#SOMEONE forgot to post chapter 2 on tumblr when it came out months ago | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

strawberryfairi · 4 months ago

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Synopsis✨: The story of how you catch heavy feelings for the hot photography student, Shuji Hanma…even though you already have the perfect (fake) boyfriend.

Pairings: Photography Student! Shuji Hanma X Dance Major! Black Fem 🤎 Reader (ANYONE CAN READ🧚🏾‍♀️) Content: Drama, lots of denial, angst, sneaky link, lots of cheating, mutual pining, unserious Shuji, controlling parents, forced relationships, romance, fighting, porn with a good plot vibes, intense sexual tension, etc (just find out the rest lol)

w.c: 4k💠 Released: August 30, 2024

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NOTE🧚🏾‍♀️: Ok so y'all...here's the tea. Not I forgot to post this on Tumblr after I had already put it up on wattpad I mean like over 2 months ago😅 I KNOW I KNOW DANG I'M SO SORRY Y'ALL OMG. I'm glad I realized this cause uhhh....yeah😭

C.W: TRIGGER WARNING! Angst (nothing really dark though), illegal drugs mentioned, mentions of date rape/sexual assault, reader has a seizure, "Rape Kit" (Sexual Assault Forensic Exam) Mentioned, Best Friend Keisuke Baji is supportive!!!

10; Allegations 指控

Shuji feels a heavy weight partially lift off of his shoulders when he sees you finally awake, but it also pained him the way you looked so tired and devastated, sitting there with red, puffy eyes.

"Hey pretty girl." He says softly, reaching over and wiping a few stray tears with the back of his hand. It felt so strange to him, being so soft and gentle with someone, and caring so much. He never realized how powerful tears could be until right now. You had his heart clenching and didn't even know it.

"I don't feel pretty. I feel terrible." You mutter blandly with a light sniffle, looking down with a deep frown on your lips.

"Trust me you're still a ten even in a hospital bed." He grins, attempting to lighten the mood, but honestly...it was just truly how he felt.

"Stop..." You purse your lips together, trying not to smile at that.

"I mean it." He says softly, leaning down and giving you a quick, uncharacteristically gentle kiss.

Finally you give him a smile, that cute, shy smile that gets him every time. But as fast as the smile appeared, it faded right back into that same deep frown from before. "I-...I don't want you to go away." You murmur sadly, looking up at him with nearly desperate looking eyes.

Shuji furrows his brows. "What're you talkin' about? I'm right here. I'm not goin' anywhere."

"No." You shake your head, "I mean...I-I don't want you to leave me. I don't want this to go away." Your tone is so quiet he almost doesn't hear you, or really, he almost doesn't believe you actually just said that.

"Angel...-

"I don't want you to be like this with another girl; doing to her what you do to me. I want you to just be this way with me, 'cause I-...I li-

Abruptly, Shuji cuts you off with a soft kiss. He wasn't fully sure why he went and did it but, it was just the first thing that came to his mind. Slowly he pulls away, his eyes closed as he struggles to manage the awkward and unnecessarily aggressive pounding in his chest.

"Don't say it." He whispers desperately.

"But-

"I'm serious, you don't know what you're talkin' about. I don't think you really mean all this." He says rather uneasily.

"No, I do! I mean it, I like you!" You assert in a bit of a whiny tone, looking up at him with the most sincerest expression you could muster.

"No", He shakes his head, "No, you don't. You're just...probably feelin' emotional right now 'cause of everything goin' on." He concludes. Truly he wasn't sure he could handle hearing this from you.

You frown, but press on anyways, determined to get your feelings across. "I like you, Shuji. I wanna be more-

"Stop." He says wearily, shaking his head. The more you say it the more it forces him to have to actually acknowledge it, actually do something about it, and he had no idea what to do about this.

"Don't you?! Don't you like me too?! You really don't feel anything for me; not-..not at all?!" Your eyes instantly blur for the thousandth time, small tears starting to make their way down your cheeks just as you had finally stopped crying a second ago.

Shuji sighs exasperatedly, feeling like an asshole for making you cry, even though he was ninety eight percent sure this was purely just heat of the moment, high emotions talk. "Come on, don't cry angel; where's this even comin' from? You have a boyfriend, remember? You know that. You can't ask me somethin' like this." He coos, wiping away your tears with his thumb. He felt so hypocritical saying that. Since when has he ever given a shit about you having a boyfriend?

"So, you don't then? This whole time you-...you don't really like me?" You sniffle, casting your gaze downwards in a mix of hurt and embarrassment. Shuji feels stuck, at a complete loss as he tries to rack his brain for something to say that could possibly diffuse this. For the first time ever he feels completely overwhelmed by a situation; by another person. This was way too far out of his usual territory, and it's throwing him off.

"I-...look, I really don't think this is the right time to talk about-

"Do you or not?!" You press, becoming annoyed at the way he keeps fumbling around and deflecting. For a moment there's nothing but silence between you two. Both eyes locked onto one another stubbornly, inaudibly waiting for the other to crack and accept their loss.

Then finally, Shuji looks to the side with a grunt, jaw clenched tightly while facepalming in defeat. "...I do." He admits in a hushed, low tone.

"What?" You mutter in surprise, blinking a few times.

"I got feelings for you. I've had feelings for you for a while now." He clarifies, his tone still soft yet there's a clear discomfort. "But...you know I don't know anything about that boyfriend stuff; I'm not good at that kind'a thing. I can't give you what you need." He adds apologetically. Instantly you feel a small sharp sting in your heart, completely taken aback by his excuse.

"What does that mean? You-.. so you don't wanna be with me?" You mutter.

Shuji feels genuinely terrible, the way your voice is shaking with that hurt expression, it's killing him. "It's not about if I wanna be with you. Even if I wanted to you're already with somebody else. We can't be more than this anyways." He shakes his head, brushing your tear stained cheek with the back of his fingers.

You use a little bit of strength to place your small hand over his. "If I wasn't with him would you be with me?" You ask, looking him right in the eyes, not at all believing his words. He's never been the type to not go after something he wanted, no matter if it was his or not.

Shuji huffs tiredly, once again feeling cornered by your difficult questions. "I mean, I don't know, I-

"Would you?" You cut him off, your tone soft yet you were clearly getting impatient.

You and that look in your eyes is gonna be the death of him for sure. "If you weren't with him you'd probably already be my girl by now." He admits straight away. Inwardly he was cringing so hard at himself, second guessing his own response.

That sounded sappy as fuck...

You seemed to think otherwise though, with the way your lips instantly curve into a small, warm smile. "I wanna be your girl, Shuji." You hum longingly. Softly, you brush your pretty lips against the back of his tattooed hand, looking him in the eyes with a passion-filled gaze all the while.

"What the hell are you doin', angel?" Shuji whispers breathlessly. The audacity to say something like that and do something like that, all while looking at him like that...

In any other normal situation you pulling off something like this would damn sure have him bending you over the nearest surface and making you his girl. Shit, you could be whatever you wanted talking to him like that!

"I'm just telling you what I want." You murmur honestly against his hand.

"I think...the drugs are talkin' right now." He chokes out hesitantly, using every bit of his strength to block out all the loud, sexual thoughts trying to force its way to the forefront of his mind. "I don't care, it's still how I feel. I wanna be with you." You answer without even a second of hesitation, shaking your head.

Shuji wonders if this must be how you feel when he acts this way towards you, a wild mixture of feeling both so tempted yet so damn conflicted. Then just to make it even worse you have him fully seduced and wrapped around your little ass finger, ready to do whatever you ask.

"Only you would have me genuinely turned on while literally laying in a hospital bed." He facepalms, resting his head down on your shoulder.

"Maybe..." You start rather arbitrarily, turning your head towards him as you let go of his hand, "The next time I'm in a hospital bed will be because you finally put a baby in me." You murmur innocently.

"What?!" Shuji instantly whips his head up, blinking a few times while looking at you with his jaw on the floor. For the first time in his life something someone else has said to him has him literally dumbfounded. The audacity...the randomness, it was so....hot. His brain was completely malfunctioning, both trying to process and replay your words at the same time to make sure he actually heard you right.

Meanwhile you're just sitting there, sheepishly pursing your lips together to hide the little cutesy smile on your face, and it's making him mad. More like a concerning level of sexually frustrated, but that's besides the point. It's heinous the way you have him fully bricked up and ready in this stupid ass hospital, yet he can't do anything about it, and you're literally proud about that! It should be illegal to say something like that so innocently. You knew exactly what you were doing, and you knew it was working too.

"You don't know what you're sayin'. You-...you're talkin' crazy, baby." He says softly, shaking his head while running a hand through his dark hair.

"No I'm not." You deny in such an innocent, sweet tone.

"Yeah, ok. We'll see if that's still how you feel when you're fully sober." He sighs, deeply inhaling and exhaling to keep that tiny little shred of composure he had left.

Then with absolutely perfect timing, Dr. Chen walks back in with a clipboard full of documents. Thank God, if he had stayed any longer he was a undoubtedly sure he was gonna end up risking it all in this hospital and doing some shit he really shouldn't.

"I have the documents here for you to sign and give consent for the forensic exam process." She states politely, walking over to the other side of the hospital bed and placing the clipboard on your lap.

"Feel free to stay if you'd like. We can't start until all the documents are signed, so you have some time." She adds, turning her attention to him.

"Nah nah, I should go." He shakes his head. "I'll come back later." He adds softly, giving you one last look before making his way to the door.

Just as Shuji leaves your room, a familiar face makes him stop dead in his tracks. It's your late ass "boyfriend", and he looks pissed, storming over to him with his eyes blazing with animosity.

Perfect timing....how ironic.

"I fuckin' knew it. I knew it would be you!" He grits out, stepping right up to him.

On the bright side, this is the perfect opportunity for Shuji to let off some of his frustration. Definitely not in the way he'd like to, but...it'll have to do for now.

Meanwhile, Keisuke and Kazutora are just down the hall, coming back from one of the nearest vending machines with their hands full of snacks. "Wait wait wait, you hear that?" Kazutora murmurs, slowing to a stop as he listens intently to the semi-faded yelling.

"Is that Ryuguji?! How the hell does he know about this?!" Kei rambles in bewilderment.

"Oh, I texted him a while ago. I figured he'd wanna know since it's his girlfriend." Kazutora shrugs plainly.

"You idiot..." Kei narrows his eyes.

"What?! What'd I do?!"

"Bro, they're not on good terms right now!" Kei scolds.

"Who?! Hanma and Ryuguji?" Kazutora's brows furrow.

"Nooooo! Ryuguji and Y/N aren't cool right now! But I mean, I guess him and Hanma aren't cool either."

Kazutora's mouth falls into an "O" shape, the both of them going silent as they listen in to whatever was going on.

"Don't fuckin' play these stupid ass games with me! I know for a fact you're the one fuckin' my girl! Don't even try to act like it's not true, Hanma!" Ryuguji accuses.

Both Kei and Kazutora's eyes go wide, mouths dropping as they look at each other utterly shook.

"Whaaaaaat?!" Kazutora mouths quietly.

"What is goin' on?!" Kei murmurs.

"Did you know that?!" Kazutora whispers.

"Hell no! I didn't even know he knew Y/N!" Kei shakes his head frantically.

"Woooooow." Kazutora whispers.

"Your girl?! You're really bitchin' to me about games when you're the one playing pretend with her every single day. She's literally never been your girl." Hanma claps back nonchalantly.

"Wait what?!" Kazutora gasps once again.

"Ok, well see, that I did know." Kei murmurs.

"What does he mean pretend?!" Kazutora whispers.

"So like, Y/N and Ryuguji are actually a fake couple, bro. They're not really together; never have been." Kei explains briefly.

At this point Kazutora has to take a short lap, his brain failing to comprehend the whole situation. "Wait hold up, hold up. Y/N and Ryuguji...aren't actually together. Then on top of that, she's in a whole separate thing with Hanma at the same time?!"

"I-..I guess so, yeah. She didn't tell me the part with Hanma though; I have no idea where or when he came in." Keisuke shrugs, feeling just as lost as his friend.

"It's like a fake love triangle. No, a...love diagonal? I don't even know, college is crazy bro." Kazutora shakes his head. "Should we like...break this up though?"

"Not even gonna lie, I'm kinda trynna hear this." Kei admits with a guilty laugh. "No facts, this is dramatic as fuck." Kazutora nods, joining in with the laughter, then tuning back into the argument.

"That doesn't matter! You probably didn't even know it was fake until she told you at some point! That means before that, you knew we were together, yet you still went after her anyways!" Ken rants.

Shuji pauses for a second, looking to the side in thought before forming a response. "Ok...sure. You're still not actually together though, so being mad at me is crazy. You should actually be her real boyfriend in the first place before being this pissed that she's fuckin' someone else." Hanma shrugs plainly.

Kazutora leans over towards Keisuke, whispering quietly "They're really deadass fighting over her..."

"No like, in the middle of a hospital too. When has Hanma ever argued over a girl, bro?" Keisuke says in a dazed tone.

"Never...never." Kazutora responds.

"If this were the other way around-

"If this were the other way around she'd actually be mine. I would never be caught in a fake ass relationship then have the audacity to be mad when I find out she's fuckin' someone else! That's just straight idiot behavior." Shuji cuts off Ken annoyedly, his tone fully condescending.

"You're going out of your way to miss the point, Hanma! You're a fuckin' snake!" Ken rants.

"I'm a snake 'cause your "girlfriend" wants to be with me instead?!"

"Because you stole her from me! On purpose!"

"She's not yours to steal! You're relationship is faaake! That shit ain't real!" Shuji stresses.

Ken clenches his jaw angrily. "Unlike you, I actually give a damn about her! And honestly, wether our relationship's real or not, I'm the one she's with at the end of the day, not you!" Ken points out with angry finality. And with that, Shuji was completely over this argument. Using being a fake boyfriend as a flex was the dumbest shit he's ever heard possibly in his whole life.

"Right, sure. She might be your "girlfriend" or whatever, but that doesn't really mean shit when I'm all she thinks about every time she's with you." He countered with a level of pride that made Ken's blood boiling hot.

"Ooooo..." Both Kazutora and Keisuke murmur lowly. "That was excellent. He won with that one." Kazutora says, hovering a hand over his mouth. "To be honest, Ryuguji was never gonna win this. They've been "together" for like two years and he's still never bothered to make it official?! No, he's trash. Completely fumbled the bag."

"Y/N's pretty too, he really-

Kazutora cuts himself off, watching with wide eyes as Ryuguji suddenly goes for a punch right for Hanma's face. "OOOOHHHH!" The two guys gasp loudly. "I knew that was comin'." Keisuke shakes his head. Ken went and set things off to a whole other level. Both of them start full out fighting right in the middle of the waiting area...in the middle of a hospital.

"Shit, alright, we gotta jump in! You get Hanma, I'll handle Ryuguji!" Keisuke says hurriedly. The two of them sort of scramble around for a second, trying to figure out where to put their snacks before just leaving it all on the floor and racing over to the fight.

"Ryuguji, chill the fuck out! You're in a hospital! This is crazy!" Keisuke scolds, grabbing him by the forearm. It was like Kei wasn't even there with the way Ken just kept swinging and shit talking. It didn't take too much for Kazutora to get Hanma to back off, seeing as he wasn't nearly as pissed.

"Just admit you're jealous, Hanma!" Ryuguji shouts.

"You're so delusional it's actually sad. The only one jealous is you 'cause you know Y/N doesn't feel the same way about you!" Shuji retaliates.

"Don't even bother, don't even bother." Kazutora says, shaking his head as he tries to drag Hanma along towards the hallway him and Keisuke had just came from.

"Do you even actually give a shit about her-

"Ryuguji shut the fuck up!" Keisuke outbursts loudly. That last bit Ken had said just hit him all kinds of wrong. Finally he shuts up, no longer struggling against Keisuke's grasp as he looks at him with wide eyes, completely caught off guard that he'd went and yelled at him like that.

"You're really over here talkin' about if he gives a shit about Y/N?! Do you even realize that as soon as you got here the very first thing you decided to do was start a stupid ass argument with Hanma when your supposed girlfriend is literally laying in a hospital bed right there?!" Keisuke rants, pointing over at your room just a few feet away.

Ken freezes, the awareness of what he did, or rather didn't do, finally starting to sink in. There were so many people staring at him, looks of distaste being thrown his way from the nurses, families, and patients alike.

"Exactly. I swear Ryuguji I don't know what the hell's goin' on with you lately, but you need to get it together real fuckin' quick. There's no way you really believe you love Y/N when not at any point did you go and check on her, or even just look at her to see if she's fine! She got drugged, bro; she had a seizure! When I went in there she was scared as fuck, she could barely even move! You'd actually know all that had you gone in there to see her!"

The more Keisuke spoke the more utterly embarrassed Ken felt. Once again he goes and screws everything up by running his mouth. It wasn't like he wasn't worried about you or didn't wanna check on you, it's just...when he saw Hanma come out of your room his mind went somewhere else.

It's the fact that he was here before him, already having checked on you and supporting you; probably holding you close and making sure you felt safe. It made him feel like a failure. What good was he when already three other guys were here for you?

It's what he's always been afraid of, that you're just fine and completely unfazed without him. For the longest time that's been his worst nightmare, and somehow he never thought it could get worse than how bad it already was.

Now Hanma's just his nightmare in physical form. The personification of all his fears when it comes to you, and during his entire argument with him all Ken could hear in his mind was:

He's everything I'm not...

Horrific images of the two of you together haunted him every second he looked at Hanma. He could see your arms around him, exchanging kisses and smiles; running your little fingers through his hair. Any thought of your desperate boyfriend completely gone out of your mind.

Honestly Ken just wants you to need him like he needs you. To feel like you have nothing if you don't have him. He wants you to fall apart without him so he can come and piece you back together, like how you'd always do with him. But today just made it obvious.

That's probably never gonna happen...

Then right on cue, he spots someone at the end of one of the hallways that led from the main lobby of the hospital.

Your mother.

Everybody's hearts seemed to drop to their feet at the sight of her. It didn't take rocket science for Shuji and Kazutora to realize you were related. You were this woman's spitting image. "Ms. L/N..." Keisuke whispers under his breath, taking a step away from Ken. With a strained exhale she makes her way over to where Ken and Keisuke are in the center of the waiting area. Kazutora and Hanma are completely frozen, just watching as she approaches the other two.

"Ms. L/N, I-I'm so sorr-

She doesn't even look at Ken, just raises her hand without a word, immediately silencing him. She definitely heard and saw everything, or at least a good portion. That much was obvious.

"Keisuke?" She says lowly, actually looking at him.

"Yes ma'am?" He responds instantly, tone dripping with politeness and respect.

"Take me to my daughter's room. Right now." Ms. L/N demands, her voice making it clear she was not trynna hear anything other than yes.

