#SOMETIMES I'll get a pitiful and defensive 'well how was i supposed to know?!' when i confront people bugging me about this

[arctic-hands]

For real tho health freaks who scream about how sugar and salt will kill us all and try to push for restrictions on things like candy and chips for SNAP recipients or politicians who try from time to time to replace food stamps all together and give out Government Approved Staples like bread and peanut butter and Government Cheese are gonna kill a whole lotta sick and disabled people like

Diabetics

POTS sufferers

Hypotensives

People with peanut allergies

People with celiac disease or wheat allergies

The lactose intolerant

People who can't eat solid food

People who are undernourished for any reason and need all the calories they can pack on

So-called "picky eaters" who can't tolerate certain tastes and textures without getting violently ill

A myriad of other human conditions that cannot be neatly tallied into categories because the human body and human experience is vast and infinitely variable

But I don't think ableds really care about us and our health like they like to claim so they can harass us about it, do you?

[mzjmesa]

Out Loud | Chloe Decker

She was a good detective. Is. The pride of the office, the officer praised here and there. Your partner. Your bestfriend. Detective Chloe Decker. It wasn't because of her smart, genius mind that attracted you to her, no. Well, sometimes, anyway. But it could've been alot of reasons, loving Chloe Decker. And you would've loved any other reasons— to make this easier, to make the feelings disappear sooner. Because whatever the attraction was, it was unprofessional— Chloe never did unprofessional. And you fear if you couldn't hold it any longer, she'd run away from you.

You can't bear that.

But you loved Chloe either way. You loved her eyes, her kindness, that bright and knowing smile that goes with her eyes, you loved the way her lips part when she's about to say something defensive— you loved her. You loved her the most when she knocks at your door and asks how you're doing. You loved the late night talks and laughs about freshmen days which was rare, because she never spent so much time in highschool, she got unending stories about it anyway. You loved the way she listens. You loved her. You loved Chloe Decker. And as she passes by your desk, to the man she likes, you reminded yourself that it was wrong. Wrong because you were supposed to be happy for her.

A knock on your desk drifted your thoughts away, Dan. “How are we doing?” he asked, if he'd caught you staring enviously at Chloe and Lucifer, he hadn't mind.

“How are we doing?” You repeated stupidly, still hungover from yesterday. Which by the way was Chloe's fault, you just wouldn't admit it to yourself.

Dan shrugs, “Yeah? I sent you files to look at, remember?”

Oh.

You shake your head as though it would help you focus on the present and tried to remember where you had placed the papers. You checked your drawers, trying hard to block out Chloe and Lucifer's voices. You busied your hand flipping through dozens of papers, vividly remembering the file's name.

Jonathan Flinn's. Ahh. Case closed for 2 months, there wasn't much evidence of the murder, but the majority linked to him, and eventually the court pronounced him guilty. There had been questions left unsolved, and if Espinoza wasn't up to anything, it would've been left at that.

You sighed, “Have you talked to Chloe about this?”

“Yeah,” He looked past your shoulder to where Chloe was, then back to you. “she thinks it's a bad idea.”

Of course she did. You did, too. That was a thing between you two, something about your guts always telling you the same what's what. That's why you were partnered with her, and you would've loved to continue being one (although truth be told, you still were in papers anyway) but she'd found a consultant, a batshit crazy one at that. Lucifer Morningstar. Always telling himself he's the devil, going on and about his everyday life like anyone gives a damn, and always making everything about himself. If he wasn't charming, and a ‘friend’ of Chloe's, you would've hated him. Most times you did. But times when Chloe was down, he was always the first to cheer her up. You used to be the one doing that, until he came.

“You should listen to her, Dan.”

“Oh c'mon! I would've agreed with Chloe and wouldn't have come to you if it weren't so important. His mother is my god—”

“—mother. Yes, yes, I know that, Dan. I know you think this is a good idea to pay her back, too. But it's not, trust me. Trust Chloe.” You exhaled, feeling the weight of her stare on your back. “It could go worst anyway, what when we can't find any evidence or if we do, worst case scenario is it'll only lead to him. Again. We'll just worsen his situation.”

Dan sighed, massaging his jaw with exasperation because he knew you were right. And also because as much as he pretends not to care too much, he does. You loved that about him.

