloud, you addressed the phone casually.

"See how much easier it is like this? Everyone likes me. Everyone is my friend. It boosts my reputation and will make it easier for me to ask for favors. It could even help me get out of trouble with teachers."

“You were supposed to do that through special tasks. It was a side quest of the game."

"I don't have time for side stuff. The time I'm spending running around doing random tasks for people, I could be doing them for Chan instead. You made this game to be about winning my 'senpai'," he let the word drip with distaste, "And that's what I should be focusing on."

"I've never had a player like you before."

"Thanks."

You tucked the phone back into your pocket as you reached the garden entrance. The garden came with a shed for supplies and equipment, beds of different flowers and vegetables, and an empty spot where club members could grow their own plants. You noted the one untouched plot. A burial site for another disposal, no doubt. You looked around the flowers and trees to see everyone walking about or sitting and talking. You only cared about finding one person.

Chan sat by a bed of pink and white flowers, his backpack next to him and focused on his phone. Your heart fluttered seeing him there. You started towards him, already thinking about what you could talk about. With all the limitations out of the way, you would have no problem starting introductions.

“Hey, Channie-hyung!”

Someone said it before you could. You stood by the flower beds as another boy approached Chan. Jisung reminded him of a cute next-door-neighbor whose cheeks puffed when he smiled and always appeared cheerful. It made you sick. Your happiness immediately turned bitter seeing Chan’s eyebrows lift at the younger student. He put his phone in his pocket and stood up to meet him. A true rival, indeed. Their friendship and closeness was easily spotted in the way they spoke to one another. The other boy held a box wrapped in cloth, and smiled sweetly at Chan. Chan might not have noticed, but you saw the special twinkle in your rival's eyes. Casually walking towards the shed next to them, you stepped inside and pressed yourself just within the doorframe. Their conversation flowed freely from where they stood towards you.

“Hyung,” the other boy said, “I’m sorry if I’m bothering you-”

“-No worries,” Chan replied, “You weren’t. What’s up? How’s your mom?”

“She’s doing great! The physical therapy is really helping her move around better, and she doesn’t need her walker as much as she used to. The herbal tea you recommended really helps with her anxiety too, so she sleeps easier at night.”

“That’s great. I’m happy to hear that!”

You sighed softly. He was such a caring person; so thoughtful and willing to help others. You shook the thought from his head. You cannot let Sunghoon’s desires feed into your own personality. You had a mission to focus on.

“Listen, I wanted to thank you for what you did for us,” you heard the shyness coming through in Jisung’s voice. “You didn’t have to and I’m very appreciative that you did.”

“You’re my friend, Jisung-ah,” Chan reassured him. “You were so upset and I wanted to help you.”

“And I’m happy you did, so I made you this,” you peeked around to see Jisung give Chan the lunch box, “It’s not much, but I thought you might enjoy a homemade lunch today instead of the cafeteria food.”

Chan’s smile made knots in your stomach. It was so warm and genuine. You kicked yourself for not bringing Chan something to eat. He must be starving when he gets to school. You’d make him something one day; you’d show him what a good boyfriend and future husband you’d be for him.

No, that wasn’t you; Sunghoon’s coding must still be lingering in you somewhere. You thought you’d wiped all the coding out, but you must be wrong. Chan took the cloth bag and nodded at Jisung.

“Oh, thank you,” he said bashfully, “I’m sure it’s going to taste amazing. You are in the cooking club, after all.”

“We can meet back here after school and you can tell me if you liked it.” You heard the hope in Jisung’s voice.

“Sure,” Chan said. “I’ll go put it on my desk so I don’t accidentally leave it here.”

“Okay! See you later, hyung!”

“Later!”

The two parted ways. Jisung watched Chan leave, his shoulders tensing and a soft squeal coming from him. He must’ve thought Chan might reject his offer. You waited until they’d both left to finally step out from the shed. Your next objective was obvious: sabotage the lunch box. It pained you to think of purposefully making Chan sick, but if it casted a negative light on Jisung, then you’d have to do it. Where would you find poison? Nothing lethal, of course, but enough to make Chan ill for a while. The infirmary was an obvious choice as you left the school gardens. That familiar sensation of anticipation came back while you headed towards the infirmary room. You still carried the lockpick from yesterday, so you’d have no problem breaking into the medicine cabinet.