"Ok. She's in here." He nods, quickly making his way to her side.

"Thank you." She breathes out tiredly.

Ken stands there, eyes wide in a mixture of embarrassment and shock. Your mom really chose Keisuke over him...right in front of him. She'd rather a friend go in there with her than her own daughter's boyfriend?! At this point he couldn't tell which thing hurt more, the fact that you're slipping away from him, or the fact that your mom didn't even trust him anymore.

Later That Evening

Your eyes could barely stay open from how tired you are at this point. You needed your bed immediately, and nothing else.

The examination process was finally over, and you were almost cleared to leave the hospital, but your mom's constant rambling and nagging was just getting started.

"-You hear me? Not another second with that boy!"

"Who? Keisuke?" You murmur tiredly, brows slightly furrowed in genuine confusion.

"No! I mean that boy you've been messing around with! He's caused nothing but trouble for you, and I've had enough! I'm over it; this is too much!" She stresses, gesturing towards all of you with a hand.

"He's not the one that did this." You shake your head. It hadn't even fully registered to you that she's somehow well aware about you and Shuji.

"That's not the point, Y/N. I don't want you around him anymore; I mean that."

You didn't have the energy to put up much of a fight and protest, honestly you were sure you'd probably go home and forget this conversation too just like everything else from today. Once the doctors clear you, your mom decides to be the one to take you back to your dorm, leaving Keisuke, Ken, and everyone else to head off by themselves.

Your mom came with you all the way up to your dorm room, making sure you were in there safe and sound before finally heading out. Of course not without making it clear for the thousandth time that she doesn't want you anywhere near Shuji.

Immediately you practically rip your clothes off then plop face first right onto your plush bed. "What kind of day was this?" You whisper to yourself, that weighty, dark feeling making its way back onto your shoulders with full force. It was shocking yet really not that no more tears were left, your body too exhausted to do anything else but lay. Weakly you get yourself under the blankets, snuggling and curling into a little ball to comfort yourself and bring some warmth.

A/N🧚🏾‍♀️: AAAWWWWWW Not the confession🥺 I had been debating for a while with this chapter if I wanted the reader or Shuji to confess first teehee

#strawberryfairi🧚🏾‍♀️#shuji hanma x reader #shuji hanma x reader smut #ken ryuguji x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #shuji hanma x black fem reader #black female writer #black fem reader #shuji hanma #shuji #hanma #smut #tokyo revengers x black reader #tokyo rev #a mile away ㊙️

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scribeofred · 3 years ago

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Thanks to @onereyofstarlight for the tag!

1. What fandoms have you written for?

This is embarrassing but I actually had to look at both FFnet and AO3 because I couldn’t remember all of them. TRON: Legacy, Assassin’s Creed, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, Sherlock, Final Fantasy VII and XV and Kingsglaive, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Merlin, Skyrim, and, of course, Thunderbirds. I have a couple other fandoms that crop up in various wips, including a Tom Swift/Thunderbirds crossover that I really should finish.

2. How many works do you have on AO3 &/or FFNet?

FFnet has 45, and AO3 has 41. There’s also a couple stories lurking on tumblr, notably a final chapter for Reflection.

3. What are your top 3 fics by kudos on A03 &/or Favs on FFNet?

AO3 dominates in this area, if I can use a word like “dominates” for stories that have less than 125 kudos each haha. Oh well, the numbers don’t matter!

1. 118 kudos on tell the shades apart (my world is black and white)

2. 94 kudos on Reflection

3. 91 kudos on The 43rd Hour

4. Which 3 fics have the least kudos & Favs?

Again on AO3:

1 kudos on I Am You (And You Are Me)

5 kudos on The Dragonborn Chronicles

6 kudos on cynosure

5. Which Fic has the most comments and which has the least?

Reflection has the most at 29 threads, and I Am You (And You Are Me) has the least at zero.

6. Which complete fic do you wish had gotten more attention?

Lodestar, definitely. Sure, it’s for something of a rarepair, but they aren’t that rare, and I just really really like the way the story came together. On the other hand, of course my unfinished Merlin fic has gotten probably the most attention, because that’s just the way it goes, eh?

7. Have you written any crossovers?

None that I’ve published! I have various crossovers lurking in mostly unfinished states, including the aforementioned Tom Swift/Thunderbirds crossover, and an Assassin’s Creed/Thundeerbirds crossover that is very good and I should also finish. There’s an Expanse/Thunderbirds fic lurking in my brain that I may or may not ever commit to paper, who knows. I’ve also very vaguely toyed with a Batman/Thunderbirds crossover, in the sense that “nebulous” is too strong a word for the kind of toying I’ve been doing.

8. What is the craziest fic you’ve written?

I don’t really write crazy or crack or humor in general, so probably the closest thing to “crazy” is On the Lam, which was the result of wanting to throw Scott and Penelope toward an Egyptian stud farm. It ended up being the host for a bad joke about that, courtesy of one @thebaconsandwichofregret, who consistently gives some of the best dialogue advice I’ve ever encountered.

Actually, the true answer is probably a chapter in Glimpses into a Supernova, maybe the one about blood? It seems bonkers when I think back on it now, but I admittedly haven’t read it in many years. Possibly I am misremembering. Glimpses has some weird ones, though.

9. What’s the fic you’ve written with the saddest ending?

It’s a tossup between The Painting and a place where the water touches the sky. The former deals with a prior off-screen death; the latter is (maybe??) an on-screen death. People seemed upset by it, at any rate. I said it was ambiguous!

10. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

“Happy” is probably a matter of perspective? Depends on the overall reading experience and the ending within that context. Either septet or Three Towels and a Tracy, they’re both pretty fluffy overall.

11. What is your smuttiest fic?

protoinstincts, which I completely forgot I wrote and then rediscovered like a year later and realized “hey, this is actually pretty good” and you know what, despite it not being overly spicy, it is pretty good.

12. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not hate, per se, but someone left a review on Less Than Nothing saying they “didn’t like” that I “wrote the story as a series of drabbles.” Cool, I didn’t write the story for you, random guest reader, and the back button exists, friend 😂 It didn’t bother me on a personal level because I wrote the fic for an audience of one (incidentally, not myself and rather the recipient of a secret santa event), but I was mad because the reviewer had no way of knowing where I was at as a writer, and I know from longtime observation how that kind of comment can crush less experienced or confident writers.

Don’t leave flames, kids, you don’t understand the power your words have. Don’t like, don’t read.

13. What is the nicest comment you’ve received?

The nicest? Goodness. Hmm. I’d have to go hunting to find the nicest, but in recent memory, @ayzrules sent me a couple passages from Spanish texts she’s been studying that reminded her of my writing, and I was honestly so touched by the fact that she even thought to make such comparisons, much less mention them to me. Taking the time to familiarize yourself with someone’s style until you can make comparisons between it and someone else’s work is so much more meaningful to me personally than a basic “Nice story!” or “Loved this!” type of comment ever could be. <3 Ayz <3

14. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of, but I’ve never gone looking on any sort of copycat site or whatever either.

15. How many fics do you have marked as incomplete?

Two. First is The Dragonborn Chronicles, which is a retelling of Skyrim from Lydia’s perspective via her journal, to complement the in-game journal. It’s a slog of a style to write, though, even for someone who loves writing first person and doesn’t really want to write a lot of dialogue, and the outline is huge, and the story will be many times more huge, and just. Some day. Some day.

Second is tell the shades apart (my world is black and white), which has always been unfinished because the outline itself is over seven thousand words and the fully written story would undoubtedly land between 100,000 and 200,000 words, and there’s no way I’m writing that. I’ve always meant to upload the outline, but I got kind of self-conscious about the way I formatted it, and ugh I just haven’t bothered. One day, one day, right?

Moral of the story is I’m intensely a short story writer, and I’ve really found myself settling into that role over the last couple years. Better a clipped, punchy short story than a bloated slog of an epic.

16. Which of the WIPS will most likely be finished first?

Literally no one knows that. I wrote 95% of the observable entropy of a closed system over five years ago, and then I proceeded to pull it out roughly once a year and write and rewrite various endings until last month, which was when I finally figured out how I wanted to end the story. septet, too, languished for about five years before I finally remembered it existed and managed to wrangle an ending. Endings are hard, man. So are those third plot points. Terrible creatures, those, bog me down every time.

17. Which WIP are you looking forward to finishing?

Uh... mm. See. If I were looking forward to finishing any of them, I’d be actively working on them. At this moment, writing fic isn’t exactly high on my list of priorities, but I am also coming off a four-day idle game bender, so I still feel like I haven’t quite reengaged with myself as a living person. Give me another few days and I might have an answer.

(I am always most looking forward to finishing this ridiculous Ignis-drives-the-Audi-R8 fic that’s been languishing in my wips for literal years. As mentioned above, third plot points. Killer, man.)

(oh and also the working-titled the art of murder. Scott and Penny attend a private art auction. Things don’t go to plan. It, too, is stuck at the third plot point. I know, I know I have a problem, shush.)

18. Is there a WIP that you’re considering abandoning?

Any wip has the potential to be revived—this year and the old wips I’ve unearthed, dusted off, finished, and posted have been proof of that. I don’t intentionally permanently abandon anything for that reason, some stories just probably will remain dusty old wips forever because I didn’t actually need or want to write the full story for one reason or another.

19. Which complete fic would you consider rewriting?

Now that’s an interesting question. Hmm! Honestly? None of them. Once I finish a story, I’m not inclined toward rereading it again any time soon, to the point of years in some cases, and I feel like I’ve moved on from the stories I wrote one, two, five, eight years ago in the actual writing sense. They’re finished stories, and on top of that are relics of their time, which doesn’t mean the stories don’t have any ongoing significance on a reading level—I just don’t have any interest in rewriting those particular stories. I’ve gotten them out of my head, to the point of not remembering at least a third of them on demand anymore, and I don’t have any desire to “retell” those exact stories. I do tend to tighten the wording and fix perceived errors/weaknesses whenever I do end up rereading an old story, and I usually silently update the AO3 version if I make any significant changes because AO3 makes it a breeze to update a posted fic. I might do FFnet too if I’m feeling up to it or have the time.

20. Which complete fic is your favourite?

Once upon a time I would’ve said Holding On, but I honestly find it kind of unbearably melodramatic now. the observable entropy of a closed system is equally melodramatic, as it was written in the same era, but at least it has the excuse of being told in second person and via a style that is a half step away from being poetry. Possibly I will reread it in a few years and find it equally obnoxious and overly dramatic, but it received some shockingly positive comments, which I wasn’t expecting at ALL, and I’ve been honestly blown away by the amount of praise it’s received. <3 to everyone who’s said anything about it!

21. What’s your total published word count?

141,000 on AO3, 160,000 on FFnet, but technically the light of my life SS wrote fifty thousand words of each. It’s too late for math.

I tag @velkynkarma, @lurkinglurkerwholurks, @writtenbyrain, @thebaconsandwichofregret, and anyone else who wants to play!

#tag games

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pixelfun20 · 4 years ago

Text

Flower Fields: Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Notes: Again, all credit to @give-grian-rights (hope you don’t mind the tag!) for the concept! Thank you so much! Also almost forgot to post this on Tumblr rip.

No fighting wars, no ringing chimes

We're just feeling fine

Tubbo started out by building his starter base.

It was a concept he’d learned about while living with Xisuma, and it was quite a good one, too. After all, megabases worthy of Hermitcraft’s admittedly lofty standards often took months to build, and he’d need somewhere to live in the meantime. In Season 6, he’d neglected that fact, and had suffered his fair share of mob deaths before he put up four walls and a ceiling to protect himself, back when he’d left to live on his own. And that was with a small, quickly-thrown together base, not the project he was currently planning.

Still, even setting up the basics of his starter base took a few nearly sleepless days. Finally, the framework for the build, a treehouse spanning more than a few trees at the edge of the forest, was up, and Tubbo was finally able to place a bed down in safety and sleep for a solid fourteen hours straight.

Xisuma dropped by, quite literally, a day or so later.

Tubbo had been sitting in his quickly-expanding living room, sorting through the loot he’d gotten from yesterday’s day-long mining session when he swooped down through the half-finished roof. While he was still wearing his bee-themed armor, now there were two glider-like wings, shimmering purple, strapped to his back.

“Heya, X,” Tubbo greeted the admin with a wave, closing one of his chests. “You got elytra already?”

“Tango and I defeated the Ender Dragon yesterday,” Xisuma replied, touching down softly. Tubbo made an ‘ah’ sound, recalling the achievement he’d seen out of the corner of his eye the other day. Right; he’d forgotten about that. Trust X to be as efficient as possible and defeat one of the toughest monsters in the world just for the ease of travel.

“I’ll have to go endbusting soon, then,” he said, more to himself than X. Before the elder man could protest (ah, he was getting good at noticing when he was going to), he added: “Stress and xB have already asked me to go with them, so don’t worry , alright?”

“Good,” Xisuma sighed. “It’s never a good idea to go out on your own, especially since this’ll be your first time seriously exploring the End.”

Tubbo rolled his eyes good naturedly. To be fair, he hadn’t gone out to the End before it had been conquered before. He’d had a fair few trips last Season, mostly with X, but it was generally for the XP farm once it’d been set up. He’d never left the main island before. Now that he had considerably more freedom at the beginning of the Season, he was excited to go exploring.

“Anything bring you over?” He asked, changing the subject.

Xisuma nodded. “Yeah. A bunch of the others are getting together for some sort of wrestling tournament this weekend.”

“And I’ve been invited?!” He grinned, clapping his hands together.

“As the referee.”

“Ah,” he pouted. “Darn.”

“Don’t worry,” Xisuma chuckled, setting down a shulker box. “It can be a lot funner to watch sometimes; I’m just going to be part of the audience, too. I think Doc wanted you because he thinks he can bribe you.”

“He can not !”

Xisuma raised an eyebrow. “Area 77.”

“Oh, that’s not fair. I am completely unbiased!”

“And that was why you became their lawyer and not for all the cool experiments they had. I don’t think Cleo has forgiven you for defeating her in court.”

“No one can defeat Big Law,” Tubbo sniffed, faux-offended, and Xisuma laughed. “Well, I’ll show him!” He declared, crossing his arms. “I’ll just have to make sure he loses, then!” Xisuma blinked, and he laughed. “Kidding! Kidding!” Mostly .

“So you’re going?”

“Sure! It’s nice to see the Hermits all in one place, anyways. What’s in the shulker?”

Xisuma tilted his head teasingly. “What do you think? Someone had to get the supplies for our honey farm.”

Tubbo gaped. “You’re ready to build farms already?! Man, and I thought I was ahead of the game with just having my base halfway done.”

The armored man shrugged, looking about the partially completed build. “Well, you’ve certainly put more effort into this than me. Truly, your building skills are already improving. I love how you’re styling the roof with peaks like you are; it looks like it took a while.”

“My last house had a roof like that, too,” Tubbo reminded him, glancing up as well. It had become a tradition, of sorts, to build curved, peaked roofs onto his builds. Last season it had been one of the few things he’d built slowly to make look as good as possible. In all honesty, it was his own way of honoring the person who’d made it possible for him to come here, to have a life worth living once again. Rushing through the technique just felt disrespectful.

“Yes, but you’ve definitely gotten better.” Xisuma bent down over the shulker box, checking its contents. “Do you have any good ideas for where to make the bee farm? I’ll admit, I’ve been a bit too busy to scout out a good area.”

“Really? Then where’d you get these guys?”

“Tree farming in the desert.”

Tubbo snorted into his hand, and he could practically feel Xisuma’s embarrassment. “Well, you did say you hadn’t scouted out a good spot.”

“Indeed I did.”

“I can take a look around here and see what I can find. Meadows are supposed to be excellent places for farming bees, right?”

“Indeed it is,” Xisuma agreed. “Do you have plans for your megabase, yet?”

Tubbo nodded, grinning. “And trust me, it’s going to be awesome .”

............

Two days later, a chicken appeared in his base. Tubbo found it laying an egg in what was starting to become the base’s storage area, with one of his shirts nearly ripped to shreds in what appeared to be a makeshift nest.

There was a nametag wrapped around its leg. After some chicken wrangling and a few feathers to the face, he got a good look at it and realized there wasn’t a name written there, but a set of coordinates.

A set of coordinates rather far away, but who was he to turn down such an intriguing mystery?

With the chicken now renamed Wilbur and placed in a pen (he’d needed a chicken farm anyways), Tubbo set out that morning with a few supplies to find the spot he was looking for. After crossing a fair bit of forest and ocean, by the next day he’d found himself cutting his way through the underbrush of an overgrown jungle and wondering why in the world Stress had wanted to wait a week before going to get their elytra.

He pushed a few low-hanging vines out of the way, checking his communicator for the upteenth time. He was getting closer, now. This better be worth going out a few hundred chunks in the middle of nowhere—hey, wait a minute!

There was smoke in the distance. He could just make it out through the leaves, and now that he concentrated, he could smell it, too. Tubbo rushed forwards, pushing through the brush to see several man-made wooden pillars sticking out. As he pressed forwards, he made out a semi-stone floor, several chests, and a small fire in the middle, explaining the smoke.

“What is this?” He asked himself, looking around the place. The coordinates were right, and yet no one was here. Just this outpost in the middle of the jungle.

Tubbo walked around. There were some papers pinned to the wall, and a few dispensers lying around. Idly he pressed the buttons on them, already starting to form a plan to enact revenge on whoever made him travel over a day to get this place.

He pressed the button on the dispenser in the middle of the build and nearly got an arrow to the face.

Tubbo yelped, his reflexes, honed from a half year of training, the only thing saving him from a sudden death. A bell rang behind him, but it took him a few more moments to calm his racing heart.

“Not funny! You nearly took my head off!” He shouted to the jungle. Still, he didn’t leave, instead turning to the bell the arrow had his, examining it. Huh.

There were some cookies in one of the chests, probably left behind by whoever had actually built the place. He nibbled on it, only half hungry, as he tried to examine the place better.

“HERMIT CHALLENGES!”

Tubbo shrieked , dropping the remains of his cookie as the voice rang through the forest air. He looked around, trying to find the source, but found that he couldn’t.

“INITIATION!”

A diamond-clad figure dropped out of the vines above, landing with a firm thud on one of the ground dispensers. He nearly lost his balance before righting himself with a huff.

“Mumbo!” Tubbo exclaimed, a little annoyed but mostly impressed.

“INITIATION!” He shouted at the top of his lungs. “HERMIT CHALLENGES! YOU ARE BEING INDUCTED.”

“How long have you been up there?! It took me over a day to get here.”

“No matter, Mr. Tubbo! Congratulations! You’re in!”

“...Thanks?”

“Of course, my friend! You have been inducted into Hermit Challenges! Of course, you could have eaten the entire cookie—” he glanced down at the crumbs at Tubbo’s feet. “But besides that you have acted perfectly.”

