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imamotherfuckingstar-lord · 5 years

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The Things We Tell Ourselves

Dean Winchester x Reader

A/N: for the amazing @coffee-obsessed-writer . This story means so mch to me, I put very personal emotions into.

Warning: relationship issues, a bit of smut in the end (not too graphic).18&over.

Summary: Stuck in a stale relationship, a visit from Dean Winchester changes everything.

The dive bar was your typical joint, neon decorate lights, a wet look to it, and old country music that would depress the happiest of people – it was your kind of place, a dark secluded secret lair you often went to when things at home got too bad. Now, your ex or at least soon to be ex, was not an overly bad person. He had been great in the beginning, but things had fizzled a few years too late and now you were stuck in a gaping hole that was proving to be hard to climb out. You were a creature of habit and admittedly, afraid to investigate a future that did not involve the ex. It seemed you were just plain ole stuck and that was a reality you were not up to facing – at least, not tonight.

Work had proven to be a painstakingly long day and when you arrive home to the apartment you shared with, he who shall not be named, you were relieved to not see his car in the carport. He must have stayed longer or maybe he was having an affair – you preferred the latter, that way you did not have to feel for not wanting to see him. Maybe he was really having an affair, an idea that swelled the urge to leave the relationship. It would make it easier to leave him, but he was never an adventurous person and an affair would require effort, something he was not known to put forth.

Edging on the bar stool, you asked for another whiskey on the rocks. You waited patiently for the drink because you had nowhere else to go or wanted to. Although your ears perked up when someone had finally done everyone a favor and changed the sad country song to a sad Fleetwood Mac ballad. It was smoother on the ears and when the drink arrived, you grabbed it and held it up in the air – saluting the music changer. It was the little things in life, right? That was what you told yourself, every time things seemed to become stale and gray. You would buy a new dress or style your hair differently, anything to arouse something out of the man you thought you loved. Nothing ever worked and you secretly were grateful, more satisfied with the effort.

Drinking the whiskey, you started to think of excuses to not go home; maybe someone would kidnap you, a handsome stranger who was kind but a little rough around the edges. Someone who knew how to treat a woman, knew how to not make her bitter. It wasn’t like you were asking for the world, just a little devotion and a whole lot of appreciation – was that so bad to ask?

Were you the one looking for too much?

When did this all become so cliché?

You could not pinpoint when it all started, but you remembered the day you realized something was wrong. He was gone for a weekend, went to visit some old friends and you had never felt freedom like that before. Slept in, lounged around reading, and when you finally ventured out for some late lunch, you met a man. You were dining alone, and he was seated at the next table, he was handsome and when he noticed the book you had brought to read, he initiated a conversation. It turned out he was an English teacher and very much single, he joined you at the table and the two of you talked about books for two straight hours. It was thrilling, the attention he was giving you and when he asked for your number, you regretfully declined, and that was when you realized how starved you were. Starved for human reaction other than paying bills and asking about recorded television shows. You craved real affection and connection, and that day, you noted that it was the first time in a long time that you felt any connection with a man – and he was not the one you were going home to.

After that, you pulled away from your relationship with your long-term boyfriend and it hurt when he did not seem to notice or care. You should have left long ago, but now it seemed damn near impossible. Too many things locking you in – an apartment lease, a car lease under both your names and other things that came with coupling. But were those just excuses?

Of course, they were.

“Another whiskey, please.”

“Sure thing.”

That was number three now, but nothing could fill the void in your stomach, and that was when he popped into your head. Not the will he ever be ex, no not him. The he you suddenly were thinking about was Dean Winchester – a man you had known for years now, a friend that helped your father when some things came bumping in the night.

Now this is where the story might get odd, hell, the Winchester’s were an urban legend in many people’s books, but to you, they were just Sam and Dean. Their problems seemed far more superior than your bad relationship woes – real life monsters, ghosts, vampires, werewolves, demons, and everything else in between. The thing was, you came from a line of supernatural hunters, but dipped out of that life pretty early on, opting for a more normalized existence. Sometimes you regretted it, when those phone calls would come in from Dean- every few months, updating you on the hunter life and declaring you were missing out. You never knew what number he would call from, so you always made sure to pick up every time your cell rang.

Dean Winchester was a man, a man God himself foretold to be something more than ordinary, but to you, he was just a boy you once knew. Your fathers were decent friends and growing up, Dean and Sam would spend time at your house whenever your dads went off on a hunt together. You were the same age and more times than not, would exclude Sammy from the teenage fun you’d find yourself in. Drinking from your dad’s cabinet, watching adult films and being completely grossed out, even once the two of you kissed. It was fleeting and innocent, but you had never forgotten it and sometimes, when it was quiet at night, you still thought of it.

You were thinking of it now, and it made your skin warm, toes curl and throat clench. So, you asked for water this time and drank it fast, little bits dripped from the corner of your mouth. It was one kiss, but it meant more to you than any other kiss you participated in after. It meant more to you than the peak of your current relationship, when things were actually great, and you were happy. It felt silly, to fixate on childish things but Dean had always held a special place in your heart.

Just thinking about Dean was making you nervous, so when your phone started to buzz and you saw that it was an unknown number calling, you nearly threw up. Taking a deep breath, you placed a hand on the bar for support and answered it with a quiet voice.

“Hello?”

A long pause met you and a second later a laugh of relief filled your ears. His voice was husky and sexy, and when he said your name, you smiled so wide, it hurt the corner of your mouth. “Hey, sweetheart.”

“Dean, it’s good to hear your voice.”

“It is? That’s good? But how good would it be to see my face?”

Confused, you asked what he meant.

“Turn around, sweetheart.”

Whipping around on the stool, you nearly fell when you saw Dean – he was standing near the bar entrance, wearing jeans, a gray flannel and a green jacket over it. His hair was cut in a different style then you had seen last, hair swept up a bit. It made him look a bit more modern, but nonetheless handsome. He grinned and started toward you, but you met him halfway and held him tight as he embraced you.