The infirmary was empty except for the school nurse, a slender woman in a uniform far too short and tight for a normal nurse. She faced the window while she restocked her medical supplies, which happened to be right next to the cabinet. You thought of creating some kind of distraction, but what? You couldn’t fake an injury or sickness because then she’ll likely keep you there. It needed to be something quick and simple; you only had a small window of opportunity to poison Chan’s lunch box.

You looked into the hallway to see dozens of students walking by the infirmary. What to do? What to do? An accident, yes, but what? You saw a flower vase near the door, and the idea came at once. Slowly, you pulled the flowers out and saw the clear water inside. Creeping over to the second half of the infirmary without the nurse noticing, you splashed the water into the hall. Thankfully, nobody spotted the long puddle stretching from the door to the opposite wall. It was a long-shot, but you hoped it’d work out.

A girl with long blond hair streaked with purple was walking by, too distracted by her phone to notice her surroundings, and slipped in the puddle. Hiding in the room, you smiled hearing her body thud hard and painfully groan. The commotion alerted the nurse, who left to find the student on the ground. You took the chance. You dashed to the cabinet, picked the lock, and searched the various medicine bottles until you found a stomach reliever. It was meant to make someone vomit out whatever ailed their stomach. You shoved the bottle in your pocket, and then rushed out of the room before the nurse returned, guiding the injured girl to a bed. Other students cleaned up the spilled water, all commenting on where it could have come from and didn't see you sneaking off. You went up the stairs with purpose towards the classroom. Chan was already in the room, putting down his bag and lunch box. You admired him for a moment, taking in the measure of him from afar. Visions of a smiling Chan hanging on your every word made you melt. You liked thinking of you and Chan sharing a desk, talking and laughing before class started. They’d be in their own world away from everyone else. Chan would be all yours all the time.

Ugh, damn Sunghoon’s coding.

“Hey, Chan.”

Felix entered the room, not noticing you standing there. Blond hair gelled back from his face, he wore earrings that dangled to his jawline and a hoop around one nostril. A self-proclaimed ‘thug’, Felix did not appear any more intimidating up close. In fact, the light freckles across his nose and cheekbones made him more innocent looking. He kept his hands in his pockets, and strutted up to Chan’s desk.

“Hey Felix-ah,” Chan said, fixing his bag on the back of his chair. “What’s up?”

“Some of my friends are gonna be meeting up after school and going into town,” Felix said, “I was wondering if you wanted to come along.”

“You know how I feel about your ‘friends’,” the contempt clear in his voice, “They’re a bunch of delinquents and they’re a bad influence on you.”

“Oh, come on, man. They’re not that bad. We just,” Felix smirked, “Like a bit of trouble sometimes. It doesn’t hurt to be naughty occasionally.”

“It is when it involves drugs and drinking all the time. I heard what happened the last time you and your friends went into town. I don’t know how you could stand being in a jail cell.”

“It’s not so bad,” Felix excused. He paused, “I wanna hang out with you like we used to, Hyung. I know we went separate ways since starting school, but I miss us hanging out.”

Chan’s face softened, and he thought for a moment. “I was gonna go grab a snack from the canteen before classes. Wanna come with me?”

“Sure, sounds alright.”

The two friends left the room through the first door. Jealousy coiled itself around your insides, and you dug your nails into your palms. It should be him eating with Chan, not good-for-nothing Felix. You'd love to have a meal with Chan; it was too bad you’d be leaving once the game ended. The thought of living in a world without Chan, however, sounded miserable and empty.

No, that isn’t you talking. It’s Sunghoon. You should’ve been more thorough.

The wall clock ticked loudly, and haste made you nearly jump. You went over to Chan’s desk and unwrapped the lunch box. It was the standard lunch with rice, meat and vegetables with seaweed soup. Jisung clearly went through a lot of trouble to make it especially for Chan. You gasped when you saw a note sitting on top of a small package of mints.

“You’re the best!” went across it with a heart beside a cartoon drawing of Jisung’s face.

You crushed the note and took the mints. Pulling out the medicine, you put a few droplets in the soup. Now, you only had to wait. You turned to his desk when the phone rang.