“Wait, what is Hermit Challenges?” Tubbo asked, blinking. What? This version of Mumbo was almost nothing like the Mumbo he’d seen at Spawn a mere week and a half ago. Who used chickens to deliver messages? Or perch in a tree for supposed hours on end?

Okay, he had to admit, that last one was pretty funny.

“Oh, it’s a game I’ve made up,” Mumbo continued. “Iskall and I have already had a go at it, and I figured I’d invite you next.”

“...Alright, then. How do I play?”

“It’s simple! Write down three challenges and put them in the dispenser. Then we’ll pick one at random from each other.”

Mumbo reached into one of the chests on the ground, taking out a sheath of paper and passing three to him with a pen. Tubbo looked at him, and Mumbo grinned.

“Go on! I’m sure you’ll have something fun in that head of yours.”

Ah, he was right. Tubbo gave in with a smile, leaning back and thinking briefly about what he wanted to challenge Mumbo. A few ideas came to mind, and he quickly scribbled them down, pushing them into one of the two dispensers on the side of the small build, Mumbo doing the same.

“Alright, then!” Mumbo announced with a smile. “You go first.”

Tubbo stepped towards Mumbo’s dispenser and clicked the button, causing a slip of paper to slide out. He unrolled it, then read it out loud.

“‘Steal everyone’s front doors for the rest of the season.’ What? The whole season?!”

Mumbo laughed. “Oh, that one! Man, you got the hardest one from me!”

“Well, I’m sure it’s nothing compared to what you’ll get from me.”

“We’ll see,” Mumbo said with a chuckle. He moved across the platform, and pressed the button the dispenser Tubbo had put his challenges in. The dispenser whirred, and then another slip of paper popped out. Mambo picked it up and read off of it, face contorting as he did so. “...‘Act like you don’t believe in the moon for the next two weeks, and claim the sky is a hologram put up by the SCA (Secret Chickens Agency) to keep us from seeing the real overlords- the sky chickens.’ What?”

Tubbo snickered at that, covering his mouth with one hand. Oh, he was proud of that one.

“No, seriously, this is awfully specific.”

“What? It’s funny!”

“Funny for you!” But Mumbo was smiling, and Tubbo grinned back at him.

“I’m going to be having a fun few weeks,” he giggled.

“So am I,” Mumbo agreed with a raised eyebrow, tucking the slip of paper away. He clapped Tubbo’s shoulder. “I suppose I’ll have to make up a good story to go with this prompt.”

“And I have some doors to steal!” Tubbo laughed.

“Whoever gets the first complaint in chat wins?”

“You’re on!”

#tubbo #tubbolive #hermitcraft #mcyt #xisumavoid #mumbo jumbo #hermit challenges #fluff #Hermit!Tubbo AU #watcher!tubbo #it took me like a month but hey I updated

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sweetiepie08 · 5 years ago

Text

Rebelz Chapter 5

While analyzing Zim’s PAK for weaknesses, Tak discovers strange coding that sends her on a search for answers. The clues lead her to uncover a conspiracy that governs all of Irken society. When the truth sends her on the run, she has no choice but to return to the one place the Tallest would never willingly go: Urth.

Meanwhile, Dib has noticed odd changes in Zim’s behavior. Has the invader simply grown bored of his mission over the last few years, or is there something more interesting going on?

People who asked to be tagged: @incorrect-invader-zim , @messinwitheddie, @reblogstupids, @cate-r-gunn, @agentpinerulesall

If anyone else would like to be added to the tag list feel free to message me. Also, if you’re on the tag list and you changed your name, please just let me know.

(thought I posted this a month ago, but either I forgot or it got eaten by the tumblr void.)

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10.

[-]

Jerry had just smashed Tom’s foot with a hammer when Dib realized he was watching the robot’s cartoons more than he was watching the house. He’d been staring at these screens all day. Tak hadn't shown up at all. Zim did turn up for a few minutes, but that was hours ago and he hadn't come back since. There were no fights, no screams, no explosions, or at least not that Dib could see. The only noteworthy thing that happened was Zim choking on a soda. Was there really nothing going on?

His eyes drifted to the clock. 6:30 already? He'd just wasted most of his day watching old cartoons through a security feed. His stomach rumbled reminding him he hadn't eaten since noon.

Dib looked back at his monitors. Tom chased Jerry around the room. Jerry ducked into his mousehole and Tom rammed his face into the wall. The robot laughed. Dib’s stomach rumbled again. The idea of a break started to sound appealing.

“Hey Gaz,” he called hitting the record button, “You hungry?”

“Yeah,” she called back.

“You want to order a pizza?” He slid off his chair and started out of the room. “I was thinking we could have dinner while we watched that documentary.”

He headed downstairs and found Gaz in the kitchen. She already had the phone in one hand in the Pizza Factory menu in the other. “I'm thinking Peppers and onions,” she said, not dialing the phone.

“How about sausage?

Her face twisted in disgust. “No pork.”

“Okay, fair enough,” he conceded. That shadow hog thing still weighed on his conscience. “Cheddar cheese? Oh, and get garlic bread.”

Gaz nodded and put the phone to her ear.

Dib smiled. It actually felt good to be out of that room. This break would be good for him. He’d get some food in his stomach and watch something he’d been waiting to see. Then he could get back to surveying the base later. Besides, with the camera recording, he wouldn’t miss a thing, if anything even happened. After all, he got nothing all day. What could he miss in a few hours?

[-]

Gir laughed every time the cat on TV let out that loud yelp. He liked the yelling. It reminded him of someone. And it was funny.

As he laughed, another robot walked into the room. Gir looked over. A new friend? Maybe. Did master build it? Nah, he would have said something. Wait, he remembered this thing. This was Tak’s robot. What was it doing here? Oh yeah, they friends now. She gave him a present. They must be over to play.

“Want some nachos?” Gir asked.

Tak’s robot lifted its head and looked curiously at the nachos. What was wrong? Maybe it didn't know what nachos were for.

“You do it like this,” he said stuffing a handful in his mouth.

Tak’s robot just stood there. It still didn't get it. “Here, let me help.” Gir got off the couch, walked over to the other robot, and smushed a handful of nachos in its face.

Tak’s robot wiped the nachos away and shook off the remaining cheese. It’s eyes narrowed and glowed red. Oh it looked mad. Maybe it would start yelling at him. But it didn’t.

Oh wait! He got it now! “Hey, you don't gots no mouth,” Gir said, leaning real close to get a good look at the robot’s face. “That's not right. You need a mouth for nachos.”

This was a problem. If it was going to be his friend, it needed a mouth for snacks. “Oh, I know!” Gir screamed. He ran for the trash can/elevator. He'd seen master go down this way earlier. Master could build a mouth. “This way! This way!” He dove head first down the elevator shaft and Tak’s robot followed him.

[-]

“No, it's not!”

“Yes, it is!”

“No, it's not!”

“Yes, it is!”

“No, it's not!”

“Yes, it is!”

“No, it's not! It's not!” Tak shouted. The can in her hand spilled gignzor on the ground as she gestured wildly. “You cannot tell me! You cannot tell me Foodcourtia is worse than Dirt!”

“It is! It definitely is!” Zim yelled back, punctuating each sentence by slapping the computer control panel.

“It's definitely not!” She slapped the control panel as well. “Dirt is a garbage planet made out of garbage! Everywhere you go, it's garbage! Everywhere you look, it's garbage! You close your eyes and, still, all you can see is garbage!”

“But there's no customers! Zim countered, flinging his empty can across the room. “No one screaming at you all day! No one yelling because their order is late, or cold, or they got the wrong thing! No one saying they want blogrings on the side, but they won't tell you on the side of what. But when you guess, they start yelling! And you're trying every side you can think of, but nothing works! And sometimes they still haunt your thoughts late at night!” He grabbed Tak’s shoulders and shook her. “What side did he want, Tak? What side did he want?!” He kept shaking until she slapped him away.

The sound of a “Whee-hoo” came from the ceiling. It got progressively louder until Gir splat-landed face-first on the floor. Tak’s Sir unit slinked gracefully down and landed beside him.

Gir sprang to his feet. “My friend needs a nacho hole,” he said pointing at the other robot.

“MiMi,” Tak commanded, “Get away from that pile of junk.” The SIR unit nodded and slink to her side.

“Hey!” Zim pointed an accusing finger at her. “You don't get to call my Gir junk!”

“Yeah!” Gir screamed.

Tak smirked. “I built Mimi myself out of spare parts and she’s still more advanced than the standard SIR units issued to the invaders.”

“Well I got a mouth!” Gir shot back.

“Yeah!” Zim shouted. “Hey wait, does your SIR unit talk?”

“No,” Tak sighed. “I couldn't find a functioning vocal chip on Dirt.”

Suddenly, Zim’s computer made an alert sound. “Sir,” computer said, “there is an incoming transmission from the Massive.”

Zim's hands flew to his head. “Oh no, the Tallest can't see me drunk.”

“The Tallest can't see me at all,” Tak added.

“Well, get out of frame, then.”

Tak scooped up Mimi and they ducked under the control panel. Zim tried shaking a bit of his drunkenness off. It didn’t seem to do much, but he answered the call anyway. An Irken in a navigator’s uniform appeared on the screen.

“Um, Invader Zim?” the navigator said, putting a strange emphasis on Zim’s title.

“Yeah,” Heh, he said ‘invader’ funny… Wait a second. “Hey, you're not The Tallest. What is this?”

“The Tallest are very busy at the moment,” the navigator replied. “A traitor has been identified.”

“Traitor? Pfft…” Zim waved his hand. “I don't know anything about a traitor, definitely not one with any conspiracies.” I am nailing this nonchalant performance.

“Uh, you wouldn't.” The navigator said, raising an eyelid. “A notice went out to all Irkens on planet or in the Armada. I've been tasked with informing all those out-of-range to be on the lookout for her.” He paused. “What was that about a conspiracy?”

“Nothing. I said I didn't know anything about a conspiracy, remember?” Totally nailing it.

“Yeah, but why would you bring it up in the first place?”

Shoot. He was asking too many questions. Better get rid of him. “Yes, yes. Anyway, I got your message,” Zim dismissed, reaching to cut off the transmission. “I'll be sure to look out for Tak. Now you can move on to-”

“Wait, I never said the traitor's name.”

His hand froze. Fuck “Uh, yes you did.”

“No, I didn't.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No. I didn't.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No, I didn't!” The navigator shouted impatiently. “And I can playback this conversation to prove it.”

Zim started to sweat as he contemplated his next move. Before he could say anything, however, Gir dove under the control panel.

“Found you!” Gir squealed.

“What was that?” The navigator asked.

“My SIR unit,” Zim answered. “He lost his… uh… contact lenses!”

“SIR units don't wear contact lenses.”

“Your turn to hide.” Gir said. Zim could hear a scuffle going on.

“No, stop.” Tak whisper-shouted. “Stop pushing me, you metallic hunk of-” Tak flew out from under the control panel and landed on the floor with an “omf.”

No, no, no, no, no! Zim slapped a big fake grin on his face. “As I was saying, I'll be on the lookout for that traitor and I’ll get back to you if I see her. Bye!” Zim cut the transmission and the screen went black. He let out a long breath. “I don't think they suspect a thing.”

Tak got up and brushed herself off. She glared daggers at him and snarled, a retort forming on her lips. Before she could speak, the entire base shook violently, knocking them off their feet.

“What's happening?” Zim struggled to stand up, but another shake sent him back to the floor. The base continued to rumble and, with each new quake, the room shrank in size, along with the tech in it.

“You idiot!” Tak shouted, managing to pull herself up. “It's cubification!”

Zim blinked. “Uhh…”

She scowled and rolled her eyes.” When The Tallest believe an invasion has been compromised beyond salvation, the remotely cubify the base, destroying all evidence and crushing any organic matter left inside.”

“I knew that.” Zim jumped to his feet. “Why are you explaining things I already know?”

“You moron, were going to be squashed!” Tak screamed, grabbing the front of his tunic. “And I refuse to let my cells mix with yours!” She threw him down and called, “Mimi!”

Tak’s loyal SIR unit slid up to her side. Mimi saluted, wrapped her arms around Tak, and flew them both up the elevator shaft.

“Gir!” Zim commanded. “Get us out of here!”

Gir bounced up. His eyes flashed red as he gave a salute. He then ignited the propulsion jets in his feet, flung Zim onto his back, and rocketed them up the elevator shaft.

As they flew to the house level, the walls around them closed in at a steadily rapid rate. It became a tight squeeze toward the top. Zim’s waist became stuck in the trash can lid for a moment before he managed to wiggle out.

By the time he made it to the living room, the ceiling was only a few feet overhead. Tak pulled at the doorknob with all her weight, but it wouldn't budge. She let out a cry of frustration and her laser cutters unfurled from her PAK. The lasers on all four tips joined into one large square of energy which blasted a hole in the wall. However, that hole shrunk just as quickly as the rest of the house.

Tak dove through and MiMi followed. Zim looked around for his service unit who was busy giggling and bouncing off of the encroaching walls. “Gir, quickly!” he commanded, pointing to the hole. Gir launched himself through, squealing. Zim followed after, feeling the ceiling brush the tip of his antenna on his way out.

He landed on his hands and knees on the lawn. Once he gathered himself, he turned to watch as his beautiful base crushed itself into a cube about the size of an Urth child’s alphabet block.

Zim’s mouth hung open. “Six years on this miserable ball of filth,” he murmured, scooting up to the teal cube on his knees. “Now look at you.” He flopped face-first on the yard and made pitiful noises. Gir sat down next to him and patted him on the back.

“Get over it, Zim,” Tak grumbled, activating her human disguise. “At least you still have a ship. Mine’s crushed in there with everything else.”

“Everything?” Zim snapped up. “Wait, where’s Minimoose?”

“NYAH,” Minimoose squeaked as he floated into Zim’s line of vision.”

Zim jumped up and threw his arms around his creation. “Yeah! Minimoose! I knew I shouldn't have to worry about you.”

“Quit hugging the moose, Zim,” Tak snapped. “In case you haven't noticed, we have a real problem here. We're stuck on this dirtball with no shelter, no resources, nowhere to go, and we're out of gingzor.”

“Yeah, well, whose fault is that?” Zim retorted, stomping up to his ship. He reached in, pulled out a spare dog suit, and flung it out Gir. He then began applying his human disguise and he continued. “My base would be fine right now if they didn't catch you hiding out in there.”

“Well they wouldn't have caught me if you could control your sorry excuse for a SIR unit,” Tak shot back.

“Hey!” Zim jumped down from his ship. “Gir is a specialized unit! Operating him takes a deft hand. Simply shouting out commands won't do.”

“why? because then he'd work properly?” Tak smirked.

Zim let out an exaggerated gasp. “How dare?! I just lied my butt off for you and you repay me by insulting my Gir?”

“Oh yes,” she scoffed, “thank you so much for blurting out my name before they even told you who the traitor was. You are a true master of deception.”

Zim put on a smug, mocking grin. “You're welcome.”

Tak growled and kicked nearby rock into the street. After letting out an huff, she turned back to him. “Well, you've been on this planet longer than any other advanced species. Where is a good place to lay low?”

Zim thought about this as he picked up the teal cube and turned it around in his hands. His base wasn't completely destroyed. Everything shrunk as it was being cubified. Perhaps it was all still in there. If he could reverse the effect… “It'll have to be a place with access to a lab. With the proper tools, I could possibly find a way to get my base up and running again.”

“Oh! I know! I know!” Gir squealed, jumping on Zim’s back.

“No, Gir. We're not doing that.”

“But… but…”

“No, Gir,” Zim said again, crossing his arms. “I won't allow my pride to sink that low.”

“But we've done it before,” Gir pointed out.

“Hmm? What's he talking about?” Tak asked sternly.

“Doesn't matter.” Zim answered, waving a dismissive hand at her. “It's not an option.”

“Yes it is,” Gir argued.

“Zim…” Tak growled, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him up to her eye level. “Where is it?”

[-]

Gaz flipped open the pizza box and steam rose off the hot, fresh cheese. Dib reached into the takeout bag. The garlic bread was still hot, too. He bit into a slice, enjoying the warm, steamy goodness and hoping the documentary wouldn't bring up any cow disembowelment's while he was eating.

This was shaping up to be a pretty good evening. Good documentary, good food, and he and his sister were just chilling together. There were no fights, no aliens (except the ones in the documentary, of course), no plans for world domination, no nothing. Just pizza, sibling bonding, and the dulcet tones of the narrator explaining bizarre happenings in Utah.

Gaz was right. He needed to take breaks more often. In fact, he was pretty content to spend the rest of the night relaxing. He could do without dealing with Irken nonsense for one night.

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queensdivas · 5 years ago

Text

Wildest Notes Chapter 1

okay so tumblr decided to have a stroke obviously and decided to delete the entire first chapter because. I decided to add the word Chapter 1..so I’m tagging y’all again mostly for my sake. So sorry.

For those of you who have no idea what this is. YOU’RE SO WELCOME AND I THINK YOU’RE GOING TO ENJOY WHAT I’VE GOT COOKING IN MY LITTLE BRAIN FOR OUR MAILMAN GARDNER!

If ya liked to be tagged please let me know.

And I’ll see you guys in whatever I post later!

HERE WE GO!

Chapter 2

Masterlist

And that’ll do! After an entire night of moving and unpacking. I’ve finally made it into my new home! It’s a tiny little hole in this town but I couldn’t be more happy with it. Right outside of the city and quiet enough you don’t hear the traffic. Absolutely perfect!

I walked into the living room where Angus was sound asleep with the sunshine beaming on him. Kind of forgot that he enjoys the sunlight when he’s taking his naps and all the drool that comes from English Mastiff. Hopefully I can put something together for my giant in the backyard so he can lay out for as long as he wants.

Speaking of outside, that's all that's left to do in the house and it’ll be complete. I’ve already got my seeds ordered for the flowers and veggies for the backyard. I have to figure out what I want to do for the front yard. Maybe I can have a line of sunflowers against the fence? Ivy wrapping around the fence? That’ll take months but atleast the weather here is very nice. I’ll have to think of something in order for a much nicer garden for my obsession. Maybe some ferns and some lava rocks? Nah we’re not in the right territory for lava rocks. I already know the backyard is going to have the largest sunflowers I can get my hands on.

I should take a walk around the neighborhood and get some fresh air. And I imagine Angus would just love a walk, even if he’s tapped down on the floor in the middle of the road! But look at him relaxing on the fluffy rug!

“Someone wants to go on a walk doesn’t he?” I asked him as he sat down in front of me waiting for me to clip the leash. Found Mr. Angus under the bridge when I walked from the orphanage to school. He was only a puppy when I first saw him and from that day on I was giving him food from breakfast and left over from lunch. Then he started following me back to the home every night.