“What the hell are you doing here,” you asked, hands on his biceps as you pulled away. He shrugged, explaining that Sam and he were passing through, and he could not pass up the chance to see me.

“I went to your apartment and that douchebag you call a boyfriend said he didn’t know where you were. I asked him what kind of boyfriend doesn’t know where his girlfriend was, he wasn’t too keen on my attitude.”

“He’ll live.”

Dean rolled his eyes but hugged you again. “Anyway, called your pops. He told me you had a favorite bar you went to, didn’t know the name. This was the third bar in town I checked, lucky me.”

Your hands stayed on his forearms until he threw his arm around your shoulder and walked you back to the bar, asking if you already had too much to drink. “We plan on staying through tomorrow night, figured we could do some catching up.”

“That sounds great, Dean. I would love nothing more.”

He smiled wide and leaned in to kiss your forehead, telling you whatever you wanted was on the him. Deciding you wanted to be sober for the remainder of the time Dean was in town, you opted for a beer and lemonade, while he ordered a whiskey for himself. The two of you took up a corner booth and he sat across from you, shrugging off his jacket. He was gorgeous, aging well. He talked about hunting through the country, listed a bunch of places he had been and how they now had an angel friend. It was wildly ridiculous, but it sounded like an oddly nice life – a life you might be missing out. Then he talked about getting hurt on the last hunt and you remembered the times your dad came back with looking worse for the wear. You would watch from the kitchen doorway as he fixed himself up, because he never wanted to wake your mother with worry. He knew you were watching and eventually would call your name, telling you to take a seat. Asking him what happened, he’d recount the hunt and how lucky he was to be home. Hunters weren’t always so lucky, he made sure to make that a point until you asked if John Winchester had helped him. He really knew you were asking about Dean, and he would just laugh – even then, by the age of 12, you had the oldest Winchester boy on your mind.

“So, what’s with the boyfriend of yours? I could take him, you know.” Dean was teasing, he always teased about the boyfriend, never understood how you could fall for such a douche – his words, affectionately.

“Nothing’s up, it’s just.”

“Hmm, well, what does your old man have to say about it?”

Your dad had a lot to say, more so than anyone in your life – mom had been gone a few years now and it was just the two of you during the holidays. He hated the boyfriend but respected your decision as an adult – although sometimes you wished he’d demand you to break it off, move back home with him.

“I don’t want to spend the little time I have with you talking about my crumbling relationship.”

Dean nodded and leaned back into the booth, asking if you wanted to go see Sam. “He wants to see you.” You suggested the three of you go out to dinner tomorrow before they leave town, a real nice place; your treat. He grinned and agreed, reaching his hand across the sticky table to yours. His fingertips touched the edge of your knuckles and it made you sad, the feeling it aroused in the pit of your stomach. Dean’s single touch had more impacted than all the touches you had received in that lonely apartment – all the years’ worth of stiffened hugs and chastised kisses. You smiled at Dean and he smiled back, squeezing his palm over your hand before pulling away and thanking the waitress for the round of beers she brought over.

“You know Baby has room for three, we could use a hand – we have a permanent place now.”

We have a permanent place now – that had to be the most important sentence ever said in the existence of the universe, it felt that way, anyhow. It bounced in the air; you could see it – like a large neon sign over a coffee shop. Open for business; we have a permanent place now. It made you feel jealous and excited at the same time, and the way Dean grinned suggestively, it made it seem like he knew you were itching to get out of the life you had made. A life you had carefully rolled out of clay, hoping it will stay up until you realized it had tired and was slowly crumbling into its first form.

You stayed quiet but Dean went on to describe the bunker. “It’s safe as hell, got plenty of rooms. Hell, you don’t even have to go on hunts. You can just keep the fort down for us, be our person on the other line – what Bobby did.”

“I miss him,” you said, and his face dropped. The two of you picked up a glass and held it up for the fallen hunter, before swishing down the beer and laughing when it came spilling out of the corners of your mouth. “Shit, you make it sound so easy, Dean. Just pick up and leave, like I don’t have any responsibilities to leave behind.”

Dean’s eyes softened, as they always did when he talked to you. “Hunters don’t have the same rules as everyone else, you’ve always been a hunter – you’ve just been on the bench for way too long. Sammy could use a research partner too.”

He threw his brother in to make the deal sound sweeter; he knew how much you enjoyed spending time with Sam, researching through old books and the internet. It almost seemed perfect, the great escape you had been longing for, but something inside you was petrified. Too many years had passed, you got too comfortable in the place you had now – had normal responsibilities to think of and mostly, you were afraid of being around Dean, because deep down, the torch you held for him had only grew larger throughout the years. It was painful to think he had not thought of you in the same light and although he was extending a hand to get you out, it didn’t particularly feel romantic. It felt exactly like what Dean Winchester would do for a friend, for family.

“So, what’s up with your angel friend, he cute?”

Dean rolled his eyes, obvious of the deflection. He let it pass and he asked if you wanted to meet him. “One call and he’d be here.”

“I can barely handle two Winchesters in my town, I don’t think I’m ready to meet an actual angel tonight.”

“Next time then, I know Cas would love to meet you. Sammy talks about you all the time.” It was the way he said all the time that clued you into the fact that it wasn’t Sam doing all the talking; it made you smile down at your fingers. They were holding tight to the beer sitting in front of you and for a moment, the whole bar went quiet. Everything stilled in a peaceful silence, time seemed to slow down as you finally looked up at the man sitting across from you. His jawline was shaper than it had been nearly fifteen years ago – when he was scrummaging the line between boy and man. In general, he looked more refined and it was a good look on him.

“Why are you so quiet? I thought you’d be happy to see us?”

He said us but meant him.

“I am, believe me,” you assured him, pushing away the beer. Your stomach could not handle any more drinking, and neither could your heart, because you were one drink away from doing something stupid and reckless. “I just have a lot on my mind, and I don’t think I should drink anymore.”

