#SORRY I JUST HAVE BIG HARLAN FEELINGS TODAY.

[tragedia]

let it be known, harlan is not one to subscribe to a cause or religion, but he might be one to submerge himself in a person if they treat him well and give him room to explore whatever hides under the facade of calm.

[cookstorys]

Can you write Harlan and male reader where Harlan is sensitive but still a little guarded and reader says something he shouldn’t and has to apologize?

𝙰𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚎𝚜

_____________

Character- Harlan Briggs

Show/Movie- Wolf Pack

Warning- Soft! Harlan

Females Dni

_____________

You hated seeing Harlan cry, you truly did. He’s hard on the outside and acts all tough and mighty but on the inside, he’s just a big softy. He was like a super big egg that needed comforting and You genuinely didn’t mind giving it to him. However, when you slipped up this once you knew it was over.

Waking up in your bed felt different today. As if something was going to happen. This turned out to be proven correct when you got a call from your boyfriend to come to pick up him and his troublesome friends from the police station. After picking up and dropping off Everett and Blake. You pulled up the Brigg’s residence driveway and came to a stop.

An uncomfortable silence filled the car. Luna took a deep breath breaking the silence then spoke. “Thank you for doing that. Dad would have killed us.” Luna awkwardly laughed trying to make the tension a little less unbearable. “No problem.” Then silence fell between the teens again. Luna could feel the tension rise more between the couple so she thought it’ll be best if she removed herself. “I have to go do..stuff, thanks again.” She spoke opening the door and leaving the two boys alone.

“What were you thinking Harlan.” You scoffed. Harlan hadn’t been acting the same lately and you had thoughts it was probably deep but you thought it would’ve been best to give him space. Getting arrested, however, was crossing the line. “Look, I’m sorry. I wanted to hang out with some friends and with my dad going missing I thought a good smoke session would be great.” Harlan defended hating the fact he had to lie to his boyfriend. It’s not that Harlan didn’t trust [name], he trusted him with his life if it came down to it. Harlan just wasn’t ready to take that big of a leap.

“Harlan, you can’t keep using that bullshit as an excuse that you did it to ‘feel better about your missing father’. Why can’t u just be a normal human being and get fucking therapy? Or hell talk to me, your fucking boyfriend!” Harlan was speechless after that. Is that all [name] thought he was doing? Using his dad as an excuse to ‘act out’, that he was too close off for [name]’s liking, that Harlan wasn’t ‘normal’?

Streams of tears started to fall from the boy's eyes. His lip started to quiver under [name] sight and words. He was vulnerable in front of the other boy. He was vulnerable because of the other boy. “ You’re an ass [last name].” He cried and Exit the car leaving his, now regretful, boyfriend with his thoughts.

_________Time Skip_________

The two twins sat in silence as one slept on the other's lap. Luna hated seeing her brother like this and she wanted the story but first, she wanted to know if her brother will be ok. When the time came for her to ask questions, she realized her twin was far too asleep to answer anything. A knock at the door brought Luna out of her thoughts. She looked towards the wooden door to see who dared to interrupt such a peaceful moment. When her eyes landed on you she just rolled them.

She moved Harlan’s head so it could be laid on his pillow and practically ran towards the door, pulling you by you’re ear with her. “Ow, what the fuck Luna.” You whispered trying not to wake your sleeping boyfriend that’s 3feet away. “ Don’t ‘what the fuck’ me. I should be ‘what the fuck’ing you. What the fuck did you do my brother.” She yelled back trying to keep her voice down along with you. Both teens knew to never awaken the other teen from his sleep, life it death situations included.

“Wait, I kinda got lost in all the ‘what the fuck’ing. What were we talking about again.” You confessed. Luna rolled her eyes heavily. “You know what, I don’t care what happened. Just fix it.” She stated sternly walking away with a huff.

Each step towards the door felt heavy. You always were scared of confrontation but seeing your boyfriend sleeping peacefully on his bed made everything a lot less stressful. You turned the lights off, left your shoes by the headboard, and climbed in bed behind him, wrapping your arm across his torso. “I’m sorry, I’m an asshole, Harlan.” You apologized then kissed the crook of his neck and buried yourself in it. Little to your knowledge Harlan was wide awake and when he knew you were asleep, he got deeper into your embrace with a smile.

[saturnian-catboy]

Some other creatures in Malevolent also aren't Harlan's originals but from Lovecraft! Though he does have his own twist on everything :)

sorry that you're getting a ramble you didn't ask for please feel free to ignore

Yeah, King in Yellow is originally a book from 1890s (which I unironically and genuinely always try to recommend reading, I love it and it's great), but the name Hastur is even older than Chamber's work, as he first appeared in 1891 "Haita the Shepherd". That Hastur doesn't have that much in common with KiY being, pardon the pun, non-malevolent sheep deity, but credit where credit is due.

Also! While the original "King in Yellow" already has a ton of elements and stuff associated with it today, there's a lot that came from later writers' ideas. Lovecraft himself referenced it in his writing, although as a literal name-drop (fun fact here - in Chamber's "King in Yellow" it's not actually clear if Hastur is a person or a place connected to KiY, and that stays true for Lovecraft's mention) and that's why later writers' inspired by his works used it as well.

Most important of the early ones would be Derleth, a guy infamous for claiming his things were co-written with Lovecraft, because he took some ideas from his notes after his death, and for being the first to make Lovecraft's cosmology into a battle between good and evil and trying to organize the unknowable cosmic horror.

He's the one responsible for the "Hastur is a brother of Cthulhu and now trapped in a lake"

A surprisingly big influence on how King in Yellow is seen today is the way he's presented in Call of Cthulhu RPG - to be fair it was probably many people's, including mine, first contact with the mythos. Harlan also plays it, btw, he even has some live streams on his channel that are surprisingly relevant to malevolent even if my boy Hastur is not there

I may have just woken up and this is a special interest of mine, so. that's what happens

Am I the only one who didn't know until just now that John, The King In Yellow, Ruler of Carcosa, Hastur, ISN'T HARLAN'S CHARACTER??? HES FROM A BOOK FROM THE 1890s!!!

[buckyismybicycle]

cold like this

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader Rating: Teen/Mature Tags: Huddling for Warmth, Sexual Tension, Stranded, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Kissing A/N: I wrote 99% of this in 2019 after watching Knives Out. Today, I decide to write the last few sentences, so SORRY if it reads weird. I'm just out here trying to clear my drafts 😬 Summary: No, you did not want a ride from Ransom fucking Drysdale. [AO3 Link]

No, you did not want a ride from Ransom fucking Drysdale. But Harlan looked at you with big bright eyes and his patented smile so what choice did you have but to accept your fate.

“Really, Mr. Thombey, I am perfectly fine to walk to town and ask for a cab,” you tried one more time, putting on your brightest smile.

“For goodness sake, child, how many times must you make me worry about you. My grandson’s not doing anything of importance right now, anyway, I assure you. Ransom!” He calls out.

You knew that. Ransom hasn’t worked a job in his life, guzzling the money out of poor Mr. Thombey like a spoiled brat, and worst of all, he gloated about it. It takes everything in you not to fume just at the sight of him as he walks in the room.

“You called?”

“Yes, Ransom, could you please be a gentleman and offer my lovely assistant a ride into town, it’s terribly cold outside and getting dark.” 

Goddammit. 

So that’s how you find yourself stuck in a smoking car, several feet off the path with Ransom huffing and puffing, complaining about his “piece of shit car” which was worth more than everything you owned, combined. 

Your phone was dead, nothing more than a paperweight in your bag while Ransom had left his at home. Unbelievable that the one time he wasn’t glued to it was the time you needed it. The cold air bit at your skin when he’d gotten out of the car to inspect the damage, and you grimace as he gets back in the car, the heat slowly leaking out of the vehicle. In a matter of minutes, you’re sure that you were both going to freeze. 

“I’m going to walk the rest of the way, good luck with your car,” you say flippantly as you reach for the handle. 

“Hang on a sec, princess.” He grabs your forearm to stop you. “You’ll fucking freeze out there.”

“So? I’d rather freeze my ass off out there alone than in here with you.” 

“Shame, it’s a decent ass,” he snarks back, rolling his eyes. “Look, someone will come along soon enough, let’s just sit tight.” Annoyed to hell, you cross your arms and look out the window at the alarming accumulation of snow. The weather was definitely unexpected, and rare, which is why you weren’t dressed warmly enough in the first place, and there’s a sinking feeling when you realize the cold is seeping in quickly, despite being in the car. 

You try to think about a warm, tropical place, about a vacation you’d been dreaming about - nothing but the beach, a warm breeze -

“Here,” Ransom’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You look to see he’s offered you his jacket, leaving him in nothing but his sweater. 

“I’m fine,” you respond automatically. 

“You’re shivering enough to shake the whole damn car,” he sneers, throwing the jacket on top of you. Loathed to admit it, you did instantly feel warmer, the body heat lingering on the material along with his spicy cologne. 

It’s an uncomfortable stretch of silence, and as tired as you were from today’s work, the cold makes it impossible for you to rest. You didn’t complain, since Ransom had given you his coat, it’s not like there was much more either of you could do. What was more surprising was that he had crossed his arms over his chest, and you could see his breath fogging up the window which made you feel bad for taking the coat in the first place. As much of an ass you thought he was, you didn’t need to be his charity case.

“Take your coat back, you’re starting to get cold,” you offer, going to push it off. His arm shoots out across your chest as he holds it against you to keep your warmth in. 

“It’s fine, you need it more,” he states. You look at him before pointedly looking down at his arm, still outstretched across your chest. He catches on pretty quickly because he retracts his hand like he’d been burned. “Get in the back.”

“What?” 

“Just trust me,” he gripes. And while you think to yourself there is nothing that you would trust Ransom with, his tone is clipped and you don’t necessarily want to be stuck with an even moodier version of him. You try to work out the logistics of how to do it without struggling, so you pull your seat all the way forward before leaning it back and crawling over the console with relative ease, not caring if you scuffed the seat with your shoe. Served him right. 

It’s a stretch to get your hand back to the side of the front seat to push the backrest forward again, but soon enough, you were seated, mad that you had to give up the front seat for the cold one in the back. You don’t see how this was supposed to help you. 

Without a word, you watch as Ransom twists in his seat, and to your horror, starts climbing in the back too.

“What the hell are you doing?” You blurt out.

“Fucking going for a swim,” he snaps irritably, as his large frame forces him to contort uncomfortably, even with as much space as possible. You curl your legs in and turn away to give him enough space to turn around, rolling your eyes as his ass almost swipes against your face. Could you have been stuck with a more obnoxious person?

“Get over here.” 

“What?”

“Did the cold freeze all your brain cells or are you purposely being dense?” He fixes you with a stare. “I said get over here.” You look between his open arms and up to his face, where you’re expecting a smug smirk of sorts. 

“Um, no way.” 

“Seriously?” He throws his hands up. “I’m trying to save you from getting hypothermia.” You make a noise of disgust before he scooches closer and wraps his arm around your shoulders. As much as you want to flinch  and reel back, away from his touch, it’s like an instant warmth spreads down your back. You worry your lip as you debate your options and to your dismay, your traitorous brain decides that it really is in your best interest to lean into Ransom, wrapping his coat tighter around yourself. 

“Thought so,” he mutters, his breath close enough that you feel it against your scalp. 

“Shut up,” you say, though without much heat. Your body sags, exhausted, against him, and the side that’s pressed to him feels delicious warm. You don’t even really notice that his other arm has come to wrap around you as well.

“You know, it’d be a lot more comfortable if you sat in my lap.”

Jesus Christ.

“Could you stop thinking with your dick for just five minutes,” you bark, ignoring the crick in your neck. It hadn’t occurred to you that he would just simply maneuver you given his strength compared to your smaller frame. 

“Ransom,” you say sternly. Even sitting on his legs you only just manage to reach eye-level with him and he cocks an eyebrow at you with his hands still on your thighs. 

“Shut up,” he echoes your previous sentiment as he pulls you to his chest, tucking you into his neck while he wraps the jacket around you tightly. The little cocoon soon warms your whole body, and even you had to admit you felt better already. Not that he needed to know. The only problem is that each breath you take stirs something in you - his scent, his warmth, the solid muscle you felt beneath his clothes – they all made you ache with want. To your horror, your body seemed to react against your will and you could feel your resolve crumbling. Trying to stop this from becoming even more awkward, you try to shift enough to squeeze your legs together.

“Stop squirming,” he commands, but even that makes you bite your lip. Were you really that desperate that your body was reacting to Ransom? Stupidly brutish, handsome, arrogant but sexy Ransom? Fuck. 

“My leg’s falling asleep,” you lie as you go to lift it. Unfortunately, the cramped space of the car isn’t meant for two adults like this and you nearly topple over. He steadies you with his hands on your hips, bringing your one leg to rest between his. An inaudible gasp leaves your mouth when his thumbs dig into your pelvic bones, and your hands clench down on his shoulders. When he looks up at you, you watch in fascination as his pupils begin to grow. 

“Ransom -” You cut yourself off as you realize the blacks of his eyes aren’t the only thing growing. Undeniably, he’s growing hard and you can feel every bit of it against your knee. 

“It doesn't mean anything,” he excuses himself quickly. “You kept squirming, it’s just a – a reaction, or whatever.” You don’t argue, just as desperate to keep your predicament to yourself as well. He urges you to settle back down and just the contact, even through layers of clothes, of your sex against his sculpted thigh is enough to make you shiver slightly. At least you could blame it on the cold. Truly, it wasn’t even bothering you anymore since your whole body felt flushed and you were sure that your face was on fire. 

Ransom shifts underneath you, his hand reaching between you to adjust himself in his pants, but before you could move back, his hand grazed just lightly across your ever-sensitive area, pulling a low moan from you.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he whispers hoarsely. 

“It’s just a reaction,” you spit back. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” he replies in a voice that sounds all too delighted. You soon know why as he lifts his thigh up underneath you, strong enough to lift you and catch you by surprise. A small cry falls from your lips, and suddenly Ransom is desperate to swallow the sound, one hand coming to grasp the back of your neck, the other snaking under your shirt to the small of your back. 

His fingers are cold and cause your skin to break out in goosebumps, though you have no idea why your body is rebelling and kissing him back. It’s almost like your brain and body are disconnected as your hands rake through his coiffed hair, the other running down his face. 

“Fuck,” he whispers as you break apart for air, both panting. 

“We shouldn’t -”

“To hell with it,” he interrupts before surging back up for another kiss. 

“This is wrong,” you try again, though your voice sounds weak, even to you.

“You don’t believe that,” he asserts. “We both knew there was always something. We should’ve done something about it a long time ago.”

“Bullshit,” you hiss, biting his lip to make a point. You delight in the pained groan he emits.“Every fucking instagram post is of you with a new girl, you don’t have the ability to have something with anyone.” 

“Are you jealous?” He smirks, aggravating you to no end.

“Fuck, no.” 

“You are,” he pushes. “At least a little bit. C’mon, sugar, admit it, we could’ve been great together. Remember when we played soccer as kids? They always had to give the other team an extra player, ‘cause we were that good. Power couple, even as 8-year-olds.” 

“And who stopped talking to who?” You stare at him in disbelief. “I wasn’t the one that just suddenly dropped off the face of the earth.” 

It’d been years and yet you now realize that maybe, these wounds had never healed. The betrayal and heartbreak that Ransom left you with when he just upped and went, without so much as saying bye. 

“As if you would’ve noticed,” he says flatly. “Besides, you were doing just fine without me.”

“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?” You push back, the coat slipping off your shoulders, but the anger was plenty enough to keep you warm now. 

“Justin,” he practically snarls. “I never thought you were the type of girl to ditch her friends the moment she got a boyfriend, but guess I was wrong about that. Didn’t think you’d miss me, y’know?”

“You - you were the jealous one!” You accuse, flipping it back on him.

“Maybe I was!” He explodes, his eyes wild as a tsunami when he stares up at you. “I wanted to be yours. Your first. I could’ve been everything to you - for you, but you didn’t choose me.” 

“You were never an option! You - You’re his grandson, I couldn’t -”

“Well you weren’t fucking working for him when we were fourteen,” he snaps, and you couldn’t argue with that.

“You never fucking asked,” you tell him, voice hoarse. Your breath quickens at the revelation because you two had been right there - in the same spot, dancing around each other. “You never so much as looked at me.” God, how much it had hurt then. 

“Don’t fucking bullshit me,” he growls, his fingers digging into your skin when he draws you closer. “I never looked at anyone but you.” 

Ransom kissed like he did anything else – extra, over the top, sizzling. You wanted to curse him, but the words are lost against his tongue. 

You kiss for what feels like an eternity, and you don’t know if it’s the hunger or unwillingness to actually talk that keeps you both going, but you’re dizzy by the time you part. 

“Let me – lemme do it properly,” he says, voice softer than you’ve ever heard. “Take you on a nice date. Anywhere you want.”

Damn your surfacing feelings, the ones you’d tried to leave behind for years and years. He looks so earnest like this, eyes bright blue as he waits for your answer. 

“How about you get me the hell out of this storm first,” you counter, but your voice no longer holds all that resentment, and you both know that this is the start of something new. 

[captainapple]

Birthday Special with Ransom

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale X Reader Warning: implied smut, cursing, explicit language, slight angst, fluff, Minors DNI, 18+ Word counts: 973 A/N: I reuploaded it again since either I accidentally delete the post or Tumblr deleted it. This ideas came up after shitty birthday that I had. Happy birthday to all my fellow Leos! Hope you get a wonderful birthday! || Prompt: "Language"

Masterlist || Masterlist Bingo

Yes, it's implicit smut. Yes, you're probably near 18. But please, minors DNI :)

When you started dating Ransom, you just knew not to expect some romantic moments with him. The first Christmas with him, he decided to introduce you to his family. Not a great move especially he forgot to introduce everyone that you were his partner. You ended up helping Fran collecting empty plates and glasses.

