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gothic-thoughts · 1 year ago

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Heartbeat

(Zoro he don't mean nothing to me baby, I promise)

Sanji Vinsmoke x Black Fem Reader Smut

MDNI, Pirate!Reader

CW: Reader's fed up wit Sanji's flirty self, Reader's on top, she/her pronouns, afab parts mentioned, hate fucking, riding, edging, vulgar words(he's a whore🙄), damn near porn w/o plot

Word Count: 1070 (give or take)

"Heh, s-so territorial. Ungh, sugar~"

Sanji let out shallow pants as I slowly lift myself up and down his sensitive shaft. He slowly bucked his hips up against my pelvis, desperately looking for more friction, earning another harsh slap to his thigh. The blonde Frenchman tugged at the ties that kept his wrists connected to the wooden poles of his headboard.

"Knew I’d probably get a rise out of you but, ngh, didn't think you'd go this far."

"Shut up." I groan, clenching around him, "You know what you did."

"Yeah, I do, so you can...ngh, st-stop now."

"Do you?" I stop moving, "Has it finally sunken into that thick skull of yours?"

He pants heavily before chuckling "You're mad at me because I'm too charming. But isn't that why you--shiiit."

I clench around him, "You know what you did."

My arousal dripped down his sensitive shaft as I bounced on it with soft moans in his ear. His hips bucked as he struggled and panted, trying to keep it together but soft moans still came out anyway. I abruptly stop bouncing and look at his blissed-out face, as he starts gasping again.

"(Y/n), s'il vous plaît. Just..." Sanji gulps, "Just let me c-cum, please. I'm fucking begging you."

"And I'm not fucking listening. I told you not to hang out with her again."

"She asked me to help her move something! Y-you can't be completely mad!"

"I am. You think I don't know how often you hang out with Nami's sister?"

"And nothing happens but harmless flirting, baby. Nothin' serious."

"Nigga, I don't want you flirting at all. I told you I don't like that shit."

I purposely squeeze around his incredibly hard cock making his head hang forward as another moan falls from his wet lips. He looked up at me with a dizzy smile and giggles, so I cupped his chin and focused his gaze on mine.

"Somethin' funny?"

"Oh, nothing~"

"We can go at this for another 20 minutes if you want."

He chuckles darkly, "You...you little minx."

"Then what's funny?"

"You just look so pretty when you're mad, t's making me so fucking hard."

"And yo ass gon stay hard. I’m not letting you cum and if you do, not inside."

His eyebrows raise, eyes widening. "What? No, no, no baby."

"I said what I said."

"You don't mean that, y-you like it too much."

"Try me." I growl.

"I apologized like a hundred times already, mon amour!"

"No, actually, you teased me about being jealous and tried to get free this whole time."

“Ugh, you little...." He trails off into an evil giggle, "This won't hold me forever.”

"Sure it will. And even if it can't, it's gon hold you long enough until you're so drained, you can't get me back."

"Eventually I'm gonna lose it, sugar girl; just you wait. You can take me for now but when it’s my turn, you're gonna get it, femme."

I lean into his face, squinting. "Is that so?"

"I’ll fuck you senseless and turn you into a sobbing mess. Both you and this perfect fucking--oh fuck, unngh~"

I grind down on him, smirking when Sanji's hips stutter. I grab his shoulders, position my legs into a crouching position, and plunge, hearing moans fall from his pretty, swollen lips as he tries to finish his sentence. The chef's back arches, hand gripping the headboard.

“Merde, ngh mon dieu. Keep going, don't you f-uckin' st--mm~!”

"That feels good, blondie?"

"Hah, yes baby. Just let me cum, douceur (sweetness), please. I'm getting close, I can't anymore."

Sanji tugs on restraints while his thighs shook and tensed under me. His hips bucked up into me as I slammed myself on him, making us both moan out and toss our heads back. I try to bounce harder but once I notice he's enjoying it too much, I stop my hips, panting just as hard as he was.

"N-no." His panting fades into an evil chuckle, "Non, je ne pense pas. (no, I don't think so)."

"Oh m'god, S'nji~"

He tugs hard on the restraints, ripping his hands free and breaking the small wooden poles in the headboard. I gasp as he sits up, flipping me to my back as he pins my wrists above my head and thrusts at a fast and hard rhythm. He grips my ass and pulls me into him, coaxing himself deeper into my squeezing pussy, dipping his face into my neck, sucking hickeys and bites marks into it. I gasp and moan in his ear at the sudden rough pace as he completely takes over.

"You're not going anywhere." He pants, essentially growling desperately into my neck, "Feels so fuckin' good."

"B-baby, chill, mmh my god!"

"Pas encore (not yet). I didn't get you back for that little, half-hour tantrum you made me sit through."

"M-maybe if you stop eye-fucking Nami's sister, w-wouldn't have a f'ckin' attittude."

"You act like I'd fuck her. You know I can't help but compliment a beautiful woman, doesn't mean I'm not with most beautiful one dans le monde (in the world)."

"J-jus....deeper~"

He chuckles, "Sorry but you're gonna have to beg me now. What's my name, mon cherie?"

"Deeper, baby, please~!"