Angus and I walked out the front door as I patted the front part of my overalls for where I put my keys. He barked out towards the street as I turned around to see the mailman coming through the gate but stayed back due to the dog.

“He doesn’t bite.” I smiled as I led Angus towards the mailman as he stood there so tall and firm. I don’t even think a gust of wind would blow him over, even hurricane wind wouldn’t knock him down.

Angus began circling the mailman sniffing up and down his legs, down to the tip of his toes. I chuckled as he stuck his nose in the mail bag and sniffed all the letters and tiny packages. The man bounced away from Angus as he dug through the mail to hand me my two envelopes.

“I’m Cora.” I told him as he took a deep breath in.

“Gardner. Now if you’ll excuse me Miss Lister. I have to get back to work and take my lunch.” A 180 turn away from me as he walked out of the fenced front yard back onto the sidewalk. Wait what’s this slip?

“Umm excuse me Gardner.” He stopped as he faced the fence. I walked over towards him with the only thing blocking us was the picket fence. I then showed him the slip as he looked at the slip then back at me.

“It’s a package. That’s a slip.” Obviously but what did I order? Wait did I order anything or is someone mailing back from what I left at the old house? There’s a lot of things this could be. He was about to walk away as I was trying to finish this conversation without him running off.

“Can I assume that you’re bringing it by tomorrow?” He stopped dead in his tracks and turned towards me.

“Section 4.7 of the resident manual stipulates packages of that size cannot be left without the recipient's signature.” Didn’t realize it was such a big package goodness. What on earth could I have left at the house!?

“I’ll be in the back working on some hoeing so just leave it on the corner of the porch. C’mon Angus!” I opened the gate, waving bye to Gardner.

“Thanks Gardner!” I yelled as we began our walk.

Angus and I watched him walk down the street stopping into each of the house's mailboxes. Probably should go the opposite way so it doesn’t look like I’m stalking him.

“C’mon Angus.” I told him as I walked out of the gate down towards the opposite way Gardner was going. Glad to know the first I met was a very tight end mailman. I mean he was a little cute but I should get going.

Angus was absolutely loving all the new smells and environment while walking around the corner onto the new sidewalk. I was humming a quiet song to myself as I heard a very loud whistle coming from the house I was passing. A foam rocket landed right in front of Angus and I for him to start sniffing it. An old woman came stumbling out of the house with a flask in her hand.

“Ah damn it. Too much gas.” She yelled as I picked up her foam rocket as she walked towards me.

“You moved into the house with the yellow door, yes?” You mean my absolutely favorite door in the world? That pretty yellow color that I love? Yes.

“Yes mam.”

“No one tells me yes mam, makes me feel old. Trudy.” She made it infront of me as I handed her the foam rocket. I glanced over to her blue and purple house to see her flowers on the ground were dying.

“Cora. Nice to meet you.” I told her as she looked down to Angus.

“And who is this?” She reached down as Angus began sniffing her fingers and arm.

“Angus.”

“We’ll he’s a heartbreaker. Glad you moved into the house, that old woman who used to own that place was crazy. She once walked out of the house naked like a jaybird.” She took a drink as I nodded along. Glad to know one of my new friends in the neighborhood is an old lady wearing a super long floral kimono.

“I’ll let you back on your walk. Hey if you need anything please stop by whenever ya feel like. I could use a young drinking buddy myself. I make a mean long island iced tea.” Don’t really like alcohol on most days. Maybe a glass of wine at dinner or a beer when I’m grilling.

“I’ll get back to you on that Trudy. Lovely to meet you.” I began walking away as she kept looking at me till she went back inside. So I got mad science living a street or two away and a mailman who's tighter than a screw.

I continued along the sidewalk as Angus was walking a little faster since he was trying to see the entire neighborhood. I stumbled upon a patch of trees as Angus was just dying to start running around in there. Eh might as well. Don’t need to go back home for a few more hours and it’ll take me about an hour to get ready for work. I bent down to unlatch the leash from his collar as he went sprinting off. Don’t worry he’ll come back because he's going to have a nice chicken dinner before work. I began walking on the trail as I kept an eye on Angus as he was climbing on top of some fallen trees.

It’s weird to think a few months ago I was job hunting and trying to find a place to live and now my life is slowly coming together. I need to write to my orphanage mother and let her know that I finally made it in the world. We were worried when I turned sixteen that no one was going to adopt me and by eighteen they kind of just threw you out onto the street. But now look at me! In a jazz band at night and selling my own produce at markets. Just exactly what I wanted in my life.

We reached the opening onto a large tall field that was circled by the entire patch of forest. There was no trail that led into the field but one wrapping around it. A few park benches were placed along the trail as I began going down the path on the left. Angus ran running into the field as he began hopping around in the tall grass.

He barked each time he jumped out of the field till something caught his attention as he began smelling the air. He began trotting around the field as he began picking up the pace till we came across someone on the bench eating. Oh no he must have peanut butter! It’s Angus’ weakness!

By the time I was about to tell him no he was already sitting in front of him with his tail moving across the grass. Crap crap crap! I ran up to notice it was Gardner just trying to enjoy his lunch in peace I’m assuming. But I stopped as Gardner ripped off a piece of his crust then handed it to Angus. He laid down in front of him and quickly ate it.

“I’m so sorry about that.” I told him as I stood in front of him and attached the leash to Angus.

“It’s fine.” Another short answer as he took a bite out of his sandwich.

“Mind if I sit with you for a minute?” I asked him as he looked over his bag to then move it onto the ground next to him. I sat down on the other edge of the bench as I was watching Angus running back into the field.

“I promise I’m not stalking you or anything.” I blurted out as he kept his focus on the field. It was an awkward silence for a few seconds as I tried to think of something to say in order to remove this awkwardness.

“Why this little town?” He asked as I looked over and looked over at me.

“I miss the little town feeling. I grew up in Eureka California and I kind of missed that town kind of feeling. Plus my job is here now and wouldn’t trade it for anything.” I nodded as Angus sat in front of me as I scratched his head.

“What do you do?” Feels like I’m in an interview as he’s silently judging me.

“During the day when I’m not sleeping I’m growing vegetables and herbs for any local markets. And at night I’m a jazz pianist.” He nodded as he looked over at him. I know it’s not a lot of money in my life but it makes me extremely happy.

“You don’t like to talk do you?” I blurted out as he turned his head towards me.

“No I do.” He defended as I nodded. So he likes to talk, but just doesn’t want to talk to strangers. Understandable. I’m a complete stranger who accidentally found him at the park during his lunch.

“So are those hats comfy?” I asked him as he looked up at his white hat.

“They’re good for the summer. Keeps the air flowing through my head and the sun from burning my neck.” I looked at it then chuckled at myself.

“How’s the mail business going then?”

“Fresh air, predictable, solid retirement fund.”

“Already sounds like a better life than what I’m doing.” I could sense he wanted to be left alone. I imagine this is very weird for some stranger to be sitting here with him. I should get going anyhow.

“Sorry I’ll leave you alone. Listen if you ever get out or just bored at home. Come to Club Eclipse on 2nd. Thanks for letting me sit with you Gardner.” I grabbed Angus leash as I began to speed walking down the trail as my body became a little cold. How stupid was that? Honestly that was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done in my entire life.

“Thank you Miss Lister.” He blurted as I stopped dead in my tracks then turned around towards him.

“Cora please. And for what?”

“This was….different.” He grabbed his bag and marched away.

What a..what an interesting man. I hope to see him tomorrow while he delivers my package. Which I’m still trying to remember what exactly it was I ordered. He’s..kind of cute with his quirkiness.

taglist

@bonafiderocketqueen @filmslutt @leah-halliwell92 @johndeaconshands @amethyst-serenade @soy-guey @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @queen-turtle-boiii @mercury-wife @deck-heart @themficsilike @deakydeacs

#gardner langway #Gardner #gardner x reader #Gardner Langway x reader #Gardner Langway Fic #Dear Sidewalk #Dear Sidewalk x reader #dear sidewalk fan fic #joe mazzello #joe mazzello fic #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello x reader

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thepausedsforzando · 4 years ago

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III. The Paused Sforzando

Part I. The End To The Remaining Effort

*******Introduction*******

It’s been 5 years. 5 years and a month just about. This post looks weird in public because it’s first one. It’s also marked as III. On October 8th, 2019 I nuked my entire Tumblr. Actually, I nuked all 3: hunkee, digitalclothingofhunkee and thepsychologyofdarthvader. That was a heavy day. This series has been shotty and inconsistent, in that gaps have become bigger and the details have lessened. This could likely be due to the feedback and problems I’ve had with people in my posts when I would talk about personal things that were not only private for me but for them. Primarily, these inconsistencies and gaps are because I’ve slowly descended into more of a void of a human being than I ever thought I could be when my life was right. January 6th, 2016. That’s where we last left off. “We” now means, and has always meant, current Matthew, as well as the one who will be reading this. If any Where are we now? Corny, I know, but you wanted to type it.

I have always dreamed of having a Tumblr where I had literally 0 holdbacks. If it was disturbing or could easily be misunderstood, I’d post it anyway. But coming from a Christian background where the Christian homeschool choirs I was in had its dark pockets of judgement, it, or more than just it, made me severely self-conscious. But that is tied deeper to why I care about what others think, and how their attention makes or breaks me as a human being. But I’m getting head of myself. On purpose.

hunkee, and it’s other 2 sisters were that of restriction. No more. So many have lost touched, forgotten and abandoned me, so who fucking cares now. I may still care. I’m showing it right now, but I’ll contradict that.

One thing I will hold back on is the private information of loved ones who never got a voice to choose whether or not to have their private lives posted here. I am transparent and honest to an extreme, and it’s gotten me in trouble more than I ever thought or wanted to. Therefore, what you will be seeing is the second draft, edited to filter out private events out of love and/or respect to those who didn’t get a voice. They will be edited with summaries and I may even redact names or change said names. Those people deserve it. And I should have known back then. But you can’t know everything. I could have learned faster, but respect is being shown nonetheless.

Alot has happened from January 6th, 2016 to February 5th, 2021. What I choose to be here will be here, and other installments will follow. Where we last left off was- well before I say it, let me show you the progression:

- 2009: The end of my childhood and innocence - 2010: a solid year of happiness in the first chapter of adulthood - 2011: not bad - 2012: The beginning of the dark renaissance; the start of it all - 2013: The Darkness: The darkest point, the breakdown, the intervention and the beginning of me stopping any care and any effort. Laziness became my life. - 2014: The Void: Through trying with little effort, the numbness grew - 2015: I literally forgot most of 2015. The Void at its highest - 2016: The End: The year that I gave up, after 5 years of trying through abandonment. - 2017: Committing to my abandonment. - 2018: Rebirth: The slow growth of the tiniest voice within me. - 2019: Pause #1: Amber - 2020: ugh: - 2021: ugh:

Let’s just begin.

**************

As per usual, let’s recap from the 16th. My name is Matthew. I’m 24 and a half years old. I work at Patsco Windshield Repair and had for about a month. I have been living back at my parents now for 2 years and about 4 months. I’d been single for 1 year and 2 months. I still had my Roth IRA and likely got rid of my savings account due to poor management of my money. I had suppressed my love for Amber again, and it wouldn’t be the last time. I was emotionally void after raging and depressing for years. My life had no meaning, nor did I really have many friends or any social interactions. I had a car. I can’t remember what bills I dealt with, but it was likely phone, insurance, health insurance and idk.

Life at Patsco was pretty lame. I would drive to the corner of a parking lot on a busy road, hold up a sign for a while and repair people’s windshields. Calling insurance companies and cleaning headlights. Great for a high schooler; pathetic that I was there in life at 24. The pay was $12/hr. I forgot if the hours were good. But the best thing that happened then was I read Dante Alighieri’s Inferno. I fell in love with that book. Standing on the grass next to cars at the red light of whatever intersection I was assigned that day. Immersed in the world and loving the darkness. I found beauty in dark things and gravitated towards hateful content. Who would have figured.

Patsco didn’t last very long. Maybe I got fired, I think I did. My memory has deteriorated so much over the past x amount of years. As has my attention span. And effort. Anyway, it usually takes me 1-3 months to find work, and on April whenever, I became a delivery driver for Jimmy John’s. Yet again, a low end, dead end job. I lasted just about 2 years. I asked Asia to let me stay long enough to make it an even two years, but she couldn’t stand me and it didn’t go that long.

Amber had either come back or was always there. For private reasons, someone in her life had jealously forbade me to come over and witness the birth of her first child. That didn't fucking happen with her second. I was there. More on that later.

Remembering 2015, 2016 and 2017 is hard. I'm having to pull up my resume, previous entries of this series and go back to where I was then. By the time Jimmy John’s rolled around, I’d been back home for over 2 and a half years. Being numb and unmotivated, I was also an asshole to live with. I treated my mother horribly. There is much to get into about what I have learned about her over the years and why we clash, but I always handled it wrong and I still do. Too lazy to confront her. She saw me at my worst. Whatever I could do out loud, she mostly saw and had to be the victim of it. She didn’t deserve it.

What I write about tends to focus on home, mom and dad, work, cars and not much else. I’ve neglected to mention Eva but once. I feel bad that in a forgetful and numb phase, I forgot when I met Eva. I met her on MeetMe, a social app for meeting people that too many guys used as a dating site. It was really, really pathetic. But I was open to meeting a significant other too I bet. There goes the hypocrisy. Take note. I just didn’t advertise it and let whatever unfolded, unfold. Before I mention Eva, what happened on MeetMe is notable. I just didn’t advertise it and I'd let whatever unfolded unfold. This is where I was at: I met someone who lived across the road from me named Evie. I put what I wanted onto her and god fucking dammit I was creepy. We were barely just talking and I was gushing over her. She was pretty and I wanted to be with someone.

My obsession with women had always been a tame problem that sprouted when it got to be intense. In 2011, when the neglect started, my creepiness, lack of social interactions and desire to have a girlfriend got weirder. Every girl that was remotely attractive, or not even that attractive was ‘so right for me’ and I’d pursue. Ashley, Andrea, Christa, Amy. I can’t even remember them all. It was every. fucking. woman. that came to Josh's and I's house. Someone I hadn’t been vibing with or talking to in the first place. That’s the key, you get to know someone and if they move that way WITH you, then it’s something. I always bash guys for pursuing if THEY want it, whether they’ve talked to them much or not. In my own way, I did that. I just didn’t assert myself as hard because in this context, it would have been awkward.

Evie casually told me where she worked. We were barely acquaintances and had never met or even had each others’ numbers. And when I saw she was getting off work one night, I bought her the candy she said she loved and walked over to her in front of the store at night, basically a total stranger, and gave her the Reese’s after clarifying who I was. She was extremely quiet. I bet she didn’t eat those candies because she thought the psycho who I guess you could say stalked her poisoned them and is going to kidnap her. Fuck me that was stupid. But that’s where I was at. My desire got stronger and more obsessive over these 4 years. This might have happened in 2015. Either way, I was doing things that were not Matthew. Using a woman for sex, stalking one, and Naomi....Poor Naomi.

We were talking as friends. She was beautiful. I wanted someone. She did NOT want to find a significant other. When she was reaching out for someone to talk to, it was a friend to confide in. And she made that clear. I lowkey pursued her romantically. We’d meet down the street of her house and park in a parking lot close by. We’d talk deeply, about her hard life. And I would be there for her. Once I told her my intentions, we stopped talking. She was upset, and had every right to be. When I was pursuing Amber 3 years prior, I was putting her newborn to sleep and said ‘can you say “daddy?”’...............................it’s hard for me to bring that up because as wrong as it was and I probably knew at the time, now I can’t....I can’t even explain the awkwardness and shame I feel for saying that. Like I devolved from already clingy/kinda obsessive/maybe on occasion creepy to.....that. To a newborn whose mother....I can’t remember if she liked me at that time. I think she did. ReGARDLESS.

The last time I wasn’t like this was Ana. in late 2011/early2012. I was never perfect as I’ve said like 3 times with regards to my intense emotions towards girlfriends. Hell, I wasn’t bad at all to Nicole. But this loneliness, that was a combination of my fault and other things that made me do things I regret. I had my first one night stand years ago. Attaining friends was through the screen of my phone. I couldn’t make friends. I lost my ability to be social. I became more socially awkward. Pursuing women wasn’t successful, and my desire had gone out of control.

Here I am, miles away from the original point: Eva. She was a female and I was looking for a relationship. Desiring love, affection and to get fucking laid. It came in the form of many creepy endeavors. I wasn’t as terrible with Eva. I liked her because I liked every female that came in contact with me. So it wasn’t even genuine when I told her. But we got past that. Wasn’t trying to get in her pants or anything heinous. But as that small phase passed, for the first time in years, I gained a friend. I made a new friend........it’s not that it’s hard, but was for me. I can’t think of the last time I made a new friend. But I hit the jackpot. No one is more loyal than Eva.

She was an actual friend. She listened to me. I listened to her. We cared for each other. She invited me to her house and to outings with her friends. She cared about me. Someone finally did. It was nothing to her. Like it should be nothing to anyone else: you have friends and you spend time with them. But it was the universe and all its stars to me. I made a big deal out of it for reasons you already know. She was the true friend I needed, but got so late. I felt included, I felt cared about and I felt wanted. I think she’d even text me first! That doesn’t exist anymore! She became a bright spot, but it didn’t change what was coming.

I got mad at Jimmy John’s. Aggressive driving, maybe dealing with the occasional dick ‘cause I was in an upper middle class (some would say rich) area of town. Having been void for so long, I felt I was at a dead end. I think I was friends with Eva by then. I had only been at Jimmy John’s for a month, not even. 2 days before Mother’s Day was when it finally happened.

Despite the angel that had come into my life, I was still lazy and numb, but I feel I was more angry at this point. Regardless, on May 6th, 2016, I officially gave up. From neglect to anger to depression to laziness, it had all culminated to this. It came in waves: neglect, anger, depression, suicidal ideation, hopelessness, self-attack, breakdown, intervention, self-abandonment, extreme sloth, numbness beyond the realm of textual representation, sick of my state, denying help, anger and then release. Release of it all. When I say ‘I gave up’, that seems so small in text, but defined ‘the rest of my life’. This had been culminating for 4 years and I finally just gave up. Career? never. Healthy diet? never. Friends? They already all left me so nothing’s gonna change ‘cause it hasn’t. Love? either I said I can’t ‘cause of my mental state or idk. Being happy? it hasn’t been possible.