Last valentine, you ended up eating the chocolate that you bought for him yourself. He did not visit, call, or even bother to text you. The next day you just found out that he spent the whole day trying to beat Harlan in Go. Did you get mad at him? Hell no. He was spending time with his grandpa, a big step that he made after dating you.

His birthday? You went all out with baking him cake and preparing a special dinner for the two of you. He went home overwhelmed. Both of you did not make it to the bedroom. The cake and the foods were ruined on the floor as he shoved them before lifting you on the table. It was upsetting you for a bit, but he was very happy. It was his birthday after all. Complaining was a bitch move – you thought.

Today, it is your birthday. All you want for your birthday are probably came from those romantic moments from the movie. Maybe a morning kiss with breakfast in bed, special dinner in romantic place, or midnight picnic under the stars. Those are just what you want, not what you get. As soon as you wake up, Ransom is sitting near the window as he reads some letters.

“Ransom, can you look at the calendar?” You try to give him hint. You circled today’s date, hoping that he gets it.

“You had an appointment?” He furrows his eyebrows, “didn’t you visit the dentist yesterday?”

“Hmm, never mind. I also forget why I marked that date.”

You feel like today could not get any worse. Your coworkers are absent, and you have to do more work on your birthday. Great. The waiter messes your lunch order, and you cannot do anything about it because the lunch break is almost over. Your dead phone cannot call Ransom to pick you up. As you step inside the house, you expect him to prepare you something. Instead, you find takeout packages on the kitchen table and unwashed dishes. He did not even leave you anything.

“Baby, your home?”

“Is that my last cookies?” You point the cookie bag in his hand.

“Yup. Want one?” His hand goes into the package, but he finds none. “Oops, sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m gonna shower anyway.”

It takes a lot of strength not to cry in front of him. A simple ‘happy birthday’ would be great. Today is supposed to be your day, yet not a single great thing happened to you. The gloom and sadness completely take over your mood today. The shower is long forgotten as you sit on the floor and cry.

“Baby, is everything okay?” Ransom turns off the shower and sits in front of you.

“Today is my birthday��

“Oh, shit! Shit! Shit!” His face turns panic. “I fucking forget about it. I’m such a jerk.”

“Language”, you smile weakly.

“I’m sorry, baby. I truly am.”

He hugs you as he apologizes like hundred times. You already feel better, but he cannot stop apologizing. He curses at himself then kisses your forehead while mumbling sorry. It goes on repeat.

“Ransom, it’s not a big deal. People make mistake.”

“Look, I’m just a jerk and nothing could justify what I did.”

“It’s just a –“

You shriek as he suddenly lifts you up. He brings you on the bed and starts kissing you. It goes from your temple, deep and soft on your lips, your neck, and behind your ear.

“Let me properly apologize and give you my present.” He whispers in your ear. “I can guarantee it’s the best present you ever had.”

Despite the moment, he never leaves his cocky self. But you are too overwhelmed to be bothered by that. He knows every spot on your body as he explores it with his lips. Waves of pleasure keep washing over you until you feel like you could not take it anymore. But you are wrong. Your body always belongs to him, obeying every single command he gives it.

He holds you close as both of you come down from the high. Ransom reaches the blanket and covers both of you.

“It’s already past midnight, but happy birthday.”

You are too tired to answer him, so you smile and burry your face in his chest.

“I love you”, he whispers.

Your eyes open wide. You give him a surprise look. This is something that you never predict would happen. This is the first time one of you says it.

“What? Too soon?”

“I”, you give him a peck in his lips, “love”, another kiss, “you”, and another one, “too.��

The panic leaves his face as soon as you said it. This might be the best birthday you ever had, falling asleep with him holding you close and repeating the word “I love you” again and again until you fall asleep.

The next morning you wake up at the sound of car horn. You look around and Ransom is not in the bedroom. Peeking out, you see a brand-new car park in front of the yard. He steps out of it and gestures you to go down. You grab one of his sweater and rush downstairs.

“Happy Birthday.” He tosses the car key to you. You can see the smirk in his face. Cocky rich bastard.

“I don’t even know how to drive, asshat!”

“That’s how you say thanks?”

“What do you expect me to do?”

“Well, we haven’t tried it in a car, have we?”

[paperpocalypse]

white rabbit.

50 Wordless Ways to Say “I Love You”: 2. Tucking the sheets around them when they stir during the night.

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1,874 words

Warnings: Swearing, panic attack

His idiot siblings are going to give him a goddamn aneurysm.

The hum of the Commission briefcase – which is now in 2019 without a single person attached to it – rings in Five’s ears, mocking. He resists the urge to scream and tear all of his hair out. All that work – wasted!

“Now what?” Luther asks as Five paces up and down the alley.

What do you think, you doorknob? “Now nothing, Luther, all right? Make your peace with God.”

“What? What about Allison and Vanya?”

“Screw them both. They should have been here.” Five’s irritated pacing turns into a run, and he furiously kicks a cardboard box. God, the alley smells like vomit and shit. Everything is shit! “Ugh!”

“What about Diego?” Klaus slurs out his two cents from his place on the ground. Useless puke bag. “He's quite a responsible young man, no?”

“Something must’ve happened to them,” says Luther.

Fuck that. Wherever they are, they’ll be dead soon enough. Does nobody understand that? Dead! Dead! Dead!

“Screw Diego, all right? Screw everybody!” Five seethes. “[Y/n] and I were better off in the apocalypse.”

He turns on his heel, trying to suppress the rising panic in his bones. Something catches his arm.

Your brow is furrowed when he meets your gaze, mouth set in a thin, worried line. “Five,” you murmur, voice soft.

A tiny sting of regret worms its way into his chest at your expression. But then he thinks of the briefcase, and the Handler, and he quickly looks away.

“Five!” Luther admonishes, casting you a concerned glance. “Come on.”

His brother’s tone grates on the last of Five’s nerves. Gritting his teeth, he advances on the large man. Your hand slips away.

“You know what, Luther? It's every sibling for himself now.” Five throws his arms out in a grand gesture, then makes his way over to the door. “How ’bout that?”

Yanking the door open, he storms into the building.

Five tries to think as he stomps up staircase after staircase, but he can’t hold onto a thought for more than a few seconds before it disappears into a muddle of static. Concentrate. He just needs to get to the flat and think of a new plan, yeah, again, and try to save the world for the millionth fucking time – he stumbles over a step and then rights himself, legs numb. His chest feels tight. Come on. Keep moving. Think, think! God!

You’re calling his name. He doesn’t answer.

There is another way. A Hail Mary. But what if they waste that last chance too?

He swears underneath his breath, heart pounding. Blood roars in his ears. He tightens his grip on the railing and tries to even out his breathing.

Shit. Now is not the time. He needs to get out of this stairwell. Everything is so cramped and it’s not helping at all –

“… Five.”

You’re behind him, and then you’re in front of him, and Five meets a blurry set of eyes for the second time. Breathe. Breathe.

“Do you want to go back outside?” you ask softly.

No more stairs. “Flat,” he manages to reply, gesturing messily at the door a few feet away. Just somewhere with some space. In. Out.

You nod.

Several minutes later, he’s sitting on the bed in the room that Elliott had given him, blazer folded over the footboard, face damp with sweat and tucked into the crook of your neck as he completely breaks down.

Your hands treat him gently, rubbing circles into his back and wiping his face. He grips your shirt until his knuckles are white.

“You can get through this,” you say to him. “Just breathe with me, okay?”

Five tries. He really does. A shudder wracks his body. You inhale. He inhales. Exhale. Exhale.

“Good job.”

Something wet runs down his cheek. Fuck.

Both relief and shame fill him when you dry his cheek with your sleeve.

It’s absolute shit, however long it lasts – Five doesn’t know how long. Too long. But you’re there the whole time, holding him like you’ve done before, and it helps even though he’s too embarrassed to admit as much. You help a lot.

As the hammering in his chest finally slows to dull thuds, he takes in another deep, slow breath, and loosens his grip.

“I’ll get you some water?” you ask. He moves his head in some semblance of a nod. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

Carefully, you detach yourself from him; the mattress creaks as you stand up and leave. Five swallows, staring down at his hands. The air feels slightly chilly on the side of his face that had been pressed against you, and he uses the comforter to quickly scrub away the dampness. His eyes ache.

You return soon enough with a glass of cold water. He sips slowly at first, then gulps the rest of it down. You put the empty glass onto the nightstand and brush his hair away from his eyes.

“You need to rest.”

The word brings a brief wave of longing. Then stress follows soon after, and Five steels himself. “I need to come up with another plan,” he mutters.

Even though he’s not looking at you, he feels the sudden burn of your gaze as you put your hands on his shoulders. “After you rest.”

“The apocalypse –”

“Is still a few days from now.” Your words take on a honeyed, coaxing tone. “There’s not much else we can do today, so sleep. Please. I’ll take care of things while you’re away.”

You press down, and despite his previous protest, Five doesn’t resist.

“… Thanks,” he vaguely hears himself mumble.

When his head touches the pillow, it feels as if all his muscles give way. His eyelids immediately feel heavy.

The last thing he’s aware of is you taking off his shoes.

—

Five is thoroughly conked out by the time you pull the blankets over him, and after giving his forehead a tender peck, you tiptoe out of the bedroom and shut the door with a quiet sigh.

Now on to business.

The rest of the Hargreeves siblings, as well as Sissy and Harlan Cooper, sit up slightly as you stride into the living room. You make a point of looking at each one of them individually, cross your arms, and then speak.

“I believe explanations are in order.”

Diego is the one who speaks first. “I ran into Lila,” he says, maintaining eye contact with you. “She tried to drag me to the Commission while I was burying Elliott.”

“I see,” is all you say. “Allison?”

“Some men came in and attacked Ray and me at the house,” she explained. “Otherwise, I would have been on time.”

“Did you kill them?”

“I made them leave.”

“All right. Vanya?”

“Carl called the police to stop us on the way here. I had to deal with them.”

Sissy and Harlan are not supposed to be here. Based on the hard look Vanya is giving you, she knows that. You close your eyes and breathe out softly.

“All right. Well, I can’t change the past, and the briefcase is already lost, so I’m not going to shout about how everything should’ve gone,” you eventually tell them, eyebrows drawn. “I just want to talk to you about Five.”

“What's wrong with him?” Diego asks.

Klaus answers for you. “He’s pissed.”

Luther agrees solemnly. You frown.

“He’s stressed. Yes, he’s angry, but he’s mostly stressed and worried sick.” You uncross your arms. “Do you know what he did to get that briefcase?”

The siblings blink at you.

“He assassinated the board of directors,” you say. “I know you don’t know much about the Commission, but what he did was a big deal and very dangerous. And he did it for you. He does everything for you, because you’re his family, and he cares about you.”

“He has a hard time showing us,” Diego mutters.

“And you guys seem to have a hard time showing him,” you return. “It just … it feels like you see the apocalypse as Five’s problem. And maybe mine as well, but not yours. I understand that you’ve had to adapt and make a life here, but none of you except for Sissy and Harlan belong in this time. Whatever we’ll have to do from now on will require all of us to stay together. We can’t risk another doomsday.”

“Doomsday?” Sissy speaks up, alarmed. “What’s this about a doomsday?”

Vanya shifts. “It’s …” She touches Sissy’s hand gently. “It’s kind of a long story. I’ll tell you later, okay? You and Harlan don’t have to worry about it. We’ll fix it.”

“We will,” you confirm, nodding at the pair. “As long as everyone does what they’re supposed to.”

Luther looks at you curiously. “Why are you telling us all of this and not Five?”

Why, indeed. Glancing back in the direction of the bedroom, you think of Five tucked away in bed for the first time since he landed in Dallas. Hopefully, he hasn’t snuck out. You’ll have to check on him soon.

“He’d be too stubborn to admit it. It took me a long time to find out how much he sacrificed to help me in the apocalypse. And the Commission.” You smile frankly. “What’s more, he’s resting now. It’s been a long two weeks.”

“Shit,” Klaus mutters. “I forgot about the time thing. The old man must be one apocalypse away from a heart attack.”

“Yes. He’s not invincible.”

Everyone looks down awkwardly.

“We’re sorry for not making it. We didn't know. And we’ll tell him that.” Allison folds her hands tightly in her lap. “So what do we do now?”

Again, not much. Shrugging, you gesture to the couches and chairs that they’re sitting on. “Rest. Get cleaned up. Five and I will need to explore our options once he’s awake.”

With that, you turn and start making your way back to the guest room.

Vanya’s tentative voice stops you when you’re halfway through the kitchen. “Let us know when he wakes up?”

The other siblings voice their agreement. A genuine smile touches your lips. “I will,” you answer, pleased.

The murmuring in the living room fades as you continue walking. When you reach the bedroom, you gingerly open the door and poke your head inside.

Five is exactly where you had left him, tucked in with the blankets up to his chin and dead to the world. Soft snores reach your ears as you creep closer. Good. Seating yourself at the edge of the mattress, you run your fingers through his hair.

For the rest of the evening and most of the night, you watch over Five, keeping quiet and re-tucking the sheets around him whenever he stirs. He doesn’t open his eyes once. His siblings drift in occasionally, individually or in pairs, each of them looking every bit like they’re entering a lion’s den until you smile and beckon them closer. None of them speak, but they don’t need to. You can only hope that Five won’t be too angry with them in the morning.

A lot of work will need to be done then. But for now, your partner needs to sleep.

[firefly-in-darkness]

Go For Broke

Pairing → Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Characters → Brief mentions of Knives Out characters (maybe?)

Summary → A little bet has big consequences.

Word Count → 2.7k

Warnings → 18+, Swearing, Smut, Angst

Betas → @kalesrebellion // all mistakes are my own.

Prompts → Bee's 7K of the Week Challenge; Monday - Ransom Drysdale, Tuesday - Smangst, Friday - Work Function, Saturday - The Dating Bet, (a blink of a praise kink for Sunday).

AFG2021 Square Fill→ "I said 'be sexy', not be a fucking blowfish" @anyfandomgoesbingo

A/N → As I mentioned above, this is for @negans-lucille-tblr writing challenge - congrats on 7k baby!! (I even kept it under 3k for you it wasn't going to be!) This is my first time writing for Ransom, and it doesn't have any connection to Knives Out, it's an AU.

As always, comments and reblogs are appreciated💕

Firefly’s Masterlist

You carried two steaming mugs of coffee and nudged the ajar door open with your foot to Ransom’s office. He had leant back on the large leather chair and was taking in the views through the floor to ceiling windows.

He spun round in his chair and you were hit with the scent of his cologne, it had your stomach fluttering with butterflies. His legs parted wide, and the sight was something to behold; the thickness of his thighs and the way his large hand rubbed the top of one.

It was never going to happen between you two. He was Ransom Drysdale, a well-known playboy and skirt chaser. And you, you were his assistant.

He wasn’t the type of man you were after. You wanted someone permanent, someone, that wasn’t just a fuck buddy. But at least you got a little something for the spank bank every now and then.

“Like what you see?” You were caught red-handed by his crystal blue eyes and the lopsided smirk that you adored.

You brought the iPad in front of him to life, “This is your schedule for today. Harlan said that he’s rescheduled the board meeting with Walt to next week so we can relax a little bit. Said there was something to do with taking a risk or gamble?”

Ransom’s head snapped up, and his tongue darted out across his lip, a nervous tick that you’d long ago discovered. You felt a warmth bloom at your core and tried to hide the way your thighs nestled together to ease the growing heat.

Ransom scooted backwards in his chair and announced, “I need to get out of here.”

“You’ve just arrived, you can’t play hooky, you’re the boss.” You protested.

“That’s exactly why I can,” Ransom asserted and pulled his coat back on. “Let’s get lunch at that diner we went to last month. It’s quiet and nobody knows me there.”

You had become used to the whirlwind that Ransom brought with him the second he entered a room, but this was different. He seemed on edge rather than angry and you weren’t sure what had happened in the ten minutes you were away making a coffee.

“But I just made us coffee.” You pouted at him; he knew that you needed that delicious nectar.

“I’m buying lunch now get your coat,” Ransom demanded.

You rolled your eyes and did what you were told, much to your chagrin.

Ransom had driven like a mad man in his classic beamer to get you to Ruby’s Diner in record time. You scolded him once or twice when he just missed the red lights. But he didn’t seem to relax like he usually did when he entered.

All was forgiven when the waitress placed two steaming plates of burgers and milkshakes on the table. You were in heaven and thanked the waitress as you dunked a chip in the sauce.

“What is wrong with you today?” You asked.

“What are you talking about? I’m just being my usual self.” Ransom shook his head and threw the raggedy napkin across the table away from him.

You remained silent and continued to eat, allowing him to stew over whatever it was that was eating at him. It didn’t take you long to demolish your lunch, but Ransom still hadn’t touched his food. All he had done since you told him off was chew on his lip and glared at the sugar dispenser.

“Okay, seriously, you need to start talking.” You challenged.

He sighed and dragged a hand down his face, “Okay, but you can’t freak out.”

“What did you do?” Your eyes went wide as your mind ran wild with all the crazy things that he could possibly do in the last twenty-four hours.

Ransom looked up at you and laughed, “I can’t take you seriously right now.”

“What?” You frowned, feeling a mixture of confusion painted across your features.

His hand gripped your chin and his thumb swiped away at the sauce that you’d long forgotten. The heat on your cheeks grew tenfold and you coughed when he hadn’t removed his hand from your jaw.

“Ah yeah sorry. Sauce.” He stammered.

You smirked, you’d never seen him this worked up before, what had gotten into him, “So?”

“Okay, don’t fucking freak out on me but someone in the office wanted to make a bet with me. About you.”

You stared at him, all of your thoughts emptied out into the diner, “I’m sorry, what? I think you need to say a bit more than that.”

Ransom explained how one of your co-workers approached him and placed a bet that he wouldn’t be able to bed you before the corporate summer party.

“Who the fuck was it?” You growled; hands clenched on the edge of the seat.

“I’m not telling, I don’t want you to start a fight. You’re my favourite pers-assistant.” Ransom shook his head and began to nibble on the fries. His face screwed up at the realisation they were cold.

“Hold on. You agreed, didn’t you?” Your heart raced.