“You’re a risk taker, aren’t you? That could seriously make Chan ill! And what you did to that girl…”

“Don’t play innocent now,” you scolded the phone, “You invented a game where I’m supposed to kill people to gain Chan’s attention. You were expecting me to go around slicing people’s necks instead of actually using my brain?” You scanned around to search for students, then said, “Murdering Jisung after murdering Kitae the previous day will draw too much attention to the school. You were the one that told me offing Chan’s friends would decrease his sanity. I’m playing the sabotage game.”

“None of the other players were like you,” the chat bubble finally came back. “Some of them used the pacifist way because they didn’t want to hurt anyone. Others cried after murdering someone because they felt they didn’t have a choice. But you…you’re different. You’re not like them.”

“No, I’m not. You gave me a goal, and I’m going to achieve it.”

Chan gave you a sense of purpose you hadn’t felt in a long time. In the real world, you had been going through the motions of life: waking up, going to work, socializing with coworkers, coming home to your empty apartment, and gaming until bedtime. You didn’t have that many friends back home. Nobody really reached out or cared to invite you out, so you stayed home most days. It wasn’t anything different from your childhood. The friends you did have then were the unsavory sort your parents disapproved of, but you didn’t care. Yet, in adulthood, you decided you'd rather be alone. Being given a task sprung new life into you. Chan gave you a reason to keep on going.

Upon hearing students approaching the classroom, you quickly tied up Chan’s box again and moved to your desk. Chan reappeared absent his friend, on his phone and munching on an apple. You would give anything to be that apple, and feel those lips and teeth on you. Your cheeks burned feeling Chan coming closer, but no pink vision or racing heartbeat. It was time to put your changes to the test. The both of you took seats next to one another, and you placed your textbook on the desk. You waited until Chan looked away to nudge your book to the floor. The smack it gave upon landing made Chan turn his way. You made to move for it, but gentleman Chan reached it first.

“Thanks,” you smiled when Chan handed you the textbook.

“No problem,” Chan assured you, then he finally looked at you. “Hey, I’ve never seen you in here before. Are you new?”

“Yes, I am,” you nodded. “I’m YN,” you shook hands. Chan’s touch sent shivers throughout your body, and you almost frowned when Chan let go. “I just transferred here from…” he needed a name, “Hyosan High School”

“Hyosan? Never heard of it. Is it Seoul?”

“Incheon,” the first place that came to mind, “That’s where I was for a few years,” you said easily. “My dad got a job there and we had to move, but we recently came back. My parents’ friends told us what a good school Whimoon is, and,” you shrugged, “Here I am.”

“But, you’re younger than us, no? You should be in the junior classes.”

“I skipped a grade,” you said, thinking of it quickly. You’d never actually thought of what they’d talk about before. You’d focused too much on making it happen. “My mother said I shouldn’t because it’d be hard for me to make friends with older kids, but my dad said it’d look good on university applications.”

“Me too! We moved from Australia a few years ago, and it was a huge adjustment for me.” He then asked, “What clubs are you in?”

“Oh, I joined the garden club,” you showed Chan the club pins, “And I signed up for the swim team.”

Chan’s face lit up, “What a coincidence! I’m in both. I could introduce you to the guys at the gym. I’m sure they’d love to meet you.”

“That’d be great!” you beamed, your heart leaping at the prospect of seeing Chan again…and again…and again… “Are schools in Australia different from ones here?”

You began asking Chan questions about himself. You wanted to know everything about him. You regretted having to hurt him, but it’s all for the cause. You needed to get out of here and back home. Even with Chan as a perk, you refused to relive high school over and over until you won the game. Seeing the skills tablet again, you pressed on physical education and chemistry. Perhaps you could use the skill to make your own poisons rather than steal from the infirmary. When lunch time came, you considered going with Chan, but you didn’t want to be there when the other became sick. Your heart couldn't take hearing him in pain.

You followed behind him instead. Chan ate his lunch in the cafeteria with the rest of the school, sitting with a group of friends. You took a seat nearby, but put some students between them so as not to be noticed. You didn’t care much for eating right then. You wanted to look at Chan. You watched him open up the lunch box and become amazed by the food Jisung prepared. He swirled around the soup with a disposable spoon before eating. You admired how Chan’s lips slurped up the noodles before the phone vibrated in your pocket.

“What do you want now?” You asked, irritably.

“You should be trying to get study points,” they said. “So you can improve your skills faster.”

“How do I do that?”

“Going to the library, duh!”