Dean listened and stared, watching each word fall from your lips. Then he said okay and got up, leaving his beer half full. Your eyes followed him back to the bar, where he pulled out his wallet. He took a few bills out and settled the bar tab, shaking the bartender’s hand before making his way back to you. He asked if you had brought a jacket and you said no, and he asked if you wanted his. You said no again, because you did not want his smell to linger on you after he left – it would hurt too much. A reminder of what you could have had if you were brave enough.

“Suit yourself, come on. Let’s get some food in you, any good burger places around here?”

…

There was this burger stand near the bar, it stayed open late because of the bar hoppers. The food was not particularly anything to write home about, but they did the job when one was sozzled. You weren’t exactly drunk, but a heavy buzz rang over your skin as Dean walked back to Baby with food. He was smiling and each step he took closer to the classic car, your heart and nether regions took a hit. Then he got in and handed over the food, teasing that you better not get Baby dirty. Ignoring him, you started devouring the burger and fries, thanking him when he handed over a water bottle. He watched for a moment, delight in his eyes, as you ate before digging into his own food. For a few minutes, the only sound in the car was Led Zeppelin in the background and the ruffling of the white paper bags the food came in. You ate and stared out the window, watching a couple eating a few cars down. He was cleaning something off her chin, and she was eyeing him like he was the entire world; it made you feel jealous, a bit bitter inside.

“Stop staring at people,” Dean murmured, shoving a fry in his mouth. He had this annoyed look on his face, but you knew that was just him messing around. You apologized and said you forgot how much attention he needed. He smirked and nodded. “I never get attention; all the girls love Sammy and his damn hair.”

That was a lie – a bold face one. Women loved Dean, beyond the obvious good looks.

“I’m sure you’ve had your share of women,” you said, looking back at the window. The couple had pulled out and the spot was empty now. You felt sad that they were gone and wondered if they were going home together or maybe they weren’t together, maybe they each had someone had home. Maybe they were secretly meeting and living out a side storyline – lovers that couldn’t be together.

“Nah, been too busy. Besides, somethings just don’t compare.”

You barely registered what he had said, because a new car had pulled in two spots down and you recognized it with a sharp pain in your chest. It was his car; he loved this shitty burger stand. Slouching a bit, you watched out of the corner of your eye – seeing if he was with someone and God, hoping he was. He wasn’t, that would be too exciting for his life. He was alone and you watched as he got out of the car to order at the counter. Dean was talking in the background, something about you going with him, but nothing was hitting the brain. You focused on him and what he was doing, how different he looked without you at his side. He ordered and waited patiently on the side, because again, he wasn’t a particularly terrible person.

“Earth to dork, you listening or what?”

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, averting your eyes back to Dean. “I’m not feeling so hot, can we get out of here?”

“Sure thing, want me to take you back to the apartment?”

God, no. Sure, he wasn’t home, but just the thought of stepping foot in the place – tarnishing the very night you were having with Dean, to end it – not, you did not want that. “No, let’s go see Sam. I think we should go see him.”

Dean said nothing, but quickly finished off his burger and took a long sip of his coke before asking if you were ready. By the time he was done eating, you had put the rest of the food back in the takeout bag and said yeah, you were ready. The car revved up and you were suddenly aware of someone staring at you, and that was when you locked eyes with the man you had spent years with. He was leaned against the counter, waiting for his food. For a moment, you thought he was staring at you but the fleeting tightness in your chest disappearing when you noticed him admiring Dean’s car. Yes, the man was so blind to you and your existence, he had not noticed you watching from the passenger seat. It was so hilariously sad, you laughed. Full blown laughed as Dean pulled out, asking what was so funny. Relaxing once again, you smiled and turned your head to him.

“Life is.”

…

The motel was a dime a dozen, nothing special. Neon light announcing vacancy and an ice machine near the main check in lobby, several cars parked in the lot. Sam had opened the door with a warm smile and even warmer hug, his height pillaring over you as he pulled you into the room. Dean followed and closed the door, walking over to the small green table near the only window. He placed the left overtake out and shrugs off his jacket, tossing it on one of the two chairs that accompanied the table. Sam lead you to one of the beds and the two of you sat on the edge, catching up just as Dean and you did. It felt good to be near both the Winchesters, and admittedly, felt safe.

“Dean couldn’t pass up a chance at seeing you,” Sam said, eyeing his brother who huffed as he made his way to the bathroom. He waited until the door closed before smiling at you. “We both wanted to see you, how have you been?”

“Good,” you lied.

“Let’s try again,” he laughed.

“I’m getting by, Sam. Just…going through the motions of life.”

His eyes fell on yours and he asked if everything was okay. “You know you’re always welcomed to come with us, that’s all Dean talked about on the way here. He thinks…”

Sam’s sentenced trailed off and you stared as his mouth closed. It seemed he had placed his large foot in his mouth and you had not missed that fact; asking him what Dean thought. His eyes moved to the door of the motel bathroom and he sighed, explaining that their trip here was no unplanned.

“Dean’s been wanting to come check up on you, didn’t like the last phone call you two had. He thought something was up with the boyfriend and he…he planned on convincing you to move to the bunker with us.”

The information settled in just as Dean walked out of the bathroom, drying his hands with a small washcloth. When he was done with it, he threw it on the bed and asked what was up. Sam said he was going to head out to catch a bite to eat. Dean mentioned there were leftovers, but his face pulled up in disgust.

“I’ll go find something a little healthier, a lot less bacon grease. I saw a diner down the block, I’ll walk.”

Dean scoffed. “You ain’t right, man. Who doesn’t like bacon?”

‘It’s the American way,” you joined in.

Sam rolled his eyes, putting on his jacket. “I don’t partake in peer pressure, I’ll see you guys in a bit.”