“I did. I have a reputation to uphold.” He smirked, “and was worth it, you should see your face right now.”

You scowled harder, “how much was the bet?”

“Ten thousand.” He shrugged.

“Fuckin’ hell Ransom, you’re cocksure, aren’t you?” You laughed at him, “why did you accept it?”

“That’s loose change to me.” Ransom shrugged and brought the replaced milkshake to his lips, tongue curling around the straw.

“Fine, I’ll do it. But I want half.” You explained, mirroring his action with your own milkshake.

Ransom choked on his drink and quickly rushed out his words, “you what?”

“We aren’t having sex, Ransom.” You rolled your eyes and placed the drink down, “If they ask, I’ll just say we did. It keeps your reputation intact. No harm, no foul.”

“They want proof.” He raises his eyebrow.

“Fuck sake, okay. Come over to mine tomorrow night and we’ll take some fake dirty pictures.” Without waiting for a response, you stepped out of the booth, “Now, I do have some work to do and funnily enough, so do you.”

“Anyone would think you were the boss.” Ransom playfully sulked and placed some money on the table.

“I might as well be.” You gestured towards the door, “Move it.”

The black baby doll was just perfect for this photo session. It was a little see-through, but your modesty was covered with the lace detailing skimming the tops of your thighs. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach, but you had to get this over with sooner or later. With one final look in the mirror, you steeled your nerves and opened the bathroom door and slowly walked to your bedroom.

“Hello,” You anxiously stuttered, “Where do you want me?”

Ransom’s eyes darkened at the sight of you, his large hands rubbing along his thick thighs, just the way you had admired yesterday. You internally berated yourself, this wasn’t sex. It was all fake. It was an easy win for you both - Ransom kept his reputation and you got a nice little pot of gold for a rainy day, or week.

“Just lay down on the bed and look sexy.” He commented, unhelpfully.

You nodded and shuffled around until you found a comfortable position, with your arms draped above you. It didn’t feel sexy, it felt awkward and uncomfortable. Why is this so hard? You took a deep breath and tried to relax your body and turned to face Ransom. He’d moved the left side of the bed, his phone in hand ready to take the shot.

“Ready?” Ransom asked, and you thought you saw a sparkle of sincerity in his eyes with his one worded question.

“Yes,” you said and gave him your best pout and ‘fuck me’ eyes.

“I said ‘be sexy’, not be a fucking blowfish.” Ransom snapped.

You bolted up from your position, kneeling on the edge of the bed to get back on his level but it was no use, the man was still towering over you, “I’m trying, I’m not exactly in the mood.”

Ransom raised his brow from above, and you hadn’t quite realised how close you were to him, his stomach mere inches from your chest. The lack of response grated on you, his face was irritating, and you were ready to shove the five grand up his ass.

“Actually, this could work.” Ransom pulled off his shirt and revealed the tight muscles. Your anger morphed into desire; you wanted to reach forward and touch him but kept your hands refrained at your sides. “Now, look up at me and bite your lip.”

“Perfect.” He smiled down at you and cupped your face. His thumb stroked the apple of your cheek and paired with his words; a shiver ran down your spine.

Instinctively, you bit down your lip and unbuckled his belt to the sound of the camera shutter. Hands traced Ransom’s abdomen and he sucked in a breath as you stroked a sensitive spot.

“Sorry,” you mumbled and looked up at him, “maybe we should have some photos where your face is in it too?”

Ransom didn’t need to be asked twice, he pulled down his chinos and exposed his thick muscular thighs. Your mouth watered and warmth bloomed in your tummy at the sight of the black Calvin Klein’s hugging his groin.

You rearranged your position to lie down amongst the sheets while Ransom crawled onto the bed to kneel between your legs. His hand cupped under your knee and hoisted one of them up to his hip.

“You might need to take this one,” he handed the phone to you.

Just as you went to take the photograph, Ransom’s other hand slid underneath the baby doll. It sent another wave of pleasure through your body. His smooth hands stooped just beneath your breast and it almost made you whimper. Almost.

With an attempt to gather your bearings, you decided to focus on his phone and snap a few pictures of this new position. But seeing those little images captured and whizz into the corner made you want more. There was no point denying it as you felt the tell-tale signs of your arousal between your legs. But did Ransom want it?

Ransom moved the sheer material up and lifted your leg higher, over his shoulder. Before you could ask what, he was doing, his body dipped down, his lips so close to pressing against your stomach. Oh god. Your body instantly betrayed you as your hand went straight into his messy short locks eliciting a deep groan from Ransom. His hot breath fanned across your skin, goosebumps raising in its flow.

You took some more pictures, feeling the wetness pooling in your panties, the heat growing and growing up your body. Ransom returned to kneeling and you noticed the prominent bulge in his pants, and you finally got your answer. He did want it.

A mischievous smirk replaced the smile on your lips, “you’ll want to take these.”

You sat up and turned around so that you were kneeling in front of him and giving a great view of your behind. Ransom couldn’t restrain himself, his hands instantly gripped at your hips and pulling you back towards him. He growled and you whimpered as he rutted between your cheeks.

“Ransom, the photos?” You sang out and smirked into the pillow.

“Oh yeah, right.” Ransom spluttered and began to take the photographs from this new position then you heard the soft thud of the phone dropping onto the mattress, “hang on a minute.”

Gracefully, he spun you around and managed to get underneath you to seat you just above his hips. You were entranced by the dark lust-filled eyes that studied your body, following the hands that skimmed along your waist.

His touch sent sparks across the exposed skin of your chest, his fingers toying with the lace trim as they descended the plunging neckline and over your breasts. You rocked against his stomach, giving you just a little bit of pleasure from the friction at your core.

Ransom bolted upright, one arm wrapping around you while his other hand brought you closer until his mouth met yours. The kiss was heated, it pulled you deeper into the need for more, to have him deep inside of you. Ransom’s tongue swiped along your bottom lip, demanding access and you obliged without hesitation.

You’d only thought of him, like this, late at night and alone. It was nothing compared to your wildest fantasies to have him kissing you like this or to feel him hard beneath you. You squirmed to feel him better, but he broke the kiss.

“Sorry,” He panted.

Your stomach plummeted at the thought of him regretting what had barely started, “For what?”

“I shouldn’t have,” Ransom avoided eye contact and ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up even more than you already had done, “we just got carried away.”

“Ransom, if you don’t fuck me right now, I will kick you out.” You raised your eyebrow in a challenge.

He didn’t need to be told twice.

Chatter and laughter filled the gaps of the song blasting through the speakers set up around the roof terrace. The large projector screen reeled through photographs of colleagues, in and out of work, successes in the tabloids and social media. Pool water splashed over the edges with each dive-bomb or flirtatious swish between colleagues. You watched on behind the sunglasses and relished in the sunshine beating down. It was rare to have such perfect weather and you wanted to soak up as much of the rays as you could.

The moment you spotted Ransom talking to a few people over at the bar, you thought now would be the best time to approach him. It had been a few hours since you arrived, and you only last saw him the morning before, and a few weeks since that first night. You both wanted to take things slow, it wasn’t how you expected things to happen but neither of you regretted it.

The nearer you got to the bar, you suddenly felt like everyone’s eyes were on you. Side glances from the Marketing girls, a laugh, and a grimace from a few others. Then you saw Ransom rushing up to you but also looking behind.

Before he reached you, you spun around to the projector and saw a display of all the photos you and Ransom had taken that night. Your stomach dropped, nausea taking over until you were about to collapse on the floor.

Hands gripped your shoulders, spinning you on the spot. You looked at the terrified gaze of Ransom. His lips were moving but your ears buzzed with the hum of blood pumping through. Unable to process what had happened, you tried to escape. To get away from the people that were staring, gawking, at you. At you and Ransom on the screen and then down to the pair by the bar.

“Please talk to me,” Ransom pleaded, “I didn’t know that’s what she was going to do.”

“Did you sleep with her?” You asked, your mind reeling with how this could be a vendetta against Ransom, and you’re caught in the crossfire.

Ransom’s eyes widened, “Yeah, probably a year ago.”

“You fuckin’ idiot. Get out of my way.” You tried to walk past him, but he blocked your path.

“Can I come with you?” He asked face paled.

You scowled, “No. Move.”

Ransom followed you, weaving between the crowds of sniggers and laughter. You could hear him pleading, almost begging for you to stop but you refused. You needed to get out of there and he was making it more difficult.

You skimmed the edge of the pool and Ransom grabbed your bicep, attempting to stop and turn you around. Without a second thought, you spun and shoved him. He fell backwards into the pool with a great splash. It only made you feel good for a split second until he resurfaced.

“Consider this my notice, I quit.” You turned on your heel and left the party, your job and Ransom behind.

The End.

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[ozarkthedog]

Safe Keeping Part 1

Summary: Ransom needs you to hold onto his Pinky Ring.

Pairing: Dark!Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Warnings: NonCon, Abuse of power, Manhandling, Swearing, Ransom being an asshole. 

(The warnings will get worse as the chapters go on.)

Word Count: 1.5+k

Author Notes: I’ve wanted to write something about Ransom and his Pinky Ring for a while now, but couldn’t figure out a good way to go about it. Thankfully, @hurricanerin supplied me with this amazing idea, and my mind just ran with it. Thank you, my love!

Not sure how many parts there will be, so stay tuned. If you want more, leave comments to encourage my ass.

No Beta, all fuck ups are my own.

Reblogs and Likes are amazing! Feedback and comments are encouraged!

You feel Ransom before you see him.

That smug asshole always does this to you. Ever since your first meeting at the Thrombey Mansion, you could never get him to leave you alone. He’d always try to make feel like a child with the condescending comments and quips about your work. How you worked for him and his family. He never left any room for thought that you were below them.

Humming away to yourself, you scrubbed the dishes from this morning’s breakfast. After a few minutes, you glanced up at your reflection in the window and saw Ransom leaning on the refrigerator door, just staring. You gritted your teeth, not in the mood to deal with him today. Why was he even here? Marta took Harlan out for an appointment, and Fran had gone to the store. What could he possibly be doing here other than ogling you in the dress you chose to wore to work today?

Whatever it may be, you put on your work face and play nice.

You looked over your shoulder at him, “Good Morning Hugh. Harlan isn’t here. I can have Marta call you to come back when they get home”. You turn back to the dishes as you hear him clear his throat, “I’m not here to see Harlan.”

You tense up at his words. This can’t be good. Drying your hands off, you turn to face him with your head held high. He saunters over to the island situated between the two of you and leans his hands on the marble top, “I need you do to something for me.” He looks down at you with those brooding blue eyes, making you twist the dish towel nervously in your hands.

“I already have a list of things to do today, Hugh. I won’t be able to help you. I’m sorry.” You somehow were able to respond with stuttering.

Ransom’s eyebrows shoot up. You instantly regret turning him down. He stalks around the corner of the island as you take a step back, wanting as much distance as possible. His devilish smirk made you feel uneasy, looking for a way out, you took a big side step trying to get around the island and out of the kitchen.

Ransom’s hands grab your hips with a harsh grip making you suck in a quick breath and drop the towel. “Ow, Ransom!” You try to shake him off but he crowds your body into the side of the countertop. “Oh, you think I care?” he says mockingly, but continues, “Shhh. Relax.” He gives your hips a good shake, “I just need you to do one small task for me. That’s it. Nothing to be scared of.” But those cold eyes gave him away.

In the toughest voice you could conjure up you snarl out, “Let me go. I don’t work for you, Ransom.”

His faces twitches at your response to calling him Ransom. He didn’t like that one bit.

Suddenly, he grabs your jaw harshly, his fingers leaving light indents from his nails along your skin. You reach for his wrists frantically trying to pry his hands away. Tugging your face to his, he growls out, “Listen, because I’m only going to say this once. You work for my family, so that means you work for me. So, you’re going to do exactly what I say, or you’ll end up on the streets with a black mark to your name. You won’t be able to work ever again.”

Your eyes start to water. You knew what he threatened you with was true. His family was powerful, there would be no way you could get out of this without consequences.

Lowering your eyes, body slumping in defeat, you mutter out, “Ok, Hugh.” He smiles down at you, letting his hand slip your jaw to your shoulder. “There we go, that’s better.”

You tried to move, but he wasn’t having it. He held you against the counter top with his body making you realize just how big he is compared to your smaller body.  

He angels your chin up so he can get your full attention. He really doesn’t like having to repeat himself.

He raises his other hand, the one that donned the Pinky Ring he was so fond of. It was level with your face, as he removes his hand from your chin to slowly take the ring off.

“I need you to hold on to this for me. Now, I need you to be extra careful with it since you know how precious it is to me.” He says like he’s talking to a child. You study him quietly. With Ransom there is always a catch.

You raise your palm up to accept the ring, “Sure, I’ll keep a hold of it in my pocket.”

He tuts at you and retracts the ring, “I think there is a better spot for something so special to me. Don’t you agree?”

Furrowing your brow in confusion.

He lowers his voice, to a level that makes you shudder, “I want you to put my ring in your cunt.”

Your heart stops, eyes going wide at his command, you gasp out, “You cannot be serious.”

He stands at his full height, he couldn’t contain his smirk, “Oh but I am. You’re going to keep my ring nice and safe inside that cunt of yours. All. Day. Long.”

“But-“ you try to argue even there was no point. Ransom always won.

A single finger lands on your lips hushing you, “No. No, buts, you know that.” Blue eyes staring into yours as he keeps on, “All day. That’s the end of it.”

He pulls his finer away from your lips and holds the ring out in this palm. You shift on your feet, feeling so nauseous. There would be no way out. He was determined to make you do this.

You grasp the ring between your fingers. It feels heavier than you thought it was. Sighing out, you go to move around him, but he stops you with two hands on your small shoulders, “Where do you think you’re going?” he says firmly.

You look at him with disbelief. He wants you to put the ring inside yourself, in front of him.

“Hugh-“ You started to cry. You didn’t want him to see you this way, but you broke. You broke so easily, it disgusted you.

“Do it.” He states and drags you to a chair from the island for you to sit on.

He stands in front of your shaking form and just waits for you to obey.

Looking at the ring in your fingers, and then to him you struggle to take a breath. Shutting your eyes, you try to go somewhere else. Your inner monologue keeps yelling at yourself to get this over with. He will have his fun now, and that’s it. It’ll be over.

“Ah, wait. Eyes open and on me.” He commands leaning on the fridge, yet again with an air of arrogance you’ve come to know too well.

You bite your tongue to keep from saying anything else that’ll upset him. Feeling dread wash over you as you lift your legs up, the dress material sliding down to your hips revealing your black cotton underwear.

You lift your eyes to Ransom for one last time, pleading for a way out. He only stares back, cold and unsympathetic, no escape. You grab your panties and shift them to the side as you hear him let out a low moan. Your pussy lips were pushed tightly together in the position you were in, leaving Ransom to move his hand down to his jeans and adjust his straining bulge.

Acting quickly, you shoved the ring into your pussy without so much as a thought. Wanting this act to be done with so you could go about your dreadful day. It slipped in, already feeling heavy and solid. It’s small enough that you have to keep clenching so it won’t slip out.

“There. Are you happy?” you blurt out at him shoving your dress down over your thighs standing up. “Almost”, Ransom towers over your body in an instant, grabbing your panties before ripping them at the sides. You feel the elastic snap against your skin and yell out. In shock, you watch as he folds your panties up in his hands.

“I’ll be keeping those.” He winks at you and puts your destroyed underwear in his pants pocket.

“Oh, and I’ll be hanging around with Harlan today, so I’ll be able to check to make sure you’re doing what you what I asked of you.” His eyes intense and harsh. “And If you know what’s good for you, you won’t let that fall out.” He says in a no-nonsense tone.

He turns on his heel and yells out over his shoulder, “Better get to work” as you hear him walk further away into the house.

The tears you had been holding back now flowed freely. Sucking in a breath, you tried to calm yourself down, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of trepidation at what was to come.

[fatbottombucky]

Three’s Company *Ransom Drysdale x Reader*

Summary: M!Reader’s girlfriend, Ella, wants a threesome. After discovering it’s going to be with another dude you set some ground rules, a clear rule being “no gay shit!”. Despite not being gay, yourself and Ransom find yourselves intently wanting Ella to be gone throughout the fucking. 

Pairings: Male!Reader x Female Original Character/ Ransom Drysdale x Male!Reader / Ransom Drysdale x Female Original Character

Rating: [+18] Explicit 

Warnings: Internal homophobia. Threesome shenanigans, female and male oral-giving and receiving. degrading talk. Swear words. Two men wanting to fuck one another, but they can’t cause of their internal homophobia. 

Word Count: 2854

Note: There’s nothing against gays in this, lmao I am gay. It’s just mostly reader and ransom wanting to fuck but being like “we shouldn’t cause we’re straight! But I am going to look directly into his eyes as this girl sits on my dick!” 

“When you said threesome I expected another female to be joining us,” you exasperated. 

It was only a week ago when your girlfriend of eight months had propositioned you with the idea of a threesome. It had caught you off guard, nonetheless you agreed wholeheartedly. You weren’t a guy to shy away from sex adventures, you’ve seen and done plenty with women. 

It’s what made Daniella, or Ella to you, so interested in you. You aren’t exactly in her social class, she comes from old money and has a trust fund, whereas you come from- well, no money and you work everyday of your life just to scrape by. You’ve often had the thought she’s only with you to rebel against her family, bringing you along to social gatherings to cause a fuss. It’s whatever. She’s beautiful and nice, so you’re willing to go along because, hey, you’re not alone then. 

What caught you off guard was the third member she wanted, a male. You expected one of her high-class girlfriends, they’ve always had a keen interest in your relationship with Ella. Wondering why she’d be with you and for so long. 

“Hell, no.” Ella grimaces like the thought of kissing another girl is repulsive, “I’d prefer to have another guy having their way with me.” 

There’s a glint in her eyes, a playfulness. Her fluttering lashes normally work on you but not this time. 