As you heard footsteps behind, you handed back the files to Dan who hid it behind his back, masking his irritation with a smile to Chloe.

You ignored her, lingering your eyes on the missing button of Dan's shirt.

“Ella found some prints, we haven't identified it yet but it's likely our lead.” Chloe started just behind you, and you knew Lucifer was beside her as much as you hated it. “In the meantime, Dan? I'd like to discuss to you about the Flinn case, Lucifer and I went back to the crime scene yesterday. We found nothing.”

Dan frowned. “I thought you said it was a bad idea.”

“I know, I know. I... ugh... well I went over it again, anyway.”

A small smile creeped on his face, and you were almost sure his eyes were watering when Lucifer jumped on the conversation about his father, bla bla bla. You couldn't care less. Chloe did, and that should be enough for Lucifer. She'd always been enough for you. You bit your lips, wishing you could busy your hands with something. Anything. But your desk was on your back, and oh, Chloe, too.

It felt immature and all, but you were hurting just knowing they were together, seeing them would break you.

“I'll check in on with Ella.” Chloe announced, “(Y/N)?”

“Are you having a stroke Miss (L/N)? Staying still like a trained robot, you're scarying me— and believe when I say I rarely get scared.” Lucifer added.

Oh you believe alright. And robots are trained?! Trying to hide your feelings with a forced smile, you turned around, making sure you weren't going to make an eye contact with a certain detective, and immediately grabbed a random paper and pen you can hold— scribbling anything. Anything at all.

“I'm alright.” You answered after a beat or two, still unbothered to look. Who would want to, honestly.

Chloe cleared her throat, whispered something to Lucifer, and then bid goodbye. It was then when you looked at them walking away. Lucifer's hand on her back, Chloe looking small beside him— your chest aching the same, if not, more.

You're definitely not gonna look again.

-

You had a week off work, and you'd almost fell to your knees thanking God when the lieutenant told you. You needed it more than you needed Chloe, which proves just how important it was— Chloe had been. Still is, by the way.

It was 8 am, by now Chloe would be at her desk, examining or making reports, or on a crime scene with Ella and, Lucifer. You snapped out of your mind, reminding yourself you'd needed the vacation because work and particularly Chloe had been stressing you out and very much so hurting you.

You'd hit the beach, go to the mountains for the view,— you didn't wanna hike though, you needed rest not making sweats— visit your sister and niece, and then finally bake while blasting Taylor Swift because admit it or not, you're much broken than your grandmother's vase.

When the water was hot enough, you took a bath and dressed. A peach-colored tank top that comes along with a brown mini skirt and a coat was your outfit for the day. Only, the coat reminded you too much of Chloe's. She liked coats. And that coat, back then warning you that she'd steal it eventually. So you changed with other coats, just didn't fit well with the shirt and skirt, so you gave in and left your hair untouched and untied. Grabbing your pouch and your gun— a licensed one, just in case. And opened your door. You would've preferred the bright sky and fresh air of the morning in LA. But Chloe Decker was standing there, fist on air as if she'd been ready to knock.

You froze.

Were you having a stroke? Most likely.

“(Y/N).”

“Chloe.”

Wasn't she supposed to be at work? You didn't mind either way, but it surprised you still, she hadn't been visiting much since... Lucifer. Everything's just been different since he arrived, not in a good way for you.

You stepped aside, not saying anything since you figured out a human wouldn't understand any word that comes out of your mouth. She went in, instead of sitting on your couch like the old days, she lingered on the living room, standing and looking at you.

Most times you hadn't mind.

She started, “How are you?”

“I'm good.”

“No, (Y/N). How are you?”

You didn't know what to say. Or why she'd ask a question as that. “I'm not—”

“Do you like me?”

What.

Your face must've given the shock, because she answered your unasked question. “Dan said some things. I'm-I'm not— you're not transferring, are you?”

Oh you're definitely gonna choke the life out of Dan. But knowing him, he wouldn't have spit it out too easily. He was probably drunk and didn't mean it. Still, you wished you said it to Chloe yourself. About the liking and transferring.

You remained silent, reading the expression on Chloe's face. Was she sad? Upset? After years of knowing her, you would've known right away. But now you couldn't. And you fear you might've forgotten the every detail of her face, too.

“(Y/N)...” Her voice gave out, carrying every sadness within. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“About what?” You answered stupidly in a whisper, fearing that if you came into your senses everything would feel too real.