"That's not it."

"Sanji!"

"Encore une fois. One more time, and I'll give you what you want."

"G'deeper, please, I'm so close."

"I said--"

"Fine, maybe I sh-should I jus' flirt wit Zoro...."

His hips stutter at my words and I instantly regret them as he puts my legs over his shoulders, grip my wrists tighter as he starts pounding into me, now fueled by rage. His hips speed up slapping against mine with every thrust, the amount of force making the bed clash against the wall.

"You think you're funny? Huh? I may be a flirt but that moss-headed brute is where I draw the fucking line."

Each drag of his cock in and out of my insides makes my eyes roll back into my skull, the wet squelching echoing in the room getting louder as I cum hard. I grip the sheets, my eyes roll back and my legs tremble near his ears while my pussy spasms around him. He groans, slowing down only to draw away his orgasm before speeding up again.

"Who you cumming for, huh? Is it mosshead, cuz I don't think so. Tell me who's driving you insane."

I couldn't even respond with the way he was drilling into me with every word. He knew I couldn't do anything but gasp and groan when he reached deep and drags along my spot. I feel my juices roll down my ass and make the sound of his hefty balls quickly slapping on me louder.

"Speak, sugar; talk to me. Tell me who's making a mess outta you."

"Y-you, you; you baby, you are~! Don't stop, f-uck!"

“Mmh, b-baby~ You think I want her like this? She may be pretty but you know my cock only goes inside you. You're the only one that can take me so easily, sweet girl."

"B-baby, I can't!"

"S-sure...you...can, ngh. Now forgive me, dammit."

"I f'give you, I forgive you! I'm s'rry!"

"G-good. So....cum....again..."

I scratch at the blankets and yell his name making the grip on my waist tighten as he moans my name into the lip he was biting. I run my fingers through his hair and he can't help but let out a softer moan, his forehead coming down to rest on my collarbone as he practically melts at the affection.

His pace stuttered but he continued to massage himself with my tight walls while grasping at my hips desperately. Sanji suddenly pulled them to his pelvis with a moan as thick cum sprayed insides while I squeeze around him. We were both panting, words caught in our throats as he slowly pulls out with a tired smile. His body gives out and collapses onto mine with soft pants and broken breaths.

"Are we...done n-now?"

"No more flirting."

"I don't know....if this is how you act, I have to think about it."

#Spotify #sanji x reader #sanji x black reader #sanji vinsmoke x reader #black fem reader #black reader #black writers #x black reader #sanji opla #opla sanji #opla sanji x reader #opla sanji smut #sanji smut #sanji vinsmoke smut #x black fem reader #sanji opla x reader

399 notes · View notes

gayspock · 2 years ago

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goodness gracious

okay so set the scene im eating fruit and yoggy and granola with an iced coffee. just so youre aware. its 9am. i had a BIGGGG LIE IN bc i dont have work today (bank holiday) so smile

although in truth i wanted to go for my run & watch it as is tradition but it turns on the gym IS closed today booooo

tom will honestly suck the bigest dick in the room its so true

kendall being like "stewy dont hide from me" is seriously like half this website for the past few years. come out stewy. come out to see us. come on? kiss?

ROMAN HAVING AN ABSOLUTE MENTY B and just going to rot at his mams. so real for that. im sorry his MUMS. (booo)

"new jess" YOU SICK FUCK

ishould be saying more on this but im kinda jsut watching i know

do you know whats great. no matter who "comesout on top". we will always get a she-eo ceo <3

cunt i

cunt is

cunt does

fantastic....

its. horrfying to watch this bc i know shiv does not come out on top. of course she fucking doesnt. this isnt how it ends.

"i wanna fuck her a little bit" panning over to those sad wet bloodhound eyes of tom's

HELP

LUKAS THE FUNNIEST SEGUE

LUKAS SERIOUSLY WILL FUCK YOU BOTH I THINK . IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

"we're going to be okay, greg" good heavens

GREG OPENING GOOGLE TRANSLARTE IS SO FUNNY

romans little grunt about that comment on his nuts. fantastic

something fucking tragic as well about tom being chosen bc lukas doesnt want a partnership, he doesnt want ideas, and shivs too full of them when

"he said them to me first" SO. BIG BROTHER.

HE DOESNT WANT IT. ROME NOT WANTING IT. so. real..........

kendall just diving into the water after going back to the pursuit kendall floating on the water kendall drowning in the water with a dead kid ken almost killing himself in the FUCKING WATER

THEIRI MPRESSIONS OF HIM AWWW

HES NOT GOING TO BE CEO I KNOW HE WONT BE BUT GOD FOR A SECOND HERE YOU COULD IMAGINE IT AS A GOOD THING EVEN WHEN IF HE UCKIN DID ITD BE HORRIBLE

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS ITS HORRIBLE

oh god this scene is fucking . help. eyes watering emoji. sniffling sound.

PETER DONT BE SO BITCHY

OF COURSEEEE WILLA WANTS THE COW PRINT COUCH. SO REAL

SHUT UP WHY ARE THEY .. theres so many nice uufcking. i feel ill. i do feel ill . STOP IT.