You’re apprehensive. The photo of the man in question serves him well; sharp jawline, piercing blue eyes and a wicked smirk, he oozes some sinful confidence that you severely lack. Who even is this guy? Where did she even meet him? Had this guy been the reason all along for the threesome to be brought up? 

“Ransom Drysdale,” Ella smirks and flicks her eyes back to her phone, the picture still blindly on display. You almost snap the steering wheel off, deciding to focus on driving her Audi through the bustling New York streets. “He’s in New York right now, our families know one another and I’ve always wondered if the rumours are true about him.” 

Great. 

This guy has a reputation and she’s been thinking about it. 

“I don’t know how I feel about another guy fucking you,” you somehow get out and the way she snaps her head to you, well this is going to be a big L in your books. “Or being with a guy in this setting, so what? I thought threesomes are where we all participate but I don’t wanna be with some guy like that.” 

Ella snorts, she’s laughing at you. “How would a girl be any different?” 

“I don’t know, Ella, it just would be different.” 

“That’s so pathetic,” you roll your eyes and just stare at the road ahead, “You don’t have to do anything with him and anything I do with him you’ll be there. In fact, you can say right now if there’s anything you don’t want to happen. I just want two dicks, that’s all.” 

There’s a beat of silence. “Besides Ransom isn’t gay, so he won’t even go near you like that.” 

**

“This is so bizarre,” you muttered and shifted in your seat beside Ella. The restaurant was fancy, super expensive and elite. You had already downed half a glass of red wine-of which you expected cost more than the suit you were wearing. “Why are we getting dinner with him?” 

Ella snickered and rolled her eyes. “Good manners, babe,” voice sweet as she looks at you. 

You’d done some Googling on Drysdale when you got back to the hotel earlier. Whole family is filthy rich due to his grandfather, Harlan, famous murder-mystery writer. You haven’t read any of his books because books are commitments, more so than relationships. 

Ransom’s name pops up in headlines every few weeks; new girls hanging off his arms or some outlandish story being featured on tabloids. 

He’s not the type you’d personally hang out with, then again, Ella isn’t the usual company you keep. 

“Sorry I’m late, Ellie.” You snap your head up as Ella stands up, embracing the well-dressed man. “Traffic was shit. You guys haven’t been here long, right?” 

Yourself and Ella both speak at the same time. “No, of course not.”- “Twenty minutes, actually.” 

You’re gifted a bitchy glare from Ella as you stand up, you’ve never been one to shy away from speaking up. Rich people aren’t an exception to your patience. This makes Ransom smirk at you though, clearly not offended or peeved off by your remark. 

He shakes your hand firmly. “Ransom Drysdale, sure you’ve heard from me.”

“Y/N Y/L/N, honestly, only just learnt who you are today.” The three of you sit down and then you go silent, staring blankly at your glass of wine because what are the rules here? 

Ella had told you she had asked Ransom. So, he knows why the three of you are here. But now what? You order food and eat, wine and dine, then fuck back at the hotel and that’s it. Of course, that’s it. There’s nothing else to do, but you can’t help but think there must be more steps. Some kind of conversation that needs to happen. 

If there is a conversation that needs to happen, it doesn’t happen. Ella and Ransom are deep into conversation about ‘old times’. You sit just drinking and listening, usually how it is in your relationship. You never really have anything interesting to say to the wealthy, mostly because they wouldn’t listen anyway. 

“So Y/N, what do you do?” Ransom’s voice is smooth and deep, his face is illuminated by the candles in the centre of the table. You raise an eyebrow at the causal question, “what? I think it’s better than me asking, why did you agree to let me fuck your girlfriend?” 

You dryly chuckle and take another sip of wine, able to hold off on the question as your meals are placed before you. You contemplate and mull over his questions, either Ella hasn’t told him that you aren’t rich or he knows but wants to goad you into it anyway. 

“Well, I work a lousy job as an accountant and I’m mostly paying off my student loans from university.” Better to be truthful than stupid in front of the rich. “Before you ask, no, I’m not using my degree at this job. I studied for five years to use it for nothing. I’m also agreeing because I’m no prude, done a few things and whilst I’d prefer you be another female, I can sort of see the appeal of two dicks.” 

There’s a few seconds of just silence. Ella is volleying her eyes between you both. Ransom chews his steak slowly, eyes intently watching you and looking you over. It’s intense. You want him to stop, but you don’t look away. 

A smirk spreads across his face and he nods. “We’re going to have fun tonight.” 

**

“Splurged on the room then,” Ransom smirks as he unties his scarf, pulling it off of his neck and throwing it carelessly on the back of the armchair. “Must be nice to have the finer things,” he pats your shoulder roughly and gives you a knowing smile. 

You shrugged, the nerves being knocked away from the liquid courage you guys have consumed. “Can’t complain about the nice rooms we stay in.” You walk over to the minibar and nod, Ransom gives a curt nod. 

Ella scurries off towards the bedroom, a sultry smile of her ‘freshening up’ for the both of you. 

“She’s told you the rules, right?” You asked and poured yourself another drink, Ransom let’s out a light chuckle as he sauntered over to you. You lift an eyebrow in question, “It’s just for… boundaries really, I’m sure you understand.” 

The corner of Ransom’s mouth curls up, bringing the bourbon to his lips and taking a thoughtful sip, he’s standing close to you. Rubbing his shoulder against yours, he smells earthy and expensive, like spicy leather and musky mornings.

“I got your rules, don’t worry.” Placing the tumbler glass down. “More rules about us not doing stuff than me fucking your girl, though.” 

You looked at him hesitantly and quickly looked away, downing your own drink hurriedly. Before you can defend yourself, not that you need to, Ella calls for you both. Standing in the bedroom doorway, hip leaning against the frame and her arms crossed. 

Ella is dressed in nothing but simply lacy lingerie, that you know cost more than your rent. She looks beautiful, the lilac set matches her skin perfectly, hair is styled into a relaxed mused style- so you can play with it, you imagine. 

“Are you boys coming to join me or not?” 

That’s all the invitation you need before you’re walking around Ransom, placing your hands on her hips and pressing your lips to hers softly, she whimpers into your mouth before pulling away. Taking your hand and then extending her other towards Ransom, you chance a glance at the taller man. 

His cock sure smirks makes you look away, taking Ella’s other hand and she pulls you both into the bedroom. The big, soft, luxurious bed would do fine at handling your three bodies. 

You glance stiffly at the white sheets, well, now what? You know what to do when with just Ella but now you’re left in uncharted territory. Turning to look at the both of them once you’re stood in front of the bed, hands getting clammy for some reason. 

“Well, undressed yourselves.” Ella smirks as she sits on the end of the bed with a bounce, crossing one leg over her other, leaning back on her elbows as she looks at them. 

You start to unbutton your shirt, looking over at Ransom to see he was doing the same. You don’t take your eyes off of Ransom as you remove the shirt, letting the pale blue fabric to fall to the floor and then starting on your belt. Ransom begins to do the same, the clanging of his expensive Gucci belt is enough to numb your other senses. 

You're both down to your boxers, both black Calvin Klines. Ella raises an amused eyebrow and allows her legs to fall open. Lifting a hand and crooking a finger in a come hither motion, you follow with little relcultance. Falling to her side and pressing open mouth kisses to her soft neck. One of your hands sneaking up and cupping one of her lacy breasts, squeezing the flesh harshly as you suck at her neck. 

Ella let out a breathy moan, a sharp gasp escaping her at Ransom running his fingers over her clothed pussy. You help her sit up and unclasp her bra, allowing her perky breasts to slip free of the confines. Ransom slips the panties down her long legs before pushing her thighs apart, slotting himself between them. 

For a brief moment you are captivated by him, watching as he languidly licked up her core and wrapped his plump, pink lips wrap around his clit. The moans Ella whines out are white noise, your brows furrow together and you wet your lips. You’re about to look away but Ransom looks up, capturing your eyes in with his deep blue ones. His left eye drops down into a playful wink. 

You break out of his spell and look back at Ella, her eyes are screwed shut and her mouth is open wide, moans and groans leaving her wildly. You’re quick to attach your mouth to her nipples, already pebbled and peaked into hard nubs, lavishing her nipple with your tongue. 

“God, your mouths,” she breathes harshly. 

Time seems to meld as yourself and Ransom tease Ella with your tongues. You tease her nipples and softly bite on them as Ransom pushes two fingers into her and sucks on her clit. You both work in tandem, almost competitively, trying to see who can draw the most noises from her. 

“You sure I’m not allowed to fuck this hole?” Ransom asked punctuating the question with a forceful thrust of his fingers. 

His crude words make you shiver, a smirk pulling up on your mouth as your eyes narrow in delight. He’s asking permission, he certainly seems like the type to just take what he wants, save the consequence for whenever. 

“You think you’ve earned it?” That question throws Ransom off, it even has Ella raising her eyebrows at you but you don’t spare her a glance. Your eyes bore into Ransom’s, unable to look away like the previous times. 

Ransom grabs Ella’s ankle and flips her onto her stomach, tapping her hip and she raises them wordlessly, he gives you a questioning glare. 

“She likes it hard and deep,” you sit up on your knees, a hand softly running through her hair and gripping it tightly, “don’t hold back, Ran. I won’t be,” you pull down your boxers with your other hand and free your straining cock. 

You haven’t felt this hard in a while; you put it down to the fact this is new and exciting. You push the leaking tip into Ella’s waiting mouth, she hums approvingly around your girth. A low groan falls from your lips and you look up in time to see Ransom rid himself of his own underwear. 

A large hand is wrapped around his own cock, rubbing it lazily and, for some reason, you can’t take your eyes off of his member. Seeing him naked has stolen your air away; his whole body is immaculate and strong, truly a vision. 

You shake your head when Ella gags around your length, slowly pulling it out of her before looking up. Ransom had caught you staring at him, but instead of a disgusted look like you thought he’s wearing a curious look. An unreadable look. 

As he pushes in his impressive length he gives you a look, his hands gripping Ella’s hips tightly. The warm caven of Ella’s mouth envelopes you again, you moan loudly but you’re unable to look away from Ransom and he seems to not be able to look away from you either. 

“That’s it,” Ransom grunts as he starts to pound Ella from behind causing her body to jolt, pushing her further onto your cock. 

The force of his thrusting hips and yours into her mouth, using Ella to reach your peaks. Finding a hard and rough rhythm together. A pushing and pulling rhythm. You’re both grunting and groaning, looking into one another's eyes intensely. 

Ella’s whimpers and gagging sounds are numb to your ears, only focused on Ransom. His eyebrows are drawn together, jaw is clenched and his eyes are hard; dark and lust filled. 

“You like that?” The question momentarily makes you stutter, Ransom locked on you but Ella hums in admission. 

It wasn’t directed at her, though. 

You nod once, careful to only groan loudly and not make it seem that it’s going to be Ransom that’ll make you cum. 

“Of course, you do!” Ransom chuckles darkly, thrusting into Ella harder and grinding his cock deep into her, “fucking filthy. Dirty little whore for me, aren’t you?” Again Ella answers in whimpers and spit slicked sounds, but you have Ransom’s attention. 

“Going to cum, I can feel it. Go ahead, fuckin’ cum for me.” 

Your hips stutter deep in Ella’s throat, she gags but groans at the feeling. You cum down her tight throat, copious amounts of cum spurting out of you, a strained growl is yelled from you. Eyes being forced shut at the suddenness of your orgasm. 

Ella greedily swallows every drop, licking your cock clean as you slowly drag it out of her mouth and fall back against the bed. Beads of sweat across your forehead and chest, Ella looks at you and smiles before whining again. Ransom keeps going ramming into her harder and faster, his eyes still scorned onto you. 

You watch as Ella reaches her peak rather quickly after you, trembling under Ransom and whimpering, you sit up and cup her face in your hands. Kissing her softly before pulling away, looking up at Ransom who has his eyes shut before looking down at you. 

“Cum inside of her.” You demand without hesitation and Ransom seems to take it. 

His whole body becoming rigid and spasming, hips stilling inside of Ella as he cums deep within her walls. It’s a few silent seconds of heavy breathing. Till he pulls out and sinks back on his hunches, chest heaving and hair stuck to his forehead. 

Despite the fact you both had such an intimate moment during this, you can’t bring yourself to look at him in the eye now. Knowing you orgasmed because of him, that you likely got hard because of him. 

It’s weird. It’s odd. Ella stretches out on the bed, a low hum of approval to what just happened coming from her. 

“Give me a few minutes and we can change positions and one of you can stick it in my ass.” 

A deep part of you wished she’d fall asleep and it was just yourself and Ransom.

(Let me know what you think!!! So, yeah... I am writing a part 2 where Ransom and Male Reader get some alone time and get to... do some activities ;) but I wanted it to be like this whole weird sexual competitiveness between them with little moments of mxm - Rosalie) 

[interstellarflare]

A Series of Unfortunate Events || Ransom Drysdale

Knives Out (2019)

-PART THREE-

Warnings: Swearing, sexual themes.

Summary: Having recently been hired by Harlan Thrombey as a housekeeper, it was also your job to plan many of the extravagant family gatherings. One particular night, you meet Ransom Drysdale, who is otherwise known as the black sheep of the Thrombey family.

Despite your game of hard-to-get, one manages to end up in the arms of your pursuer via a series of unfortunate events.

Ransom smiled awkwardly stepping passed you into the bathroom with a small sigh. You closed the door behind him, leaning against it as you pressed your lips into a thin line. Ransom turned, extending his sweater towards you. “I thought you might want this, if you’re going back downstairs you might want to put it on” he spoke kindly, raising an eyebrow as he waited for your response.

You stared at him wide-eyed, mouth falling agape in shock. You suddenly felt cold, hugging your arms closer to your body. “I can’t, it’s your sweater-” “I honestly don’t care...” Ransom interrupted quickly, shrugging his shoulders casually “besides, you need it more than me right now”. With a grateful smile, you gingerly took the sweater from his hand, before immediately throwing it on. It was oversized, of course, but it felt warm and snug. It smelt like his cologne, mixed with a hint of leather and pine, altogether a somewhat comforting scent. You rolled up the sleeves to your elbows, burying your head in your hands to hide your flushed cheeks once again. “I’m sorry for bumping into you...” you began, now brushing the messy and champagne-covered ends of your hair away from your face “I was trying to-”

“Has my father done this to you before?” Ransom suddenly questioned, tilting his head the side as his eyes met your own, as he leaned back against the bathroom sink with his arms braced on either side. You suddenly felt nervous, unsure of how to answer his question. Slowly, you nodded, causing a sharp hiss of anger to leave Ransom. “Yes, Richard has done this before...” you began, moving back over to sit down in your original spot “but not like this. Tonight was the first time he’s tried to get handsy”. Ransom’s jaw clenched, breathing heavily through his nose. The bathroom fell into a heavy silence, leaving you feeling very, very awkward. For you, at least, tonight had been a disaster. You had never been more embarrassed in your life. At least you hadn’t spilt all of the drinks in front of the Thrombey family, that would have been a major disaster. You cleared your throat, moving to stand from your seat. “Sorry, I uh...I have to clean up the-” “I’ve already done it, don’t worry about it” Ransom interrupted again, his response taking you surprised.

You gawked at him with a bewildered expression, stopping short before sitting back down once again. “You didn’t have to do that, I made the mess” you reasoned, to which Ransom laughed. The sound of his laughter bounced off the walls, a more pleasant sound than the cackling that drifted upward from downstairs. “I’m a sucker for a damsel in distress, and besides, it wasn’t your fault that you spilt everything”. You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, your embarrassment from earlier suddenly becoming the less prominent feeling. Ransom folded his arms over his chest, looking over your form with a soft expression. “You don’t have to stay here in the bathroom with me, you know” “I need something better to do other than argue with my family, so spending the night in a bathroom isn’t the worst of ideas”. The both of you laughed, before engaging in random and small conversations.

Ransom was an absolute delight. He was nice, kind, overall a true gentleman. He explained that when he was in front of his family, they got on his nerves to the extent where they had branded him as the family arsehole. They pestered him, they laughed at him, they always said he wasn’t good enough. Out of his entire family, it was Harlan that still believed in him. Even though his grandfather always hassled him to take more responsibility for himself, Ransom was glad that someone actually cared. “Harlan always talks about you...” You spoke softly, a warm smile gracing your lips “he wishes you would stop by more often, you now? He see’s enough of Linda and Walt and everyone else, he misses you”. A small smile formed on Ransom’s face, his dazzling blue eyes meeting your own (eye/colour) hues with a deep chuckle. He moved from the bathroom sink, and dawdled over to the window on the other side of the room. “He’s always such a kind old bastard...” He joked, leaning against the windowsill “I wish I could see him more often, but every time I stop by, someone else is always here and it just turns into one big argument”.

You nodded, humming in agreement “Yeah, to be honest and I mean no offence, but your family is kind of...dysfunctional”. Ransom snorted as he laughed, nodding his head in agreement. “You’re not wrong...” he mumbled, “you’ve only worked for Harlan a few months, so I suppose you’ve seen everything this family has to offer”. You nodded, humming lowly as you grinned “Uh huh, I had an interview for the job as housekeeper, and was basically interrogated by you mother and Walt to make sure that I was the right person for the job” You told him, shuddering at the memory as you remembered all of the weird questions they had asked you. It had started off as any normal job interview, and descended from there when they began to argue with each other. “When did you start thinking that this family was dysfunctional?” Ransom questioned, to which you responded “About the time when I planned one of these parties a few months ago and it turned into a loud screaming match between your mother, Walt and Joni about providing money for Meg’s education”.