“About everything! About— about your feelings for me. About Seatte. About why you've been so far from me!”

“You have been far from me, Chloe.”

She frowns, and you knew millions and billions and gazillions of questions where popping in her mind.

Tears in your eyes were forming, and you hated it, all of this. She wasn't supposed to know at all. She wasn't supposed to know you had immature feelings for her. Wasn't supposed to know you were transferring atleast 'till next month. But Chloe wasn't dumb, and you should've known that.

Chloe swallowed the lump in her throat, her breathing heavy. “We could've talked about it.”

“We haven't talked much at all these days because of—” you cut yourself off, rolling your eyes at how sick it feels. You hated yourself for it, but you continued anyway. “Because of Lucifer.”

She exhaled. “Lucifer and I are complicated.”

“I know that, Chloe.” You said firmly, meeting her gaze pitying you. Of course she pities you. “I also know you like him so much. I know you've been crying when he fake married that Candy. I know you've been sick worrying when he can't answer your texts or calls. I know you've gone lengths trying to understand him. I know. I know so much so that I didn't wanna be so selfish and tell you things you didn't wanna hear because it'll make your complicated relationship with Lucifer even more complicated. I fucking know. And I loved you too much.”

Chloe's tears were beginning to fall, one by one, slowly. And it hurts you to see her like this. Especially because you know you caused it.

“It was never my intention to push you away. You're my friend— can't we just stay like this?” She asked in a soft, breaking voice. And if it wasn't Chloe you would've said yes because people are easy to move on from. But it was indeed Chloe and she was... not like anyone you know. She was a missing piece of your puzzle. Only, you have never been a piece of hers.

“I love you, Chloe.”

It was weird, saying it out loud, to her. You never thought you could, knowing you were a coward than every cowards combined.

You did though, and that must've pulled something. Because Chloe approached you, side hugged, and then left.

So much for a vacation.

You spent the night crying.

Chloe Decker spent hers with the man she loved. And you were never that man.

[peachyaone]

angels like you.

pairings: rengoku kyojuro x gn! hashira! reader

warnings: angst and fluff.

A/N: This fic is inspired by "Angels Like You" by Miley Cyrus

plot: in your eyes, he was like an angel. but would an angel ever want someone like you?

You were known as one of the most ruthless hashira's among the others. You killed with no hesitation. People called you a lunatic, heartless or scary when they see you, you always had a prominent frown on your face. And you had no mercy.

But somehow you ended up with Rengoku, the total opposite of what you are.

The two of you met on a mission, you were supposed to eliminate the demon that was terrorizing a village nearby. But an unsuspected Lower Moon attacked when you finished killing the demon.

*flashback*

"Damn it." you thought as you felt a presence behind you, whatever it was, it was reeking with demonic energy. "What do you want with me?" You asked the demon. You turned to look. You saw markings on its eyes. "Lower Moon Three." it read. "Why are you here?" You asked again, your hand on the hilt of your sword. "Lord Muzan wants to speak with you." It said. "Why would the Demon Lord request to speak with a person like me?" Your grip on your sword tightened. You sensed another presence nearby. "They just want to have a conversation with you, no need to get so defensive." The demon teased. "You sent a demon to terrorize a village to get my attention, am I right?" You said.

"Yes, I did. Now, come on. Lord Muzan's patience is wavering by the second." You unsheathed your sword and the tip grazed the demon's neck. "Not another step." you threaten. Your eyes glared daggers into the demon's own. You swore you saw it shiver. "Come on, human. Don't be reckless." It said. "Back down, L/N-san." A bright voice said. Your eyes move to see the tall, golden-haired man approaching you and the demon. "I thought you were on a mission, Rengoku-san," you said. "I was! I finished early and I was on my way back, but my Kasugai crow informed me about the situation you were in, so I stopped by as assistance!"" He said, cheerfully. You turned back to the demon. "Now tell me, why did Muzan want to see me?" You asked, digging your blade harder into its skin. It stayed quiet. "Tell. Me," you said. "L/N-san." You heard Rengoku say. You glared at him, but he seems to be unfazed by your death glare at him. "It's better if you told them. They could get pretty scary when they're mad," He told the demon.