I adopted a new phrase: Until death. It kept repeating in my head. I had a new set of goals and motivation in my life. My goal was to avoid being happy. It was to never seek love or really get anything serious, idk. My goal was never to get a better paying job, but get enough just to live on my own. Push everyone away, not get lied to by people’s flakiness. Be in a shitty apartment and watch my 30′s, 40′s, 50′s and maybe even 60′s alone. Eat junk food and clog my arteries as no one cares and everyone has forgotten me. What’s the use. I tried. I FUCKING TRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I couldn’t do it. After 4 years, I was alone, I had no social life, I couldn’t score a woman and I was too creepy to even get close to the first step, I had eaten junk food most of my life and it was affecting my mental and physical health, I couldn’t hold a job, I couldn’t advance because I couldn’t stay long enough, my mental health was blocking my success rate before I started telling people it was blocking my success rate, I was at odds with my parents, Missy was in Chicago, no matter what I did I just couldn’t progress. It wasn’t worth it. I just let it go. My life and my desire to be happy. And that was a commitment. Hard as it would be for my family to have to endure that, I didn’t do it for them. And they didn’t have to suffer. But they did.

Missy graduated the year we're talking about now. To preface that, the whole family had vacationed to New Orleans sometime.....2014? idk, but my mental state and circumstances had made me a recluse. My family was outgoing, talking with Uber drivers and the person kind enough to let us use their house instead of a hotel. They experienced New Orleans and were having fun. But not me. I was not fully there. I was withholding myself from participating. I was quiet. if you knew me when I was myself, I was the opposite of quiet and shy. But the darkness had just become me. I was barely participating, sitting away from people and not saying a word, focusing on rooting my phone and occasionally talking about it, not talking to humans outside of my family and not speaking with a sad, distant, vacant expression.

I learned something through my silence. Usually, if there were family problems, I’d be overly involved and not able to think straight ‘cause I’m thinking of all the perspectives and dividing my attention up multifold. I wasn’t like this in New Orleans. When I said nothing, I got to listen more; I got to see what I hadn’t seen all this time. Or at least what I didn’t bring into focus all my life. And that was more true sides of my family through their interactions. The fighting over nothing and people from different perspectives. The escalations and how my family just doesn’t understand each other. If anyone else is reading this but me, you can learn more than you can possibly imagine when you say little to nothing, sit back and let the conversation you normally are involved in happen in front of you. Don’t interact, just let it happen. Watch what you don’t pick up. Our compassion is valid; we can also get carried away and not notice what’s fully going on right in front of our faces.

Much changed from that much as I used to. Optimism is ideal in moderation, as is everything else. My father was so aperspective shift. I learned more about where we are as a family and I didn’t brush it under the rug as ngry that my standout silence and being a weird, burdensome stick in the mud of a family vacation was affecting everyone and our time together. Not to mention my sister moved out...........2013? I forget. She had been in Chicago so we don’t see her everyday. Things had changed. I had moved back, but for a small amount of time, mom and dad had the place to themselves. That part of your kids growing up and leaving. He confronted me angrily and I learned something else by what he said. You would think he would say something based on how I’ve prefaced this, but instead what uttered from is angry face was:

“Do you have any idea how much money I’ve spent?!”

Sometimes, maybe many times, the way you say something or the first thing you say reflects where your focus is at. I disagree this is always the case. But in that moment, I believe as a man whose life revolved around providing for his family for 20 years, became focused on that primarily. The man can love. The man loves him family incomprehensibly. Never doubt that. But I learned not only of his perspective but how men (traditionally and mostly) make their life’s purpose of providing....larger than love, communication and interaction. All of that is still there in my father at this point, but when it wasn’t, I learned why.

Back to the point, Missy was graduating. I had been at Jimmy John’s a bit and even though New Orleans was a while ago, I only got worse for vacations. And going to Chicago was..........terrible. My sister had always been a social butterfly and extravertive. Our personalities were now white and black. I didn’t know how to talk to people. I didn’t know how to socialize. I didn’t want to. I’d been burned so much that I forgot how to be a human being, and also tried not to be. The silence and seclusion as people were in my sister’s living room, talking, was bizarre. People would kindly ask me about me and raise small talk and I don’t remember how much I’d say if I said anything. I think I’d straight up ignore people. It was extremely awkward. I was introvertive, shy, quiet, ignoring and reserved like I was an extreme trauma victim or a mute (no offence meant to either an victim of a crippling trauma or mutes). My sister was in love and trying with this man that turned out to be an asshole. But at the time, my sister was showing me her life and a very important man in her life and I was just letting it pass me by. Was it as simple as just getting over it? Faking it and putting on a face? That, is the opposite of who I am, and I couldn’t just shake this off. I was alone for 4 years and upset about it. It changed me so much that you don’t just pull out of that. Who Matthew IS. PERIOD. at this point. IS. too far gone from who he really is and so deeply warped and shaped by his depression that who he IS is hopeless and functionless.

Her boyfriend got me a present. I practically said nothing. I watched my sister graduate. I don’t remember it. This is trauma. This has affected my caring, my memory and my attention span. I’m not myself or a functioning human. PSA: it is possible to get out of the habit of many things you don’t think you could get out of the habit of. Like social interaction, how to talk to people, react to things. It wasn’t the darkest point, but such a troublesome time. I was 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% darkness and 00.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% myself. There has always been a voice inside that never wanted this. That disagreed with the (verbal) self harm I’d convince myself. After a while, if you tell yourself the same thing, whether it’s good or destructive, you’ll believe it. You’ll trick you mind. Same thing with your environment. You become affected and accustomed to your environment to some extent. When you don’t realize it.

But this was never me. Me just got smaller. The darkness took over. The darkness was my Caretaker, which leads me to...

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holdyourbreathuntilyouseelight · 5 years ago

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The Bodyguard - Chapter 10

Summary: Magnus is a dancing popstar sensation whose popularity continues to climb. Alec, an ex-Secret Service agent, is hired on as a professional bodyguard in charge of Mr. Bane’s personal security by insistence of Magnus’ manager. Despite their initial differences, Magnus finds himself falling for Alec the more time they spend getting to know each other and relies on him for more than physical security as his safety gets threatened. Loosely based on the 1992 film The Bodyguard.

Rating: M

Genre: AU, Everyone is Human AU, Celebrity!Magnus, Bodyguard!Alec, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Romance, Eventual Smut, Mutual Pining

Author: holdyourbreathuntilyouseelight

A/N: As promised, the final chapter! Just a short epilogue left. Thank you to all who stuck through me the whole way through my snail-pace updates and for any new people who have indulged the story this far! You all are amazing!!

Click here to read on AO3.

Previous chapters on tumblr: Prologue // Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9

* * * * *

"Magnus! Magnus, over here!"

Magnus merely waved at the eager paparazzi, camera flashes making it seem like there was a strobe light going off. There were people lining the red carpet behind the barriers, photographers desperate for the perfect shot of one of the most popular music stars of the current era.

Alec was glued to Magnus' side, eyes never staying on one area for too long, and his hand never left Magnus' lower back as they wove around interviews and lined up guests.

These events were thankfully heavy on security, but if there was anything Alec had learned lately, it was that he could never be too careful when it came to Magnus' safety.

"Magnus Bane!" the TV host cried when they reached her, and Magnus pulled her into a hug. "Tell me, Magnus, how excited are you for tonight? You are up for three Grammys this evening! That's incredible!"

"Well, I'm not Taylor Swift or Adele, so I hope I at least take home one. But truly, just being here is as much a reward as any. Getting a chance to celebrate so much talent in one evening." Magnus said smoothly, not batting an eye at the camera man stepping in for a closeup.

Alec stayed to the side, itching to get Magnus back in his orbit, and he kept his eyes trained on the crowd and impending guests.

"Well, I know you don't need it, but good luck tonight. Have fun!" the host said, waving at the next celebrity before pressing a quick kiss to Magnus' cheek.

Magnus smiled in return before leading the way down the carpet, Alec immediately gravitating to his side again.

"I know you can't help yourself, but since you are technically my date by default, relationship status notwithstanding, can you at least try to look like you aren't trying to murder everyone with a simple look?" Magnus said to him in an undertone, eyes sparkling with mischief.

Alec rolled his eyes. "I can't relax until I know you're safe, so this is just my face."

"Alexander. I feel perfectly safe with you by my side. Now can you please try to make me look like a half-decent boyfriend?"

Alec chuckled, and Magnus reached up to stroke his cheek affectionately.

"There's that gorgeous smile. I would like more of that, please."

Alec couldn't keep his smile at bay after that, especially with Magnus looking up at him like he was one of the seven wonders of the world.

"You look amazing tonight. You sure you want to imply I'm your date when you'll no doubt have half the audience on their knees begging for a chance with you?"

"Mm I'd much rather have you on your knees."

Alec knew he walked into that one. He continued on, ignoring Magnus' smugness. "I wish I was sitting with you, but it makes more sense to have me near the stage, especially for when you present and when you win."

"If I win."

"When." Alec argued. "Look, I see what you do each day on stage. I see the fans reactions firsthand to your very presence. Your talent is limitless. You are going to win."

"I'm not the only talented person here, Alec. Hence why it is a nomination, not an outright award. And it's an honour—"

"Don't say 'to be nominated'."

"Well it is!" Magnus laughed.

Raphael came down the carpet, Luke in tow, and raised an eyebrow at the pair.

"Do you guys ever stop bickering?" he drawled.

Magnus shrugged.

Raphael looked around, trying to peer over heads but his height not helping. "Great turnout as always. Gotten starstruck yet?"

"Not yet. Don't ask that like you didn't nearly pass out when you saw Tan France at the last award show we attended together."

Alec turned to Luke, tuning out Raphael's protests. "Andrew is already inside. These events have their own high level of security given the prestige of the event, so we don't need a big team. You and I will be backstage and he'll be down in the auditorium but on the sidelines."

Luke nodded.

"Good luck, Magnus. I have a good feeling about your wins tonight—I think you'll be taking home more than one."

"You guys are going to jinx me." Magnus groaned. "But thank you, Lucian. Be safe."

"You too." Alec added pointedly to him before leading Luke away to check in for their backstage access.

Magnus linked an arm with Raphael, who simply rolled his eyes at the star, before the two marched into the auditorium to find their seats.

* * * * *

Once set free backstage, Alec felt his nerves spike again. There were quite a few people milling about—people responsible for lights, sound, directing the MCs and presenters, and every type of service worker needed to pull off an extraordinary event like this.

It made it difficult to keep an eye on everyone, as everyone seemed to be rushing past others and slipping in and out of dressing rooms or manning the tech behind the scenes.

When he tried to look out at the audience to locate Magnus, the bright lights pointed at the stage made it impossible.

"Damn it." he said under his breath. "Underhill, how are we looking?"

"Good. People are still piling in but Magnus seems to know the people behind him and in his row since he's chatting with them like they're old friends."

"Keep me posted if you see absolutely anything suspicious, okay?"

"You got it, boss."

Alec wanted to be comforted by Underhill's words, but he knew that Magnus was like that with everyone, and, frankly, it could go either way—Iris was a prime example of how someone close to him couldn't be trusted—and that meant everyone who was friendly with him was still a suspect.

It was going to be a long night.

* * * * *

The show moved on, with epic performances and awards passed out to tearful or giddy artists.

Alec had been given an itinerary of the awards being given out and saw that Magnus' categories were in the latter half of the event while his presenting was in the first half.

He soon would be pulled from the audience and taken backstage to be touched up and given a rundown of the script, even with the prompter in place. It allowed the presentation to flow more naturally if he had a chance to review it.

Knowing Magnus, he'd probably tweak it to suit his needs, but that was to be expected. Raphael had been right all those months ago when he said Magnus danced to the beat of his own drum.

Alec's phone buzzed against his leg and he slipped it out of his pocket to see a surprising number calling.

Jace (work)

He wanted to hit ignore and go back to people watching, but it may be about Iris or the evidence they processed.

"I have to take this." Alec told Luke. "Keep your eyes peeled."

He held the phone up to his ear. "Hello?"

Jace sounded stressed. "Alec. Sorry to call – I know you have the Grammys tonight. But there's been some new information about Magnus' situation and figured it was best you knew immediately."

"What's going on?"

"I'm going to let someone else explain."

The phone was apparently passed over since there was a shuffle before he could hear someone release a breath into the receiver.

"Alec?"

"…Iris?" Alec asked, unable to hide the surprise in his voice.

Luke glanced at him at the name but returned to scanning the room when Alec gestured at him.

"I know you're not my biggest fan right now but there's something I need to tell you."

"Okay… what is it?"

"I was too upset the other night to say anything. I just wanted Magnus to understand that I hadn't been doing what I was doing to hurt him – only scare him. Scare him into hiding or cancelling the tour but instead he accepted your hiring and then you two became inseparable in every way…"

"Iris. Make your point."

"They asked me here about the small bomb that was placed in his dressing room before you were hired, and I remembered you had asked me that too. But that wasn't me. I never wanted to hurt Magnus. I love him and want him to be with me."

Alec felt goosebumps rise along his arms. He normally wouldn't believe someone so unstable but she had a point. It seems counterproductive to murder the object of your affection when your endgame was to be with them. "Then who did?"

"That's just it. I don't know."

Alec inhaled through his nose, trying to rein in his temper. "So you're calling to tell me someone else means Magnus harm?"

"Well…"

"Iris."

She sighed. "I thought it was a dream, but now it makes sense. I forgot about the bomb. Nothing else physically harmful happened to Magnus so I swore it was just a vivid dream… but now… Look, before the tour started, I was desperate. I relapsed and got really high and drunk because, even though I had 'broken' into the house, left threatening letters and messages and photos, Magnus hadn't even seemed fazed. I didn't know then that Raphael had been hiding everything from him. And Raphael announced he was going to hire Magnus a personal bodyguard so the tour could go on without a hitch. So I was heavily intoxicated at this bar and bitching to some lovely voiced stranger and went on and on about how I wished someone would do what I threatened to do in those letters and then maybe Magnus would finally see sense… and the guy said he could do it. And I… I just handed over all the cash I had and told him to do whatever he had to."

"You hired a hit-man? An actual hit-man?" Alec said, feeling like the floor beneath him was shifting. How was this real? Could Iris even be trusted?

"I wanted to call it off as soon as I heard a bomb went off in his dressing room at one of the last concert venues before the tour took off. I couldn't believe it. I knew then it wasn't just some drunken fantasy and had actually happened. But I never got the man's name. I don't even know what he looked like. I have no way to track him down, Alec. I'm sorry."

Alec was glad he was in public or else he would've had to break something. "You're sorry? You hire someone to kill Magnus, you pay them to end his life, with the excuse of substance abuse, and you're sorry? You have no way of me tracking this person down, no idea when they might strike, and you want, what, my forgiveness?"

"No. I know I'll never deserve that. But I needed you to know so you can keep him safe. I don't know when he'll strike but if he's as good as he said he is, Magnus won't stand a chance."

"I'll make sure he does." Alec snarled into the phone, ending the call before he said something horrible to the very troubled woman on the other end of the line.

Luke made his way over, no doubt seeing the fire in his eyes from all the way across the room.

"Everything okay?"

Alec exhaled. "Far from it. We're not out of the woods yet."

* * * * *

Magnus was ushered backstage and he nearly tripped in his haste. He probably should've been looking at the floor more, what with all the cameras and wires around, but he was too eager to find Alec who he knew would be waiting for him.

Sure enough, once Magnus was nudged in the right direction, a strong arm pulled him aside and he found himself near-stumbling into his bodyguard.

"Well hello to you too." he teased, leaning up to kiss him now that they were behind a barrier. He hadn't been able to concentrate on the event like he had hoped, knowing that Alec was back there likely burning a hole in the floor with his pacing.

He was grateful that Alec took his job so seriously, but he also didn't like seeing the stress weigh down his boyfriend the way it did.

Instead of returning the kiss, Alec pulled back and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Magnus, we need to talk."

"Worst four words strung together in the English language." Magnus said, hoping for Alec to interject that it was nothing to worry about, but he got a good look at his eyes then and could see the pain there. "Alexander, what is it?"

Alec proceeded to explain the phone call he had received, who had been on the other end and what she had said, from the bomb to the anonymous hiring.

Magnus simply stood dumbfounded. "So we caught my stalker, the one sending all the threatening letters and photo collages… and that's not the same person as the one who nearly blew me up? There's still someone out there who is planning to kill me and we have absolutely no idea who they might be or how to track them down?"

Alec nodded, watching him carefully, rubbing a hand over his shoulder soothingly.

"I know it's a lot to take in. As unbelievably furious as I am, it is better we know so we can make sure you stay safe."

Magnus nodded numbly, swallowing and staring distantly at a spot on the wall.

Alec lowered himself slightly so he was at eye level with Magnus. "Listen. I am not going to let anything happen to you. I am good at what I do. We've gotten this far, right?"

"Magnus Bane? Has anyone seen Magnus Bane?!" a voice was shouting from the other side of the room.

"I need to go get touched up." Magnus said robotically, and he walked away like he was on autopilot to the makeup chair.

Alec watched him go, heart aching at the heaviness that had settled on his shoulders. Maybe he shouldn't have told him. Should've waited until after the awards show. But he wanted Magnus to be on the alert, to not think that because Iris was in custody, the risk to his safety was back to being minimal.

Touch-ups didn't take long and then Magnus was linking arms with his co-presenter, all smiles and laid-back energy.

Alec watched from the sidelines, directing Luke to the other side of the stage.

"There is so much talent showcased in this room tonight, and I'm not just talking about the make-up artists and fashion designers who manage to make us all look amazing." Magnus was saying with his usual flourish, the crowd tittering as expected. "Sometimes it is a single person that manages to light up the stage, and other times, it is a group of people who have come together to make something bigger."

"That's right." Magnus' presenting partner said, a beautiful brunette woman Alec couldn't name but had definitely seen before. "The following category features a wide range of talented and standout groups. The nominees for Best Pop Duo/Group are…"

She read them out to the crowd, applause following each group name.

"And the winner is…"

Before she could say it, Magnus suddenly froze before quietly rushing off the stage without a word.

The woman faltered slightly, eyes following him briefly before plastering on a smile and reading the card from the envelope.

The applause grew and then there was a group of young men taking turns thanking people on stage.

Alec moved to make his way to Magnus, slipping between bodies to get there as fast as he could.

"Why… why did you have to tell me all of this? Right before I go on? Now I see someone get up to go to the bathroom and I feel like I need to throw myself at the ground to avoid a bullet. I just humiliated myself in front of thousands of people all because you were too impatient to wait the extra hour when the show is over!" Magnus shouted at him.

Alec was slightly taken aback by the outburst, having been on the receiving end of Magnus' heated temper before but not usually to this extent.

He knew he had a point. Magnus wasn't anymore in danger now than he would be an hour from now – being oblivious to it would've been the kinder thing to do. After all, the hitman had been hired months before and had yet to strike – there was no guarantee he or she would strike tonight.

"Magnus, I'm sorry. It felt wrong keeping it from you. You're right—I should've respected how important tonight was and thought it through more. I'm just afraid."