You laughed and waved bye when he walked out of the room, leaving Dean and you alone. The room grew quiet then and all that could be heard was the sound of Dean’s boot moving across the dingy beige carpet. Eyes glued to the floor; you couldn’t look up as he claimed his brother’s spot on the bed. Unlike Sam, who kept a respectful distance Dean seemed to engulf the little space left between your bodies. His knees brushed hard against yours and his arm nearly hung over your right arm; the situation was stressing you out because suddenly you felt guilty. Guilty that you were in a motel with a man who was not the one you were currently in a committed relationship with; that alone had you rushing off the bed and walking toward the door until Dean jumped up and chased after you.

His hands flung to your shoulder and when he turned you around, your heart was beating so fast and hard, you were scared you were going to have a heart attack; his mossy eyes stared into yours and he asked you to stay.

“Please.”

Oh, that please; it was more than you could handle. It was so quiet and desperate, before you could say a word, your mouth was on his. It was only the second time in your life that you kissed Dean and it felt just as it did the first go around. Sweet, yet longing, his hands went up to your face and he held you gently. You groaned against his body, hands on his hips as you guided him back toward the bed. It felt suddenly when he broke the kiss, your eyes still closed until he whispered your name. Fluttering open, Dean’s face unblurred and a smile appeared, his hands now on your shoulders. His fingers were warm, even over your clothes and he asked if you were sure.

“Sure?”

He sighed. “I have ears, I know Sam told you my plan. Jeez, never could keep a damn secret, huh? Doesn’t matter. I want you to come live with us. Like I said, the bunker is safe, and you don’t have to hunt, can just hold down the fort when we’re gone. I know things aren’t right here for you, and it might be a lot to ask, picking up and starting over, but we want you to come with us.” He paused. “I – I want you to come be with me…”

His words hit harder when they came from him and suddenly, all the doors flew open – the windows too. Fresh air flowed up the back of your shirt and tickled the nape of your neck, even your toes curled at the opportunity – lifeline, Dean was giving you.

“With you?”

You had to know, wanted to hear the exact words from his mouth before anything could go further – this way it would make things easier. There was no way you were going to leave with the Winchesters without knowing where the two of you stood, if you were going to start fresh, you had to know.

Dean’s smile faded as he stepped closer to you, his hands moved from your waist to catch your hands at your side. He seemed nervous and that made you smile, and when he cleared his throat, your heart raced. This was it; he was the key and while you never wanted to rely on a single person for your happiness, you knew you deserved to be cherished. Deserved to have someone look at you from across the room and see their face light up when you smiled at them. Someone who held you before bed, took up most of the room and occasionally made breakfast in bed. A person who knew how to dot on their partner, who delighted in seeing them walk through the front door and ask them about their day – someone who wanted to touch you in every way. That’s what you deserved, you knew that much, and more than that, you knew you wanted Dean to be that person.

“Yeah, you, who else?” He laughed as if it was all so obvious and you reached up to smack his chest, but he caught your hand and gave it a soft kiss. “Come on, it’s always been you – you’re my girl.”

That was it, all that needed to be said – no worry about the apartment and figuring out the logistics of moving out or the bane of shared accounts and bills. Those minor inconveniences where just that – nothing to pain over and not worth staying behind for. He kissed you then, this time more eager and rougher, the tips of his thumbs spread across your cheeks and he murmured that he wanted you now, and that he couldn’t wait. You asked about Sam and he joked about putting a sock on the doorknob.

“No, it will be fine,” he whispered, pulling up your shirt over your head. “He knew as soon you came, that I would convince you to stay. He’ll be out for a while, we have time. Besides, you’re going to be living with us now, he’ll have to get used to the noise.”

You chuckled, eyes rolling he kissed you more. Hands rose to your chest and he touched the top of your chest, tongue moving against yours. The firmness in his jeans pressed against you and that’s when neither of you could take it. It took a few awkward maneuvers before the two of you were in bed – you on your back and Dean over you, nothing but a sheet covering your bodies. The awareness of your body naked against his heightened the excitement in your chest, his eyes roamed you up and down until landing back to your face. His eyes seemed to be glistening in adoration, and for the first time in such a long time, you felt seen, and when he pushed into you – you felt loved.

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #dean x reader #spn #spn imagine #supernatural #dean

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arcadequeerz · 5 years

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WS AU Henry, Human/prestudio WS Sammy, N WS AU Linda!

>Picrew<

-Lil Facts!-

Henry bi transman! his pronouns r he/him!

Sammy prestudio is in the closet, but they’re queer! Gender? Sexuality? They’re queer. Their pronouns r He/They/She Sammy is also Autistic!

Linda is Queer amab nonbinary!!! Her pronouns r she/her or they/them. Her n Henry get married a bit after his quite from the studio.

uUUH post studio after Henry n Sammy escape- they are together, n eventually Sammy, Henry n Linda r all together n In Love polyam rights!!!!!!!! Sammy gets: a lovely Husband and darling spouse who love them very much. She also feels safe enough, n trusts the two them enough to come out to them!!! They love her v mch.

-Prestudio Sam doens’t actually have the tail or ears its just relevant to the au, n also- is cute. d:>c They usually keep her hair up in a ponytail, n Linda does as well. Sammy’s 6′4, Henry’s 5′4 and Linda’s 5′10

>uuuuh rly shitty basic summary of the au<

(me n my friend Kit @apxlllo(who works on the au with me, and has written so mch Lovely stuff for the au) do plan to write up a proper post/more detailed summary on the au soon hopefully!, this is just a v basic barebones summary of the au I wrote up- A looot of stuff has been left out, this is just a gist of things! We also hav a doc for au stuff tht I hope to eventually try n get organized at Some point tht I’ll Post whenever its done)

To Sum things up in Short: Sammy after being killed by Bendy after having tried sacrificing Henry, comes back, crawling out of the ink puddles only to get captured by Alice/Susie. Their dragged back to her lair and once there she decides to make use of him, and starts to rip him open, pull his insides out and pull him apart to turn him into another of her monsters- She removes his insides, and starts to replace them with Butchered Boris guts, and she starts to notice how his body is reacting to it- absorbing the ink and she finds that Very interesting. When she’s finished with this- done Torturing him basically, prodding his insides and pulling them apart, she sews him back up before injecting some of her own ink into him, Which links the two of them which in turn means she can Control/Influence them in a sense. After this is done to him- He ends up transforming into a big Inky weremonster(Who I call Were-Sammy) for the first time, the process is..Extremely painful, and she watches it happen, smiling the entire time.