The demon attacked Rengoku, to which he blocked. You moved to attack it. "Breath of Light, Second Form: Shine." You whispered. A bright light shone from your sword as you strike the demon. The demon yelped in pain as your attack burned it. Rengoku pinned it to the ground. "I could burn you. Just like the sun." You said. The demon's eyes widened. "Now tell me." You said. ' H-he wants you to j-join him!" The demon said. "Why?" You asked. The demon didn't know. You sighed and beheaded the demon. You cleaned your sword as you watched its body disintegrated into the air.

You heard shuffling behind you. "L/N-san?" Rengoku asked. You looked at him. "Wanna grab some food before heading back?" He offered. You nodded.

Your relationship bloomed from there.

*Flashback end*

It has been two years since then. You were taking a walk with Shinobu and Mitsuri, waiting for Rengoku to return from his mission. "Hey, L/N. How did someone like you end up with someone like Rengoku?" Mitsuri asked. You looked at her, you knew she was just curious, sometimes she gets too curious for her own good. But her question seems the affect you, so you shrugged. "I have no idea why, Mitsuri-san." You said, eyes looking at the ground. Shinobu patted your shoulder in silent support. She knew how you felt.

You couldn't control your emotions sometimes, that's why you kept up with the facade of not caring, all because you cared too much. You used to be a bright and bubbly person, well until the death of your younger siblings and your father. You were weak, as your father tried his best to protect you and your siblings. But it didn't last long. The demon slayer found you later, covered with your family's blood. You could still hear their screams echoing in your head.

You'd swore to your family that you will kill every single demon that crosses your path, and have your revenge. So you stopped caring, you would try your best not to get too attached. You never attend any events the others would make. You spent all that time training and/or doing missions. That lasted until Rengoku came into your life.

He would slowly coax you out of your shell, you started to attend the birthday parties instead of wishing them with your crow, started to hang out with the others, training with them. You slowly start to open yourself up to them. There are some days where you would go back to your shell, Rengoku was always there to make you feel better. He was your angel.

Why would he do such things for me?

What does he see in a monster like me?

Why does he love me?

Your intrusive thoughts clouded your mind as you kicked some stones on the pathway. You couldn't hear your friends calling you. "L/N-san!" Mitsuri called. You snapped out of your thoughts, looking at her questioningly. She gestured to your estate, which was a few meters away from where you were standing.

There he was, the flame hashira was standing at the entrance of your home. "Rengoku-san!" Shinobu called out. You saw him turn around. He saw you, a bright smile appeared on his face. "Y/N!" He said, rushing over. He stood in front of you. You gave him a small smile, he smiled widened. "Hey, do you mind if I steal them?" He asked. Shinobu and Mitsuri shook their heads, saying their goodbyes before leaving.

"Hey, honey." He greeted you. "Hi." You said. "I missed you!" He said, hugging you softly. You hummed in agreement. "How was the mission?" You asked him, your voice quiet but still hearable. "It went great! We managed to save many people." You nodded. As he talked, you could feel your headspace fading. The thoughts started to come.

He's only with you because he pities you.

You don't deserve to be with him, not after everything thing you've done!

"No! Stop!" You screamed in your head. You held your head in your hands, your eyes squeezed shut. "Hun'?" Rengoku said to you. Bitter tears welled in your eyes as your fingers gripped on your sleeves tightly. You internally hoped that your thoughts could just disappear, you hated them all. You wanted them all gone. You whimpered.

Rengoku’s hand takes yours and your eyes widen as he tugs you into his arms. He held you as his thumbs wiped away your tears. You felt pathetic and weak as you keep a tight hold on his haori. You felt him planting small kisses on your hair and forehead. "Let's get you inside, yeah?" He whispered. You nodded. He lifted you up and carried you into your home.

He sets you down on the futon. Sitting beside you, he pulled you into his lap, cradling your head against his chest as he stroked your hair. "What's going on, darling? What made you so upset?" He asked softly. “I’m a monster, 'Kyo,” you whispered. “I am a heartless, cruel, ruthless monster– why are you with me?!”

“Y/N…”

“I know you don’t agree with me, I mean you are my partner, but fuck, ‘Kyo, you are such an angel! You are the nicest person, you are passionate, kind, beautiful and so damn perfect-” Tears fall down your face and you don’t bother wiping them away as you stare at him. "Why would an angel like you fly down here with me?" you asked. He felt so helpless, you, the love of his life, think so badly about themself? He will never let that happen.