As the two of you laughed, there was a harsh knock at the bathroom door. You and Ransom fell silent, as a small voice called out from the other side. “Y/n, are you in there? I saw you head upstairs, is everything alright?”. It was Meg. You turned towards Ransom, hoping he would say something, but he just shrugged his shoulders. You rolled your eyes, turning your gaze towards the door. “I’m fine, Meg. I just spilt something on my shirt and I’m trying to clean it up-” “Did you need a hand? I have an extra sweater in my mum’s car you can borrow” She continued, her tone of voice becoming more and more concerned. Before you could respond, Ransom cleared his throat. He moved towards the door in a few swift strides, throwing it open with a sarcastic grin. “Everything is fine, Meg. We’re just talking...” he mused lowly, to which Meg’s expression turned skeptical. I could see her through the doorway, staring up at Ransom with a small glare. Her gaze flickered between the both you, raising an eyebrow as a small challenge. “I didn’t know you were in here...” she mused lowly, “what are you doing?”. “He was helping me dry off!” You mused loudly, perhaps a little too loudly as you joined Ransom by the door, giving Meg an apologetic smile “I may have spilt several glass of champagne all over my shirt and I needed some help cleaning it up”. Meg nodded slowly, her eyes widening as she noticed Ransom’s sweater covering the majority of your form.

“Okay...well...Harlan was looking for you. Marta is downstairs, she has a present for you” she explained, her skeptical expression turning into an amused grin. You groaned “Another one? She does know my birthday isn’t until next Thursday, right?”. She laughed, ignoring Ransom as she stepped forward and looped her arm around your shoulders “Oh she does, but she doesn’t care. She’s just happy that she has someone else to talk to that is around her age here”. As Meg led you downstairs, you heard Ransom’s footsteps following close behind, remaining silent for the entire duration. Marta met you at the bottom of the stairs, smiling brightly as she enveloped you in a tight hug. “Marta, you need to stop with the presents...” you teased “it’s not my birthday yet”. “I know, but I couldn’t help it. I saw something today that I knew you would love” she exclaimed, taking your hand and leading you back into the kitchen.

You stopped short, remembering the mess of the shattered glass and champagne that had been left on the floor, but found that there was one. Ransom had cleaned it up, and you couldn’t stop the warm feeling forming in your chest. There was a large white box sitting on the kitchen bench, tied with a gold ribbon. Anxiously, you carefully removed the ribbon and opened the box, gasping in delight. It was a beautiful crimson lace dress, with thin spaghetti straps and a sweetheart neckline. “It’s beautiful...” you mused dreamily, lifting it out of the box slightly to examine it “You didn’t have to get me this”. Marta waved her hand dismissively, laughing in amusement “You’re my best friend Y/n, you deserve the best” she responded, smiling brightly as you enveloped her in another hug.

“Oh! and I forgot, Harlan wants you to take the rest of the night off. He said that you’ve done enough” she continued, before disappearing back into the living room with the rest of the Thrombey family. You smiled, gawking at the dress with great admiration. In the short time that you had known Marta, she had come to know you well. Often, the two fo you would talk about your lives whenever you weren’t needed by Harlan, or by anyone else around the house. You ran the tips of your fingers over the delicate lace, completely oblivious to the prying eyes coming from an obscured corner of the living room.

There was something about you that Ransom just found so damn interesting. You were too kind, and too compassionate for your own good. You were certainly a kind soul, too kind a soul to be cooped up with the Thrombey family. But his grandfather adored you. Harlan spoke of you often, always saying ‘You must come meet my new housekeeper, Y/n. She’s such a delight, I think you would like her’. Ransom smiled faintly, remembering the conversation with Harlan only last night. And after seeing you cornered by his father, and practically frightened, Ransom was beyond furious. After Harlan offered to let you stay the night, and after you disappeared into one of the upstairs guest rooms, Ransom’s glare never left his father’s form. And he knew it. He could feel Ransom’s glare burning holes into his skull, a feeling Ransom enjoyed thoroughly. 

[buckysbitch107]

Diffuse and Distract | Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Summary: It’s your first 4th of July with your son AND Ransom’s family under the same roof, and to say you’re nervous is an understatement. Ransom is known for his asshole-ish personality, and you’re just really hoping today goes smoothly. Everything seems to be going to plan, but when your son starts throwing a tantrum, you know exactly what to do.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sexual activity

Word Count: 1.7K

A/N: Hope you guys like this one! Sorry if it’s bad, I’m starting this at 3 AM. Classic Y/N trope, hope y’all understand the abbreviations. ~~~ means a time skip, because I’m not writing out every single detail. I don’t do that. But all in all, I hope you enjoy the first actual post on my tumblr!

“Y’know, I could turn the car around right now. Tell them Levi is sick and we wouldn’t have to go.” Ransom mentions, taking his eyes off of the road for only a second to look at you in the passenger seat. His hand lightly squeezes yours, bringing your clasped hands to his lips for a light kiss before setting them back on your thigh. You sigh and move your head, taking your eyes off the beautiful Massachusetts scenery around you to look at your husband.

“Sweetie, I know you hate your family, but Harlan loves Levi, plus he wants to see the fireworks. Isn’t that right, big guy?” You ask, peering at the rear view mirror to see your son excitedly bouncing up and down in his car seat.

“Wanna see the booms!” Levi exclaims, his words causing a soft smile to appear on Ransom’s face. Ransom once again turns his focus back to the road, occasionally looking in the rear view mirror to peek at the head of brown locks Levi inherited from him.

“Do you think he’s gonna like it there? I mean we know he likes Harlan, but what about everyone else?” Your husband whispers, growing a little more antsy as the scenery becomes more and more familiar.

“He’ll be fine. I’m sure they’ll love him, if they don’t already.” You respond, trying to reassure the worrying man next to you. It’s common knowledge that Linda and Richard aren’t exactly the most present grandparents, but you can’t exactly blame them. Harlan on the other hand, has taken his responsibility as great-grandfather to the max, being there every step of the way. You glance down at the ring on your finger, thinking back to the day you vowed to love the man next to you for the rest of your days. All too soon, you pull up to the esteemed Thrombey mansion. Ransom gets out of the car, opening the passenger side door for you like the gentleman he is (sometimes). You open the back door and take Levi out of his car seat, placing him on your hip before the three of you walk inside, dread already filling the back of your mind. Harlan almost immediately greets you, his smile growing a little wider once he sees Levi. The four of you walk outside to the patio, where the rest of the Thrombey/Drysdale family is scattered around the lawn.

“Y/N! So nice to see you!” Linda greets, her smile most likely fake based on her opinions about you. She doesn’t exactly like the fact that her son married someone of your background, whatever that means.

“Nice to see you too, Linda!” You reply, giving her a side hug while trying not to squish your son. She says hi to Levi before returning to her seat under the cabana by Richard, her husband giving you almost the exact same greeting. You sit down at the table next to Ransom, pulling a chair up next to you for Levi to sit in. Ransom strikes up a conversation with his uncle and his father, causing you to only slightly pay attention, most of your focus on the three year old in front of you.

“So Ransom, are you still depending on that trust fund?” Walt asks, obviously wanting to rile up your husband. Ransom just lets out a short laugh and runs his hand down his jaw, obviously not trying to get pissed off.

“Not anymore. I actually have a job at an international accounting firm in Boston. When I do use the trust fund money, it’s either for Levi or Y/N.” Walt is obviously surprised by this answer. As you wait for Walt’s response, Levi starts getting a little antsy, so you let him out of the chair to play with the dogs. They always get him passed out by 8 pm.

“That’s all it took huh? A dumb piece of arm candy pops out a kid and all of a sudden you’re Mr. Responsible?”

“Listen here you little-” Ransom is cut off when your elbow digs into his ribs, an obvious sign for him to shut up. His head snaps towards you where you are silently nodding your head towards the small child who stands only a few feet away from the conversation. Your husband sighs before leaning back in his chair, already predicting what’s going to happen. Walt has a smug grin on his face, as if he feels he’s won something. He doesn’t know who he messed with. Levi waves at you before running after the dogs, and once he’s out of earshot, you explode.

“Listen here you little piece of shit. I don’t know what your problem is with me, but here’s the deal. I am NOT arm candy. I did not work my way through high school, getting a bachelor’s degree AND getting a master’s degree for someone who relies on their own father’s company for money to call me dumb. I don’t know what world you live in, but not many women like being called arm candy. And as a matter of fact, I-” You would continue, if it weren’t for the almost inaudible whine coming from the grill area of the patio. “Excuse me.” You stand up and walk over to the small outdoor kitchen area, finding your son on the verge of tears. He’s standing next to the counter, his focus on the whole watermelon sitting next to the sink.

“Mama-” He whines, pointing at it. You squat down, Levi slightly calming down once you’re on his level. Tears form in his eyes, and it's evident that a tantrum is on the horizon. You think of the method you’ve used on him before and immediately put it into action, hoping he doesn’t start screaming.

“You want the watermelon?” Levi simply nods and you smile a bit, the plan already working. “Well the watermelon isn’t cut yet, so we have to wait.” The realization that he isn’t getting what he wants when he wants kicks in, and his legs start to wobble as he whines more. Just like his father.

“But mamaaaaa.” He cries, drawing a little more attention to the two of you.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.” You whisper, wiping the tears off his cheeks. “There’s no need for tears. Are you hungry?” He nods and an idea pops in your head. “Why don’t we go get you some other food, and when Grandpa cuts the watermelon, we can get you some, okay?” Levi hiccups again before responding.

“Okay mama.” You stand up and grab his hand, leading him to the table full of classic 4th of July foods. Harlan immediately gets to work on cutting the watermelon, and you shoot him a short “thank you” over your shoulder. You pick Levi up, placing him on your hip in order for him to see all the food.

“Do you want a hamburger?”

“No.”

“Do you want a hot dog?” Your son thinks for a second before nodding, making you internally smile. You grab him a hot dog and some chips before walking over to the table. Unbeknownst to you, both Ransom and Walt were watching that entire interaction, and as you set Levi down in a chair with his cut up hot dog, you hear Walter whisper something.

“I’ve gotta admit, she’s a good mom.” A large smile appears on Ransom’s face as you walk over to the little kitchen area, coming back with a plate of watermelon for the three of you to share.

“She really is. I don’t know what I’d do without her.” Ransom whispers, watching his son eat all of his food before asking to go play again. You nod and once Levi leaves, Ransom turns to you with a look of awe on his face. “So how’d you do it?”

“Do what?” You ask, eating a piece of watermelon.

“Get him to not throw a tantrum.”

“I used a tactic called Diffuse and Distract.”

“Please explain.” Walt comments, honestly intrigued by how you did it. You let out a laugh before explaining your “mystical ways” as Ransom calls it.

“Toddlers aren’t exactly the best at explaining their emotions. So you have to think on their level. They want something. They can’t have that something. You have to explain the situation calmly, to diffuse the chance of a temper tantrum. Then you can provide other options to distract them until what they want is available, or until they forget about it.” You pause, stifling a laugh. “I use it on him all the time.” You point at Ransom, both you and Walt erupting into laughter.

“Wait what? When?!” Ransom exclaims.

“Literally today. You were whining about how you didn’t want to come today, so I explained that Levi really wants to see the firework to diffuse your tantrum, then I suggested that we talk about another kid when we got home so you wouldn’t be a big baby about going.” Ransom simply huffs at your statement, popping a piece of watermelon in his mouth while sending you a glare.

~~~

“Are you sure he’s gonna be okay?” Ransom questions, the three of you sitting on the grass waiting for the fireworks to start.

“He’s gonna do great, babe. He handled the thunderstorm on Sunday pretty well, I’m sure he’ll handle the fireworks well too.” Your husband simply nods and the fireworks begin, the sky illuminated in reds, blues, purples, greens, oranges, whites and yellows. Levi’s mouth is stuck open in awe as he looks up at the sky, the sight amazing him to his heart’s content. You and Ransom look at each other proudly, silently wondering how you got so lucky with such an amazing son.

~~~

“Oh yeah, he’s passed out.” You whisper, turning your head to face forward once again. Ransom’s hand rests on your thigh, a common occurrence when you two drive together. The ride home is mostly silent, Levi’s snores being the main noise in the car. The three of you arrive home and get out of the vehicle, Ransom carefully carrying your son to his bedroom. You tuck him in, giving him a kiss on his forehead and turning on his nightlight before sneaking out the door, quietly shutting it so as to not wake him. You turn around and run straight into Ransom’s chest, a sly grin resting on his face.

“So about that second kid.”

Permanent Tags: @wintersoldierslut @breakmy-bedbarnes @stuckys-hot-dogs

Please let me know if you have any requests! As I’ve mentioned, nothing is too fluffy, angsty, smutty, or gorey for me. I mainly write Marvel and its characters/actors. I can also write some characters from other things, you just have to ask! Also please let me know if you want to be a part of the Permanent Tags! But please, for now,

Call me Emily

[aion-rsa]

The Star Trek: The Original Series Episodes That Best Define the Franchise

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By the time my generation got to watch Star Trek: The Original Series, the episodes often were being presented in top-ten marathons. When I was ten-years-old, for the 25th Anniversary of Star Trek, I tape-recorded a marathon of ten episodes that had all been voted by fans as the best-ever installments of The Original Series. Later, I got lucky and found Trek stickers at the grocery store and was able to label my VHS tapes correctly. But do I think all the episodes that were in that marathon back in 1991 were really the best episodes of all of the classic Star Trek? The short answer: no. Although I love nearly every episode of the first 79 installments of Star Trek, I do think that certain lists have been created by what we think should be on the list rather than what episodes really best represent the classic show. 

This is a long-winded way of saying, no, I didn’t include “Amok Time” or “The Menagerie” on this list because, as great as they are, I don’t think they really represent the greatest hits of the series. Also, if you’ve never watched TOS, I think those two episodes will throw you off cause you’ll assume Spock is always losing his mind or trying to steal the ship. If you’ve never watched TOS, or you feel like rewatching it with fresh eyes, I feel pretty strong that these 10 episodes are not only wonderful, but that they best represent what the entire series is really about. Given this metric, my choice for the best episode of TOS may surprise you…

10. “The Man Trap” 

The first Star Trek ever episode aired should not be the first episode you watch. And yet, you should watch it at some point. The goofy premise concerns an alien with shaggy dog fur, suckers on its hand, and a face like a terrifying deep-sea fish. This alien is also a salt vampire that uses telepathy that effectively also makes it a shapeshifter. It’s all so specifically bonkers that trying to rip-off this trope would be nuts. Written by science fiction legend George Clayton Johnson (one half of Logan’s Run authorship) “The Man Trap” still slaps, and not because Spock (Leonard Nimoy)  tries to slap the alien. Back in the early Season 1 episodes of Star Trek, the “supporting” players like Uhura and Sulu are actually doing stuff in the episode. We all talk about Kirk crying out in pain when the M-113 creature puts those suckers on his face, but the real scene to watch is when Uhura starts speaking Swahili. The casual way Uhura and Sulu are just their lovable selves in this episode is part of why we just can’t quit the classic Star Trek to this day. Plus, the fact that the story is technically centered on Bones gives the episode some gravitas and oomph. You will believe an old country doctor thinks that salt vampire is Nancy! (Spoiler alert: It’s not Nancy.)

9. “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield” 

There are two episodes everyone always likes to bring up when discussing the ways in which Star Trek changed the game for the better in pop culture’s discourse on racism: “Plato’s Stepchildren” and this episode, “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield.” The former episode is famous because Kirk and Uhura kiss, which is sometimes considered the first interracial kiss on an American TV show. (British TV shows had a few of those before Star Trek, though.) But “Plato’s Stepchildren” is not a great episode, and Kirk and Uhura were also manipulated to kiss by telepaths. So, no, I’m not crazy about “Plato’s Stepchildren.” Uhura being forced to kiss a white dude isn’t great.

But “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield,” oddly holds up. Yep. This is the one about space racism where the Riddler from the ‘60s Batman (Frank Gorshin) looks like a black-and-white cookie. Is this episode cheesy? Is it hard to take most of it seriously? Is it weird that Bele (Frank Gorshin) didn’t have a spaceship because the budget was so low at that time? Yes. Is the entire episode dated, and sometimes borderline offensive even though its heart is in the right place? Yes. Does the ending of the episode still work? You bet it does. If you’re going to watch OG Star Trek and skip this episode, you’re kind of missing out on just how charmingly heavy-handed the series could get. “Let that Be Your Last Battlefield” is like a ‘60s after-school special about racism, but they were high while they were writing it.

8. “Arena”

You’re gonna try to list the best episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series and not list the episode where Kirk fights a lizard wearing gold dress-tunic? The most amazing thing about “Arena” is that it’s a Season 1 episode of The Original Series and somehow everyone involved in making TOS had enough restraint not to ever try to use this Gorn costume again. They didn’t throw it away either! This famous rubber lizard was built by Wah Chang and is currently owned by none other than Ben Stiller.

So, here’s the thing about “Arena” that makes it a great episode of Star Trek, or any TV series with a lizard person. Kirk refuses to kill the Gorn even though he could have, and Star Trek refused to put a lizard costume in a bunch of episodes later, even though they totally could have. Gold stars all around.

7. “Balance of Terror”

The fact that Star Trek managed to introduce a race of aliens that looked exactly like Spock, and not confuse its viewership is amazing. On top of that, the fact that this detail isn’t exactly the entire focus of the episode is equally impressive. The notion that the Romulans look like Vulcans is a great twist in The Original Series, and decades upon decades of seeing Romulans has probably dulled the novelty ever so slightly. But, the idea that there was a brutally cold and efficient version of the Vulcans flying around in invisible ships blowing shit up is not only cool, but smart.

“Balance of Terror” made the Romulans the best villains of Star Trek because their villainy felt personal. Most Romulan stories in TNG, DS9, and Picard are pretty damn good and they all start right here.

6. “Space Seed”

Khaaaan!!!! Although The Wrath of Khan is infinitely more famous than the episode from which it came, “Space Seed” is one of the best episodes of The Original Series even if it hadn’t been the progenitor of that famous film. In this episode, the worst human villain the Enterprise can encounter doesn’t come from the present, but instead, the past. Even though “Space Seed” isn’t considered a very thoughtful episode and Khan is a straight-up gaslighter, the larger point here is that Khan’s evilness is connected to the fact that he lived on a version of Earth closer to our own.

The episode’s coda is also amazing and speaks of just how interesting Captain Kirk really is. After Khan beat the shit out of him and tried to suffocate the entire Enterprise crew, Kirk’s like “Yeah, this guy just needs a long camping trip.” 