Oh he’s simply PERFECT, She can definitely use him to her advantage..he’d make a perfect monster for her. Initially though, His form is quite unstable, which causes him to erratically turn back and forth(which is very painful mind you-) so while she’s fine tuning him, working on her newest monster, Henry continues to be her lil errand boy.

Until, Sammy is finally acting like she wants.

She can force him to turn into his wereself whenever she wishes him to, and his first order is to kill that Animator running around HER studio- She sends him after Henry, fully expecting him to come back covered in his blood, or at least carrying his Corpse, but instead, he comes back, tail between his legs, having not been able to kill Henry(there’s more to this in the au but!), She’s quite mad at him for this. Forces him to turn back to himself, far faster then Normal, leaving him a melted mess on the floor as she shouts at him about how she wants Results- and if she doesn’t get them she might just have to pull him open again- he begs her not to, he can kill them- He swears, She just says she wants results, she wants him dead, and she wants it Now- Before he can react. She’s forcing him to turn again, And sets her monster off back on their goal to kill Henry.

She keeps sending him after Henry- But he keeps coming back empty handed every time which just enrages her more with each time, Making her lash out at him, He’ll turn back and she’ll immediately force him to turn again, and when their too weak for that, she lets him have a Little rest, which just consists of him locked in a single room, chained to a wall so he can’t escape, before she decides he’s rested enough, and walks into the room to drag him out to force him to turn again. In the beginning, Every time she’d open the door, he’d scream, beg her not to, struggle against her, kick and scream but after a while he just, Stopped trying. There was no reason to delay the inevitable. there was no stopping it. So he gave up Fighting it, or trying.

Eventually, At some point while Hunting Henry she turns back, and Henry finds them. He’s immediately concerned, He wants to help them, tries to approach him but he just screams at him to get the fuck away from him- to just leave him, to get Away from them- Because his wereself..Doesn’t really LIKE Henry all that much- because he’s the reason their ‘Angel’ is so cruel and awful to them- He manages to convince Henry to leave him, fighting back his wereself to keep himself from changing, which lets Henry get away as he finally can’t hold it back anymore. Henry runs away, as he hears Sammy’s screaming, the sound of bone breaking, and at that moment he realizes the new Monster Alice made is Sammy- He decides then he needs to save him, to get him away from Alice.

After that Henry has two goals, One: Save Sammy, and Two: Escape the studio with him. At some point Henry is able to get Sammy away from Alice- n then the two are working together/sticking together to get out of the studio, While dealing with the hassle of Sammy just, randomly turning into his wereself, and the problems with himself being a big Inky weremonster. Also in the process of this...The two get close, end up falling for each other, In the beginning of Sammy realizing he’s falling for Henry, he tries Desperately to convince himself he hasn’t, he doesn’t love him, and tries to lie to himself that he Doesn’t, There’s no happy endings here, he shouldn’t- but he can’t lie to himself, for the first time in so long, he has Hope, He feels hope because Henry assures him they’ll get out of here, that they’ll escape- Together- and truly, for the first time it feels so possible, Henry is so caring to him- he’s so kind to him- He can’t lie to himself that he hasn’t fallen for Henry, that he doesn’t Love him- even if he does try telling himself that in the beginning.

Henry feels the same, He loves Sammy so much and he’d do anything for him- he means the world to him, and he’s the reason he keeps fighting to get out, to get him out of there, to be free, as well as to see Linda again- but he fights for them both to get out of this inky hell, Together- he won’t leave without him.

The two become very close, become much more then just companions or friends, ending up together, and eventually they DO escape the studio: Together, and live with Linda at her and Henry’s home. After being there for a bit, Linda and Sammy grow close, end up falling in love, and all three of them are together and love one another very Much- Linda and Henry? Love their amazing inky wife so Much, and Sammy loves them too, he’s never felt so happy- and so Full of love as she does now with them- they mean the world to him and she is so thankful to have them in his life, and get to wake up every morning to them both.

BUT- YEAH! This is the gist of the au- i left out a lot of like specific Scenes in the au, like Before Sammy and Henry leave the studio- Susie/Alice is killed, that’s a big scene in the au- amongst stuff tht happens with Bendy once outside the studio- buuut YEAH- that’s the gist of the au HGDHHGSH Sorry if this is poorly written- or a mess, I do plan to work wqith kit to get a better post on the au up eventually, and plan on organizing the au doc to share soon! Eventually there will be drawings of the lads- Eventually, especially Inky Sammy- There are drawings of Were-Sam you can find on my blog though if you go looking. THOUGH- Here’s a description of Were-Sam,

Were-Sammy stands about 8, almost 9ft tall, His body is a dark black color that shifts between darker shades of black(this color shifting is quite slow usually, so it isn’t Too noticable), and is covered in melty, inky fur. The fur is soft, but Also melty n he has ink kiind of melting off of him. His hands are semi paw like with sharp claws and his feet are half melted paws. He has a long melty tail covered in melty black fur, the underside of the tails fur is longer/meltier. His ears are long, wide at the base and thinner towards the ends of them. He has long sharp canine like teeth. and his eyes are piecut, a glowy amberish red, and ink of the same color is constantly melting down from his eyes down his face. His inky fur is thicker/longer around his neck and down his back along his spine. Body wise? He’s muscular but also kiinda chubby. I’m not very good at describing body types so forgive me 😔.

n a lil bit on were-sammy specifically:

Were-Sammy is very affectionate to both Linda and Henry and love them both very much, he’s a big Lovable fool, jus a big Puby. Sometimes when Sammy turns, He’s just themselves, other times their far more wolf then herself. Were-sammy is very nice to them both- very lovable and very protective. He is...good sweet lad, and Linda and Henry lov their big Monster Husband so much. Were-sammy? Good boy. Also due to being a weremonster, Sammy does have his more monstery traits come out when he isn’t even in their wereform! Such as: Howling(both Linda and Henry find it great fun to howl to try and get Sammy to- They do not appreciate it), growling, whining, n at times acting Kiiind of like his wereself, one specific thing is: when Linda or Henry come home from being out- she gets SO HAPPY AND EXCITED TO SEE THEM- Immediately has to get up and rush over to the door to greet them and hug them- He’s very affectionate, and snuggly! He does have a ‘half’ form he will occasionally shift into, Which is pretty much him gaining his claws, sharper teeth and his ears n tail, as well as gettin Kinda fluffie(aka getting some of his fur, specifically going down his back- Soft), In his half form they tend to act more of their wereself at times- and are very excitable!!! jus...good puby..