"You are not a monster, Y/N," he said. You looked at him, eyes puffy. "I'm everything they said I am." You said. He kissed you, cutting off your self-deprecating words. "You are not what they say you are." He said. "You are not cruel, heartless, or anything like that! You are an angel too, if they don't think you are, then I'll fight them!" He wiped away your tears. "You've been through so much and they have no right to call you those awful things okay?"

"But Kyojuro-" "No. No backtalk. You are an amazing person, they just don't know you yet." He said with a bright smile. You felt yourself smiling a little. He looked at you in awe, every time you smiled, he would feel so happy that he wants to make you smile every day. "You're so cute, you know that?" He said. You blushed slightly. "Don't mind their words, you're better than that." He said, kissing your head.

"Thank you, Kyojuro." You whispered. "Anytime, Y/N." He whispered back. He held you until you felt better as he reassured you, giving you kisses and whispered sweet nothings in your ear. "Love you 'Kyo." You mumbled, your eyes feeling irritated from crying. You felt light kisses on your eyelids. "Love you too, Y/N!" He said cheerily. You kissed his cheek as you laid your head back on his chest, dozing off.

[luvlyrv]

Duel | Seulgi x F!Reader | Knight!AU

Request: Okay so I have a request 👀 you don’t have to write it if you want want to, but the idea came to my head and I thought why not request it from one of my favourite writers! 🥺

SO, knight!seulgi. Or basically Seulgi with a sword and being bad ass 🥴 maybe a small bit of enemies to lovers, who knows? But just Seulgi. With a sword. 😳🥵

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: i hope you like it! i'm not big on action scenes so they were kind of rushed, sorry :( also sorry that it took so long my dear!! hope you're doing well <3

Date: 4/11/21

You uncomfortably roll your shoulders back, a phantom pain gradually enveloping your body. Somehow the mere sight of Seulgi was enough to send shudders down your spine as your body recounts the sensations of the many fights you've had with her. Maybe defeat has already etched itself into your muscle memory.

You let out a quiet breath as you observe her sparring session with a fellow damoiseau, a knight-in-training. Your mind feels a bit torn by the sight in front of you. On one hand you are entranced by the fluid motions and contortions that Seulgi managed to make her body do. On the other hand you struggle to not make an obviously unsettled face. Your mood sours at the disappointment you feel when reminded of the fact that despite how much you try to observe and study her, you have never bested her in a duel.

Besting the people around you had always come easy. You've enjoyed the pain of your training, knowing that it would be proven a worthy investment of your time when you see a pitiful body laying on the floor in front of you. When you get to see the face of defeat, hear the admittance of it. For all you know you are the perfect warrior. A noble knight worthy to serve the monarch.

You're better than everyone. You know it. Except for her.

What was it? What did you she have that you didn't? Every time she bested you in a duel it dealt a bastardly blow to your ego. The words 'second best' would make your eye want to twitch. For all your strength and endurance, your familiarity with the motions of battle, Seulgi just seemed to understand it more.

You recount the many times your body would strain itself after being dealt with many sharp thwacks. The throbbing pains from falling and rolling, again and again. The sense of hope and excitement as you pushed yourself to take on a stance and seemingly deal a final blow, only for Seulgi to easily and gracefully step away, just to kick you back to the ground.

You hate her. You hate the weaklings underneath you too. You swear you can hear them snicker when you lose to her, that treacherous woman.

You stop your thoughts when you suddenly hear the booming voice of your master calling for you. Your grip strengthens around your training sword as you slowly make way towards Seulgi. It's time for the two of you to repeat the process. This time though, you are determined to win. Certain of it. Seulgi, the best apprentice in your regiment, would not longer make a mockery of you.

Your jaw hurts as clench, barely containing your anger. You try to calm down and refocus on the situation at hand. You look at Seulgi as she stands in her own battle-ready stance in front of you. You wonder how her blows deal so much power when her frame looks so delicate.

Focusing on calming down your breathing, you slowly advance forward. Your opponent does the same and soon enough you're circling around each other. It's the same story again. The same beginnings.

You want to end things quickly and dive in for the first blow. One blow should be all you need, you think to yourself. You force yourself to go as quickly as possible, everything around you a blur except for your target herself. All of a sudden though, she disappears and suddenly you feel your training sword facing resistance, threatening to escape your grasp.