DONT CUT TO FUCKING GREG RIGHT NOW THATS INSANE

tom you absolute bitch

theres something about toms timbre when he feigns surpris-

"its you" the fucking venom in her voice

IM REEEEELINGGGGGGG

EXACTLY. HE WENT FOR THE EMPTY SUIT SHIV. AND THATS THE MOST TWISTED PART OF IT. SHIV WOULD ALWAYS HAVE BEEN SEEN AS THE EMPTY SUIT AS A WOMAN BU-

OHHH M GOD HER BITCH WALK COME ON FUCKING

THE MUSIC

GOOD HEAVENS

IM HAVING GOOSE BUMPS

YOU ARE NOT CUTTING FROM SHIVS FUCKING DRAMATIC LITTLE MOMENT TO FUCKING TOMGREG IN THE BATHROOM

YOU FUCKING PRICK-

HIT

GIRLS . ladies . HEY

FIGT

FIGHT

FIGH

PUNCH HIM IN THE CUNT

CAROLINE SNAKINGGGGGG HISS GIRL HISS FOR ME

hi stewyyyyy giggle

cutting to shiv making eyhes at this exchange happening in front of her like uh huhhorrific

ROMAN

imliterally soryr fuck roman i know so earlier it was like fuck roman but ugh yeah fine hes

whatEVER

do any other LOSERS RELATER DO ANY OTHER LOSERS WHO KNEW THEY NEVER HAD A CHANCE RELATE ANY OTHER LOSERS RELATE, DOES THE "IT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU" BURN MORE THAN THE LOSS ITSELF MAYBE anyway

we need compilations of shiv power walking

the fucking parallels of fucking

OF WHEN LOGAN WAS FUCKING PRESSURRING THEM ALL IN THAT ROOM AND NOW KEN DOING IT NOW YOU BETTER BE SMELLNG YOUR ARMPIT ROMULUS VS THATS FUCKING RIGHT

hi shiv

shiv

I DONT THINK YOU WOULD BE GOOD AT TH

for fucks sake s

shiv get his ass

thats so

THIS FUCKING SHIT LIKE I MIGHT DIE KENDALL HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT AS THE PROBLEM KENDALL- HE KILLED SOMEONE GOOD HEAVENS

THATS NOT AN ISSUE IS ANYONE CRAZY

what is worse. killing a kid or lying about killing a kid

SHIV JUST BEING LIKE No................. I LVOE YOU B UT I CANT SOTMACH YOU IS ANYONE FUCKING

THEM HEARING THIS ALL

IM THE ELDEST BOY

IS ANYONE

YOURE NOT

CONNOR IS

holy shit

YOU FUCKING C

GHOLY SHIT

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

GUYS

GUYS CAN YOU ALL BE SERIOUS

THIS IS ALWAYS HOW IT WAS GOING TO FUCKING END YOU FUCKING

I FEEL SICK IN THE HEAD

KENDALL

KENDALL WE NEED TO PRACTICE MINDFULNESS NOW

KENDALL

ME WHEN I BURN EVERYTHING ME WHEN I GIVE EVERY PIECE OF MYSELF TO MY BIRTHRIGHT WHEN IM NOT EVEN GOOOD AT IT AND MY SISTER SAYS SO OOOPSIES

WE'RE NOTHINGGGGGGGGGG

i love it when little men get angry. like ahhh! x3 so ferocious. awww. yap yap yap

EVERYONE WHO JUST FUCKING HEARD AL OF THAT IN THE FUCKING OTHER ROOM. KEN. ITS DONE.

ken dont fucking kill uyourself now

ken

we need to be normal right now

TOM ON TOP IS PERHAPS THE MOST NANUSEATIGNG. MY GOD.....

WHY ARE WE GETTING KRANK KONTENT

WHERES KAROLINA. HEAVENS.

GREG BARELY GETTING A FUCKING HANDSHAKE

THEYRE DEAD. KRANK ARE DEAD. OLD CUNTS.

you fucked it man you fucked it man you fucking piece of shit help-H WHY DID YOU JUST FUCKING STIKC TH

OH I FEEL A LITTLE UNWELL . CAN YOU TWO CUT IT OUT FOR 10 FUCKING SECONDS.

OH GOD ITS ENDING NOW ISNT IT

OH GOD

this shit reeks

kendall

KENDALL

GET AWAY FROM THE FUCKING WATER KENDALL

DONT KENDALL YOURSELF YOURE SO SEXY

does anyone else feel fucking unwell i think im gonna sob

#Egg.txt #succession liveblog

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phantomphangphucker · 6 years ago

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A Bottle Of Rum Named Chuckles - Phic Phight

Prompt Creator: @bibliophileap Prompt: A sibling is genuinely disconcerted by another sibling’s laughter. Summary: The Fenton parents are out of town so Danny gets his drink on, but he's a laughing drunk and Jazz comes home from university a little too early.

Warnings: Drinking, alcohol, unintentional self-harm, broken bones, impaling, blood, one instance of vore, Danny is very drunk

also on my AO3 at GothMoth.