#Were-Sammy AU #I am mch too nervous to put this in the fandom tag nbnfhngh bYUT HHH YEAH #This au means a l;ot to me. i hav sm fun babbling bout it with my friemd kit!!! he was n is a big help with workinb on the au with me! d:"D #he's the reason i asctuslly did more ewith thr au!!!! he's written tons oif lovely stuff for the au n he's made ws bendy #easily one of my fave au bendys(up there with ss bendy)#HHTHJRFHG D O LET ME KNow if u like the au............i weuld like to hear wht u giys think #MGHHGDG SHY BOUT sharing my au stuff HGBHFHGVG #ENJOY THO GMFMHDHG #I rly love ws au sammy- they mean sm to me now d:> i lov thm............#SORRY IF THIS POST IS. A MESS.

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dragons-bones · 5 years

Note

Hilda! :D

First Impression:

“Ooooohhhh I want that hair!” Also, super pretty, super badass, 10/10 would like to date.

Impression Now:

(With the caveat that I have not played the Stormblood MCH story, and I’m aware she appears in it.) Still want her hair, still super pretty, still super badass, still 10/10 would like to date. But also occupies a very important niche in the story: she’s our tie to the poor and downtrodden of Ishgard, and she gives absolutely zero fucks who she offends or about what she has to do to keep the people of the Brume safe. And when all of our other Ishgardian contacts and friends are nobles or the military, that’s so important, and I really hope that as Ishgard Restoration continues, we’ll get to see more of her and bop us on the head not to forget the little people. We need to see the little people more.

Favorite Moment:

An understated one (I’m also fond of those), but the one pictured above from the Grand Melee: Thancred’s going one-on-one with a cyclops, and Hilda just harrumphs and says, “Daft sod,” before shouting to the rest to get back on with it. I just burst out laughing. I imagine she probably thinks the Warriors of Light and their Scion friends are stark raving mad, but they’re a good sort at least.

Idea for a Story:

Hilda and the Squad go on a bar crawl of all of Ishgard’s most disreputable drinking establishments. Hilda knows everybody and is sharing all the best blackmail about the nobles none of them like. Rereha and Synnove have stars in their eyes because Hilda is so cool and this alcohol is terrible and they are going to have so many regrets in the morning but right now they’re having fun. Heron has accepted she’s going to die of alcohol poisoning tonight and hopes Uncle Edmont will be kind enough to ensure her funeral is closed casket. Alakhai made the mistake of drinking the Special Topshelf Moonshine at the last establishment, has lost her ability to speak anything except Xaelan and the Squad’s hand signs, and is braiding Hilda’s hair into ever more elaborate up-dos. They run into Lucia on their way to the fourth bar, convince her to join them, and Hilda and Lucia end up making out in the corner of the seventh dive.

Unpopular Opinion:

...Are there unpopular opinions to hold about her? o_O Unless it could be unpopular to ship her with Lucia? *shrug*

Favorite Relationship:

Her ties to the Brume. She’s their champion, and the people of the Brume love her, and it’s very clear she loves them back. This is kind of a “weird” relationship because it’s not a one-on-one thing we usually think of when it comes to relationships. Like, all of the Ishgardians love their home...but Hilda and her people really put a face on the city, I feel. There’s a reciprocity and equal amount of love between Hilda and the Brume; for all that Haurchefant and Aymeric and Edmont love Ishgard, the nobles and clergy don’t necessarily love them back. They like their comfortable lives and the status quo. But Hilda supports the Brume, and the Brume support Hilda, and together they’ll work to drag Ishgard to a better future (and maybe drag those nobles along with ‘em).

Favorite Headcanon:

Her trademark hairstyle is the one her mother constantly did for her growing up, and her long, sleek locks are her one nod to both nostalgia and vanity, when short hair would be easier to maintain and less of a liability in combat. (That she’s primarily a ranged combatant these days now helps a lot.)

#thegildenheart #dt answers things #meme stuff #final fantasy xiv #hilda ware #she's so smart and witty and cool and i love her!!!#PLEASE MORE HILDA SE

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frywen-babbles · 5 years

Text

Sounds of Silence pt1

A/N: Modern AU with Mitsunari! This is loosely tied to Everything comes with a price, set over a year after it. Unlike before, there won’t be a set release schedule bc this fic isn’t completely finished yet. (I just need some validation and motivation oTL). A big thank you to @dear-mrs-otome for telling me this idea doesn’t completely suck <3

Also spoilers for Mitsunari’s route!

When he opened the door all he could do was stare.

Behind it stood a young woman. And not just any young woman but the one he had seen at the library countless times reading books to kids in sign language. The woman he secretly always hoped he’d see when he went to the library, whose smile he couldn’t stop thinking about.

***

At first, Mitsunari was annoyed by the voices coming somewhere out of sight. Libraries were supposed to be where you could study in peace, he had no idea what could cause such a ruckus.

The sound of laughter guided him to the children’s section of the library, but what he saw wasn’t what he expected.

A young woman was standing in front of a group of kids, a book open in front of her, animatedly reading the book in sign language. The kids were excited, laughing and giggling at the what he assumed were the exciting parts of the story.