5. “A Piece of the Action”

A few years back, Saturday Night Live did a Star Trek sketch in which it was revealed that Spock had a relative named “Spocko.” This sketch was tragically unfunny because TOS had already made the “Spocko” joke a million times better in “A Piece of the Action.” When you describe the premise of this episode to someone who has never seen it or even heard of it, it sounds like you’re making it up. Kirk, Spock, and Bones are tasked with cleaning-up a planet full of old-timey mobsters who use phrases like “put the bag on you.” Not only is the episode hilarious, but it also demonstrates the range of what Star Trek can do as an emerging type of pop-art. In “A Piece of the Action,” Star Trek begins asking questions about genres that nobody ever dreamed of before. Such as, “what if we did an old-timey gangster movie, but there’s a spaceship involved?”

4. “Devil in the Dark”

When I was a kid, my sister and I called this episode, “the one with giant pizza.” Today, it’s one of those episodes of Star Trek that people tell you defines the entire franchise. They’re not wrong, particularly because we’re just talking about The Original Series. The legacy of this episode is beyond brilliant and set-up a wonderful tradition within the rest of the franchise; a monster story is almost never a monster story

The ending of this episode is so good, and Leonard Nimoy and Shatner play the final scenes so well that I’m actually not sure it’s cool to reveal what the big twist is. If you somehow don’t know, I’ll just say this. You can’t imagine Chris Pratt’s friendly Velicrapotrs, or Ripper on Discovery without the Horta getting their first.

3. “The Corbomite Maneuver” 

If there’s one episode on this list that truly represents what Star Trek is usually all about on a plot level, it’s this one. After the first two pilot episodes —“Where No Man Has Gone Before” and “The Cage”—this was the first regular episode filmed. It’s the first episode with Uhura and, in almost every single way, a great way to actually explain who all these characters are and what the hell they’re doing. The episode begins with Spock saying something is “fascinating” and then, after the opening credits, calling Kirk, who is down in sickbay with his shirt off. Bones gives Kirk shit about not having done his physical in a while, and Kirk wanders through the halls of the episode without his shirt, just kind of holding his boots. 

That’s just the first like 5 minutes. It just gets better and better from there. Like a good bottle of tranya, this episode only improves with time. And if you think it’s cheesy and the big reveal bizarre, then I’m going to say, you’re not going to like the rest of Star Trek. 

2. “The City on the Edge of Forever”

No more blah blah blah! Sorry, wrong episode. Still, you’ve heard about “The City on the Edge of Forever.” You’ve heard it’s a great time travel episode. You’ve heard Harlan Ellison was pissed about how the script turned out. You heard that Ron Moore really wanted to bring back Edith Keeler for Star Trek Generations. (Okay, maybe you haven’t heard that, but he did.)

Everything you’ve heard about this episode is correct. There’s some stuff that will make any sensible person roll their eyes today, but the overall feeling of this episode is unparalleled. Time travel stories are always popular, but Star Trek has never really done a time travel story this good ever again. The edge of forever will always be just out of reach.

1. “A Taste of Armageddon”

Plot twist! This excellent episode of TOS almost never makes it on top ten lists. Until now! If you blink, “A Taste of Armageddon” could resemble at least a dozen other episodes of TOS. Kirk and Spock are trapped without their communicators. The crew has to overpower some guards to get to some central computer hub and blow it up. Scotty is in command with Kirk on the surface and is just kind of scowling the whole time. Kirk is giving big speeches about how humanity is great because it’s so deeply flawed.

What makes this episode fantastic is that all of these elements come together thanks to a simplistic science fiction premise: What if a society eliminated violence but retained murder? What if hatred was still encouraged, but war was automated? Star Trek’s best moments were often direct allegories about things that were actually happening, but what makes “A Taste of Armageddon” so great is that this metaphor reached for something that could happen. Kirk’s solution to this problem is a non-solution, which makes the episode even better. At its best classic Star Trek wasn’t just presenting a social problem and then telling us how to fix it. Sometimes it was saying something more interesting — what if the problem gets even harder? What do we do then? 

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The humor and bombast of “A Taste of Armageddon” is part of the answer to that unspoken question, but there’s also a clever lesson about making smaller philosophical decisions. In Star Wars, people are always trying to rid themselves of the dark side of the Force. In Star Trek, Kirk just teaches us to say, “Hey I won’t be a terrible person, today” and then just see how many days we can go in a row being like that.

What do you think are the most franchise-defining episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series? Let us know in the comments below.

The post The Star Trek: The Original Series Episodes That Best Define the Franchise appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[mynameiscarat]

Happy

Another hurt/comfort fanfic about Jacob Thrombey. For @rainbowninicono with best wishes!

I hope school stuff is not too wrong.

Jacob hated this place.

Harthmoor High school was, actually, a good school. Academic level was one of the highest in the state. Halls were clean and full of fresh air, posters were hanging on the walls. Varieties of clubs was impressive - not only baseball and photography clubs, but also clubs for animal lovers, literature fans, writers, young programmers, dancers and other oddballs. All the teachers were adequate. Bullying was inescapably banned.

But it was still public school. School, which kids of cashiers and civil cervants could attend. School, where cafeteria was furnitured with plastic tables, at which kids were eating pizza and drinking cheap fizzy drinks. Nothing compared with his previous private school, which was full of oak furniture, which kids of merchants, politicians and even aristocrats attended.  Where they were fed with three-dish meal. It was a history lesson, and a teacher, chubby emotional man, was talking about general Sherman. Jacob didn't listen. His phone slighly buzzed again. Jacob received another message in Facebook - from a student Alex Lopez, who was going to apply for a school board seat. Jacob knew it, as well as his classmates. Yesterday they all had to sit through candidate gathering in an assembley hall, and Alex Lopez was talking the most of the time about his project of plastic sorting in school and climate change awareness. Immediately after that Jacob found Alex Lopez in Facebook and started harassing him. He was calling him eco-terrorist, saying that climate change is a lie. He also said enough about Alex’s origins, American schools and white governance in them. Firstly Alex tried to calm him down. But today his attitude changed at last. Jacob waited for that. In a message that Jacob received now was said: «I know who you are, and I know where you are. Soon you will be very sorry, fucker». Jacob smirked. He truly believed that this Mexican guy could do nothing to him. Satisfied with work done, Jacob put away his phone and looked at a girl on the front desk. Her name was y/n y/l. Jacob didn’t like his classmates, noisy, giggly, active kids. You were only one person who didn’t annoy him. From the first view you didn’t differ much from others. But there was something in you. Maybe, dignity. Maybe, calmness or cleverness... or kindness. And also you were beautiful. Just beautiful. History lesson ended. His classmates didn’t hurry, collecting their stuff and talking about their plans for weekend. Unlike them, y/n left classroom almost immediately, only saying goodbye to a couple of people. Where were you rushing? Maybe, to the club? Or were you going home? Jacob didn’t know where do you live. He was still thinking about you when he was going home. He was heading to this block of rental apartments. He now lived in one of those. Small rooms, tasteless pictures on the walls and laundry in the basement. Jacob still didn’t really believed that it's his home now. “Hey, you!” - he heard. Jacob turned back and saw Alex Lopez. He wasn’t alone. With him was tall, muscular, dark-haired man with tattooed hands. His eyes narrowed. “Is that him, bud?” - the man asked Alex calmly. Alex nodded. Jacob knew that he had to run now, but his legs suddenly went numb. He opened his mouth, preparing to say something contemptuous, but it was too late. Alex’s friend approached him, grabbed his shoulder and rose a hand. Then was a terrible pain in his face, and everything turned black.

Pain stayed with him, when he was out, and became even worse, when he woke up. Not only his face was burning - he felt, that his legs were severely bruised. Probably Alex’s friend strongly kicked him, when he fell. Slowly, very slowly Jacob sat and touched his face. Some blood left on his fingers. Then he searched for his phone. It was still in his pocket... but it was broken in two pieces. Jacob was of the verge of crying. Partly because of the pain. Partly because of this situation. He didn’t get used to paying for his words. But mostly - because of the phone. It was an expensive model. Jacob knew he won”t get new one very soon. Jacob tried to stand up but failed. He was terribly dizzy. The world were going dark before his eyes. He blinked a couple of times, then tried again. His own name was dinging in his ears: «Jacob, Jacob!» “Jacob!” A sudden realisation hit him. He turned back and saw you, rushing to him. “Y/n... “- mumbled he.

Your hands touched his shoulder delicately: “Jacob, how are you?! What on Earth happened here?! You nose is bloody!” Jacob sighed: “I’m so dizzy...”  “Can you walk for 5 minutes, just 5 minutes? I live around the corner. I will help you. Here, have a paper tissue”  Jacob wiped his face clumsily. Tissue quickly became red. “Come on. - you gently urged, helping him to stoop up. - I took your bag, don’t worry.” Soon Jacob more or less recovered. His head was heavy as a cauldron, his feet hurt, and he was sure his nose is broken, but he fully regained  consciousness. And then he realised what’s going on. He was leaning on you, his y/n, you were almost hugging him and whispering: “Just a bit more... Watch out, there are doorsteps. Here we are!” - and you both entered a little white cottage with a garage and a lawn with carefully cut grass. Jacob suddenly found himelf on a couch in a room that looked like a living room. It wasn’t that big or luxury, like rooms in Harlan’s house. But there were plants on the window, nice painting above TV, colourful carpet and book shelves. He didn’t recognized any grandfather’s books there. And then you appeared again. You were holding a little basin, filled with water, a towel, a box with court plasters and head pills. “I will clean your face now, okay?” - you asked with worry in your eyes. Jacob nodded and closed his eyes.   You were so delicate. With a corner of soft towel you cleaned his nose from blood, and then sponged his cheeks and forehead. Jacob was floating in this feeling. Then you touched his nose so ligtly that it wasn’t painful at all. “Nothing is broken. - you said softly, sticking court plaster next to his nose. - How”s your head?” “Hurts.” “Take a pill then, here. Maybe anything else hurts?” “Legs... I was punched. But there are probably just bruises... don’t worry.” “Then rest a bit. Shall I call your parents?” Jacob shook his head no. You did everything to help him, there’s nothing left to do. Jacob knew, that his parents would worry, but he didn’t really care now. Part of him wanted to punish them. It was also their fault... their fault that he’s stuck in trashy school, completely broke, without a possibility of getting a new iphone, and anyone can beat him up if he wants. Now he just wanted to stay in this cozy room for a while - wtih you. You carefully settled on the edge of a couch, trying not to disturb him. “Jacob, tell me, who attacked you?” - you asked. And before Jacob could answer, you lightly stroked his bruised hand. A minute of tense silence passed. Now Jacob knew for sure that he had to try. So he gathered all his bravery and said: “I will... but tell me firstly... will you go out with me?" You gasped: “Oh god, really?”  And the next moment you snuggled to Jacob, still being very careful. “Jacob, dearest, of course I will! I liked you immediately as you arrived in our school. I wonder what happened to you?” “It’s.. a terrible story.” - he smirked, bringing you closer to him. To his own surprise, he didn’t remember himself being that happy back in Thrombey’s house.

[bucky-s-girl-n-stuff]

Everything that could happen in a week part.1

summary: you’re invited to the Thrombey’s Halloween party, by your friend Meg. Between old man being too handsy while drunk and the others having heated political arguments borderline racist, you manage to survive for a week thanks to a new acquaintance you make. 

pairing: Ransom Drysdale x reader

warning: drugs, sexual innuendos, Ransom being Ransom.

I woke up on an early morning at the sound of a violent wind causing the rain to pour on my windows. I don’t know why but I loved this kind of weather. The noise it made was calming, soothing and made me want to stay home all day watching TV shows with a cup of tea warming my cold hands. I rolled over on my stomach and stared at my window, contemplating the raindrops racing down. I closed my eyes one last time, taking a deep breath before getting up. Fast enough, I got into my morning routine. I started by stretching exercises and then moved on to making myself breakfast which consisted of eggs, an avocado toast and of course coffee. I, then, proceeded to take a shower and brush my teeth.

Today was the 31st of October which meant Halloween party tonight. The theme of this year's Halloween was “Movies”. I already had my costume ready hanging on to my bedroom door. I chose to be Juliett from Romeo+Juliett with Leonardo Dicaprio and Claire Danes from 1996. 

I was invited by a friend, Meg, who came from a noble family: the Thrombeys. They had in their hands the holy trinity: power, money and good looks. I met her in college. I was studying social sciences at the time and during one of my anthropological investigation, I stumbled upon her. We grew to be pretty close and she ended up being my best and only friend.  I’ve always been the shy kid, the quiet teenager and the introvert grown-up. I always kept everything to myself and even kept my deepest feelings, my most personal memories and thoughts from Meg, only telling her what she needed to know. That’s why she was my only friend: never asked too much and always knew when to back off. 

Meg and I decided it would be easier if I came late in the afternoon to get ready for the party. I put my costume in the suitcase I packed the night before and decided it was time to go as it was a four hours drive from New York to Boston, not including the lunch break. I got into my car and took my appearance in, from the interior rear-view. I hadn’t put any makeup on since I was going to drive for hours and I was going to do it for the party once arrived. I chose to be comfy, wearing a big hoody with leggings and uggs for shoes. I plugged my phone to the car and programmed my GPS to the address Meg had sent me. 

The drive to the Manoir had taken more than five hours due to a traffic jam and I had finally arrived at 6 p.m.-ish, one hour before the guests were supposed to arrive. As I was closing my trunk, I saw Meg getting out of the house and running up to me. Preparing myself for what was coming I put down my suitcase. 

“y/n, I missed you!”, she breathed while collapsing on me for a hug. 

“Hey Meg, I missed you too”, I replied softly. 

I was happy to see her after being apart for a year. It was like I had been deprived of touch for so long, it felt good to feel her warmth against me. 

 She then proceeded to take my suitcase while telling me about what was going on in her life like we didn’t call each other once a week, and she guided me to my bedroom for the week.

“So, that’s where you’ll be staying. My room is at the end of the hallway and next to you is Ransom’s room, my cousin. Behind this door is the bathroom.” Meg informed me.

“Thanks. I guess I just have to settle in and get ready for the party then.” I replied with a smile.

I just had finished getting ready when I heard the firsts guests coming and invading the ground floor. Meg was already downstairs as she had to help shortly after I arrived to make sure everything was as planned. I hated those parties, too many people who had too much to drink. It was mostly rich people, never satisfied with what they already had. All greedy, and envious. Ugly inside and gathering around Harlan, Meg’s grandfather, like rats. As I opened the door to make my way downstairs, I came face to face with a man. He seemed as surprised as I was but quickly built back his composture. He rolled his eyes so hard I thought they might be stuck inside his head and muttered something about “Meg’s stupid friends”. After he entered the room next to mine, I was able to put a name on this man’s face: Ransom as Meg had informed me earlier.

We were one hour into the party and I already wanted to kill myself. As I had predicted, everyone was drunk and Meg was wasted. She had invited over other friends she knew from school but in my opinion, they were bad news for her. So, I was settled in the corner of the living room sipping on my drink and just looking at the complete mess that the guests were in front of me. I felt uncomfortable and needed air so I decided to walk in the garden a little. It was a little bit cold but the wind wasn’t as bad as in New York. It was nice out for the end of October. I decided to follow the path around the house and see if there was anything to discover. I was lucky that my character wore flats because I wouldn’t have been able to walk on the gravel with heels on. Behind the first corner, I saw a way to go up on a patio. Once arrived, I could contemplate the many trees before me and nothing else for miles. Suddenly, someone cleared their throat behind me, scaring me as I had not seen them. I turned around to see Ransom, smirking and seemingly happy to have frightened me. My hand was still resting on my heart, having trouble to calm down. 

“I didn’t know there was someone up there. Sorry, I’ll go.” I whispered. 

“No it’s fine, you can stay, just don’t tell my parents about this,” he said while showing me a joint. 

Of course, I thought to myself, rolling my eyes in my head. 

“I won’t, go ahead,” I replied raising my hand to accompany my words.

He lighted it up after my “go-ahead” even though he would have done it no matter what. I turned around facing the view as he took his first puff out.

“So, you’re Ransom right?” I asked, feeling awkward he wasn’t saying anything after five minutes. 

He hummed at my question and it felt dead silent again. I just abandoned the thought of socializing and decided to look at the landscape. After what felt an eternity, he broke the silence much to my despair.

“ I didn’t quite catch your name earlier" 

Very smooth I commented in my head. 

"I didn’t give it to you that’s why,” I replied, my back still to him. I hoped he would have left it at that but he was ready to start a conversation now he was drugged and nice. 

“ooh sassy, I like it” he laughed. “Come on, you know mine it’s only fair that I know who I’m telling my secrets to…" 

I debated if I should give him my name but realised I was here for a week and if he was close family I would probably run into him again. And hell, it was just a name.

"y/n, my name is y/n,” I answered facing him. 

I took a good look at him while I could and tried to understand him better and find out who he was throughout his posture and mimics. He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, head cocked like a puppy and sported this smirk I wanted to wipe off his face so bad. 

“Cute name” is all he said. And then again silence fell between the two of us. The silence was broken when I heard Meg screaming my name from what seemed to be the porch. I started to make my way back when Ransom held my wrist gently tugging me toward the windows of the balcony hiding us from below. Meg was still calling me and approaching us. I questioned Ransom with my eyes as to why he was preventing me from telling Meg I was there but he just put a finger to his lips in a shush manner. Once Meg got discouraged or didn’t even remember what she was doing outside, we heard her go back inside and Ransom let me go.

“I just didn’t want her to know I smoked her joint from her reserve.” he shrugged. 

“Really? I told you I wasn’t going to tell anyone.” I said a little exasperated.

“I know, maybe I didn’t want to be all alone,” he replied sheepishly. 

“Sure, there is a party downstairs and there are a lot of people invited if you like the company,” I said sarcastically. He smiled at my answer and took my hand which caught me off guards. 

“Maybe we could go somewhere more private, like my room and we could talk, or…” as he was saying that he got closer to me invading the little private space I had left in the corner of the balcony, looking me up and down. As I realized what he meant I took my hand off his, pretty violently, and got as far away as I could, disgusted by the man. 

