#SORRY FOR .... the essay? ahem....

[starryeyesmasc]

fuck it. thinking about a girl riding my strap when she figures out how desperate I am to cum just from fucking her.

her hips rock again and she stretches, slick and glistening, around the head of the strap. I whine as I watch her sink down fully, but I can’t move to touch her how I’d like. my hands are neatly tied to the headboard, courtesy of the girl on my lap right now. she laughs at the painfully turned on expression on my face.

“awww. what’s up, darling?” she coos, sighing as she works herself slowly up and down the length of silicone. “am I teasin’ you? is someone getting a little flustered down there?”

any answer I might’ve been able to give fizzles out when she props a hand on my chest to pick up her pace. I drop my head back against the duvet and groan as the orgasm I’d been rapidly nearing comes steaming back. we’ve been at this for at least an hour, and she’s already cum at least three times. all without letting me cum once. I’m struck wordless, desperate, by the sheer weight of my desire for her. so when she begins to lift again I shake my head and whine.

“no, please. please please please.”

she grins and shunts her hips back down fully, completely swallowing up the ruined strap. it’s the visual of her cum from two orgasms ago smearing into my boxers that makes me arch and jolt.

“fuck—oh fuck, I can’t—m’gonna—fuck—”

for one blessed moment, I think she’s going to finally let me cum. then she laughs again and I feel her teeth nip against my neck. “so fuckin’ eager to please, aren’t you? are you actually gonna cum just from this?”

something snaps above me. I don’t need to look up to know I broke the headboard; I felt the tension holding my hands loosen. but before I can move to touch her, a nimble hand pins my wrists above my head.

“ah-ah. no, darling. you look so good and pretty right now. I’m not done usin’ you yet. you just stay still and let me—oh, awww. are you crying? need to cum that badly, do you? fuck, babe. you’re so, so desperate to be good for me, aren’t you?”

I nod instantly; squirming against the euphoric precipice she had me balanced on.

“please,” I sob. “please, fuck, please.”

“well go on then.” she rolls her hips and the sound makes me moan. “be my good desperate slut. cum for me.”

there’s something missing, and she knows it too. she’s just waiting to drag the answer free and I’m too whiny to hold out. her smirk turns wicked and she gives my hands a little shove into the bed.

“but that’s right. you can’t, can you? you need to watch me fuck myself on you again, babe?”

even as she says it, her hips slide back into motion. up, down, languid, just how I like. I’m a horse in the gates, a pulse in the veins, raring to go. all I need is one last push. she pauses when she sinks to the bottom to roll her swollen clit under her fingertips and her head tilts back as her eyebrows furrow.

“mhmm. fuck, you fill me up so fucking much. I could sit right here for hours. c’mon, babe. I know I nearly have you. close those pretty eyes and give me what I want.” she starts into motion again, and this time it’s rough. chasing release. her hips slamming down into mine with slick, wet sounds. she lowers her mouth to my straining neck. “fucking give it to me. cum for me. cum for me.”

her words push me to breaking point, but it’s her low moan in my ear and the resulting wetness dripping into my boxers that sets me off like it always does. I finally hit that sunlit peak and I arch into the golden heat of it as everything in my body freezes in adoration of her. offering up my orgasm to the goddess above me. she can take it, I have no need for it. it’s all for her, every ounce of me. I come down from it slowly, twitching as I pant and whine underneath her. a hand slips over my cheek and her careful thumb strokes my cheekbone.

“there. hey, shhh. there we go. so good. oh, you just couldn’t hold on, could you? my poor girl. yeah, I got you. I’ve got you.”

I squirm again, trying to steal another orgasm while I’m still hazy from the first, but she tightens her grip and holds me steady.

“ah. where’re you goin’? that’s just one. I told you, I’m not done with you yet. I wanna see exactly how much I can make you cum without even touching you.”

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

How's that daybreaker sun analysis goin?:p

Hello! Going well, I'm nearly finished! (I actually finished a little while ago but forgot to add the final touches [the final touches being our dear friend's {*cough* sue *cough*} sona, the coloring completely escaped me]) Should hopefully be posting those soon, but schoolwork threw off my posting schedule and I don't know when I'll push it out, sorry!

[avephelis]

i couldn't stop thinking about it.

i’ve come to the conclusion that modern au chip would have a shelf full of miku figures

[judasgot-it]

Ello o/, may i request again (dk if i can tho, don't feel pressured if not maken), really love the post you made for the request my heart literally- aawkwkw, i have so many things to say to that post but really busy asfck like if i wnated to, i could literally write a essay or thesis statement, */ahem anyway

BSD boys, while having a fighting/argument with s/o they suddenly grip they're s/o's wrist too hard and ended up leaving a mark (they didn't mean to tho ;-;) that reminded the reader's past child abuse/not used to this type of conflict which lead to angst to comfort or just angst hehe. Idk this is just a random 2am thought(my time rn) I have classes later waking up at 4am too…

AHHHHHH omg yes I'm so sorry I haven't like set up any request rules yet which I should do lol, but I'm so shehejwj but I don't have limits on requests! I just try to get to them when I can <3 Also I'm so sorry about the late response! College is hard x[

But also, I wanna do some scenarios for this, so I'm gonna have to only pick a few that I feel I can write the best for this if that's ok cause ngl I feel the mercury retrograde rn,,,

Scenario: Accidentally triggering past abuse/trauma during an argument (Ranpo, Dazai)

Ranpo

Ranpo was a rather loud guy. That's not his fault, since he's only loud whenever he has a reason to be - he's confident because he knows he can get away with it. He's smart enough to survive some of the most dangerous killers, and is bold enough to laugh in their face about it too.

But god is it aggravating as hell whenever you want to truly talk to the man one on one. Sometimes, you just want to have a normal date with him - like a normal couple and do normal couple stuff.

Like right now, you just want to walk down this busy street and not have to listen to him boast about how stupid people were. It was embarrassing how loud he was about it, how the person who got hit with a car could have easily avoided it had they just checked both sides of the street.

A normal conversation to have after witnesses a horrible event, but you could feel the stares from across the street from the mans wife. Especially towards Ranpo, who seemed to have no social boundaries as everyone else in the area seemed to instead be occupied with the normal human behavior of freaking out after witnessing a man flying in the air and being hit by a car.

To save face, you dragged him away, with him still talking about it as if it were a normal everyday thing. In his world, it probably was - but not to you. Not to normal people, who didn't think about death everyday.

"Ranpo, you need to quiet down."

"What? I'm just saying. It was pretty avoidable you know?"

You turned around to glare at him, gripping your enclasped hands tightly. He thought nothing of it, swirling his ramune bottle rather casually. The ball clinked around with each step the both of you took together.

"I know that. But you do know that it's pretty insensitive to say that in front of him and the wife who saw her husband get hit with a car."

"Y/n."

You were forced back as Ranpo stopped on the sidewalk. It was apart of a narrow stretch of road, empty and away from the commotion, which forced you to look at him. He was staring at you with his eyes, as if trying to puzzle something.

"You don't actually care about them."

There was a pause. You blinked once. Then twice.

"What do you mean by that?"

He held your hand tighter, almost painfully so.

"You don't really care about them that much. So why are you defending them?"

His viridian eyes bore into yours, which deeply unsettled you. He meant nothing by it, especially with the iron grip he had on your hand which kept you in your spot.

"Because not everyone is a superfreak like you Ranpo!"

But it made you incredibly uncomfortable.

You felt the need to defend yourself, somehow.

"Some people have 'empathy' which I know is a foreign concept to people like you."

It was as he cocked his head to the side, like a crow trying to understand what you had just told him. It was as if what you just said had gone right through him, like the wind.

"You don't mean that."

He pulled you towards him. You tried to step back, but you only found yourself stepping around and trying to find your balance again.

You flinched when Ranpo reached to balance you, but you still felt the energy from your sudden bout of frustration pumping through your body. It was embarrassing, but your mind and body were reacting all on their own.