Mitsunari felt enamoured, his annoyance long forgotten. He didn’t even realise he had stared until the story was over and all the kids were circling her, trying to talk to her all at once. Her smile brightened her face and she looked so natural and happy amongst the kids Mitsunari felt almost jealous.

Just then, she caught him staring. He felt his face heat up and he turned around sharply, stomping back to the table he had reserved for himself. He planted his face firmly on the book open in front of him.

Gods, that was embarrassing. Who goes around staring random women, when they were supposed to study. Ughh…

*****

He saw her walk towards the children's section from the corner of his eye and somehow his head turned to look after her. She stopped to wait for a boy in his teens to bounce all excited to her a book in his hands. They shared a greeting but Mitsunari couldn't follow the signs they spoke with. It didn't stop him from staring after them when they continued on their way towards the room where he had seen her read to the kids.

"Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Mitsunari turned to look at Sakon who looked at him a wide smile on his face.

"Or are you too busy staring after women to tutor me?"

"If you have time to lazy around and comment on everything I do, you must be ready for a quiz about all the important battles post-Honno-ji?"

"Ack! No! Don't you have any mercy, we just went through them 30 minutes ago?"

"Then what are you doing fooling around, you incorrigible dimwit. Get back to studying."

"I'm sure no one would have made me work this hard in the Sengoku period..." Sakon mumbled with a sigh.

"What was that?"

"I'm studying!"

When he was finally free of Sakon, he made his way to the children's section. But it was quiet, the children long gone. He was just about to turn around when he noticed a schedule on the wall. She would be back in an hour.

He could wait for that long.

Wait, maybe he shouldn't? Would that be weird? But he really did want to see her read again.

He didn't see her until he got up to get some coffee from a vending machine. She was sitting on the sofas next to it with the same boy as before, lost in an animated discussion he could only guess the topic off.

A part of him wanted to loiter so he could watch them talk, but the reasonable part of his brain forced him to return to his table.

As soon as he saw her followed by the silver-haired boy he stuffed his things to his bag and stood up to follow her. A group of excited kids were already waiting for her but he stayed behind until everyone had sat down. Then he stepped behind the parents by the door, his eyes following the movements of her hands taking in every sign.

Unlike before, this time when she was finished she kept glancing at the clock and hurried away as soon as possible, almost colliding with him. The silver-haired boy tried to stop her but after some hurried signs let her go. The look on the boys face looked a bit like a lost puppy and for some reason seeing her hurry away like that made Mitsunari feel a bit same.

He was brushing his teeth in the evening when he felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket.

[23:12:45] <<bookshy>> do u evr feel like ur stuck in ur life? [23:12:52] <<bookshy>> like u shld hve accomplishd so much mor in ur life tn u hve?

He stared at the screen for a while before he typed a reply. He didn't know who bookshy was, not really. They had been talking with each other for years, but always with nicknames, always through messages in the internet. It felt more comfortable that way somehow. Knowing there was always a person willing to listen to you without judging.

[23:13:05] <<ManjuDreamer>> Are you feeling like that right now? [23:13:07] <<bookshy>> ya [23:13:11] <<bookshy>> i dunno wht ill do w/ my life [23:13:19] <<bookshy>> i thght id do so mch more u know? [23:13:22] <<bookshy>> and now i jst feel liek im stuck nd see no way out [23:13:23] <<bookshy>> is ths my life now? [23:14:50] <<bookshy>> evry1 says i shld b happy w/ wht i hve [23:14:59] <<bookshy>> i hve so much im feeling ungrateful whn i feel like ths [24:15:46] <<ManjuDreamer>> You still have plenty of time to accomplish your dreams. It's not for others to decide when you can be happy. [23:16:02] <<bookshy>> guess ur rite

He heard a knock on the bathroom door and quickly finished brushing his teeth. When he opened the door Hideyoshi was standing behind it already in his pyjamas.

"I thought you'd never come out," he commented with a yawn and pushed past him to the bathroom.

"Good night," Mitsunari wished to the closed door before he retreated back to his room.

[23:18:30] <<bookshy>> how was ur day [23:18:49] <<bookshy>> i saw the prettiest person today like hot damn [23:19:13] <<ManjuDreamer>> I saw an interesting person today too, I wish I get to see them again. Other than that, it was mostly my student being an idiot, so nothing new. [23:19:53] <<ManjuDreamer>> I tried to do some research on a paper I'm writing, but it didn't progress much. I was just about to go to bed so I have energy to study more tomorrow. [23:19:56] <<bookshy>> srry to keep u up [23:19:57] <<bookshy>> night! [23:20:10] <<ManjuDreamer>> Night.

***

Mitsunari tossed the wig from his head frustrated, running his hand over his face. He glanced at the mirror of the bathroom, at the perfectly drawn eyeliner, the perfect shade of blush, the perfectly applied foundation. The perfect set of lies, painted on his face.

[13:33:14] <<ManjuDreamer>> I went to see my mother.

He hesitated a bit before he sent the message. It didn't take long for his phone to bling with a reply.

[13:34:29] <<bookshy>> how did it go? [13:34:48] <<ManjuDreamer>> As well as you would expect. [13:34:51] <<bookshy>> u wanna t alk about it?

His fingers ghosted over the screen of his phone before he put it down and looked at the mirror again. He reached for the makeup removal wipes from his bag and scrubbed furiously at his skin until the last remains of the makeup were gone.

[13:36:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's there but I feel like I'm losing her. [13:37:01] <<ManjuDreamer>> Every time I visit she seems further and further away. [13:37:15]<<ManjuDreamer>> Sometimes I wonder if the mother I used to know is there at all.

He started to type his next message, but stopped, gripping his phone tight in his hand.

[13:38:34] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's my mother, but it's so hard. [13:38:42] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know what to do.

He glanced at the mirror to make sure his eyes weren't red before he pulled his shirt over his head and replaced it with one from his bag.