“I’ll do that later. Let me watch him. I need to make sure my plan works.”

“It’s going to work. The game’s designed to go your way…sometimes.”

“Exactly, ‘sometimes’. Now, hush.”

You stayed close by as Chan finished the entire lunch. It was good to know he had a healthy appetite. You felt full just watching him eat. A part of you knew this was Sunghoon shining through, but you couldn’t help finding Chan attractive too. The developer clearly spent more time creating Chan than they did on any of the others. You wondered about the reason behind that.

Chan walked past holding the box when a pair of chopsticks slipped out onto the floor. They'd fallen right at your feet. You could see the stains from the sauced meat stew still on the ends. You thought about Chan sucking the sauce off before tossing them. You imagined your mouth touching where Chan's had been, and sucking it. It'd be like your lips were touching.

Lord, that was weird. That was only the character talking.

Chan threw out the box when he paused. Your heart dropped seeing the boy suddenly clutch at his stomach and double over. Oh, you hoped Chan didn’t instantaneously vomit in front of everyone. You’d hate to see him endure such embarrassment. Yet, Chan managed to rush out of the cafeteria before anyone spotted him. You followed, making sure to stay out of sight. Chan made it into the nearest bathroom, and you heard him hurling before you stepped inside. His retching echoed in the small space. You clutched the small tin of peppermints Jisung packed in the box as an idea came. You quickly ducked into the stall beside Chan’s right as he came out. When Chan stood at the sink, washing his hands and rinsing out his mouth, you came out of the stall with a worried expression.

“Chan-hyung?” You kept your voice soft and small, full of innocence. “Are you alright?”

The older boy looked up from the sink and turned away in humiliation. “Hi, YN-ssi. Yeah, I’m okay. I guess I must’ve eaten something that messed up my stomach.”

“That’s awful,” you said. You walked up to the sinks, and began washing your hands. “You should go to the infirmary and see if the nurse has something for stomach pains. You can’t go around with that pain all day.”

“You’re right,” he nodded.

“What did you eat, if I may ask?”

Chan listed the food Jisung made for him. “A friend made it for me,” he finished, “And he’s usually a very good cook. He’s in the Cooking Club, so I’m surprised.”

“Do you think he might have done it on purpose? Like a cruel prank or something like that?”

“Oh, no, no,” Chan shook his head, “Jisung isn’t that kind of person. He’d never do that. It must've been a mistake.” He rubbed his stomach, “A really big one.”

“Here,” you fished the mint tin from your pocket, and offered it to Chan, “Have one. Mint helps with your stomach and it’ll freshen your breath.”

“Thanks,” he took one and popped it into his mouth. “Have you eaten yet?” he asked, changing the subject. “It’s important to eat, so you have energy for the rest of the day.”

“Not yet,” you said. “I was in the library doing some work before my next class. I was on my way there now, but I heard you throwing up and wanted to check on you.”

“That’s very kind of you.” The compliment made your heart sing. “Do you know where the cafeteria is? I could walk you there.”

You felt your phone vibrating, the sound very audible in the room. You ignored it. “That’d be helpful. I’ve been getting lost all day,” you chuckled, giving a sweet smile.

“This way.”

Chan led you towards the cafeteria. You smelled the light scent of cologne on him. You deeply inhaled the hints of sandalwood coming from his blazer. You wanted to bury your face in Chan’s neck, licking and sucking the flesh while Chan groaned in your ear. You realized how much smaller you were compared to the tall and broad boy beside you. You’d fit perfectly in his arms.

But, that was Sunghoon. Back home, you have plenty of opportunities to kiss other boys. Sometimes.

“Here it is,” Chan brought you to the doors of the cafeteria. “I’m gonna head to the infirmary. See you at the gym, okay? I already told the team we had a new member, and they’re really excited to meet you.”

“I’m excited to meet them too!”

You said goodbye to Chan and watched him walk away before turning back into the room. Right as you did, somebody knocked right into you. The force caused you to fall to the ground, and glare up at the person who’d bumped you.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I should be watching where I’m going!”

Short with brown hair swooped over his cat-like eyes, you knew he was a student council member by the white gold pin on his lapel. He extended a hand and helped you from the floor. You noticed his pointy nose and thick top lip. He was handsome, for sure, much like the rest of the students in the school. A sudden whiff of orange blossoms hit your nose. It was nice. You saw the stunned expression the boy wore for a fleeting moment, but was then covered with concern. It was the same one you’d worn when he first saw Chan yesterday. It worries you.