You grunt in frustration and reorient yourself to find Seulgi. You spot her and balance yourself waiting for another opening. She is always on the defensive it seems, but you are never one to wait. As the seconds go by you deem it the right time to go for a slash. It feels as if your body is moving through molasses as you watch Seulgi glide out of your weapon's way in horror. You see her sword and a painful thwack is given.

It's the same story again. The same middle.

You repeat and repeat these motions. You going in for a hit only to be countered. Sometimes you'd get one in, but like you your opponent is hardy and gets back up. After a brutal pummeling you must resign yourself to defeat, as much as your heart hates it. The same ending as always.

This time though you can't seem to hold your tongue back.

You storm up closer to Seulgi and roughly hold onto the collar of her training attire. "What the hell is it? What's your secret?" You shake the woman a bit until her hands come up to your wrist. She pushes them down and you decide to let go. "Rematch tonight. I'll prove my worth." The words come out viciously but quietly. They were a promise both to her and yourself.

The crowd of spectators around you stay quiet after your outburst, and Seulgi doesn't say anything either. Not bothering to look at anyone's faces you leave the grounds to change clothes. They stuck to you with sweat and the gritty dirt that covered it bothered you

You can't think much for the rest of the day. The thoughts of your failure prevents you from enjoying training or beating other people. Soon enough you find yourself looking at a bowl of measly soup and bread in the mess hall all by yourself.

The warm soup makes you feel marginally better, but you don't pay much attention to it. Instead you take in your surroundings. This scenario is routine. You sit by yourself somewhere among the crowds of people interacting and enjoying their meal together. Even if people were nearby you simply would not speak. Why waste your breath on them?

In contrast to you though, you notice how hordes of people flock around the number one apprentice. Vying for her attention. Are you jealous? You can't tell. You just wonder if people would act that way towards you if you were the best.

Soon enough you hear the familiar yelling of a commander telling you all to return to your bunks. You quickly put away your bowl and utensils before hanging back from the line of people walking back towards the measly barracks that housed you all. Through the large body of people you see the crowd finally thin out as people their respective barracks. As you get closer to yours you finally spot Seulgi towards the entrance of the building. Coming up behind her you speak out.

"You didn't forget, did you?" She takes a moment to think before huffing.

"I suppose I should humor you after all."

You turn without letting her speak further. There's a silence between the two of you as you go to retrieve your training swords. You'd expect to hear loud padded footsteps behind you, but surprisingly Seulgi's footsteps sound faint. Nearly nonexistent.

The night sky of course makes it hard to see things, but your years of training has ingrained the layout of the entire area into your heart. It also helps that the moonlight allows you to see just enough as well. You make it to your destination with ease, picking up your weapon you watch as Seulgi grabs hers too.

"Where are we going to fight?" She questions you tiredly.

"Out in the field." Your answer is curt as you once again lead Seulgi, this time to the middle of the field you had fought in earlier in the day. When you arrive you distance yourself farther away from her and take your stance.

"You ready?" You ask her as you plant your feet into the ground and focus on your breathing.

"Mhm." Seulgi, unlike you, decides to stand there. She seems uncommitted, like she doesn't care about the fight. How dare she do that when your pride is on the line? When you're taking this so seriously?

Frustration builds up inside of you as you take her attitude as disrespect. You move in to give her a quick jab. Extending your arm, you feel your weapon graze her before she moves out of the way. A popping noise fills the air as she strikes down near the hilt of your weapon, trying to make you loosen your grip. It almost works but you quickly readjust your hands. You force up your sword in retaliation, breaking away the contact between your two swords.

With your sword so high up you decide to go for a horizontal swing towards Seulgi's body. In the early moments of your swing though, Seulgi ducks down and gives you an upwards jab towards your chest.

You heave as air forcefully leaves your lungs, a pain exploding around your chest.

"God!" You wheeze out loudly. Seulgi stands in front of you while she lowers her sword. You get down to your knees and look at the ground. Your breathing normalizes quickly but you try to get your bearings before rising again.

"I still... don't get it." As quickly as your breathing returned to its normal state, your voice quivered as your eyes felt hot. The disappointment that you seemingly always felt around Seulgi had made its reappearance. This time it hit harder than normal. Hard enough to make you start crying.

