#SPECIAL THANKS TO RATMOUSE!! WITHOUT ITS LYRIC POSTING I WOULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS PROBABLY!!!

[sidersstuff]

Jasper/Orion bad ending to Never Love an Anchor - The Crane Wives

Yippee! This is gonna be fun! First encounter with the full song I think, so a few things might be off or weird, doesn't help that I'm tired gndhdh (definitely off from the original meaning, which is about a parent and child.)

"On some level I think I always understood that these hands of mine were clumsy, not clever. And I tried to do the best that I could, but try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to hold you." - Jasper and his attachment issues, they always thought that his hands were clever in a way, as they've always been good with technology and stuff, but when it comes to people and loving others, they freeze, his hands suddenly aren't as steady as they are when placing delicate chips in specific spots.

"It's a secret I keep tucked inside my chest, with this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful." - Jasper feels guilty about lying about being human, sure, but they don't think they did anything wrong by it, he doesn't regret it, if that makes any sense.

"There is love that doesn't have a place to rest, but it would have buried you if it had settled on on your shoulders." - Jasper chokes up when it comes to love (and really emotions in general actually), especially now, but when they're able to express his love outwardly and comfortably, they love big. There has to be a better word for that but I am tired.

"On some level I think I always understood, that a ship could never really love an anchor." - HEAR ME OUT. Jasper being the ship, Orion being the anchor. Jasper is bound to leave at some point, but Orion won't be leaving with him. Jasper will set sail back to Rana, while Orion is staying anchored where he's always been on Earth. (I KNOW TECHNICALLY SHIPS BRING THEIR ANCHORS UP BUT THE SONG TALKS ABOUT CUTTING THE ANCHOR AWAY AND MY SYMBOLISM DOESN'T WORK WITH HAT SO SHHHHHHHHH /sill)

"So I did the only thing I could, and severed the rope to set you sailing from my harbor." - Orion letting Jasper go, despite how much he wants them to stay, he knows that Jasper would never be happy like that (or would they -rock face- /sill) and he knows that he would never be happy to leave the farm, especially to go to some new planet where he might not even be able to live, metaphorically and literally. So he does the only thing he could do, and lets them go.

"There are times when I still wonder about you, you are someone I loved but never known." - Orion still thinking about them months, maybe even years down the line. I mean, if you found out someone you loved wasn't even from the same planet as you, you'd probably be a bit skeptical about what else you know of them, right? He feels like he never truly knew Jasper, that his whole personality could've been a lie just to fit into the society he was forced into better. He loved them anyways, wanted to get to know them if it was a lie, but he didn't get that.

"And you'll never see the reasons I had for keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you." - Jasper sheathing his 'claws' or, in this case, identity, because he feels like they [his family/species] would (and probably actually could, if they ever came back for them first.) hurt him if they found out a human knew they existed, let alone have a relationship (friendship or otherwise) with one of their own.

"I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel. I am all the things they might have said to you." - This could be taken two ways, from Jaspers perspective, he's selfish for leaving Orion, they're broken for their weird feelings around emotions, especially love, they're cruel for not even being able to give Orion the proper goodbye he deserved. Also like idk if anyone else had this experience but my mom and other adult figures would always make jokes and stuff about aliens and while my experience wasn't about them being necessarily bad, I know that some others I knew were scared of the idea of aliens thinking they were, so just that really, and I think an alien species just outside of Earth's solar system (especially one that sometimes visits Earth) would learn about humans the same. From Orion's perspective, he's selfish for wanting Jasper to stay with him, he's broken for still being caught up on them months later, he's cruel for letting Jasper leave, letting them go back to the same people who had abandoned him.

"Do you ever think of me and my two hands, and wonder why they never soothed your fevers, and wonder why they never ties your shoes, and why they never held you gently, and wonder why they never had the chance to lose you?" - Just them yearning for a life together really, they'd be the kinds to want a simple domestic lifestyle, but haha they don't get thattt <333

ANYWAYSSS like I said things might be off for many reasons, maybe I'll update it one day when they're a bit more developed and I am not very tired and I have more experience with the song who knows this is what's there for now! Uh enjoy! Or don't!