“It’s okay,” you said, brushing off your uniform and picking up your bag from the floor. “I wasn’t paying attention either. No worries.”

You made to move, but the boy stopped him, “I’m Lee Minho, student council president.” You shook hands, “I haven’t seen you around before. You must be the new student. Mrs. Lee mentioned it to us.”

“Um, yeah. I’m YN.”

Minho looked you up and down again, “Nice to meet you…YN-ssi.” He breathed out the last word, and you did not like it. “Have you been finding your classes okay? I could give you a short tour before class resumes to get you more familiar with the place.”

“I’ve been finding them just fine, thanks. I’m…I’m gonna eat really quick.” You moved past him, “Thank you, though,” you threw over your shoulder as you hurried to the lunch line.

“Feel free to stop by the student council room if you need-”

You stood too far away to hear the rest of the offer, yet you could feel Minho’s eyes still on you. Immediately, you pulled out your phone. “What the hell was that?”

‘Ah, you’ve met your final rival, Lee Minho.’

“Final rival? I thought I met them all yesterday?”

“Minho was meant to be a sort of ‘secret rival’ at the end. Yeah, he’s the hardest one to beat and sort of keeps his distance throughout the game. It seems that’s changed.”

“What do you mean it’s changed?”

“Well, dumbass, who you changed the game’s inner workings, you changed everyone’s autonomy and A.I. mechanics! Now, instead of being little robots with set patterns and schedules, you made them think for themselves. I programmed Minho to have a specific type so if you decided to matchmake him, you could tailor a suitor to his taste.”

“Okay, but what does that have to…” your voice trailed off, “Oh my god…I’m his type, aren’t I?”

“Minho likes the shy, sweet types who enjoy gardening, reading, justice, and are honest and intelligent. Those are all qualities Chan has, hence why he develops a crush on Chan! But, since you tailored yourself to be like him so you two get along in your stupid plan to win his affections, Minho likes you instead! It doesn’t help that you made yourself ultra hot either! Guess your little tampering with my game didn’t work out after all.” They then sent, “You could always just get with Minho instead. You’ll get a game over, but hey…Minho’s not half bad.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you spat and shoved your phone back into your pocket.

This was terrible. Having a student council member following you around will make working harder. You’d have to get rid of Minho somehow. Whether through scheming or other means, you’d need to consider more carefully.

****

Gym class arrived after lunch. You worried Chan might not show up due to his sickness, but the game world kicked in and Chan stood in the gymnasium with the rest of the class. Your eyes scanned down his body, seeing him in the white and dark green shirt and shorts uniform. The shirt stretched across his chest, a bit snug around his biceps. You couldn’t stop yourself from imagining what was underneath the shirt. You wished you could take him somewhere quiet and secluded, where you could explore him without interruption.

Sunghoon needed to get out of your system somehow. You aren’t part of this universe. You had a home and life back in reality. Briefly, you wondered if anyone noticed you were gone yet.

“Hey YN-ssi!” Chan called out to you, waving from his corner of the gym.

You saw the other boys he stood with and guessed they were swim team members. Nerves stirred in your stomach as you walked closer to the group. The thought of meeting this group never crossed your mind before. You honestly had no interest in getting to know any of them. Your mind focused on Chan, who grinned at you with a dimpled smile.

“Hey, Chan-hyung,” you smiled back. “How are you feeling? Better?”

“Eh, still kinda meh,” he sighed. “Coach said I should take things easy today, but I didn’t want an absence on my record.”

A diligent student. You liked this…well, Sunghoon did. “You really should be laying down in the infirmary. Running around and doing loads of physical activity could make things worse.”

"I think it'd be good for Chan to get some fresh air and exercise."

The boy who had spoken smiled at them both. It was the boy from the track yesterday, Seo Changbin. He stood a bit shorter than Chan, but wider due to a meticulous work out regimen. Sharp eyes only showed half the dark irises, and his small plush lips stayed in a soft smile. Yet, it wasn’t his obvious good looks that drew you. It was how his eyes constantly looked over Chan with admiration. Not the kind a guy has for his friend, but a man surveying their lover.