Ranpo kept staring at you, looking past your angry scowl and into something deeper.

"I'm not your enemy Y/n, I know you're upset but there's something more."

He left you feeling naked there.

"It's not that deep. You don't need to defend yourself against me."

You looked down, avoiding his eyes. The sidewalk underneath you was rather cracked and abandoned - there was a dandelion growing just underneath your feet, a rather resilient flower.

"I'm not defending myself, I'm just..."

Ranpo lifted your chin up so you could meet his eyes again, which were now softer, as they had quickly figured out the puzzle that he's struggled with.

You looked back at him. A part of you wanted to keep arguing - it was in your nature, to keep fighting. Unfortunately, it was something you've done for a long time, which Ranpo has figured out by now.

Another thing that made you feel a little uncomfortable.

He met you with a cheeky smile, like a little rat. He closed his eyes, his cheeks raising to meet his eyes.

"I know. You're a good person Y/n."

Dazai

"I just don't think you understand. I can't expect you to, but it's not your problem, so why are you so upset about it?"

Dazai was looking at you from the couch, watching as you were once again picking up bottles he had left from one of his drinking binges. He still smelled of last night, wearing the same clothes and smelling of the various drinks he had lost himself in.

"It clearly is my problem. I'm the one cleaning up your mess right now, so how could I not be involved? Dear god, do you ever look at yourself and want to even try to be better?"

Dazai looked at you, sitting up from his previous lounging position. He stared up, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared at you - his eyebags prominent in the early morning sunlight.

"What do you mean 'try' to be better? Have you ever even known what it's like to be like this?"

You rolled your eyes, dragging the bag to the front door so you could later bring it to the dumpster of your apartments. In your eyes, he was clearly being dramatic - sitting like some sort of mafioso, needing only a cigarette to seal the deal.

"Everyone has had it hard at one point Dazai. Losing yourself to alcohol every night and weekend doesn't justify it. You have a life to live you know? It's worth living."

You heard footsteps approach behind you, and looked up to see Dazai standing a little too close for comfort. His body was warm, and you could see the sweat and stains on his bandages. His hair was usually fluffy hair was greasy, but his eyes - they were dark, simply staring down at you.

"What do you know about living?"

"What?"

He had backed you into the wall, his hands now on either side of you, blocking you from exiting the danger that had become him and whatever emotional rage he had thrown himself into.

"You act like you know so much about life but you know nothing! You don't know anything about death or life - I don't think you know anything at all really. You feel all too comfortable making these assumptions about me when you don't know who I am, do you?"

He was smiling but it didn't reach his eyes at all.

You pushed at him, trying to find space to escape from his hold. His clothes and warmth made you want to burn your skin and run at that moment, and you closed your eyes in order to avoid the worst of your fears as you knew he was staring at you with those eyes that seemed to hold nothing but contempt in that very moment.

When you couldn't break free, instead feeling him pressing himself more against you, you felt your eyes begin to tear up.

"Dazai get the fuck away me."

"Or what? What will you do, oh sweet belladonna?"

You could feel tears build up in your eyes as your pushing did nothing against him - so you resorted to what you knew would work.

You raised your knee as hard as you could, and watched as Dazai fell hard on the ground, falling like a sack of potatoes. He writhed around, clutching his pearls while you gripped your pants, trying to soothe your nerves.

"Dazai I'm..."

You looked around your apartment, looking at the mess that it had become because of him. You looked back down at him, who was still on the ground and wasn't saying anything.

"Dazai I'm going to leave for a bit. Sorry."

I'm so sorry this took so long waaaaahh I'm a slow writer I'm working on it tho ;( also I was thinking about doing Jouno but I felt that it would've been super harsh so maybe I'll do him another time

[chaotic-neutral-ferret]

i’m screaming over lyrics and the implications. lemme just prepare my fuckin motf essay over here. it’s mostly Whizzvin so be prepared. this is all my interpretation and if you have different thoughts then please share, i love talking falsettos. also sorry for any formatting issues i wrote this on my phone. (analysis after the read more)

ahem. so in Marvin at the Psychiatrist (part one). Marvin when prompted “Do you love him”, he replies with “sorta kinda” and explains further that he sorta needs him but that he makes him smile and feel smart. and then him and Mendel go on for a while.

And then after Mendel’s “Would he kill you?” Marvin seems to contemplate his own feelings and sort of retracts his former statements saying “But I love him, and I need it. If he loved me, I’d concede it”. He admits he does love Whizzer, but he can’t concede to his whims because he doesn’t perceive Whizzer as loving him in return. Which at this point in their relationship makes sense. Marvin despite cheating on Trina desperately wants a wholly committed relationship and Whizzer isn’t quite on the same track.

Whizzer and Marvin in March of the Falsettos love to poke at each other’s insecurities to harm, not just to joke and make each other laugh (as they do in Falsettoland). And this builds to the boiling point in The Chess Game. In which (OBC not Revival), Whizzer reveals that he can in fact beat Marvin at chess after Marvin repeatedly says “Winning is everything to me” (something we know to be at least mildly false) and Whizzer pokes at Marvin’s desire to be enough for him with “Nothing is everything to me. Except sex… And money”.

Marvin’s “need” to win in this is a kind of analogy for their relationship. He needs to win at their relationship, win Whizzer’s affections, win his lifelong fantasy of a perfect family. Whizzer despite never really fully on board with Marvin’s desires finally says no. He doesn’t want to be a housewife or play into Marvin’s fantasy. And Marvin makes the impulsive, but likely logical to him, decision that it’s over and kicks Whizzer out.

Further, in The Games I Play Whizzer describes his feelings for Marvin as love. When he prompts himself directly he has a similar first instinct to Marvin with “Ask me if I love him. It depends on the day”. But later in the song without direct prompting he admits “It hurts not to love him” and “It’s hard (to love him) when part of him is off playing family charades”. He doesn’t want to need Marvin (“Ask me if i need him. Get him out of my way”), but he does love Marvin.

Then in Marvin Hits Trina, Trina and Whizzer call Marvin a maniac, a clown, untrained, uncouth. He’s sweet but mean. And Whizzer leaves off with another direct prompting “Do I love him? No”

Finally in I Never Wanted to Love You, Whizzer says “ I never wanted to love you. I never wanted, til’ death do we two part…How do I start not to love you?” Admitting one last time (in MOTF) that he does love Marvin despite how much he doesn’t want to. And Marvin says he never wanted to love any of them (Trina, Whizzer, Jason, Mendel) even though he does (in his own bizarre ways).

Both Marvin and Whizzer when given direct prompting from themselves or others redirect and avoid admitting their love for each other. But when they contemplate it and speak without a direct line of questioning they have to admit to themselves that they love the other despite their behavior to the contrary.

[divinelolita]

i wanna laugh and i wanna laugh rn😪

its been so long(literally a few days) since i sent smthhh

ill boost u bae dw

AHEM

mk so the whole band(um seperate fic duh) with a bf who be freakishly nice n shit(i feel like ivd sent this bf dont expose me if i did) like if a band member accidentally hit him in the face he would say sorry and say some dumb shit like "im so sorry i shouldn't have been in the way of your elbow. " like what💀💀

or if someone was trying to confess or smth he'd be like "i really don't want to hurt you but no." maybe even as a band memeber is right next to them

and arguments with this mf is probably hell like if it was a band members fault he would accidentally make them think it wasn't and it was his(sometimes its on purpose but they figure it out later) OFC these r examples use what u want🧍🏾

BAHSBDKDBDO I CANFT STOP LAUGHING ON THE FIRST ONE

THE BAND X EXTREMELY NICE READER

teehee i have an essay to write but ummmmm that doesn't matter rn 😇 uhh also if it's bad sorry idk what's going on with me

BILL:

・He's so confused how you can be nice all the time

・He really does try to be nice but he just snaps sometimes omg 💀

・He wonders when your breaking point is

・Like if he turns around carrying something and wacks your fucking face he's so confused why you're not YELLING at him

"Yeah and then- *WHACK* -OH SHIT M/N I'M SO SORRY ARE YOU OKAY?! -"

"No, no Bill I'm fine! It didn't hurt that much."