"You're afraid?" Magnus asked incredulously, looking at him with such shock Alec nearly laughed.

"Yes, I am. I'm terrified of you getting hurt. Of this event being where he decides to strike. I… You have to know how much I care about you." Alec admitted quietly.

Magnus stepped into his space, looping his arms around his waist and smiling softly at him. "I care about you too. I'm sorry for snapping at you. I'm really just angry at myself. For ignoring the signs for so long with Iris. For angering her enough to get us to this point."

"Well, it hasn't been all bad." Alec reminded him, stroking a hand along Magnus' waist.

"You have been a good consolation prize." Magnus noted, and he laughed when Alec's face screwed up in annoyance. "I'm kidding, darling. You're very much the top prize."

"Mm a Grammy would be nice too though." Alec reminded him after giving him a quick peck on the lips. "Speaking of, you should return to Raphael before he sends out a search party or sends me extremely well punctuated texts that show he means business."

"Raphael is harmless. But I would like to see how the night's awards go."

Alec smiled. "Go. I promise I will do everything in my power to keep you safe."

"Fine. But I expect some very celebratory sex later if I win. And if I lose, sex to make me feel better."

Alec rolled his eyes but nodded. Magnus gave him another swift kiss on the cheek this time and headed off to return to his seat.

* * * * *

With Magnus' presenting out of the way, Alec felt a little calmer. With the itinerary laid out well in advance for what order the awards were presented, it made more sense for someone to attack when he was scheduled on stage versus waiting for him to potential win one of the three categories he was nominated for.

Still, Alec wasn't one to get lax with his professionalism. He still kept a close eye on every moving body and checked in with the two on his team to ensure they were doing the same.

He let his eyes rove over the crowd, catching sight of Magnus speaking quietly to Raphael as they applauded the current receiver of the award.

Alec knew Magnus was scared, maybe even more scared than Alec, but he hoped he had nothing to worry about. It had been months since the hit-man was hired – for all they knew, he had given up after his failed bomb attempt. It's not as though it was a contractually sound hiring. He had already been paid.

"You can't have that back here. It's interfering with the mic." a man with a headset of his own said, interrupting his thoughts, and Alec had to work to keep his face from scowling at him.

"I've been using it all night and it hasn't been an issue. It's my contact with my security team. My client is at risk in an event as open as this—"

Before he could finish, the guy interrupted. "I'm sure that's true but I've been given explicit orders. It's either give up your communication device or leave the event. Your choice."

Alec grumbled under his breath while he passed over the electronic device and nodded when Luke sent him a questioning look to silently ask if he should do the same.

Not having the wire in his ear made him feel exposed and on edge, but he had a job to do and would do so with or without the help of technology.

He shot a text to Underhill to let him know that they had been cut off and that they'd have to stay that much more alert to their surroundings.

Someone nudged past him, nearly causing him to trip over a collection of wires across the floor, and Alec remembered why being backstage was the worst location to have to hover.

A hand on his arm steadied him and he turned to the person to thank them, but it got lost on the way out of his mouth.

"Sebastian?"

The blond man smiled broadly at the sight of him. "Alec! I never expected to see you here. I didn't realize you were in the Hollywood scene."

Alec grimaced. "It's not really by choice; I work personal security. I go where he goes. What are you doing here?"

"Ah. I'm a photo journalist. This many celebrities in one place? It's like Christmas for us." he explained, gesturing to the large camera kit in his hand. "I should get to it, but lovely to see you, Alec."

"You too." Alec said automatically, eyes drawn to the duffel-like bag in his hand. It seemed to be quite a bulky piece of equipment. He knew many cameras could be large or have a lot of different lens and such, but the new technological age tended to provide much more compact options.

He didn't know why he felt that familiar unease climbing his spine. Maybe it was his suspicious nature but he suddenly was seeing something sly in the smile Sebastian flashed him before slipping away to go down to the sidelines of the auditorium.

Alec watched Underhill across the room from him and moved to say something into his mouthpiece, only to remember that it wasn't there.

He crossed the room to speak to Luke.

"I need you to keep close to that British man. Something about him… I don't know. I don't like it. And he's been somewhere Magnus and I have been before. I'm hoping it's just coincidental but I'm not taking any chances."

Luke nodded and left backstage to move closer.

"And the Grammy for Best Dance/Electronic Album is… Magnus Bane, for Shadow World!"

Alec couldn't help the proud beam that graced his face when the words sunk in. He couldn't wait to say 'I told you so' to Magnus.

Speaking of Magnus, he was absolutely glowing as the auditorium filled with cheers and applause and he hugged many people before jogging up to the stage.

Alec couldn't take his eyes off of him. He had never seen him so happy.

But then something caught his eye on Magnus' grey and white suit. A pinpoint red light dancing over his chest as he shook hands with both presenters and accepted the gramophone-shaped trophy.

Alec scanned the room desperately for where the light was originating from and his eyes landed on Sebastian.

It was him. He had his large camera hoisted up on his shoulder, but Alec could see now that it was simply a sniper rifle disguised in the shape of a bulky camera. It was how he would've gotten it in the door. Unless they took apart his camera, they'd never have known it to house a weapon.

Alec frantically looked for Luke and Andrew but they were simply clapping along with everyone else, eyes scanning the crowd but clearly missing the imminent threat.

Magnus raised the award above his head before he reached the podium, setting off another round of applause, and Alec watched in horror as the laser stayed still on his chest above his heart.

He'd never get to Sebastian in time. He was too far away. He'd be stupidly lucky if he could signal to either Luke or Andrew in all the excitement and communicate enough to have them apprehend Sebastian before he pulled the trigger.

Alec was running before he could think, his mind focused solely on blocking Magnus from the fatal blow, and he pulled his gun from his thigh holster as he raced onto the stage.

He heard the shot more than felt it, the subsequent quiet before terrified screams broke out made the whole experience that much more disorienting.

He had hit Magnus with the full force of his body, knocking him to the stage floor and causing the trophy to topple across the linoleum.

The pain hit him after the force of his fall jarred his alertness and he raised his gun with difficulty to point it at the assassin.

White-hot fire spread from his shoulder like a firework, and he knew there was a bullet lodged in his collarbone if his agony could be relied on.

The audience was racing for the exits, screams and cries exploding from every row as people scrambled in their gowns and best suits to leave the building.

Alec aimed at Sebastian and let his gun fire a couple shots, managing to hit Sebastian's hand and rifle to splinter it into pieces.

He went down and Alec was grateful to see Luke pushing through the crowd to get to the shooter, likely to tackle him into submission.

But Sebastian pulled out a handgun with his other hand from his suit pocket and aimed it towards Luke.

Alec didn't hold back from releasing a bullet that nestled between his eyebrows and knocked his lifeless body to the floor.

Knowing they were finally safe, Alec let his arm sag and he collapsed against the floor.

"Alec? Alec!" Magnus was suddenly beside him, having been knocked over and apart from him by a few feet.

"Magnus! Are you okay? You're bleeding! Where were you shot?!" Raphael was saying, having finally made his way up on the stage to crouch next to his long-time friend.

Magnus patted his hands against his chest, seeing the blotches of blood everywhere. His eyes widened as he saw the way Alec's eyelids were too heavy for him to keep open.

"It's not me! Alec? Alexander, please, look at me. What in the hell were you thinking? You threw yourself in front of a bullet for me?!"

Alec rolled onto his back with Magnus' help and Luke was next to them, Andrew in tow, and Luke bent down to put pressure on Alec's bleeding shoulder.

"Told you… I'd do anything… to keep you safe…"

Magnus had tears streaming down his face now as his hands flitted uselessly over him.

Alec felt himself growing weaker, knowing it was the blood loss, and it was hard to keep his eyes open let alone reassure Magnus he was fine. He knew he wasn't fine. He was starting to feel cold climbing up his extremities.

"Alec… Alec! Alexander, don't you fucking dare die on me, do you hear me?! Don't you dare!"

Alec chuckled weakly. "You know me, Magnus. Never been one to listen to you."

Magnus half-laughed, sobbing more than anything. "Please, Alec. Don't leave me like this. Stay with me."

Alec's eyelids grew too heavy and he let them win the battle, head lolling against the tiled floor.

"Alec, please. I love you! Do you hear me? I love you! Don't leave me! Stay with me!"

Alec wanted to promise him he'd never leave willingly, to return the sentiment, but the unconsciousness was pulling him under.

Before he could form the words, everything went black.

* * * * *

Continue to Epilogue

#malec #malec fic #shadowhunters #shadowhunters fic #magnus bane #alec lightwood #the bodyguard fic

6 notes · View notes

generalhofferson360 · 6 years ago

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Some Things Are Just Meant To Be.

I just read a tear-jerking post about what Httyd meant to someone, and I decided to write my own journey with this amazing series, one that has sadly come to a close.

Now, I’ll admit, I don’t have the most life-changing story. This franchise didn’t magically make my life perfect, but it did fill it with so much happiness.

I saw the first movie when I was in third grade, a few months after it came out. I immediately fell in love with it, insisting that my family watch it every single night for what must’ve been two weeks. That movie ignited my love for dragons, which was a very large part of my life when I was younger.

Then, as most kids do, I moved on. I forgot about the amazing movie about a boy and his dragon that started it all. I hadn’t thought about the movie in years.

Years past, and still not a thought about vikings and dragons. Until halloween in ninth grade. One of my best friends showed up to school in a Toothless costume, talking nonstop about his love for the dragon. Initially, I rolled my eyes.

The only memory I had of the movie were select scenes of Stoick in the Great Hall. I brushed it off as simply a children’s movie - something that I don’t normally do, because of my love for animated movies - and I’m forever grateful that opinion didn’t remain in my head for long.

I had seen some posters for the third movie floating around Pinterest, me not even having seen a trailer for the second, and once again another eye roll. I judged the movies without so much as seeing them.

Flash forward another month, and I’m at the theatre to see Ralph Breaks the Internet with my best friend on opening night. So, as you can imagine, the theatre was completely filled. The trailer for the Hidden World came on, and the theatre fell silent.

By the time it was over, I was sobbing. This trailer made me cry for characters whose names I no longer remembered. And that’s what drew me to this franchise.

I knew that, if the trailer affected me that much, I absolutely had to see the movies. So, I went home, and watched the first movie, and I remembered why I fell in love with it all those years ago. As soon as the dreamwork logo flashed across my screen, it inexplicably felt like home.

But my story’s not done yet. I then saw the second movie, spending over an hour mourning the loss of a great chief, and even longer celebrating the rise of a new one.

I was desperate for more content, and knew I couldn’t wait until February for the next, and final, chapter in this amazing viking’s journey. So, like many others, I turned to Tumblr. Coincidentally, the first time I searched the Httyd tag on this website, was on Snoggletog.

I had to know what the hype was, so I watched Gift of the Night Fury, four times in one day, to be exact.

I recalled seeing glimpses of the show ROB on tv, but never paid much attention to them. Since I knew Netflix had a show more readily available, I decided to start there.

Okay, unpopular opinion time, I hated most of season one of RTTE. It seemed to drive me away from the franchise, not recognizing the characters I had come to know and love.

Reluctant and desperate, however, I returned. I chose random episodes that caught my interest, most of them involving the twins. I found a renewed appreciation for the show, but the episode that really sold me was Buffalord Soldier. I remember beginning it around 2:30am, and I couldn’t stop watching. I finished the rest of that show, not daring to skip an episode within that very week. I was in love with the show, and proceeded to watch earlier episodes that I had previously skipped.

I read an article online, identifying each show and short film available, and knew I had to see them all. I used most all of my Christmas money to buy ROB and DOB on DVD, and loved most of the episodes almost as much as RTTE, along with the shorts on Netflix.

Finally, the third movie premiered, my anticipation growing with each day it drew closer. I went to the theatre alone, my first time doing so, since none of my friends seemed excited to see it. I remember standing in line, my hands shaking as I held my ticket stub. I walked into the dark room, actually I was early, being terrified of missing a single moment.

It first hit me that this was really happening when I sat down, my heart practically beating out of my chest. To say I loved this movie would be an understatement. I sobbed throughout the entire thing, and left it knowing that Hiccup and Toothless would forever have a place in my heart.

I also left it knowing that I loved Tuff’s earrings, but that’s not the point.

This movie affected me so dramatically that I couldn’t bring myself to watch RTTE for over a week, not bearing to see the gang and their dragons together. Come to think of it, I didn’t eat or leave my house for over 24 hours after the movie. Dang, I’m eccentric.

I then proceeded to drag my friends to this cinematic masterpiece, three times. Y’know, along with buying every single piece of merch and book available.

Hiccup has taught me so much kindness and love, and that is how this movie changed my life.

#httyd #httyd 2 #httyd 3

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lazulifoster · 6 years ago

Text

Get Up (Loki x reader) Part 3

Pairing: Loki x Reader x Thor

Warnings: Angst(?) Death, childbirth

Word Count: 2.7k+

A/N: Sorry for the delayed post, not gonna lie I stress myself out over my writing sometimes and think whatever I write is crap, but sometimes I just gotta post it no matter what my anxiety tells me :) Anyway, this whole chapter is a background, so everything makes sense from chapter 2. If there are any typos, from the bottom of my heart, my bad :)

Also, still new to Tumblr so if I forgot to tag you or something I’m so sorry, I just learned about how to link stuff :/

Previous Chapters:

Part 1 Part 2

20+ Years Ago…

It was early dawn in Asgard. The sun had just begun to peek behind the mountains, causing the color of the sky to turn from deep indigo to blush pink. Other than a few guards making their rounds, most occupants of the Allfather’s palace lay asleep, perfectly silent; all except one. A Valkyrie hastily ran through the halls and corridors of the castle as quietly as possible. She periodically sprinted behind the palace’s many pillars and peeked cautiously around them, making sure she was not noticed by any of Odin’s guards. She finally arrived inside the palace library, the meeting place she agreed to meet Thor, her future King, and most trusted ally. She carefully peeked around the library, Thor was late. She began to pace, panic-stricken Thor had forgotten their meeting altogether.

Thor lackadaisically made his way toward the palace library. He found it extremely odd for Sigrún to ask him to meet secretly before sunrise inside the library, but nevertheless, he obliged her, not thinking much more of the request. When he finally arrived and saw the Valkyrie’s face he was shocked by her distraught demeanor.

“Lady Sigrún, what is the matter? Why do you look so troubled?”

“Your majesty, this is urgent, and there is no one else I trust."

Thor was taken aback, Sigrún was a mighty warrior who fought diligently for Odin’s army. She had no fear for any of Asgard’s foes and found valiantly whenever called upon. She had seen Hel and laughed at its gates. But now, Sigrún was acting like someone Thor did not recognize. Sigrún was utterly terrified, her fear was almost tangible inside the library. Thor reached out and gently grabbed her hand.

“My Lady, please tell me what is troubling you, you’re beginning to frighten me.”

Thor led Sigúrn a couple of feet to one of the many ornate benches and motioned for her to sit. Sigrun placed her head between her hands as she attempted to hold back sobs. Thor put his hand on Sigrún’s back, trying his best to comfort her until she finally spoke.

“I am with child.”

Thor was confused. “But—well, that’s wonderful news, Sigrún! Why are you so worried? Children are a blessing—”

“Your grace, I am carrying a human child, a Midgardian!”

Thor’s eyes widened. Odin had made it very clear that none of the Valkyrie were to ever leave Asgard, let alone lay with a Midgardian. He demanded all of their loyalty to Asgard. Odin had only recently permitted the Valkyrie to bare children with an Asgardian, but just because Frigga had requested that right for the Valkyries. And Odin, to not upset his Queen further, begrudgingly obliged. But what Sigrún had done, in Odin’s eyes, was treason, punishable by an eternity in a prison cell or death.

“Oh, Sigrún…”

“Please your majesty! I can’t—Help me! I do not know what to do!” She began to weep, uncontrollably

Seeing the mighty Valkyrie reduced to a grieving mess made Thor anxious. Sigrún was one of the Valkyrie he most admired. She had fought alongside Thor before, even saving his life once in battle. Thor didn’t need much time to think it over, he decided he would return the favor and save the life of his friend. Even if it meant betraying Odin.

“I think I might have an plan…”

******************

Loki sat in the farthest corner of the palace library occupying his favorite chair. He had a difficult night sleeping the night before and decided to not fight his sleeplessness and made his way to the library, his sanctuary. He would peruse through the alchemy and spell books and then make his way to epics and poetry. This was his usual routine. He grabbed a few books from each section and began fervently reading, soaking up the words on each page. Suddenly, Loki started to heard heavy stomps, frantically moving around the library. He made himself invisible, curious who would be in the library at this time of morning. Loki peaked around a bookshelf and saw Sigrún, the Valkyrie, darting back and forth, seemingly looking for something. What is a Valkyrie doing here? Loki felt slightly possessive of the library even though it was technically open to all who entered the palace. Soon after his first discovery, he heard another set of footsteps, ones he recognized; thunderous and rhythmic. Thor needs to have his rendezvous elsewhere. Loki was irritated and almost revealed himself when he heard Sigrún plead for Thor’s help.

A smile spread across Loki’s face, Ahhh a secret… What are you trying to hide brother? Loki made his way closer to Sigrún and Thor, already thinking of ways to use this as blackmail against his father’s favorite son. But the more Loki eavesdropped on their conversation, the more his motives turned from mischievous to mutual concern. Despite what Loki would say, he cared for Sigrún greatly, especially after one particular instance.

Years ago, when Loki’s Jotun heritage was exposed to all of Asgard, Sigrún had spotted Loki standing alone in the palace garden among a large hedge of roses in his Jotun form. She saw him plucking individual petals from the flowers, cupping handfuls in his palms and then turning them into ice and letting the frozen petals fall from his hands, watching them slowly dissolve when they hit the ground. Sigrún walked up beside him and tried to reach for him.

“Don’t!” Loki hissed “I’m sure Odin would not wish one of his treasured Valkyrie to be corrupted by a Frost Giant.”

Sigrún ignored him and gently grabbed his shoulder. Loki tried to jerk his shoulder away but the Valkyrie refused to move her hand. The both of them stood in silence for what felt like hours, staring at the rose hedge and the melting petals on the ground.

Sigrún didn’t say a word to the Loki, she merely stood beside him, silently showing her support.

The simple act of kindness that the Valkyrie showed Loki, by keeping him company among the roses, almost make him emotional. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, he was extremely grateful for the warmth of Sigrún’s simple act.

As Loki listened further, he vowed to himself he would never reveal what he heard, and perhaps, maybe even assist Sigrún in whatever way she needed, silently showing support.

***********

“Do you really think this will work, your grace?”