He watched Chan as the elder started talking to the rest of the group. He examined Chan’s soft features as if putting each one to memory. You did not blame him, but your blood boiled seeing them so close together. Chan was yours. You felt like pulling Chan to you, hugging his side to make a claim on him. You could take on the buff boy. With a sharp knife, you could slice him into ribbons.

No, not like that. It’s only a game.

“YN, this is Changbin,” Chan said, nodding over to him. “He’s on the team too. Changbin, this is YN, our newest member.”

“Nice to meet you,” you said with a bow, keeping your eyes on him.

"Same. Chan-hyung mentioned we'd be having a new teammate. It'll be nice to finally have someone to round out the team. It hasn’t been the same since Eunwoo left school. Maybe we can start competing again, huh?”

"Hopefully."

The team walked into the weight room, where the school kept various pieces of gym equipment. You’d never been much of a weightlifter. In school, you’d stuck to doing as little activity as possible. Yet, you still sat at the arm and back presses beside Chan, who placed himself on the machine properly. One again, your mind went blank with things to talk about, so you forced yourself to work out.

Changbin took the seating bench in front of them, starting to do arm curls with a heavy weight. You envied the other boy’s muscles; they were defined but not too bulky. Did Chan like that? You knew you personally did not care, but your character worried about it. Yes, it was Sunghoon who cared, not you.

“YN-ssi,” Changbin said, “You’re from Incheon?”

“Yeah, but we moved here because of my dad’s job.”

“What does he do?”

“He works for an imported goods company. He does a lot of business back and forth now,” you said, finishing a set and taking a break. Weight lifting did not hurt as much as you thought it might. The physical education points must be doing their job.

“Oh, my dad does that too!” Changbin perked up, “They sell fabrics and stuff overseas to the other companies there. He mainly works in the office now, so he doesn’t do so much traveling.”

“Changbin sometimes goes with him,” Chan said, relaxing on the machine. “He’s been everywhere.”

Changbin blushed, “Not everywhere. Just most places. What about you?”

You paused, “I’ve been…some places. My dad never took me much because my mum wants me to focus on school. She says I can’t become a doctor or a lawyer or a businessman if I’m always away from school.”

“They must be hard on you about studying then,” Chan noted. “Mine are the same way. They’re always pushing me to do well in school. I have to be the best at everything all the time. It gets tiring, honestly…”

“Yeah, it is.”

In truth, your parents didn't care much about what you did with your life as long as it wasn’t illegal or immoral. They’d been too wrapped up with their own lives and careers to pay him much mind. The only time they started showing any kind of concern had been when he came out to them. Then suddenly, everything became about covering up your sexuality. Your father hated you and your mother disapproved of you. Then she wondered why you’d moved so far from home.

“But, I’m sure they’re very proud of you,” you said to him. “They only want what's best for us in the end." All parents but yours, of course.

“They are!” Changbin said for Chan. “Chan’s dad bought him a car when he passed his finals last year.”

Chan smiled shyly, pushing hair from his face, “It was no big deal. I didn’t think he’d get me one.”

“That’s still cool,” you said, “I don’t know anyone who actually owns a car.”

“Really?��

You realized the lie didn’t fit with your rich-boy persona. You immediately recovered by saying, “Well, ones they drive themselves, anyway. It gives you a lot of independence.”

The three began talking about parents and cars. You couldn’t get over Changbin’s eyes twinkling whenever they landed on Chan throughout class. Changbin is another rival who’d be next on his list. You’d eliminate him right now if you weren’t focused on Jisung at the moment. Getting rid of two in one level certainly made things easier. But, you held back. You didn’t know how that might affect the game. School ended after gym class, and everyone started heading off to hagwon, extracurriculars, or home. You decided to opt out of that and headed for the school garden. You knew Jisung and Chan would be meeting soon, and you needed to see the result. Seeing them beside the shed again, you ducked into a hedge and circled to the back of the wooden shed.

“Chan-hyung,” Jisung’s voice reached him first. “How’d you like the lunch I made?”

“Um, uh…Jisung…you know I usually like your cooking,” Chan started nervously. “But, this one made me sick. I've had stomach cramps almost all day. The nurse said it could’ve been because the meat was bad.”

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry that happened! I’d made the same thing for myself, and mine was perfectly fine. I’ll take better care of what I’m cooking next time,” Jisung said apologetically. You heard the sadness coming through, and it made you smile. “Do you want to work on the strawberries with me? They’re coming out really well. I think they’re almost ripe enough to pick.”