“You are the most pretentious and narcissistic person I’ve ever met to believe I would actually be interested in sleeping with you,” I said incredulously. I just frowned upon him and got back inside as quickly as I could utterly disgust by the man. 

“ouch” is the last word he said a hand over his heart trying to make the situation comical to what I only scoffed. This was going to be a long week. 

[facelessfrey]

Roswell New Mexico Season 2, Episode 13

- I’m sure that wasn’t supposed to be comedy but I literally laughed through most of that and I’m still laughing at the last scene. I can’t. I just...I can’t. I mean what the fuck even was half of that?!?!?

- I mean that episode was WILD. I don’t even know where to begin. This is going to get long...you are forewarned. 

- Let’s start with the EXTREMELY RAPID conclusion of last week’s mortal peril. Yep....let’s just do some CPR...not even have to break out the alien defibrillator powers and oh look Max is just fine. I mean...thank god cause I could not go through a repeat of last season although...considering the last scene...that might be preferable. (I’m still laughing...like full on cracking up and my roommates probably think I’m nuts). Then we’ve got Liz dumping the contents of some top secret recipe giant ketchup bottles on the alien console and oh...yep....melted. Glad that crisis was averted. Then we have some random shots of people going to the hospital and oh look...everyone’s alive and fine except...Jesse Manes. I mean...don’t get me wrong...he’s a monster and I’m not sorry he’s dead by my god what a pitiful end to a character that should have been a really good villain but instead was a guy who limped around in the background most of the season until suddenly in one episode it turns out he had been putting together a dastardly plan to show the aliens as the monsters they are and then murder them....sure. Why not?!?! Well...I guess it’s nice that that barely three episode arc of Gregory Manes wanting to stand up for Alex got some closure. I just...it’s so dumb!!!!

- Oh wait...I forgot...not shocking cause it was literally two seconds, but hey...Helena randomly went back and saved Charlie and proceeded to yell at her for getting chained up and not leaving while she freed her. Cool. 

- Right...so that’s all wrapped up in the opening five minutes...let’s just move on...we’ve got a lot of other insane junk we have to throw into the next 35 minutes. Yep...still laughing. 

- Let’s just kick things off with Michael and Maria...and now I’m laughing again. I did ask the show to prove me wrong earlier today and well...I mean....they half did?!?!?!! Except it was literally insane so I don’t even know what to say. So...Maria’s just fine cause you know she was only half alien so that’s cool and great and then oh wait...she just happens to have a magic plot box dropped off by Mimi. Thanks Mimi...you still have no real purpose in this story except to occasionally move the plot forward but thanks for the box. But Michael doesn’t trust Mimi’s plot hints so he doesn’t want to open the box. Instead....he goes to hang with Alex and they destroy the shed together, which admittedly was a very nice scene and totally gave me Stendan in Dublin vibes and I quite liked it. 

- But it was also all so they could find a literal skeleton under the floorboards. Gotta get those callbacks in eh? Hahaha. And of course it’s Tripp! Who else would it be? And of course...he’s got the magical key so it turns out Mimi really is tuned into the plot and read ahead in the script and knew that box would be important! So back to Maria he goes after having this super cathartic scene with Alex that tied into their emotional past together. I mean...par for the course...and I was fully ready for the whiplash that was going to make me crazy and you know...I was not disappointed because they started out being all “hey I love you” and I was like “eye roll knew that was coming” but then! She just up and breaks up with him because that’s what you do after a mutual I love you that’s based on zero relationship development over the past twelve and a half episodes. And once again...I am laughing. 

- I mean...I’ll say this...I’m glad it was her that broke up with him and in part because she totally knows he’s in love with Alex and we have been saying that literally all season so like I’m glad she noticed. But I literally died when she was all “I’ve learned so much from this relationship”. What?! What did you learn? Did you get motivation in your script direction that we weren’t privy to because I still have literally no idea what either of you were supposed to be getting out of that relationship but hey...who cares cause it’s over now and Maria just decided that so it’s all fine. No heartbreak there. And you know...Michael seems totally cool with it. Barely even put up a fight. Hahahahaha. Again...I can’t. 

- So then we go back to Alex and Michael and Isobel who is all of a sudden team Malex this episode when previously she was inventing emojis for Michael’s Maria hearteyes so yeah...all of this is just really confusing. But hey! The box has Tripp’s journal in it and descriptions that make Michael squirm but also....Tripp and Nora’s love was...wait for....COSMIC! Hahaha. Oh this show. It’s drunk on it’s own absurdity. So anyway...we’re filled in on the rest of Tripp and Nora’s story...well...sort of. We know she tried ice cream and liked it and there was talk of the mystery bad man that wasn’t Noah but uh...more on that later. Haha. Well...I guess we know Harlan killed Tripp and we unfortunately saw Nora die so that’s a wrap on the 1947 flashbacks I guess?!?! Sure. 

- Oh god and the song...since we’re on Malex anyway. I mean...I liked the song and yeah....he got all the references in there. I never look away...cosmic...sure. And I knew once Forrest was there that kiss was going to happen but my god...are we really setting up season three where now Alex is the one in a random relationship and Michael is trying to be happy for him and we repeat season two’s nonsense?! Are we going to have another threesome just for funzies because you know...that was still LITERALLY the dumbest and most pointless plot point of the season. But anyway, I’m happy Alex felt comfortable enough to sing a song about a guy and kiss a guy in front of a crowded bar but there was literally NO REASON it could not have been Michael. He and Forrest literally had like four scenes together this season compared to Malex who had this whole emotional arc but no...gotta make it complicated. 

- Props to them for managing to have one last break up without actually even having a conversation this time. TALENT. LEGENDS ONLY. 

- I guess at least now that there’s just a minor character in the way and they probably can’t actually kiss again due to coronavirus restrictions, there’s probably some hope for Malex next season?!?! Maybe they’ll find a vaccine by the time there’s a Malex reunion. Maybe good things come to those who suffer. Hahaha.

- Right...let’s move on to Max and Liz. So uhh...Max spends the whole episode seeming like he was hopped up on drugs again or desperate for a fix. What is in that antidote?! Once again we gloss over the “darkness” in Max because like who needs real follow up to the first five episodes of the season. Not this show!

- The whole “Max destroys Liz’s lab” plot was nuts. Just the sheer speed of it from Diego magically appearing at the diner with the Generyx woman to Jenna’s super spy disguise to Max just blowing up the lab as Diego and co drive up and then they just exit stage left super fast except for the fact that Liz is still seemingly going to California but like...why? Did Generyx woman still agree to give her a grant based on her exploding lab?! Did she just feel bad that she didn’t have a lab anymore?! 

- Sidebar to Steph...fucking Steph...whose apparent entire purpose this season was to be sick enough to inspire Liz to do science and break up her and Max over it and then survive after Liz randomly finds time to give her some kind of half baked medicine from her lab BEFORE it exploded??!?! Or does she just carry that shit around with her? And for the love of god SOMEBODY SAVE KYLE from this EXCRUCIATINGLY BORING story!!!!!! Please don’t subject him to more of this next season. Let them break up during the pandemic and give Kyle a clean slate and allow him to reenter the narrative in a way that allows him actual screen time and scenes with the group. Sigh...at least he got to hug Liz and have a brief scene with Alex where Alex told him he was proof of redemption. Look at that character arc that was literally told in two scenes this season! Yeah...see they can be concise when they want to!

- Anyway...back to Max. OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT FINAL SCENE?!?!?!??! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA?!!? I don’t even know what I was expecting but it WAS NOT THAT! What even?!?! WHY AM I BEING SUBJECTED TO TWO MAXES?!?! ONE WAS ENOUGH...sometimes MORE THAN ENOUGH. This is just really mean and so was forcing me to look at that HIDEOUS beard! I just....I really can’t handle it. HAHAHA! What drugs were they on when they wrote this?! Also...NONE OF THIS ANSWERS ANY QUESTION AT ALL!!!!!!!!!

- Let’s see...what else...

- I’m glad Jenna and Charlie FINALLY had a scene together because when Jenna first said that Charlie had disappeared again, I got so mad because it was just inexplicably dumb. So I’m glad they got to see each other. 

- I’m glad Rosa is going back to rehab and that she both got to tell her mother that she loved her and tell her to stay the fuck away. 

- I’m just laughing at the fact that for like one episode Helena was suddenly the big bad or at least a main antagonist or at least some kind of main player for the season and then just as quickly was COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT and is probably just going to leave now?!??! WHY?!?!?!? 

- Can Isobel please get something legit to do next season that doesn’t just involve her going into people’s heads without asking and maybe involves her getting a love interest of her own? Please?! I mean...I’m glad she got learn about her mother this season but also I feel like she didn’t do much and I think she deserves more than that. 

- I guess I’m glad Maria is embracing her alien side and trying to be true to herself or whatever but also....she was literally just in this episode to “not be dead”, to give Michael a plot box and to break up with him so she’s no longer a shipping obstacle. And then we never saw her again the rest of the episode. I really sincerely hope they do more with her next season in a way that actually serves her as a character because this season did not do her many favors. I’m glad she finally knows about the aliens and they delved into her own alien identity but I hope she really gets to do something with that next season and not just exist to save everyone else at the end with no thanks for it. I mean literally no one was on screen visiting her except Michael just so she could give him a box and break up with him. Liz and Max were literally at the hospital. But no...Liz had to see irrelevant Steph so she could save her for some unknown reason. Sigh....Not even her cool aunt Isobel came to see her. 

- I don’t even know what else to say. I’m still laughing. I still feel like I know LITERALLY NOTHING about what was going on this season. I had hopes for this season at the end of season one but honestly I have zero hopes for season three because I’m sure it will be a clusterfuck but an even weirder clusterfuck than normal cause everyone will be standing eight feet apart. Maybe that will make them tell a tighter story and not try and shove 75 different plots into 13 episodes??? Probably not. I’m sure it’ll still be batshit crazy and make no sense at all. I’m gonna treat the show as a comedy from now on. 

- Well...it’s been fun all. Thanks to anyone who made it through this whole nonsense post. You deserve a prize. Maybe a plot box or a skeleton under a floorboard or a journal telling you your relatives’ love was cosmic too. 

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Banner One Shot: You Can’t Kid a Kiddo

Intro: It’s April Fools’ Day…and Tony is out to play. Avengers, beware!

Warnings: Bad language, very mild smut...no one gets naked.

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark 

A/N:This is written for @wkemeup​ ‘s  4K Writing Challenge. My prompt was dialogue- “I take zero responsibility for this…”

This takes place in the Stark Spangled Banner timeline in April 2015 just before the events of AOU. Steve and my OFC (Katie Stark- Tony’s sister) have been together for 2 years ish and are engaged at this point as well. There’s also another Easter Egg in here for me to set up another One Shot I’m working on...

You don’t have to have read SSB to understand or enjoy this but feel free to check them out if you so wish. Stark Spangled Banner, and the prequel Stark Spangled Man can both be found here on my Masterlist.

Please re-blog and send me comments/thoughts. That’s my jam!

Steve’s hands were hot on Katie’s hips, gently gripping her bare skin just above her underwear, the top she was wearing riding up slightly. Her bare thighs were straddling his as he gripped her neck, pulling her down for a searing kiss, grinding up against her, the TV programme was long forgotten.

“You know…” he said, pulling back slightly to look at her, one of his hands tangling in the hem of the plaid button down she’d stolen from him to sleep in, as usual “Captain America doesn’t approve of theft.” “Captain America is an ass hole.” she grinned back “Stevie is my favourite.”

He gave a chuckle and leaned back against the sofa cushions, looking at her for a second “How did I get so lucky?” he asked, reaching up to tuck her long hair behind her ears. She smiled at him, her cheeks slightly flushed.

“What’s brought this on?” she asked, her hands sliding up his chest, resting on his shoulders, fingers gently playing with the collar of his polo shirt.

“Nothing.” he said, “Just seeing you before, today, with that reporter, just reminded me about how fierce...” he pressed a kiss to her lips “and loyal…” another kiss “and downright sexy you are when you’re angry…”

“He was a dick.” she mumbled, against his lips, her eyes narrowing slightly as she pulled back to look at him, his fingers gently tracing the outside of her thighs “I mean, it’s not like we haven’t already launched the publicity campaign already…”

“Well it’s big news.” he smiled up at her.

“Of course it will, it’s Harlan Thrombey…” she shrugged “His books are huge!”

“Did you ever get to the bottom of why he’s reached out to SIP to run the next one when he has his own publishing company?” “Oh something to do with his Son annoying him and needing to be taught not to take things for granted.” Katie shrugged “I can ask him that in October when we meet him to go over the final edit and discuss the covers and stuff… but that’s by the by. That ass-hat reporter should have been at the press launch like everyone else, not trying to accost us when we went out for lunch. And what the fuck has whether we’ve set a wedding date got to do with it anyway? Nosey bastard.”

Steve chuckled at her rant and looked at her, his eyes shining. “We haven’t set one though.”

“Yeah well, we’ve kinda had a bit going on.” she said, “Maybe once all this business with the sceptre is sorted we can think about it.” Steve sighed “I know, it’s taking a little longer than we hoped.”

“Well it’s only the end of March.” she shrugged “I’ve always wanted a summer wedding so it’s not…”

She trailed off and Steve saw her eyes widen and her mouth dropped open as she looked at him. “Oh shit…”

“Kitten, what is it?” he frowned.

“It’s the 31st March…” she looked at him, swallowing. Steve felt the colour draining from his face "Crap." The reason for their horror was simple. Because, forget Christmas or Thanksgiving, April Fools’ Day was Tony Stark's favourite time of year, as his long suffering sister could testify. When she was a kid, Tony had done the usual stuff. Flour in her talc, washing up liquid in her shampoo, paper shapes of bugs (never spiders though, he wasn't that cruel) in lampshades so when she turned the lights on she'd think she had a huge cockroach in there, that type of stuff. But, as she matured so did the pranks. At one time whilst she had been at the tower for a meeting JARVIS sent her an alert that someone had slashed her tyres in the carpark. She had sprinted outside to see photos of Slash from Guns and Roses struck to the side of her tyres. Another year Tony had hacked her StarkPhone and Laptop and changed the language to Chinese. Of course she couldn't read fucking Chinese to change it back. When she found an agent in SHIELD who did and he reversed it for her, within 30 seconds it had flicked over to Russian. And when she fixed that it became Swedish and so on and so on... Steve had also been the butt of a few pranks since he had known Tony. In 2013 he had fallen for the old toothpaste Oreo trick when a box had arrived for him allegedly from the cookie company themselves after Steve had been papped eating a packet. That had nearly made him sick. And then last year there had been the none stop phone calls asking for Franklin. Every time it was someone different and Steve was getting more and more frustrated as to who exactly Franklin was and why people thought he was on his number. Then, as he and Katie had been on the sofa making out, he'd gotten one last call…

"Leave it..." she said, her hands in his face turning her back to look at him. He kissed her again, hands sliding up the side of her torso, grinding his crotch down onto hers making her purr with delight as her hands strayed to the buckle of his belt, soft fingers gently skimming his abs as she made to undo it, his tongue tangling ferociously with hers as he gave a soft moan of pleasure... But his phone was going again. Katie sighed as he dropped his head to her chest, mumbling a curse. "Unless that’s a Code Red, you can tell whoever it is to fuck off." she said with a frustrated growl, her head flopping back against the cushion as he reached over and answered it, still led over her. "Rogers..." he said sharply. It was another unknown number, but not an unknown voice. "Hi this is Frankin!" Tony greeted him Steve let out a growl of frustration as he realised he had been had. "Have there been..." pause as the inventor laughed "I'm sorry, have there been any calls for me?" "Tony I swear to god!" he spat through gritted teeth as the inventor cackled and hung up. "Your brother is a dick." he looked down at Katie, shaking his head. "Well yeah, I know that…" Katie looked up at her boyfriend "What did he just do?" "Those calls I’ve been getting all day. Asking for Franklin?" He looked at her and she nodded "it was him."

She paused and then let out a laugh “Ok, to be fair, that’s a pretty good one…” “I hate him.” he mumbled, dropping his head back to her chest.

She chuckled again, and ran her fingers through his hair. “Hey, Stevie…wanna get him back?" “How?” Steve queried, propping himself up on his elbows, looking at her.. “Call him...” she grinned, leaning up and nipping at his jaw line softly as he closed his eyes “Leave the phone on the table...” she bucked up under him, wriggling her hips, his trousers feeling uncomfortably tight  again “and let him listen to us make out”

Steve hadn’t done that, because, well frankly the thought of anyone listening to them wasn’t a great turn on in his books so Tony had gone another year of getting away with it.

Simply put, Tony was king of the pranks, and this year he had the entire team at the tower to torment. 

“We should warn the others…” Steve looked at her, and with a sigh she nodded. She untangled herself from him and straightened the legs on her denim shorts.

“JARVIS?” she asked.

“Yes Miss Stark…” “Where are the rest of the team?”

“Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton are in the Common Room.” he spoke “Thor is in his quarters as is Mr Stark and Dr Banner is in the Lab…”

“I’ll text Nat, Clint and Banner.” she said, nodding “Can you go see Thor…he doesn’t have a phone and I’m not asking JARVIS to do it in case Tony catches on…” Steve nodded “Yeah, I’ll pop down and see him now.” Giving her a quick kiss he straightened his pants slightly and headed towards the hidden elevator, selecting the right floor. Thor and Clint shared one of the highest floors in the tower, both preferring to be higher up, closer to the roof but it was still below their’s. Exiting the elevator, he turned left and knocked on the door.

“Captain?” Thor answered and stepped back. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” “It’s not strictly pleasure I’m afraid Thor…” Steve sighed “I’m hear with a warning.” “A warning?” he frowned.

“Yeah, you got five minutes? It’s gonna take some explanation.”

***** Tony was giggling to himself as he put the final touches to the last of his pranks, before closing the door to the Lab and heading back to his floor. None of the team were up yet, it was ridiculously early, but the early bird catches the worm and all that. Fuck Killian and his second mouse bullshit. He had been toying with setting it all up the previous evening but he didn’t trust Kiddo and Spangles not to do some kind of recon mission before they went to bed. 