"..what."

・He just stares at you with his jaw dropped low, slowly nodding to himself

・Or like if he knocks something over and you apologize for it

(I've done that so many times...)

・Reassures you it's not your problem 🤞

TOM:

・nahh you got him FUCKED UP bae.

・He doesn't understand how you can be so nice, I feel like he's a brutally honest mf 💀

・If your in public and somebody is being rude to you and you're just kinda standing there, still staying calm???

・He's just looking at your features trying to find ONE small piece of anger or frustration

・I feel like y'all are couple opposites.

・Like he'd obviously have a soft spot for you 🤗 but he doesn't see the reason to be nice to others when he knows it's not his fault

・Arguments with him oh my god...

・If you keep apologizing and saying it's your fault he eventually sits next to you to comfort you, assuring you everything's okay.

"It's not your fault, M/N. I promise.."

・You'd somehow warm him up a bit, he barley notices himself becoming more kind and carefree.

GEORG:

・was his color green or blue omg i can't remember

・He's...so confused.

・Like if he accidentally smacks you with his elbow and you aren't crying or cursing

"M/N? M/N ARE YOU-"

"I'm okay! It just stung for a second haha..!"

"..."

"..."

・He gets you but he doesn't.

・He just can't see himself being so giddy and happy and nice.

・Anger turns into confusion in arguments, why are you so mad at yourself?

・Loves you so fucking much though, always reminding you that you are amazing and didn't do anything wrong.

GUSTAV

・AHHHH HE GETS YOU!!!!!

・He understands you so much oh my god, he just loves you even more now.

・He'd also try to keep you from blaming yourself.

・Like if he knocks something over and you apologize.

"Oh shit I'm sorry I should have moved it-"

"No honey you're fine, I should've looked where I was going.."

・MWA MWA HE LOVES YOU

・Very slightly confused on how you never snap, how you always keep calm

・He wishes he could be like you bae 💔💔

・In arguments he just tries to calm himself and you down, actually sitting down and talking about how you both feel

OH SHITTT I NEED TO DO THAT ESSAY

[idkmanwtfishumanityanymore]

y’all someone needs to ban me from this channel ISTG I just got SO HEATED with someone in a comment section for saying Monty and Puppet are in the right for mocking BloodMoons’ brothers death💀

here’s my comment if y’all were curious. (People who are easily upset/affected by BM’s trauma DO NOT READ FURTHER. I went feral💀🙏)

“You do NOT. want to start this fight. Ahem.”

“FIRST OFF, no one fucking deserves to have a serious loss in their life mocked. I don’t care what they’ve done, if Monty and Puppet want to be any better than BloodMoon, they wouldn’t stoop to his level.”

“SECOND, the murderer part? Have you just COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN that they have a programmed bloodlust they CAN’T GET RID OF? Eclipse programmed them to kill, it’s all they’ve ever known. OF COURSE THEY’RE GOING TO KILL PEOPLE IF IT’S THE ONLY THING THEY KNOW.”

“THIRD, I know you didn’t mention it, but they weren’t “incapable of redemption”, when they were staying with Foxy and FC, (sure they had a bomb in their head, but) they were the most “tame” and calm we’d ever seen. Still snarky and making threats left and right, but they accepted the infinitely-bouncing-chicken and played with it for a while, they mostly just sat in silence when they weren’t being bothered, and if I remember correctly- FC and BloodMoon ended up sparring or something, or it was atleast mentioned that FC wanted to spar with them-“

“FOURTH, EVERYONE THEY’VE EVER TRUSTED, BETRAYED OR HURT THEM. Eclipse, their original creator, already betrayed them by forcing an inescapable Lust for blood on them. Lunar, Lunar was using them to get rid of Eclipse, and inevitably abandoned them. Eclipse AGAIN, not only did he MAKE THEM INTO a backup for himself, and forced his way into their minds, but he also MADE THEM go back to the Pizzaplex when they were perfectly happy on the streets killin’ hobos like TrashMan. KillCode, he claimed to be their father, but did he ever really act like it? Sure he gave them advice and blood, but what else did he do for them? Because from what I remember, it sure wasn’t much. Ruin, Ruin rebuilt them after dying to Sun, and SPECIFICALLY PROGRAMMED them to NEED someone to control them, Ruin claimed to care about them, promised their body had nothing strange about it, but when talking to Solar, BloodMoon was informed of a secret, hidden weak point in their casing, which they VERY MUCH were not happy with. Solar, before they even agreed to help him get back Sun and Moon and defeat Ruin, they had a panic attack because they were afraid they’d be tricked and used again- WHICH HEY GUESS WHAT? IT HAPPENED AGAIN JUST LIKE THEY FEARED, Solar promised them they could go free as long as they didn’t go after the Celestial family, or their friends, which up until Solar said he wanted to KILL THEM, they were listening to! They were back out on the town, killing people like the first time they ran away from someone that claimed could be trusted, (The one before having been Lunar) and they only decided to attack any of the family AFTER Solar said he wanted to kill them. (Not including Lunar, that was before the deal with Solar) Rotaerc/Rodrick, creator in disguise, also just using them as a weapon. StitchWraith, literally threatened to separate them and show them what “True loneliness” felt like or some shit. Monty and Foxy, sure they didn’t TRUST those two, but they were still used. Everyone they’ve ever trusted, has used them, betrayed their trust, or hurt them.”

“SPEAKING OF ECLIPSE AGAIN, WHEN STITCHWRAITH SAID SOMETHING THAT REMINDED THEM OF ECLIPSE, THEY HAD A REACTION I CAN ONLY DESCRIBE AS TRAUMATIZED, AT THE THOUGHT OF BEING STUCK WITH SOMEONE LIKE ECLIPSE AGAIN.”

“MAY I ALSO MENTION THAT IN THE EPISODE WITH A REAL BLOOD MOON IN THE SKY, THEY MENTION THAT THEY DON’T LIKE HAVING THIS BLOODLUST? WHEN THEY DON’T CONSUME/SPILL BLOOD, IT’S ALMOST LIKE THE SYMPTOMS OF A SUBSTANCE WITHDRAWAL, WHICH ARE PAINFUL AS HELL.”

“Sorry for the Essay, but I’m 100% willing to go OFF on anyone who just completely disregards that the twins had trauma too. All the villains except maybe Creator, have their own traumas, and I’m sick and tired of everyone ignoring that.”

Y’ALL SOMEONE GET ME AWAY FROM THIS CHANNEL BEFORE I LITERALLY ATTACK SOMEONE AHDHHDHDHFCH /hj

Edit: SCREAMS AND CRIES SUPERSTAR BONGOS REPLIED TO MY COMMENT I COPY-PASTED TO HERE MAKING FUN OF MY AGGRESSION OVER AN OPINION- IDKWHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY💀🙏

[toxycodone]

Please write that Thistle essay.

I feel like I’m losing braincells every time I see someone infantilizing Thistle as if he’s some kind of dumb elementary schooler and not the most successful dungeon lord in history who technically controls the entire Golden Country (or what’s left of it) and spent years on magic research.

Legit saw several posts that say something along the lines of “If you think about it, he’s not actually insane, he’s just a kid”. I’m sorry, but it was directly stated in the manga that sooner or later, all dungeon lords go insane. Marcille was a mess after just one day, meanwhile Thistle has been living in this nightmare for thousand years, in addition to having so much more trauma and responsibilities fucking him up.

He’s obviously way to young for all this bullshit, but he’s not a literal child. Give him some credit.

(While we're at it, I'm politely encouraging/proposing you to write more Thistle x reader - there's so devastatingly little of this type of content. Preferably bottom!Thistle... ahem. You didn't hear me say that.)

GOD MAYBE ONE DAY IF I HAVE TIME.