Danny glides smoothly down the steps, today’s a day with the house to himself. Jazz? Off at college. Mom and dad? 4-day convention. Sam and Tucker? Well, they’re not really friends anymore. So today’s a day to himself, a rare one at that. So as Danny saunters over to the fridge he sticks his hand straight through the floor pulling out a bottle of rum. Spinning the bottle in one hand as he opens up the fridge and grabs some milk. Placing the bottle on the table, Danny turns around and goes to make himself some cereal, but is suddenly struck by an idea. Spinning back around, bowl of dry cereal in hand, Danny cracks open the rum and pours it into the bowl. “Hey if cheesepuff bacon smoothies are great, this ought to be better.”.

Halfway through his cereal he’s finding it hard to keep eating through his giggling. “It’s just” chuckle “god so” chuckle “like look at the fuck rocks man” chuckle. Rum cereal abandoned, Danny wanders the yard pointing at random rocks and wobblingly arranging them in poorly laid out constellations. Laughing and grinning he flops on the grass surrounded by his rock stars.

Eventually, the hot sun forces him inside as he opts to play some games. Not being bothered enough to move them from his room, he plays up there instead. He doesn’t really play Doom anymore, he’s more into single player stuff now. He does however, take the bottle of rum with him. After a few hours, Danny is solidly fucked up, so much so that he doesn’t hear his sister coming home early. She does however, hear some creepy ass giggling ringing throughout the house. “Christ did someone stuff one of those broken demon Elmo dolls into the walls or something?”. Jazz moves around methodically trying to find the sound just as Danny burst out into another fit of laughs and giggles. He managed to get a famous glitch in his game, one where the characters limbs and head fly and stretch out all over the screen. In his laughter Danny accidentally crushes the rum bottle against his chest, splashing the little remaining rum and glass all over himself. “Aw man....” Danny goes to stand but immediately pitches forwards slamming face first into his wall. Laughing even more erratically, cause he can see himself in the door mirror, Danny just slowly slides down to the floor. Laying in a heap of limbs and laughs.

Jazz meanwhile is standing awkwardly on the other side of his door, somewhat in shock. At first, she thought there was some weird new ghost after Danny but after listening close, “the ghost in you sure shows in funny ways” Jazz mutters quietly. With a soft though unnerved smile on her face Jazz goes back downstairs, looking to make herself some toast but promptly notices the milk jug and very disgusting looking half-eaten cereal. “What the hell was that made with?” She grumbles at the offending cereal, well aware of Danny’s strange taste, as she puts the milk away. “I wonder if his ghost half has anything to do with his tastes” she taps her finger on her chin and shudders, as yet more booming laughter erupts from upstairs. She elects to smell the cereal for clues rather than taste it, cause Plasmius knows what’s in there. Jerking back she realizes that whatever it is, it’s definitely alcoholic. “Where’d you even get that little brother and why” she shakes her head as she goes up to confront Danny. Whom she’s now certain is laughing so much because he’s drunk. And she’s totally right on that part.

Meanwhile, Danny has been intentionally flinging himself around his room, trying to land it the most awkward and absurd positions possible. He’s so utterly plastered that he never even notices all the glass from the rum bottle embedded in his chest, making him bleed profusely. Him flinging himself around isn’t helping either. And his future self will not thank him later for the massive amounts of blood smears everywhere. Not to mention all the knock over things and glass. Eventually, he winds up leaning against the mirror on his door making faces at it and smearing his face around. Resulting in many muffled giggles.

Jazz, standing in front of Danny’s door can actually smell the alcohol through the door now. Scratching her nose she swings the door open, catching Danny totally unprepared as he staggers backwards; straight out the window. Running over to the window she looks down and sees Danny laughing his ass off on the ground covered in blood and glass. She physically shivers from the combination of Danny’s demonic ass laughter and the visuals.

Jazz bolts all the way down the steps and outside, running up to Danny who’s now standing up and wobbling all over the place. Seeing Jazz he shouts “is afff uckin airy! Whooooo!” Throwing his hands up in the air, Jazz runs over and hooks an arm under his right armpit. “Danny what the hell, let’s get you inside before anyone sees” Danny lightly giggles “leds meh to dis lits airy”. Jazz practically has to drag Danny into the house as he flips between muttering about fairies, or “ariy” as he’s calling them, and laughing. Effectively, slowly unnerving Jazz more and more; as well as making her unimpressed with his drunken state. Jazz sets him down at the table and points at the half-eaten rum cereal. “Just how much have you had Danny?” She asks in an unimpressed tone but she’s to creeped out to sound threatening. The only response she gets from Danny is “Is callied it Chuckles” then he sticks his hands out spreading them apparent vertically to about the high of his rum bottle. Jazz isn’t quite sure what he means for a second but then pinches the bridge of her nose. “Christ Danny, and what was it exact-” Jazz gets cut off by the sight of Danny pulling somebody horror shit, spreading his mouth inhumanly wide and straight voreing the entire bowl whole. Rum, cereal, spoon, bowl and all. Jazz having never bared witness to his body horror crap nearly vomits, which causes Danny to go into another fit of laughter. She sickly looks over the counter at him as he laughs himself so hard he falls off the stool. “Ok, now your creepy laugh is also pissing me off. I’m creep out, disgusted, disturbed and angry all at once.” Jazz shakes herself off and tries to push away the lingering shivers Danny’s laugh sends across her skin.