“What have you been doing?” Pepper mumbled to him as he walked back into their dark bedroom.

“Nothing…” he said, with a grin, leaning down to give her a peck.

“Bullshit.” Pepper mumbled against his lips. “It’s April Fools Day…” “Is it?” he said, innocently and she rolled her eyes “JARVIS?”

“Yes Sir?”

“Hey buddy, I need you to set up an alert for me for today. If anyone goes into my office, or the garage, or anywhere in the tower messing with my equipment I wanna know about it.”

“Of course Sir.”

Tony grinned as he headed into the bathroom for a shower. “Game on, Avengers...” 

Prank 1.

Steve was the first victim. He and Katie were making their way, cautiously, down to the large meeting room where they were all due to congregate to look over the plans of an abandoned British prison they suspected of being a Hydra base. They made sure to check round each corner before they walked round it, checking up high, low, everywhere.

But there was no avoiding this prank.

Steve pressed his palm to the Biometric Pad on the meeting room door and the pair of them gave a loud yell and a jump as their ears were assaulted by a sudden chorus.

“Who's strong and brave here to save the American Way? Who vows to fight like a man for what's right, night and day?”

“Oh for fucks sake…” Steve groaned as he pulled open the door, the song echoing through the PA system.

“Who will campaign door to door for America? Carry the flag shore to shore for America? From Hoboken to Spokane? The Star Spangled Man with a plan!”

Clint and Natasha were stood, poised at the table, both wearing identical looks of astonishment on their faces. They turned to Katie and Steve as they walked into the room, the song still playing.

“We can't ignore there's a threat and a war we must win! Who'll hang a noose on the goose-stepping goons from Berlin?”

“I’m assuming this means Cap is the first of us to fall victim to Stark?” Clint asked, his lips quirking into a smile.

“Who will indeed lead the call for America? Who'll rise or fall, give his all, for America?”

“Please tell me it isn’t going to go through a full rendition…” Steve sighed, dropping into a chair.

“Who's here to prove that we can? The Star Spangled Man with a plan!”

Silence. The 4 of them waited with bated breath, but thankfully it had stopped.

“Just the first two verses…” Katie said, sitting next to him. “Suppose we should be grateful.” “Kiddo, you’re as much of a sneak as Tony…” Clint looked at her, as Thor walked into the room. “How come you’ve never managed to get him back?”

“He’s too smart.” she sighed, “I’ve tried and tried before. It doesn’t help that he has JARVIS either, watch this…JARVIS?”

“Yes Miss Stark?”

“Has my brother got an alert going for you to warn him if we try and prank him?” “I couldn’t possibly comment Miss Stark, on whether or not your brother has an alert set up to warn him if you attempt to tamper with any of his equipment…”

Normally she would chuckle at the AIs tone but she was too frustrated with her brother and the seeming lack of loopholes in any of his instructions she could exploit. She leaned back in her chair and gave a huff “See?”

“I could just shock him with some lightning?” Thor suggested

“Think that’s a little harsh.” Steve sighed. 

“See if you still think that by the end of the day when every time you open a door that song starts.” Natasha looked at him.

“What, you think…” Steve looked at her and then gave a groan. “It’s not just gonna be the one door is it?”

_____

Tony, watching the events unfold on the display in the safety of his office cackled. “Of course it isn’t just one door…” _______

Prank 2.

Bruce was sincerely hoping that whatever inevitable prank Tony was going to pull on him that the Billionaire had been sensible enough not to shock him so far that the Hulk erupted. Bruce had a pretty good hold on him, so he wasn’t too worried but still, you never know.

He made it to his lab in one piece, opened the door and stopped dead.

In front of him on the floor, for about 2 metres square were cups of water. And they were positioned hat close together that there was no space for him to step over in any direction without them spilling all over the floor. Which meant he couldn’t get into the room. Had it been anyone else, they would probably have simply kicked them over, but not Bruce. He was always paranoid about the liquid seeping through the floors and down onto the machinery which looked after the Iron Legion. 

So if he was going to get into the lab, he was going to have to move them one cup at a time. 

“Damned you Tony!” he said with a loud, exasperated sigh “JARVIS? I need a bucket…”

_______

Tony, watching the events unfold on the display in the safety of his office cackled. “Good luck finding one Brucey…”

_______

Prank 3.

“I don’t think there’s much else to go on…” Steve sighed as the rest of the team finished looking over the plans “We need to get out there and do a recon really.“

“We prepping for another mission then, Cap?” Clint looked at him. Steve took a deep breath and nodded.

“I don’t think we have an alternative.” 

“Ok, well, if we get everything ready we can go at first light tomorrow.” Natasha suggested “I’ll get onto the British Authorities, let them know we’re planning on coming.” “Get Hill onto it” Katie suggested “She’ll go through the UN.”

With that an alert sounded on her phone and she looked down at it. “I gotta go take a conference call but I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Steve nodded to her as she stood up and left the room. She made it to her office, safely and swung the door open, pausing just to make sure nothing fell from the door frame. She darted through, took a look round and everything seemed to be in order.

Suspecting Tony of most likely sabotaging her computer or screen, she sat down on her chair and a loud horn sounded causing her to scream and involuntarily he entire body jumped, and her chair toppled backwards. She went with it, arms and legs flailing and she hit the floor with a crash.

After taking a moment to sort herself out she stood up, and looked at the bottom of her chair. There was an Airhorn strapped to the main leg which mean as soon as she had sat down, it would push the handle causing it to sound.

“I know you’re watching this you fucker!” she yelled, spinning round to the CCTV camera and flicking it off “I hate you!”

_____ Tony, watching the events unfold on the display in the safety of his office cackled. “Nice fall Kiddo…”

_______

Prank 4.

Given that there was nothing else to do, Natasha decided to head to the gym, as she did every Tuesday morning, to practice Pilates. It was a routine she tried not to break as it helped her keep supple and relax. Katie sometimes joined her, and surprisingly so did Steve. He said it helped keep his mind clear. 

She knew that the routine made her an easy target for one of Stark’s pranks, but she was damned if he was going to catch her out. She was one of the world’s best spies, no way was he going to get her with some stupid, childish trick.

She entered the room and glanced up and around, checking the corners, you name it. Satisfied that no one was going to jump out at her, and even if they did, she’d floor them- more fool you, Stark, she leaned up against the bench and stretched her legs out.

“Who's strong and brave here to save the American Way? Who vows to fight like a man for what's right, night and day?”

She spun to see Steve shaking his head as he made his way into the room in his gym gear

“You joining me or hitting the bag?” she asked as they both tried to ignore the song as it continued ringing from the speakers.

“Joining you if that’s ok?” he said, “I went for a run this morning so…” “Sure.” she nodded, and as the song finally stopped they made their way to the store cupboards, picking out their mats. Natasha picked her favoured one, and lay it down on the floor.

As soon as she stepped on it there was a loud popping noise, like a gun going off, and she jumped backwards, dropping to the floor by instinct. 

“Nat…” Steve said, a smile tugging at his lips “It’s ok, it’s not a gun.” Angrily she stood up, stalked over to the mat and pulled it up off the floor. She examined it a little before she gave a snort.

“Bastard!” she exclaimed, slipping her hand into a small, almost invisible hole on the underside. She pulled out a tiny little firecracker, the type that kids used to throw on the floor in front of someone to make a loud bag. “He’s filled my mat with these!” 

______

Tony, watching the events unfold on the display in the safety of his office cackled. “Even Super Spies get fooled, Romanoff…”

_______

Prank 5 and 6.

Later that day the team met in the common room for lunch. Steve already had a headache from that damned song following him every time he opened a door, Katie was sporting quite a sore elbow after falling harshly on the floor, Bruce was pissed as it had taken him a good hour to get rid of the cups of water, and Natasha was seething at the fact she’d been caught out too.

“I don’t know how you’ve put up with it for your entire life.” Clint said to Katie as he opened the fridge, pulling out a can of his favoured Dr Pepper. He grabbed a glass and a few ice cubes, the way he always like his soda and walked over to where they were all sat on the sofas with various lunch items on the coffee table. He poured the soda into the glass and set it on the table.

“Yeah well, you better be careful.” Katie said “You too Thor, there’s no way he hasn’t set one up for you both.” “I am mighty Little Stark.” Thor grinned, nursing a plate of his favoured chocolate and sugar covered strawberries he had snaffled from a tray in the fridge “it will take more than…” “SHIT!” Clint exclaimed, and with a loud yell they all jumped back as the soda in his glass was exploding over the top with such veracity it was showering them all in the sticky drink. As Steve and Natasha headed to grab some paper towels, Katie marched over to the freezer and yanked out the ice dispenser tray.

“He’s put fucking Mentos in the ice cubes!” she said with a shake of her head. “Jesus Christ…” “You gotta hand it to him.” Bruce sighed, wiping his glasses off on his shirt 

“I’d like to hand it to him.” she mumbled, “with my fist closed.” Thor gave a chuckle and popped a strawberry in his mouth, before he gave a grimace, gagged and spat it back out onto the plate.

“That’s…” he stood up, nearly pushing Steve over in his attempt to get to the sink. 

Katie watched him as he grabbed a glass of water and filled it from the tap. 

“What...” Natasha looked at Bruce who was examining a piece of the fruit, holding it in front of his nose.

“Salt…” Thor mumbled as he rinsed his mouth out “It isn’t sugar, its salt. He put salt on my Chocolate Sugar Fruit!”

_____

Tony, watching the events unfold on the display in the safety of his office cackled. “Ice Ice baby... not so mighty after all Thunder God.”

_______

*******

“We have to get him back…” Natasha grumbled as they all sat in Katie and Steve’s apartment, having retreated to the relative safety as their living quarters were the one place there was no CCTV, and Katie had the authority to banish JARVIS from earwigging. (Tony had learnt that lesson one day after hearing something he really didn’t want to hear…)

“Believe me I’ve tried.” Katie sighed “And you heard J before, anyone tampers with his equipment and…” She stopped dead. That was it. That was the loophole. With a smirk she looked round the assembled faces. Steve arched an eyebrow at her, he knew that look very well.

“What you thinking?” he asked and she grinned at them all.

“Ok, listen up.” she said, leaning forward. “I have an idea...”

They listened attentively, Clint and Natasha sharing a grin as she outlined her plan whilst Thor slapped his thigh with glee. Steve leaned back in his chair and looked at Banner who was also smiling ear to ear.

“That might just work.” The Doctor said “It’s a pretty good loophole, and we have the stuff in the lab so…” “I’ll need a distraction.” Katie said, “something that’s gonna draw Tony out of his office for long enough for me to do it but…” “That’s easy.” Thor said, “I’m sure I can cause a good deal of noise in the Training Facility, break a few things with my hammer…”

“Fry something.” Steve said, looking round “If you do that then JARVIS won’t be able to fix it remotely, Tony’s gonna have to get his hands dirty.”

“You all know what you’re doing?” Katie grinned as everyone nodded. “Ok, Avengers, let’s do this…“

Operation Payback.

Tony heard the bang seconds before JARVIS spoke

“Mr Stark…”

“What the hell was that?”

“There’s been an incident in the Training Suite.”

“Course there has…” Tony rolled his eyes in exasperation at how stupid they thought he was. He wasn’t falling for a distraction like that. “Where is everyone?” “Miss Stark, Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton are in the shooting range.” Jarvis informed them. Doctor Banner was in his lab, although it appears he is now making his way down to the Training Facility to find out what’s going on. Captain Rogers is already there as is Thor.”

“What’s the incident?”

“It appears Thor has struck the speakers and the access pad with a bolt of lightning.” JARVIS replied “I’m currently assessing the damage but as a result he is locked in. And he isn’t happy.” Tony gave an exasperated groan and pushed his chair from his desk. “Suppose I best go see if I can help…remember what I said, anyone comes in here and tampers with my equipment…” “Of course, Sir…”

When Tony arrived Thor was kicking the door to the training facility, waving his hammer irately.

“Thor!” Steve was stood by the glass, attempting to calm him down. “Don’t buddy, we’ll get you out of there…” “I can get myself out…” Thor blazed, raising his hand and Tony blanched at the fact Thor was threatening to send his hammer straight through the wall. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for the walls and glass to get damaged but they’d only just had it replaced after Steve and Thor had been practicing using Steve’s shield and Mjolnir to cause an outwards blasting shockwave. 

“What’s going on?” Tony asked, and Steve spun to him shooting him a glare.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on…” Thor roared “That infernal song…”

His hammer crackled ominously again and Tony looked back to Steve.

“He was fed up of hearing Star Spangled Man With A Plan ringing out every goddamned time I opened a door.” Steve folded his arms “So he lost his temper. And I can’t say I blame him.” “We’ve talked about this.” Tony looked at Thor “You need to use your words buddy…” “Words, I’ll give you more than words, Stark!” Thor roared “Now get me out of here!”

“JARVIS?” Tony asked, looking at the pad on the door. “Damage report?”

“The Circuit is completely fried Sir.” JARVIS said “I cannot access or override, you will need to do it manually.”

“Great…” Tony mumbled “Let me just go get my tools from the lab.” Mumbling to himself he set off down the corridor and once he was gone, Thor grinned and tossed his hammer in the air as he gave Steve and Banner the thumbs up before he caught it expertly again in his right hand.

“Good job!” Steve nodded with a smile as he pulled his phone out and dialled Katie quickly. “You’re up.” 

****

It took Tony roughly 30 minutes to replace the wires and unlock the door. Thor stormed out, pushed him harshly in the chest before he left down the corridor.

“Guess they don’t have April Fools’ day on Asgard.” Tony mumbled, rubbing at the front of his shirt.

“To be honest Tony, it’s pretty annoying.” Bruce sighed “Can you at least turn it off now, I mean its almost 2 in the afternoon.” “Yeah I suppose…” Tony sighed, before he grinned “it was a pretty good one though, right.” “Hilarious.” Steve deadpanned, his hands falling to his belt buckle. Tony flashed him a grin and a shrug before he gathered up his tools and made his way back down the corridor.

“JAR?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Turn off Prank Spangles will you, before anyone else breaks more of my tower.”

“Right away Sir.” “And I’m assuming from the lack of contact no one’s been in my office tampering with my equipment?” “That’s correct sir.” “Today has been a good day.” Tony grinned to himself.

Once he was back in his office he sat down at his chair, and went through his emails quickly. He absentmindedly scratched at his beard, which felt a little dry to be honest. But he hadn’t oiled it since that morning. Reaching into his drawer he grabbed the small bottle, tipped a good amount onto his hand and spread it across the expertly groomed whiskers before he continued with his work. It took him a few hours but he cleared his inbox and then decided it was time to face the music. Heading down to the common room he found the rest of the team lounging in front of the TV. They were watching Kitchen Nightmares. 

“S’up Kids?” he asked and none of them looked at him. “Ok, alright, I know…sorry if I pranked you but if I buy takeout will that make you forgive me?”

No answer.

“Oh come on!” Tony said, crossing the room, sinking into a spare arm chair. “I’ll get Thai…"

The team exchanged glances before Bruce gave a sigh. He was always the one to cave first, the mild mannered Scientist found it hard to stay outwardly angry, which was ironic when anyone thought about it.

“To be fair, that trick with the water was pretty clever.” he shrugged.

“Yeah, and I suppose the salt strawberries were a little amusing.” Thor said, looking at Katie.

She shrugged, her feet resting in Steve’s lap as he was gently running his fingers up and down her calf.

“Oh come on Kiddo…”  Tony sighed, flopping onto an arm chair.  

“Payback’s a bitch…and so are you.”  she said simply, still not looking at him.

“You’ve never managed to get me back yet.” Tony snorted.

At that point he noticed that Natasha and Clint exchanging smirks. 

“What?”

“Nothing.” Clint said, shaking his head.

“I like your beard” Thor said, grinning “I have always admired how you keep it so neat and groomed. Maybe I should trim mine the same way.” Tony frowned. “Oh is this the part where you pin me down and shave it?” he rolled his eyes “You know I can call my suit to me in like 5 seconds flat.” “We know.” Steve said simply, looking at him. Tony’s frown deepened. The way the Captain’s blue eyes were shining with mirth made him uncomfortable.

He looked round as 6 pairs of eyes were all completely focussed on him now before Katie cracked up laughing.

“I’m sorry, I can’t…I can’t hold…” her laughter grew more and more as she threw her head back against the arm of the sofa “You look ridiculous…” Tony frowned and without a word stood up from the chair and made his way to the bar to glance in the mirrored surface between the shelves.

Oh. Holy. Jesus.

His goatee. His beautiful goatee...was blonde.

He spun round and the rest of the guys in the room cracked up laughing. Steve had his head thrown back, right hand clutching at his chest as Katie wiped tears from her face whilst Natasha doubled over on her seat. Besides her Clint slapped his thigh, his chuckles loud.

“What…how…” Tony spluttered, looking again at his reflection, before he glared back at the group.

“Slipped a little peroxide in your beard oil…” Katie managed to stutter between laughs, Thor’s loud rumbles continued, punctuated every now and then by a snort from Banner.

“JARVIS!” Tony roared “I told you to tell me if anyone went into my office, or the garage, or anywhere in the tower messing with my stuff…” "I take zero responsibility for this...sir” The AI responded “And I believe your instruction was to alert you if anyone entered your office or the garage or anywhere in the tower and messed with your equipment. Technically Miss Stark didn't touch your equipment, only your Male grooming product. I believe they exploited a loophole.” That made the group laugh even harder as Tony went bright red, spluttering obscenities at JARVIS. Eventually he calmed down and sighed, before he glanced at his sister.

“You know I’m almost proud…” he said, shaking his head. “Almost…”

Katie gave him a wink in response. “You know what they say…you can’t kid a kidder, or in this case Kiddo…”

Tony gave a groan which turned into a resigned chuckle. He could always dye it back...

Yes, April Fools’ day was still Tony Stark’s favourite time of year.

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