Dude anon you’re so fucking woke for this. Like. Thistle is crazy. He’s insanely smart and strategic and like. HIS TRAUMA. IT RUNS SO DEEP. He is not just some kid or a bratty child at ALL

like in my mind the way he behaves is like a pretty common trauma response (mixed with the paranoia from all the shit of being dungeon lord). He’s avoiding any type of personal growth and instead focusing on every little outside detail he can control which makes him super emotionally and mentally stunted in a way. Does that make sense

I honestly wonder if people will keep up the “thistle is baby” stuff when it’s revealed in the anime he’s been executing golden kingdom members. 💀 he’s literally keeping these people alive and TERRORIZING THEM. IN THE SAKE OF “FINDING DELGAL” dude his mind is just. Paranoia soup like I said earlier.

(I’m satisfied w him getting his desires eaten only because he’s so far gone mentally there’s no sort of redemption for him. Like Mithrun tried the hard way and Laios tried to be kind but NEITHER WORKED. Thistle. Man. He’s so. Yeah.)

[faebaex]

author note: woohoo assignments are finished so i can write again! also my first Riddle fic! i found his character quite endearing recently, i don't know why. i wanted to pair him with a more carefree, chaotic reader who'll help loosen him up since his overblot. so have some Riddle who still takes himself a little too seriously, who also doesn't understand his feelings (*≧ω≦*) i think its cute!

characters: Riddle Rosehearts x GN!Reader

"Off with your head!!"

The familiar sound of clanging metal resounded through the air before you felt a heavy weight settle around your neck. You ran a finger along the cool metal lock as your Housewarden glared at you, cheeks red with anger.

A small laugh bubbled from your chest before you gave Riddle a huge, glee filled grin. "Thanks, Housewarden! I've always liked how the collar goes with my uniform!" With that, you spun on your heel and walked off with a skip in your step, leaving Riddle sputtering behind you.

"Y-y/n get back here! I expect a 3000 word apology essay and--"

Your good natured laugh was the only response he received, sending his face redder and redder.

Ever since his overblot incident, Riddle had been trying his best to change his ways. He tried his best to not react so violently when rules were broken, to keep cool headed when things sprung out from his control. To his credit, he had been doing quite well. Sure, he wasn't perfect, but he was able to overlook small rule breaks, and was getting better at approaching slightly more serious rule breaking offences with more composure. But there was one exception.

You.

Riddle believed you had some uncanny ability to get under his skin. At one point he even theorised that it was your unique magic. All Riddle knew was that every time he saw your carefree smile, his cheeks would flush and his stomach would twist and turn into knots.

He chalked it up to anxiety you caused him with your antics. Yes, that must be it. That was the reason that his palms would sweat every time you approached him, why his throat would tighten every time you gave him an excuse for your behaviour, why his cheeks would suddenly heat up every time he saw your cute, little smile--

Riddle startled as that rogue thought popped in his head, feeling blood rush to his cheeks at the subconscious omission. He shook his head fiercely, as if that would chase away his illicit thought. Where did that come from? Whatever, it mattered not. He was your Housewarden, and as a student of his dorm he would bring you into order.

It had been a week since he had collared you and tasked you with an apology essay, yet he had not received it. Clearly you intended to continue your unruly behaviour, and he would nip this in the bud before your actions encouraged your impressionable freshmen friends.

It did not take Riddle long to track you down. He found you in the Heartslabyul lounge, sitting on the floor with papers fanned out around you. Riddle cringed at the sight, even if you weren't breaking one of the Queen of Hearts' rules, you were certainly breaking basic dorm rules of keeping areas clean and tidy.

"Y/N."

You looked over your shoulder, a smile blooming across your face at the sight of your Housewarden standing over you. You dropped the papers in your hand, swiveling on the tile so your back was no longer to him. "Hello Housewarden! How are you today?"

"Ahem. You owe me an apology essay, Y/N. Why haven't I received it yet? May I also remind you that such mess is not permitted in the lounge area." Despite his cold response, your smile didn't shift and you reached behind you blindly, grabbing hold of the papers you were previously holding.

"Oh! I was just sorting all of my homework into order by deadline. Because I haven't been able to use magic in class, I've been assigned extra homework so I don't fall behind..." you explained, having the decency to look a bit sheepish before your smile suddenly turned a tad cheeky, "since you didn't give me an official deadline, it hasn't been a priority. Sorry!"

Riddle's previous severe expression morphed into shock. You had actually attended classes, even with the handicap of the collar? He had half assumed you'd follow Ace's lead and skip your classes in hopes of getting your collar off quicker some other way.

"See, I didn't forget!" Your voice interrupted his thoughts as you waved a piece of A4 paper, which indeed was titled "apology essay to Riddle". Riddle's eyes slid past your face to the papers in your hands, and the further papers scattered around you.

"... I'm impressed you still endeavored to attend classes," You beamed a smile at him and his cheeks flushed, "h-however, I am not willing to wait much longer for you essay. In consideration of your circumstances..." Riddle paused, his traitorous cheeks flushing further as you looked up at him with hopeful eyes, "I-i will give you one more week. By the end of that weekend, I expect your essay in my hands."

If your smile was bright before, it was absolutely dazzling now. Riddle cleared his throat and started to step backwards, planning his retreat before his thoughts betrayed him again and he risked embarrassing himself. "Of course, I trust you will manage your time effectively to ensure all homework is completed on time."

"Thank you, Housewarden! And don't worry, that's what caffeine is for!"

Riddle's step faltered and he felt affronted, quickly whipping his head around to scold you, "Do not forget that rule 153 states that only herbal tea may be drank in the evenings!" Your carefree giggle floated through the air and you sent a wink his way, and Riddle felt his ears burn. How did you manage to make him feel this way with such simple gestures? It was maddening. He quickly stormed out of the lounge before he embarrassed himself any further.

You had been working through most of the nights since your conversation with Riddle in the lounge, trying to get through your mounds of homework. Ace mocked you and Deuce sympathised, but you didn't mind so much. Sure, you didn't have any free time and you were barely getting any sleep, but you'd rather not deal with a detention from Trein, or worse - Crewel.

You had decided to set your workspace up in the library today, knowing you'd be able to get through a fair bit of your work as Ace wouldn't follow you in here, and Deuce had club activities. But there was one thing you didn't expect...

With the library being so warm, and so quiet, you weren't expecting to get so comfortable. You were fighting against your drooping eyes, constantly having to restart the line you were reading when you realised you hadn't been paying attention at all.

... Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if you took a nap. Just a little nap. Like, five minutes... Before you had even finished fully convincing yourself, you had already pushed your book back and rested your head on your arm. Yeah... You'll just rest your eyes for five minutes...

As you slept peacefully, way over the five minutes you had allotted yourself, you were completely oblivious to the person who stopped beside you and the sigh that fell from their lips. Your exhaustion played its part, as you didn't wake at the soft sound of shuffling, and didn't even twitch as a school blazer was gently laid over your sleeping form, simply cuddling into its warmth, much to the fluster of the one who laid it upon you...

[misskattylashes]

Instead of working today I have begun my concept album essays

The Arctic Monkeys and concept albums

Here is where I argue that Whatever People Say I Am, AM, TBHC and The Car are concept albums

Part One

Whatever People Say I am That’s What I’m Not (2006)

As I have said before, this whole album is a rock opera waiting to be written. The whole thing starts with the lines ‘anticipation has the habit to set you up, for disappointment in evening entertainment but, tonight there’ll be some love, tonight there’ll be a ruckus yeah regardless of what’s gone before’

This sums up the whole frigging album. Most of it is set up over one night on the town. There is the disappointment in love (Mardy Bum, Dancefloor, Dancing Shoes). Ruckuses come in the form of When the Sun Goes Down, Ritz to the Rubble and Riot Van. 