Danny starts crawling forwards on the floor but Jazz rushes over and sits him up on his knees. “Don’t do that” she scolds “you’ll rip yourself up more and-” looking down at the floor “-dear god... make more of a mess”. Turning her head away from Danny, arms still on his shoulders, she mutters “how the hell am I going to clean this up”. Danny chuckles slurring “clench ‘n exbird outwash fix erry”. Jazz just stares at him, “ok, I got bleach but the rest is lost on me”. Danny just shouts “exbird outwash!”. “Danny, what even is that?” Jazz sighs exasperatedly, as Danny starts making gargling sounds but then chokes on his spit. Resulting in yet more laughter. “Einstein, lend me your strength” Jazz groans as she jerks away from the sound of Danny’s laugh.

Eventually, she manages to get Danny sitting upright. Slowly pulling out shards of glass, though Danny is not making that easy. Danny’s rolling his head all over the place, occasionally flailing his arms around, and talking mostly gibberish, interspaced with giggles and laughter. “Danny, I will tail you for a week and throw psychology terms at you, if you ever even consider getting wasted around people who don’t know about this ghost shit.”. Finishing her threat with flawless timing as Danny straight up phases through the floor. Jazz, sighing, gets up to walk down to the lab. Looking around she fails to see him till she hears his wild creepy giggles coming from the ceiling. Looking up she sees Danny dangling with one foot still stuck in the ceiling. “Imma uckin chandii!”. Sighing “ yes Danny you are definitely a chandelier, for sure, 100%”. Danny just shouts “yay!” As he swings his hands up towards the ceiling smashing them so hard Jazz hears cracking and Danny, with a chunk of the ceiling, crashes to the ground. She stares at Danny and mutters “you could kill a many without a second thought and I don’t even think you’d notice the impact...”. Just as Danny rights himself, smashing apart the other bits of ceiling. Which suddenly brings Danny’s fingers into view. “Oh my god Danny, you freaking broke your fingers”. Deciding she’s had enough, Jazz digs through the lab until she finds what she’s looking for. An Ecto-shield blanket, “mom and dad say it’s for keeping out mosquito ghost but it should make a fine Danny burrito”. Jazz walks up behind Danny and quickly wraps the blanket around him. Danny just squirms, falls to his side and starts flopping about like a fish. Sighing Jazz grabs the Fenton fisher anti-ghost fishing line. Line in hand she picks up Danny and walks up to his bedroom. “You need to eat more Danny, and real food not junk food. My textbooks weigh more than you.”. Once in Danny’s room, she ties him to his bed headrest with the ecto-line. Danny naws at it while giggling and making exaggerated chewing and biting sounds.

Jazz attempts to study while she watches her brother and waits for him to sober up. But it’s difficult with all the usual sounds, gibberish and increasingly disturbing laughter. “God, it’s like it gets more and more unnerving the more you hear it”. She mutters into her book, trying her damnest to focus without completely ignoring her inebriated brother. Eventually, she gives up on that endeavour and elects to inspect the glass she’s managed to get out of Danny’s chest. Fully expecting it to be window glass, she’s shocked to find it's from a bottle. Sticking a few pieces together she realizes it’s from a bottle of rum, high proof rum at that. “Danny what the hell?! How did you even get this! Mom and dad don’t even like rum!”. The only response she gets out of Danny is more giggling. “And how long has this glass even been in your chest! Did you drink the whole thing!” Danny giggles enthusiastically which Jazz takes as a yes. “Danny! That would kill a full grown man!”. This time she actually gets a response out of the drunken lad “Tis tooo lats, ta jib allreds don.”. Jazz groans leaning back in her chair, “even wasted enough to kill a normal person you still make death jokes”.

Things continue on like this for a while till Danny eventually starts to slightly sober up. Which takes an impressive, and scary to Jazz, single hour. “Wyys my handz harts” Rolling his head around “and wyts wit blankie?”. Jazz snorts as she walks over to him, “little bro, you smashed your hands into the ceiling”. Looking up at her, his head limp, “wyys i dos dat?”. Shaking her head, “I really don’t know Danny but it might have something to do with thinking you were a chandelier.”. Danny just looks more confused now, but Jazz, noting his limpness unties him from the headrest and lays him down in bed. “I think you best just sleep, little brother and please, no more laughing”. Danny just tiredly sticks his tongue out at her. Jazz falls asleep herself, knees folded on the ground with her head resting on Danny’s bed.