“It is a risk we have to take, Sigrún…”

Thor’s plan was simple, he would take Sigrún back to Midgard without Odin’s knowledge and help her set her life up in Midgard with her human love, Aaron and their new baby. The plan seemed easy enough, but the execution would be much more challenging. Recent news of an uprising from Surtur surrounded the kingdom; Odin would most definitely call for his army of Valkyrie, making sure all were accounted for.

Thor and Sigrún made a plan to meet in the middle of the night in the library once more when most of the servants, maids, and guards were sounds asleep. Thor would escort her to the Bifrost Bridge and beg Heimdall not to say a word to anyone, and travel to Midgard for a short while with Sigrún to make sure she was settled with her new life on Earth.

The night came for Sigrúns escape. The palace was eerily silent. Sigrún carefully made her way to the library, unspotted. She peered behind the bookshelves, making sure she was alone. Thor arrived shortly after her.

“Are you ready, Lady Sigrún?” Thor whispered

“I am.”

Thor lead Sigruún through the long hallways of the palace, making sure not to be seen. The journey seemed forever for Sigrún, she was anxious to exit the palace. Please, don’t let us be seen she prayed, to whoever would listen…

****************

Loki waited for Thor and Sigurn to leave the library and began to follow them. While they were walking past the hallways, Loki had spotted two palace guards heading their way Excellent planning brother. Thor had obviously forgotten that because of the potential Surtur uprising, the palace would become more heavily guarded than usual. Loki quickly cast a spell on the guards, causing them to not see the Valkyrie or Thor. Loki did this their whole escape of the palace, casting spells on the various guards that would almost make their way towards the two escapees. He really didn’t know why he was helping his brother and the disgraced Valkyrie, it certainly wasn’t for sentiment, at least that's what he told himself.

You are forever indebted to me for this, Brother.

*******************

6 months later

Something was wrong. Thor could sense it as he jolted out of bed and began to get dressed.

Thor had safely (and without exposure) aided Sigrún’s escape to Midgard. They had met up with Aaron in a small apartment, and all was well.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Thor—I-I mean, your Highness. Sigrún has told me so much about you and Asgard” Aaron began to bow which made Thor chuckle.

“It is quite alright, Aaron. And you may call me Thor.”

It was the first time Aaron and Thor had met, but Thor could see that he was a good man. Especially if a highly esteemed Valkyrie was willing to risk everything and uproot her entire life for him. The two men became instant friends.

Thor stayed in Midgard for a few days before heading back to Asgard. The three of them shared tearful goodbyes, not knowing when they would all be together again.

“Thank you so much, for everything, your majesty. I will never be able to repay you.”

“You’re a fine woman, Sigrún, and I am honored I was able to aid you and your little one.” Thor reached down and placed a gentle hand on the Valkyries forming baby bump.

The God and Valkyrie embraced once more. Thor then raised Mjölnir above his head, called out to Heimdall and then quickly vanished.

Thor raced toward the Bifrost Bridge, awkwardly maneuvering through the bustling palace and ignoring anyone who called out to him. Loki happened to notice his brother running around which piqued his interest. He followed his brother from a distance and could see Thor was making his way toward Heimdall and the Bifrost. He made himself invisible and spied on Thor.

“Heimdall! I need you to allow me to leave for Midgard!”

Heimdall stood still, hardly acknowledging the booming demand.

“Heimdall!” Thor roared louder “I had a dream last night that felt more like a prophecy, I need you to see what has become of Sigrún.”

After a few more silent moments, Heimdall finally opened the Bifrost Bridge, allowing Thor to leave. Loki decided he would follow his brother to Midgard, blaming his boredom and curiosity.

Thor arrived in a hospital waiting room. He was confused but then remembered it was approximately the time Sigrún was expecting to give birth to her child. Thor, with Loki invisible and close by, looked for someone who could help him locate Sigrún.

“Excuse me, Medicine Lady of the Children’s Ward, I’m looking for a new mother called Sigrún.”

The nurse raised her eyebrows in confusion. Thor’s Midgardian vernacular was still lacking. Loki laughed to himself, What a remarkable idiot.

“Any new moms will be that way.”

Thor thanked the nurse and followed her direction. He entered a vast hallway, each room filled with women just arriving, in the process of giving birth, or just finishing the anguishing ordeal and holding their new babies. Thor looked at the names on each door trying to find the Valkyrie’s name. After about the seventh door, he saw a sign reading; “Welcome Sigrún to room 1107.” Thor was immediately excited. Without thinking he barged in, hoping Sigrún had given birth already so he could meet the new baby. When Thor (and Loki) walked in, the scene was not what they expected after a joyous event. Aaron was resting his head between his arms on the side of Sigrún’s bed. It was evident he was crying, but the only noise coming from the room were the soft cries of a newborn coming from an infant cot in the corner of the room.

Sigrún lay perfectly stiff in her bed, colorless. Thor quickly processed what had happened and that his foreboding dream was indeed a prophecy. In his dream, Sigrún was covered in blood begging for help, with the sound of a baby crying in the background. Thor’s eyes welled up with tears.

Loki was hysterical. He immediately left the room, and transported himself back to his room on Asgard and began to throw and shatter any objects he could find. One of the few people who ever showed him kindness in his Jotun form was gone. And there was nothing to do to bring her back.

Back on Midgard, Aaron looked up to see Thor standing in the room, his eyes were bloodshot, and his face was covered with tears and snot.

“What. Happened?” Thor tried to keep his voice from cracking.

“They said it was ‘postpartum hemorrhaging.’ She—bled to death.” Aaron began weeping again. The baby’s cries continued. Thor looked over to the infant cot and saw a beautiful baby swaddled in a white hospital blanket wearing a pink cap. Thor assumed the baby was a girl. He walked over to the newborn and picked her up from the cot and held her. He looked at her little face. She was absolutely beautiful, making out the features she shared with her mother. The baby stopped crying as Thor gently rocked her back and forth.

“What am I gonna do, Thor?”

The two men looked at each other. They both saw a mutual uncertainty in their faces. Thor didn’t know how to answer him.

“I do not know, Aaron. But what I do know is that Sigrún would want you to remain strong for your child’s sake.”

Thor handed the baby to her grieving father. “Why don’t you hold your daughter and come up with a name for her.”

Aaron looked at his child as tears continuously ran down his cheeks. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Her name is Y/N, Sigrún said she really liked that name.”

“A beautiful name.”

Thor made his way by his friend's side and stood next to him. He looked at the Valkyrie’s lifeless body once more and silently promised her that he would never allow anything to happen to Aaron and Y/N.

taglist: @portietomednalynn

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chubbysweettooth · 6 years ago

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Life love stress and set backs

Haven’t wrote in this since November, and it’s hard to recollect everything but but as of right now life sucks once again. And Its s somewhat all foo familiar situation.

Sunday, cinco de Mayo. We hadn’t really talked or saw each other last week. You’ve been stopping the sexual occurrences as of late but they have still snuck in. Last week we had sex, but argued. If I joke about sex or make advances I’m shunned, when you do it it’s suppose to be fun and teaseful. Unfair.

Anyway, I reached out to you to which you shortly rejected going to Angry Horse brewery which now was probably a good idea since you probably wouldn’t have liked the beer selection. You said “we should probably talk soon” and my heart sank. I already knew what it was. Three possibilities went through my head; You started sleeping with someone else, you starting seeing someone else which would pretty mean you’d start sleeping with them at some point or you were gonna say we should talk or hang out anymore and though that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re interested in someone else, I felt that that would be the reason for not seeing each other. Well I was right, you’re “talking” to someone else and come to find out it’s been for a month and your perception is that we’ve been done since February. Honestly we haven’t. To make it worse it’s someone you work with. Which I mentioned a few months ago as joke and now looking back it just seems like I’ve been calling these type of things out. Now I know that the times you didn’t reacted probably meant something. The times you were defensive meant something.

I’m fucking torn, I’ve cried ever since. Yesterday was the only day I had it under control but it’s still trying to come out. We were suppose to go to the gym, we didn’t, I didn’t want to talk to you because of how much it hurt. I didn’t want to see you because of how much I’m hurting. But I did anyway over food and not touching you or being close you is killing me. I can’t do this as friends. I don’t know if I ever will. I hate thinking of you with someone else and I really hate thinking about the fact that you’re already into someone else. I can’t fucking believe that this is happening. I feel so stupid, I look so stupid. I wasn’t the best of person when we were dating. I’ve acknowledged and apologized. Doesn’t fix anything I know, but I’ve been trying the last few months to be better, after our last huge argument. It’s too little too late to you. It sucks. I don’t feel like it’s worth anything and now its really not.

I quit Forever 21, friday the 3rd was my last day. I had talked to Kurt two months ago about going back part time as a side job, in which you didn’t really want me to and now it kinda makes sense. You even said “what if I start dating someone and we have to see each other, wouldn’t it be weird?” I honestly didn’t think you’d move on that quick. You’ve move on so Fucking quick. I feel worthless, I really feel important or valuable to you anymore. . I was in what I called a purgatory with my depression, I wasnt happy but I also wasn’t bad so I accepted that. I made future goals which I hadn’t because of how deep I’ve gotten in my depression. Now I’m out of that purgatory. I’m right back into the deep end of the pool of negativity. I don’t want to move, I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to think at all. I don’t want my future goals, I don’t care about anything anymore. It’s destroying me. I hate to admit it, sunday was the closest I’ve ever gotten mentally to killing myself. I lost my Shit so bad Sunday night. You came over and i enjoyed being next to you but the sight of you hurt. Then the rest of the day didn’t help.

Anytime your phone goes off I think it’s him. Whenever you’re on your phone I think it’s cause you’re talking to him. I don’t even know who He is which makes it worse. I applied to go back to Macy’s and was so excited to because I’d get to see you for short periods of time and I felt happy because I could get paid doing something I was extremely familiar with. Now that’s ruined. And I’m scared cause I didn’t want to look for another job so soon, and now I feel like o have to.

I FUCKING HATE THIS SO MUCH AND I CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

I should have given you more, I was scared to before. I was worried Daisy would feel what I’m feeling right now. That’s always been my concern. But I shouldn’t have focused on that. October ruined a lot because I wanted to ask you be my girlfriend on Halloween cause it’s my favorite holiday. I was busy a lot at forever 21 the beginning of the month and we bumped heads because of it but I knew it would be different once I was at montebello. I was happy, it was a new start and a new chapter and I wanted it to include the only thing you ever wanted from me. 5 days before I found out about your neighbor. And ever since I’ve questioned being with you. Every time I felt like moving forward I was reminded of it and it ruined me. This shit is fucking killing me, I don’t know what to do.

I feel like I’m probably gonna send you this. And I feel like I shouldn’t. You told me you don’t like when I tell you I love you or do anything of what we used To but you gotta remember that this is extremely sudden for me. It’s been 2-3 days. You’ve been over this for at least a month.

I forgot I already had a tumblr for you. This was the bad one, the one that was about the bad stuff. I deleted the other one which didn’t have too much more but it was both good and bad. It was thoughts I didn’t mention out loud. If you notice whenever you say “you’ve never told me that” I get stuck. I try to remember if I ever did tell you. The reason being I’ve probably posted about it, talked about it in more detail with someone else like Joey or used to be Danny. So I have just not to you. Idk, maybe I felt like it would ruin things or make you feel like I was over stuff when I wasn’t. I try not to talk to too many people about it. It’s not that they won’t get it but I probably don’t want to hear it. It’s exhausting speaking of it once. Imagine a few extra times.

I definitely hate that I’m making you feel bad telling you things because I’m the one that’s hurt. I fucking hate feeling like you’re not telling me everything. I feel you are more serious with this guy than you’re letting on. I hate feeling like I’m just a fucking thorn in your side because he’s at the top of your attention. Fuck I can’t believe this.

I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know what I’m gonna do about Macy’s. This seriously fucked that up so bad. I’m embarrassed going back and feeling like everyone knows you’re done with me cause we weren’t done a month ago.

I want to forget about you and I know I can’t. I hate that I’m so attached to you. It makes me look weak. I hate that I cared about you so much cause I feel like you’ve hurt me twice in the same way(and I know I’ve hurt you many times before as well.). I hate all this and even as mad as I am, I want to scream and slam my hands into the ground, I still crave the scent of your perfume and the touch of your skin next to mine.

Fuck.

Edit: I’m sure there’s things I left out. I just can’t think right now.

#may 8 2019

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validark · 5 years ago

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A Note for those in the Diners Dives and Nuzlockes discord server run by Mystic and Jasper

[Date Writen - 16/08/2019 8:11 am] [Date Posted 1/10/2019 2:05 pm]

I’ve decided to post this now because it’s been bugging me alot lately

Hi guys, it’s Amy On the 8th I woke up unable to access this server and unable to contact mystic about it and Jasper didn’t reply to my message asking about what happened to the server I sent sham a message on tumblr asking, was informed that nothing had happened She sent me an invite on discord and that’s how I found out I was banned

I had no idea why I would of been banned, I was asleep! Bans normally happen right after an offense, not out of the blue

She asked in the server and mystic sent her a message which was extremely flimsy, stated I had two “adult/minor ships” and wouldn’t explain what they were aside from saying i had complained about one in the server I then tried to get in contact with mystic on tumblr to ask what he meant, what the other ship was, only to find that he had blocked me He had blocked me on tumblr and discord (I had assumed he had a setting where people who weren’t in the same servers as him couldn’t message him I didn’t think he had blocked me)

I had no warning of the ban, no proper explanation and no way to get in contact I only got “proper reasons” when I got in contact with a friend who was in the server and who I’ve known for years I finally found out what the other ship was, and it was a ship I hadn’t actively shipped since 2017 Around 2016-2017 i read the Pokemon Adventures Manga When i read the Yellow chapters, I assumed that Lance was around 16-ish, I had no internet so I had no way to confirm this I started crack shipping him with Yellow around the FireRed/LeafGreen chapters

One time when I had internet and access to my tumblr I made a Grantedshipping tumblr which I was active on for maybe two-three months before I fell out of the ship I forgot about the blog and would be reminded every few months due to someone like bombing it I would clear the notifications and then leave the blog, figuring I could leave it up for other people who shipped it and being too lazy to actually bother to delete it One time, months ago, tumblr didn’t register that I had left the blog and I sent a post to mystic

Which went through on the blog

(also funfact yellow is 26 in canon now seeing as the dex-holders do age and shes like 2 years younger than green so :) ) Mystic knew about this blog months ago, anyone of you who followed my blog and did a quick search you would of found out that I had been very active in the marissonshipping corner of the pokeani famdom Another reason I got banned was for “breaking server rules” which :) I hadn’t done in the past few months so :) glad to know that things that happened months-a year ago were still being held against me I also apparently upset people when I talked about marissonshipping, which :) how would I of known :) no one told me :) I’m not a mindreader :) I’m autistic :) if you say my name and add nothing else to it I have no idea what you mean :)

Quoting from the messages he sent my friend: “- her record of breaking server rules and ignoring me” When I broke rules I apologized and worked on not repeating those behaviors If I’ve ever ignored mystic, it’s because I was having a conversation with someone and he would come in and drop a #channel No explanation Example One time I was talking about my cat to someone, no other conversation was happening, it was in #talkies - I was under the assumption that #pets was for pictures and discussion related to those pictures only and that #talkies was for, well, talking (There was no description next to the channel name) - mystic came in and dropped a #pets and nothing else so I continued having the conversation because I didn’t know what he meant

He then told me to move the conversation over to #pets

“-she had interrupted conversations (wtf does this even mean?) and didn’t listen when I told her to move to another channel (would of helped if you had of asked/told me to move to another channel instead of just dropping a #channel) doxxed herself (happened close to a year ago, I apologized and deleted that message and didn’t repeat) and brought up an uncomfortable topic multiple times after people were like “hey, don’t do that” (when I made someone uncomfortable and they told me I deleted the messages, apologized and worked to not do it again or put it behind a spoiler, someone simply saying my name doesn’t register as someone telling me to stop because I have a very hard time reading tone even when I’m talking to someone face to face and have their expressions to help how am I meant to suddenly understand the tone on an internet message) Marissonshipping made multiple members uncomfortable (No one told me this)

Also, nice to know the blacklist means shit seeing as I put drug-use in there :)

In short I had my trust betrayed by someone I thought was my friend, had things I had apologized and worked to not repeat held against me, no messages about making people uncomfortable, had a ship I hadn’t shipped in years and that he knew about for months held against me, was banned days after an “offence”, was given no warning of the ban, wasn’t given a chance to talk this out, and wasn’t even given a “proper” reason until mystic was pushed for it Fuck mystic And fuck the cowards who couldn’t tell me I upset them

If you are in his discord server, don’t make the mistake of thinking he or Jasper are your friends, don’t make the mistake of thinking that they believe in “forgive and forget”, don’t make the mistake of thinking they leave things you’ve apologized for in the past Don’t make the mistake of thinking that they won’t toss you to the wolves

They aren’t your friends

They will hold everything you’ve ever done against you

And they will toss you out with no warning or explanation

#Nuzlocke #pokemon nuzlocke #discord #nuzloke challenge

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convenientalias · 6 years ago

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A Summary of My Fics in 2018

I found this post lying around and apparently I forgot to post it two weeks ago at the New Year’s when I first made it, so. Here’s a list of the fics I wrote in 2018, with some musings etc.

** = Personal favorite.

# = I wish it had more comments.

Animorphs

on a night like this one (1952 words)--A Cassie/Rachel fic written for the Smut Exchange in April, so not a whole lot of plot! I was inspired by a prompt asking for Cassie as the gentle dom, which seemed like such an interesting concept.

falcon falcon, burning bright (2264 words)--Written for Bad Things Happen Bingo in June, a fic about Visser Three capturing Jake. The square I wrote it for was “The Collector”.

Whales and Dolphins and Humans and Yeerks (1416 words)--A Cassie/Aftran fic. Written on one of those probably-too-frequent occasions I opened for femslash prompts. I’d kind of always wanted to write some Caftran? But never got around to it bc I have too many damn fandoms. (...fandamns.)

Avatar: The Last Airbender

...wow, I wrote six fics for this fandom this year. Guess it was more of an ATLA year than I thought.

Largely bc of keircatenation, btw, who sent me a couple very nice prompts.

Kyoshi Wood (This Bird Has Flown) (1726 words)--Dysfunctional Tyzula fic, the first ATLA fic I have ever posted on AO3 (...though I have in the past posted a number on ff.net). Written because I listened to the song “Norwegian Wood” and instantly thought, “Welp, that’s a Tyzula vibe.” The first ATLA fic I wrote this year and it was already July...guess my ATLA content has been all in the past five months.