The album ends with A Certain Romance which once again sums up everything that has happened that night. ‘Don't get me wrong, though, there's boys in bands’, ‘And kids who like to scrap with pool cues in their hands, And just 'cause he's had a couple o' cans, He thinks it's all right to act like a dickhead (Riot Van/Ritz to the Rubble)

I would argue that there are two queer coded songs on this album. One being ‘You Probably Couldn’t See For the Lights’ that Alex reckoned was about Eva from The Little Flames…course it was Alex. Course it was Eva you made a bee-line for to teach you the chords to Put Your Dukes Up John…

The other one I would argue is Dancing Shoes – the red flag for me is the phrase ‘shit shock horror you’ve seen your future bride’ which to me screams of Northern working class expectation to marry some lass you probably met in a club. Also ‘so what you scared for? Well, don’t you always do the same? It’s what you’re there for but no’ which to me is that he’s there because he is expected to be but he doesn’t want to be because deep down it isn’t what he wants.

AM

In my opinion AM is a concept about loneliness and Alex being mucked about by Miles at a time when Miles wasn’t certain of his sexuality (I have been watching several young Miles interviews lately and his attempts to shoehorn women into them is quite painful). It is also an album with several mentions of secrets (Do I Wanna Know, Fireside, I Wanna Be Yours)

It starts with Do I Wanna Know…let’s look at the lyrics

(Baby we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

Here we possibly go back to our ‘Midnight’ theme (also explored in Knee Socks and  Pattern by TLSP) and Miles’ possible guilt around his sexuality. He’s willing to be with Alex alone at night, but daytime, openly is a different thing altogether. 

‘I'm sorry to interrupt it's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you’

Remember the famous ‘it’s rare we don’t look like we’re about to snog’ interview?

R U Mine

I'm a puppet on a string (ahem)

some velvet morning (as previously discussed Lee Aizlewood/Nancy Sinatra, loved by Miles)

Unfair we're not somewhere misbehaving for days (I mean come on…misbehaving)

Well, are you mine? (Are you mine tomorrow?)

Are you mine? (Or just mine tonight?)

This goes back to our theme that the person is willing to be with him at night but generally treats him like a dirty little secret during the day

One for the Road

I think this one could be a mixed song. 

‘From the bottom of your heart

The relegation zone

I saw this coming from the start’

Once again we’re back to Miles dumping him but the rest of the song hints at loneliness and maybe Alex trying to hook up with someone else after a drunken party.

Arabella

Controversial opinion ahead – I don’t think Arabella is Alexa, Arielle, Miles or Uncle Tom Cobley and all

Arabella is Alex

Okay I am going to go deep here and people probably won’t agree but what the hell. Alex has a lot of feminine energy I think that is commonly agreed. He doesn’t get called slut for nothing. I think Arabella is the woman he would like to be, she is a woman who is highly desired by men (hello Alex flirting with numerous attractive men on various occasions), I would even go one further and say quite possibly she is the woman he wishes he could be, because at this time Miles was still screwed up about his sexuality and indeed if Alex was ‘Arabella’ he could be with ‘her’ without feeling guilty.

I Want It All

‘Ain't it just like you to kiss me and then hit the road

Leave me listening to The Stones

2000 Light Years From Home’

Here we go again (and also Miles has referenced the Stones in several interviews)

‘Blind faith

Heartache

Mind games

Mistakes

My sweet fireball

My sweet rigmarole

I want it all’

This reminds me a bit of the theme of The Wonder. Basically you’re a pain in the arse but I still want you.

No1 Party Anthem

This is a song about loneliness and the meaningless world our hero inhabits in LA (see also I Ain’t Quite Where I Think I AM) 

‘She calls the folks who run this her oldest friends’ (makes me think of some vacuous fame whore – I’m sure Alex has known lots of these)

‘She's a certified mind blower knowing full well that I don't

I may suggest there's somewhere from which I might know her’ 

I find this lyric really interesting. He is saying he doesn’t know this girl is a mind-blower (why, because he isn’t that familiar with women?) but he is trying to get off with her anyway because he is drunk and lonely. 

Mad Sounds

Is basically just Alex wanting to sound like Lou Reed (joke).  It’s just a cute little tune about how music can take you back to a happy place when you’re at your lowest.

Fireside

Interestingly I read the other day that this is the only song on the record Alex wrote in London not LA, so we’re presuming his ‘fuse’ was somewhere else (LA?). We can never ignore the words ‘fuse’ and ‘fire’ (Little Flames). What is also interesting is when AM played this on The Car Tour, Alex changed the lyrics.

The original goes

‘When you're ‘losing’ and your fuse is fireside’

But on the tour on every occasion, he sung;

‘When you’re ‘moving’ and your fuse is fireside’

Which I think is kind of cute, because presuming now all is well on Planet Milex. He is indeed ‘moving’ while he is on tour. Not losing like in the original one.

Why Do You Only Call Me When You’re High

I think this is quite possibly to a casual hook up…

It sort of feels like I'm running out of time

I haven't found what I was hoping to find

This sort of points to someone who can’t have who they want so they are settling for second best..someone he only bothers with when he’s off his head.

Snap Out of It

I think this song possibly relates to my theory of Miles and his issues with his sexuality. Especially the lines;

Forever isn't for everyone

Is forever for you?

It sounds like settling down or giving up

But it don't sound much like you girl (we all know Miles uses female pronouns obvs)

Knee Socks

I have covered Knee Socks 1,882,882 times! Mean Streets, Vespas, Be My Baby, the fact that Alex was always wearing that bloody sky blue Lacoste around the time of writing TAOTU in his house with Miles. Don’t forget Miles is also a footie fan and likes to play and indeed footballers wear knee socks. And obviously the ultimate ‘when the zeros line up on the twenty four hour clock’ 00:00 Midnight. Mr Fucking Midnight!!

I Wanna Be Yours

Now, to me, like A Certain Romance summarises WPSIAMTWIM, then I Wanna Be Yours summarises the whole of this album. The record starts with Alex asking Miles how he feels about him, and we go through a whole journey of Alex’s loneliness and confusion in his seemingly unrequieted love, casual hook-ups to fill the voids, and worries about his own sexuality. But at the end of the day, all he wants is to be Miles’. All the things he wants to be are things that serve – a vacuum cleaner, a car, a coffee pot, an electricity meter, setting lotion in the original JCC version there is mention of teddy bears and dreamboats. Alex just wants to serve the person he idolises. 

Part Two coming soon

How TBHC is about how Alex blames fame and the modern world for the mess his life is in and how The Car is about a him reflecting on his life so far…

[landofourwins]

Really appreciate the essay, thank you so much for giving me your time.

I may have time admit that since I am Italian I initially felt like a “need”(?) to cheer for Charles, and at the start it almost also worked fine. I was like, yuppie Ferrari yeah, and then I just let myself be a little mire unbiased and realised that I just- his racing didn’t really do anything to me.

I looked at Carlos, I felt like the literal rainbow could shine out of his car when he was driving because oh God! The simplest explanation as to why I love Carlos is that he is such an intelligent and strategical driver that for a silly girl like me who has some difficulties with getting a hang on the technical part of F1 he is the best driver to understand what it actually means to race.

I can’t tell you if that front wing design is good or bad for the life of me, but I can tell you with certainty that Carlos flipping through a pantone magazine to decide how much pressure he should put on his brakes and tyres in Silverstone 2024 is one of the hottest things I have ever seen.

Charles doesn’t give me that, I can objectively see that he is a tremendously talented driver but I think he relies too much on that without realising that F1 isn’t just Ferrari’s pitwall making decisions for him. When he said “I’m going to start thinking for myself” my first thought was that, don’t worry Charles, Ferrari is already thinking about you and just you, the real problem is that you should think “by yourself” which is different.

This year Lando started giving me the same feeling as Carlos, which is the reason why I started liking him so much. And to be fair, I feel much more comfortable in blogs dedicated to Carlos/Lando than blogs dedicated to Charles.

The latter always look like there must be a divine intervention of some sorts, while I prefer the critical thinking, I prefer taking about the strategies and reading the data and thinking about what could’ve been done in millions hypothetical scenarios.