As your breathing began to become more uneven you finally raise your head and stand up. The form of your opponent gets closer to you. The only sounds between the two of you is the noises escaping your throat as you broke down again.

"How can you manage to fight like that?" You notice Seulgi has put both of her hands out to you. Your hesitance to take them spurs her to speak.

"I'll show you." Her voice touches you somehow. How have you never noticed how angelic she sounded? How gentle she was being with you right now? "Just take them."

You allow her to take your hands. She carefully clasps her similarly calloused hands around yours and begins to move. Her body sways, you don't quite understand why but you try to follow suit.

"I don't get it." You say as you try to mirror her movements. You fumble in embarrassment as Seulgi moves with confidence and grace. You're like a fawn who hasn't learned how to walk next to her.

"I'm a dancer, don't you see?" She momentarily lets go of your hands and walks backwards. You miss the feeling of her hands but you're entranced by the short show she puts on.

She performs for you, the dance itself was beautiful as she created curves and angles with her body. The moonlight enhances it, bouncing off her body and allowing her to glow.

Why have you never noticed how delicate her features looked? How it looked as if she was hand sculpted by the gods?

She returns back to you, taking your hands in hers and leads you back to dancing. You focus harder on trying to mimic her correctly. Eventually the both of you are gracefully dancing across the vast field. You're calmer now, happy even.

"See?" Seulgi says after a while of silent dancing. "The battlefield is my dancefloor, and I'm simply dancing around your blade."

"You're an incredible dancer, Seulgi." Seulgi has brought the two of you closer now. You notice how her lips tug up a bit as you pay her a compliment. That was the first time you've complimented her, perhaps even anyone here. It was the first time you said something without malice to her.

"I try." She laughs a bit. "I wanted to be a professional dancer at first actually. My family wanted me to go into a more noble field though, for the sake of our reputation. I protested at first of course. As I thought more though I decided I wouldn't mind protecting people. I still try to dance everyday though."

"Oh." Shock is laced through your voice. Listening to Seulgi was a humbling experience to say the least. You had wanted to become a knight for your own honor, to attain glory and recognition. You hadn't paid much thought towards protecting other people.

It was also strange to see Seulgi treat you like this. Her kindness was unprecedented. Was your hatred and spite one-sided all along?

"Hm?" Seulgi is curious to your shock as she quirks her eyebrow.

"Sorry."

"For what?"

"I've..." It hurts you a bit to say sorry, let alone apologize correctly. You force yourself to do it though. Maybe, just maybe, you need to change. "I've certainly acted coldly towards you and others. My actions have been... conceited." You here a soft giggle before Seulgi speaks again.

"You're cuter when you're not being awful, you know?" You're glad that the sun has set and that Seulgi can't see the embarrassment on your face. Seulgi hums a tune as you continue dancing together.

"Try smiling more and scowling less. You'd be more approachable that way, along with some attitude changes of course. Aren't you lonely?" She tries to advise you, and normally you'd lash out if anyone made comments about your behavior, but you can't help but to listen to the soothing voice of Seulgi.

"...I can try." You whisper. "I think, if I may speak frankly, I would be okay with being second best under you." Seulgi laughs again.

"Oh? Was dancing with you all it took to make you earn some humility?"

"Maybe... can we dance again another time?" You ask with hesitance before you quickly elaborate. "To get better at fighting, like you! Of course. Only if you want to."

"If this would effectively make you learn your lesson, then sure."

This was the first time you could talk to someone like this, and you like it.

"Thank you, Seulgi, for your patience."

You understand why she's the best apprentice out of all of you. Why people flock around her. Who wouldn't want to be near the giving soul of Seulgi?

[asocial-chinch-bug]

And just for funsies, to prove this shit can apply to anyone:

Taurus:

1. Because I'm self-conscious and can't be sure I'm doing anything right or well until I get that confirmation from someone else

2. I dunno, probably cuz I'm generally incompetent at most things outside of school

3. I have no value. My existence has not, does not and will not change anything outside of maybe making everyone around me miserable

4. I guess I've just learned to live with it? I know I'm utterly fucked up, I just...try to survive while being myself

Gemini:

1. Not really? Self-conscious about a lot of them, though.

2. Yeah, I would say I probably do appear a lot more confident or proud to other people than I really am

3. As with Aries, I don't just leave people behind if I've actually known them

Huh. This one has less questions, but surprisingly none of them fit me. Gj.