—Next Morning—

Danny wakes up to a whole lotta pain. “What the...” He trails off as he pushes his blanket off himself, yanking his hands back hissing. “Fuck me” Danny mutters as he looks at his hands, nearly every bone is broken or chipped and his advanced healing has only fucked his fingers up more. Healing them incorrectly in almost every way, “how did I even? and how am I supposed to fix this?”. Then looking down at his chest he groans “seriously? Did I get into a boxing match with a bunch of mirrors or something”. Swinging his legs out of bed he walks to his mirror. He’s peppered in bruises, some that are extremely weird. He has bits of drywall in his hair as well. Shaking his hair out he turns to take in his room and just stares. Half his shit is on the floor or on the opposite side of the room than where it started. Blood is smeared almost everywhere, bits of glass are stabbed in the walls, his window is destroyed and there’s both ecto-line and an ecto-shield blanket on the floor. “Yeah I’m just not going to deal with this now, or possibly ever” Danny mutters as he opens his door with his mouth, keeping his hands up around his chest not quite touching though. As he descends the stairs he’s already thinking of ways to easily just hide the mess but once he reaches the living room his mind blanks. “Oh fuck” he breathes out, seeing a long blood streak on the floor, some glass and bigger bits of drywall.

Danny stares down at his hands, and that’s how Jazz finds him when she steps out of the kitchen. Mop in hand Jazz watches Danny as he stares at his hands muttering to himself, looking horrified. Danny slowly lifts his head up and just mutters at Jazz “what the fuck”.

Inside his head, Danny is just screaming over and over again, because she should not be here and there’s a massive really bad looking mess and he was completely wasted and -. Jazz cuts off his thoughts as she answers him “I don’t really know Danny, you were so messed up I could barely understand anything you said. You called me an “airy”, ate an entire bowl whole, punched a hole in the ceiling while pretending to be a chandelier I think, flung yourself out your window, and I think you stabbed yourself with a bottle of rum.”. Danny just stares at her, his mouth hanging open, so Jazz elects to continue “you were already covered in blood and glass when I got here and there was a bowl of cereal mixed with, what I assumed was, rum. Seriously Danny what the hell and where did you get rum?”. Danny just mutters “uhhhh from the floor”. Jazz crosses her arms “Danny, that makes about as much sense as whatever-” clearing her throat to attempt the make the freakish sounds Danny made “-exbird outwash fix erry” is.”. Danny shakes his head “Wow, sounds like I had fun”. At Jazz’s highly unimpressed face, Danny goes to run a hand across the back of his neck but winces instead. Eyeing Jazz again, he goes for a more serious response. “I guess I’d need context for those, uh, words? And I literally got it from the floor. The bottle was inside the floor.” Danny looks away sheepishly. “You mean to tell me you hid booze in the floor?” Arms crossed stiffly. “Heh, yeah” Danny shrugs “wasn’t really expecting anyone home so soon.”. He finishes. “Clearly, if that had been anyone who didn’t know about you, you’d be in massive trouble. I’m pretty sure you drank the entire thing, which should have been deadly. That combined with everything else...” Jazz trails off as Danny waves a mutilated hand at her “ya ya I get it, I’m lucky it was you”. Jazz sighs grabbing her mop again, “I would tell to help but I know your injured, are your hands going to heal fine?” She asks laced with genuine concern as she starts mopping the blood streaked on the floor. “Well, first you might want some of my hidden mouth wash”. Jazz stares at him “ok what?...is that what you said earlier?!”. Danny shrugs “maybe, expired mouth wash is pretty good as a cleaner”. Danny jumps up through the ceiling startling Jazz, he returns the same way. Flicking a bottle of mouth wash at her, that he was previously held by the cap in his mouth. Jazz, mixing it on the floor, “oh wow that’s just plain weird and I don’t even want to know how you discovered this”. “Yup” Danny says curtly as he looks around for any other damage. “So, your hands?” Danny snaps his head back to her, “Uhh well I’ll have to re-break, like, everything and place it all back the way it’s supposed to be but it should be fine, I think.” Danny says awkwardly. “Danny, Christ, how are you even ok with doing that, none the less how are you going to do it with both hands messed up?” Jazz glares at him, still mopping. Shrugging “uh painfully?”. “Oh my god, Danny.”

Danny sidestepping her gets a bowl, cereal and milk all out with a combination of footwork and his mouth; Jazz watching him all the while as she mops. “That better actually be milk and I’m rather concerned by how good you are at that”. Sitting on the table top Danny pours the milk with his toes. “You’re going to be pissed if I tell you “practice” aren’t you?” Glaring at him as he sits down with his cereal, eating by scooping his tongue around. “Of course, you shouldn’t have a reason to be used to it.”. Danny grunting, “well I do, resident superhero ghost boy here”. Jazz chuckles lightly, which reminds her of something, “hey Danny, has anyone ever told you your laugh is extremely creepy and unnerving?”. Danny coughs on a couple of frootloops, “What? No, why?” Chuckling again Jazz shakes her head “you were laughing, giggling and chuckling like your life depended on it. Genuine laughter too, but for whatever reason, it was spine chilling.” Pausing to look at Danny “you sounded like a demonic broken Elmo doll”. At that Danny chuckles deeply a bit “seriously?”. “Yeah, you even laughed as I tried to fix your wounds and you laughed really hard when you fell out your window and crash into the yard.” Danny chuckling again, Jazz noting that it actually is still slightly creepy but nothing close to before. “Wow that’s got to say something about me, don’t go analyzing me though.”. Rolling her eyes “I’m more focused on fixing your mess Danny, the lab is literally missing a third of its ceiling and I had to tie you to your own bed.”. Danny goes wide-eyed laughing, “so that's why there’s ecto-line on the floor.”. Jazz just shakes her head as Danny continues more seriously “was my laugh all creepy just now?”. Jazz pauses “slightly I guess but nothing like last night. It was like the more you laughed the more completely disturbed I felt. Now your laugh just has the same slight offness it usually does.” Danny looks incredulously at her. Noticing she sighs and stands up, one hand in her hip “Danny, basically everything about you is slightly off or creepy. But it’s so minimal you really have to pay attention to notice at all. And paying attention to you is my sisterly duty.”. Danny rolls his eyes but visibly relaxes some, “geez thanks.”. Jazz sighs as she heads down to the lab to collect the ceiling debris. On her way coming back up she hears cracking sounds. “Hey, Danny what are you doing?”. The cracking stops “uh, fixing my fingers”. Jazz just sighs.