[13:38:47] <<bookshy>> ur doing plenty already [13:38:49] <<bookshy>> u dont have to push urself so hard [13:38:50] <<bookshy>> im sure shed understand [13:38:59] <<ManjuDreamer>> But I'm all she has. [13:39:02] <<bookshy>> i know [13:39:06] <<bookshy>> but u hhave 2 thnk abt urself frst [13:39:15] <<bookshy>> if u feel its too much u can keep a brek. ur not prfect. u dnt have 2 b [13:39:50] <<bookshy>> im alws hr 2 tlk if u need me [13:40:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> Thank you. It means a lot.

He put his phone on the side of the sink and wiggled out of his skirt. He really should buy a new one next time he got paid for tutoring. The zipper didn't work properly anymore and the hem was starting to fray. He kicked the flats from his feet and looked at the kneehigh socks on his feet. They wouldn't be visible under his pants anyway so he let them be and took his pants and shoes from his bag before showing the skirt and shirt in their place. He considered showing the wig in after them but realised making the wig presentable after that would be too much of a hassle. So he gently combed the wig with his fingers to sort out biggest tangles and folded it neatly in a mesh bag. Flats into a plastic bag, then into the bag.

Like countless times before.

He got dressed and made one final glance at the mirror before he put the bag on his shoulder and stepped out of the bathroom.

"Oh, Mitsunari! Here to see your mother?" a nurse greeted him when he tried to slip past the nurses' office without being noticed. What a nosy bunch of quidnuncs insistent of mothering him.

“Yes. I was just leaving.” He replied with a stiff bow.

“Come and have some tea with us! How did the test go you told me last time?” Another nurse poked her head from the office. Mitsunari resisted the urge to roll his eyes and offered another bow.

“I believe it went well. I still haven’t received the results.”

Half an hour later he was still stuck at the nurses' office surrounded by what felt like a flock of mother hens, all determined to squeeze every bit of information out of him they could. He was just getting up from his chair when a voice behind him froze him on the spot.

"Did my darling Saki leave already? She was just here... Such a dutiful daughter, coming to see her mother so often..."

His knuckles turned white as he squeezed the edge of the table, his head down. He wanted to turn around. He wanted to see his mother as himself. He wanted... needed to see if she'd recognise him this time.

"We saw her leave a while ago, Mrs Ishida. She's such a nice girl."

He heard a nurse walk his mother away and the sighs of relief from the remaining nurses.

"Are you alright, Mitsunari? You know we'll listen to you if you need to talk. Or we can help you find someone-"

"I need to go now. Goodbye," Mitsunari interrupted the nurse who had put her hand on his shoulder to calm him. He got up in such haste his chair fell to the floor with a rattle, but he just offered a quick bow before he fled the office.

He didn't stop until he arrived at the bus stop. There he sank on the bench, burying his face on his hands.

He took the bus to the library, staring idly out of the window.

[14:36:09] <<bookshy>> did u make it home [14:36:35] <<ManjuDreamer>> No. I'm heading to the library. The nurses got me again. [14:36:37] <<bookshy>> lol how did u mnage 2 escpe [18:36:56] <<ManjuDreamer>> Mother came to the office. [14:37:09] <<bookshy>> oh no [14:37:10] <<bookshy>> im so sorry [14:37:21] <<bookshy>> how r u feeling rn? [14:38:29] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know. I'll try to find some reading to distract myself with.

At the library, he searched for materials for his upcoming paper but when he sat down and tried to read, the words didn't make any sense.

When he had read the same page several times over and still remembered absolutely nothing he was interrupted from his reading by a book shoved on top of the one he was just reading.

"Can't you see I'm-!" the sharp words died on his lips when he saw the same woman who had read to the kids in front of him. She tapped on the note on top of the book and he looked down to read it.

'This is the book I was reading. You seemed interested'

She handed him a second book, a note on top of it too.

'I'll read this next'

When she shifted her weight from one foot to another clearly uncomfortable, he realised he was staring. He offered her a curt nod as a thank you and she bowed at him a small relieved smile on her lips. She seemed to hesitate before she signed something but he had to shake his head.

There was a slight shift on her smile, on her posture, and she took a step back.

'I'm sorry' she mouthed and offered him a bow before she all but fled, leaving him to sit alone, feeling like an idiot.

[16:19:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> I think I just made a complete fool out of myself. [16:29:59] <<bookshy>> lol rly? [16:30:00] <<bookshy>> wht did u do? [16:30:02] <<bookshy>> i thght fool wasnt in ur dicktionary [16:31:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> And for that terrible joke, I tell you nothing. [16:31:47] <<bookshy>> noooo hw wll i evr know how embarassng u can be if u don tell me? [16:32:32] <<ManjuDreamer>> You'll survive.

***

"She's not here today."

Mitsunari was startled from his thoughts by a familiar voice behind him. He turned around, vaguely aware of the frown his irritation had brought on his face.

"Who?" he asked as if he didn't know exactly who was the 'she' in question.

"I got this for you, I'm sure it holds some useful information." Mr Otani handed him a flyer for the children's activities in the local libraries. Mitsunari stared at the flyer blankly before he looked at Mr Otani, letting his irritation show.

"And what am I supposed to do with this?"

Mr Otani just smiled and pushed a book towards him as well.

"I'm sure you'll find this useful as well. Come find me if you need anything else."

Before he had time to protest Mr Otani left him with a wave, a wide smile on his face. He considered running or yelling after him, but changed his mind when he looked at the book in his hand.

'Sign language for beginners'

He tucked the children's program leaflet securely at the back of his calendar and checked the book out.

Something about the sign language intrigued him. She looked so graceful when signing. And so comfortable and she seemed genuinely love reading to the children.

At first, he thought he’d look up a few signs. Just in case some of the children needed help in the library. Just so he could talk to her. No, he meant the kids. So he could talk to the kids. But few turned into a few hundred. A few thousand. He was so lost.

***

#slbp #slbp fanfic #ishida mitsunari #toyotomi hideyoshi #voltage fanfic #frywen writes #sounds of silence fic

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