I literally saw someone say that Charles got angry at Carlos after the race because he wanted a possibility to stay closer on the track to Max(?).

Like, what the hell?

Babe this is a sport, it’s not yandere simulator.

So, again, your blog makes me feel comfortable and happy and so thank you for your answer.

Even if I am writing in anon I want to specify that J am not completely against Charles, I am against the santification of Charles and lestappen, I am against the hate other drivers get because of Charles, I am against Charles when his actions and words become disrespectful to other drivers or even his own team mechanics, something that Lando never did and yet he is being accused of.

You could say anything about Lando, that perhaps some of his answers were immature or that he should’ve thought twice before speaking, alright. But he always held Max with high respect (he said it a billion times, and Max is still so proud of him and talks good about him so I don’t see why we shouldn’t believe it) and he always thanked his team and brought the fault to himself even when it wasn’t his own (e.g. Hungary).

Charles… well, this last weekend speaks for itself.

Thank you ❤️ (sorry for the essay 😭)

no thank YOU for letting me write an essay and yap my heart out!!

i didn't have anything like that, the last time a driver from my country raced was before i was even born, so like yeah. here it's a huge toss up of fans, like of course mainly ferrari, merc, mclaren and red bull.

the men mostly red bull. the young people mclaren. the old white duded ferrari. and merc some other older but not young people. but yeah, most people i've met (the three f1 fans at my school, my cousins and such) are mclaren fans strangely enough.

shit i'm yapping again sorry!! but i do understand feeling the need to cheer for him giving you're italian!!

i'm not saying charles is a bad driver, but like there are better people for sure (ahem carlos). but like when i got into the sport i also like tried to make myself like charles (and lestappen), but like as time went on i just couldn't.

yes!! carlos appreciation!! i stand by the opinion that no matter who ferrari dropped, they would have been in the shit. but carlos, he's just got something special that few others have.

carlos is definitely an amazing driver and just like overall: smart, if that makes sense.

i have really seen only one lando/carlos blog that's isn't really amazing. but other than that, i'd say lando/carlos blogs are the more welcoming ones. i've talked about this with a friend multiple times, but we only pick fights when you say something about our driver, i'd say we mostly keep to ourselves (till i'm pissed and start instigating)

but i do agree, this little circle of tumblr lando specifically blogs have my heart, it's to me a community like no other. yapping again sorry!!

that reminds me of people trying to constantly bring lestappen shit onto track. "oh look how they fought they're so in love" no babes, no.

I LOVE THAT "this is a sport, not a yandere simulator" people absolutely need to start realizing that omfg, i love rpf as much as the next person. but let's look at a key word here fiction. it's not real. two drivers aren't fucking.

awww thank you for that, it makes me happy to know at least one person is comfortable on my blog 💕💕

i get that, but i am completely against sharl. i said this in a post once i think. but i liked sharl when i first got into the sport, then in spain (i think) he threw me off a bit. tried to ignore it. and i'll be honest here, i was happy when he won monza cause i was so pissed at oscar and i was like well if lando can't win it i don't fucking want oscar to, so yeah, i'll take a sharl win above that.

and then, good lordy, vegas. i feel i've said enough about that, but i just decided to fully put on my anti sharl cloak and go with it.

again, double standards!!

none of the drivers think twice before speaking. i know for a fact everyone on that grid has said worse shit than lando and NEVER were crucified for it.

this last weekend definitely does. and i'm happy his true colours finally showed.

no again, thank YOU!!! i love essays and please continue leaving them!! 💞💞

[babacontainsmultitudes]

always always thinking about your post that was like “normal has a very high threshold for being loved that is nearly impossible to meet and he will do *anything* to feel validated” and then today in the discord during the part where willy reveals it could’ve been either normal or scary, will said “willy fucked up normal would burn the entire world down for the tiniest crumb of validation” and just. screaming screaming forever about this boy’s inability to ever feel loved enough, he is every webweaving post about always devouring and never feeling full from love, this boy is RAVENOUS and it’s hard to understand how the oak good-boy morality can even supersede that, he has every trait imaginable to become a villain and it feels like the only thing preventing that is the desire to be good, bc tbh I don’t think he wants to be good more than he wants to be loved

SORRY FOR TAKING ALMOST TWO FUCKING WEEKS TO ANSWER THIS ANON!

Eheh, firstly *thank you* because this message is very sweet and made me extremely happy. The post you’re talking about took a good while to write and came with a lot of anxiety so it’s very nice to hear that you’ve kept fragments of it with you, I really do appreciate that!!! 💜

I’d debated for a bit on answering this privately to be honest with you, as not every fire I’ve sparked is one whose flames I wish to fan, so to speak, but everything you wrote is just so on-point and well-articulated that I couldn’t resist. Otherwise. *Ahem*. I know it's very very silly to respond to a response about an essay with what is essentially another essay, but you see, in thinking of how to answer your message, I got a little caught amongst many other things that have been on my mind... And I've seen some takes that have annoyed me for one reason or another and couldn't decide how to address those and. Well. Ultimately I decided that the stuff I wanted to talk about was connected *enough* to the stuff brought up in your message (as well as in my original post) that I could put it all together, soooooooo if you'll entertain me rambling once more~

Let's start by saying that, I recently saw a take going around stating that “Scary’s internal issues caused her external issues while Normal’s external issues caused his internal issues” (among a number of other statements that I frankly found pretty questionable), and I must say, for reasons that I hope to explain, I disagree with this assertion on both accounts!

In Scary’s case, this statement completely erases and undermines the trauma of her dad walking out, and what that does not only to her confidence and sense of self-worth, but to her relationship with her mother as well. And the degree of the impact of this external trauma on her internal view towards and treatment of herself is clear as day just by looking at the stark contrast between Terri and Scary. Scary (Terri) is someone who once had confidence in herself and could find validation and motivation internally, most recently evidenced by Terri's words of encouragement to Scary whilst under beacon of hope:

But then her dad leaves, and things get harder at home, and Scary starts to fight with her mom (her mom who she once called her best friend!!!), and she starts to feel worthless and unlovable- something that only gets worse with time as Willy alienates her from the rest of the group, case in point with this revealing exchange:  

No one’s told her they’re proud of her in a long time (sound familiar??),

her teachers at school shut her down when she tries to speak her mind or otherwise dismiss her behavior as “acting out” seemingly without any sort of intervention or attempt to actually check in with her,

[the above teen fact is from episode 31]

Only then, in response to her diminished sense of self-worth does she begin to cut herself off from the rest of the world and from her former self, most importantly quitting soccer (which we know matters a lot to her!),

and those things leave her even more vulnerable and supportless and ashamed. Not to mention all the mixed emotions she must feel when Terry walks into the picture, between actually liking him but not being able to see his love as genuine due to her relationship with her bio dad and all the frustration and shame she must feel as a result.

This is not to claim that Scary’s internal struggles do not inform a lot of what happens to her and the people around her over the run of the season- of course they do! (In fact some of the later things mentioned above are examples of that- I guess I got a bit carried away). But Scary’s major internal struggles that affect her throughout the course of the adventure are preceded by a slew of important external events that negatively affect her psyche and are in many cases out of her control. Scary’s internal struggles did not originate in a vacuum, and I absolutely would not say that they “caused” the bulk of what she has been through.

Unlike Scary, Norm’s excessive dependency on external validation to feel like he’s worth anything begins when he is very young. [Emphasis on “excessive” here, since obviously everyone requires validation from others to some degree, the point being just that this trait is so very pronounced in Normal and, as I argued a bit in the post anon is referring to, usually the most important factor informing his courses of action, superseding (but not implying the absence of) any desire to be good and help those around him. Will’s statement (the one which anon quotes) seems to corroborate this.] We know that things go so far back from Sparrow’s account in episode 17:

It’s important that this is about Normal’s kindergarten experiences too, because it tells us that Normal’s predominant internal issues go back farther than this and hence were not caused in and of themselves by his peers- instead being perhaps more fundamental to who he is as a person.