End.

#phic phight #fanfic #phanphic #Danny Phantom #phandom #drinking #alcohol #unintentional self-harm #broken bones #impaling #blood #one instance of vore #danny is drunk #jazz fenton #danny fenton #phantomphangphucker #have a fic suck my dick #team human

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blazeeblake · 7 years ago

Text

Dean Hiccup Ficlet

Inspired by this post, reposting for @profoundnet “St–Hic! Stop it Sam!” Dean warned, gritting his teeth as he guided the Impala back into the bunker’s garage.

“I’m sorry man,” Sam chuckled, “It’s just– I mean, if you could’ve heard yourself back there…” Sam shook his head, words tapering into worsening laughter.

“ Well I–HIC!–” Dean grumbled in between sharp intakes of breath far squeakier than he appreciated, “I said stop. No mo–hic!–re giggling, S–hic!–mantha.”

“Don’t–Hic! Even try it–Hic!–Twilight!” his brother imitated, “You’re–HIC!– as good as–” Dean didn’t stay to hear the rest, quickly cutting off the engine, sliding out of the car, and stalking off toward the kitchen. They had been at the tail end of clearing out a small nest just a few cities over when the hiccups had started, had refused to let up even through the last decapitation. Sam, of course had been properly sympathetic and not at all a tittering shit the entire ride back home.

“Neh–hic! Never get hic–HIC!–ups,” he muttered to himself, snatching up a glass from the nearest cabinet to fill with water “Of all the fuh–hic!–uckin’ stupid–”

“Dean?” an unmistakable voice called from behind him. Dean cleared his throat and turned to face Castiel, whose studying expression was just a touch more concerned than usual. He had reluctantly stayed behind after it had been unanimously decided that leaving even a recovering Gabriel alone with Jack would be a disaster, and he was likely curious about how the hunt had gone in his absence. Dean wanted to reassure him, to tell him it had all worked out fine, but that would mean opening his big, dumb, traitorous mouth.

“Is everything alright?” the angel continued, “You seem distressed. Wait, where’s Sam? Did something–” Dean vehemently shook his head, earning a perplexed head tilt and a further narrowing of deep blue eyes.

“Dean,” he pressed, stepping forward, “What’s wrong?” Before he could make an attempt at a response, Sam breezed into the room and leaned against the counter beside him, much to Castiel’s visible relief and Dean’s silent consternation.

“Yeah, Dean,” his moose-sized tormentor threw in, “Speak up. What’s wrong?” Dean shot him a death glare that did little to fortify his sibling’s rapidly crumbling composure and then returned his focus to Castiel with a deep breath.

“M'fine,” he managed, “…Just… Thirsty.”

“Are you sure?” Castiel asked, clearly not entirely convinced, “The way you’re speaking is strange.” Dean shrugged, turning halfway toward the sink to twist on the cold tap and dip his glass beneath the faucet. He took a long gulp of water and, feeling emboldened by the sudden lack of throat spasming, decided to work at fully putting his friend’s mind at ease.

“It’s nothin’, Cas,” he added, “Sammy was just being a di–HIC!” He closed his eyes against the renewed laughter that tumbled out of the oversized man next to him.

“I ha–hic!–ate you,” he huffed.

“You have the hiccups,” Castiel surmised, sighing in either relief, mild irritation, or some combination of the two. Dean couldn’t tell which without looking.

“He’s–he’s,” Sam choked out, “had ‘em s-since the hunt. H-he tried to, to threaten a vampire while hiccuping!”

“Ha, h–hic! Ha,” Dean interjected, rolling his eyes open, “So–hic!–o glad I entertain yo–hic!–ou.”

“If they are truly that troubling and persistent,” Castiel offered, taking another step forward and raising a hand, “I could–”

“No–Hic! way, Cas,” Dean protested, lifting his own free hand to stop him, “We’re not mo–hic!–joing away hic–ic!–ups. I… Just… Need wa–HIC! Damnit! Water.”

“O-or,” Sam coughed through his waning fit, “A good shock–wait, no, scare? I might have to check the lore on hiccups, just to be sure.” Dean started to level another scowl at his brother, only to find Castiel suddenly crowding into his space.