Cancer:

1. Because it helps people warm up to me and that helps me find people I fit with. I don't want to be pushed away immediately because I've been an ass before, I want people to see how I behave before pushing me away, I suppose. Besides, I'm trying to change.

2. No.

3. I want to feel loved and wanted

4. Probably not, no. I'll feel guilty about it, but that's about the most I'm likely to do.

Leo:

1. Okay, so what is basically this question has appeared before. See Taurus for the answer.

2. I'm an aggressive, argumentative fuck who gets defensive without thinking. I guess since my book smarts are the only good thing I could possibly even have about me, I will fiercely defend my 'intelligence'

3. I'm probably open enough for people to figure that stuff out from just talking to me. Otherwise, I do sometimes rant about myself. Though I struggle to acknowledge that people can still care about me despite them

Virgo:

1. Because it distracts from rationality. And can be embarrassing or painful.

2. See my post with Aries

3. I do realize I'm not perfect, but not so much that I don't have to be, I guess

Libra:

1. I don't. Though I do get really anxious about what I put out to the public??

2. It doesn't really

3. Yes.

Scorpio:

1. I'm not funny. And have no sense of humour.

2. I think this was answered in Taurus.

3. Eh, I don't lie that much.

Sagittarius:

1. My fragile sense of self-worth

2. Because I can't even when I want to. My empathy is severely lacking

3. Maybe? Honestly no actual narcissist does

4. See the first answer

Capricorn:

1. I have no communication skills and am scared of people

2. Probably not. I trust no one I don't know.

3. Because I'm a lazy piece of shit that could do so much more

Aquarius:

1. Because I'm scared it's false and just pity

2. See Sagittarius

3. Probably not

Pisces:

1. No

2. Because I feel that I deserve it

3. Sometimes?

4. This has definitely been answered at least once before

Questions for the Signs

Aries

Why do you hurt people without consideration?

Does it ever get tiring, keeping so many secrets?

Why are you scared of letting others help you?

Why do you jump so quickly into relationships only to leave just as quick?

Taurus

Why do you need others peoples approval?

Why do you not believe in yourself?

Do you not think you’re worth more, do you not see all the value you have?

Do you like to feel broken or have you just learned to live with the pain?

Gemini

Are you afraid of your flaws?

Do you fake your confidence so people can’t see how self conscious you truly are?

Have you ever stopped to think how others feel when you leave them behind because you got bored?

Cancer

Why do you claim to be innocent when you are guilty of so much pain and abuse?

Can you not live independently?

Why must you jump into relationship before you are even aware of what love is?

Will you ever take responsibility for you own actions?

Leo

Why do other people’s opinions matter so much to you?

Why do you have to win ever argument you get into?

Will you ever be able to fully shown another person your flaws and insecurities and realize they still love you even if you’re not perfect?

Virgo

Why do you see emotions as a vulnerability?

Are you so proud and mighty that you must go through life without ever letting others help you?

Why are you incapable of realizing you aren’t perfect, but it’s okay that youre not perfect?

Libra

Why do you try so hard to make sure nobody ever finds out who you really are?

Why does your social appearance dictate how you live your life?

Do you think you are only worth love if you conceal your true self?

Scorpio

Why do you hide your loneliness behind your humor?

Do you not see all the value you’re worth?

Why do you expect people to be honest to you when you always lie and deceive others?

Sagittarius

Why do you have to one up people every single chance you get?

Why do you never take other people’s feelings into consideration?

Do you know how much of a narcissist you are?

Is there a reason you need to be better than everybody?

Capricorn

Why is it so hard for you to express your emotions to others?

Will you ever stop and realize other people can help you, you aren’t alone?

Why do you push yourself so hard and still never think you’re enough?

Aquarius

Why are you so scared of accepting the love people have for you?

How can you be so oblivious to other people’s emotions?

Will you ever learn that some things are better left unsaid?

Pisces

Are you capable of being your own person instead of just following everybody else?

Why do you let others walk all over you?

Do you know that your opinions and feeling are just as valid as everybody else’s?

Will you ever let other people see who you truly are instead if putting on some “innocent” facade?