This is not to say that external events do not exacerbate the state of Normal’s psyche. In his youth most notably, we can infer that he interpreted Hero’s treatment (which of course he did not understand at the time to be her training) as favoritism, and I think it’s pretty clear by this point that his resentment of her is tied to the degradation of self-esteem that he experienced as a result.

Then of course there is the dance. Sparrow’s words to Normal during the dance obviously consist of a very pivotal moment for Norm within the context of the season, but I think it’s important to remember and not erase the fact that Normal’s internal issues with validation do not begin at the dance, as established in the kindergarten case but also further exemplified by Norm’s primary motive in becoming the school’s mascot in the first place (to get everybody to like him). I think it’s important to remember this in part since it informs so much of Normal’s reaction to what his father has to say, immediately afterwards but also throughout the whole rest of the season. No kid wants to hear that their parent isn’t proud of them, but the severity of the response to this sort of statement is going to vary drastically depending on the person, and in Norm’s case, given his natural disposition, it’s devastating. [and I swear there’s a teen talk moment where Will says basically this but I can’t find it for the life of me rn damn it lol maybe I’ll edit in the clip later if I do]

Of course in this specific case, one can still mostly say that the problem stems from outside of Normal, and that his preexisting issues exacerbate his response but are definitely not the cause of it. Outside of this instance, however, this is not always true! In fact, Normal’s excessive dependency on external validation and related rejection sensitivity (negatively) inform a large amount of his interactions with those around him, particularly Lincoln and Taylor (imagine me underlining “Taylor” several times as I say this). Truthfully that’s a whole ramble on its own, but with respect to more recent events, I have to admit that I was genuinely quite irked to find a lot of people blaming Taylor and Lincoln for Norm’s response to their uh. mech shenanigans in episode 37, choosing to frame this as an act of moral failing or even malice on their part, rather than a reflection of Normal’s own issues and room for growth. Lincoln and Taylor were simply focused on the mission at hand, and there was no good reason realistically speaking to have expected them to be aware of Normal’s emotional state at that point in time (or in general, to be aware of the jealousy their bonding moments evoke within Norm- particularly when Normal consistently fails to communicate and address those emotions with them in a manner that is direct and not passive-aggressive). Lincoln in particular is very clearly stated as not even having fun in that moment, very understandably being focused instead on the fact that his friend Scary is around his father, who he just witnessed, you know, murder someone. This is not an instance of the world going against Norm for no good reason other than to put him through it, this is a very clear example of Normal’s internal issues affecting the way he perceives external events in a manner that is not actually very reflective of the reality of the situation, and which of course feeds in further to his cycle of self-loathing (and I won’t go into it here since I sort of did in the post anon is responding to- but Normal’s negative reaction to Lincoln breaking the pick to gain Scary’s trust is another important example of this [tbh all the more so now coupled with the hypocrisy of how he handles the anchor in Goofs but that’s a tangent]). As aforementioned, Norm also struggles a good chunk of the time to actually explain his feelings in a manner that is direct and does not rely on blaming others for not picking up on his dejection, as exemplified in how this discussion goes with Lincoln in the most recent episode:

The treatment from fandom of this whole instance being reflective of a reoccurring issue I tend to have with a large chunk of the fandom, wherein the collective memory of canon tends towards getting warped to account for Norm’s mental state. Sometimes that’s hailing him as some morally-perfect, emotional reincarnate of Henry (as though the pride layer didn’t happen, as though Goofs didn’t happen, as though all of Norm’s relationship with Taylor isn’t what it is- …I feel like I should stop implying stuff about the significance Taylor and Norm’s relationship and not elaborating but it really is an essay in and of itself LOL), other times it’s just downright turning everyone around Normal into a villain, a persistent phenomenon which I sort of illustrated in the above example but also touched upon in an earlier essay (arguing that despite the fandom’s quick jump to villainize him- Lincoln breaking the guitar pick would prove to be an act of love). Sparrow also takes a good brunt of the damage from this. Sparrow saying he’s not proud of Normal gets turned into Sparrow not loving Normal (despite an abundance of proof in canon to the contrary), his apology for what he said and the support he shows for Norm in light of his alternative plan on dealing with the Doodler are completely ignored by most of the fandom, as are any other demonstrations of emotional availability and shows of growth that he displays throughout the course of the season, and the true motives behind Sparrow’s insistence on Normal living a “normal” life- to protect him from the childhood that he but also that Hero had to undergo- is somehow framed as Sparrow actually holding some kind of favoritism for Hero. It’s as though there is a complete inability on a larger scale within the fandom to see Sparrow as separate character outside of the filter of Norm’s emotions, and the other teens (including Hermie) get a similar if less pronounced treatment.

[Actually, I would argue that to some degree all of the kiddads except Terry (and Lark since he’s not officially a dad) tend to be perceived and criticized predominantly through the noise of their respective child’s emotions/behavior. In Grant’s case, Lincoln 1. spends a good part of the earlier half of the season asserting that his dads are the best dads in the world despite everything going on and 2. has a very unfortunate tendency to compartmentalize and push down his negative emotions as much as possible- in typical Wilson fashion- so the complexity and severity of Lincoln’s issues with his dad generally go understated, and only now that Lincoln has begun to be more vocal and upfront about his issues has some of Grant’s parenting finally begun to come under fire, and even then mostly only his more recent transgressions. In Taylor’s case, Taylor’s emotional security/stability and general fondness for his dad mean that Nicky is being hailed by many people as “the best dad” where in fact Nicky- while certainly helping the teens out in many ways and perhaps even acting as a friend to them- has done just about jack shit for Taylor as a *father*, and really if Taylor has anyone to thank for being as well-adjusted as he is now, it’s definitely his mom! But I digress.]

Normal and Scary are very similar, but the way fandom treats them is very different. People (mostly) seem to be able to acknowledge that Scary, in spite of her mistakes and flaws, is a scared, tired kid with a good heart who is capable and deserving of love. In Normal’s case, I just can’t seem to shake the impression that the fandom (in general) would rather strip Norm of all the things that make his character complex, and nuanced, and flawed, reducing him to an utterly uninteresting husk of a character before depicting him as anything other than a perfect goody-two-shoes who has never hurt anybody in his entire life or daring to acknowledge the fact that “Normal has been through a lot, is hurt, and deserves a good support system and emotional validation” and “Normal can at many times be his own worst enemy, sometimes makes mistakes that affect those around him, and has room to grow emotionally” are notions that can and should coexist. Or at least, that's my two cents on the matter.

[chris-continues]

hello hello! could i ask for reader and knives stimming together? i feel like he'd be unused to acknowledging his own stims and maybe reader can help with that?

thank u!

I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABT THIS YESTERDAY AAAAAAA

Getting comfortable with one another.

Knives and neurodivergent reader!

@coffinbeananteiku U FEED MY BRAINROT THIS HAS SOME OF WHAT WE TALKED ABT IN KNIVES CHANNEL

I always write my reader as neurodivergent as that is my experience, but I felt like prefacing it once again.

You continue scrolling down the page you’re reading on, glancing over to Nai once again. You should’ve been studying- really, you should’ve, but while researching you stumbled upon an article on the embalming process in Egyptian times, and you couldn’t just pass up the opportunity to look into it more!

So.. yeah, probably a bit of a rabbit hole. And probably a bit off task. And Nai is probably a bit annoyed as he huffs, “You should work on your essay.”

Shit- you were caught. “Hah, sorry. I got sidetracked reading this.” You wring your hands out with the other, looking down at your keyboard shamefully.

“Reading what?” He peeked over, adjusting his glasses to get a better look before his eyes widened. “Yeah, they used natron. Did you know it takes around 70 days for the body to fully dry out?” His fingers tap against his knee repeatedly, reading over your laptop before staring at the coffee table as he continues,

“And- ahem, they filled concaves of the body with linens due to the dried out state- hundreds of yards of linens, actually. Then of course traditional wrappings, but the ceremonial measures taken-“ he stops himself, knee bouncing slowing once his eyes turn to look at you. “Excuse me, I went on a tangent.” He clears his throat once more, adjusting to go back to work, to your dismay.