** every feudal lord needs a loyal handmaiden (13883 words)--Moooore Tyzula! This fic was for the Femslash After Dark Exchange in July which should make it more smutty than it is! But I figure the mature rating is justified by the various dark goings-on. Anyways, this is basically me writing the political intrigue Tyzula fic of my dreams, which is how it got so damn long. I’m quite happy with it.

a snow fight (1660 words)--...and I’m not happy with this one! I was prompted “No holds barred beatdown” for Zuko in Bad Things Happen Bingo and I tried my best but I think I just wasn’t in the right headspace. Came out kind of eh.

changing, losing, staying (3906 words)--Written when I opened for femslash prompts and received the prompt "'I can't afford to lose you too' + Suki/Ty Lee". Postcanon, pretty chill, longer than I expected it to be by the time I was done.

** because it would be a waste (1891 words)--Brief Azutara fic for the prompt of "Azula/Katara, set in a Bad Future AU where Azula is Fire Lord and Katara is her Favorite Prisoner." Written in November.

A Diplomatic Mission and Its Results (2483 words)--I was prompted diplomacy and Suki/Sokka/Toph for some poly event and I did my best! Never really thought about this ship before.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)

** Mhaacta Made Them Do It (3631 words)--Amy/Rosa treat for the Femslash After Dark Exchange, featuring ritual sex and an ELDRITCH ABOMINATION. ...technically a case fic.

Caper Court - Caro Fraser

the pupil of dover court (1543 words)-- I found this book series thru the Yuletide Exchange but only had time (...well, access, really) to read the first book. But I quite liked it and wrote a treat for the person requesting it for the exchange.

Catherine (Web Series)

there's something about catherine (1299 words)-- Another fandom I found through the Yuletide Exchange! This requester wanted some Lynchian Normcore femslash so I did my best to provide. Very easy fandom to get into, btw, webseries is less than an hour long.

Disney

** Amor Vincit Omnia (3231 words)--Maleficent/Philip Stockholm Syndrome fic, written as a treat for the Chocolate Box Exchange.

No one will hurt you (1166 words)--Inspired by a short comic by @disneyfemslashcomics, a Mulan/Jasmine fic featuring hurt/comfort and a nonbinary Mulan.

** # Old and stolen texts (2635 words)--A Belleficent fic I wrote bc idk I like Maleficent and I like Belle and the two seemed like a good ship for Stockholm Syndrome and, obviously, beauty and the beast scenarios. Quite proud of this one :)

Dollhouse

I wrote five fics for this fandom this year but I still think I kind of cooled on it. For one thing, two of those fics were assigned for exchanges--for another, last year, with little to no incentive of that kind, I wrote seven. Still had a good time this year tho.

Also, all of them were pretty dark! We’re not surprised.

** i'll take your mind (to kick around as a toy) (3095 words)--Adelle/Echo fic written for the Trope Bingo Challenge, for a square of “in another man’s shoes”. Longer than I had remembered!

Orientation (3881 words)--Possibly my darkest fic of the year, but I’m sure it’s debatable. Blatant rape/non-con between Bennett Halverson and Caroline Farrell, written for the Nonconathon Exchange.

taking turns (2008 words)--Lighter in the sense that it’s melancholy rather than dark as hell. A Claire and Topher fic written for the Remix Revival event, remixing a fic I greatly enjoyed.

# january to december, do you want to be a member? (1338 words)--Adelle/Echo fic where Adelle uses Echo as a doll. Kind of a filler fic, I’d always wanted to play with the idea but couldn’t get super into it. Ehh.

# someone to watch over me (1217 words)--Claire-centered fic with not a whole ton of plot. Again, kind of a filler fic. This is one reason I have to say I was not so into this fandom this year--2/5 fics being filler isn’t a great ratio.

Egil Saga - Faun (Music Video)

No man shall scratch runes. (1273 words)--Written as a treat for the Yuletide Exchange. H/C and some very basic worldbuilding for a weird, surreal music video. Not much else to say. Debatably femslash.

Flesh and Bone (TV)

Danseuse and Partner (1172 words)-- I got paired with someone for the Chocolate Box Exchange who requested soft and fluffy fic for Cassie/Jake, but at that time I had no fluffy Animorph feelings so I binge-watched this miniseries so I could fill their other request, which was domestic, relatively functional incest fic. Idk if I succeeded, it was an interesting prompt but I didn’t ship it. I was more vibing with the series’ femslash potential. But I never got around to writing for that.

Gattaca (1997)

Gattaca fandom, I swear I still love you! I’m just less depressed this year! Which, to be honest, IS A GOOD THING! but not very conducive to the kind of Gattaca fic I used to write lols.

** Peppermint and Vanilla (1492 words)--H/C Eugne & Vincent fic written when @trifoyle prompted me the title. I’m quite happy with it.

Of Physicists and Janitors (35780 words)-- I only wrote like a chapter of this in 2018. God. I really need to finish this. Also AO3 thinks I wrote the whole thing this year which just is not true.

Allergies (2374 words)-- Fic I started like two years ago and only finished now. Mostly Vincent-centric. Again, inspired by conversation with @trifoyle

Gravity Falls

The Pink Streak (1644 words)-- Wendy/Pacifica fic written as a treat for the Chocolate Box Exchange.

Grease (1978)

beauty queen, my best girl (1018 words)-- Frenchy/Sandy fic, written as a treat for the Chocolate Box Exchange.

Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald

** A Mistress's Mistress (2178 words)-- Jordan/Myrtle fic written as a treat for the Chocolate Box Exchange. Because Myrtle deserves better, okay?

** Santa Barbara (2691 words)-- Pre-canon Jordan/Daisy fic written for a prompt of "Jordan manipulating Daisy (and Daisy kind of going along with it)." Probably my favorite Jordaisy fic I’ve written to date.

Careless Wanderers (2380 words)-- Post-canon Jordan/Daisy fic written for Trope Bingo for the “Road Trip” square.

White Lies of a Colored Past (1820 words)-- About two years ago I wrote down the idea of Gatsby incorporating Nick into his shady, multiple-choice backstory. And then this year I finally wrote it. ...probably would have been better two years ago but I don’t not like it.

** for children's consumption (3143 words)-- Someone prompted me Nick Carraway and abuse/neglect for Bad Things Happen Bingo, and I wrote this odd little gen fic drawing parallels between his past and Pammy’s present. I’m quite pleased with it.

the dawn of another summer (443 words)-- Fic found in a deleted text file. Jordaisy.

the kind of choices you make at midnight (436 words)-- Fic found in a deleted text file. Jordaisy.

Greek and Roman Mythology

Messenger of the Atreides (2035 words)-- I wrote this as a pinch hit for the Chocolate Box Exchange. Shipping Odysseus/Achilles from the Iliad. The vaguest smut I ever did write.

Hannibal (TV)

** # A similar confusion (4036 words)--Weird Gideon & Will fic bc having watched Hannibal, I really just wanted someone to be nice to Will who wasn’t Hannibal bc oh geez.

Harlots (TV)

girl in black and white (451 words)-- Short little ficlet I wrote for fuckthegods for the TV Exchange. Fuckthegods left tumblr... I’m really sad.

There is no one higher (2300 words)-- Caroline/Charlotte fic, would be PWP if I went harder on the actual smut.

Heathers

Right Answers (1667 words)-- Chansaw fic for the Femslash Exchange. Probably should have been longer but I overbooked myself this season and for once didn’t have the time.

doing an old friend a favor (2080 words)-- Someone requested Veronica/McNamara with a JESSICA JONES NOIR AU for Yuletide so of course I had to treat that shit.

How to Get Away with Murder

I wrote six whole fics for this fandom and still never wrote shippy stuff for my OTP. I NEED TO GET AROUND TO THAT. Also all my fics were relatively short and I should get on that. But this fandom doesn’t comment a whole lot and none of my friends are in it so it’s hard to motivate...

** your sweetheart psychopathic crush (2148 words)-- My first fic in this fandom, darkish Lilabecca bc of course I had to start with dark femslash.

five ways of looking at a homicide (1950 words)-- Asher POV finding out about all the shit that went down with the original Keating murder.

exam grade (1174 words)-- Annalise being concerned about Wes.

stuck in the corner (1089 words)-- Annalise/Michaela and Annalise/Bonnie in one brief smutty moment. Written for the Annual Femslash Kinkmeme.

# warm water (1353 words)-- Angsty Bonnalise bath sex. Written for the Annual Femslash Kinkmeme.

this is nice but also that is a murder bed (1062 words)-- And a random Connor/Wes fic appears.

Hungry Daughters of Starving Mothers - Alyssa Wong

# the street's a liar (2411 words)--Honestly this fic (written for Dark Femslash Week) is pretty good and I would write more fic for this fandom if it wasn’t two ppl and a shoelace.

I reincarnated into an otome game as a villainess with only destruction flags

Villainesses Must Stick Together (2950 words)-- Written as a treat for the Yuletide Exchange. The rare diary format fic! Multiple realities interacting and some very mild selfcest!

Inception (2010)

** Fortifier (3512 words)-- Saito/Cobb fic written as a treat for the Chocolate Box exchange, with Saito as Cobb’s employer but also veering close to sugar daddy. I’m actually pretty happy with this.

Jessica Jones (TV)

Nothing Neat or Nice (2484 words)-- Hogarth/Jessica, plotless infidelity.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (TV)

gentleman's homecoming (1543 words)-- Lazy Grant/Jonathan fic mostly written to get my feet wet in the fandom.

** the husband in the tower (3787 words)--Arabella rescues Jonathan! Basically the fic I wanted to be the canon ending! But also written for my assignment for Yuletide! So we know other ppl wanted it too.

** Empty Houses Need to Be Filled (3804 words)-- Written as a Yuletide treat, an Emma/Arabella post-canon recovery fic.

A Strange Pact (1374 words)-- Going to be multichapter AU gen fic about Jonathan and the Gentleman. I’m working on it!

Lady of the Shard (Webcomic)

nix the new age morality (1537 words)--Noncon of the “Old God made them do it with mind control” sort, treat for the Nonconathon Exchange.

Les Misérables

you should probably arrest me (751 words)-- Enjolras/Javert ficlet, prompted.

shivering under the stars (2277 words)-- Enjolras/Javert, prompted for the “shaking and shivering” square for Bad Things Happen Bingo.

Marco Polo (TV)

Eleven fics for this fandom this year! Why, that’s quite a few! This is entirely bc of fuckthegods who a) sent me a lot of prompts for femslash and one for gen and b) just in general is my Marco Polo muse, inspires me to write fics I wouldn’t otherwise write. And now she’s gone off to Dreamwidth and I am honestly so sad but anyways.

Also, I’m not gonna tag any of these as “could use more comments” bc Marco Polo is such a damn small fandom but. That is true for basically all of these.

And I would walk five hundred miles (2514 words)-- Jing Fei/Mei Lin fic where Jing Fei survives and the two are reunited.

** Make me feel missed (2157 words)--Sequel to above, this time THERE’S SMUT.

truth in the cups (489 words)-- Written for fuckthegods in an exchange, Chabit/Mei Lin fic.

i will wait for you (1060 words)-- Jing Fei/Mei Lin episode related.

** do princes bleed blue (1643 words)-- Jingim whump for Bad Things Happen Bingo, “bleeding through bandages”.

stages of reflection (2229 words)-- Mei Lin + mirrors. For Bad Things Happen Bingo “rage against the reflection”.

an empress' softness (1558 words)-- Mei Lin/Chabi, smutty and angsty episode tag to “Measure Against the Linchpin.”

running from a savior (1459 words)-- Mei Lin & Marco, related to “Hug.”

Harmless (1158 words)-- Mei Lin/Chabi smut set in Season One, playing with power dynamics.

dance of mourning (695 words)-- Mei Lin mourning Jing Fei.

a whore's return to cambulac (2075 words)-- My last gift to fuckthegods before she left tumblr, a Mei Lin/Chabi reunion fic postcanon.

Miraculous Ladybug

Bound to Be There For You (2908 words)-- Chlonette fic written for the “tied together” square of Trope Bingo.

Original Work

** In the Private Seating (3384 words)-- Theatre smut. Femslash. Written as a treat for the Smut Exchange.

Perilous Gard - Elizabeth Marie Pope

** # The Training of a Human (5019 words)-- Dark Lady/Kate fic for Yuletide treat.

** Bangles (2485 words)-- Aaaand another dark Lady/Kate fic for Yuletide treat.

Phantom of the Opera

Me: I feel like I’ve been less active in the POTO fandom this year.

Also me: Wrote 28 POTO fics this year.

Got a lot of prompts, especially from generalsleepy, ponderinfrustration, a couple others I can’t think of off the top of my head. Thanks to all you guys for the inspiration.

Perfectionist (1617 words)-- Soft early relationship Carlottastine ficlet. Prompted.

Mind Beating Wild (1544 words)-- Carlottastine remix of the cemetery scene. Also prompted.

** Buttercup Boys and Goldenrod Girls (2990 words)-- Queerplatonic Raoul & Christine fic with aro Christine and demisexual Raoul. Kind of a wandering, collage-y fic.

** Cinnamon and Tobacco (5441 words)-- My first ever Daraoulga fic! A lot of H/C.

Nowhere, Nobody Else (1450 words)-- Cherik/Philippe fic. Prompted.

** in my heart i belong in a house by the sea (1797 words)-- Angsty as heck R/C fic. In Sweden! Prompted.

** free city for the enterprising (1746 words)-- Vaaaampires with R/C and E/R, I think it was prompted?

the more persistent spirit (3279 words)-- More generic Daraoulga fic, me still trying to figure out how Daraoulga would work.

** half-sick of shadows (3320 words)-- I just felt like “The Lady of Shalott” had strong Christine vibes, so I mixed it into a Carlottastine fic.

two divas one bed (1332 words)-- I mean what does it sound like. Modern AU Carlottastine.

** kiss me hard before you go (2489 words)-- Carlottastine but Carlotta is leaving Paris to live in the country so they’re BREAKING UP OH NO. Prompted.

hello, i want to kiss you (1009 words)-- Cherik/Philippe fic. Prompted.

Confusion of a Night (1987 words)-- Carlotta & Raoul fic, written for the “sensory overload” square of Bad Things Happen Bingo.

** two-thirty phone calls are never a good sign (1671 words)-- Daraoulga modern AU fic written for the humiliation square of Bad Things Happen Bingo.

** could you maybe act like you don't hate me (3433 words)-- Carlottastine smut mostly.

eliminate the competition (437 words)-- Carlotta ficlet. Prompted.

gala (654 words)-- A softer follow-up on “two-thirty phone calls are never a good sign.” ...I think it was prompted?

spiteful (796 words)-- Erik/Carlotta spiteful kiss ficlet, prompted.

take notes, sweetheart (466 words)-- Carlottastine antagonistic UST ficlet, prompted.

good morning erik (443 words)-- Fluffy Cherik/Philippe ficlet, prompted.

** she loves a pretty face (3966 words)-- Prompted “Raoul, scar to remember” for Bad Things Happen Bingo. Some R/C and E/R. I like this one.

lonely with you (1583 words)-- Prompted Raoul and touch-starved for Bad Things Happen Bingo. R/C, Sweden fic.

** Dolls and Goblins (5175 words)-- Prompted E/R and forced crossdressing, not somewhere I would usually go! But I think it came out well.

don't you trust me? (921 words)-- Angsty Daraoulga ficlet. Prompted.

nothing more than a minnow (1019 words)-- Quiet ghost!E/R fic written for the Darkest Night Exchange. This prompt definitely deserved better than I gave it! Idk why I wasn’t vibing with it just then.

cause you might not get tomorrow (1619 words)-- Carlotta carpe diem fic! Including Carlottastine.

long-term issues (2679 words)--Not another E/R kidnapping fic, I can’t believe it. I think this was prompted but I fucked with the prompt.

i wanna run away with you (2464 words)--Daroga joins with the R & C gang for the Sweden elopement.

Tell me the truth. (1941 words)-- Angsty Daraoulga, prompted.

...why does it feel like I didn’t write that much POTO fic? Maybe bc proportionally it’s less than in other years. But this year I wrote more fic in general, so of course the proportions have shifted.

Riverdale (TV 2017)

** the long elasticity of forgiveness (4321 words)-- FP is in jail, Jughead is being very patient.

** # My Secret Brother (7614 words)-- Technically Chic would have been Jughead’s brother too, so.

# spill some blossom blood (2049 words)-- Written for Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt, “Cheryl, take me instead”.

Sense8 (TV)

Six fics this year :) That’s about as many as I thought. Fandom deserves more tbh.

You, Painted Pink and Blue (2652 words)-- Sun/Riley kind of smut without plot, written for the Trope Bingo square of “Romance novel AU.”

Secret Garden (999 words)-- Sun/Soo-jin ficlet.

** Such Things Are Possible (12867 words)-- Rajan’s POV of that CRAZY FINALE, possibly my most popular fic this year. I had a lot of feelings.

smart talker (1385 words)-- Capheus and Whispers and creepiness. Prompted.

** Lovely in Starlight (5080 words)-- Fucked up Lila/Kala fic bc sometimes you gotta do all the work for yourself. I like this one.

** first meetings (2294 words)-- Some Jonas what-ifs.

Shades of Magic - V. E. Schwab

Missive From Halfway Through "Seeing It" (1176 words)-- My first fic of the year, a NYR treat, epistolary fic with Kell and Rhy.

Qivuak (2635 words)-- Kell/Holland sex pollen fic for Chocolate Box treat.

** Interlude at the Hot Springs (3457 words)-- Also for Chocolate Box treat, a KELL/HOLLAND HOT SPRINGS FIC. Quite possibly my favorite dumbass premise of the year.

Lily London (2083 words)-- Quiet Kell and Holland fic.

Cat on the Bed (1980 words)-- Kell/Holland smut but they’re cat boys, assigned fic for the Smut Exchange.

Stranger Things (TV 2016)

Think I Know Where You Belong (2004 words)-- Elmax fic, prompted.

** # An Errand in the City (3833 words)-- Kali meets Nancy and visits Hawkins to see El. Kali/Mick fic.

** Long Trek to a New Home (6476 words)-- Kalancy APOCALYPSE FIC, written for the apocalypse square of Trope Bingo.

we live in cities you'll never see onscreen (1321 words)-- Kali/Mick origin story, precanon.

** # hands that stitch (3187 words)-- Kali murders a dude at Nancy’s college, Kalancy.

The Queen's Thief - Megan Whalen Turner

tell me about the mede (655 words)-- I didn’t even write this this year, I just found it in a deleted text document. My QT writing is way down.

The Sting (1973)

a smaller con (1373 words)-- Look I know y’all talk about Hooker/Gondorff but the real ship here is Hooker/Lonnegan k?

イキガミ | Ikigami - All Media Types

it's galling how much i want to be good (3655 words)-- I started this fic like three years ago but only finished and posted this year. Whump.

亜人 - 三浦追儺 & 桜井画門 | Ajin - Miura Tsuina & Sakurai Gamon those who drown together stay together (1352 words)-- Kou and Kei wash up on the shore.

#statistics

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