“Ca–hic!–as,” he argued, attempting to step back only to find himself practically pinned to the counter’s edge, “You don’t h–hic!–ave to–” He was abruptly cut off, this time not by a hiccup, but by the angel fisting a hand into the front of his shirt and pulling him into a kiss that was just fierce enough to blow past anything chaste. At the edges of his awareness, he could hear his brother’s snickering stutter into a gasp, but it barely registered among the thoughts and sensations racing through his brain and exploding across his nerve endings–the electric tingle down his spine, the heat simultaneously flaring across his face and rising in his gut, the dueling mental clash of confusion, contentment, and naked want. In the end, the latter two won out, and Dean was just starting to return the gentle pressure against his lips, when a not-so-distant clapping jolted him out of the connection altogether. He glanced past Castiel’s shoulder to the source of the sound, only to find a smug and noticeably healthier Gabriel standing at the mouth of the hallway with confused-looking Jack in tow.

“And that, nephew ‘o mine,” the archangel announced proudly, “Is how you blast through years of obnoxious UST.”

“Ust?” Jack repeated, frowning.

“Unresolved Sexual Tension, my dear boy,” Gabriel counseled, “Now resolved thanks to yours truly.”

“Excuse me,” Dean jumped in, leaning around one celestial being to confront another, “But what the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, nothing much,” Gabriel replied, shoving his hands into his borrowed sweatpants with feigned bashfulness, “Just giving things a much needed push. You’re all welcome by the way, you especially, Sammy. I’m sure it’s been torture third-wheeling all that eye-sex.”

“Not an answer,” Dean shot back impatiently.

“Well, as a true artist, I feel my work loses something in absolute distillation, so let’s just say… A little brotherly encouragement while you boys were out–”

“Castiel said it was pestering,” Jack interrupted, still appearing completely lost.

“Semantics,” the archangel smirked, “Anyway, a little prodding at little Cassie, a well timed case of hiccups–”

“Well timed?” Dean echoed, “Well– That was you? You gave me hiccups, in the middle of a damned hunt?!”

“Huh,” Gabriel marveled, leaning a shoulder against the wall, “I guess recovery from Assmodeus’s funny business still has me a little off. Oh well, that’s tricks for ya.” Dean clenched a fist and started forward, only to be stilled by a gentle touch on his arm. His gaze slid back to the angel he wasn’t currently thinking of strangling, the one who had been his best friend for nearly a decade, who he had loved for nearly as long but had been too chicken shit to tell. The one who had just kissed him and was now giving him a look that was equal parts hope and apprehension as he waited to see which would win out: Dean’s cowardly desire to sublimate everything and laugh it off, or the insistent thing that was sparking between them, unsaid but always there. “You’re hiccups seem to have abated,” Castiel noted softly.

“Yeah,” he agreed, “Guess it’s like Sasquatch said. A good shock..” He trailed off, struggling to keep eye contact as he felt a blush creeping back into his cheeks.

“Good?” Castiel repeated cautiously.

“Really good,” Dean nodded, willing his pointed stare and the conviction behind his weak assessment to convey years of meaning, “Awesome actually.” The corner of his mouth quirked into fond but nervous smile, and Castiel’s hesitancy immediately gave way, his own lips twitching upward.

“You know,” he said, his tone even and contemplative, “I recently read about a study on hiccups and home remedies for their removal.”

“Oh?” Dean contended, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Castiel replied, “It mentioned scares, along with several other treatment options. In one instance, a 40 year old man was suddenly cured of a four day case when he ejaculated during intercourse.” Dean’s mouth fell open and his brain ground to a sudden halt. Intercourse. Cas had said intercourse. As in– and probably with–

“Ahem,” Sam coughed loudly, “Maybe you guys should– HIC!” And just like that Dean’s consciousness snapped back to the moment at hand, his gape-mouthed stare tightening into a wicked grin.

“You alright there, Sammy?” he asked.

“Dea-hic!–ean,” Sam croaked, any effort to sound threatening countered by the ridiculous squawk.

“Man, tough break,” Dean went on without a scrap of sympathy, “But, I hear there’s things that can help with that.”

“You know, Sam,” Gabriel piped up, “Not to brag or anything, but I myself have been know to inspire an ejaculation or two… million.”

“Kissing seemed to work well enough though,” Jack pondered aloud.

“You’re right, Junior!” Gabriel beamed, “Hows about you go put on some headphones and watch a movie while me and Uncle Pantene get everything sorted?”

“Y–hic!–ou guys are the wor–hic!–orst!” Sam protested.

“Sounds like you’re in good hands, man,” Dean concluded, “Meanwhile, I think Cas and I are gonna go try out some preventative measures, if ya know what I mean… And I mean sex, if that wasn’t clear.”

“U–Hic–ugh!” his brother groused.

“Karma’s a bitch, bitch. Come on Cas.” With that, Dean threw an arm around the angel’s shoulder’s and started leading him out of the room, trying his best to focus on his sibling’s much deserved mortification rather than the possessive grip Castiel now had around his waist, and all the things they could try to keep any future hiccups away.

#destiel ficlet #deancas fluff #spn ficlet #profoundnet #gabriel #Sam Winchester #jack kline #poor sam #kind of

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