“Oh no no, I’m listening! I’m like super interested in this kinda thing, it’s really cool. Tell me more!” You smiled in an attempt to reassure him to continue, hands waving excitedly.

He was nothing short of utterly ecstatic as his knee continued to bounce, passion evident in his eyes, “They had, uh,” he pauses to think back on what he was saying, “Ritualistic ceremonies performed for the burial themselves by religious figures, such as them being the only ones permitted to wrap the final linen around the body.” He turns to check your reaction, and is definitely pleased to see you stimming happily.

“Keep going! I’m like- so excited to learn about this stuff, it’s nice to see you so passionate over it.” His eyes blink, once, twice- before once again speaking.

Nai goes over the whole process and listens intently as you share your knowledge, heavily impressed by your enthusiasm and enjoying yourself.

For once, studying is put aside as you go back and forth, occasionally interrupting excitedly only to assure the other it’s ok, because you don’t need to worry about social cues that don’t measure up to much. Just enjoying yourselves.

[bladesmercy]

i had to pull up again because the recent chapter of tfofs had me going INSANE LIKE HELLO??? HELLO???! THAT WENT SO FUCKING HARD I FR HAD TO POUR A GLASS OF WINE IWALHEKEWIUEWO dude a first kiss hits so different after so many chapters have passed with all the build up and then its SO FUCKING WORTH IT AHAKWGEKEGDKWHEJEKEKSJE AND PROMISING NEVER TO LEAVE EACH OTHER TOO OHMYGOSH ahem. it’s safe to say i am not normal after that but it was so so good, that chapter went in like seeking water after wandering a desert for eons in search of it. it was the crème de la crème of reaching intimacy for e2l after an insane amount of development and build up to just make the wait and experience all the more worth it. i cannot wait to read more, tfofs is fr tickling my brain in the best way possible🧎‍♀️ ahem- my bad for the word vomit yet again.. let me not leave an essay in your inbox😭 so i hope have a good day / night, and take care!!🫶🫶🫶

aaaaaaaa i'm so sorry for being so late to this ask, thank you so much!!!!!! i'm so glad you enjoyed this update so much, this really means a lot to hear. ;w; don't apologize at all, this really made my day to see!!!!! i hope you are having a wonderful day/night as well, thank you so very much for your kind words!! <333

[onepiecepositivityproject]

@octopodeez ngl you'll probably know who wrote this *ahem* Sorry this is long

Story time: I had made my self indulgence oc after seeing another artist who had one that they shipped with a canon character, but I was extremely self conscious of any ideas I had and didn't even wanna show anyone my drawings of him. Then while scrolling, I saw your post asking for people to send you the stories if those ocs. Ngl..I jumped at the opportunity. I sat and wrote an essay in your asks; just bit the bullet and shared him for the first time ever(hoping i didnt send to much) Then you messaged me about him! Asked me question, gave me ideas, and even shared your oc with me!

Thank you, i cant express to you how you've made me feel truly comfortable about something I've always been self conscious about. I have some bad anxiety, so I don't express how I feel as well as an average person, i never wanna push to far or make an assumption that isnt mine to make...ANYWAY! Just know: I really appreciate you, thank you for being you :)

[sobeksewerrat]

Okay so- if you saw my aroace chr headcannon list, you probably saw Adam from Hazbin Hotel on there! It's been a while since I have written an essay, but honestly I really wanted to expand on my asexual Adam thought and @kiichu asked me to so here we go ;)

[ Just. Don't expect any actual thoughtful analysis. I am mostly just grasping at straws and projecting because I kin the dude ]

[ Oh yeah and I will reference the Trans Genesis AU a lot. Nope, Stanley and I did not abandon it. Sorry not sorry ]

First things first, let's look at his first appearance in episode 1.

Needless to say, he was a bit of an asshole. But something really stuck out to me.

In one of the scenes, he was recounting a date/one-night-stand he had to Charlie (because of course he was).

He clearly seemed to be describing the dinner date itself in detail, but he literally just caps it off with "and then we fucked, and it was awesome".

This line can be read in a few different ways, depending on your view.

1. They didn't actually fuck, the woman ditched him or didn't exist to begin with and he's lying to seem cooler.

2. It wasn't awesome (*at least for him, but yk could go both ways) and he wasn't about to go into detail about his less-than-stellar sexual encounter (I feel. Really uncomfortable writing this, I am too ace for this shit).

3. The logical explanation of the writers not wanting to include it for rating reasons and because of the episode's already short run time and also because we as the audience don't really need to know that. Though I think that if that were just that, a better alternative would've been that Adam either continues describing the date or starts describing the sex and either Lute or Charlie (or both) stop him.

For my interpretation of the ace Adam, we'll go with the second interpretation.

Allos love pointing out how "asexuals can still date/have sex" but they always neglect one thing: that's not exactly how sex-favourable and sex-neutral aces work.

I can't speak for everybody on the spectrum (especially since I am mostly repulsed), but wanting to have sex doesn't mean you feel sexual attraction.

So yeah this doesn't disprove him being asexual, though I am aiming for a very different interpretation.

Sex-repulsed Adam.

NOW, PLEASE HEAR ME OUT I KNOW I SOUND CRAZY!!

Ace men rarely get any representation, and a lot of men (especially cis men, but trans men too) don't realize they're ace or are actively in denial about it because of this thing called ✨toxic masculinity✨

I don't think it's too much of a hot take to say that Adam clearly falls into a lot of toxic masculinity stuff.

Being literally the first man, the original dick (or the original pussy if we're talking about the tgau), he is probably expected to uphold these harmful beliefs of masculinity or at least thinks he has to to be taken seriously (or be percieved as cis at least-).

Therefore, he's probably is in deep, deep denial of his asexuality and tries to cover it up by, well, sleeping around I guess (*hopefully not with human souls because i don't need any of the implications that come with that).

But that doesn't necessarily mean he enjoyed it, you know.

Now I don't wanna go too deep into this honestly quite depressing line of thought, so to keep it brief that's probably why he wouldn't go into detail about that one night stand- even though he totally seems like the type of guy who would talk about this stuff in excessive and unnecessary detail (can you tell I love torturing this guy. I mean if yk the TGAU you probably already know but shush).

That or because a lot of aces literally cannot talk about sex seriously. It has to be a joke or about an ao3 smut fic.

*ahem* Moving on-

The infamous "Now, I'm going to FUCK you" scene that every Adamsapple shippers love (no hate to Adamsapple shippers btw, except @roryheart fuck you Rory /lh silly (I love you buddy don't take this seriously)).

Just. Just look at his face when Lucifer says it.

It could just be pure confusion, which is quite understandable tbh.

Or we could go with the funny interpretation of Adam being so autistic and ace, he thought for a second that Lucifer was actually hitting on him this whole time and he just didn't notice. Purely because this has actually happened to me before and I wanna project-

Moreover, he looks lowkey disgusted by it and just attacks Lucifer immediately.

Whatever, now we get to the ✨angst potential✨ of ace Adam.

Elaborating on the bit of toxic masculinity from earlier, maybe he thinks that his aversion to stuff like is why both Lilith (and presumably Eve) cheated on him with Lucifer, because he wasn't a real man.

And if we wanna get really depressing, all we have to do is just remember that his only purpose was to have as many children with Eve (and previously Lilith) as possible to populate the Earth.

Yeah, sounds like a total nightmare scenario.

I have a few other ideas, but they're really half baked and not really well put together and stuff- idk I just think ace Adam is a cool idea.

Sorry if this wasn't exactly the essay any of you were looking for but I genuinely just think it'd be fun and kinda interesting to explore really.

Btw gonna make "sobek rants" exclusively for angry rants and gonna repurpose "brainingsewer" for essays and analysis and stuff. Not that anybody really cares about my tagging system.