“No thanks, Jisung-ah,” he said, “I’m still feeling a bit ill, so I think I’ll go home.”

"Um, okay. I hope you feel better."

You giggled softly at the disappointment on Jisung’s face. Stage one complete. You left the garden without being noticed and followed Chan to the school’s main entrance. Walking behind him, you knew you should double back to your own home. You needed serious de-Chan time. Sunghoon’s coding stuck to you like glue, remaining in his desires and obsession with Chan. Conditioning tactics came to mind to try not liking Chan. He’s a typical good looking anime boy. Nothing special. Nothing special at all.

Except his eyes. Round and slightly downturned, you couldn’t help picturing them crinkling when he smiled. The sweet dimpled smile that gave you butterflies whenever it flashed in your direction. You could drown yourself in those eyes, so deep and beautiful. It had been a long time since anyone made you feel how Chan did. Every dead thing inside you came to life at the sight of him. You knew you’d go home once you beat the game, but you almost did not want to leave. Leaving meant that you’d never see Chan again. You wouldn’t see those eyes or hear his voice saying words of comfort or love. It brought tears to your eyes. Your body yearned to be close to him. It ached for him.

When Chan reached the school gates, you moved closer. Chan must still be feeling ill if he’s skipping clubs to go home. You worried it might linger into the next day. What if you put too much? You considered stealing medicine from the infirmary again, but you knew he’d be fine by tomorrow. Games worked like that. You both reached the front of the gates where Chan disappeared through the invisible barrier. Rather than take the portal to your bedroom, you tentatively walked into the second portal after him.

It landed you in a normal suburban neighborhood where everything looked exactly the same. Chan walked ahead of him, humming softly and turning into a driveway. You stayed a few paces back and waited until he disappeared behind the fence. Chan’s house looked exactly like the others: a town story house with a blue car in the driveway. You noticed garden hedges lining walls that led to a side door leading to the backyard. Once Chan entered the house, you went through the door into the side of the building. A small alley with gardening tools and thick bushes going along the walls, you ducked quietly to peek into the first window. Chan was kicking off his shoes, hanging up his house keys and book bag next. Chan then went from a living room to a bedroom on the other side of the house. Thankfully, the Bahngs didn’t have a dog.

Chan’s room had white walls and oakwood floors. A triangular light gave the room a soft pink and purple glow, mixing with the lamp right next to his bed. You saw music equipment in one corner of the room, and potted plants along the opposite window sill. He had artwork on the walls alongside the usual game and movie posters. You stayed low to the window sill, eyeing Chan as he switched from his uniform into more casual, comfortable clothes. Knowing Chan was safe at home, you felt okay going to your own home. Yet, you did not move. You stood there a few minutes longer to see your beloved pull out a manga comic from a shelf, grab a pillow and start reading. He liked anime, of course. You made mental notes of everything in the room to bring up in conversation later. Chan was then called to dinner sometime later. Him and an older woman sat at a dinner table and ate together. Chan ate well. He’d finished his entire meal. You wanted to make food for him; he deserved to be taken care of and nurtured properly.

You hid deep in the bushes when Chan took out the trash. You waited until he went back inside to rifle through it. Just a little token, a little piece to keep. You might even get to take it home. Eventually, you found the napkin Chan had been using to wipe his mouth. Gingerly pulling it out, you held it in your hand and saw the small swipes of sauce. You shuddered putting it to your mouth, picturing them as Chan's lips instead. You stuck the napkin into your pocket, and snuck out of the yard.

Loving Chan is not a crime. It isn’t awful, like your father once said. Chan gave you a sense of safety and purpose. It brought a new light into your dark world. Having a little piece of someone so special to you didn’t sound that bad. You smiled, feeling the napkin in your pocket. It was nice having a piece of him close to your body.

God, you’re sick. You needed to get rid of Sunghoon completely.

****

A/N: Hahah things starting to get concerning already! As always, I'd love it if you reblogged and liked this fic <3

#stray kids #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #bangchan stray kids #lee minho #han jisung #stray kids x male reader #bangchan x male reader #stray kids x reader #skz #skz fanfiction #skz fanfic #bangchan skz #lee know stray kids #lee know skz

43 notes · View notes